Femme Docs and Kevlar Knights
by A Cullen Wannabe
Summary: Bella is a first yr medical intern who was raised by her brother Emmett and his friends after their parents died when she was 16. When a night in the ER turns dangerous can her boys, now members of the best SWAT team in Chicago save her? Lang/Lem/complete
1. Prologue

_**Please Take Notice: I started censoring this story for erotic content...so the first forty chapters have been edited, but then I have up and just reposted as is. Anyway, This story is available in it's uncensored completed form on TWCSlibrary dot com, as well as Twilighted dot net. Links to both are available on my profile page. **__**Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience. A Cullen Wannabe**_

_**Disclaimer: I am not blessed enough to have come up with the concept of Twilight, all the acclaim for that masterpiece belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but I do like to borrow her characters from time to time.**_

_**Author's Note: Okay guys, this is a whole new genre I'm attempting here, but I wanted to give it a shot. This is AU/AH, eventual canon pairings although characters are quite OOC, solid M rated for language and possible eventual lemons. I'm only a few chapters in so far, so give me your opinions good or bad and let me know if you think this story is worth pursuing. This is really a stretch for me because I'm not one to use gratuitous foul language, but it really seems to fit the personalities of the characters in the story…so if it sounds forced, it's because it sort of is…but since I'm a firm believer in stretching outside of your comfort zone, I'm going to take this puppy out on the FF superhighway and see how she flies. Also, the only thing I know about med school and internships I've learned from ER and Grey's Anatomy, which I'm sure isn't the most accurate of resources, so sorry if my facts are off and if you have any suggestions for corrections then please PM me and let me know. Honest opinions are not only being encouraged for this one, but begged for, so please review!**_

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**Prologue**

The day started out like any other, after too little sleep I fought to drag myself out of bed and to the hospital for another day. I was now Dr. Isabella Swan, after working my ass off to get through premed as quickly as possible at Northwestern University in Chicago and then jumping feet first into the medical program there, here I was…twenty three years old and a doctor.

I had whined and complained as I got dressed and walked through the big glass doors to discover my fate for the day. I was a first year intern and we always got stuck with the crappiest of jobs. One of my least favorite rotations was the ER because I spent the entire shift on edge worrying that at any minute they would drag one of my boys in after being injured on the job. I loved my boys, but their job with the police department scared me shitless.

Today however I ended up with my absolute least favorite job here. The ER was overflowing with cases so much so that they couldn't sort out who was who. On days like this, one unlucky intern is chosen to do triage in the waiting room. That job contains two things, figuring out who is in bad enough shape to actually need an ER and not an urgent care center or trip to a regular doctor's office, and being screamed at for informing those not critical enough to stay that they need to make the six block trek to the urgent care center down the street or else wait all day until the more critical cases of the day were taken care of.

So there I was, up to my elbows in screaming people who wanted to end my life, but never suspecting one would really try. I mean hospitals are supposed to be safe. They are places of refuge, places where you go when you are hurt to be healed…you never suspect anything else bad to happen…but some days life throws you a curve ball and today was my day.

As I sat against the wall watching the raving lunatic wave his gun back and forth in front of me threatening me and all of the poor innocent patients in the waiting room with me I could only think of a few things in the haze of my fear. First of all, I needed to get these poor people, especially the more critical patients, out of here. Secondly, I needed to calm this man who was obviously shoved over the edge of rational thought down and get him to trust me. Finally, he better duck his head and hide once my boys are called because once they find out that I'm in here, they're going to be out for blood, or more accurately the cleanest headshot possible, because when you're the little sister figure to a whole squad of SWAT officers, you know that the cavalry is always on the verge of breaking down the door to save you.


	2. Brotherly Manwhores

**Brotherly Manwhores**

I plopped into my chair at the table with a sigh. Another night with the guys…correction, another night being pretty much ignored by the guys as they checked out the brainless bimbos that strutted around the bar in barely more than their underwear covering their silicone enhanced bodies. I'm pretty sure that my body was the only female body in the room that was completely au naturale.

"Guys, ten o'clock…The blonde with the silver stilettos…what I wouldn't give for an hour in my back seat with her!" Mike yelled over the noise.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and took another long drink of my rum and coke. Why do I even bother wasting my time here? Oh yeah, right, they're my big brother's team and basically all my brothers by default as well…that and I have no friends or life of my own. I took another big swig feeling the familiar warmth fuzzing my overtaxed brain and allowing my perpetual mental filter to slip slightly.

"Ha Mike, like you'd be more than five minutes! You guys are so fucking unbelievable! God, just go hire a hooker and get it over with. She probably would have had fewer diseases and then at least you'd know she'd be talented enough to be worth the effort." Oh yeah, the filter was long gone!

"Whoa, whoa there baby sister, if you're busting out the f-bomb then it's time to cut you off." I shot my brother Emmett a dirty look before rolling my eyes.

"Em, Do you guys even realize how pathetic you all sound. My God, you're all a bunch of perverted broken records with one-track minds! God forbid you actually meet someone with some substance and carry on a relationship beyond wham bam thank you ma'am! If I weren't so damn pathetic and managed to have a life outside of the hospital, I would so be anywhere but here!"

"Isabella Marie! First of all, you know I'm not in on the whole slut scene anymore now that I have Rosie. Secondly, you are NOT pathetic. You've been working your ass off to get through college and med school on the fast track and now you are a first year intern. After you get past this first year things will start looking up for you socially. I'm proud of you for sticking with the important stuff; you have the rest of your life for the rest for this shit."

I took a deep breath rubbing my hands roughly over my tired haggard face. I had just come off an eighteen-hour rotation in the ER that as usual morphed into a twenty-five hour shift. I knew I looked like death worn over sitting here having not even bothered to change out of my scrubs before crossing the street to our regular hang out to find my boys. It was no wonder the guys seemed to forget they were in the presence of a female when I was around. I barely felt like one anymore myself. I had been reduced to an androgynous medical robot whose entire life was the hospital and sleep with a few sporadic meals tossed in between.

I sighed leaning my head against my big brother's warm bicep. "Thanks Em, I should probably just go home already. I get to do it all over again tomorrow and could really use a good night's sleep."

"Bells, I'm not sure you should be going home alone. You're pretty plastered and totally exhausted on top of it. I have to wait for Rosie or else I'd take you right now. Could you please wait just a little bit longer for her to get here and then we can drop you off on our way to her place?"

I sighed. Emmett and I shared an apartment just a few blocks away and I hated the implication that I couldn't manage to walk the whole four blocks home by myself. I was a grown woman now, but my over protective brother never could really resolve himself to that fact. I guess I could understand in a way since he's been taking care of me since our parents died when I was sixteen. He was in his second year studying criminal justice at Northwestern University in Chicago and turned his whole world upside down in order to take care of me. He rearranged his schedule, moved out of the dorms and into an apartment so we could continue to live together and worked his ass off to provide for the two of us. Emmett was beyond any doubt the best man I had ever known. Seriously, what twenty year old do you know that would sacrifice so much to keep his kid sister out of the foster system, especially when it would only have been for less than two years?

It was a big adjustment for me too. I went from living life in a small town in central Illinois to being thrust into life in the big city. I was never alone though. His freshman year at NW Emmett gravitated to a group of guys who shared all of the same interests including his major and they immediately grew into a brotherhood… and they all adjusted and helped out when a kid sister was added to the mix. I jokingly called the boys the Justice League and our apartment just so happened to be Justice League central. I never walked in or out of the front door without there being at least one if not more of those guys draped across a piece of our furniture and eating our food. Thank goodness I was a decent cook and they actually had the good graces to chip in on groceries or I'm not sure how we would have survived.

Originally they had dreams of joining the FBI, but when they all graduated, somehow several of them managed to join the Chicago police force and end up in a SWAT team together. So now I was sitting here with what was left of the original Justice League and a few new guys, drunk off my ass and growing more and more annoyed as I watched the newbies to the crew, Mike and Tyler, as well as League vets Joey, Andy, Jasper, and Edward ogle the never-ending procession of two bit, dime a dozen hussies tripping in and out of the front door in their six inch stilettos taking bets on which one they would end up bedding tonight.

I looked up considering waiting with Emmett just in time to see Edward and Jasper put a ten down on the table betting on which one would get the closest silicone barbie's digits first and I heard myself growl, no longer able to bear the blatant disrespect for the rest of my sex being flaunted in front my face.

"Emmett, I am not a fucking child! I am twenty-three years old and perfectly capable of walking myself home. Besides I can't stand to watch you guys objectify any more women tonight. You guys disgust me!"

I meant to make a graceful exit, but between the booze, my exhaustion, and my typical lack of coordination, I stumbled on the chair leg in my attempt to stand up and toppled backward into the lap of my big brother, thank goodness it was him and not the soused douche bags at the table behind us! He opened his mouth to protest again as all of the guys at the table laughed openly at me, but I halted his speech by covering his mouth before pushing myself off of his lap, grabbing my purse off the floor, and listing my way toward the front door.

I was nearly there when a drunken queen of the silicone jungle decided that it was the perfect time to whip around and do a booty drop on the drunken sap she was reeling in at the bar, slamming into me in the process. I struggled to regain my equilibrium, but it was too late and I was sailing toward the floor for an embarrassing face plant when I felt two strong warm arms wrap around me and a velvety voice in my ear letting me know I was okay and joking that I should have realized I was in a plastic enhanced floozy zone. I giggled a little as he led me through the door and the cold of the fall Chicago night hit me immediately helping to sober me some and regain some semblance of my mental filter.

"You really don't have to do this Edward. I'd hate for you to miss out on getting your rocks off tonight with miss upgraded from a B cup to a Double D back there." Okay, so maybe the filter wasn't exactly in place. I looked up at my surrogate big brother and his ungodly beautiful presence wishing that growing up with such dauntingly handsome guys hadn't spoiled me for life.

He shrugged his shoulders with his hands in his pockets looking sheepishly at the sidewalk for a moment in a rare moment of conscience before the wall immediately returned adorned with his cocky smirk. "No biggie, the hottest ones always stumble in after midnight anyway."

I shook my head and made a lame attempt to punch him in the arm to which he pretended to be maimed and pouted holding his bicep. I rolled my eyes and began stumbling toward my apartment in a desperate attempt to escape Slutward.

I had known Edward Masen for seven years now and had grown to accept that basically there were two Edwards. There was my sweet and caring big brother type guy, Edward, who looked out for me and held me as I cried when my first boyfriend broke my heart and dumped me on the night of prom when I wouldn't put out for him. (Jake mysteriously showed up Monday at school with two black eyes and a broken arm by the way…I guess you shouldn't mess with a group of future law enforcement officer's baby sister figure.) That Edward would listen to me and hold my hand and stroke my hair and hum me to sleep when I was upset or stressed out. He was kind and caring, and an all around good guy like Emmett.

Then there was the man who came out in public, particularly the bar settings. This was Slutward. He was the unrelenting manwhore who used his dazzling good looks, striking green eyes, and always soft and enticing as hell bronze sex hair to sleep his way through the better part of the city. Slutward was the bane of my existence and often led me to tears when I would again and again see my sweet Edward morph into the horny unfeeling monster.

Unfortunately my mental state and biological predisposition to hazard didn't allow me to get too far ahead of Slutward before the edge of my sneaker caught in a grate effectively twisting my ankle and sending me once again spiraling toward the ground and once again Edward swooped in to save the day.

"Damn it!" I screamed wishing at least once tonight I could pull of a cool attempt to storm away in righteous indignation.

"Are you okay Bella? Does it hurt? Can you walk?"

"Yes Edward, I'm fine, now let me go!" He did and I went to take my first step as my ankle attempted to buckle out from underneath me again and Edward reached back out to stabilize me.

"Obviously you're not alright. Do you want me to take you to the ER?"

I groaned. "No, I've had enough of these to recognize the severity by now. It's just a sprain…a minor one at that I think. I have to go wrap it and ice it and hopefully it will be better tomorrow, or else it will be one long freaking day tomorrow."

Edward frowned at me as he listened before smiling at me knowingly. "Well, someone's buzz has definitely been killed." I looked at him questioningly. "You said freaking instead of the fucking." He laughed as he scooped me up to carry me bridal style. "The only time you actually cuss is when you're drunk, the rest of the time you use milder alternatives."

I sighed and threw out feeble protests at Edward carrying me as I relaxed into his arms resting my head on his shoulder. By the time we got to the apartment I was nearly asleep.

"Bella, love, do you have your keys handy? I can't hold you and reach mine."

I mumbled and reached blindly into my purse pulling out my keys and attempted to reach over and insert the correct one into the handle, but I was far too disoriented. With a laugh Edward grabbed the key from my hand using the one my legs were draped across and lithely unlocked the door carrying me directly to my room and laying me down on my bed. He disappeared and then reappeared with an ace bandage, a bag of ice, a glass of water and two ibuprofen.

"Here, take these and I'll wrap this up for you before I go." I mumbled an incoherent thank you swallowing the pills quickly and taking a few more sips of water before letting my head fall back against the pillow.

I could feel his gentle touch as he removed my shoe and sock and rolled the leg of my scrub pants up a bit running his hand along the inner and outer sides of my ankle before adeptly wrapping it in the bandage and propping it up on a pillow. I was asleep before he placed the bag of ice over the injured foot, only aware that he had done so when I found the bag of water lying haphazardly across my foot when I awoke the next morning. The bandage on my foot, the melted ice, and the two ibuprofen waiting for me to take on the bedside table were evidence he had been here. I was sad that they were the only signs of Edward's presence…and that fact bothered me.


	3. Femme Docs and SelfConscious Sluts

**2. Femme Docs and Self-conscious Sluts**

I walked through the large glass doors that led to the lobby of Northwestern Hospital and immediately bumped into my friends and colleagues Alice Brandon, Sabrina Silver, and Krista Chase. We chatted for a couple of minutes, taking a few final desperate swigs of our Starbucks before making our way to the locker room to change into our scrubs and start our day. We were the dream team, the only all female team of interns working under the best Resident the program had to offer, Dr. Kristy Kopinski, but we all called her Dr. K. We were almost legendary amongst the hospital staff and they affectionately referred to as the Femme Docs.

We quickly changed and rushed to find Dr. K at the nurse's station on the fifth floor preparing for rounds. "Let's go ladies, we don't have all day…we have three dozen patients to squeeze in before noon and time's a wasting!"

In spite of her reputation as the best, and tough as nails resident, Dr. K was actually pretty awesome. Since we were all girls, she let her guard down a little more with us, letting us in on the big secrets of the medical profession. One, it's a man's world and if we want to keep up we have to be the best and have thick skin. Two, in order to get the respect we deserve, we have to do it faster, better, and more efficiently than the rest. Three, never, ever, get involved with any of the hotshot Attendings, especially in a city like this. Any doc that's good enough to be renowned here is a big fish in a big pond and is going to have an ego and a moral compass to match. These guys got where they are because they're not afraid to run over a few people to get there, and you are **not** the exception to the rule. There is one exception to the hotshot rule, our Chief of Medicine, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Dr. K could not account for the exclusion, but Dr. Cullen truly was a kind and caring man, full of altruistic intentions. He was the only man in this building any of us girls could trust and depend on…he also happened to be Edward's uncle.

We made our rounds in record time and worked on some charting before Dr. K sent us to the pit to assist with minor injuries that had flooded the ER this week. It was towards the end of the shift when we finally had a case slightly more interesting than stitching up minor injuries and dehydrated flu sufferers. I had just finished stitching up a sad little three-year-old boy when Krista came up to me with a concerned look on her face.

"Bell, I've got one I want a second opinion on before I call in the surgeons, you know what dicks they can be if you call them down when it's unnecessary. Could you take a look?"

"Sure Krista, let me see the chart." I glanced down seeing that the patient was suffering from abdominal pain and vomiting. Labs came back showing elevated bilirubin count as well as elevated AST and ALT levels. "From first glance I would guess you're thinking gallstones?" She nodded. "I'll talk to the patient, but if you're worried about the surgeons you probably should go ahead and order an ultrasound to see if there are any stones present."

I walked into the room as Krista followed. "Hello Mr. Drake, I'm Dr. Swan. Dr. Chase asked if I would take a look to ask you a few questions then we'll be sending you down for an ultrasound. In the meantime, would you like something for the pain?"

He nodded weakly and Krista left the room to tell the nurse. I questioned the man about his symptoms and explained that we believed that he most likely has gallstones and we would be sending him for an ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis. If the ultrasound did in fact indicate what we believed, then a surgeon would come down to discuss options. Based on the level of pain he was exhibiting, surgery would most likely be scheduled sooner rather than later. He thanked me as I left the room and I updated Krista then she ordered the ultrasound.

The rest of the day was a bit monotonous. It's pretty sad when the highlight of your day is a simple gallstone patient. We eventually managed an escape to get on with the rest of our lives, as small and brief as they might be in the scheme of things during this part of our education.

I walked into the apartment to find three of my boys draped across the furniture of the living room, still wearing their official issue S.W.A.T polos and jeans, looking about as wiped as I felt. "Afternoon boys…rough day?"

Edward yawned and stretched and I couldn't help but notice the way his shirt strained against his muscled chest. I've spent the last seven years surrounded by perfect abs and pecs, you'd think I'd be used to it by now…but honestly, can you ever see too many exquisitely chiseled examples of male perfection? "Yeah, we had a pretty intense morning. How 'bout you?"

I snorted, "Boring as heck. Rounds, stitching up cuts in the pits, the basics…you know it was a sad day when the most interesting case you encountered was a dude with gallstones. I'll be so glad when I can get past basic clinicals and choose a specialty." I was tossing my shoes behind the door and hanging my coat as I bellyached and I turned back to find that all of the boys were watching me with focused attention.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I just find it amazing that you are really a doctor now…well for the most part at least. I didn't know you were to that part of your training yet, where you get to choose a focus. Do you know what you're going to choose?"

I chuckled at the lot of them. They probably risked life and limb that morning to save people from a bomb threat or a hostage situation yet here they sit apparently in awe that I stitched some skin together and figured out that a guy's gall bladder decided to fight back before passing him on to the surgeons who would be doing all the real work.

"I've been debating. I don't think I want surgery. It seems like they're all total dicks and there's no real patient interaction, it's all 'hi, oh we're taking this organ out tomorrow…bye.' I really like working with kids in the ER, so I've been thinking maybe pediatrics. I'm not sure. I still have seven months before I even get to have any say in where I focus, so I've got plenty of time to figure it out."

They nodded and all except Emmett looked back at the TV. Emmett continued to stare at me in awe and I couldn't help but giggle. "So, which of you big strong men is going to cook me some supper? I'm starving and I didn't really take time to eat since breakfast."

Emmett frowned. "Bella, you really need to start eating better. You're not going to be able to keep up at the pace you're moving for much longer if you don't keep your strength up. I swear you've gotten even skinnier since the beginning of the month. Those scrubs are barely staying on your hips."

I registered Edward glance back toward me out of the corner of me eyes as I sighed and plopped my fists on my hips. "I'm fine Em…but if you're that worried about it, then maybe you'd be willing to have a nice warm meal waiting for me when I get out of the shower?"

He smiled, "Sure thing squirt. Go get cleaned up and I'll have something ready when you're done."

"Thanks Em!"

I disappeared into my room where I grabbed a nice big comfy t-shirt and my gray sweatpants before making my way down the hallway to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and turned on the shower filling the room with steam before I stepped under the hot spray and let the beating pulses of the massaging head relax my shoulders and neck muscles. I sighed as I felt the tension and dirt of the day drain off my body and down the spout. I stayed there until the hot water began to chill and then finally shut off the taps and stepped out to dry myself and slip into my nice comfy sweats.

I dried my hair and ran the comb through it before opening the door and making my way back down the hallway to the living room and plopping down on the couch next to Edward letting my head fall back against the cushions and rolling my neck as I made the seat recline.

"How's the ankle? Did it give you any troubles today?" Edward asked with a smirk as he rolled his head to look toward me from its relaxed position on the cushion behind him.

"Luckily it didn't give me any grief. Thanks for wrapping and icing it last night before you left."

"No problem. Did you know you still talk in your sleep?"

I groaned and covered my face. I made it a habit not to fall asleep in front of the boys because I never outgrew sleep-talking and they would inevitably overhear something that would result in me being teased for the next week. "What did I say this time?"

His smirk faded a little, "You said something about being alone and asked me not to leave."

My eyes shot open and I looked at him in surprise as I curled my knees up to my chest and turned my body toward him. "I'm sorry. I hope you didn't feel bad for going back out after that. I was asleep after all."

"I didn't go back." My eyes grew wide and shock filled my expression and he shrugged. "I wasn't in the mood…your little rant made it feel a bit too skeevy." Then the wall went up and he got a touch of his Slutward expression out as he continued. "You're the queen of cockblocking…you know that?"

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your night. You know I get carried away when I've been drinking."

"That's okay, I just hung out here for a while until Emmett got back and checked in and then I left after we talked a bit. And you might have gotten carried away, but I also know that you meant what you said, the alcohol just takes your filter away."

Suddenly he seemed to find his feet very interesting and I knew that something I had said the night before had hurt his feelings…badly. I thought back over what I remembered of the conversation and I didn't remember saying anything that was any worse than usual. I reached over and placed my hand on his arm and I felt a warm tingle in my fingers as it lay there.

"Hey! I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I don't know what I said to put that look on your face, but you're really not THAT bad!"

He sent me a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. I must have said something that really bothered him to cause a reaction like this.

**EPOV**

She sat there looking all sweet and caring as her warm little hand that was trying to comfort me sent tingles up my arm and it ripped my heart out even more to know what she really thought about me. She fell asleep last night as soon as I rested her newly bandaged foot on the stack of pillows, so I gently sat the bag of ice across her bandaged foot and went to leave and then I heard her voice so I turned back thinking she was still awake, but she wasn't…she was talking in her sleep. I stopped and went back to sit in the rocker by the closet because I hadn't realized that she still talked in her sleep and that shit was always hilarious.

I sat for a few minutes before she started again, but what I heard wasn't funny at all, it was heart wrenching. Her beautiful face was bathed in moonlight and it looked sad and tortured as she tossed.

"NO…please, I don't want to be alone anymore…so damn lonely."

"Please don't leave Edward, please stay, don't turn into Slutward again."

I froze as I listened. _She called me Slutward? What the hell? I'm not a slut! Sure I have a good time with the ladies, but a slut?_

"Talk to me! Don't be a dickhead! What are you hiding from?"

_Hiding? I'm not hiding._ I tried to rationalize with myself, but the tightening in my chest told me otherwise. I sat and listened a while longer as my head reeled wondering if this is what she really thought of me. One of the five people on this planet that I actually give a flying fuck what they think of me and she thinks I'm a slut?

My stomach began to feel queasy. Bella…Bella was amazing. She always has been. Ever since I first saw her face at her parent's funeral she has haunted me. She was just a kid, only sixteen and complete and total jailbait for my twenty-year-old ass, but she was already so beautiful. Her hair was long and straight and she carried herself in a way that oozed innocence and sweetness. She was so sad, her whole world turned completely upside down, and yet when she did actually manage even a weak smile in acknowledgement of our presence it was radiant.

I spent the next seven years trying to avoid those feelings I would get when I looked at her. It wasn't the typical lust, not that lust was completely removed from the equation, but there was this other feeling that was far more dominant. It was like someone was sucking my heart through the back of my chest leaving me empty and fighting for breath. It wasn't a _bad_ feeling per se, but terrifying nonetheless.

I stayed there watching Bella toss in the sheets for a long time, waiting to see if there was more to hear, but she never spoke again. Finally I heard the sound of keys rattling the door knob in the living room, so I stepped over to the bedside leaving a light kiss on Bella's forehead before walking down the hallway to meet Emmett and Rosalie in the living room.

"She okay?" Emmett asked immediately with worry in his eyes.

"Yeah, she fell asleep almost immediately, but she twisted her ankle on the walk here. I wrapped it and iced it for her."

"Shit, she's always hurting herself. Why she got cursed with Mom's grace, or lack thereof, I'll never know. Thank God I didn't!"

Rose and I laughed as he walked across the room and sank into the couch pulling Rose with him. He looked over at me and saw through me.

"What's wrong with you dude? You look like someone just ran over your dog or something."

I shook my head and ran my hands over it and through my hair in frustration. "It's nothing."

"Dude, I've known you too long to believe that. What's wrong? Bells get pissed at you or something?"

I looked up, "Why would you think that?"

He rolled his eyes, "Because the only time you walk around acting like a fucking pussy is when Bella's pissed off at you. What'd you do this time?"

"Nothing man!" Damn, I'm more transparent than I thought! "I just heard her talking in her sleep after I iced her foot and I didn't like what I heard."

Emmett leaned forward looking concerned. He knew as well as I did that what Bella said in her sleep was typically an unedited look into her psyche, which is why her words were bothering me so much. I knew she REALLY meant it.

"She said she was lonely and she asked me not to not turn into Slutward again."

Emmett and Rosalie's faces froze for a split second before they both broke into booming rolling laughter. "That's classic!"

"Dude, it's not funny. She thinks I'm a slut? What the hell?!"

"Edward, you ARE as slut. You've seen more pussy than a gynecologist! You think she wouldn't notice that you take bets with Jasper on which of you going to score the nearest bimbo and that you take home a different girl practically every other night? She's a DOCTOR for fucks sake Eddie, she's definitely smart enough to figure it all out!" Rosalie snickered from the couch next to Emmett.

I looked down at my jeans having been properly shamed. I was a selfish prick and I knew it. I liked the thrill of the chase, I liked banging some hot chick with no worries of having to deal with an emotional aftermath, but I didn't like knowing that Bella was watching it all and thinking less of me for it. I didn't like her thinking of me like that. I knew she joked about it, but her words last night made it clear that it really bothered her…and it bugged the shit out of me that it bothered her. My body was sitting still and yet on the inside I felt like I was falling into a bottomless pit with no end to the miserable sensation in sight.

Emmett and Rosalie talked a while longer, but I didn't really hear what they were saying. I was too distracted with thoughts of Bella. Maybe she was right; maybe it was time I grew up. Maybe I should look into a relationship for a change. Maybe I'd hang up the player hat for a while and see what happened. I sat up a little straighter in the couch resigned to trying something different for a change. And a few minutes later excused myself to check on Bella one last time before leaving her apartment and making my way back down the street to my place. It would be empty and lonely, just like it always was, but it would give me time and space to think.

I pulled myself out of my reverie to realize I was still staring at Bella. God she was so beautiful even when she wasn't even trying. It took me a second to see that she still had that sad look in her eyes thinking that she had done something to upset me. I mean, yeah, the things she said bothered me, but it wasn't her fault. Like Emmett and Rosalie said, she was just being perceptive and she didn't like what she was seeing.

I reluctantly pulled my gaze away from her face looking toward the kitchen to see Emmett fumbling with a pan. Of all of the people to ask to cook something for her, Emmett was probably the worst choice. But he loved doing stuff like this for her which is probably why she asked him, so I thought I'd go lend a hand. I turned back to her with a more genuine smile.

"Looks like Emmett's having some issues with your supper. If you want to eat sometime this decade I should probably help him."

She smiled and let out a light chuckle that jostled her shoulders a bit as she watched me walk into the kitchen. I was greeted by a string of profanities as Emmett dropped the skillet sending Bella's omelet splattering across the kitchen floor.

"Having issues there bro?"

"Fucking thing got stuck and when I tried to pry it up to flip it I dropped the pan. I hate electric stoves!"

I was laughing out loud at him now. "Here, I'll make a new one while you clean this mess up." I opened the cabinet and got out the other skillet before going to fridge and pulling out the ingredients I needed to make Bella's favorite meal.

Next to Bella, I was the best cook, so on special occasions I was always nominated to make her a special breakfast. We would all take in to her and sing happy birthday or congratulate her on her graduation or whatever special event we were honoring. Her favorite was my own special western omelet recipe. A few minutes later I had the onions, peppers, ham and cheese cut up and poured them on top of the partially fried egg before gently pulling the edge over to create a pocket for the ingredients to warm and melt within. Once it was sufficiently cooked I slid it gracefully onto a plate dribbling a little salsa on top and throwing a piece of buttered toast on the side. I poured a glass of orange juice and carried it and the plate in to the living room only to find Bella sound asleep on the couch.

I looked up at Jasper still half awake in the recliner across the room. "Has she been out long?"

He shrugged, "I don't know…maybe five minutes."

I frowned down at the food debating on whether I should let her sleep or wake her up and then I looked down at her curled on the couch noticing how much baggier her sweats were. Emmett was right, she had lost more weight lately which was the deciding factor of my internal debate. I sat the food on the end table next to her and dropped to my knee in front of her as I reached out to run my hand up and down her arm. The warm tingles in my fingertips were momentarily distracting. Finally she stirred.

"I'm sorry Edward. Don't be sad, I don't like it when you're sad."

"Bella, are you awake sweetie?" She didn't respond. She was talking in her sleep again and I closed my eyes because damn it, now not only did she think I was a slut, but she was feeling bad for thinking I was a slut. The black hole in my chest sucked itself deeper as I grabbed her shoulder and shook her gently. "Bella…Bellllllaaaa. You need to wake up and eat. Emmett's right, you need to eat to keep your strength up. Wake up sweetheart."

Her eyes slowly fluttered open and locked with mine and my heart froze in my chest as my lungs refused to take in a breath. She looked at me confused for a moment, obviously wondering why I was kneeling in front of her with my hands on her. I immediately pulled them away feeling awkward but tried to cover it with a sly smile. "Bells, I hated to wake you up, but you're starting to make the starving children in Somalia look healthy. You really need to eat before you crash for the night. I set your food on the end table."

She stared at me wide eyed for a few minutes before blinking a couple of times and then glancing over at the end table where her food sat waiting and a wide smile spread across her face that made the black hole in my chest shrink a tiny bit. "An Eddie special? Wow…that looks great. Thanks!" Of the five people on the planet whose thoughts I cared about, only four were allowed to call me Eddie without getting their asses kicked. Bella happened to be one of them.

I smiled down at her as she eagerly pulled the plate off the end table and onto her lap cutting into the egg with her fork and taking a bite with an appreciative hum. I watched her take a couple more bites before going back to the kitchen to check in on Emmett's progress. We talked a few minutes before I bid him goodnight and returned to the living room, shocked to discover Bella had already scarfed down the entire omelet and half of the piece of toast. I teased her about being careful not to eat the plate while she was at it and she shot me the cutest little evil look that just made me laugh more. I bid both she and Jasper good night and closed the door behind me to walk the two blocks to my apartment.

**BPOV**

Edward looked back toward the kitchen and chuckled before informing me that Emmett seemed to be having some issues getting my supper ready as he smiled at me he seemed a little cheerier. He got up and padded gracefully toward the kitchen. I watched him walk away, unable to take my eyes off of the nice view until I heard a loud clang followed by a stream of obscenities and turned back to look at the TV only to find Jasper looking at me strangely.

I raised my eyebrows at him in question and he just smiled slyly and folded his arms locking his all knowing eyes on mine. "Are you guys going to keep doing this dance forever or what?"

"What dance Jasper?"

"Oh please, you're both in fucking love with each other but you're both too chicken shit to do anything about it."

I rolled my eyes, "You are so full of shit Jasper. Edward is not in love with me. I honestly don't think he knows what love is…not that kind of love at least. He sees me as a little sister and that's all. And not only that, I don't feel that way about him. Yeah I wish you'd both show a little more respect for the female population, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with him. I mean…he's like a brother to me."

My mouth spewed forth the defensive proclamations convincingly enough, but the knot in the pit of my stomach knew that I didn't believe half of the words coming out of my mouth.

"Whatever you say little sis," he answered with an eye roll. "Oh, and he's upset because when you were asleep last night you let your little nickname for him slip and he's bothered that you think of him that way."

"What little nickname?"

"Slutward." My mouth fell open and my eyes grew wide. I never told anybody about that nickname. I would never say that out loud because I knew it would bother him no matter how true it was.

"Awe man, no wonder he looked so hurt earlier. Damn my stupid sleep talking! URG!"

I crossed my arms and stared at the TV frustrated with both myself and the entire situation. Yeah Edward was a bit of a slut, but he had always been so good to me. He never made fun of me the way the rest of the guys would and he was always there for me when times were hard or when I was having trouble coping. Edward honestly was pretty much my best friend.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep or what I had been dreaming about, but I was awoken by a warm tingle in my arms that shook me gently and the smooth velvety voice of Edward calling to me. "Bella…Bellllllaaaa. You need to wake up and eat. Emmett's right, you need to eat to keep your strength up. Wake up sweetheart."

For the briefest of moments I had a flash of a daydream. I was lying in a large warm cozy bed adorned with fluffy white bedding and Edward was kneeling next to me with a tray of food to serve me breakfast in bed…but this bed was our bed…and he was barely dressed and smiling at me with a hooded gaze filled with love and lust.

I opened my eyes slowly wishing up until the last possible nanosecond that it could be real, but when my eyes blinked open I was on the couch but then my heart froze as I looked into the sparkling emerald eyes. Edward was kneeling in front of me with his hands rubbing up and down my biceps. I willed my lungs to work and my heart to pump, but they wouldn't listen…all I could do was blink in awe at the beautiful man on his knees before me.

My heart fell into my feet when he jerked his hands away looking uncomfortable and I felt the embarrassment in my cheeks. I knew he must have seen the emotions I was feeling and needed to escape. He shot me a sly smile trying to cover his discomfort and teased me with is cocky Slutward voice.

"Bells, I hated to wake you up, but you're starting to make the starving children in Somalia look healthy. You really need to eat before you crash for the night. I set your food on the end table."

I continued to stare at him, blinking a few times before I finally registered what he had said. Glancing over to the end table was a plate with his famous western omelet and a piece of toast waiting for me. I smiled, realizing that if I couldn't have the full fantasy, I did at least get this part. I looked back up at him, still smiling.

"An Eddie special? Wow…that looks great. Thanks!"

He smiled down at me and watched as I used my fork to cut off a rather large piece and shove it in my mouth with a hungry moan. His omelets were the stuff of legend. They always had such wonderful flavor and practically melted in my mouth. He stood while I took a couple more bites before excusing himself to go check on Emmett.

I took another bite as my eyes rolled in the back of my head enjoying the sensation of the delightful flavors melting in my mouth as I heard Jasper snort from across the room and mumble, "Yeah…he's like a brother to me, my ass!"

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head at him taking another bite of the omelet and chewing nervously. _Was I that obvious? Did Edward see it too? Of course he did, that's why he pulled away from me and looked so uncomfortable. I need to get this man out of my head…but how am I supposed to do that? It's not like I have the time or ability to date, and there's no way I'd subject myself to any of the men I actually have access to at the hospital. They're ten times worse than my boys ever thought about being. _

I sighed as I shoveled in another bite no longer taking the time to savor the flavors but instead rushing to satiate my raging appetite. Before I knew it Edward was standing in the living room looking down at my plate with an astonished expression on his face. I looked down surprised to see why. In the few short minutes he was out of the room, I had managed to inhale the entire three-egg omelet and hadn't even realized it.

I blushed a little in embarrassment as he teased me about being careful not to eat the plate but I quickly covered by sending him the best playful narrowed eyes mean look I could muster earning a chuckle before he bid Jasper and I good night and disappeared out of the doorway. I chanced a glance over at Jasper who was staring at me with a sarcastic looking smile and I scoffed and stuck my tongue out at him before getting up to take my empty plate to the kitchen and say goodnight to Emmett before crawling into bed and trying to fall sleep…that is if my overactive mind would let me.

_**

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Author's Note: Well what did you guys think? I've been amazed at the response so far. Also if you like this story then you can always fill the time waiting for the next chapter my checking out my other stories. I have two other long stories, one of which is still in progress that I need to get back to, but I keep getting distracted by this one, a completed short story, and a one shot. If you get some time, go to my profile and check them out.

_**A special thanks to my beta for this story Sihaya9 for working to help me iron out the rough spots and fix my many errors! **_


	4. The Day From Hell

**Disclaimer: You all know I'm didn't dream up the world of Twilight. That all goes to Steph, I am just a lowly copycat who uses her characters to do my own thing.**

**3. The Day From Hell**

I was a bit distracted as I went through the morning rounds with Dr K and the rest of the Femmes. I couldn't get Jasper's little comments out of my head. It was hard enough to keep my head on straight when it came to Edward, but Jasper's little comments had me evaluating even more than usual. Thankfully nobody seemed to notice my distracted state as we finished morning rounds and did our charting. Today we took time to eat lunch before returning to the pit for another afternoon of stitches and broken bones.

After two hours in the pit I walked around the curtain to find my favorite little five-year-old patient sitting there. He was cradling his little arm with a pained expression on his face. The fact that in my five short months of the program he had been in enough to become my favorite patient spoke volumes to the clumsy nature of this poor little guy.

"Ethan, what are you doing back here? Did you miss me that much?" I smiled down at the sweet little boy who smiled through his tears at me.

"Hi Dr. Swan. I did miss you, but I wish I didn't have to be hurt to see you."

"Me too little guy, what happened here anyway?" I pulled the round stool to sit in front of him gingerly taking his injured arm into my hands as he winced and fresh tears pooled in his blue eyes.

"I fell out of my bed."

"I take it you have a bunk bed?" I asked, noting that his radius bone was most definitely broken.

"No," he answered looking confused. I looked up at his mother who was echoing his answer with her head. "He sleeps in a standard twin size bed. It's not more than two feet from the floor."

"Did you fall on a toy or something when you fell out of your bed sweetheart?" He shook his head no.

I frowned and chewed on my lip as I sat his arm down on his lap carefully and picked up his chart. I flipped through the pages to see he had been in for five different breaks in the past two years alone. I looked at his previous labs and noticed that none had been run to test for the various number of conditions that could lead to this many breaks.

"Well sweetie, I'm pretty sure it's broken, but we have to send you down to x-ray first to know exactly how bad it is and then we'll set you up with a sweet cast that all the kids can sign again. Do you want blue, green, or orange this time?"

He thought for a moment and then smiled, "I want orange."

I smiled back down at him and ruffled his hair, "Alrighty, orange it is!"

I looked up at his mother and asked her if I could speak with her in the hallway. She followed looking nervous. "Mrs. Lancaster, has your family physician ever discussed anything that might be causing Ethan's bones to be brittle or any reason for so many breaks that's not listed in his chart with us?"

She frowned and shook her head. "No, the doctor just says that he's accident prone."

I sighed, "Well, yes, while he is accident prone, it's not typical for the bones of such a young person to break from such a short fall. Not without impacting some type of blunt object or hard ridged surface to cause the break. If you don't mind, I'd really like to run a few blood tests. Would that be okay with you?"

The worry was etched in her face, "Of course, anything to help Ethan, but do you think its bad Dr. Swan?"

"Don't get too worried yet Mrs. Lancaster. There are a number of things that could cause weakened bones and we won't know anything for sure until the test results come back. I'll order the x-rays and send the nurse in to collect the blood sample right now. I'll also request that the results be rushed as quickly as possible."

"Thank you so much Dr. Swan," she whispered with a small smile before looking back through the window at her son.

"Oh, don't mention it. I'll be back in to check on how things are going after the x-ray results come back and I'll set and cast him then."

She nodded and I walked down the nurse's station to place the order for the x-rays and run my suspicions past Dr. K to make sure I wasn't forgetting any other tests. I knew that the possibilities ranged from rickets to cancer or congenital diseases. She agreed to all of my suggested tests and then I put in the order with a rush request, asking that I be paged when they were completed. The rickets test would be able to be completed fairly quickly but the cancer screening could take a few days and the DNA profile could take up to two weeks.

I saw a couple of other patients before Ethan's nurse informed me that his x-rays came back. I made my way back to his room, sliding the films onto the lighted board and showing Ethan and his mother where his bone was broken. Thankfully it was a clean break that would be relatively simple to set and cast.

Ethan was a trooper, as usual, and only cried the slightest bit as I set the bone, seemingly relieved when it was back in place. I kept him talking about school and friends as I set about the task of wrapping his arm in the plaster cast with an orange outer layer. My beeper went off halfway through wrapping his arm. When I was done I signed his cast and called the lab to find that the rickets test came back negative. I slid Ethan's arm into a sling and promised Mrs. Lancaster that I would personally call as soon as the rest of his results came in. Before they left Ethan ran over and hugged my legs with is good arm, thanking me for taking care of him. I ruffled his hair again affectionately and made him promise to be more careful.

After work I changed into a pair of jeans and my favorite long sleeve t-shirt before walking across the street to see if the boys were at Dooley's Pub. I walked in to see them all lounging around our usual table looking bored. They all halfheartedly waved a hello as I slid into the empty seat between Jasper and Andy. It was too early for the trashy girls to be out yet so there was nothing to entertain or distract them. We sat talking for a little while when I noticed that Andy was acting strange. He suddenly ducked his head cradling his forehead in his hand.

"Are you okay Andy?" I asked as I watched him carefully.

"Headache," was all I could make out of his mumblings.

I looked around the table, "Did something happen with him today?"

Emmett spoke up from across the table with a curious look on his face, "Yeah, he hit his head during a drill, but he said he felt fine. The medic took a peek at him and said he seemed fine. Andy insisted he not go to the emergency room."

"How bad was it?" I asked as I reached out to tip Andy's head to look at me and he closed his eyes appearing to be very drowsy.

"It was a pretty hard…he fell and banged his head on a metal crossbar."

"Andy, open your eyes, look at me." He mumbled something incoherent and slowly opened his heavy eyelids and I gasped when I saw that one of his pupils was more dilated than the other. "Oh Shit! Guys, you need to bring two paramedics over from across the street with a gurney!" I looked over to see four men frozen in place looking like deer caught in headlights. "NOW!" I screamed and they suddenly jumped up as Emmett ran across the street and the others came around to stand behind us with worried expressions.

I had the boys support Andy's body as I turned his chair toward me and held Andy's head I my hands. "Andy, Andy can you hear me? Andy, try to stay awake. Listen to me Andy, you need to stay awake…I think you have a concussion or maybe even something worse, but I really need you to stay with me, look at me Andy."

At that moment he went limp and I yelled for the boys to lower him to the ground. While Jasper stabilized his head, I knelt down next to him beginning CPR after I assessed that his breathing had arrested and his heart had stopped. Time seemed to stand still as I relentlessly pumped Andy's chest and stopped directing Edward to provide breaths. We paused every few minutes to check for a heartbeat, but with no luck.

Finally the paramedics came through the door taking in the scene. I told them I was an intern and explained the situation while continuing compressions. After they briefly took their own evaluation we paused for a quick moment to transfer Andy onto the gurney. I jumped on, straddling him and continuing compressions. The paramedic at his head took over providing breaths with a bag valve mask as we rolled Andy quickly across the street while the boys stopped traffic to help us pass more quickly.

We rolled into the ER never stopping our efforts to keep Andy's blood oxygenated and pumping through his body, hoping it was enough to limit the oxygen depravation to his brain. I immediately began giving a breakdown of the situation and Andy's condition to the Attending on duty before the paramedics took over compressions. I climbed off the gurney and told the boys I would go with Andy and come back to let them know what was going on, then I followed the medical team into trauma room two.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but you can't be in here. Hospital staff only." The charge nurse, Peggy, told me as she saw me standing just inside the door.

"Please Peggy, I promise I'll stay out of the way. I…I just need to know he's okay."

She froze and turned back at me with wide eyes and then smiled slightly. "I'm so sorry Dr. Swan; I didn't recognize you with without your scrubs and with your hair down. Of course you can stay."

"Thanks Peg," I answered with a relieved and appreciative grin. I made a note to myself to bring her a nice batch of cookies later this week.

I watched in a daze as the doctors and nurses swarmed around Andy fighting the instinct to jump in to help, knowing I was too emotionally involved and would only get in the way. Instead, I stood in the corner listening as the doctors tubed him and managed to restart Andy's heart as they discussed the possibility of a subdural hematoma. They ordered a portable CT and attached the tube to a ventilator to keep Andy's respirations steady.

In a daze I left the room to go find the rest of my boys in the waiting area as tears continued to roll down my face. The boys were immediately up and at my side as I walked in. Andy had no family besides us locally, so they made the call to his parents in California and waited for more information. Emmett immediately pulled me into a hug and I clung tightly to his waist as I fought to regain my composure. After a few minutes I pulled back and turned to face the boys who all wore matching expressions of terror as I felt myself go into numb doctor mode again.

"He's currently on life support. They're bringing in the portable CAT scan equipment now to see, but we're pretty sure he has a subdural hematoma, which basically means that several of the little blood vessels that run along the surface of his brain are bleeding into his skull and putting pressure on his brain. If this is the case they'll have to rush him into the OR, shave his head, and drill holes in his skull to relieve the pressure or maybe even open him up to repair the vessels. There's no way to know how much, if any, permanent damage there may be."

They all stared at me blinking in silence, none of them knowing what to say or how to respond. "This is really bad guys…" I felt my voice crack as I continued. "There's a chance he won't wake up." The tears began to roll again. This time Emmett tightened his arm around my shoulder pulling me into his side as Edward came to stand on the other side running his hand down my hair and kissing my temple.

"This has been such a shitty day. If I'd gotten over to meet you guys sooner then maybe he wouldn't have gotten this bad."

Immediately they all started talking at once but only Emmett's voice sunk in. "Don't go blaming yourself Bella, you were amazing! I mean, Wow, I was so proud of you! Besides, he hadn't even complained once since the medics checked him out until you got there. You probably wouldn't have found out until he put his head down anyway. If he survives this thing, he will owe it all to you. You were…Wow…seriously…Wow!"

I sighed and buried my face in his shoulder before telling them that I should probably get back in there to see if there were any solid answers yet. As I walked back toward the trauma room I thought back over all of the years that I had known Andy. An original member of the Justice League, Andy was always the comedian of the crowd constantly doing impressions of Austin Powers and Adam Sandler in an attempt to coax smiles out of me when I was down or stressed out. It was so hard to see my goofy happy surrogate brother lying there so broken and motionless.

I stepped through the door sliding once more into the corner and listening to the doctors discuss Andy. The CT scan results did in fact show a rather large hematoma. Immediately an OR was booked and a neural surgeon was called in to perform a craniotomy to relieve the pressure and attempt to stop the bleeding. A second later they were wheeling Andy out of the room and I reached out to squeeze his hand as they rushed by before going back out to inform the boys.

I led them to the surgery floor and settled them in the waiting room before going to find who was on duty and asking them to keep us informed before returning to endure the excruciating wait with the rest of my boys. I snuck into the viewing gallery a time or two to see how things were progressing, but watching Andy laying there with his brain exposed to the world was too much to handle so I would immediately turn around and go back to the waiting room. The minute hand on the clock seemed to creep by as we waited impatiently for news of Andy's condition.

Four hours later we received word that he was out of surgery and Dr. Taylor had finally managed to repair the damage and clear the area of clots. He lost a great deal of blood, needed a transfusion and was currently in a coma. From this point on it would be a waiting game to see if he would wake up, and if he did nobody knew what kind of permanent damage he may have suffered.

"He just hit his head when he fell during an exercise. How could something like that cause so much damage? I mean we look death in the face on a nearly daily basis, and he gets taken out by falling on a piece of rebar? That's so fucked up!" Edward mumbled from next to me as he took my hand and squeezed it in his own. I squeezed back comfortingly as we all stared at the floor in shock.

Finally, after about half an hour we decided that we needed to try to get some sleep. Andy wouldn't be allowed visitors until eight the next morning anyway, so we all left for our respective homes in an attempt to sleep. Emmett, Edward and I walked in silence toward our apartment with my arms linked into each of theirs. Edward paused to hug me bye and tell me how proud he was of me today when we reached the door to our building and then continued on toward his place. Emmett led the way and opened the door for me, motioning for me to enter. We plopped onto the sofa and sat in a daze for a few minutes.

"I can't believe Andy's in a coma." Emmett whispered as he reached out to take my hand.

"Yeah," was all I could answer.

"I have to tell you though Bells, I have never been more proud of you than I was tonight. Mom and Dad wouldn't believe it if they saw you now. You're so smart, and so good at what you do. You're totally amazing."

"Thanks Em." I tried to smile back at his gaze, but all I managed was a weak grin. "I'm tired Em, I think I'm going to go see if I can sleep."

"Okay Squirt, sweet dreams. I'll be going to bed soon myself; I just want to call Rosie first."

"Okay…goodnight Em."

"G'night."

I walked to my bedroom and changed into pajamas before stumbling into the bathroom to clean up for bed and then collapsed on my bed pulling my knees up to my chest. I had dealt with emergency situations before, I had even dealt with subdural hematomas that left people in comas before, but never in my life had they been so intense and emotional for me. There was definitely a reason why you're not supposed to treat the ones you love…all of the detached professionalism that is necessary to deal with the situation is completely lost when the person on the table before you is someone you love. I cried and prayed for Andy as I lay curled in the ball on my bed. Then little Ethan crossed my mind and I cried even harder. It really had been a day from hell and I was desperately hoping that the next day would hold much better news for both of them.

* * *

I got up early the next morning, deciding to go check in on Andy before I had to go join my team for rounds. I rushed to shower throwing my hair up in a French braid before it had a chance to dry and tossing my scrubs on before running out the door. The cool fall air felt far more frigid on my wet head, so I sped my pace to a near jog as I made my way toward the hospital.

As the elevator doors opened to the surgery wing I found myself face to face with a pair of exhausted emerald green eyes. "Edward? What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep so I came back up to see if there had been any news. I've hung out in the waiting room for a while hoping they would give in and let me see him, but no such luck."

I reached out to grab his hand sending tingles through my fingers as I led him down the hallway towards Andy's room. "Just play along okay?" I whispered to Edward as we neared the nurse's station.

I was relieved to find that I knew most of the nurses on duty this morning. "Hi Olivia, Katie, Maggie." You know the stereotype for the sexy leggy blonde nurses with the large chest? I firmly believe that these girls were the model for the stereotype. They all smiled at me briefly before looking at Edward with dazed and glossy expressions. I chuckled to myself as they mumbled "Hi Dr. Swan."

I felt Edward move behind me and wrap his arms around my waist resting his head on my shoulder effectively returning the nurse's attentions to me as they tried to remember whether or not I had mentioned having a boyfriend. I felt myself smile again before I started. "Listen Ladies, our friend, well he's really more like a brother, Andy Markowitz, was brought in last night with a SDH and is now on this floor in a coma. I know it's breaking all of the rules, but I was hoping you guys would let Edward and I peek in on him before my morning rounds with Dr. K."

They looked from me to Edward a few times and then plastered on their sweetest smiles. "Sure Dr. Swan, that shouldn't be a problem," Olivia said a little too sweetly. "I wish I could share some better news, but there's still no change."

"Thanks Olivia. What room is he in?"

"1522," she answered again, more to Edward than to me. I could feel his lips curved into a smile as he placed a slightly over dramatic kiss on my cheek and then thanked the nurses before taking my hand again, placing a kiss on it before leading me down the hall.

As we ducked around the corner I turned him to look at me. "That was a wee bit over the top wasn't it?" I asked with a slight giggle.

He shrugged. "I didn't like the way they were looking at me and then looking at you like they thought I would never be with you or something. I wanted to show them they were wrong."

"Except I've never been with someone like you so I guess they're not so wrong," I mumbled too low for him to make out what I said, but it didn't stop him from grabbing my shoulders to look at me with an angry expression. "What?"

"I didn't hear exactly what you said, but I know you well enough to recognize the emotion in your voice…and I would choose you over someone like them any day."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Edward, you choose girls like them over girls like me every night of the week." He looked at me like I had just slapped him. I shook his hands off my shoulder and opened the door stepping into Andy's room.

My breath immediately caught in my chest and my heart constricted at the sight of Andy's bandages with tubes snaking out from his body in all directions. His head was wrapped in a white turban of bandages and the only sounds in the room were that of the ventilator's constant whooshing then clicking and the steady beat of his heart on the monitors. I immediately felt the tears well in my eyes and I heard a sob hitch in my chest seconds before I felt Edward's warm tingly hands rubbing my arms comfortingly. I spun, wrapping my arms around his waist laying my cheek on his chest as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rubbed my back.

"This is my worst fears come to life you know," I said in barely more than a whisper. "Every day when I work the ER I find myself nervous with every ambulance, worrying it will be one or more of you boys after being injured on the job."

He sighed, "We're good at what we do and are very careful Bells. This was just a fluke."

I leaned back to look him in the eyes. I could feel my brows furrow, "No Edward, your job is dangerous and not only that you're all out there together. It's good in some ways to have your brothers watching your back, but I can't escape the thought that if something really bad happened, I could lose everyone I have left in this world in one single instance." I was openly sobbing again. "I'd be alone."

Edward's face went from sad to hurt, ending in a mask of determination as he reached up his hands holding my cheeks between them as he stared deeply into my eyes. "I won't let that happen Bella. I promise you. We will never ever leave you alone."

"You can't promise that Edward. Nobody can."

Before I even knew what was happening Edward's lips were on mine. It was a simple sweet kiss full of care and compassion. I stood frozen for a moment before my eyelids fluttered closed and I felt my body involuntarily returning the kiss. Our lips moved together as the kiss slowly grew in intensity. My hands found purchase in Edward's soft bronze locks. His thumbs grazed my cheekbones before one hand slid around to cup my neck, the other slid around my waist pulling me closer. I felt his lips open and his tongue graze my lower lip when suddenly we were pulled out of our haze by the speeding beep of Andy's heart rate on the monitor.

We pulled apart and looked at each other with matching expressions of surprise, and then Edward suddenly pulled away from me as though I had electrocuted him rushing out of the room. I stared at the doorway through which he had just disappeared only a second before I registered that Andy's heart rate was still elevated. I rushed to his side to see that his eyes were open and he appeared to be panicking. I hit the call button and ran my hand over his forehead comfortingly.

"Andy, its okay, calm down, it's Bella. You're in the hospital. You had to have surgery last night and now you are recovering in the ICU. You're okay. Calm down." I could hear the beep of the monitor begin to slow when his eyes settled on mine and then fluttered a few times as his hand tried to lift the tube coming out of his mouth.

"It's okay sweetheart. The tube was put in to help you breathe. Don't try to talk. If you're doing well enough they will take it out soon."

As I said this two nurses came flying into room with matching expressions of surprise. Dr. Sanders followed moments after as they began to evaluate Andy asking him questions. I looked at the clock and realized I had to go down for my rounds. I leaned over Andy and explained where I had to go, but that I was glad he was awake and I would come back up to visit the first chance I got. He nodded and grabbed my hand in his squeezing tight twice before letting me go and returning his attention to the doctor and nurses.

I reluctantly left his room and went back to the elevator leaning against the wall and letting my head bounce back against it a few times as the tears welled in my eyes. I was so relieved that Andy was awake and seemed mentally cognizant but what the hell was all of that with Edward? I reached my hand up to graze my lips with my fingers as the memory of the kiss we had just shared took me. I felt the tingles start in my lips then they spread slowly across my face and through my body. It had been, without a doubt, the single most amazing kiss I had ever shared with anyone in my life. Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped. A tear trickled down my face as the expression on Edward's filled my mind; he simultaneously looked surprised, shocked and repentant. I took a deep breath because I knew him, I knew him better than he knew himself, and I recognized immediately that he regretted it. The best kiss of my life and he thought it was a mistake.

The elevator chimed when I arrived at my destination. I reached up to wipe away the tear and put on my doctor persona. I had to push my personal life aside for the next twelve hours and be the professional I knew I had to be. I walked forward to join my team who looked at me questioningly since I was late. I explained the situation and they all offered their sympathy before we turned to the task of rounds with Dr. K.

**EPOV**

I walked out of Andy's hospital room and plopped down in a plastic waiting room chair, burying my hands in my face. _Fuck, fuck, FUCK! What the hell did I just do? I kissed her. I kissed Bella…and God did it feel good…too good. This is all so wrong! _

_This is Bella, sweet innocent Bella…Bella who deserves the world, a safe normal husband to spend her life with who will give her babies and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and a pool in the back yard. She doesn't need a fuck up like me who can't walk away from the job putting himself in danger every day to swoop in and make her life any more difficult than it already is. I love her too much to see that happen._

_Wait…what? I love her? Well, yes, I love her. I've always loved her; hell she's been like a little sister to me for nearly seven years now. Of course I love her. Fuck Edward, get over yourself! _

I shook my head trying to pull myself out of my mental debate. I felt completely ridiculous and completely flustered at the same time. I rubbed my hands over my face and through my hair giving myself chills down my spine as I remembered that only a minute ago it was her soft tiny hands clutching there. I blew the air out of my chest in a huff as I rubbed my fingers at my temples before pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Yeah, so basically every nervous little tick that I do when I'm stressed out I was exhibiting in this moment. I was beyond nervous, beyond frustrated, beyond intimidated. This was Bella…I had just kissed Bella, and I liked it way too much for either her, or my own good.

I let my head fall back against the wall behind my chair and closed my eyes. I heard her footsteps and smelled the scent that was undeniably Bella seconds before I opened my eyes to see her step into the open elevator and push a button before leaning against the far wall. She let her head bounce a few times as tears rolled down her cheeks, and then I could swear I saw her hand go up to her mouth with a slight smile just before the door closed. I sat there staring at the space where Bella had been just a moment ago willing the vision to come back.

_Did I really see her hands come up to her mouth? Was she thinking about our kiss? Was she upset? Did she like it? Did she feel the same thrill I did? _God, I sounded like a junior higher with his first crush!

I buried my face in my hands once again before looking up at the clock and seeing that visiting hours started, so I stood up to return to Andy's room. I was surprised at the commotion and when I stepped in I sighed in relief to see that he was awake and looking around. The nurse turned and asked me to step out of the room. I told Andy I'd be right outside and he waved halfheartedly as I left.

Ten minutes later the doctor and nurses left the room. The doctor paused to tell me that they had just removed the tube, so talking would be difficult for him and I shouldn't stay long because he needed his rest. I asked if they knew yet of any other damage. He said that preliminary signs looked good, but it would be a while before we knew anything for sure.

I walked in to see Andy sitting up with his eyes barely open. He tried to speak but his voice was gravelly and hoarse. "Was that just a screwed up dream or did I see you and Bella kissing?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. He wakes up from brain surgery and the first thing he asks about is seeing me kiss Bella. "She was upset because seeing you lying here reminded her of the fact that we all work in such dangerous conditions and she's afraid someday we won't come home, and well it just sort of happened."

"About time douche bag."

"What? What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "You two have been skating around each other for the past seven years."

"Dude, she was jailbait seven years ago…besides, I don't think of Bella like that."

"You don't think of Bella the way you think of the girls you bring home every night and that's good because she deserves a lot better than that…but you do love Bella. Your problem is you just don't know what real love feels like to recognize that you found it."

I shook my head and took a slow deep breath in and out. "You're high dude. Doc says I need to let you rest, so I'm going to take off. I'll call the rest of the guys and let them know you're awake."

I started to stand but Andy reached out to grab my hand before I left looking me in the eye. "Edward, you need to figure out what you feel for Bella and sooner rather than later. She won't wait around forever and if she moves on and finds love somewhere else you are going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you."

I smiled at him and patted his hand patronizingly. "Okay man, thanks for the advice."

"I'm serious Edward. You've taken it for granted that she's always been around, but someday someone else is going to notice how incredible our Bella is and then it will be too late. It takes something like this," he said pointing to his head, "to make a man realize how short life really is. Don't waste it."

"Okay man, I won't. Now you go to sleep. You need to rest up. Concentrate on healing your ass so you can get back to work. It's not going to be the same without you."

He smiled and I turned to leave the room. As I walked down the hallway I thought about his words. How many times in your life do people tell you that life's too short and not to waste it…and yet hearing it coming from a man who nearly lost his less than twelve hours ago, well it sort makes you pay attention.

I walked through the front door of the hospital pulling out my cell phone. I called Emmett to spread the word on Andy's condition before hailing a cab to take me to the station. On the way there two things kept interrupting my thoughts, Andy's words, and the feel of Bella's lips on mine with her hands combing through my hair. I groaned and let my head smack against the window of the cab as I watched the city fly past in a gray blur.

_**

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Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Lots of medical drama going on, I hope it turned out somewhat believable. Thank you so much for your comments, faves, alerts, and hits. Don't forget that if you want to get email reminders that I update then you need to be sure to save this as a STORY ALERT, or add me as an author alert and then you'll know about my other stories too. Thanks for reading and please take time to review!

Thanks to my beta Sihaya9 who is the queen of grammar!


	5. Avoidance and Disappointment

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, but Slutward is a product of my own imagination playing around with her perfect Edward. **

**4. Avoidance and Disappointment**

The next two weeks passed in a blur. When I wasn't working the floor I was hanging out with or checking in on Andy. Andy's room was party central with the guys and me floating in and out all day long. Even the other Femmes began dropping in to say hi.

Edward, however, was avoiding me like the plague. Anytime I would drop in he would miraculously have somewhere else to be and would disappear into the hallway, not returning until after I was gone. We never talked about that morning in Andy's room and the kiss that shook the very foundations of our friendship. Andy gave me a hard time about it whenever we were alone, calling me out for being chicken shit. He thought that the two of us needed to get over this whole Junior High immaturity thing and talk like the honest to god adults that we were supposed to be. He was right; I was chicken shit about talking to Edward because where right now we were in friendship limbo, I was terrified that if we actually ended up talking about it that we would go from limbo to destruction. I just couldn't bear the thought of that…so instead I followed his lead in avoidance.

Two days after sending off Ethan's blood work I received the cancer screening results which thankfully were also negative. Well, I say thankfully, but in a way it wasn't the best news. There was only one test left, the results of which I was dreading the most because I suspected bad news.

The other possible option that could account for his frequent trips to the ER had also crossed my mind, but I had quickly dismissed it in favor of a medical answer. Most doctors, when looking at Ethan's file, would have immediately jumped to possible abuse. It was not uncommon for children to come into the ER on a regular basis with stories that matched up with Ethan's. Falling out of a bed or hitting their faces on door knobs when in reality the youngster was actually being beaten by a family member. Often in those cases the children are withdrawn and their stories seem shaky or contrived while the parent seems jumpy or overly loving. None of these things were the case with Ethan and his mother. Granted I had never met his father, or any other family members, but Ethan's personality in and of itself was not that of a child who was being beaten down. When he shared his numerous stories of woe he would always look me straight in the eye and his story would never change or waiver.

As the two week mark approached, I began checking Ethan's chart daily to see if the results had returned, thinking somehow my request to be informed had not been passed on and I missed it. But every day his file remained unchanged.

It was two weeks to the day that I finally got the page indicating that his results were ready. I was lounging in Andy's room after a grueling sixteen hours in the pit, having chased Edward out of the room only ten minutes before. I jumped when the pager began to vibrate in my right pants pocket, resulting in the boys laughing at me when it nearly made me fall out of my chair. I shook my head as I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at it seeing a request to call the lab. I gulped and took a deep breath leaving the boys to all look at me strangely.

"Hey Andy, can I use your phone for a sec? I need to call the lab for some results. You're not expecting your parents to call or anything are you?"

"Oh no Bells, go right ahead." He replied with a warm smile.

I heard the phone ringing on the other line and I had to fight to keep down the bile I felt rising in my throat. Finally on the third ring a young lady answered. "Hi, this is Dr. Swan. I'm calling for the results of the DNA profile for Ethan Lancaster."

"Oh, just one moment please Dr. Swan," the girl replied hastily before putting me on hold to listen to the monotonous piano concerto. Normally the music was calming and I really didn't mind listening to it, but today I was anxious. One of the boys told a joke and they all broke into loud laughter. I turned to shush them when I heard the music abruptly stop indicating the girl was back on the line.

"I have it here Dr. Swan. Is there anything in particular you were looking at for this?"

"Yes, I need to know if there was an indication of Osteogenesis Imperfecta." I held my breath as I waited for the lab tech to scan the results.

"Yes Dr. Swan, the patient in question's profile did indicate the potential for OI." My heart fell into my feet and I could feel the moisture collecting in my eyes as I tried to force it away.

"Thank you," I replied in a robotic tone. "You're welcome Doctor." The line went dead, but I couldn't bring myself to remove it from my ear. Sweet little Ethan was going to be plagued for the rest of his life with the pain of weak and easily broken bones, and now I had to call his mother to arrange an appointment to break the terrible news. I swallowed past the lump in my throat. I could taste the bitter bile that was lurking, threatening to bring my stomach contents to the surface.

I finally set the phone down and looked up to see a room full of concerned expressions. "You okay Bells?" Jasper asked from his place on the foot of Andy's bed.

"Um…, not really. I just found out that I have to share some pretty bad news with a patient who shouldn't have to hear it. Uh, okay, well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go down to the doctor's lounge and make a call."

"Okay Bells. We'll be here when you get back okay?"

"Yeah, uh, thanks." I walked in a state of numbness I made my way down the hallway to the doctor's lounge. I was not looking forward to making this call, even though I would only be telling Mrs. Lancaster that I needed her to come in for a consultation, it was still going to be heartbreaking because she will know, as all people do, that if the doctor needs you to come in, the news is not good.

I opened the door to the lounge, relieved to see that it was empty. I signed in at the computer to retrieve Mrs. Lancaster's phone number from the database. I lifted the phone from the desk with a tremor and dialed the numbers, taking a deep breath before pressing the last digit. I forced myself to breathe normally as the phone rang.

"Hello, Lancaster Residence," I heard the cheery voice of Mrs. Lancaster on the line.

"Hello Mrs. Lancaster, this is Dr. Swan calling from Northwestern Hospital."

"Oh hello Dr. Swan," the hopeful tone of her voice made my heart ache, "are the last of the lab results back?"

"Yes Mrs. Lancaster, it appears that we have discovered what is going on with little Ethan and these problems with his bones breaking. I was hoping that you could come in sometime this week so we can discuss it further."

The other end of the line dropped into a dead silence. "Dr. Swan, is it bad?"

How do I answer that question? How do you tell a mother that for the rest of his life her son will suffer the pain and agony of broken bones on a regular basis while partaking in the most basic of tasks? Thankfully Ethan seemed to have a less acute case of OI, but even then, life would never be easy for him. "It would be better to discuss the particulars with you in person. There is more going on with your son than just his lack of coordination and knowing what is causing the problem will go a long way in helping keep him from being hurt as often."

"Is that really all you are going to tell me? I was really hoping you would do better than this Dr. Swan. This is my son we are talking about!"

I bit my lip so hard that it drew blood leaving the rusty flavor on my tongue urging the bile to grow more intense in the back of my throat. "Please Mrs. Lancaster. I don't want to upset you, but I don't want to misinform you either. If you could come by tomorrow afternoon at three pm and ask the information desk to page me, Dr. Kopinski and I will discuss everything with you and fully answer all of your questions."

I heard a deep sigh on the other end of the line. "Fine, I will leave Ethan with my neighbor and be there at three."

"Thank you Mrs. Lancaster. I will see you at three." I hung up the phone and struggled to catch my breath as the tears I had managed to keep at bay refused to stay submerged any longer. Giving bad news was the worst part of my job. Suddenly the bitter bile rose up in the back of my throat. I jumped up, running into the small bathroom attached to the lounge and kneeled in front of the toilet as my stomach emptied its contents.

I flushed the toilet and sat there after wetting a paper towel and rubbing it over my face and lips. I hadn't sat there long when I heard the giggling of a girl and a male voice in the next room. I rolled my eyes knowing it was yet another sexcapade in the doctor's lounge. I don't know about all hospitals, but the ridiculous amounts of quickies that take place here make Grey's Anatomy look tame. I was just about to clear my throat to let them know I was here when I felt another wave of nausea hit me and I gagged into the toilet once more and groaned standing back up to rinse my mouth out at the sink.

"Ew, gross, someone's spewing in there," the Mensa reject whined from the next room.

The voice that answered back made my stomach ache even more and my heart felt like it was compressed down to the size of penny. "Well that definitely killed my mood Mag, we should probably get going anyway. I need to get back to Andy's room." Edward, the man-whore extraordinaire.

I was suddenly filled with total rage, I threw the door open and stalked past the duo entangled on the couch just barely noticing Edward's wide eyes as he proceeded to extract his hand from under the fabric of Maggie's red lace bra, her uniform top already dispatched to the floor.

"Bella…" he called from his place under Maggie.

"Like I said _Eddie _you choose **them** every night of the week," I sneered at him as I slammed the door to the lounge and walked as quickly as I could to the elevator without drawing undue attention, waving Emmett off as I passed him in the hall muttering that I would see him at home.

I stood tapping my foot with my arms crossed as I waited for the elevator to arrive, only to have both Emmett and Edward reach me at the same time.

"Bella, what's wrong," Emmett asked with concern in his eyes at the same time as Edward yelled "Bella, wait, it's not what you think."

I wanted to yell and scream at Edward. I wanted to grab hold of Emmett and let him hold me while I cried over all the ways that yet another day had gone to hell, but instead I just stood there staring at the doors with a blank expression. When the doors opened all I said was, "Emmett please, I will see you at home."

Edward started to step into the elevator behind me but froze mid step when I felt the compartment shift with his weight and turned to glare at him. "Don't you even dare! Leave me the fuck alone, Masen!" I growled at him low enough that only the three of us could hear.

Edward opened his mouth to argue but Emmett reached his hand to clasp on Edward's shoulder. "Dude, I think you better leave her be. Catch her later if you want to talk, but you know that look as well as I do and if you want to walk away with your balls in tact you better back off."

He took a half step back to stand next to Emmett with a pathetic look on his face. The doors closed between us, leaving me to my solitude as the sobs once again started. Why the hell did it hurt so bad to see that? I mean it's not the first time I've seen Edward in the arms of another woman, granted it was usually on a dance floor at Dooley's and fully clothed instead of half naked and ready to go at it like rabbits, but still. Of course we hadn't shared an amazing mind blowing kiss before that either.

The only other time my lips had ever touched Edward's was when I was seventeen and Jake had asked me out, but I wasn't sure how I felt about him. So, I cornered Edward and kissed him because I knew I would always remember my first kiss. I wanted my first to be with someone who I wouldn't look back at being embarrassed or regretting it. The look of shock on his face was priceless as he froze with wide eyes and then gently grasped my upper arms to pull me away. When I explained why I had done it he laughed and hugged my shoulders saying something about first kisses weren't meant for brotherly type guys. He proceeded to give me a pep talk about my first real kiss with Jacob - things I should avoid doing so I wouldn't feel as embarrassed. Of course looking back on it at this moment, I knew my rationale was very faulty because in this moment I regretted kissing him more than anything I'd ever done with Jake.

By the time the elevator opened on the ground floor I was composed enough again to walk out the front door without causing a major scene. I rushed home and went directly to the shower where I let myself go again and cried until I was all dried up. I was kicking myself for being such an emotional girl all the time lately. Normally I wasn't such a pansy ass, but this had been an exhausting month and where I could normally rein in my emotions, these past few weeks were proving to be more than I could suppress. I climbed into bed and fell asleep almost immediately as the physically and emotionally taxing day overwhelmed me.

**EPOV**

Okay, so I'm the first one to admit that when it comes to Bella I'm a great big coward. It's been two weeks and we still haven't discussed the whole kiss thing, but I was pretty sure that she had reached the same decision I had… It was a comfort when we were both hurting for Andy and she was afraid of losing us, so I kissed her to let her know that we were here for her. I mean it's not like it's the first time we kissed…granted she was seventeen the only other time our lips met and I didn't - couldn't return the kiss then because I knew it was so wrong on so many levels, but this was similar in some ways, right?

I am also fully willing to admit that I'm a pussy for leaving Andy's room every time Bella stopped by. I had made it a habit that if I wasn't at work or sleeping, I was visiting Andy, but that also meant that Bella inevitably walked in almost every time I was there.

The first day or so I would go hide out in the cafeteria, get a coffee or something and sit around bored for a while until I thought it was safe to go back up. By the third day I was so bored it wasn't even funny. I was sitting there considering running home for a shower when I heard a soft voice ask if she could join me. I turned to see it was one the three hot nurses from Andy's floor that I had met with Bella the morning of that fucking kiss that never should have been. I smiled and held my hand out in invitation. She sat down, introducing her self as Maggie and asked how Andy seemed to be doing to me. We sat and talked about him for the next half hour until her supper break was finished and then we walked back to the elevators rode to Andy's floor together.

After that I found myself wandering down to the nurse's station when Bella would arrive to check in and see how Maggie's day was going. It started off innocent enough; she was just a sociable girl that I could pass the time with while I was avoiding my best friend. It was the end of Andy's first week when Maggie was getting off her shift just as I left the room to avoid Bella. Maggie asked if I wanted to join her for some supper at a diner across the street before she went home. I shrugged and agreed. We ended up sitting for the next two hours talking, loosing all track of time. She was pretty and sweet and kind of funny. She wasn't overly intelligent, I mean she was smart enough to be a nurse, but that was sort of where her intellectual prowess ended, but I wasn't the smartest guy to walk the earth either so it didn't bother me any.

As I sat there talking easily with the pretty blonde girl who had been such good companionship over the past week, I thought back over what I had promised myself the night that I had escorted the drunken Bella home, it was time for me to try something new. I was going to hang up my player hat and give an actual relationship a shot, so I asked Maggie if she'd like to go out on a date sometime. She seemed quite pleased, exchanging numbers while a wide excited smile lit her face.

The next night just so happened to be her night off; we made our first date and after I got off of work I stopped in to say hi to Andy before going home to shower. I actually put in effort to attempt to tame my hair and dress nicely for the first real date I had been on in ages.

The night went very well and ended with a kiss on the cheek at her door before I went back to my apartment alone which was actually a first for me. At the very least my dates had always ended in a lot of tongue and at least a little heavy petting, but I was turning over a new leaf, I was going to be respectful.

We had two more typical dates that following week, consisting of supper after she got off of work and me walking her to her door, but each night the goodbyes would get a little bit hotter.

Today marked the one week point that Maggie and I had been seeing one another and so once again when Bella arrived I ducked out and headed down to find her sitting at the nurse's station talking to Olivia and another older nurse named Donna. She smiled up at me with a gleam in her eye when I walked up and we chatted casually with the other two before she asked me to follow her down the hall to give 1515 his meds and then she'd be able to take her break.

I waited in the hallway when she left the room and walked straight over to me wearing a sexy as hell smile as she stretched up and wrapped her arms around my neck as she whispered in my ear. "Edward, you've been the perfect gentleman for a week now, but I'm tired of chaste little kisses on my doorstep, I want you to put your hands on me and make me feel like the beautiful woman that we both know I am." Then she grabbed my hair and pulled me down into the hottest kiss we'd shared to this point.

I debated with myself for an entire half a second before my poor neglected dick, who hadn't seen any action since Bella shamed me a little over two weeks ago, decided to take over my decision making. I grabbed Maggie's ass as she moaned and began pulling me toward a door at the end of the hall that said 'Doctor's Lounge' on it.

"Uh, are we allowed to be in here?" I finally managed to get out as she ran her hands all over my body and boy was my body eating up the attention. Soft girl hands felt a lot better than my rough ones that had recently taken care of business in the shower to get me through.

She giggled, "Nobody ever uses this room, except for things like this. We'll lock the door and nobody will know the difference."

"Are you sure, I don't want you to get fired…" I couldn't finish my sentence as her hot little hand reached down the front of my pants and grasped my hard as hell dick while she lapped at my mouth with her tongue. She used her other hand to rip her uniform top over her head to reveal a red lacy bra covering a beautiful pair of D's that were most likely silicone, but who the hell am I to complain?

She pushed me on the couch grinding on me as she kissed me fiercely and my hand moved automatically to grasp at her tit under her bra and she moaned in my mouth. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was hearing that little tiny voice calling my name. _Edward, this feels far too familiar. Don't be Slutward. This is no different from taking a chick home from the bar, the only difference is you've talked to her a few times first and ate a meal of two with her, but this is not the romantic first time that a real relationship should be…is it?_

I was just about to open my mouth to suggest that maybe this wasn't such a good idea and we should wait until some other night when we could taking things a bit slower when the sound of someone retching from behind the closed door of the bathroom made us both jump.

"Ew, gross, someone's spewing in there," Maggie whined from on top of me and suddenly she didn't seem quite as sexy, she seemed sort of ridiculous and I felt a wave of relief that we had been interrupted knowing that while I missed sex, this wasn't what I had promised myself.

"Well that definitely killed my mood Mag, we should probably get going anyway. I need to get back to Andy's room."

Suddenly the door flew open to bang against the wall and the hurt and extremely angry face of Bella complete with red eyes and a matching red glow in her face came stomping out and across the room to the door. I looked down in horror to see that my hand was still under the cup of Maggie's bra and how bad this must have looked to her.

"Bella…" he called to her hoping to explain and ease some of her anger.

"Like I said _Eddie _you choose **them** every night of the week," she sneered at me with more venom than I have ever heard come from her voice in the seven years that I have known her. She slammed the door so hard behind her that it echoed in the room.

Maggie, who now was making me feel completely disgusting as she resumed grinding on me as if nothing had ever happened, turned my face back to hers. "Come on baby, let her go. It's time for us to do what we've both been dying to do since the first day you came up to the nurse's desk and pretended to be crazy about the mousy little doctor girl."

I snarled at her as I stood up leaving her to fall to her ass on the floor. "Well aren't you the great little actress. You're not at all who I thought you were and that "mousy doctor girl" is a thousand times the woman you will ever be. Do me a favor and don't call me again or talk to me for that matter."

I ran to the door and opened it looking down the hall trying to remember which way the elevator was and then running to find Bella. I knew she would make a bee line for the elevator trying to get home. She was so pissed, more pissed than I had ever seen. _God I'm such a fuck up!_

I turned the corner and saw her standing in front of the doors with her arms crossed as her foot tapped quickly against the linoleum floor. Emmett was walking up behind her and I could tell from his posture that he was in concerned brother mode. I picked up the pace in a full out run trying to get to her before the elevator arrived giving Bella the chance to escape before I could talk to her. I had to make her understand what was going on and that Maggie hadn't been what I thought her to be.

I was almost there when I heard the ding of the elevator arriving at the floor and I yelled to her, "Bella, wait, it's not what you think."

She stood there not even acknowledging Emmett. I arrived at his side just in time to hear her say, "Emmett please, I will see you at home." Her voice sounded so hollow and dead and I knew I had really screwed up this time. Bella had two angry modes, full on emotional during which she didn't pull any punches laying it all out on the table for you whether you liked it or not; she only fell into the second mode when she'd had such a bad day that she couldn't deal anymore at all. In this mode she would pretty much shut herself down turning into a zombie. It took a lot to put Bella into zombie mode and today I had totally fucking sent her there.

I went to step in next to her, determined to explain what had really happened, hoping she would see I wasn't the total and complete dick she thought I was when she spun on me with fire and hatred burning in her eyes as she growled at me. "Don't you even dare! Leave me the fuck alone Masen!"

I opened my mouth to tell her that I was sorry and that we needed to talk about this, but Emmett's strong hand clasped my shoulder keeping me from stepping all the way into the elevator with her. "Dude, I think you better leave her be. Catch her later if you want to talk, but you know that look as well as I do and if you want to walk away with your balls in tact you better back off."

I didn't want to let her go. I knew that if she just heard what I had to say that maybe she wouldn't be quite so upset, but I knew Emmett was right too, she was in zombie mode and she wouldn't really hear what I had to say anyway. She would finally get fed up and knee me in the balls and stalk off leaving me to suffer alone. I should know because she's done it to several of us, and me on more than one occasion…and spending the remainder of her teen years with us, for such a small thing she could really inflict a lot of pain.

I watched the pain and anger in her eyes feeling completely helpless as the door closed between us and I was left standing next to Emmett with his bear claw still grasping my shoulder roughly. It tightened when we both heard a loud sob through the metal doors before the compartment lowered too far away for us to hear anymore.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" Emmett's eyes were full of nearly as much anger as Bella's. I looked up at the ceiling and sighed.

"Everything is so fucked up Emmett. You don't even know."

"Well, all I know is that she was already upset enough when she left the room after calling to get some lab results and then went to the doctor's lounge to go give a patient some really bad news and then the next time I saw her she had slipped into her fucking zombie mode. Now what the hell happened between when she left us and just now?"

"Oh Emmett, you're going to fucking throw me down the elevator shaft when I'm done with this story."

I took in a deep breath as I saw his fist clench next to his side. "Well come on then, we better go back in the room because if that's really the case then we need the rest of the guys there to keep me from actually killing your ass."

He turned and stomped back down to Andy's room and sat down in the recliner by the window with his fists still balled and his arms crossed as I told the story starting with our kiss the morning Andy woke up and ending with the elevator. Looking around the room I was beginning to think that maybe Emmett had the wrong idea because Jasper, Andy, and Joey all looked like they were even more likely to pound my ass than Emmett.

I began to count in my head to see how long it would take before the onslaught began. I made it to three before all four of them began yelling at me at once calling me every name in the book and telling me what a complete and total ass I was. I knew they were right. They were all right…but I already knew this, which is why I was avoiding Bella to begin with. Things had been getting far too complicated and I had spent the last two weeks trying to figure out how to stop things from escalating and eventually hurting Bella. Unfortunately it was too late now, I had already hurt her and I fucking hated myself for it.

After ten minutes straight of listening to them yell at me Donna finally came in to tell us to be quiet shooting me a dirty look, probably having gotten an earful from Maggie upon her return from being rejected in the doctor's lounge. They finally settled down and started discussing things more rationally. They all agreed I was a hopeless fucking mess and that I was completely clueless when it came to women having seen that Maggie was a slutty bitch from the first minute they met her.

After a while they finally told me that I was going to have to give Bella some time and then find a way to talk to her and fix things and stop being such a chicken shit, pansy ass, motherfucker, the list went on for at least five more minutes before I was finally able to leave for the lonely, shameful walk home. As I passed by their building I looked up to see that Bella's lights were out and I was hoping that at the very least she was getting a good night's sleep because I was pretty sure I wouldn't.

I walked in the front door and threw my keys on the table kicking off my shoes and plopping down on the couch staring out the window into the night. My eyes shifted for a moment to the pictures that lined the top of the entertainment center. With the exception of the portrait of my parents that was taken just before my father died when I was ten, every single one had Bella in it.

I rubbed my hands over my face and through my hair with a sigh. _Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm such a fucking waste of space._

After a while I flipped on the TV and threw in a random movie hoping to distract myself from the thoughts that kept running through my mind. I wasn't sure how I was going to get her to talk to me and listen to me and give me the chance to apologize, but I knew that I had to, despite having no clue how.

At some point during the night I must have eventually fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I could see the sun rising over Lake Michigan and I still had no idea how I was going to win Bella back. _Wait…win Bella back? What? Get Bella's friendship back, that's what I need to concentrate on. That's the only thing I can ever be in Bella's life…a friend…that's all, right? _

_**Author's Note: Oh Edward, Edward, Edward, always making all the wrong choices before finally making the right one! **_

_**I was totally amazed…yesterday I posted the last chapter for this story and a chapter for Chasing Away the Shadows and ended up having 1,230 hits! I about peed my pants! 715 were for FDKK alone and the others were evenly split between ITSOTD and Chasing Shadows. I was astounded. I'm so, so, so glad that so many people are enjoying this story. **_

_**Thanks for taking the time to read and add it to your alerts/faves etc. and a special thanks for the reviews! **_

_**Also a special thanks to Sihaya9, my ever vigilant Beta. You're awesome!**_


	6. Peeping Toms and Sage Advice

**Disclaimer: All characters originate from the brilliant Stephenie Meyer's Twilight universe, and all songs and lyrics are property of their respective owners. I just can't resist inserting a good song into my stories!!**

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5.**Peeping Toms and Sage Advice**

By the time I woke up the next morning, Emmett was already up and gone. It was technically my day off, but I didn't want Mrs. Lancaster to have to wait to hear the results of Ethan's tests. I decided to spend the morning gathering all the information I could to help her out and then go in for the consultation, fully armed to answer any question she might have and give her the best possible references.

As I stood up my head felt like it weighed a ton. I was hot and sticky as though I had tossed and turned all night…which I probably did considering how I felt. The physical and emotional strain from yesterday had not escaped me during my slumber. But I was now determined to forget Assward and the countless ways he hurt me. Instead I would focus on sweet little Ethan and his condition, doing anything and everything I could to help his family.

A shower was an absolute must. Em and I had developed pretty decent relationships with most of our neighbors and I knew that at this time of the day everyone would be gone to work. My first task was to shuffle into the living room, stand in front of the massive stereo system, that only a house full of boys would choose, and decide what I wanted to have for a shower soundtrack since noise would not be a problem. I scanned the CD's that ranged from Emmett's heavy metal to Jasper's country, trying to find something that fit my mood. I knew I was craving angsty angry girl rock so when my eyes fell to the section that held my collection of Pink CD's a wide smile lit my face and suddenly I knew what I wanted to hear.

I jogged back to my room to grab my iPod so that I could just modify my Pink playlist with a few other angry girl songs, the ones I was dying to rock out to. I plugged the wonderful little music machine into the system and cranked the volume.

My head began to bang to the beat. I padded back to my room opting to just grab my underwear for the day. Since I was home alone, I didn't want to expend the effort for formal dressing just yet. I tossed them on the back of the toilet before cranking up the hot water in the shower and hopping in. I lathered my body and my hair as I screamed the lyrics to There You Go, Stupid Girls and U & UR Hand at the top of my lungs before stepping out, drying off and throwing on my underwear. I began to comb my hair as I sang along to Most girls and then I froze as I listened to the chorus and I felt an angry tear begin to pool at the corner of my eye as I began to sing along loudly at my face in the mirror.

_Most girls want a man with the bling-bling  
Got my own thing, got the ching-ching  
I just want real love  
Most girls want a man with the mean green  
Don't wanna dance if he can't be  
Everything that I dream up  
A man that understands real love_

I was suddenly struck by the honest truth of those lyrics. I was angry and confused by all of the messed up feelings I was having toward Edward, but that was what it all really boiled down to. I wanted a man that could understand and actually participate in a relationship based on real true love and that quite simply wasn't Edward. He knew how to be a friend, a SWAT brother, a son, a nephew, a lover, but he didn't have any comprehension whatsoever on what it meant to be in real true love.

I took a deep breath as the reality of the whole ridiculous situation hit me. I wouldn't be mad at a dog for taking a nice juicy steak that was sitting out on the ground, just waiting to be eaten. Why should I be mad at Edward for partaking in a piece of ass that was right there begging for it? It's in his very nature; it is who he is…he IS Slutward. Our kiss obviously meant nothing at all.

The only person I should be mad at is me for letting myself get emotionally tied up when I knew better. I knew Edward better than that and I knew the type of guy he was when it came to relationships. Hell, to Edward sharing a kiss like we had is tantamount to a freaking handshake; it never would have occurred to him it meant anything important to me. But then again, if he didn't know it meant anything, why would he be avoiding me? He wouldn't…

I continued to rationalize with myself trying to find a way to make the pain subside, but no matter how much solid rationalization I came up with, it still hurt like hell deep down in my chest. I growled at myself for letting my mind get wrapped up in him again and reached for my blow dryer flicking it on and letting my hair blow haphazardly around me.

Thankfully the song soon changed and I snarled at my reflection in the mirror as the perfect song began to play, one that really reflected how I was feeling right now. The thing I was most mad at Edward for was the mixed signals and his avoidance. One minute he was my best friend, the next he kisses me, and then he pretends I don't exist…so I found myself shaking my hips to the beat as I sang along with Katy Perry's Hot 'N Cold at the top of my lungs, getting lost in the song and my frustrations with the ridiculous man who inevitably found a way to hurt me every time I turned around.

EPOV

After moping around my apartment all morning, I called Emmett about the time he would be heading into the station begging for intel on Bella. He didn't have much information to help me except that he was gone and it was Bella's day off so she would be home most of the morning. I had no fucking clue what I would ultimately say or do, but I knew that showing up with something to make her happy would definitely be a good start.

I grabbed a quick shower and threw on a nice shirt, a decent pair of jeans and put my best effort in trying to tame my hair. It was all done with the foolish hope that looking as if I were putting forth an effort physically would help my case somehow. I sighed at the dark circles under my eyes, a sign of my long restless nights and grabbed my keys before walking out the door.

I made my way toward Bella's apartment going a block out of my way to stop at Starbucks to buy her a Venti White Chocolate Cappuccino with an extra shot of syrup and whipped cream, next stop was her favorite bakery to pick up an assortment of her favorite pastries, hoping that a peace offering would at least get my foot in the door. In a split second move I stopped off in the florist two doors down from her building and bought a bouquet of multicolored daisies wrapped in red cellophane as one last out of the ordinary gesture.

I got to her building and used my key to get in the main door. I groaned when I heard the whiney girl rock of Pink blaring from behind the apartment door, knowing that she was still annoyed and in her angsty singing mode. I knocked on the door, but I realized right away that she couldn't possibly hear me over the ridiculously loud tune of Most Girls so I used my key to let myself in. I figured that I'm already in the shithouse and will be screamed at anyway, so I might as well add fuel to the fire.

I yelled as soon as the door was opened but there was no response. I could faintly make out the sound of her hairdryer coming from the end of the hallway. The music changed but before I could use the silence to my advantage to warn her I was here the annoying beat of a new song started. I rolled my eyes at the lyrics knowing it definitely fit the angsty girl rock genre for her mood today.

_You change your mind_

_Like a girl changes clothes_

_Yeah you, PMS_

_Like a bitch_

_I would know_

_And you always think_

_Always speak_

_Crypticly_

_I should know_

_That you're no good for me_

I cringed as I leaned around the corner expecting the screaming to start and I froze as I watched the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. Bella was singing the lyrics as she dried her hair with the blow dryer, dressed in a matching blue cotton bra and panty set. She danced around swaying her hips to the beat.

Self-preservation dictated that I should close my eyes and bolt before she turned around and saw me, but my voyeuristic alter ego wouldn't let my feet listen to my screaming instincts. My eyes were glued to her tight ass as she whipped it quickly from side to side. I felt my pants tighten as I steadily grew harder the longer I watched. I could feel my brain screaming _NO,NO,NO, FUCK you shouldn't be seeing this! You have a hard enough time keeping your mind right around her as it is much less seeing her do this…holy shit…so fucking sexy! Seriously the sexiest thing I've ever fucking seen! NO!_

_Cause you're hot then you're cold_

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in and you're out_

_You're up and you're down_

_You're wrong when it's right_

_It's black and it's white_

_We fight, we break up_

_We kiss, we make up_

_You, You don't really want to stay, no_

_You, but you don't really want to go-o_

_You're hot then you're cold_

_You're yes then you're no_

_You're in and you're out_

_You're up and you're down_

I stood there watching, knowing that at any second she was going to sense me standing here and beat the living shit out of me, and damn it, it would be worth every fucking second of pain. I knew she was pretty. I knew she was smart as fuck. I knew she was amazing and deserved the best of everything in life. But damn, how the fuck did I miss that she was this sexy?

She started to turn my way and I ducked back around the corner when the second verse started and I tried to catch my breath and figure out what the hell I was going to do. After a few seconds I chanced another peek just in time for the tempo to change and she turned a little bit revealing the profile of one of her perky breasts. I gulped and began to hyperventilate at the sight, and then I heard her voice above the music as she sang the bridge with passion and I could hear the pain in her voice.

_Someone call the doctor_

_Got a case of a love bi-polar_

_Stuck on a roller coaster_

_Can't get off this ride_

_You change your mind_

_Like a girl changes clothes_

I turned and walked out the door as quickly as my feet would take me. I had to get out of there. I leaned against the wall of the hallway right outside her door and fought to catch my breath as I listened to the lyrics.

They were actually quite perfect for someone trying to sort out their feelings about the way I treated Bella lately. I had been running hot and cold with her. I was so confused about her, the feelings that fucked with me when I thought about her, the black hole in my chest that felt like it was going to suck my fucking heart right out the back of my spine, the fact that I knew her so well and knew for a fact that I could never be good enough for her. I would keep her at arms length only to pull her close when I felt compelled to comfort her or take care of her and the next minute I'd hold her away from me again.

I pushed myself off the wall and walked away from the apartment as the song changed; a new Pink song began to echo behind me. I knew that nothing I could say today, even if I knew what to say, would be right. Between hearing her voice and seeing her dressed, or should I say undressed, in that way, dancing in such an fucking alluring way there was no way I could talk to her this morning.

First of all the raging hard on that refused to go away was going to be difficult to explain.

Secondly I was going to need something much better than a few pastries and some fucking Starbucks to even begin to fix this.

And most importantly of all, I couldn't form a solid thought if my life depended on it in that moment. I walked into that apartment thinking that I knew exactly what sexy was only to have every preconception I had ever dreamed of blown out of the water in a nanosecond. I mean she wasn't even wearing a thong or anything lacy or even slightly Victoria Secret like, just plain dark blue cotton bikini cut underwear with a matching cotton bra and yet she was the most fucking unbelievable thing I had ever seen. Bella was the whole fucking package, everything a guy could ever want, and I was the fucktard that kept messing with her head.

I walked out onto the street throwing the flowers, coffee, and pastries into the garbage can at the corner and walked straight toward the hospital. I needed to talk to somebody to get my head on straight and the only two people I could possibly think of would be either Andy or Jasper, at least I knew for sure where to find Andy.

**BPOV**

After my hair was dry, I dressed in a nice pair of pants and a dress shirt figuring that since I was going in on my day off I needed to look professional but didn't have to wear my scrubs. I walked into the living room to turn down the stereo and prepare myself for research for the Lancaster consult later in the day. I was immediately struck with what I could swear was the smell of Edward's cologne and coffee. I closed my eyes and groaned, knowing that I was actually breaking into full blown olfactory hallucination. What's next…thinking I see him around every corner? _Geesh, I'm losing my ever loving mind!!!_

I grabbed my iPod switching gears to some relaxing classical tunes that typically helped me focus on the heavy medical jargon I was about to be wading through and pulling the volume down to a nice background level. I padded over to the bookshelf grabbing the necessary reference books and placing them on the coffee table before grabbing my laptop off the desk in the far corner and getting to work.

Three hours later I had compiled a comprehensive description of the disease in layperson, friendly language and had five pages of websites complete with support groups for Mrs. Lancaster to draw from in her attempts to cope with her son's condition. I also called Carlisle, I mean Dr. Cullen to see if he had any first hand knowledge on the most dependable and capable genetics focused specialists to refer to the Lancasters.

I laughed at my little mental slip hoping that I never make it in a professional setting. The truth of the matter is that it was a bit difficult to refer to Carlisle as Dr. Cullen. Being Edward's uncle, I had known Carlisle ever since I first moved to Chicago and long before I ever entered the medical program or became one of his employees. Carlisle was always a kind and generous man and so supportive of my brother taking me in. I couldn't help but notice how proud he was of Edward for stepping up and helping take responsibility for me.

_Ugh! Why does everything in my life always come back to Edward? _I mentally screamed to myself as I assembled the materials for Mrs. Lancaster and made my way down the street to the hospital. I was going to be over an hour early which was perfect because it would give me a chance to check in with Andy and hang out – maybe even get my nerves under control before I got the page to meet Mrs. Lancaster and Dr. K.

As the elevator doors opened on the floor Andy now occupied, I was most unfortunate to find myself face to face with Maggie, who gave me an evil sneer. I rolled my eyes and stepped past her, doing my best to ignore her snide little comment that she let slip under her breath. I clenched my fists at my sides and continued to walk down the hallway as I felt my fingernails burrowing crescent shaped indentions into my palm.

I walked into Andy's room to see Edward sitting next to him at the head of the bed. The two were locked in a very serious looking quiet discussion. When I walked into the room Edward looked up surprised and then to my utter shock he blushed. After stuttering a hello he pulled the same shitty move he had pulled for the past two weeks and ducked out of the room.

_Good luck buddy, your piece of hospital ass just left a few minutes ago...too bad so sad. _I wanted to yell to his retreating back but stopped myself instead choosing to make my way to the seat Edward had just vacated. Andy looked at me strangely too before he noticed my unease and dropped the weirdness.

Visiting with Andy was just what I needed before going down to face the horrible task ahead of me. He actually managed to make me laugh a few times to my pleasant surprise.

Unfortunately the second my pager began to buzz indicating that Mrs. Lancaster had arrived for our meeting I was right back to being tense and nervous. Andy squeezed my hand reassuringly before I left the room to reveal the bad news to the poor frustrated mother of the sweet little five year old that didn't deserve the burden he was about to receive.

I walked into the lobby to meet Mrs. Lancaster's worried and withdrawn face. She was still bitter toward me for not giving her all of the information over the phone last night. I greeted her and asked her to come with me to conference room two, asking the receptionist to direct Dr. K there before leading Mrs. Lancaster in the proper direction.

To my great relief, we met Dr. K on our way to the room and I introduced her to Mrs. Lancaster before we entered the family conference room. Mrs. Lancaster's hands fidgeted in her lap as she sat nervously across from us. Dr. K looked me in the eye and nodded for me to proceed. She was more or less there for moral support and to ensure that I adequately covered all of the vital information and address any questions Mrs. Lancaster might want a more experienced doctor to answer.

I swallowed hard and cleared my throat before beginning. "Thank you for coming today Mrs. Lancaster. I know you were upset that I didn't give you more information last night, but I wanted time to assemble this packet for you, so that you would have instantaneous access to all the information you might need immediately." I slid the manila enveloped stuffed to capacity across the table in front of her and she reached out to place a shaky hand on top of the packet.

"As I told you before, there are various conditions that can lead to a child this young to have brittle bones that are easily broken. I had sent off for the other tests to eliminate the possibilities, but always had a strong suspicion in the back of my mind that was answered with Ethan's DNA profile. Mrs. Lancaster, have you ever heard of a condition called Osteogenesis Imperfecta?"

She furrowed her brow with a slight nod. "I've heard of it, but I don't know much about it."

"The term Osteogenesis Imperfecta literally means imperfectly formed bone. It is a genetic disorder of type 1 collagen--the protein "scaffolding" of bone and other connective tissues. People with OI have a faulty gene that instructs their bodies to make either too little type 1 collagen or poor quality type 1 collagen. The result is bones that break easily. This condition effects about one in every twenty thousand people and has been known to occasionally occur from time to time in families without any prior history of the condition."

She listened with wide eyes and nodded numbly as if in shock as I continued.

"From the research I have found there are basically four types of OI ranging in severity from very mild having occasional breaks to extremely acute casing breaks while performing simple acts like walking across a room. The fact that Ethan has gone this long without diagnosis and seems to only suffer breaks from accidents indicates that he has a milder form of the condition which is very good news."

She looked at me as tears pooled in her eyes.

"I spent the entire morning compiling this packet for you. Inside I have included all of the best information I could find about the condition, several pages with web addresses for various sites that deal with OI and have support groups for patients and loved ones who suffer from OI. I have also compiled a list of physicians who specialize in clinical genetics and have the most experience with Ethan's particular condition. These physicians are some of the best in the country and were highly recommended by our chief of staff, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. If you want to look over the list, maybe make a few calls to your insurance provider to see if there are any restrictions on which you are allowed to see, I'd be happy to call on your behalf to arrange a consultation."

I observed her face as her eyes darted back and forth across the table top as she struggled to absorb all of the information I had just thrown at her in a short amount of time. My heart ached for her and I struggled to swallow back the tears that threatened to fall. I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to hear that your baby was suffering from a genetic condition that would induce so much pain for the remainder of his lifetime. I imagined too that she was feeling some form of guilt wondering if the faulty gene causing his condition came from her.

"Wh…what will this mean for Ethan?" She asked finally with a shaky voice.

"Well, you will have to speak with someone who specializes in this condition for specific details about Ethan's case, but there are things you can do, treatments he can undergo to help maximize his bone density, activities that he'll need to avoid to minimize risk of injury. His life will be different, but from what I can tell he is lucky to have such a mild case along with a mother who I'm pretty certain will do anything within her power to help him cope."

She smiled at me weakly. "Thank you Dr. Swan. I'm sorry for the way I acted on the phone yesterday. I was upset and frustrated."

I waved her off. "I completely and totally understand Mrs. Lancaster. I would feel the exact same way."

Dr. K looked over at me with a proud expression before reaching her hand forward and placing it on Mrs. Lancaster's hand. "Is there anything else we can do for you at all? Any other questions we can answer?"

"I probably have a million questions, but I assume that you won't have the answers for most. I will go home tonight and go over the information with my husband. We'll call the insurance company and get back with you in a day or two about which physician we choose," she continued looking at me.

I smiled sympathetically. "I also included a sheet in there for you with contact numbers for me, including my personal cell phone number. Please feel free to call me if you have any more questions and go ahead and call that number when you decide who you would like to take Ethan to see and I will personally contact the office if you would like."

"Thank you," she whispered with a tear in her eye as she rose and quietly left the room with the manila envelope clutched tightly in her fist. The second the door closed the tears I had been fighting began to fall. Dr. K leaned over and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You did great Bella. I'm so proud of you. Of all of my interns you have the most compassionate demeanor and bedside manner. That was a difficult consult, but you handled yourself brilliantly."

I sighed a thank you and took a few more minutes to compose myself after Dr K left before emerging from the conference room. I stopped by the locker room to shed my white lab coat and then proceeded directly across the street to Dooley's to drown my sorrows and hopefully find a compassionate shoulder.

I walked in the door to find the place completely dead, not a single one of my boys in sight. I sighed as I realized that they were probably all with Andy, but I didn't want to go up there right now knowing I'd have to deal with Edward. I smiled when I heard a warm sweet voice behind me.

"Now there's my pretty doctor girl! I've missed you and the boys not being around here lately. How's Andy feeling?"

I spun around to find the kind smiling eyes of Mama Dooley. She leaned against the dark cypress bar, her gray hair in a perfect page boy cut with a pair of dress slacks and a nice top. I giggled in spite of myself because Mama D always looked so out of place in here. Mama D was one of the first people I met outside of my boys when I moved to Chicago. She greeted us with a sweet compassionate smile and a tray of cookies the first day we moved in introducing herself as our neighbor. It took me a long time to reconcile the fact that she was the owner of my boys' favorite liquor establishment, but once I became old enough to spend time in this place with them, I finally began to see how she fit. The look wasn't Mama D, but the feeling of the place was definitely her…warm and inviting.

"Hey Mama D! Andy's doing much better. I think they'll probably release him in the next few days. He got very lucky."

"Well you got that right. If you hadn't been here I really don't think that boy would have made it."

"I'm just glad I was here and it didn't take any longer to get over to the ER."

"Once he's released I fully expect the whole lot of you to reclaim your regular table, you hear?" She tooted smiling and poking me in the shoulder with the tip of a wooden spoon that she had stashed behind the bar. It's there to swat the hands of drunken men when they got overly frisky with her waitresses.

I laughed. "I promise Mama D." It was then that my mind drifted to Edward and I wondered what was going to happen to the group dynamic if we were still in avoidance mode with nowhere to escape. Mama D saw my expression and reached behind her to pour me a glass of rum and coke and slid it in front of me.

"I know that look so spill little one!" I sighed and rolled my eyes before taking a big swig of the darkened amber liquid.

"It's just been a bad month Mama. I don't even know where to begin." She listened as I began to recount my month beginning with my favorite patient and his many breaks, going into my ill fated kiss with Edward and subsequent heartache earning a groan from her plump short frame along with an eye roll, and ending with the consultation I had just endured.

She reached her hand across the bar to lay it over mine with a sigh. "Oh my sweet one, you have had a rough month. But don't you worry, it will all work out in the end…these things always do. You and Edward have been dancing back and forth with each other for as long as I've known you two, and no matter what shit he pulls you guys always end up working in out and regaining your friendship in the end. The boy is a lost little puppy for lack of a better analogy. One day he'll grow up, but until then he's going to piss all over the carpet and give you the puppy dog eyes of apology before doing it all over again. It's just how men are, and in particular your Edward."

I couldn't help but laugh at her puppy imagery. Oh how entirely accurate…pissing all over everything and then coming up to me with those sad green eyes full of remorse as he apologizes once again for being a total duckweed and I melt…every freakin' time.

After the laughter faded I found myself thinking about her words and something struck me…she had referred to Edward as 'your Edward'…and I was sickeningly pleased by the terminology. There was a piece of Edward, however small and rarely visible, that only I was ever allowed to see.

That piece of Edward was the piece that kept me caving in to his apologies and craving another one of those delicious kisses. That was the Edward who kissed me. But that piece of Edward was not the whole package, and it was impossible to be with the piece of Edward that I loved without being hurt by the rest of him.

I tipped my head back draining the last of the run and coke enjoying the warm sensation as it traveled down inside my chest behind my sternum and settled in my stomach. Mama D refilled my drink and turned back to me with a glint in her eye.

"You know sweetie, you need to come here some night with your girlfriends. What do I hear the other staffers call you…the Femmes?" She giggled, "I like that name. It's definitely a good description for you and I'm guessing the rest of your team as well."

I rolled my eyes with a sarcastic 'sure' earning a frown and then another look of devious calculation. "You should bring them over some night and get yourself away from those boys. They take real good care of you, but I think you have a slightly skewed view of yourself sweetie. You sit in here and mope with them and are completely oblivious to the looks you get from all the other men in the room because in mere seconds one of your boys notice them looking and scare them off with a well timed grunt, growl, or evil gaze."

I laughed and shook my head in disbelief. Mama smacked her hand over mine on the bar and then grabbed it tightly, looking in my eyes with total seriousness. "I'm serious Bella. Those boys have been the ultimate cockblockers for years now. They do their best to keep you their innocent little sister, but you deserve better than that. They don't see the damage they've caused your self image in their efforts to keep you safe from…well to be honest, from guys like them! You deserve to be happy though and you deserve to see that you are not as plain and boring as you would like to think you are. Just consider it Bella. A girls night out would be good for you."

I smiled at her and nodded before placing a ten on the counter that she pushed back at me refusing to accept. "Mama, let me pay for my drinks."

"NO way sweet cheeks. It was far too good to see your pretty face in here again to let you pay for the privilege."

I rolled my eyes and sighed, planning on finding a way to sneak it into her tip jar the next night I came in. I bundled up and walked out into the crisp autumn air. I walked about half a block as I thought about what Mama D said. I decided a girl's night out might be just the ticket, so I pulled my cell phone out and dialed the first number I thought of.

"Hey Alice, do you have any plans tonight? What do you think of a Femmes night out? Perfect! You call Krista and Sabrina and see if they're free and I'll see if Rose wants to join us, that is, if you guys don't mind. Awesome! Let's all meet at Dooley's at eight. Okay, see you then!"

I snapped my phone closed and smiled as I rushed my way up the street feeling excited to surround myself with some estrogen related fun for once as opposed to all the male testosterone I had grown accustomed to.

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Author's Note: Dirty peeping tom Edward. Tsk Tsk! Okay so since I'm a sucker for inserting songs running in my head in respect to a particular chapter I'm writing and my love for most of Pink's work, I had to include the songs in this chapter. Links to all the mentioned songs will be on my profile if you want to check it out. The FDKK section will be at the very bottom of the bio area.

_**Also the song Stupid Girls is pretty much the theme song for my version of Bella. She's a strong independent woman who is determined to focus on more important things than her looks and garnering the attention of all the little horndogs of the world. Also as she's singing it she's totally ripping on Maggie and the rest of the hussies Edward has been with in her mind. Oh and the music video totally cracks me up. Pink is stinking hilarious!**_

_**And on a very unrelated side note, I totally think find myself thinking that the groom in the Katy Perry video could totally be a pack member. Am I right? I totally see him as a possible older Seth! LOL. If you've read my other stories you would know I'm a big Seth fan, so I couldn't resist mentioning my thought on the matter. **_

_**Thanks to my beta sihaya 9 for her thorough and speedy beta work!**_


	7. Puppet Master J

**Disclaimer: The Twilight Series came from the remarkable mind of Stephenie Meyer, I just borrow her characters and manipulate them like a puppet master forcing them to do my will. Ha,ha,ha! Sorry…I'm running off too little sleep and am a wee bit punchy!**

_**Author's note: I'm warning you now; this isn't the girl's night out chapter that I promised. I had an inspiration and had to go with it. Originally this info was going to be introduced during girl's night, but I think it works better this way. I'm already seven chapters into writing girl's night so I can guarantee you now that it WILL be the next chapter. Hope you enjoy! BTW...I think FF is on crack...that or my computer is. It wouldn't let me bring up the main page or even to connect to story links in my email without a server unavailible error, but it let me use a review reply link to log in and respond to a review and then let me in. LOL...craziness.**_

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6. Puppet Master J

**Jasper POV**

Twelve days ago…twelve days ago the most beautiful creature I had ever encountered sauntered into Andy's hospital room with Bella and a couple of other girls. Bella quickly introduced them as her fellow interns, better known as the Femmes.

First I noticed the tall thin girl with the dishwater blonde hair and nice eyes. She was pretty and I immediately got the impression that she was the most openly sought after girl in the group. She wasn't really my type though. She had a typical model appearance; I preferred to pursue the more unique ladies.

Next to the model look-a-like stood a sweet looking girl about Bella's height with shoulder length brown hair and striking blue eyes hiding behind a pair of dark rimmed glasses. She was pretty, with an hourglass shaped figure, she had some really nice curves in all the right places, but my immediate impression is that she had an extremely low self-image. I suspected she had hot sister syndrome. Typically when a pretty girl doesn't see it, it's because she's been surrounded by someone who is considered more attractive according to the basic stereotypical standards of beauty which leaves the more unique sister to be ignored in the shadow of the one that stood out in the brainwashed minds of the male masses.

In the few seconds after meeting them I made the split second decision that I was going to flirt with the brunette and ignore the blonde giving the brunette a confidence boost and bringing the blonde down a notch or two, but that was before the third girl's face popped out from behind the blonde and I felt my eyes grow wide and for a few seconds. I literally forgot to blink.

During Bella's introductions I learned that the blonde's name was Sabrina, the brunette was Krista, and the beauty that caught my undivided attention was Alice…Alice Brandon…Dr. Alice Brandon. Her name alone made tingles run up my spine. She bounced in front of the other two and I saw that she was adorable and energetic and quite tiny, standing less than five feet tall with black hair that lay flat atop her head and then flipped out in the back in a controlled chaos of perfectly gelled spikes. She had the most incredible eyes I had ever seen, they were this vivid blue almost violet color and her smile was so bright and beautiful that it made the whole room glow.

I sat there in shock, unable to speak, looking like a totally dumb-ass fuck 'cause I just stared. Finally numbly I reached a hand out to grasp hers when she offered a greeting. When our hands touched my heart began to pound in my chest. I grasped her hand harder and just sat there holding it until she made some comment about needing her hand back as she laughed – a beautiful, tinkling laugh.

I finally found my voice after a few seconds and introduced myself causing her to laugh again since Bella evidently had just done that for me. I had not even heard her. I was making a total fool of myself, but at the same time, as long as I was near her I didn't seem to mind.

After the femmes left I sat staring out the window in shock. In all of my twenty-seven years I had never had an experience like that before. I had never been so completely or immediately enamored that I couldn't compose a rational sentence. I was always the smoothest motherfucker in the group. Next to Edward, I was the most hit on guy in the squad and I had the smooth moves to close the deal after I reeled them in too. I was a player and I was happy being such, and then in the matter of a few minutes Alice Brandon changed everything.

I sat there feeling shell shocked when I realized that I had never believed in love at first sight or soul mates. No, I called it all total bullshit made up for the desperately ugly to feel like they might actually have a shot at getting laid someday. I never believed it until it walked in here on short little legs with spiky black hair and violet eyes and hit me over the head like a bag of bricks.

As the days dragged on Andy slowly started showing more and more improvement, I still found myself hanging out in his room every spare minute I could manage in hopes that Alice would drop in to say hi…and to my great joy she did, every single day. After that first day I had sat down and made myself a fucking mental manuscript of things I could say to her, hoping to keep myself from sounding like a mute asshole. It was strained and awkward, but at least I carried on a brief conversation before she ducked out of the room.

The next day she caught me off guard with a dirty joke and I found myself laughing and loosening up thinking that maybe I didn't have to act a certain way around her like I thought. She seemed to think a little more on my wavelength than I had initially anticipated, but that assumption was based solely on her appearance.

The third day we talked the whole time she visited and Andy sat there smirking and rolling his eyes. He commented afterward that she obviously hadn't been there to see him because she had only spoken two words to him the whole time she had been there… "Hi" and "Andy."

The fourth day I asked her if she had time to go get some coffee later in the day and she agreed, but said she'd prefer a good single malt whiskey. If I hadn't already been halfway in love with her, I would have certainly been at this. I took Alice across the street to our favorite place to swill liquor and introduced her to Mama D. She fit right in with Mama D; the three of us sat talking for quite a while. Eventually Mama excused herself, shooting me a thumbs-up behind Alice's back, going bus some tables.

Alice and I moved from the bar to a small booth in the back and sat talking for the next six hours as the bar began to buzz around us. For the first time in the seven years I had been coming to Dooley's, I hadn't noticed a single chick to walk in through the door. All I saw was Alice.

Unfortunately there was one common topic that kept coming up between us during those six hours of heaven in a tiny booth in the back of Dooley's. Edward and Bella. Alice and Bella had become very good friends, well, as good of a friend as Bella managed to make with girls. Bella's comfort zone was with us guys, and we liked having her around, but it had become painfully obvious for quite some time that she needed some female influences in her life again.

Alice was very concerned about Bella, none of us had missed how strangely Edward and Bella were acting around one another, and after the third day Andy finally broke down and told us all about their motherfucking kiss. Avoidance was Edward Masen's middle name. The asswipe would never deal with anything unless he was forced to, and worse yet, Edward's M.O. was to go hide up another chick's skirt, letting the chips fall where they may. That's a successful strategy when you're dealing with a barfly that can't take a hint, but pulling that shit with Bella was going to lead to fucking Armageddon and I knew it. It was all just a matter of time.

By the time we left Dooley's that night Alice and I had exchanged cell phone numbers and made plans to get together again after she got off the next night. And we did. It was amazing actually. I had spent so many years running away from getting involved with a woman thinking that it was too much drama. But with Alice it was easy, it was comfortable, and I found that not only did I not get tired of her, but I missed her when we were at work.

But the most amazing part of all…it's been twelve days and we still haven't fucked…and I'm okay with that. Well it's not that I don't WANT to. God knows I want to ride her three ways from Sunday and make her scream my name all night long, but at the same time I don't want to risk fucking everything up, so I've been patiently sitting back, awaiting for her cue to take things to the next level. Okay so I hint…a lot…but I keep it at that, and I can sense that she appreciates it and she's getting closer every day to caving…or at least I hope.

So all of this leads to yesterday…the day that Bella stalked out of the hospital looking almost as destroyed as she did the day I first met her at her parent's funeral. And then Edward Fucking Masen stands there admitting to us that not only did he avoid Bella by hiding in another chick's skirt, but he did it with the skanky blonde nurse. The one with a high voice and squeaky giggle who had been making goo goo eyes at every one of us ever since Andy landed in this place. As if that wasn't enough, the motherfucker had decided that she was going to be his first fucking relationship ever…and then thinks that it's going to EASE Bella's pain by admitting that he kissed her then avoided her in another chick's skirts, but that it wasn't even a one night stand thing. He went from kissing the girl that he's cluelessly in love with to forcing a relationship with some random skank instead of finally getting involved with the one woman in his life worth his love and adoration. Total fucking clueless asshole!!!

We sent him off with encouragements to give her time then apologize and try to make things right with her, but we all knew that it was quite possible that he fucked things up for good. Bella was the most kind, caring, and forgiving woman to ever walk the face of this earth. Hell she had to be with us around, but Edward…Edward tested her capacity for forgiveness more times than the rest of us combined. We all worried that this may just be the straw that would break the camel's back.

After he left I called Alice and asked her to meet me at Dooley's. I knew that the Femmes all had the next day off, so I asked her to stay past closing with me because I had a bit of a plan. Edward might be a fucking loser and deserve whatever hell he was going through, but Bella didn't. She needed a self-esteem boost and Edward needed a kick in the ass and I had an idea that might accomplish both at the same time. After Mama D locked up for the night, Alice and I helped her clean up. We explained our idea and Mama D jumped at the chance to be part of it.

**BPOV**

After calling Alice and Rose, I made my way back to the apartment with a spring in my step. I was excited to have a night out with the girls. To be honest, I didn't remember the last time I actually did anything with a group of girls. I think the last time wasn't really a group of girls, but was in high school when Edward's Aunt Esme took me clothes shopping to help me find a dress for prom. Wow, had it really been that long? I shook my head at the pathetic state of my life. I knew that it was definitely past time to get out there again.

As soon as I got home I changed out of my professional attire and into a pair of faded relaxed fit jeans with a tear in the knee and frayed ankles, a black tank top and Emmett's old baseball jersey from high school over it. I always loved going out wearing nice comfortable clothes. It felt kind of sexy wearing a guy's shirt; it would be more so if it weren't my brother's but nobody else really knew who it belonged to. I collapsed on the couch with a beer waiting around rather impatiently for the evening to commence as Emmett came and then left again, promising to see me later before disappearing into the evening.

I looked at the clock at 6:45 and groaned at how much longer I was going to have to waste time and flipped on the TV moments before there was a knock at the door. I opened it to find Alice and Jasper smiling at me from the hallway. They both looked me from head to toe as a look of disgust mixed with horror graced Alice's face while a knowing smirk flitted across Jasper's.

"Oh Jazzy, I am so glad you suggested this. You are right; this girl does not know how to dress for a proper girl's night!" Alice blurted over her shoulder while pushing past me into the apartment, a garment bag slung over her shoulder. Jasper followed carrying a heavy looking duffel bag that he dropped on the couch with a loud thud.

"Okay ladies, this is where I leave you," he drawled with a wink in my direction before he sidled over to Alice placing an adorable kiss on her lips and hugging her around the waist sweetly whispering in her ear. This time it was my turn to have a knowing little smirk.

He looked up, meeting my eyes and sighed before shrugging, obviously admitting defeat to the forces of love. Then he left me alone with the overly hyper pixie that began dragging me to my bathroom. She sat me on the toilet where she spent the next hour slathering me with makeup and tugging on my hair before forcing me into a short dress and a pair of four inch high heels.

I stood staring at my reflection in the mirror and gulped in surprise that the person looking back was me. I had gotten so out of touch with my feminine side over the years that I had pretty much forgotten what I looked like all dressed up and in makeup. I used to make myself up all of the time when Mom and Dad were alive, but when they died and I moved to Chicago, I just didn't have the ambition or the encouragement to try. The only time in all the years since that I actually wore makeup was for my high school prom when Esme came over. She helped me pin my hair into a French twist and applied my makeup.

I stepped back and spun around so I could see what I looked like from all angles. I had to admit, the pixie was good. The heels that had the potential to be death traps had very thick straps and squared heels that gave me lots of surface area to distribute my weight and the dress, while on the shorter side, still came just below mid thigh and was surprisingly modest. It was made of black chiffon like material with a cinched waist and accentuated my chest with thin straps that had light chiffon ruffle like cap sleeves attached. It was sexy and made my legs appear a lot longer than they really were. She had slid a silver heart necklace around my neck and left my hair down in long loose waves that hit about halfway down my back.

I hadn't even realized she was watching me in the doorway until I heard her squeal and start clapping. I looked over to see her jumping up and down in her four-inch stilettos. I was just waiting for them to snap off, but they never did. She squealed something about needing to get going or we would be late meeting the girls. She grabbed my hand, pulling me out the front door and down the street toward Dooley's.

**EPOV**

I felt simultaneously provoked and alienated from Bella today. After I left her apartment I went straight to Andy's room. He was asleep so I settled in the recliner by the window and waited impatiently, my thoughts zooming a million miles a minute, for him to wake up to talk. It was about an hour after I arrived that he finally woke up.

I sat with him and chit chatted while he ate lunch. I wanted to bring up the conversation and yet had no fucking clue what to say. Finally to my relief Andy decided to break the suspense for me.

"Okay fucktard, what did you do now that has you looking so completely desperate?"

I told him about everything that had happened after leaving his room that night and what I witnessed in Bella's apartment.

"Jesus, I'm going to have to start calling you Stalkward! That's some sick shit there! Dude, you are so lucky she didn't catch you or you would so be a eunuch right now!"

I ran my hands through my hair, "Fuck man, tell me something I don't know why don't ya? I have no fucking clue what to do or where to go from here. It used to be so easy with her. When did things get so fucking screwed up?"

"Oh would you stop shitting yourself? It was never easy with you two. You've been in fucking love with her ever since you first saw her at the funeral but you're too emotionally closed off to recognize it for what it is. Not only that, you've already made up your mind that she's some sort of angel and that you're the devil and if you let yourself be with her then you're going to destroy her or something. I've got to tell you though man, you hurt her a lot more by pulling away from her all the time than you would if you would just go and fucking be with her already."

"Andy, you've got it all wrong. I don't love Bella, not like that at least. I like my life. I don't want to be tied down in a relationship. Being in a relationship means that eventually, one way or another, you're going to be left alone and broken when it ends for whatever reason. It always ends, either you grow apart, someone cheats or someone dies, but no matter what, it always ends with someone left alone and shattered. Why do that when you can just fuck around and have fun?"

"Dude, you're even more fucked up that I thought you were. You can't run away from life forever Edward. Yeah, you can keep living your pathetic player existence, never letting yourself be really connected with someone in order to save yourself from the pain of loss, but in the meantime you really haven't lived either. Instead of setting yourself up for a future loss, you live your whole life that way."

He leaned forward and lowered his voice with an intense look on his face, "Listen, I know your life went to shit when your Dad died and your Mom fucking lost it and ran off leaving you with Carlisle and Esme. I know it left you with the impression that it hurts too much to love someone so you made up your mind that you wouldn't end up that way. You built those fucking stone walls that you never let anybody past, but I'm telling you dude, someday you're going to look up and find you're a fucking fifty year old playboy who is alone and has nothing to show for his life. You will end up with nobody to spend your time with because the hotties won't be jonesin' after your ass once you pass your prime. You will just be a pathetic bachelor with nothing but his booze, his cars, and maybe if you're lucky a dog."

I sat staring at him. I could hear his words and I knew they were true, but I didn't know what to do about it. I spent seventeen fucking years building my fortress to keep myself safe from the pain I watched my mother endure. She lived her whole life for my father and when she died it was like she had nothing to live for anymore…I sure as fuck wasn't enough. She couldn't take it and instead of picking herself up and trying to move on she buried herself in a bottle of Jack Daniels for two months before finally dropping me off at her sister's house without any note or explanation. She just left me with their maid and disappeared.

We didn't hear a peep out of her for three years. Then one day she suddenly showed back up on the doorstep with a new husband who looked like he would go up in a ball of flame if you put a match near him thanks to all of the alcohol in his system. It didn't take too very long to put two and two together. She had left with the entire insurance settlement which was something on the order of half a million dollars and lived high on the hog for three years before finding herself flat broke. So she came back hoping that if she regained custody of me then she would have access to my trust fund. Thankfully Carlisle and Esme had enough foresight to have filed the paperwork for parental abandonment and had become my legal guardians by then. She left without a penny to her name and I have never seen her since.

From time to time I wonder if she's still out there somewhere. It hurts to know that she's still alive somewhere and didn't even bother to find out if I was okay or how I turned out. I didn't fucking care though…not really. Carlisle and Esme were good guardians, very loving and caring. They made sure I went to the finest schools and had everything that money could buy. They were the best replacement parents a kid could hope for…and then I met my 'brothers' in college, and then later my 'sister' and I finally felt complete. As long as I had them I didn't need anything else, and love, well love was far too dangerous to ever let into my life.

"Listen Andy, I know you mean well, but seriously. You are so far off base with all of this love shit with Bella. You don't even know. She's like a sister to me. That's it."

"Yeah Edward, because everyone goes and tries to French their sister when they're upset. Totally natural response to stress." I rolled my eyes at his sarcastic remarks.

I opened my mouth to answer back when I felt a tingle roll up my spine and I looked up to see Bella standing in the doorway looking strangely at Andy and I. I immediately noticed how nice the silky plum colored blouse looked against the blush of her face for a second before the image of her dancing in the blue cotton bra and panties flooded my mind and I felt myself start to grow hard. I felt my cheeks warm at the memory and my body's instant reaction before I managed to find my voice and stutter a quick greeting before telling Andy I would see him later and running out of the door. As I brushed past her, the smooth skin of her arm met mine and I sucked in a breath that assaulted my senses; ah the strawberry scent of her shampoo and the freesia essence of the body wash I got her at Bath and Body Works last Christmas.

I felt my body react again even more strongly as I ran down the hallway and straight to the bathroom where I stood leaning against the sink and staring at my reflection in the mirror. _Smooth you asshole, really smooth. You're really going to get her to talk to you and make things up to her by running away from her like a fucking pussy. What the fuck is up with my body's reactions to her too? Fuck, I wish someone would just shoot me now and put me out of my misery!_

I stayed in the bathroom for twenty minutes before walking back toward Andy's room. I paused outside the door to hear that they were still talking, so I continued on to the waiting room. I tucked myself in the corner so I could watch Bella leave on the elevators without her seeing me and then I could go back to Andy's room.

I guess the lack of sleep over the past few days was catching up to me, because I woke up four hours later to find I was leaning against the wall in the waiting area.

I was shocked when I walked into Andy's hospital room to find the guys all discussing going to Dooley's. It had been over two weeks since the last time we had all gathered there, opting instead to come spend time with Andy, but Andy insisted that we needed to go unwind and I couldn't disagree. I really needed to have a nice stiff drink and try to get my mind off of this mess with Bella. After a short discussion we left promising Andy we'd drink one for him and would take him out as soon as he was up for it before walking across the street into our very crowded favorite watering hole.

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Author's Note: Sorry, I know I said that the next chapter would be Femme's night out, but when I started to write it I realized that I wanted to go about a few things differently by introducing Jasper and Alice's relationship and I wanted to set the scene a bit more first, but now when I post the next chapter everyone will be at the bar and the real drama will ensue!

_**Thank you all so much for your hits, favorites, and reviews! I seriously have been on the amazed at the response this story has gotten. Friday it got 1,950 hits and as of Saturday morning there are 107 alerts. I'm just amazed, dumbfounded, and on the verge of either tears or a happy dance…I'm not sure which. All of your reviews and encouragement mean more than you know and they inspire me to write that much more quickly. So thank you, thank you, thank you for everything. **_

_**And also a special thank you to my beta Sihaya9 for her diligent work in editing my overly wordy verbiage and getting these chapters back to me as quickly as she can so you all can read the newest update as soon as humanly possible!**_


	8. Femmes Night Out

_**Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, and all of the songs represented in this story are the property of their respective owners and record companies. Links to the songs will be posted on my profile.**_

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7. Femmes Night Out

**JPOV**

We had been sitting at our recently reclaimed table for about twenty minutes when I received the text from Alice warning me that the girls were outside waiting for Rose. In any second they'd be come in and Alice bragged that Bella was looking "hot with a double T". I couldn't help but chuckle before responding my thanks for the heads up and returning my attention to the conversations at hand.

I was relieved to see the Edward and Emmett were in a heated debate and would not notice when the girls entered while Mike and Tyler were in their typical mode of drooling at every pair of legs in the room and occasionally shouting out the rating and location of a female that they found particularly appealing.

I tried to suppress my smile and not show my hand as I solidified my ultimate plan to utilize Mike and Tyler to serve my purpose in getting everyone in one place at the same time tonight.

I watched the ladies walk in all smiles and giggles and I couldn't help my reaction to Bella's new look. Alice wasn't exaggerating…Bella looked amazing and it wasn't going to take long for the vultures to start circling.

Alice looked over with a big beaming smile and a wink, which I returned from behind my beer before pretending to take a big swig. Bella glanced over and I saw her smile falter for a moment but she quickly recovered and rejoined the conversation. In no time Alice grabbed her hand and led the group out on the floor where they danced together while Alice manipulated their positions so that Bella's back was to our table.

Recognizing my window of opportunity I leaned over to Newton mentioning the group of girls on the floor and pointing out Bella's legs. That was all it took; I knew it would be easy. Newton was about as smooth as a prickly pear and only marginally more intelligent. It took less than twenty seconds before Mike's hand slammed on the table and I heard his voice above the music.

"Hey Edward, Emmett, I think we have the winner for the night. I don't think it's going to get any better than the brunette in the black dress with the mile long legs and perky rack at nine o'clock! MmmMmmMmm, I'd love to shove her against the bathroom wall and show her what a real man is made of."

Edward and Emmett looked up from their discussion, more to humor Mike so he'd shut up than anything and they both froze. Edward's eyes grew to the size of fucking dinner plates as his mouth dropped open and I could no longer hide the smirk. On cue and in perfect unison both guys gasped "Ho-LY Shit!" And with that the games had begun.

**EPOV**

I was in a heated debate with Emmett about which teams were going to make it to the Super Bowl this year when I heard Mike bang his hand on the table and make some over excited comment about a brunette who was the winner of his inane hottest girl of the night game. Every night we went out he would rate all of the girls in the building and declare a winner at the end of the night, so I was surprised when he was naming a winner at eight o'clock.

Curious about the absolute babe that would be worthy of gaining the title so early in the evening I looked up and froze as I saw the most beautiful angel in the world dancing on the floor with a group of girls wearing a sexy thin black dress and tall black heels. She rocked her hips back and forth to the beat as her hair moved in tandem behind her and instantly I was transported back to this morning when I watched this same beauty dancing in her underwear as she dried her hair. BELLA! "Ho-LY Shit!"

It was right about this time that she turned and looked toward our table again with a big bright smile that disappeared the moment she locked eyes with me. She stared at me with a wide-eyed expression before dropping her gaze to the floor with as a deep blush rushed across her face. She shot a quick look up at me through her lashes and she smirked making my dick jerk in my pants in reaction. Holy fucking shit…this morning my idea of sexy had been obliterated and replaced by cotton underwear and then just now that smirk replaced every cum face I had ever seen. The look was the hottest expression ever to possess a female face. I was so completely and totally fucked and I couldn't take my eyes away from the angel that continued to sway in front of me.

I saw Bella lean forward and say something to the group of girls who I finally recognized as the rest of the Femmes and Rose. How had I missed that before? I didn't even notice the rest of the girls or anyone else in the room for that matter. Just then they all turned to look our way and I realized I was still staring, with my mouth open. I don't think I actually blinked since I looked up and saw her. The girls all giggled and waved a little, earning a smile and wave for Rosalie from Emmett and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper blow a fucking kiss at them! What the fuck?

**BPOV**

I was freezing as we stood in front of Dooley's waiting for Rose. Alice insisted that we not wear our coats so that we could dance all night without having to juggle and worry about them. I reluctantly agreed, but if I had realized she was going to make me stand outside in the autumn night air waiting on the always late Rose, I would have dealt with the coat inconvenience just to keep from contracting pneumonia!

I tried to convince her that we should wait inside, but she flipped out saying something about making an entrance as a group to draw the attention of the single hotties. I scoffed informing her that I had no desire to pick up a 'hottie' tonight. I just wanted a night to hang out with the girls. She rolled her eyes pulled out her phone; I could only assume she was texting Rose. A few minutes later a cab pulled up in front of us and Rose stepped out looking absolutely stunning, as usual. Normally Sabrina was the most noticed girl in our little group, but Rose's presence was going to skew the balance a bit.

"What the hell are you bitches doing standing out here freezing?" She asked with a big smile at Alice.

"Waiting for the resident Amazon, that's what! Why is it that you are always late? I swear you will be late for your own wedding," I answered with a teasing smirk.

She laughed and shook her head before stopping to look me up and down. "Holy shit Bella…they actually got you into a dress and heels? You look damn hot girl!"

I rolled my eyes and suggested we go inside before our appendages start falling off from frostbite. We walked in, immediately earning smiles from Mama D and several of the greasy looking guys at the bar. All male eyes surveyed the group lingering on Rose and then Sabrina with much sorter glances at Krista, Alice and me, but appreciative nonetheless.

I scanned the room looking to see if I knew anybody else here tonight when my eyes fell on my regular table to see my boys. Jasper smiled up at us with a smug smirk before I shifted my gaze to see Emmett and Edward in a heated discussion. I couldn't help but feel my mood drop about ten points. Is it really too much to ask for one night away from the drama that is Edward?

I turned my back on the scene to see Alice looking over at Jasper with a wide goofy grin on her face and I chuckled at how cute they were. "You can go over there and grab him for a dance you know. We would understand," I whisper yelled to her over the noise.

"No way! This is girl's night and girl's night is sacred…no boyfriends allowed."

I smiled and gave her a knowing eyebrow waggle, "Boyfriend? So it's official? He's really your boyfriend now?"

She sighed, "I guess. I mean do you have to have an official proclamation that you're together? We've been together every night this week, we constantly call and text. He's been a perfect gentleman and hasn't even tried to get me into bed."

My mouth fell open and I stared at her in awe for a moment. "Jasper? Jasper Whitlock? The insanely handsome blonde man sitting with my brother over there sipping on an Amstel? Are you sure that's the man you're seeing because it really doesn't sound like we're talking about the same man!"

She laughed, "Yes silly, and don't worry he's hinted plenty but when we talked about it he said that he doesn't want to rush things or ruin what we have going so he's letting me set the pace. He's really sweet you know."

I looked back over my shoulder and smiled as Jasper threw his head back and laughed at something one of the boys had said. I was proud of Jasper. It was about freakin' time my boys started growing up a bit…first Emmett, now Jasper…I was pleased.

"Now come on, we came here to have fun…let's go shake our groove thang on the dance floor," Alice chirped, as she grabbed my hand and dragged me behind her to join the throngs of people on the floor grinding to _Paralyzer_.

At first I felt a bit stiff and awkward trying to dance in the short dress and high heels. It was one thing to cut loose in my bathroom while I was drying my hair where I could do whatever I want, not worrying about making a fool of myself, but it was quite another to do it in uncomfortable clothes in front of a room full of witnesses. After a few minutes though I began to just enjoy the company and not worry what anybody else thought. I was having fun; we were all laughing and shifting around doing our best sexy hip shimmies when Alice started laughing. I looked up at her in question and she pointed behind me.

I slowly turned to see both Edward and Emmett staring at me and looking like someone just punched them in the gut. Emmett's face finally softened into a small smile and a wink. Edward, however, just continued to stare at me with huge eyes and his mouth looking like it was left unhinged. I glanced away in embarrassment feeling; my cheeks warm with the emotion as I thought of the look on his face. Behind the shock, his eyes were filled with something a bit more intense; there was also what appeared to be, well, desire. I looked back up to see that he had finally managed to close his mouth, but his eyes were smoldering and I couldn't help but smirk at the implication. I saw him squirm a bit in his seat before I turned back to the girls.

"So, Edward seems to appreciate the new look," Rose yelled above the pounding beat.

"What?" Sabrina and Krista asked, having been completely unaware of anything going on up to this point as they were thoroughly distracted by a table holding three very attractive guys on the other side of the dance floor.

I leaned forward and explained what happened pointing behind me to the table that held my still slightly shell-shocked brother and friends, all the girls laughed. We continued to dance together while the music changed from one dance beat to another. It was fun being with the girls; after a while I no longer worried if I looked foolish because we would all do cheesy moves together or sing along to the lyrics of a song.

Eventually the music morphed again to the Pussycat Dolls song _Don't Cha_. I never really liked the song, but Rose and Alice squealed in delight, breaking out some really sexy grinding action on one another, I stood there in shock. They laughed and pulled me between them; I stood stiff as a board. Rosalie was behind me and Alice was in front of me as Rose yelled into my ear. "Trust us Bella, you want to get to Edward, just loosen up and trust us."

I was way too straight laced to fall into grinding with two girls so easily. Rose groaned, grabbing my hips in her hands and forcing me into the right rhythm as Alice pulled my arms over her shoulders helping me to loosen my upper body a bit. When I finally got the hang of it I chanced a glance over to the table to see that every single one of my boys were watching us in shock and amazement, occasionally shifting in their seats uncomfortably.

Only after I had fully evaluated the situation at our normal table did I look at some of the others around us to see that not only were my boys watching with rapt attention, but it seemed every other male in the room was too. Suddenly my bashful nature returned and I felt my face growing warm with my ever-increasing blush.

I was relieved when an instant later I felt Rose disappear from behind me as my brother stole her for some one on one dancing. A few seconds later I saw Jasper step in front of Alice and she let go of my hands, I stepped back allowing them to grind together without a third wheel.

I was suddenly feeling a bit out in the open being left without a partner when I felt warmth behind me. I spun with a glare already emblazoned on my face to find myself face to face with a rather burly looking drunken man with a shaved head. He looked down at me with lidded eyes; his large hands reached out to grab my hips roughly and began to massage them invasively. He whispered suggestively at me and then I felt his right hand slide down to cup my ass cheek.

I didn't even stop to think about the fact that the guy was nearly as big as Emmett and could probably snap me in half if he wanted. My instincts took over with a defensive reaction. I reached behind me to grab one of his offensive paws, bending his middle finger back so that it nearly touched is wrist causing him to jerk away. I quickly reached my other hand over to grab the pressure point in the wrist of his left hand and buried my thumb there causing him to scream momentarily before collapsing to his knees in pain.

I snarled through gritted teeth, "I don't believe I gave you permission to put your hands on me, much less feel me up. I highly suggest you leave me alone and don't go trying that again."

I let go giving him a slight push with my hand. He turned retreating to the bar murmuring something about me being a fucking bitch and most likely a dyke as he left.

I heard the cheers of my gal pals behind me and turned to see that Edward was now standing less than a foot behind me. He, along with Jasper and Emmett were all glaring toward the end of the bar where Mr. Grabbyhands was still cradling his hand and bitching to his friends. I moved to position myself between the three of them and their target, clearing my throat with my fists on my hips as I glared up at them.

"I took care of it boys, now just leave it be. Do not, I repeat, do not go kicking his ass and getting yourselves in trouble…well not unless you see him pulling that shit on another innocent girl, Then by all means, turn his face into hamburger meat."

Jasper and Emmett looked down at me with wide admiring smiles, obviously proud of how I handled the situation. Emmett piped up from where he stood with Rose still tucked in his arms, "Now that's how you handle the barflies baby sister. I'm proud of you. I don't remember teaching you that move though…where did you learn it?"

"Med school big brother, med school…nobody's immune to pressure points, no matter how big or strong they are." I let my gaze shift quickly over to Edward who still looked upset, but at least he let his posture settle a bit before I looked back over to Emmett and winked.

Emmett and Jasper returned their attention to grinding on their lady loves when the music changed again; I looked over to see that Sabrina and Krista were each dancing with a boy from the table that they had been flirting with earlier. So much for girl's night being sacred, I was once again the one left alone. I turned to go to the bar for a drink when I felt a warm hand on my arm.

"Bella, are you okay?" My breath caught in my chest as the liquid velvet voice full of remorse and hope sent chills down my back.

I turned to meet his concerned green eyes. I felt a surge of annoyance mixed with sadness. "Yes Edward, I'm fine, thanks."

"W-Will you dance with me?" he asked holding his hand out questioningly.

"Edward, I'm sorry but I…I don't want to do this tonight. I'm here to have fun with my girlfriends. I need a break from the drama. Thank you for checking to make sure I'm okay and being willing to step up to help me, but we're going to need to really sit down and talk about all of this stuff and I just don't want to do that right now…okay?"

He looked down, the disappointment obvious on his face; he nodded, apologized before tucking his tail between his legs and walking back to the table to rejoin Mike and Tyler.

"I'm proud of you kiddo," Jasper said from behind me on the dance floor. I looked over to see that both he and Alice were watching with small smiles. "Make the motherfucker work for it for once!"

I chuckled before making my way to the bar to grab a drink and then returned to the other side of the room where my friends had taken a seat at the table with Sabrina and Krista's new friends. Jasper and Emmett were back at our regular table with the other three boys. I slid into the open seat and took a long swill of my strongly mixed drink. It paid to be pals with the owner!

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Chris, Dan, and Trevor. Guys this is our other friend Bella," Sabrina said when I was settled. I smiled and said hi to the guys before me. Sabrina was always good at finding a hot group of guys to spend time with in social settings and this time was no exception.

Chris was a tall thin man with sandy blonde hair and gray eyes. He was already situated next to Sabrina, arm draped casually behind her chair marking his territory for the evening. She seemed pleased with the situation, yet I couldn't help but notice that she would cast an occasional annoyed glance over at Trevor who was actually quite adeptly managing to ignore all of the girls.

Dan was shorter with dark hair, blue eyes and a really cute set of dimpled cheeks. He seemed a bit shyer than Chris and sat quietly to himself casting furtive glances at Krista ,who also being shy, would toss occasional glances his way followed by a blush. I found it funny that she had managed to dance with him earlier and still be so awkward with him now…but that was Krista. She didn't have much faith in herself when it came to guys. She was pretty, sweet, and funny with a love of all things sports and NASCAR…basically she was a guy's wet dream and yet she never believed that she had much to offer a guy.

Finally there was Trevor, ah Trevor…the epitome of tall, dark and handsome with a strong angular jaw, dark mysterious eyes and hair so deep and dark it was almost black. I couldn't say for sure, but I would have guessed him to be somewhere around thirty. I couldn't help but notice the frequent looks he got from not only Sabrina, but most of the other females at the surrounding tables. He was definitely this group's version of Edward, so I was glad to be ignored, not wanting to travel down that road again.

I took another long sip of my rum and coke and tried to settle my nerves after the whole Mr. Grabbyhands and the subsequent Edward encounter. I found myself taken aback when Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome himself leaned over and asked me a question.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," I replied sucking in a breath when I realized how close he was to me.

"I said that was an excellent display of using pressure points in self defense. Where did you learn to do that?" His voice was smooth and masculine and very sexy. He had an amused look on is face that made his mouth twist up in a very appealing smirk that slid all the way up to his eyes. I fought the instinct to roll my eyes at another Edward type encroaching on my night.

Not knowing this very attractive and most likely very smooth gentleman well, I decided to play the brother card to keep him honest. "Well, most of my self defense techniques I learned from my brother and his friends. They're cops so they taught me a thing or two." Okay, so I didn't give ALL of the details about what kind of cops they are. I mean, I didn't need to be cockblocking myself if he ended up being worth my time after all. I also didn't know if I really wanted this guy to know too much about me in case he turned out to be some kind of strange stalker or something.

I was pleased to see that his reaction to the news about my brother wasn't a negative one. He raised his eyebrows looking a tad impressed. "I think it's incredibly sexy to see a woman capable of defending herself. So many women get this idea that men want their women to be weak and incapable so they can save the damsel in distress. There probably are a lot that do, but I find independent women far more interesting."

I could feel the heat invading my face to hear this handsome man refer to me, however indirectly, as sexy. I dropped my eyes to the table for a moment to collect myself before looking up to smile at him through my lashes, earning a wide smile back.

Shortly after our brief conversation the girls grabbed my hand pulling me up to dance again when Pink's _U and UR Hand_ began to pump through the loud sound system. We laughed and shook our hips as we sang along with the girl's night anthem. Even though we weren't totally opposed to maybe walking home with a number or two if we could find someone decent to talk to, we definitely didn't want the type of guys in the song to bother us.

As the girls and I stood together singing along with the powerful girl rock lyrics, I couldn't help but feel a swelling of joy in my chest in spite of everything I had been going through lately. This was definitely something I had been missing in the last seven years. Even though I hadn't known them all that long, we had bonded in the trenches of the hospital and in our relationships with my boys. I could feel us becoming a bit of a sisterhood and I couldn't be happier. I felt the wide smile on my face throwing my head back in laughter at Rosalie getting a little over enthusiastic with her gestures to the lyrics.

When the song ended the music morphed into a song I didn't care for and my feet were in dire need of a rest. They were definitely not accustomed to being in heels at all, much less dancing for hours on end. I slid back into my seat wishing I had thought to get another drink before I sat down. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind, a fresh rum and coke slid in front of me as Trevor settled into the seat next to me.

"After that kind of dancing I figured you might want a drink to cool off. It was a rum and coke right?"

I smiled up at him with a nod wondering for a minute if I should trust the drink in my hand. I did after all just meet this guy less than ten minutes ago. After considering that I was surrounded by my friends and boys who were most likely watching like hawks from their table across the room, I figured my back was covered. I took a long drink, relishing the feel of cool liquid in my mouth that turned warm as it traveled down my esophagus to my stomach.

"So, tell me a little more about yourself Bella." Trevor smiled from his seat next to me leaning closer in interest.

"Oh, I don't want to talk about myself all night. I'm boring." I answered with an exaggerated eye roll. Trevor chuckled.

"Okay, make a deal with you, if you share one thing about yourself then I'll share something about myself. Tit for Tat. How does that sound?"

I took another sip watching him with wary eyes before sitting down my drink and agreeing. "You first," he said with a wave of his hand toward me.

"Hmmm, well I actually grew up downstate, about three hours from here."

His eyebrows shot up. "No kidding? I just moved here from Springfield. Where did you live?"

My eyes grew wide as I turned towards him engaging him more actively in the conversation now. "Seriously? Wow, I grew up in Lincoln."

He smiled knowingly and thus began our back and forth comparing experiences and discussing people that we knew from our respective hometowns. We finally decided that we had at least one set of friends in common, commenting on what small world it was.

After about thirty minutes of chatting the girls were getting antsy for me to dance again, so I excused myself from Trevor and joined them on the floor.

"So…" Rose began as she and Alice crowded on either side of me as we danced to the Nine Inch Nails song _Only_, "What's going on with you and Mr. Hottie? You two were looking pretty cozy there."

I blushed and looked down to which they squealed. "Stop guys, I don't really know. I mean we've just been talking. He recently moved here from Springfield which is only about thirty miles away from where I grew up, and we just seemed to have a lot in common."

"Well I can say one thing," Alice chimed from next to me, "He definitely seems to find you interesting. He hasn't taken his eyes off of you since Krista and Sabrina first started talking to his friends right after we got here." I blushed again and she giggled.

"And an added bonus," Rosalie laughed from next to me, "it's driving Edward in-fucking-sane!"

I looked up at her in surprise. "Why?"

Rose scoffed, "Because he's starting to take his head out of his ass, enough to realize that you're more than just his friend or little sister, figures he does so just in time for you to finally get the attention you deserve from a spectacular example of the male species!"

I rolled my eyes, "I wish you would stop with the whole Edward having feelings for me stuff. I don't believe it for a minute. He's just a horndog who can't keep his pants on and he simply forgot who he was with. He truly only thinks of me like a sister."

Rosalie was laughing out loud then, "Yeah, if he thinks of you as a sister then the boy has major issues with inbreeding. He's had a chubby all night watching you dance."

My mouth fell open as I smacked her on the arm. "Rosalie Lillian Hale! Stop that, he has not!"

"Um Bella?" Alice chirped from next to me with a big goofy grin, "that boy's been sporting wood ever since he first caught sight of you dancing. You haven't noticed the way he keeps fidgeting in his seat?"

I stared at her with wide eyes. "No, I've been doing my best to ignore him altogether so I can actually enjoy my night out. Are you serious? No way!"

"Isabella Marie Swan…have you even bothered to look at yourself in the mirror? You look so sexy it's not a wonder that we don't have to chase them off with bats tonight!"

I snorted in a very unladylike fashion. "Please Rose…you and Sab are the show stopping beauties of this group. I'm nowhere near being capable of drawing that kind of attention and you know it!"

Rose just sighed in defeat; Alice rolled her eyes. The song changed as our conversation came to an end and Rhianna's _Disturbia _began to play when I felt a warm presence behind me. I turned with a glare already in place, ready to fend off another Mr. Grabbyhands, only to find a smiling Trevor standing with his hands securely grasped behind his back.

"May I have this dance Miss Swan?" he asked holding a single hand out for me to take. I blushed before smiling and reached out to take it. He stepped a bit closer and placed his hands respectfully on my waist. I placed mine on his shoulders and we began to dance to the rhythm with several inches separating us.

I hadn't really noticed before this moment, but Trevor smelled amazing. I immediately recognized the Hugo cologne, which has always been one of my favorites, but it was mixed with the smell of his masculine shampoo and another scent that I couldn't quite place. I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensation of being so close to a male who wasn't one of my boys. It had been two years since I had even been relatively close to someone outside of our circle of friends.

By the end of the song we had managed to close some of the space, but were still not grinding on one another, I was pleased with his respectfulness. At one point in our song I happened to glance over at my boys' table to see all of them glaring in our direction…but Edward's expression was the most vehement of them all. I shot a warning look at each face before trying to ignore them once more.

Trevor and I continued to dance as the song changed once more. I didn't recognize the tune, but to be honest, I didn't really care. I didn't move to break the dance and neither did Trevor so we continued to dance slowly moving closer and closer until there was an infinitesimal amount of space left between our bodies. I was finally getting my nerve up to close the last of the space when Trevor jumped and apologized before pulling a Blackberry out of his pocket, cursing at the screen.

"I've had a really great time getting to know you tonight, but this is work, I really have to go. I'm on call tonight and it appears that they need me."

I was a bit shocked, but I definitely understood having a job that demanded you at all hours. I smiled and nodded thanking him for the nice evening.

He turned to me with a smile. "I had a really nice time and, well, if you're game I'd really like to see you again. Would you be willing to trade numbers?"

I smiled wide and felt myself nibble at my lip in my excitement. I nodded, "That would be great actually. Give me your cell phone; I'll put it in for you."

He smiled, handing it over while asking if I had mine with me. I reached into the small purse that Alice had crammed my money, id, and phone into before we left the apartment and handed it to him. We took a moment to type in our names and numbers before he grabbed his jacket off of the back of his chair and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before rushing out into the cool October night.

Immediately all four girls were crowded around me asking for details. They all squealed and jumped up and down clapping as I told them about his smell and how respectful he had been and how he said he wanted to get together sometime and even traded numbers. Then Alice asked me what his job was that called him out in the middle of the night, but I couldn't answer her. I actually had forgotten all about work. Come to think of it, neither one of us had mentioned it.

We continued to drink and dance, occasionally being joined by one or more of my boys as the time inched past midnight. The combination of my long, taxing day the exertion of dancing and the effects of the alcohol, I was starting to get really tired and slightly wobbly on my feet. I stumbled for the fourth time during Kid Rock's _All Summer Long_ when I felt a warm pair of hands on my waist steadying me. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was the tingle in my body and the smell of his cologne mixed with beer told me all I needed to know.

Before I could turn around to face him I felt his hands slide around my waist as he pulled me close and leaned down so that his lips were at my ear causing his breath to caress my face when he spoke sending goose bumps down my arms.

"You look stunning tonight Bella. Every guy in this room was drooling over you, but none of them are good enough for you Bella. You deserve the best and you're not going to find that in a bar in downtown Chicago."

His words angered me and I ripped his arms from my waist. I spun immediately to face him, pulling myself off balance in the process and fell forward against his chest. He grabbed my arms and pulled me quickly away but not before I felt what Alice and Rose were telling me earlier. Edward was definitely flying at full staff, that didn't necessarily have anything at all to do with me. I mean, this is Slutward, who knew what sets the boy off!

After I regained my equilibrium I looked up to glare into his green eyes. I was surprised to find that they didn't have the glassy look he usually got when he indulged in alcohol…he was doing this stone cold sober.

"What the hell Edward! Who are you to decide who is or is not good enough for me to date? The last time I looked I'm fully-grown and capable of making my own decisions as to the company I keep. Besides what the fuck does it matter to you? You don't want me so why can't somebody else have me?"

Edward's eyes narrowed and his lips tightened into a thin line. "Fine, go get your fucking heart broken by that player and see if I care. Trust me Bella, I can spot a smooth operator ten miles away and that guy is a total fucking sleaze. Don't let him play you Bella."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Well, I guess it takes one to know one then huh Masen? Who are you to pass judgment on someone you haven't even spoken to? You are like the king of the players, but that didn't stop you from kissing me and then fucking ignoring me for two weeks before getting caught banging a slutty nurse in the doctor's lounge."

"I wasn't banging her. I'd been seeing her for over a week and that was the first time we had done anything but kiss."

I froze as I processed what he said. He'd been seeing her for over a week? As in dating her? As in a relationship? He kissed me and then went and decided to go have a RELATIONSHIP with the biggest slut that Northwestern Memorial has ever seen? What the fuck?! I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes. I didn't want them to come but I couldn't fight them back anymore. If I thought it hurt that he was just screwing the skank like all the other hussies in his life, this was a thousand times worse.

"You know what Edward…" I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence because Edward's pager began going off. He pulled it out and yelled 'fuck'. Just then I noticed that Emmett, Jasper, Mike, and Tyler were all holding their pagers with the same expression. I felt the blood drain from my face and my chest went cold.

It was rare for the guys to get called out on a regular night like this. They were trained for it and it was part of their job. Calls can come at any time for SWAT teams, but in the three years that they have been in SWAT, this was only the tenth nighttime call out that they had received.

Alice and Rose clung to Jasper and Emmett, begging them to be careful and I slowly looked back to Edward. The anger I felt a moment ago was immediately replaced with fear.

"Be careful," I whispered and I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his neck squeezing him tightly. He turned his face to bury his nose in my neck and I felt him inhale deeply. "I will. I promised you and I'm going to keep that promise. We will be safe and we will come home."

I finally released his neck and stepped back from Edward to be pulled into a bear hug by Emmett and then Jasper as we all said we loved each other. I made them both promise to be careful and call when they got back to the station. I would not sleep until I knew that they were safe.

The boys rushed out the front door and disappeared into the night. Rose, Alice, and I all reached our arms around each other to provide hugs of reassurance to one another.

"Is it always like this?" Alice asked in more than a whisper.

I shook my head, "No, night calls are pretty rare, but very scary. I know I for one won't be falling asleep until they call to let us know that they are safe. Do you guys want to come over and hang out while we wait?"

They nodded; Sabrina and Krista agreed too. We all walked together up the street in a solemn group. We reached my building and climbed the stairs to the fifth floor. Unfortunately the elevator wasn't working; it would have been nice after the long night on our feet in unforgiving heels.

We were all pretty down. Krista and Sabrina only visited a little while before they begged off and headed home leaving Alice, Rose and me to worry together. I made a huge pot of coffee for us to slowly sip while we sat in silence.

Alice was especially jittery as this was her first taste of the life with a SWAT loved one. "Does it ever get any easier?" she finally asked with a sigh.

I sighed, "Easier? I guess in a way you learn to live with it, but at the same time you never really get used to it. Every day when I work the ER I constantly check every trauma that comes in to make sure it isn't one of my boys. Their job is dangerous, but someone needs to do it. They save lives and they make life safer for everyone. They are damn near the closest thing to real life heroes you can get…cops and soldiers and firemen."

Eventually we managed to move on to other topics, we talked about our jobs. Rose was actually a nurse at Northwestern but we never really crossed paths. She worked strictly in labor and delivery, which we had yet to hit in our internship rotation. She loved working there to help bring babies into the world every day. We talked about her and Emmett; how they had already discussed getting married some day and having babies of their own. The idea made me smile. I knew Emmett would be a fantastic dad.

Alice finally told us all about the evolution of her relationship with Jasper. I witnessed the spark between them the first time they met, but I hadn't been privy to the process of them bridging the gap. They seemed to be so good together. He calmed her nervous energy and she pulled him completely out of playboy mode and settled him quite firmly into 'boy in total love mode' which was fantastic.

Thankfully both Rose and Alice stayed clear of discussing my Edward issues, choosing instead to focus on evaluating my evening getting to know Trevor a bit. Now that we were away from the bar and worrying about more pressing issues, the whole situation with Trevor felt superfluous, almost like the events had happened to someone else entirely. It was fun to talk about, but the reality of the situation was that I really didn't believe it would go anywhere long term. I had my career to focus on and he was just getting settled to life in Chicago. The likelihood that our lives would intersect enough to eke out any form of a relationship was very low.

I jumped when my phone finally rang at four twenty-three am. By the time I grabbed it off the chair arm both Rose and Alice's phones were ringing too. We all looked at one another in relief as we answered. Edward was on the other end of the line sounding completely exhausted as he told me that everything went fine and everyone was safe and that we should really be getting to bed. I told him I was glad they were all safe and thanked him for the call before hanging up.

I pulled some blankets and pillows out of the hall closet for the couch and insisted that Alice sleep in my room. Rose could sleep in Emmett's while I took the couch. Alice argued for about ten minutes before finally giving in. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was immediately out, only vaguely registering when Emmett, Jasper, and Edward came in.

Emmett and Jasper disappeared down the hallway and I called after Jasper in a slurred voice warning him that if he had sex in my bed I would murder him in the morning earning a tired laugh. Edward moved to sit on the floor in front of the couch, laying his head on the sofa cushion next to my head and ran his fingers through my hair.

"All night long, I had trouble concentrating because all I could see was your face when I told you about my relationship with Maggie. I didn't realize how much that would hurt you." I could feel the tears welling in my eyes again and I really wished he wouldn't choose to lay all of this on me when I was so tired and vulnerable.

"I just wanted you to know that I didn't realize what she was. She put on a really good show and it wasn't until right before you came out of that bathroom that I saw what she really was. And as far as trying a relationship to begin with, I only did it because I had made a promise to myself the night that you called me Slutward in your sleep that I would try to be a better guy, one who deserved your respect. It bothered me and I wanted to prove that I was capable of being more than that. I picked the really wrong girl at the really wrong time and I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

I sighed and reached forward to run my hand through is hair and run my thumb over the dark circles under his eyes. "I'm too tired to construct a coherent answer. Can we finish this discussion later?" He nodded weakly.

I scooted back on the couch, leaving space for him to lie on his side next to me and lifted the blanket. He cocked his head looking confused at the invitation before finally climbing up facing me on the couch. He reached his hand up and gently pushed my hair back, tucking it behind my ear before stretching his arm around my waist and relaxing into the pillow. I could hear the steady cadence of his breath as he began to drift off. I sighed and laid my arm on top of his, resting my hand on his shoulder. I was quickly lulled to sleep again but this time it was by the soothing sounds of his breathing.

_**

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Author's Note: Ah the drama of Girl's Night. The next chapter will have some of Edward's impressions of tonight along with a bit more of the boys' job. I've been dying to do a good SWAT focused chapter.

_**As I said before links to the songs will be in my profile, along with pics of how I picture Trevor. I have two words DAVID BOREANAZ. I developed a crush on that man way back in his Buffy days and still drool over him on the show Bones. He is so hot! It seems I have a thing for guys who play vampires! LOL! David, Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned, Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000, and of course the entire male vamp cast of Twilight! RAWR! **_

_**Okay…it's really late again. My sleep is definitely playing the price for this story…but it is SO Worth it! LOL By the way, the hits are still amazing and this story got it's 100**__**th**__** review on Monday! Woohoo! You guys rock and I love hearing from you so please review!**_

**_Thanks to my Beta Sihaya9 for trudging through all 15 pages of this chapter and getting it back so fast!_**


	9. Sleeping With An Angel

_**Please Take Notice: This story will be removed from this site Monday March 1**__**st**__** unless I am forced to do so before that time. It is also posted on both twilighted and twcslibrary dot com, so if you are just starting this story, I ask that you please read it there in case you can't finish it before my removal deadline. Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience. A Cullen Wannabe**_

_**P.S. If you are wanting to know the reasoning behind this move, please see my profile for links to TWCSlibrary and a blog that explains the entire situation**_

**Disclaimer: These characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer and I just like to pull them out of character and mess around with their emotions and mental stability a bit. I must also mention that the plotline surrounding the former Illinois Governor in this story is a pure work of fiction to drive the plot and is in no way real...but I felt it added realism to the story to work it around a real political figure facing FBI investigation and most likely prison time.**

**8. Sleeping With An Angel**

I woke up from the most peaceful sleep I had ever experienced in my life to find myself on Emmett and Bella's couch with Bella's warm soft frame securely wrapped in my arms. Her face was tucked comfortably into the crook of my neck and the sensation of her warmth brushing past my neck with every breath was heavenly. I instinctively pulled her closer, not wanting to let go of the overwhelming sense of contentment I felt having her in my arms. I felt her foot move at the end of the couch and realized that our legs were entwined, her right leg was wrapped around my hip and her foot was tucked behind my knee.

I had spent many nights in bed with women throughout my years, but I made it a habit of taking them back to their place. I never slept in their beds or cuddled or stayed until the next morning. I buried my nose in Bella's hair and took in a deep breath, closing my eyes to savor the smells that were undeniably Bella. Being with her like this, holding her in my arms, smelling her sweet scent, feeling her breath on my flesh…it all felt so good…so RIGHT. I loved every minute of it, just like I loved Bella. There, I admitted it…I love Bella. I'm IN love with Bella. Bella is the woman that I love more than any other person that walks the face of this earth and I'm the stupid fuck that took forever to realize it, hurting her repeatedly in the process.

I closed my eyes as I thought of the events from last night. I focused on the moment when I realized, beyond all doubt, that the feelings I had for Bella were more than friendship, more than the love of a brother figure for his little sister…the moment I realized that I would give anything in the world to make her happy.

I was totally shocked when I first saw her there, looking like an angel with her long dark hair in soft waves down her back while her calves stood taut from the angle of her heels on her mile long legs. The soft skin of her legs looked silky smooth all the way up to where they disappeared under the fluffy black skirt that rippled around her as she swayed to the beat. The joyful smile on her face as she talked and joked with her friends was mesmerizing and when she would throw her head back in laughter it was like time stood still. Her creamy white skin seemed to glow in the flashing lights of the dance floor and I had to grip the seat of my chair to keep myself from crossing the room and taking her into my arms with the intent of never letting go.

I wanted to be close to her and feel her next to me more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. It wasn't just about sex, though I wanted that too, but it was more. I wanted to be close to her and hear her laugh and feel the skin of her warm soft arms wrapped around my neck. I wanted to be the one to make her throw her head back in laughter. I wanted to be the one to make that beautiful happy glow shimmer from her beautiful frame. I wanted to brush my lips over hers and feel that tingle take over my body, like it did that day in Andy's hospital room. I wanted to make Bella feel…loved.

I held myself in my seat as I marveled over how, after all of these years and in spite of looking more beautiful than any other woman in the room, Bella still held a sense of innocence. She was sexy as she rocked to the beat but even then she still had a kind of purity about her. I was pondering this as I made my way back over to the bar to get another beer. We were told to be ready for a call in twenty-four seven this week with a major case brewing in HQ, so I was nursing my beers unbearably slowly in case I needed my full faculties later.

When I turned around to make my way back to the table, I nearly dropped my beer in shock. I stumbled the last few steps to fall into my seat when I saw that Bella, my sweet innocent Bella, was sandwiched between Rose and Alice grinding away looking unbearably sexy and tantalizing and so fucking unbelievable. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that I wasn't the only one squirming to relieve some of the uncomfortable pressure mounting in my jeans.

Bella looked over and I saw the blush rising in her cheeks knowing she was more uncomfortable with the situation than she was letting on. I was about to my breaking point, seconds from jumping up out of my chair and going over to pull Bella into my arms when I saw Emmett get up with a determined look, Jasper hot on his tail. Emmett grabbed Rosalie around the waist, spinning her from behind Bella a few seconds before Jasper stepped in front of Alice. Bella took a step back to allow them to dance as a twosome.

I started to rise slowly from my chair when I noticed a large bald guy come up behind Bella pressing himself against her. She spun instantly and he grabbed her hips to pull her close and the anger that began to fester the moment he stepped behind her mounted into a full blown murderous rage. I began to cross the floor to her side at a near sprint, my anger growing when I saw his large dirty claw grasp at her ass.

I was only a foot away when I froze in awe as I watched tiny little Bella reach behind her to grab his hand and bend his middle finger back causing the guy to pull away sharply. She used her other hand to grab his wrist, at which point he yelled out in pain and dropped to his knees. I watched her growl in his face, a beautiful and strong avenging angel who was quite capable of defending herself, simultaneously turning me on and causing me to revere her in awe.

She finally released him with a bit of a shove before turning to look at Emmett, Jasper and I as we all watched him sulk back to the bar. I couldn't take my mind off of the violent ways I wanted to abuse the man for even thinking of touching Bella like that. She was kind in her response compared to the many bones I planned on breaking along with his nose and jaw.

I was pretty deep in my violent fantasies when I saw her stand in my line of sight with her hands on her hips, her face set in a mask of authority, and her high heel clad foot tapping rapidly against the wooden dance floor. She told us that she had taken care of the situation and unless we caught him treating another innocent girl in a like fashion we were to leave him alone. I was a bit surprised to see how quickly Emmett and Jasper seemed to agree to her request. They began teasing her about her defensive skill, but when she turned to leave I saw the look pass between them. I smirked for a second knowing that this was not the end of our interactions with the sleazebag.

Bella looked across the dance floor and I saw what appeared to be sadness cross her face as her shoulders slumped a bit. She turned back toward the bar again taking a step in that direction. I couldn't help my reaction. I immediately reached my hand out to grasp her arm, the feel of her silky skin under the pads of my fingers tingling with the contact.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked barely able to control the wavering of my voice. I knew she had to be upset over the situation that had taken place and I knew her well enough to know that she was feeling abandoned by her friends at this point. I wanted so badly for her to allow me to hold her close for just one song. I wanted things to be good between us again and deep down inside I wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how I felt about her, but I knew I could never do that. I wanted more for her than what I had to offer. She deserved much better than me.

She slowly turned toward me and I could see she was annoyed at my intrusion. "Yes Edward, I'm fine, thanks."

Even though I knew she wanted me to leave her alone, I couldn't just walk away. I had to at least offer to hold her close, to comfort her, to make her feel safe. I reached a tentative hand out toward her. "W-Will you dance with me?"

She looked deep in my eyes with a conflicting sadness. "Edward, I'm sorry but I…I don't want to do this tonight. I'm here to have fun with my girlfriends. I need a break from the drama. Thank you for checking to make sure I'm okay and being willing to step up to help me, but we're going to need to really sit down and talk about all of this stuff and I just don't want to do that right now…okay?"

Her words stung, but I knew she was right. This was supposed to be her night out with the girls to relax, to have fun and I was getting in the way of her enjoyment. Even though she was alone at the moment with her friends all coupled off, she preferred to be alone than to be in my company. I dropped my head in disappointment and frustration and walked back over to join Mike and Tyler at the table, taking an appreciative swig of my Sam Adams and wishing I could indulge in the hard stuff to dull some of the pain that was ripping at my chest.

I watched Bella at the bar carefully, desperately hoping that nobody else tried to place a hand on her for fear that I would literally pull them limb from limb. Many pieces of scum ogled her appreciatively, but after her little display on the dance floor, none were foolish enough to approach her, much to my relief.

By the time Bella had her drink Jasper and Emmett reappeared at our table. The girls settled on the far side of the room at a table that contained two guys that the other Femmes had just been dancing with. A third man appeared to be with them. I had noticed that he was watching Bella with interest while his friends chatted up Krista and Sabrina earlier. But now his interest seemed piqued, earning a deep growl from my chest as Bella slid into the only open seat, which just happened to be next to him.

I watched as Sabrina leaned forward introducing Bella to the three men. The third guy seemed to be actively avoiding the girls after obviously showing great interest earlier and my jaw tightened. I saw his game. He was quite good because all five of the girls, especially Sabrina and Bella were watching him curiously. Finally I saw Bella look down at her glass in contemplation before taking a long drink and I watched the player lean in close to reel her in.

Bella looked surprised at first that he had spoken to her and even more surprised at his close proximity. I was kind of hoping she would give him a taste of what she gave the quasi Neo-Nazi earlier in the night, but no such luck. She did, to my pleasure, appear to find him suspicious and I was hoping she would prove her intelligence and flee.

They appeared to banter back and forth when I saw her eyes drop to the table a rosy blush gracing her cheeks. Seconds later, she looked back up at him though her lashes to throw him that sexy as hell smirk; my heart promptly dropped into my abdomen. I didn't want him to be reeling her in, but even more than that, I didn't want her giving that smirk to anyone else. That was my smirk…I wanted it to be my smirk. I wanted her to be my girl.

I saw the wide smile of the predator zeroing in on my sweet beautiful Bella. I wanted to scream. I hadn't even realized I was voicing my concerns until Jasper and Emmett piped up on either side of me.

"Oh come on Eddie, he doesn't seem that bad. You're just jealous." Jasper drawled before taking a sip of his Amstel.

"Jasper, I'm not…jealous. You know how the fucking game is played. Are you watching this guy? He's got slime written all over him, and she's too damn sweet and innocent to recognize it."

Emmett and Jasper both snorted. "Man, you don't give Bella any credit. First of all, she's a smart woman and after watching us all of these years, I'm pretty fucking sure she can spot a player nearly as quickly as we can, maybe even faster. Secondly, you've got it in your head that Bella's this precious, innocent, virginal princess locked in a fucking tower or something, but she's not. Listen to her for five seconds when she's drunk and you know she's not. After living with us all of these years the girl could make a sailor run out of the bar in fear when she's properly soused."

"Yeah, she's got the mouth, but that's all superficial. Inside she really is so innocent." I watched the girls pull Bella up to dance again when a Pink song came on and I relaxed a little in my seat to see that the girls were dancing in a group alone. That's when I heard Jasper's next question and I felt ill.

Jasper looked at me from the corner of his eye with a smirk. "Edward, do you think Bella is a virgin?"

"Of course she is. We've chased off every guy she's ever brought home long before anything too physical happened."

This time Emmett and Jasper broke out into coughing laughter. "Oh Edward…and you call _her_ innocent and naïve! She stopped bringing home her boyfriends to meet us after sophomore year at NW when we ran off that Caleb guy, but that doesn't mean she didn't have any boyfriends. Did you seriously think that those weekend study groups she had lasted nine hours?"

Suddenly I felt like I had to been kicked in the chest and all of the air had been knocked out of me. She had been seeing guys secretly? She had been alone with them and let them see her and touch her? My mind was suddenly reeling wondering who she allowed to take her virtue, which one of the fucking cocksuckers in her life got to be the first one to taste her and feel her and watch her face as she came on their dicks.

I felt sick…it should have been me. All of those years avoiding her, pushing her out of my mind, secretly loving her but being too chicken shit to admit it even to myself, hiding in the cunts of a parade of slutty whores…I should have been with her. I should have been putting in the effort to be the man she deserved me to be, instead I ran away from her because I knew I wasn't.

I finally came back to the present and heard the taunts of Emmett and Jasper in my ears. "Awe poor Eddie looks like he's going to blow chunks. He really did think my baby sister was the virginal little angel all of this time!"

"Shut up Emmett…and don't call me Eddie!" I growled through clenched teeth.

"But you let Bella call you Eddie…why can't we?"

"Because I fucking love her dipshit, now leave me alone!" I froze as the words flew out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. Both Jasper and Emmett froze mid drink and turned to me with wide smiles on their faces.

"About God damned time!" Emmett yelled pounding me on the back with his massive hands!

"Yeah motherfucker…we've been trying to get you to realize this for how many years now Em?"

"Uh…well I guess it's been four or five because I never would have allowed it until Bella was at least legal…but I think she had been eighteen for a while before I really noticed it, so I'm going with four."

I groaned. "Guys I fucked up so bad though. She wouldn't even fucking dance with me when she was left alone while all the rest of the girls were dancing. She's so pissed at me, I can tell. What the hell do I do?"

"Well yeah man, you fucking stomped on her heart with that whole kiss and then go start your very first relationship with the nearest slut; Shit," Jasper explained as he pat me roughly on the back. "You're just going to have to do your best to explain why you did it and hope that she once more can find it in her heart to forgive you and let you back in. Otherwise you're screwed man."

"God, I am such an incomprehensible fucktard."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Emmett chuckled before taking a large gulp from his beer.

I turned back to look for Bella just in time to see her slide back into her chair at the table, wincing as she reached down to massage the top of her feet. Those heels were probably hurting by now. She was definitely not a high heels type of girl. I was about to get up to try to talk to her when the player who had been working his mojo on her all night slid in next to her, sliding a drink into her hand.

I watched as she looked up at him and back to the drink a few times contemplating and to my horror she actually took it from him and knocked it back, taking a long drink. "Fuck! Have we taught the girl nothing? She just took a drink from the sleaze. She doesn't know if it's been drugged or what he might have put in it! What the fuck is she thinking?!" I knew I was screaming but I couldn't help it. I was really getting worried about Bella and hoping she never went out without us again because who knows what trouble she would get herself into.

"Calm down Bro," Jasper said from beside me. "I was watching too, she didn't just drink it. She thought through her options and I'm pretty sure that she figured we are watching and would have her back if she starts looking off. She's not stupid. Credit dude, give her credit."

I sighed and slumped back into my chair as I watched my beautiful Bella talk animatedly with the fucking player, gesturing wildly with her hands, a bright smile plastered on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. The longer they talked the sicker I felt. She was enjoying this asshole's company and he seemed to be enjoying hers too.

About ten minutes in I saw something that concerned me more than the fact that he was a player…I saw him switch off the player tricks and actually honestly engage her in conversation. He stopped trying to simply pick her up and was truly becoming attracted to the amazing girl that was my Bella. MY Bella! I couldn't let someone else claim my Bella!

I could feel my nails begin to dig into the palms of my hands as I clenched my fists tighter and tighter with every passing second as I saw him make her laugh. I saw the twinkle in her eye and the tossing back of her head as her face glowed with mirth. I was supposed to be doing that with her. I was supposed to be making her laugh.

After thirty minutes of hell, the girls came back and once again grabbed Bella to dance with them. I watched them dance and when I saw Bella look over with wide eyes I finally unclenched my fists and felt my muscles twitch as they tried to relax. I wanted to punch something and I wanted to punch it hard. My release came in the form of the asshole who had made the mistake of grabbing Bella's ass earlier standing at the bar harassing another girl who was yelling at him telling him to keep his hands to himself. I reached over to smack Emmett and Jasper on the arms and nodded my head toward the Neanderthal. They both smiled and we crossed the room as Jasper and Emmett each put a hand on his shoulders and I clapped mine on the middle of his back.

Mama D was standing behind the bar giving us a worried expression. "Don't worry Mama; we're just taking the trash out for you. This cue ball made the mistake of grabbing Bella's ass earlier and didn't learn his lesson when she made him collapse on the floor in pain, so now we're going to take him out and teach him some manners. He won't be bothering your patrons again tonight."

Mama smiled at us. "Alrighty then boys just keep the law out of it and we'll be fine."

"Oh but Mama, we are the law…SWAT team…remember?" Of course this was said more for his benefit than hers. The jackass's eyes widened at the new info and he immediately began to beg off with his hands raised in surrender, but it was too late.

We hauled the asshole out into the alley beside the bar where Emmett and Jasper held him while I gave him a few good gut shots. I wanted so bad to pound his face, but I knew he wasn't worth the bruised knuckles and possible broken hand. It felt good to channel my anger as I took one final knee to his groin and another to his gut before we let him collapse on the ground.

"You never put a hand on a lady without her permission, and when she tells you to back off you fucking do it. If we ever see you treating a lady with anything less than the proper respect again, you'll get a lot worse. Now go home and sleep it off Mr. Clean, and don't make this little discussion be a necessity ever again!"

He got up and stumbled down the street. We began making our way back to our table. Along the way a blonde I had taken home for some fun a few weeks ago grabbed my shirt and placed a rather slobbery kiss on my lips, poking her tongue at me to gain entrance. I pulled her away and explained I wasn't looking for a date tonight just as I looked toward the dance floor to see Bella in_his_ arms. I felt myself immediately tense. I sat down in my seat unable to take my eyes off my beautiful Bella in the arms of this motherfucking player. Thankfully I wasn't alone. Emmett and Jasper were FINALLY reacting appropriately to the situation too sitting nearly as tensely as I was.

Bella was slowly drawing closer to him and I saw her eyes close as though she were savoring the moment. The black hole had returned to my chest, sucking my heart through my back and splattering it against the far wall in an ooze of red blood. She was enjoying being in his arms. She looked pleased and seemed to be…attracted to him. And that shit hurt.

_Fuck…is this how she felt when she saw me with Maggie? With every other girl I've ever picked up unthinkingly in her presence? This hurts like a motherfucker and I am most definitely the biggest prick to ever walk the earth!_

Suddenly I felt Bella's eyes on me and shifted my gaze from the middle of his back, where I longed to plunge the nearest butcher knife, to her eyes. I saw her face harden and her eyes narrow in warning. She knew what I was thinking. Then she shifted her gaze to Emmett and Jasper giving them similar looks before shifting her weight, causing them to move so that her back was to us and then we saw his expression. Whatever genuine interest he had in her earlier had been replaced with something else and then we saw him check out the ass a silicone enhanced blonde next to them. I heard Jasper and Emmett growl the same time I did.

"Sorry Edward, obviously there was more to your observations than mere jealousy. This jackass has to go." Emmett growled from next to me with his arms crossed over his chest.

Just as we began to concoct a plan to get her away from him we saw them both jump apart so he could pull a blackberry from his pocket. He began speaking to her with a smooth smile. She held her hand out to take his phone and gave him hers in return. We all groaned when we watched them exchange phone numbers and then he left after placing a kiss on her cheek that made my stomach boil.

I had to fight every instinct in me not to follow him and beat him to a pulp for his ill intentions with my Bella, but instead I balled my hands into fists again. I watched him leave and the girls once again surround her, squealing and jumping up and down as if the exchange that we had just witnessed was a good thing. Obviously the girls hadn't seen what we had. Rosalie or Alice would have been ready to rip his eyes out with their bare hands if they caught his lustful, voyeuristic behavior.

I stayed in my seat, willing myself to calm down now that the fucker had left, but I found it exceedingly difficult. I was wishing so hard that I could bury my frustrations in a nice big bottle of Jack Daniels, but we were on alert and I knew I had to stay sober. I sat for the next hour watching as Bella tossed back drink after drink while she danced with the girls. At least my sanity was saved by the fact that no other guys approached the girls for the rest of the night. Yes they all watched, actually drooled would be a better description of what they were doing, but they never approached.

As time wore on I noticed that Bella's balance became more and more impaired between the heels, the booze, and from the look on her face, utter exhaustion. She began to stumble and after the third time, I couldn't just watch anymore waiting to see her finally hit the floor. I was approaching behind her when she began to stumble again and I caught her waist to steady her.

The sensation of her warm hips in my hands was euphoric and I couldn't resist the urge to wrap my arms around her waist to pull her warm body closer. I leaned down to whisper in her ear, taking in deep pulls of her intoxicating scent that went straight to my groin, causing my jeans to tighten. I pulled my lower body away slightly so she wouldn't feel my issue as I whispered into her ear.

"You look stunning tonight Bella. Every guy in this room was drooling over you, but none of them are good enough for you Bella. You deserve the best and you're not going to find that in a bar in downtown Chicago."

She suddenly gripped my arms, yanking them from her waist with surprising speed and strength as she spun to look at me in anger, but stumbled and fell against me and my dick jerked in my pants when her warm body crashed into mine. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her and rub my hip into her, but I fought the desire, pulling her away quickly instead. She looked surprised and glanced down at my pants for a moment before looking back up as the mask of anger returned to her face.

"What the hell Edward! Who are you to decide who is or is not good enough for me to date? The last time I looked I'm fully-grown and capable of making my own decisions as to the company I keep. Besides what the fuck does it matter to you? You don't want me so why can't somebody else have me?"

Her words stung because, well, I DID want her. I wanted her more than anything in my life, but I couldn't tell her that. I felt my face start to harden in frustration as I focused my attention on the one thing I could deal with in the moment.

"Fine, go get your fucking heart broken by that player and see if I care. Trust me Bella, I can spot a smooth operator ten miles away and that guy is a total fucking sleaze. Don't let him play you Bella."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I guess it takes one to know one then huh Masen? Who are you to pass judgment on someone you haven't even spoken to? You are like the king of the players, but that didn't stop you from kissing me and then fucking ignoring me for two weeks before getting caught banging a slutty nurse in the doctor's lounge."

My frustration flared and I spat the next words out in an attempt to defend myself. "I wasn't banging her. I'd been seeing her for over a week and that was the first time we had done anything but kiss."

She froze. My heart broke as I saw her eyes go wide and her face crumble from a mask of anger and defiance to one of sorrow and pain. I hurt her. I felt like my heart shred in two in my chest as I watched the emotions I caused play across her face. The tears that began to pool in her eyes were torturous and I was trying to figure out what the fuck I could say to make this right when she bit her lip and crossed her arms and started to yell.

"You know what Edward…" We were cut off by the sound of my beeper and I knew before I ever looked at the thing what it was going to be. Of all of the times to get called in…THIS had to be it. I growled in frustration…'fuck'. She looked up to see the rest of the guys checking their pagers and I saw her face first pale and then go blank while fear clouded her eyes.

"Be careful," she whispered as she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around my neck and I just wanted time to freeze. I wanted to stay here in her arms forever. I turned my face and buried my nose in her soft fragrant neck and took in a deep breath, trying to memorize the feeling of her being in my arms and the way it made my heart beat faster. It wasn't the adrenaline of the coming mission that caused my heart to speed uncontrollably. No, it was the feeling of the beautiful girl I loved in my arms knowing that she cared for me. We might argue and we might have our shit screwed up to high heaven, but at the end of the day she cared about me in some way, like I did her.

I finally managed to find my voice again as I tried to comfort her. "I will. I promised you and I'm going to keep that promise. We will be safe and we will come home."

After a lengthy hug she stepped away; my body ached at the loss of her warmth as she was pulled into a bear hug by Emmett and then Jasper as they all said we loved each other. She made us promise to call, warning that she would be waiting for our call. Walking out that door and leaving her like that was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but we had to go do our duty. We ran out into the cool Chicago night, jumping into Jasper's Camaro and sped toward the precinct to get ready for our unknown mission.

Throughout the entire ten minute car ride to the station I couldn't see anything but Bella's tortured face, the tears welling in her eyes. Each molecule of moisture was like a needle pricking my heart. In all of the seven years I had known Bella I had angered her many times, incurring her wrath and ire and earning myself more than one knee to the nuts, but I had never seen hurt in her eyes as a result of my actions…never…and it was the purest form of torture.

_**(A/N: I put definitions for some of the basic SWAT lingo at the bottom in the final A/N for anyone who is interested)**_

In a daze, I walked in the back door of the precinct with the other officers arriving for the strategy meeting before the mission. Tonight we were missing Andy; Joey had already arrived and had saved us seats in the conference room. Emmett, Jasper, Mike, Tyler and I all joined him and sat waiting for the Lieutenant to give us our strategy for tonight's op. The one thing we knew for sure was that our team was going to be the first ones in.

The seven of us made up the entry team. We were always the first ones in the soup and usually the last ones out. We were just a small part of the overall SWAT division, but we were considered the elite of the elite. We were proud of that title, but it also meant that every time we went out, we were in the most direct line of fire, and we were at the highest risk of not making it back home. I made a promise to Bella and I intended to keep it, but I never said it was going to be easy.

The commanders of our division gave us the basic layout of our target. Over the last year the news stations aired more and more information about our fine state's wonderful, corrupt as hell governor. I never liked Rod Blagojevich…he always stuck me as being a crooked little weasel. What most of the general public didn't know was that his ties to corruption went far deeper than just the political arena. The son of a bitch had his hands in every corrupt enterprise in the tri-state area and our division had narrowed down on a particularly crucial mob connection in the city.

Troy Deluca was a small time thug who just so happened to go to the same high school as the less than illustrious Robbie Rod. So imagine the coincidence that he suddenly managed to make it to the big leagues just in time for the good ole Governor to come into office. Among other things that Deluca had done for the crook, he had managed to stuff ballot boxes in six precincts that gave Roddy boy the most influential district in the state to turn the tides of the election in his favor.

After that Deluca came into a great deal of money with which he deeply entrenched himself in the drug trade, setting up multiple branches that ranged from low grade pot to heroin and everything in between. He catered to all levels of wealth, passing deadly concoctions of Meth to the street bums for nominal fees while selling high grade cocaine and heroin to his more affluent client base with a generous markup for his own personal use.

The FBI had a lot on Blagojevich as it was, but Deluca was going to be the lynchpin that would tie him to both the political corruption as well as the other side ventures. He'd be the key to putting the man into federal prison for life…of course the guys around the station thought Pontiac was a much better choice. The unnecessary closure of Pontiac prison had been a pet project for Robbie Rod and we were pretty sure that he would receive the full measure of his punishment if he were placed there.

We sat listening to the details of the op and I fought to focus on the job at hand. Distraction was deadly and would be counter productive to keeping my promise to Bella. We all geared up in full black dress with our Kevlar body armor and full face masked helmets. The gear was hot and heavy, but going head first into the hot zone meant you needed to be fully prepared.

It was two in the morning when we poured into the hot cramped van and my mind wandered once again to Bella. I thought of her face as I hurt her, and then the way the anger melted away when the call came in. She was terrified, and in spite of all of the hurt I had caused, she still cared. The emotion in her eyes, the softness and…love…was it love? I don't really know for sure. The thought that it might be love made my heart speed again and the emotion in her eyes, it simply melted me.

Before I knew it we had stopped again, we were one hundred feet from our extract location at the warehouse. Our target was Deluca himself. We needed to apprehend him and bring him back to HQ for FBI interrogation. Normally the FBI would have sent their own men in, but for the sake of anonymity and to keep other key witnesses from fleeing in recognition of the direction the investigation had taken, they called the best of the locals in to bring on less suspicion.

Before we stepped out of the van we received the order to lock and load, cocking our weapons and ensuring that the safeties were off and the first round was in the chamber ready for action. I heard the crackle of the speaker in my helmet when the Lieutenant gave the command to roll out. I watched as the van emptied in front of me while three other vans worth of teams unloaded and split out toward their individual objective points.

Our team was taking the Bravo entry point while the Alpha, Charlie, and Delta teams were on strict orders to set up blocks on all exits and cover them to prevent suspects from eluding capture. We all quietly moved into position waiting for the final word from our commanders in the darkness.

The word finally came via a crackle followed by "Entry team go,go,go!" Mike held the halligan as Jasper, Joey, and used the ram to breach the door. Emmett took point entering the building, Tyler taking wing and the rest of us followed. We heard commotion of the various thugs taking positions within the building and when shots began to ring out across the room I heard Emmett in my helmet.

"One Away!" I took position and waited for the brightness of the flash bang followed by our immediate shift forward to gain ground in the large warehouse. I heard the support team flow in behind us and take the right flank as we made our way deeper into the building, occasionally running across random thugs cowering amongst tall piles of bags which most likely held millions upon millions of dollars worth of illegal paraphernalia.

The support teams swept through behind us, apprehending the thugs as we continued forward in search of our primary target. We finally found Deluca barricaded in a small office in the rear corner of the warehouse. We couldn't help but laugh when he yelled idol threats out the window. Finally sick of the ridiculous stand off, we spread the word to mask up. I slid my way up to the office door, knocking out the window and tossing in a canister of tear gas and then backed up ten feet to wait for Deluca's attempted escape. I was rewarded fifteen seconds later when the door swung open and Deluca crawled out, retching and tearing at his face. I came forward and cuffed him announcing on the com, "One Walking" to inform them that we had the target in custody and were making our way out.

We crossed the lot to load him into the nearest wagon as the sweeper teams returned to the building to secure the area and then the Narc squad could come in to tag and bag the literal mountains of evidence for trial. We all felt a sense of pride as we pulled off the hot protective gear and gave one another high fives at another mission accomplished.

I felt a bit lighter on the ride back to the station as I thought about Bella. I was going to make things right with her again, somehow. If I discovered she felt the same way about me, then maybe we could give it a shot. The thought of risking my friendship with her terrified me, but at the same time, avoiding her hadn't exactly helped our relationship either. I was going to sit down as soon as possible and explain my motivations behind everything. Hopefully she would understand and be able to forgive me. Oh God did I ever want her to forgive me.

We pulled back into the station to cheers and official pats on the back as we sat through debriefing and were finally set free. The second the meeting was over, Jasper, Emmett, and I all had our phones out and dialing. Bella answered and the relief in her voice was music to my ears.

As soon as the other two were done confessing their undying love to the women in their lives we got back into Jasper's car and made our way back across town to Emmett's apartment. Alice texted to let us know that she and Rose were staying and that Bella had insisted Alice take her bed, so I changed my plans and decided to go up in hopes of getting a moment alone with Bella. I knew she would be exhausted, but sleeping on the couch she would wake up when the other two came in anyway, and I didn't want to go another night without telling her the whole story.

When we walked in I immediately stopped when I saw her beautiful face smooth and peaceful in sleep. I wanted so badly to walk straight over and kiss her face. The front door closing caused her to stir and Emmett and Jasper spoke a few minutes before making their way down the hallway to the bedrooms where their girls slept. I couldn't help but chuckle as Bella's voice thick with sleep yelled to Jasper that if he had sex in her bed she would kill him in the morning before burying her face back in her pillow with a groan.

I slowly moved over to the couch and sat on the floor in front of her, laying my head on the cushion by her head. I wished I could climb onto the couch with her, just hold her close and tell her how much I loved her…because I did; I loved her so fucking much that it hurt! I reached my hand out reflexively and began to run it through her soft dark tresses, hoping after I started that she wouldn't get angry.

"I had trouble concentrating all night long because I kept seeing your face when I told you about my relationship with Maggie. I didn't realize how much that would hurt you." My heart broke again when I saw the tears gathering in her eyes again. I am such a total jackass!

"I just wanted you to know that I didn't realize what she was. She put on a really good show and right before you came out of that bathroom I finally saw what she really was. And as far as trying a relationship to begin with, I only did it because I had made a promise to myself the night that you called me Slutward in your sleep that I would try to be a better guy, one who deserved your respect. It bothered me and I wanted to prove that I was capable of being more than that. I picked the really wrong girl at the really wrong time and I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

I held my breath waiting for her response, hoping it wouldn't be full of the hate that I really deserved. My breath finally escaped when she sighed and reached forward to run her tiny fingers through my hair before moving them down to my face and grazing her thumbs over the dark circles under my eyes.

"I'm too tired to construct a coherent answer. Can we finish this discussion later?" I was torn between wishing I had gotten a better response and being relieved that she didn't yell at me for being the total fool that I was. I nodded in a haze.

Her next action shocked the hell out of me. She looked at me a long moment before scooting her body so it leaned against the back of the couch and lifted the blanket. I watched in awe and confusion as I tried to grasp what she was offering. My heart sped and I felt a surge of joy fill my chest. She was actually going to let me sleep next to her. I was going to get my wish to hold her in my arms tonight.

I hurriedly kicked off my shoes and slid under the blanket, lying on my side facing her. I couldn't resist reaching my hand up again to run my fingers through the silken mahogany locks that had called to me all night as I watched her dance in the bar, always just out of reach. I tucked the strands behind her ear before draping my arm over her waist, letting the comforting warmth of my Bella wash over me as I relaxed my head into the pillow. Being next to her like this was the most beautiful heaven. I could feel myself relax next to her more than I ever do in my own bed.

I heard her sigh next to me and then I felt her arm lay on top of mine. Her tiny hand cupped my shoulder and the warmth of her arm on mine was so beautiful, so perfect, that I never wanted to leave this moment…but my exhaustion was stronger than my will and soon I was lost in blissful sleep with the scent of strawberry and freesia enveloping me and infiltrated into my dreams.

I pulled her with me into my dreams. We lay together on the beach, the warm summer sun beat down on us and the steady cadence of the miniscule surf off Lake Michigan lapped along the shore. I had spent many days at the lake with Bella over the years; especially when she first moved here and we were constantly trying to raise her spirits. But this time was special because instead of hiding my feelings for her I was embracing them. I ran my hands up and down her soft silky sides exposed to me in her modest and yet ever so sexy blue bikini. For the first time since before my father died I felt safe, I felt warm, I felt loved, and I felt…complete and it was all because of the beautiful Angel in my arms.

When I first awoke, it only took seconds to remember that the dream was somewhat real. I was here with Bella in my arms and it felt so right to have her tucked there where she fit so perfectly into every space of my body. After reflecting on the previous night's events, I sighed and whispered the admission that I hoped to make to her while she was awake someday soon, but for now this would have to be enough.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan…more than anything else in the world." I closed my eyes and basked in the sensation of her warm body moving slowly with her even, steady breath. I bent down to kiss her forehead and pulled her closer again. I was going to hold onto her for as long as God would allow. I wished for forever, but I'd settle for another five minutes.

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Author's Note: Well I hope the SWAT stuff was somewhat believable. I will be posting some of the lingo below so you can figure out what is what. The reviews and alerts just keep pouring in, both have broken the 150 mark which is amazing to me in so few chapters. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the ride. I know I am. Please keep it up…it inspires me and encourages me to keep plodding away.

_**SWAT LINGO:**_

_**Alpha: The front of the structure. The 'alpha team' intends to assault from the front.**_

_**Bravo: The left side of the structure.**_

_**Charlie: The rear of the structure.**_

_**Delta: The right side of the structure.**_

_**Entry Team: A specialized SWAT unit in charge of breaking into a suspect's hideout, combining the element of surprise with overwhelming force.**_

_**Flash Bang: A handheld device that stuns and distracts suspects by emitting a loud bang with a super-bright flash.**_

_**Halligan: A tool used by SWAT officers to pry open doors. This tool is usually used in conjunction with the ram.**_

_**One Away: Code yelled before tossing out a Flash Bang**_

_**One Walking: A phrase used to notify that an officer is walking a suspect out of the location.**_

_**Point: The first SWAT team member to enter a room**_

_**Wing: The second team member to enter a room**_

_**I think I covered all of the basic lingo. Hopefully I did an okay job describing the action sequence. I've never actually done that before, so it's all new to me…once again expanding outside of my comfort zone. Thanks for reading!**_


	10. McDreamy, McSteamy, and McCreamy

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight characters, but McCreamy is my own evil creation.**

_**Author's Note: Just to warn you guys, I have a very busy week or two ahead between my son turning 4 and all of his birthday party arrangements and things, plus my mom is on vacation and I want to spend some quality time with her, so I won't have much time to write. If inspiration hits and the time presents itself then I'll most definitely do what I can, but I'm guessing that there won't be an over abundance of writing time at my disposal for at least a week or two…so expect at least a two week delay before you get the next chapter. And for those of you who follow Chasing Away the Shadows, I have the next chapter done and will hopefully be able to post in the next few days, but the same will be true for it as well. Thank you to my beta Sihaya9 for all of her great work as usual! Thanks for reading guys and I hope that you enjoy! Please remember to take time to review!**_

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9. McDreamy, McSteamy, and McCreamy

**BPOV**

I was back in the white bedroom of my daydream, surrounded by fluffy cloudlike pillows, feeling warm and cozy. I knew I was dreaming and it was a beautiful dream that I really didn't want to wake up from. I took a deep breath and melted at the warm, clean, musky scent of Edward who lay next to me in nothing but a pair of white silk pajama pants. He cradled me to his chest with his warm arms wrapped around me. I leaned back and stared at his perfection, his face serene with peaceful sleep, his perfectly sculpted chest smooth and tan with only a slender trail of bronze hair traveling from his belly button down to disappear within the confines of his pajama pants. He was the epitome of perfection and I was actually lying in his arms.

I shifted slightly, allowing my face to rest on the hard, smooth, bare chest of the beautiful man next to me and let my hand travel softly across the smooth ridges of his abs and pecks. I was resisting the urge to brush my lips against them following the pattern that my fingers made as they ghosted across the surface, desperately wanting to taste his skin.

Suddenly I felt the warmth shift, His body pulled closer and enveloped me in both of his arms, cradling me closer to his chest and filling me cozy contentment. In my mind I was begging myself not to wake up, to just let me stay here indefinitely. Just when I thought my dream couldn't get any better, I felt Edward's lips brush my forehead softly as he whispered in my ear, "I love you Isabella Marie Swan…more than anything else in the world." I felt my body melt closer and I sighed; a smile spread across my face and my heart began to race. I relished the heat of his embrace. I cuddled into the space where his neck and shoulder met and placed three gentle kisses on the fragrant flesh of his neck, each slightly higher than the one before. A tingle traveled through my lips and radiated throughout my body. I buried my nose in his neck once again and whispered "Mmmm, Edward." as I reveled in the scent; I marveled at how real this all felt. I wished it could be real.

I was just about to sit up and place a kiss on his lips when he opened his eyes and screeched in my face in a high pixie like voice, "BELLA! We're Late! Bella! You have to wake up!"

My eyes shot open and blinked a few times in disbelief. I found my nose buried in Edward's very soft and fragrant neck. The memory of the five a.m. discussion and my subsequent invitation for him to climb onto the couch with me came flooding through my brain. I pulled back to find equally shocked green eyes staring back at me. I took stock of our position and realized that I was indeed wrapped neatly in Edward's arms, although he was still fully clothed in his uniform; my leg was wrapped around his thigh. I opened my mouth to say something…anything, but before the words could escape my throat a pair of tiny and yet impressively strong hands grabbed my wrist and tugged me off the couch, pulling Edward to the floor as I was dragged over his surprised body to the bedroom.

"Dr. K will be ready to kill us. We're supposed to be in rounds in less than five minutes!" Suddenly realizing how totally screwed we were I ran into my bedroom yelling for Jasper to pull the covers over his head. I tossed a pair of my scrubs to Alice for her to wear. I ripped off my pajamas and threw on my own set of scrubs as quickly as possible. Alice threw me a piece of gum which I immediately unwrapped and tossed into my mouth. I ran to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, and hair tie before running into the living room to jam my feet into my shoes and hurriedly follow Alice out the door. I tried to brush my hair into a ponytail while we ran. As I turned to close the door behind me I saw a flash of a bewildered looking Edward sitting on the couch. He gave me an apologetic smile in the second before the door clicked closed.

Alice and I sprinted at full speed toward the main doors of the hospital, asking Elizabeth, the receptionist, to hold our personal items behind the desk until we could make it back down later. We ran directly to the floor to find the team. By the time we arrived Dr. K, Sabrina, and Krista were already on their third patient for morning rounds when we skidded to a stop in front of them panting at the exertion we had expended to get there.

Dr. K looked ticked off but the annoyance quickly faded to a slight chuckle as she took in our appearance. We both stood with our hands on our knees panting in an attempt to stabilize our breathing. I looked over to see Alice was actually swimming in my scrubs; they were at least two sizes too large for her petite little body and were mismatched, with green top and mauve bottoms. Then I looked down at my own body to see that I was also mismatched, neither of us noticing in the rush that I had given her the top that matched my pants by mistake and placed the top that matched her on my own body. Alice's hair was even more wild than usual, and I'm guessing that my ponytail was far from straight, having secured it while in a full on race to arrive as soon as possible.

"Ladies, I take it you woke up late and ran all the way here?" We nodded with apologetic looks. "Well, considering what you had going on last night with your families, I guess I can excuse your tardiness just this once. I suggest the two of you take some time to sort yourselves out before you join us for the next patient. You hardly look professional." With another chuckle she shooed us away with her hand before turning back to Krista and Sabrina to enter the next room.

Alice and I shared a wary look as we made our way down to the faculty lounge. We locked the door and took a few moments to swap scrub tops and sort out our hair, doing our best to look as professional as possible under the circumstances.

"If this is any indication, it's going to be a long ass day," Alice moaned next to me as she rubbed her hands over her exhausted looking face. We both looked extremely worse for wear with dark circles under our eyes, having gotten less than three hours of sleep.

We shuffled our way back out to meet up with the rest of the Femmes looking a tad better, but definitely not up to our usual standards. We struggled our way through the morning, desperately wishing for a good double espresso to get us through. Finally sick of seeing us struggle through, Dr. K sent us to the cafeteria to get some lunch and ordered us to drink at least three cups of coffee before we showed our sorry butts back on her floor.

We walked away, both appreciative and mortified. We've always been the strong links in our team and it was very humbling to be the embarrassments. Dr. K had told us earlier that we all have our bad days; it's how we cope with them that show what we are really made of. Obviously we weren't doing a very good job of showing our worth.

Alice and I both grumbled as we meandered our way to the front desk to retrieve our belongings from Elizabeth. We ducked into the locker rooms to put our things away and tried to freshen up a bit more before making our way to the cafeteria. We typically tried to steer clear of the cafeteria during this time of the day; anxious to avoid the hospital gossip among the nurses and aids, and today was definitely a banner day for hospital gossip.

We went through the lines of food and made our way to an open seat where we were instantly greeted with the gossip of the day.

"Oh my gosh! Have you seen them yet? They are H-O-Double T HOTT!"

"Really? They're that good looking?"

"Oh yeah, definitely Chicago's version of McDreamy, McSteamy, and McCreamy!"

"McCreamy?"

"OH Hell yeah, as in cream your pants the second you see his sexy ass!"

The nurse getting the low down laughed. "Okay, so who's who?"

"The shorter one with the brown hair and the dimples, Dr. McDonal, is McDreamy, the blonde, Dr. Stevens, is McSteamy, and the tall dark drink of ice cold water, Dr. Sellers, is most definitely McCreamy."

"So where are they working today? Maybe I can accidentally wander into their ward or something."

"Oh Dr. Cullen is giving them the VIP tour so they're all over today. Who knows where they'll be by the end of it. I just got lucky they hit maternity early."

The nurses got up, still gossiping along the way and Alice and I exchanged a knowing look with a roll of our eyes. These new, good-looking hotshots were definitely going to be falling under Dr. K's rules of disengagement. Any docs who are getting Carlisle's VIP tour are definitely going to be some cocky Attendings who will be ruthless, cold, and most definitely off our menu!

After lunch and four cups of extra strong coffee we made our way down to the pits to finish off our day as Dr. K had instructed, feeling much more prepared to face the remainder of our shift. We settled in; both getting a handful of minor cases and happily relished in boring and mundane for once in our professional career. After our crappy morning, we needed a break from the insanity.

We were about an hour shy of our shift being over when I heard Carlisle talking outside of the curtains separating the area my patient inhabited from the rest of the ward. One thing I could say for sure, Carlisle was the king of talking up our facilities capabilities. To hear him talk you would think we were futuristic. I finished up stitching Mrs. Davison, who had cut herself with a kitchen knife while preparing supper, and gave her a few simple directions before stepping out of the cubicle. Returning to the nurse's station, I placed the chart in the 'outbox' and pick up my next patient when I heard Carlisle's voice behind me.

"Oh Dr Swan! Wonderful! I'd like you to come and meet our newest recruits at Northwestern Memorial!" I rolled my eyes at Suzie, my favorite ER nurse with whom I had developed a bit of camaraderie, before plastering my best "sincere" smile on my face and turning to meet the newest assholes.

My mouth dropped open and my eyes grew wide as I turned to find myself face to face with Dan, Chris, and Trevor. "Gentlemen, I would like you all to meet one of our brightest interns this year, Dr. Isabella Swan, Dr. Swan this is Dr. McDonal, Dr. Stevens, and Dr. Sellers."

"Hello again," Trevor replied with a smirk and a wink. "I didn't expect to bump into you again quite so soon."

I was at a loss for words. I had thankfully managed to remember to close my mouth before I started catching flies, but my voice was lost and I could feel the warm blush growing in intensity across my face.

"Oh, do you know one another?" Carlisle asked with a surprised expression.

"Actually, Dr. Swan and her friends were among the people we met last night that the bar you suggested across the street…Dooley's was it?"

"Ah," Carlisle answered with a nod.

I finally found my voice again and managed to smile a bit, "Yes, but I'm sorry I was so surprised that I didn't catch your last names doctor."

Trevor smirked, "Well, I'm Dr. Sellers, Chris here is Dr. Stevens, and Danny Dimples over there is Dr. McDonal. I can't speak for the rest of the guys, but I honestly would prefer for you to call me Trevor."

I struggled to reduce my blushing as I gave him a small nod. Moments later Alice, Sabrina, and Krista materialized beside me with matching looks of surprise which mirrored my initial expression. We went through the process of official introductions again before Suzie asked me to assist with a patient who had requested me. I told the three new guys that it was nice to see them again and followed Suzie to exam area 3 on the far side of the room, only to find it was empty.

Suzie spun toward me with a devious smile, "Okay chickadee, spill!"

I chuckled and sat on the gurney in the exam room with her. I whispered the details from last night before suddenly rolling my eyes at my own inability to deduce that Trevor worked here after the late night call. I guess he could have a number of possible jobs, but across the street from the hospital I worked at and was called to on occasion myself, I should have guessed.

"So, what's he like?" She was getting way too into this. Normally she wasn't one for the gossip mongering, but this time around she was all ears.

"I didn't have much of a chance to get to know him, but he seemed pretty nice. He said he just moved up here from Springfield, which is really close to where I grew up. I don't know anything about the other two. Trevor got called out before we talked too much, but I didn't see the other two the rest of the night either, so they must have been called in too."

"Trevor?"

"Yeah, we didn't discuss our jobs last night, so until a few minutes ago that's all I knew him as. But, I mean, he's an Attending; like Dr. K says, never ever get involved with the Attendings, there's a reason why they are where they are."

"Someday she'll be an Attending, you will someday be an Attending, and there wouldn't be any reason other than your innate skill that would lead you to the job. Maybe you should give the guy a chance before just brushing him off. He's really hot and you should have seen the expression on his face when he saw you! He went from 'I'm bored as hell and can someone get me out of this' to "Alright, now we're talkin'."

I started laughing as I gave her arm a gentle smack. "Oh stop; he did not."

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh yes he did! You were looking at me when he walked up so you wouldn't know what he looked like before Dr. Cullen referred to you as Dr. Isabella Swan. His face lit up like a Christmas tree."

I could feel my brow furrow, "Really?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes, "Yes really…is it so hard to believe? Half the males in this hospital drool over you and the rest of the Femmes every time you walk by."

"Oh, now I KNOW you're making that part up. Nobody drools over me…especially here."

"Please girl! If it weren't for the fact that they all know you have higher standards you would all have more dates than you have nights of the week."

I snorted, "Ooookay, Well, I need to get back out there I guess and see what's going on. Thanks for the save by the way. If I stood there looking like a moron much longer they would have started worrying about the integrity of the program! I swear I have never been less eloquent!" We laughed and left the area, floating back to the nurse's station where I had another stack of charts waiting for me. The new trio was nowhere in sight…thank goodness.

Forty-five minutes later I was a free woman as I made my way down to the locker room to grab my things and head home. The Femmes and I made plans to hang out at my place after we all went home to clean up and regroup. Some major strategizing time was needed to figure out the last twenty-four hours. They had been strange and the only way we were ever going to wrap our heads around it was to sit around sharing a large tub of ice cream and talk our way through it.

When I walked out the front doors of the building to make my way home I was startled by a voice behind me. I turned to see Dr. McCreamy himself leaning against the wall looking smug as hell with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

"Well, well, well, I never dreamed that the sexy independent beauty at the bar would turn out to be one of the famous Femmes I have heard so much about over the past two days."

I chuckled, "Well I never dreamed that the handsome gentleman I met at the bar would turn out to be a cocky new Attending. You know we Femmes have sworn off all Attendings since all the ones here seem to be self-important assholes."

He laughed deeply, shook his head and pushed off the wall to cross the space that separated us. "I like you Dr. Isabella Swan. You really have chops…I like that. You're not one of the simpering little airheads that usually run around a place like this, trying to sink their claws into a rich doctor in hopes of becoming a kept woman…and I really hope you'll accept an invitation to grab some dinner with me. What do you say?"

I stared blankly for a moment, more than a little surprised by his invitation and his observations. "Uh…I…I can't tonight. I already have plans, sorry."

"Then how about tomorrow night? We can grab some supper and you can show me around town…what do you say?"

"Well…uh…"

"Oh come on, I'm not a hot shot attending yet. I just got here; I haven't had a chance to make a name for myself yet. Can you really turn down a downstate boy?"

I laughed, "Okay, fine. Tomorrow night, supper, a quick tour and then its back home again. I'm on the day shift all week."

He clapped his hands together once loudly with a triumphant smile. "Excellent! How about Benihana for supper? I know, I know, it's a bit touristy of me, but I love that place and I've only been a few times since I've visited Chicago."

I laughed, "Sounds good to me. I haven't actually been in quite a few years despite of the fact that I only live a few blocks away from it. It would be nice for a change."

"What…say Seven?"

"Sounds good."

"Where do you live? I'll pick you up."

I instantly thought of the boys and deadpanned. "Uh, how about if we just meet here. It would be easier on both of us."

He laughed. "Alright, it's a date."

I blushed as I turned and made my way down the street toward my apartment. _Holy Shit! What did I just do? You NEVER get involved with the jackass Attendings! It's one of Dr. K's primary rules…but Suzie did have a point, wouldn't we one day be Attendings? We wouldn't be people that you wouldn't want to date. He's new to the area; I mean he's from my neck of the woods for goodness sake. He was a total gentleman at the bar last night. It's possible that he's another Carlisle type guy right? There has to be more than one out there!_

I looked up from my internal debate to find I actually walked right past my building during my mental rant. I groaned, rolled my eyes and turned to make my way back to the door to the apartment.

To my great relief it was empty, but as I leaned down to kick off my shoes I caught sight of the couch and instantly remembered my dream. It all felt so real, the warmth of being in Edward's arms and his scent wrapping around me and incorporating itself in my dream; it was amazing and of course too good to ever be true. Edward would never have those feelings for me.

I sighed as I thought about the dream that would never be, trying to shake the image that would only lead to my own heartache if I ever entertained the idea in reality. Edward was not a one woman type man and he ran away from love as though it were a death sentence.

No, I was better off to forget the mental manifestation of my secret Harlequin addiction and concentrate on my real life options. I had a handsome man who wanted to take me, Bella Swan, out on a date…a real date…and he even called it a date himself. So, he might be one of the evil Attendings our Mama Doc had warned us about…or he might just be a nice guy who happened to land a great job. I would never know if I didn't at least get to know him better and find out for myself, right?

I frowned and shook my head as I ran toward my bedroom to grab a set of comfy clothes to relax in before running back to the bathroom to grab the shower. Since I had missed my morning routine I needed to clear my head of the chaos and relax in the warm streams of water beating down my neck. I would have a girl powwow in a half an hour in order to debate the finer parts of this new and unexpected situation. I would deal with everything then. For now I just needed a break from the drama.

Right on time there was a knock at the door and Alice came in with a gallon bucket of chocolate ice cream, Krista, Sabrina, and Rosalie were right behind her.

"Rose! I didn't even think to invite you…I'm so glad someone else did! It wouldn't be the same without you. Matter of fact, I am officially naming you an honorary Femme! You ladies agree?"

"Hell Ya!" "Sure!" "I don't mind." I heard the other three say and I turned back to see Rose grinning from ear to ear. The girls settled in the living room floor while I ran to the kitchen to grab five spoons, hitting the Pink play list on my iPod when I passed the stereo, making sure it was low enough not to impede our discussion, and settled down in the circle to lean against the couch.

"Sooo…" I started and the girls all nodded in understanding. I waited a few seconds before taking a deep breath and starting in. "He was waiting for me when I left the hospital tonight and asked me out. I told him I had plans tonight so he asked for tomorrow and I sort of said yes."

"What?!" All the girls yelled out in unison, three voices were incredulous while Rose looked excited with a devious twinkle in her eye.

"Well, I mean, he's new to town, and he's from a town near where I grew up. They can't all be bad can they?"

"Yes! They can!" Sabrina blurted from her side of the circle before shoving a big spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"Well, what about Carlisle…I mean Dr. Cullen? There has to be more decent docs out there than JUST him."

"Sweetie, Dr. C is one of a kind, when they built that beautiful, wonderful man they broke the mold. Trust me; there are no others like him." Alice said from beside me.

"What do we know about them?" Rose asked.

I told them all I knew about Trevor, Sabrina seemed to know very little about Chris, but surprisingly Krista had more knowledge than any of us. It seems that she and Dan had exchanged numbers too and had utilized the connection in the two hours since we had bumped into them at the hospital. Chris and Trevor were both transplants from Springfield while Dan had come up from Peoria. He didn't really know a whole lot about the other two, but Dan seemed to be a genuinely sweet guy who went to church and called his mother every Sunday. He was going to be the new addition to the Pediatrics staff. He loved pets, sports, and Nascar and even shared Krista's love for Dale Earnhardt Jr. I smiled as I watched the glow and sparkle in Krista's eyes as she spoke about him. If this man was for real he sounded like the perfect guy for our sweet Krista. I prayed for her sake he was what he seemed to be.

Okay so one down, two mysteries left to go. We compared notes on what we had learned from the gossip, which was very little. The only other information we knew was that both were in plastic surgery, a dream team known for miraculous works in post surgical and post trauma reconstruction.

Halfway through the discussion Rose raised her spoon. We all looked at her as she turned to me and asked a question I could tell she had been dying to ask me all evening.

"So, Bella, what's the story with you and Edward cuddled up on the couch this morning?"

"Ooohhh, good question," Alice squealed next to me bouncing a bit. "You two looked really, really cozy. If we weren't running late I would never have interrupted that insanely intimate moment you two were sharing."

My breath caught in my chest and my eyes widened at the excited little pixie. "What do you mean? Intimate how?"

"Uh Sweetie, you totally had your nose buried in the guy's neck, breathing him in like you were huffing glue and saying "mmm Edward" in your sleep."

I gasped and covered my open mouth with my hand. "Oh my God! Oh my God!" Then I gasped again. "Did you see me kissing him or anything like that?"

She squealed… "No! Did you kiss him Bella?"

I was shaking my head as the red flooded my face. _Oh no, this can't be happening, please tell me that this didn't happen. Shit! What will I say to Edward? 'Uh, sorry I practically molested you on the couch last night, you see I was having this amazing sexy dream about you and how good you smell and look shirtless.' Yeah, right. Jeez, things were already all screwed up and now they're just going to get worse because he's going to get all weird. _Then I thought about his wide surprised eyes and groaned.

"Hello! Earth to Bella…come in Bella." Alice was waving her hand in front of my face. "I think she's gone into shock….BELLA!" She snapped her fingers in front of my face and I finally blinked.

I shook my head and looked at her. "Finally, gesh! So did you kiss him or what?"

"W..well…uh, I was dreaming about him, and well, I don't know. In my dream I kissed his neck not too long before I sniffed him and said the "Mmmm Edward" part and then you interrupted…so," I buried my hands in my face and screamed a bit, "ugh, it's totally possible."

They all started laughing as I grew even redder grabbing a pillow off the couch and holding it over my face as I screamed out loud into it. This was turning out to be the most embarrassing day ever!

**EPOV**

The team and I were sitting in the conference room at the station discussing the tactical training program in Minnesota that we needed to take in a few weeks. One part of SWAT is that, while we might not always have missions to go on, there was a never-ending procession of training we had to undergo to acquire and keep our skills sharp and ready for deployment. Basically SWAT is the closest thing you can get to being in the actual military, and just like soldiers are in perpetual training, so were we.

I was supposed to be listening to the details of the trip and the overall planning needed to execute the faux mission, but my mind was far too distracted with the events of the morning. Bella in my arms. Saying the words out loud to her, I love her, even if she were asleep. Her warmth and scent when she cuddled closer to me, nuzzling her nose into my neck. The shock and excitement when she brushed her beautiful pouty lips across my neck in not one, not two, but three kisses before nuzzling my neck again breathing deeply and murmuring my name. Words cannot describe the feelings that flooded my body when that happened.

I struggled trying to decide what to do next. While initially I thought she might be awake, it didn't take long for me to realize she was sleeping, which was almost even more exciting because that meant she was dreaming of me. The way she cuddled closer and kissed my neck with such intimacy, not only was she dreaming of me, but she was dreaming of me in a profound fashion and even moaning my name. To say I was happy would be a gross understatement. To say I was turned on would be an even bigger understatement. To say I was totally and completely shocked would probably be the one phrase that would come remotely close to describing about half of what I was thinking and feeling.

I was milliseconds away from waking her up and telling her the truth of how I felt about her when Alice's screeching panic broke me from my thoughts. I didn't register what she was saying except the word late. Bella groaned and the tensed in my arms before slowly pulling away, looking at me with surprised eyes. I wondered what I looked like considering that the shock was still pretty much the dominant emotion I was feeling in the moment. Neither of us got a chance to say or do anything as Alice reached over grabbing Bella's hand and tugged knocking me backwards off the couch to land on my back on the floor. She pulled Bella over the top of me and dragged her toward her bedroom chattering the whole way, Bella's voice now just as panicked when she responded to Alice.

I lay there, still in shock for a little bit before finally moving back up to sit on the couch with my elbows rested on my knees and buried my face in my hands. To say that the last twelve hours had been confusion and emotionally charged would be about the twentieth understatement of the day. It was overwhelming how much had changed in my life, in my heart, and in my priorities. Suddenly the most important thing in the world to me was the beauty who had spent the last few hours wrapped in my arms and filling my body and soul with more contentment than I had known in my entire life.

I heard her run down the hallway into the restroom chattering nonstop with Alice. I stared in confusion as I watched the two girls come sprinting into the living room wearing mix matched scrubs, their hair all a mess. Bella leaned over, attempting to shove her feet in her sneakers with her hands full of toiletries. This morning was such a confusing whirlwind. I wished more than anything that we could talk about what had just happened and finish our conversation from when I arrived at the apartment the night before, but there was no time.

In spite of her messy mane that she was haphazardly trying to comb, while juggling the things in her hand and trying to shut the door, Bella was an absolutely beautiful sight to behold. All I could do was stare as she gave me a small apologetic smile in the seconds before the door clicked closed, thus leaving me in the silence of the apartment to wallow in my thoughts and feelings.

I wasn't alone for long. Soon Jasper emerged from Bella's room looking nearly as bewildered as I felt. Emmett and Rose soon followed looking like disgruntled bears being pulled out of hibernation. None of us were very awake or in a particularly good mood so we all sat in silence.

After a few minutes Emmett started to wake up enough to register that my presence this morning was out of place. "What the fuck are you doing here Edward? Didn't you go home last night?"

I sighed and shook my head. "I sort of took your advice last night and explained about the Maggie situation. Bella asked if we could talk more today when she was awake and coherent but then shocked the hell out of me when she offered for me to lie down next to her on the couch, so I did and we fell asleep there together."

All three smiled at me with knowing twinkles in their eyes. I couldn't help but smile back as I thought about all of the wonderful warm feelings that sleeping in Bella's arms gave me. I didn't go into detail about my declarations or Bella's reactions in her sleep; the details weren't necessary because everything I was feeling was written all over my face.

"Well, I hope you two can talk everything out soon and get past all the awkward shit. I'm sick of living in a fucking soap opera. Get that shit sorted and make our girl happy. Get me?"

I laughed. Things really had been a bit like a bad daytime soap lately. Hopefully our talk would go well and we could move past all this confusion and miscommunication and finally be settled into something new that I hoped would be wonderful. I really couldn't imagine it not being great. I loved spending time with Bella. She was just so easy to be around. There was never any pretense with Bella. She told you exactly what she thought and either you liked it or you didn't, it was your choice. I had never actually been around anyone so grounded and real. Emmett was close, he was also one that didn't mask what he was thinking and feeling, but Bella took it to a whole new level and you really couldn't help but love her for it.

After the all day planning meeting for our upcoming two-week trip to Minnesota we went to grab some supper at our favorite diner near the station. It was pretty much a mom and pop greasy spoon type of joint, but they had the best wings in town and the owners were really great people who always treated the officers that came in with great respect. This being the case, while every chain restaurant in a two block radius took a major hit when the economy began to crumble, Hal's Diner seemed to not only maintain it's normal level of business, but it seemed that their business nearly doubled.

I had already decided during the meeting that I was going to grab a quick bite to eat with the guys and then I was going straight to Emmett and Bella's to talk to her. I wanted all the shit aired out in the open, and sooner rather than later. I was about to sink my teeth into a big double bacon cheeseburger when I heard Emmett and Jasper's phones chirping from their hips. They both pulled out their cells, reading the text messages they had just received and exchanged worried glances; they groaned and then cast their gazes on me.

"What?" I asked dropping the sandwich back onto my plate.

They just looked at me apologetically as they stayed disquietingly silent. "Guys, you're freaking me out here, what's wrong? Is Bella okay?"

Another chirp sounded from Emmett's phone and he glanced down at the screen and groaned. Jasper's was a second behind and his reaction matched Emmett's.

"Motherfuckers, if you don't tell me what's going on right now I'm going to fucking punch your lights out. What's wrong?"

Emmett reached over and clamped a hand on my shoulder as he looked at me. "Rose and Alice are at the apartment with Bella and the rest of the girls. It seems that today while they were at work they discovered that the guys from the bar last night are actually new doctors at Northwestern." I groaned knowing this was going to make the whole guy thing with Bella more complicated.

"It gets worse," Jasper mumbled from across the table, "the guy dancing with Bella asked her out on a date tomorrow night and she accepted."

I felt like someone had used the ram to give me a gut shot; the air whooshed out of my lungs and my stomach tightened reflexively. How can this be happening? How can she go from sleeping in my arms this morning and dreaming about me, kissing my neck and murmuring my name in her sleep to accepting a date from that fucking player?! I could feel my heart cracking in my chest as shards began to crumble off its edges.

I rested my elbows on the table and buried my face in my hands trying to steady the room which felt like it was spinning around me. A moment so precious to me obviously meant nothing to her. Fucking Karma, I should have known someday my stupid decisions would come back to bite me in the ass. I have never felt so completely disheartened by anything in my entire life. I finally found a woman to love and I'm going to lose her as soon as I found her.

"Ed, dude, why do you look so completely defeated already? Where the fuck is our friend, the cocky asshole who gets what he wants? Fight motherfucker. If anyone's worth it, it's Bella. Don't be a pussy! Fight for her." Jasper said from across the table.

"We'll even help man. After the way that asshole was acting while he was dancing with Bella…there's no way in hell we're going to just sit back and watch him play my kid sister. You fight for her, and we'll work behind the scenes to help you." Emmett said from beside me patting his shoulder.

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face one more time before looking back up to meet their eyes with new determination. "So where do we start?"

**Rosalie POV**

I smiled and tucked my phone back into my purse after getting a response from Emmett saying that they recognized Trevor as a player already and Edward was going to fight for Bella. I couldn't help but smile. Finally Edward was starting to show a little bit of his potential. I always knew he could be a great guy, if he'd just get his head out of his self-important ass and put someone else ahead of himself for once.

Alice and I had quickly pulled out our phones to text the boys when Bella took a bathroom break. I had seen Edward's face that morning after the girls left and told Alice all about it when she called to invite me over for the gossip fest. I knew that he was finally starting to see what all of us had seen all along. At last he was starting to let his relationship with Bella shift in the direction he wanted it to; I just had to hope that with recent events he wasn't already too late.

Bella came back in and we all sat around finishing off the ice cream as I pumped her for more useful information. The boys were never going to pull all of this off without some covert help from an inside person.

Over the course of the evening the subject changed many times as we bent the conversation back and forth over stories about our lives and our past loves. I have to admit, I was totally shocked by the stories Bella shared.

She was seventeen when she had her first kiss and I laughed when she told us about using Edward as her guinea pig. If only she knew he's give his eye tooth to be able to do that with her now. She told us about Jacob and how he ended up being her first 'real' kiss and also the first to see her topless and to get his grind on with dry humping style, but when she wasn't ready to proceed below the waist or put out for prom he dumped her, leading to the boys kicking his ass and breaking his arm.

Honestly that didn't surprise me. All of those boys adored Bella, especially her brother. He moved heaven and earth for that girl, and he would never do anything to hurt her or leave her behind. That was part of the reason that we weren't living together yet, he didn't want to leave her alone while she was in such an intensive part of her education. We had discussed it many times, and I had to admit that early on in our relationship I resented her a bit for the closeness they shared and how it got in the way of Emmett moving forward with me more quickly, but once I met her and got to know her, it all melted away. Bella was this strange mix of strong and fragile. She lost so much so young and basically Emmett and these boys were all she had left…it created a nearly indescribably and indestructible bond between them that nobody, including myself, could ever break. Emmett assures me that once she gets past her intern year he thinks she will probably be ready for us to take our next step together.

Her next boyfriend was freshman year at NW, but it didn't work out very well. He was the classic geek from head to toe and basically they were more study partners than anything. He was so intimidated by the guys that they never shared more than a few kisses.

She stayed single for a whole year before she met Caleb. They were both sophomores at NW, both premed, and happened to be put together as organic chem lab partners. It seems that he was also the first boy for Bella to share many forms of chemistry with. The nickname O Chem meant a whole lot more to her after being lab partners with Caleb. She said he was a really nice guy too, but a certain group of over protective brother types ended up walking in on a little O Chem action one day and ended up running poor Caleb off for good before she could actually lose her v card to him. That was the day she decided that if and when she managed to finally find another boyfriend, there was no way she was going to let them come within two miles of 'her boys'.

Between school, work, and the boys she hit a dry spell after Caleb making due with battery operated tension relief for the two years before she got involved with Damon. From the sounds of things Damon was a hottie looking a bit similar to Jasper. He was in her first year classes in the premed program so when they had group study sessions she would lie to the boys about them last about five hours longer than they actually did. That way she had time to go on dates with Damon, and eventually they practiced a little O Chem of their own. Damon was her first and actually only to this point. They dated secretly for a year and a half before she found out he was cheating on her with a slutty blonde waitress that worked at his favorite bar. It seems that Bella was the weekend girlfriend while the blonde was his midweek booty call. She says he's still around and she sees him occasionally, but he was a mediocre student at best and she thinks he's on the verge of failing out of the program and will probably not pass his intern test at the end of the year.

I listened to Bella weave her story about Damon I couldn't help but chuckle a little internally in spite of the sad tale when I remembered Emmett cracking up at the bar when we danced last night as he told me Edward just found out Bella wasn't a virgin. All this time he had been building her up to be the perfect virginal angel, and really he wasn't far off. She wasn't a virgin, but she was still quite innocent, that you could tell just by the way she would blush as she told her stories and also knowing exactly how little experience she did have. I also got the feeling that young Damon didn't have that much stamina to go the distance and none of the O Chem they shared happened by way of his dick.

I had been watching Bella closely all night long, especially when talking about Edward. I could see two things quite clearly when we talked about Edward. At the mention of his name she would light up like a roman candle, her face would go all glowy red, but then as quickly as the brightness came it would dim with sadness. It didn't take long to figure it out. A certain beautiful, smart, funny, and intelligent girl didn't believe that she was good enough to garner young Masen's emotions, and probably she knew him well enough to know that he was a commitmentphobe. If they could only get their heads on straight and actually give honest communication a try, I think they could work this shit out. But for now they were both lost in miscommunication and assumptions.

It was nearly eleven when Emmett and Jasper came bellowing into the room and we broke up our little gossip circle for the night. Emmett pleaded with me to spend the night, but I begged off confessing an early shift at work, but I was really just giving Emmett and Bella a chance to talk. I kissed him goodnight and followed Alice and Jasper down the hallway to the elevators.

"How bad do things look?" Jasper asked as he wrapped his arm around a beaming Alice. Her face dropped at the question.

"We really don't know for sure. I was watching her tonight and I think she's trying to convince herself that this Trevor guy might possibly be decent because she's convinced herself that Edward could never have feelings for her."

Jasper nodded, "Yeah, that sounds like Bella. She's never thought too highly of herself, and well, she knows Edward, or knew Edward. It's kind of freaky. In the past few days or so he's almost like a different person in some ways. It's like fucking invasion of the body snatchers or something, but she hasn't been around him to see because of the whole Maggie thing."

"Well, if he doesn't figure that shit out soon, he might be too late."

Jasper looked pale and nauseas, "I sure as fuck hope not. That Trevor guy is a total player. We caught him scoping some chick's ass while he was dancing with Bella last night. If he hadn't have gotten called away we would have kicked his ass."

"Shit!" Alice and I yell in unison. "Why the fuck didn't you guys tell us sooner Jasper? That information would have been much more useful a few hours ago! You do realize what you guys walked in on was a total girls strategy session right? It was all based on trying to figure out the guys. Damn it! And she's probably not going to believe you guys now because of your track record for running decent guys off!"

"What?" Jasper asked trying to look innocent as Alice shot him a narrowed evil look.

"That Caleb guy sounded like the only decent guy Bella's ever dated and you all ran him off."

The elevator doors opened about that time and we were exiting out to the street where we stood talking before getting into our cars to go back to our respective apartments.

Jasper frowned down at the sidewalk as he pushed around a cigarette butt with his toe. "He wasn't so great. I'm not sure what it is about Bella that attracts the assholes, but we found out he was dating not one but two other girls while she was seeing him. We never told her because we didn't want to hurt her so we let her think we ran him off just to be overprotective, but he was an ass."

"Well, damn, can't the girl catch a break?! Did you ever hear about that Damon guy she hid from you guys during med school? Jackass took her v card, kept her around for a year and a half to have fun with on the weekend all the while having a slutty blonde waitress on the side for mid week booty calls. She found out and dumped his ass after kneeing him hard enough that he thought he was going to have to have a testicular retrieval operation to return it back to his ball sack!"

Jasper looked pissed before looking at Alice sadly. "I wish I could say that she had better examples of how men should treat women, but to be honest is it surprising that she would be drawn to guys who treat her that way when she was surrounded by them at home? Until I met you I was no better. Emmett straightened up when he met Rose, and Edward is just now taking his head out of his ass. Hell Andy's been the only decent example for her all these years, but he always kept his girls far away from us for obvious reasons. We never treated her like that of course, she's basically our kid sister, but she was obviously drawn to what she was comfortable with."

We all stood in silence for a while. "Well, we're going to have to approach this Trevor situation carefully. He's already got her snowed and I think the fact that he's from down near where she grew up has her thinking that he's going to be more of a gentleman, which of course you guys have already observed that he isn't. If we push too hard one way then we're going to push her right into his arms."

We finally all said goodnight and climbed into our cars. I closed my eyes and sent up a silent prayer that Bella not get hurt yet again. She deserved a lot better than that. I sincerely hoped that if Edward does manage to win her that he's smart enough to keep his ass on the straight and narrow and actually manages to deserve her in the long run. If he fucked her over she would be completely and totally devastated and I really wasn't sure anything would ever be able to repair that damage.


	11. Heart to Hearts and Really Bad Timing

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Twilight characters, but this plot line is all mine ;).**

_**Author's Note: Hey guys, the new update is here, and guess what, it's a LONG one! Typically my posts have been running between 8,000 and 9,000 words, well this one is something on the order of 12,700. So get comfortable and be prepared for a bit o'drama and alot of switching off POVs! Hope you enjoy!**_

**10. Heart to Hearts and Really Bad Timing**

**Emmett POV**

I watched the door close after Alice, Jasper, and my Rosie walked through it before turning to see Bella disappear down the hallway toward the bathroom. I pulled out my cell phone and sent off a quick text to Edward letting him know that the coast was clear. If he wanted to get his talk in with Bella to straighten things out before this disaster of a date tomorrow, it was now or never.

I have to admit that when I first realized what was going on between Edward and Bella, even though neither one of them could see it, I was pissed off. Edward was my best friend but I knew full well exactly how big of a prick he was and I didn't want him to touch my sister with a fifty-foot pole. Matter of fact, I was so set against it I was about ready to kick him to the curb to keep him away from my sweet innocent sister. She had already been hurt enough by her first two boyfriends and I didn't want to see her hurt again. But then the second day after I made the realization I watched as Edward spent time with Bella. Any time Edward would talk to or interact with Bella his whole persona changed…he appreciated her in a way that I had never seen him show respect to another human being - including his aunt and uncle who raised him. Edward really listened when Bella spoke and while he would joke around and tease her, he was never cruel or crude with her…miraculously enough Edward the manwhore was actually a gentleman with my sister. It was then that I knew that someday my little sister would be the girl who would change Edward Masen's whole world…that is, when he finally took his head out of his ass long enough to realize it.

I started to move into my bedroom in order to distract myself and stay out of the way while they talked when I noticed Bella coming back down the hallway toward me with a determined look on her face. I tried to hide the grimace expecting one of several things: either she was pissed and I was about to catch hell, she was upset and wanted a shoulder to cry on which I always provided but never really felt like I was very good at, or she wanted to talk to me about something serious but she was concerned as to what my reaction was going to be. I looked around seeing no path of escape, so instead I settled into the cushions of the couch and tried to mentally prepare myself for whatever was coming.

Bella crossed the room and came to sit on the other end of the couch with her legs crossed under her with her whole body facing me. She tucked her hands thoughtfully into her lap. Okay…so it was time for a serious discussion of which she was worried about my reaction.

"Emmett, can I ask you a question?" she asked timidly looking down at her hands as her thumbs twiddled in her lap.

"Sure kiddo, what's up?"

She looked up at me with real worry in her eyes as they locked with mine. "Am I holding you back?"

I'm sure my surprise was evident on my face. Why in the hell would she think she was holding me back?

"Holding me back? What do you mean?"

She looked down at her hands with that sadness welling in her eyes that she really only shared with me, the rest of the time she hid it behind walls of sarcasm and swagger. "I mean am I keeping you from living your life? Am I the reason that you haven't moved forward in your relationship with Rose? Is that why you haven't moved in with her or asked her to marry you yet?"

I felt completely blindsided. How the fuck do I answer this question? I made it a point to never lie to Bella, especially when asked something directly. Do I feel like she's holding me back? No. But at the same time would I already be living with Rose if I didn't have Bella to worry about? Probably.

I know that I'm all she has left, and she's not ready right now to be living on her own, not with the stresses of her internship. Of all the years she's struggled through school, this has definitely been the most stressful for her. I'm certainly not going to add to that stress by moving out in the middle of it. But do I feel resentment toward her because of the situation? Hell NO! I love my sister and I would never give up the chance to help her out and make sure she's okay.

"Em?" I heard Bella ask with tension rising in her voice. I was taking too long to answer and she was becoming upset at the thought that she was holding me back.

"Sorry Bells, I was just trying to think of the right way to answer you. No, I don't feel like you are holding me back. I'm exactly where I want to be right now. Would I like to live with Rose? Sure, but it's not like there's a rush or anything. I love Rosie and she loves me and that's what's important. I know beyond any doubt that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, so another year or two before we share a home isn't that big a deal."

I watched Bella's face closely and I could tell that my words were not enough to keep her guilt at bay. Her face fluctuated through several different emotions before it settled on sadness and guilt as the tears began to flow down her face.

"Emmett, I'm so sorry! I've messed up your life so much. Your life is nothing like it should have been. I got in the way of you enjoying your college years and now I'm getting in the way of you moving on with your life with the woman that you love. It's not right. You shouldn't still be sacrificing your happiness for mine!"

I opened my mouth to protest but she looked up with determination as she covered my mouth. "No, don't argue. I know it's true. Here's the thing…I'm a grown woman now and I'm fully capable of taking care of myself. I want you to move out Emmett. I want you to go move in with Rosalie and move on with the rest of your life. You deserve it and you don't need to be babysitting me anymore."

I was shaking my head since her hand was still firmly planted over my mouth desperate to talk her out of her overzealous notions.

"No, Emmett, no arguments. I will find a new roommate or something…one way or another I'll figure it out, but you and Rose deserve to be happy. I will not let your happiness be dependent on the timeline of my life. Now you go call Rose right now and ask her to combine your lives and hopefully she won't mind if you move in with her since this apartment is so convenient for me with the hospital. If that doesn't work then I'll find a place of my own or move into Rose's place and she can move in here, but either way you two are going to be moving in together by the end of the month. Got it?!"

I chuckled at my bossy little sister. "Bella, this isn't necessary. I don't want to move. Things are fine the way they are."

"Emmett Charles Swan…get your ass in your room and call your girlfriend and ask her to live with you right now or so help me I'll knee you in the nuts!"

Just as she said that I heard the knock on the door indicating that Edward had arrived so I held my hands up in defeat and retreated to my room to call Rose. I wasn't sure if I was ready to move out and leave my baby sister on her own just yet, but I knew that this was an argument I wasn't going to be winning. When Bella made up her mind about something you might as well give in…besides I would stay close and if it didn't work out I could always move back. And I had to admit that the idea of not having to leave Rose or have her leave me at night was very tempting.

I closed the door to my room as I heard Edward's voice carry down the hallway. I crossed over to my stereo turning it on to give the a bit more privacy before picking up my cell phone and calling Rose to tell her about Bella's proclamation. I figured she would either laugh telling me to move my ass in as soon as possible or get annoyed and tell me to call back when I'm asking on my own and not being bullied into it by my younger sister.

**BPOV**

I stood there staring at Edward's darkly circled eyes already feeling emotionally drained from my heart to heart with Emmett. I was not in any mood to face the drama that was Edward tonight especially when I was still barely vertical after only having three hours of sleep over the past two days.

"Can I come in?" Edward asked sounding nearly as exhausted as I felt.

"Sure." I moved aside and closed the door behind him before following him further into the living room.

"Um, these are for you," he said with a sheepish smile handed me a bouquet of lavender Calla Lilies, which just happened to be my favorite.

I blushed a bit and looked down at the beautiful flowers taking them timidly from his hands. "Thank you, they're beautiful."

He smiled and I could see a slight twinkle in his eyes. "You are very welcome; consider them a thank you for last night. I know this is going to sound strange, but that was the best sleep I have gotten in as long as I can remember."

I blinked at him a few times trying to make sure that I was actually awake and not having another one of my Harlequin inspired dreams because this was really quite un-Edward-like behavior. I reached my free arm behind my back pinching my the flesh of my back and finding that I was in fact awake, and not only that, Edward was staring at me looking a bit sheepish and embarrassed as I fumbled for the right response to his comment.

"Uh, you're welcome…and I slept really well myself." I felt the blush deepen on my cheeks then I remembered my earlier conversation with Alice about my actions in my sleep and wondered anxiously if I hadn't kissed him in my sleep as well.

Suddenly I realized we were still standing awkwardly in the living room and I still had the flowers in my hand. I gestured for Edward to have a seat on the couch while I went to get a vase from the kitchen for the flowers. I struggled to gain control over my nerves as I walked to the kitchen retrieving the vase and adding water before placing the flowers in it and returning to the living room to sit it on the entertainment center.

"I know it's late and you're tired, but I really wanted us to talk and not let all this drama between us drag out another day. I miss you."

I crossed the room with a smile and collapsed on the couch next to him. "Well that's not really my fault now is it? I'm not the one who was running away from you for the past two weeks after initiating a kiss in Andy's hospital room."

He dropped his head back against the cushion and sighed, his hand immediately reaching up to grasp the bridge of his nose. "I know, oh God do I know. I fucked everything up to high heaven and I know it's all completely my fault."

"Not going to hear any argument from me slick," I retorted sarcastically trying to lighten the mood because it was strange for things to be so serious between Edward and me.

He glanced over at me with a halfhearted smirk before I continued. "I'll be honest though, I missed you too and we both know that if I weren't having my own freak out about talking to you I wouldn't have let you run away for two weeks either. I would have chased you down and made your stupid ass talk to me, so I have to take some blame, at least for that part."

He laughed, "I guess that's true, but the bulk of the responsibility from beginning to end lies totally on my head and I'm sorry. I'm sorry about all of it."

At this point I turned my face away and bit my lip trying to hold back the emotion that was threatening to come forth because his admission included the kiss and I really didn't want that to have been a simple mistake. Deep down inside I was hoping that there was more to that kiss and to have it so blatantly dismissed stung terribly. I continued to listen behind the curtain of my hair separating our faces as I attempted to clamp down my boiling emotions and keep them from seeping through my eyes in the form of telltale tears.

"I should never have kissed you and then just ignored you like that. I am so, so sorry for that. To be honest I sort of psyched myself into believing that you didn't think it meant anything and that there was nothing to talk about, even though I should have known better. Then there was the whole Maggie mess…oh God that was the stupidest thing I have ever done."

I felt my stomach clench as the memories of seeing him splayed out on that couch with Maggie, his hand already buried under the fabric of her sleazy red lace bra. I mean what self respecting nurse wears that kind of underwear with scrubs for crying out loud!

"I really don't know what I was thinking other than like I told you last night, she was a good little actress putting on a show and all I was thinking was that it could be a chance to show you that I was someone worthy of your respect and friendship. I was blind to the fact that she wasn't the sweet girl she pretended to be and that after the kiss we shared that it wouldn't be a total slap in your face for me to get involved with her. It was just one great big clusterfuck and I'm sorry for all of it."

He turned to me now on the couch and reached over to pull my face to look back at his and then put his hand back on his lap as he continued. "The truth of the matter is Bella, you mean more to me than any other woman on this planet and I would never consciously hurt you. I hope you know that."

I stared into his deep green eyes that were so full of sincerity and my heart instantly melted. For a moment I wanted to believe that his words meant much more than they really did, that the feelings he had for me were of a more romantic persuasion, even in spite of knowing his record and that it would most likely end in heartbreak. I couldn't help it, as much as I tried not to; I was falling for a born heartbreaker.

I gulped and shook my head a bit trying to pull myself back to reality as I willed myself to answer and not let my conflicted emotions show on my face. "I know Edward."

We sat in quiet for a few minutes watching each other timidly. Three separate times I saw his hand twitch and pick up from his lap only to return to its original position and rub against his thigh. I watched a few different emotions flit across his face before I saw his jaw tighten and he began to speak the words he finally decided on.

"So I hear the guy from the bar is a new doctor and you're going on a date with him."

I looked up at him in surprise wondering how he had heard about the Trevor date already, before realizing that Alice must have told Jasper who in turn blabbed to Edward. Damn, I had so wanted to keep the Trevor situation to myself until I could figure out what was going on there. The last thing I needed was for the boys to go all caveman on me before I ever knew if I actually even liked the guy or not.

"Yeah, he caught me when I was leaving work tonight and asked me to join him for dinner, but I already had plans with the girls, so he asked about tomorrow night and I agreed. I kind of feel bad for him being new to Chicago and all. It's not a big deal, just dinner and a bit of a tour of the city and then calling it a night. I have day shift all week so it's not going to be a big deal or anything." I was rambling…I couldn't help it though. The more I talked the more Edward seemed to slump on the couch, which confused me.

"Oh," he answered in a bit more of a whisper and looked down at his hands fidgeting on his lap. It was so strange to see Edward acting so timid and quiet. Edward was always the cocky type, all swagger and snark, always ready with a know-it-all comeback or sarcastic remark. The longer I sat there watching him the more confused I got.

We sat in the quiet a few minutes before he looked up at me with a furrowed brow. "Bella, please don't go out with that guy. He's bad news. Trust me; he's up to no good."

I felt my body tense and my own brow furrow; my arms crossed and I went immediately on the defensive. "Edward, you don't know anything about him. How would you know? You can't make judgments about people like that without even getting to know them. You've never even spoken two words to the guy."

He sat up straighter in his seat and crossed his arms, his voice getting louder the longer he spoke. "I know a hell of a lot more than you do Bella. You are just so blinded by what you want to see that you can't see what's right in front of your face. He's a player Bella. He was working you from the first minute he said hello to you. I watched the whole damn thing from across the room. He watched you dance with the girls and purposefully ignored you when you sat down to draw interest. After he started talking you he ignored Sabrina to boost your self-esteem and then he slowly worked on getting you to let down your guard. It was a classic player move and I sat there and watched you fall for it hook, line, and sinker."

I answered back with my voice growing equally louder as I stood up gesturing at Edward in my anger. "What the hell Edward?! You were sitting there all night critiquing my interactions with people. What gives you the right? And not only that, but maybe it wasn't an act. Maybe he's a little shy, or wasn't sure if I would be interested…just because that's how you work doesn't mean that the entire male population would do operate the same way. Not everyone is always working an angle."

We were in an all out yelling match. Edward stood to face me and we stood toe to toe. "See Bella, you're so blind. Just because you are a good person doesn't mean that everyone you run into is going to be a good person too. God, don't you see? I just don't want to see that asshole hurt you!"

"Oh, so you're the only one allowed to hurt me and get away with it huh?" It was a low blow and I knew it. I saw him wince a moment before the anger burned in his green irises again. "And let me tell you something else…just because you're an arrogant asshole that uses women for his own pleasure and tosses them aside doesn't mean that everyone you run into is going to be like that either! Fuck Edward! I just don't get you! You obviously don't want me, but you don't want me to be with anybody else either. You've done this for years…always running off anyone who might possibly be interested in me…keeping me tragically alone while you go and get your rocks off with whatever bimbo is closest, keeping me safely at home to come home to and talk to and be your friend."

Then my eyes grew wide as realization hit, "Holy Shit! Damn, I never saw it before. I'm your fucking whore!"

He stepped closer and we were now inches apart, both of us panting a little in our anger. "EXCUSE ME?! What the FUCK are you talking about?" Edward yelled in my face as his eyes grew wide and his eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "I have never touched you. The only thing I have ever done was kiss you that one time, and then I kept my distance from you after that so you wouldn't think that, so how the hell can you accuse me of that now?"

I shook my head feeling my lips purse into a narrow line. "Oh no Edward, you never touched me, you had all your little sluts to take care of your physical needs. No, no…I am something even worse. I am your EMOTIONAL whore. I'm the little girl you keep single and off to the side to run to and talk to and meet whatever emotional needs you have…always keeping me off the market and at your ready disposal when you feel the need to have an emotional connection with another human being."

"Oh Bella, would you stop! You're being ridiculous!"

"Am I Edward? Am I really? Can you honestly say that a part of you didn't run off all of those other guys in my life in my past because you wanted to keep me all to yourself? Didn't you feel somewhere deep inside that if little Bella managed to actually find someone else to have a relationship with that suddenly you would lose your one legitimate relationship in your life outside of the guys? Come on Edward…be honest…be honest with me and yourself for once."

He stared at me for a long time, still tense with his jaw muscles tightly clenched, but his eyes held something else. I knew that anger wasn't really present anymore, but I couldn't pinpoint what was there. I stood my ground outwardly, keeping my eyes locked on his, my arms crossed, my body at attention, but inside a herd of butterflies had taken up residence and were in full frantic flight. I found myself instantly battling the impulse to reach out to molest his soft messy bronze hair with my hands while assaulting his lips with my own. His dark deep green eyes penetrated my own with such intensity it sent shivers down my spine. I closed my fists tighter in an effort to make my body hold its ground.

Finally after what felt like an eternity I saw his body relax a little and his shoulders slumped again and he was once again this new strange unsure Edward that I had never seen before. "Maybe," he replied weakly.

"Maybe?" I wasn't expecting his answer. I expected him to argue, to rail against my proclamation, to deny it all. I also wasn't expecting my own reaction to his response…excitement. Somewhere deep inside it thrilled me that I really was something more to him emotionally than a sister figure.

He opened his mouth and his hand went up as he took a half step toward me; his face soft and his eyes glistening slightly and then he stopped looking conflicted. I cocked my head in confusion trying to discern what was going on in his mind; nothing about Edward's reactions were making sense to me tonight.

"Bella…" He started and then stopped again, looking down at his shoes before shaking his head and plunging his hands in his pockets. "Fuck, I feel like a damn thirteen year old trying to ask a girl to a dance."

My eyes widened at the idea. What did this mean? What was he trying to say?

He looked up again and took a deep breath. "Bella…I…I think you're not entirely wrong about the whole 'keeping you for myself to meet my emotional needs' thing. You've always been special to me. I could always talk to you in a way that I've never been able to talk to anybody else, not the guys, not my parents, not my Aunt and Uncle, not anybody. So maybe in the back of my mind I was doing that in a way, but I think there was more to it than that. Bella…I…"

His voice trailed off again and I watched, waiting to hear what he would say next as my heart pounded in my chest. "I….I," I watched as he stuttered looking so uncomfortable and then he flushed red and ducked his head. "It's late; I need to let you get to sleep."

My heart sank. I knew that wasn't what he was going to say, that whatever it was would be monumental and that he couldn't find the guts to put it out there right now. He was still doing it. He was always going to do it. He pulled me in and let me be close to him, but only a certain distance before he would throw up his walls and block me out again. He hinted and played with his self imposed intimacy boundaries where I was concerned. But he would never be a man, take a step up to follow through with any of the things he really felt for me and there was definitely more there behind his eyes than a sisterly bond. Behind those beautiful green eyes I finally recognized the emotion hiding there…it was love…but he couldn't accept it or admit it to me or anyone else. I closed my eyes trying to push back the tears that were threatening to spill as I replied in a defeated tone. "Okay Edward, thank you for the flowers. Have a good night."

"Good night Bella," he whispered, laying his hand on my bicep as he passed me walking to the door. I felt the warmth of his touch tingling in my arm even after it was removed and the tears refused to stay at bay any longer.

Before I knew what I was doing I heard my voice crack in the air. "Edward?" I didn't turn to look at him, but I heard his footsteps stop behind me.

"Yes?" He asked, his voice barely audible behind me. I could tell from the sound of it that he was still facing away from me as well and I threw in the towel.

"Be careful on your way home and I hope you sleep well tonight."

There was a long pause before he finally answered back, "Thanks Bella…you too."

Moments later I heard the apartment door open and close. I was alone again as the sobs began to make my shoulders shudder and I sank to my knees. Try as I might, I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer. Jasper was right, I loved that man, as bull headed, whorish, and emotionally stunted as he might be, I still loved him in spite of it all. I really had fallen for a heartbreaker, and without even trying he was slowly destroying my heart. If I had any chance for survival, I needed to move on to find love or eventually there would be nothing left of my heart to crush.

I stayed there for a while letting my tears flow. I wallowed in my feelings of defeat before finally getting up and making my way to my bedroom now more determined than ever to make the best of my date the next night with Trevor. Trevor might not be the one to mend my broken heart, but if I don't give him a chance then I will never know.

I climbed into my bed and despite the fact that I only had three hours of sleep over the past two days, I found sleep difficult to come by, finally drifting off sometime around two in the morning.

**EPOV**

I walked through the door of the apartment and out to the street where I slowly headed toward my building, kicking myself harder with every step.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! How fucking hard it is it to look the beautiful woman in the eye who you know is the only one that will ever hold your heart and tell her you love her? Three little, tiny, simple words…I…LOVE…YOU, and I couldn't get them out. I stood there and stared at her beautiful face pleading for me to admit what she could tell I wanted to say. I saw it in her eyes…she shared my feelings too…we were on the same page in that moment, we were both feeling the same things and this was my big chance and I just froze! FUCK! What the fuck is wrong with me?

And now…now she was going to go on the date with that mother fucking player and I can't do a damn thing about it. I know Bella. If I just would have said it she would have cancelled the damn date and been honest with the guy that she had feelings for someone else and she didn't want to lead him on. That was just Bella for you.

Instead of going out with him, I could have asked her to go out with me and I would have gotten to spend an amazing night enjoying my Bella's company, but no…I fucking froze. I was so distracted by the basic physical attraction I had for her that I lost my whole focus for being there and panicked.

As she stood there her whole body wound tightly as stood face to face with me, inches apart, and all I could think about was what it would feel like to hold her in my arms and kiss the living shit out of her. I daydreamed for a moment of her reaction if I just reached out and fucking pulled her into my arms, crashing my lips to hers and instantly parting them to caress her tongue with my own. She would probably stand stiff at first in surprise, but as the passion mounted between us and my tongue would tease her mouth she would reach up those beautiful little hands and wrap them in my hair scratching my scalp with her nails and when we would part she would sigh a little flooding my face and mouth with her beautiful warm breath and look up at me with those deep brown eyes and I would see her feelings for me reflected there.

Then I pulled myself out of my daydream and remembered what we were talking about, what she was calling me out on…I knew she was right and it made me feel a bit sick, but at the same time, so much had changed for me in the last month. I wanted to tell her how I felt, to tell her that now I understood my feelings for her – the ones that I never understood in the past, that for years I felt an ache for her and I mistook it for something entirely different. How the hell do you tell someone that most of your life you had a black hole in the middle of your soul that ate away at your faith in people and especially in love? How do I tell her that being in her presence over the past seven years made it shift and tug within my chest, expanding and contracting in direct correlation to my relationship with her, but admitting I love her and thinking for even the slightest of moments that my love might be reciprocated, it fills in immediately? You can't…you'd sound like a fucking lunatic to admit something like that to someone. So I panicked and I just couldn't tell her. I know it's true, I love her, and I love her more than anything…so why couldn't I just have told her even just the most basic truth? Because I'm a fucking emotional invalid…that's why! Ugh…someone just kill me now!

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning with puffy eyes and a headache. I dressed for work and stopped by Starbucks on my way to the hospital for my daily caffeine fix to aid in facing the day ahead of me. Work was pretty typical and I rushed out of the hospital as soon as I could to shower and dress for my date.

I wanted to say I was more excited for the date, but honestly I couldn't help but wish I were meeting Edward instead of Trevor. I know I'd have to get over it but I just couldn't seem to shake the idea of being with Edward like that…to get dressed up and go out on the town on his arm, laughing at his jokes and stories. We would sit at a table for two in the corner of some dark little bistro and get lost in our own little Edward/Bella world. It would be so easy and natural…a far cry from the night I faced which almost certainly would end up being awkward and tricky.

I sighed and looked at my reflection in the mirror before I began blow drying my hair. I wish I could just stay home and curl up in my bed with a good book and mope over the events of the night before, instead of forcing myself to go on a date with someone new. I threw on a light dash of make up before returning to my room to decide what to wear. I already knew I wasn't going to dress up like I did on girl's night. If this guy was going to like me, then I wanted him to like the real me, not the fake overly girly me that he bumped into at Dooley's.

Okay, well, I wasn't going to be totally myself because then I would show up in comfy jeans and a t-shirt with my red converse, my hair tucked in a ponytail and that just wasn't adequate for an actual date…so instead I opted for a pair of black skinny jeans paired with my emerald green satin wrap top. I wore my favorite black leather blazer and a pair of black ballet flats. It was more me than the dress the other night, but classy enough for a date.

I took a quick spin in front of the mirror to make sure I looked alright. My hair was down and straight, my outfit didn't flaunt too much of my form, but it didn't hide it either; thus giving off the appropriate vibe for a first date, and my makeup looked fairly decent considering I was the one who did the applying. Nodding in approval with a sigh, trying to prepare myself for the night ahead of me, I grabbed my purse from my nightstand and opened and walked down the hallway to find that the boys invaded our living room and were debating over which song to do next on Rock Band.

I walked through on my way to the front door saying 'hi' as I passed only to hear a wolf whistle from the couch. I turned around to see the guys all smiling up at me including Andy, who was sitting on the couch with his legs propped up and a big smile on his face.

"Andy! Nobody told me that they released you!" I cried. I ran across the room to hug him tightly. "I'm sorry I didn't make it up to see you the past couple of days. I was having a weird week."

"Oh it's okay. Look at you beautiful! Where are you headed looking all dressed up and pretty!" He was beaming up at me obviously knowing the whole story but feigning ignorance.

"Please, I'm quite sure you've heard from these old biddies that I have a date tonight." I glanced up to roll my eyes at the guys only to lock eyes with Edward who was sitting in the corner watching me with a sad look in his eyes. I nodded toward him before turning back to Andy. "Speaking of which, I'm meeting him in front of the hospital at seven and I'm going to be late if I don't leave right now."

Andy frowned, "What? He's not even enough of a gentleman to pick you up?"

I laughed, "Oh no, he offered…I just knew better than to let him within fifty feet of you guys, so I suggested meeting there. Besides, I don't know the guy well enough to trust him with my address yet." I winked at Andy who winked back and smiled.

"That's our smart girl," he drawled before squeezing my hand. "Now get out of here before we make you late."

I smiled, waved saying my goodbyes and stepped out of the door and made my way down to the street to walk toward the hospital, taking my time to steel my nerves along the way.

As I neared the front entrance of the hospital I saw him leaning against the wall in the same place he had been yesterday when he asked me out. His knee bent and his right foot once again propped against the wall behind him. To say he looked hot would be an understatement as he stood there in a pair of dark black jeans, a tight fitting white silk button down shirt, with the top three buttons open to show the top of his sculpted chest, and a black leather trench coat. He smiled when he saw me and his dark brown eyes seemed to smolder as he pushed off the wall and strode forward to meet me on the sidewalk.

"You look fantastic Bella," he intimated as his eyes traveled up and down the front of my body. I did take notice that his gaze didn't linger too long in any particular place, pleasing me with his gentlemanly actions already this evening. Surely the player Edward keeps claiming him to be wouldn't act so respectfully.

"Thanks," I replied, blushing a bit as my gaze fell to the sidewalk in front of me before I forced myself to look back up at him through my eyelashes. "You look really nice too."

We stood in an awkward silence for a few moments before he spoke up. "Well, our reservations are for seven thirty, so we should probably head that way," he said offering his arm to me. I reached my right hand out and placed it on his arm with a smile. "Well Miss Chicago expert, why don't you direct this newbie in the right direction." I smiled and turned the right direction tugging his arm slightly to guide him slowly down the street toward Benihana.

We engaged in small talk as we made our way to the restaurant. Things weren't quite as easy for me as they were with the rest of the Femmes or my boys, but they weren't too terribly awkward either. My biggest issue was dealing with my humiliating blush every few minutes.

We entered the restaurant ten minutes early and stood in the entryway talking while we waited for our place at one of the grill tables where a chef would be cooking our meal in front of us. Soon we were led to the back of the room, we were seated at a table and then our chef arrived to cook for us. Anytime I had come in the past, we either had enough people to fill a whole table, or we were seated with strangers, but tonight we were seated alone, which instantly made me concerned as to how much money he had spent to reserve us a private table. I really didn't like the idea of him spending so much, but at the same time, it was kind of nice to be able to get to know each other without people around to hear our conversations.

We laughed and watched in awe as the chef expertly chopped the meal while flipping his knives and even catching the shrimp tails in the top of his chef's hat, but all too soon the entertaining distraction was finished and we were left to eat and try to carry on a conversation. It started off a bit awkward, mainly because I was feeling so stinking self conscious, but thankfully I eventually snapped myself out of it and said 'screw it, I'm going to be myself and if he doesn't like me then tough shit'. Suddenly things became much more relaxed.

"So, I just don't get the concept of chopsticks," I finally said shaking my hand that had cramped up as I tried to pick up a slippery vegetable. "I mean it's all well and good when you're eating big things like a nice jumbo shrimp, but the rest of it is ridiculous…and don't even get me started on trying to eat rice with the darn things."

Trevor laughed, "Well you're supposed to scoop it up like this." He reached over to my rice to demonstrate the technique since had had chosen noodles.

I laughed, "Yeah, but look, you lost half of your rice before you got it to your mouth. It's no wonder the Asian women are so tiny, they get a full work out just trying to get the damn food to their mouths."

He threw his head back with a hearty laugh; I chuckled, chewing on my lip a little in shy appreciation of how handsome he was when he really smiled. This was the third time since I loosened up that I managed to see this smile, it was so much better than his handsome seductive smile that he usually threw around.

"So, Bella, explain to me how it is that a pretty, funny, smart as hell girl like you is still single," Trevor asked out of the blue as he picked his beer up to his mouth for a long drink.

"Hmm…well there are a couple of reasons. First of all, I am a very ambitious person, having dedicated the last six and a half years of my life to getting my medical degree and now I'm up to my waist in my intern year, so I haven't had much time to date. Secondly, of the few times that I have managed to date, my brother and his friends have done a very thorough job of scaring off my suitors. I kept my last boyfriend a secret from them for a year and a half until I broke things off because I found out that he wasn't exactly faithful. I can put up with a lot of things, but infidelity is not one of them."

I looked over to see him shift uncomfortably in his seat and gaze down at his food with great interest, too much interest. When he looked up he had a sad look in his eyes. "I've been there. It's not a good place to be." With that he looked back down at his spicy looking dish and began to eat again with renewed focus.

I reached a hand out to touch is forearm in comfort when I heard a laugh that sounded familiar. I looked toward the sound, but didn't see anybody I knew. My gaze snapped back to Trevor when I felt his hand cover mine that was now perched on his forearm. He looked over at me with an odd expression as he squeezed my hand in appreciation before sighing and lifting my hand to his lips. He kissed the back of it softly and then placed it back on the table between us as he turned toward me.

"You're a really sweet girl Bella. Thank you."

"Broken hearts have to stick together right?"

He smiled and I smiled back, ready to change the subject when I heard the laugh again and looked back toward the direction it had originated from.

"What is it Bella?" Trevor asked with concern marring his face.

"I keep hearing a laugh that sounds just like Alice's, but she's supposed to be at a family function tonight, so it can't be her." I shook my head and looked back to Trevor. "Sorry, it's just bugging me."

He chuckled and then changed the subject. "How do you like your Teriyaki Steak?"

"MMMM, it's really good. Would you like a taste?" I used my chopsticks to pick up a piece of sauce covered steak and gestured toward him offering to place it on his plate. He nodded and smiled but instead of letting me put it on his plate he leaned forward and ate it from my chopsticks with his mouth and moaned in pleasure. I sat there for a moment with my mouth agape in shock. Even in the year and a half Damon and I spent together, he had never eaten off of my silverware. I was trying to figure out if I was grossed out by his act of familiarity or excited by it.

"Mmmm, that IS good," he intimated excitedly. "Here, try a bite of mine." He picked up a piece of his Seafood Diablo, reaching his chopsticks toward my mouth for me to reciprocate his act of intimacy.

I faltered and flushed nervously, "Uh, I don't know. I'm sort of a wimp when it comes to spicy stuff."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad. Just try a bite." He smiled that genuine smile at me and I just couldn't resist. I leaned forward and carefully pulled the sauce covered seafood from his chopsticks. I watched him through my eyelashes and began to chew.

I think my jaws had only contracted three maybe four times before the fire took over my senses and I felt my eyes grow wide just as they began to water. I quickly reached for my napkin where I spit out the burn inducing food and instantly guzzled my soda. It dulled the burn but still had not sated the heat. I could hear his laughter in the background. In my desperation to put out the fire, reached over and grabbed his beer since there were no alternatives at the table and my body would not survive until the server could bring me a refill. I tipped back the glass, guzzling nearly the entire thing before finally feeling that the burn had dimmed nearly completely. I looked over at Trevor apologetically.

His face was red as he bent over grabbing his stomach in laugher. I rolled my eyes. "I TOLD you I had issues with spicy. Holy crap…that was like a five alarm fire in my mouth!"

He chuckled some more before gesturing to the waitress for more drinks. "Remind me to never take you for Indian then. This is nothing compared to Indian food!"

I smiled at him ruefully and then I heard the laugh again. I looked up just in time to see Alice crossing toward the restroom. "I thought that was her," I mumbled before yelling 'Alice' across the room. She looked over with a big smile and made her way over to our table.

"Bella! I forgot you were going to be here tonight! Hi Trevor." I noticed that she was less enthusiastic as she greeted Trevor.

"What are you doing here Alice?" I asked her a little suspicious of my pixie friend.

"Well, I told you I had a family function silly. I'm here with my parents. Hey, would you like to come meet them? Can you let me borrow your date for a few minutes Trevor? I'd really like to introduce her while we're all here and then I'll bring her right back to you."

He nodded and smiled as Alice pulled me quickly around the corner toward the restroom. "I really need a pit stop first," she said with a smile as we entered the restroom. She rushed into a stall and then came out smiling as she washed her hands and checked her hair and makeup in the mirror.

"So Bella, how is the date going? You two looked quite cozy." She had a smile on her face, but I couldn't help noticing that wasn't entirely genuine.

"It's fine. He's a nice guy and we've been laughing a lot tonight. I think I'll probably go out again with him if he asks."

She nodded with a far off look in her eyes before she turned to me smiling. "Okay, you have to come and meet Mr. and Mrs. Brandon! Come on!"

She dragged me to a table where a large group was gathered around the grill table and she introduced me to each person. Mr. and Mrs. Brandon actually seemed pretty down to earth considering their elevated place in society. Mr. Brandon owned Brandon pharmaceuticals and the family was loaded…so loaded that they actually lived in a penthouse in the Hancock building. Both of her parents looked at me with bright interested eyes and genuine smiles when Alice told them all about our place with the Femmes and our newly cemented friendship. They politely invited me over to dinner sometime before Alice gave me a quick hug with a wish for a good rest of the night before I returned to the table.

I was grateful that Trevor didn't seem upset with me for bailing on him for so long. In my absence our drink refills had arrived so I sat down taking a long drink before taking another bite of food and shyly resuming the conversation.

Twenty minutes later we had finished our food and sat talking and laughing together. When I looked down at my watch I was shocked to find that it was already 8:30. I looked up at Trevor apologetically. "I'm sorry, I know I promised we could do a tour, but it's awfully late already. Would it be okay if we just maybe went to Dooley's for a quick drink and then called it a night instead?"

He looked over pouting a second before smiling at me teasingly, "Only if you promise to give me a rain check on that tour. I really need to be shown the ropes by someone who knows a bit more of the city outside of the hospital and Michigan Avenue."

I laughed and reached my hand out to shake his, "Deal!" I chirped. He reached forward and took my hand in his, but instead of shaking it he just held it ran his thumb over the back of it a couple of times as he looked into my eyes sending a chill of excitement down my back.

He quickly paid and then to my surprise reached out and took my hand, holding it as we walked toward Dooley's. Just before we reached Dooley's I thought I recognized the back of a head about a half a block behind us and Trevor opened the door for me. I had to step inside before they got close enough for me to get a good look.

It was a slow quiet night in the bar, which was unusual. I was a little worried that the bad economy might be hitting my dear Mama D a little harder these days and I hoped that she would fare the lull well. Trevor started to head toward a booth in the back, but I tugged on his hand shaking my head.

"I want you to meet somebody," I said with a smile, pulling him to a bar stool and directing him to sit as I hopped up on the one next to him. Within seconds a wide smiling Mama D was standing in front of me leaning on the bar.

"Hi Mama D! How's it hangin'?"

"Low and Slow sugar, low and slow. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I need to come up with something to bring the crowds in on these weeknights. The weekends are still going great, but the weeknights are really getting bad. But never you mind about that chickadee, I want to know who this hot little number is that you brought in here."

"Mama D, this is Trevor Sellers, he's one of the new docs over at the hospital. I actually met him the other night when the Femmes during our girl's night out. Trevor, this amazing lady is Ms. Delia Dooley, better known as Mama D, my neighbor and the proprietor of this lovely establishment."

Mama wiped her hand behind the counter on a towel and reached her hand out to shake with Trevor. Trevor smiled back and shook her hand enthusiastically before reaching over to take my hand that was laying on the bar resulting in Mama's eyes widening just moments before her smile grew even larger.

"Well, well, well. So would this be a date?"

I nodded and she smiled, "Well fantastic. What can I get for you kids?"

"I'll have a rum and coke, but I have an early day tomorrow, so please don't let me have more than two alright?' She nodded. Trevor ordered a Guiness and we sat at the bar making a bit more small talk. I glanced over Trevor's shoulder toward the windows that looked out onto the street in time to see a shock of bronze hair facing toward the window for a few second and then dash off down the street.

**EPOV**

I sat in the apartment with the guys pretending to play Rock Band when Bella came gliding out of her bedroom and down the hallway. My heart was pounding in my chest as I watched her, the shiny green satin shirt looked amazing, it hugged her curves and hinted at her figure underneath the black leather blazer which made her look sexy as hell. She was dressed up but still clearly being totally Bella and I forced myself to swallow the saliva collecting in my mouth past the lump in my throat.

My heart squeezed tighter and tighter in my chest as I listened to her banter back and forth with Andy about her date, which she seemed completely excited about. If I weren't a guy sitting in a room of other guys I probably would have been crying. The thought of her on a date with someone else, any one else, made my heart sick and my stomach boil in protest, but the thought of her out with that player made me want to pull a Linda Blair on the entire fucking room.

She looked up at me and her eyes darkened for a moment before she left the apartment. The second the door closed the guys kicked into gear clearing away the drums and guitars. Emmett and Joey disappeared out of the doorway while Andy and Jasper kept me company in the apartment.

Andy kept drilling me with questions. He had been so stoked when he found out I finally got my head out of my ass, only to be extra pissed when he found out I blew my chance to tell her how I felt the night before.

"You stupid fucker," he yelled at me. "For a practically fearless cop you sure are a pussy when it comes to that girl."

"I know," I whispered looking down at my hands as I slowly tore a paper towel into narrow strips.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Fuck Andy, I don't know. I used to think I had all of the answers, had everything I ever wanted or could get it if I wanted it…but with Bella I'm totally lost. I just don't know what to do, what to say, how to act. I'm just totally fucking clueless."

He chuckled darkly from his space across the room on the couch. "Well, at least you're heading in the right direction." I looked up at him in confusion. "Bella isn't something you want to acquire. She's not a thing, she's not a cheap one night roll in the hay, and she certainly isn't one of the brainless airheads that you normally land. You're going to have to really put yourself out there, risk everything, and maybe, if you're lucky, you'll end up getting the honor of being with the best fucking person you have ever met. It will mean risking rejection, but the reward is definitely worth the risk!"

I sighed and melted into the chair. I already knew everything he said, but his generalizations weren't going to help me figure this out. I needed some specifics. I needed a fucking 'The Idiot's Guide to Winning Bella Swan's Heart'. I was about to open my mouth say as much when Jasper's phone chirped on his hip and he pulled it out with a smile.

"Phase one is in effect. Alice convinced her parents to go to Benihana for supper and she can see Bella and the dickweed from her table. She said that things look a bit awkward between them right now."

I smiled and crossed my fingers. My best hope would be that this would be one of those awkward horrific first dates, the kind that you reserve for story telling during boring nights at the bar to pass the time and the player would be out of the picture and I could focus on simply winning Bella's heart instead of having to stress over her getting hurt or worse, her actually changing him like she has already changed me. The thought of the two of them falling in love made my heart skip and stutter in my chest.

Of course my luck couldn't hold out. Ever since I realized the feelings I had for Bella, my luck had turned to shit. The text messages kept getting worse and worse. They had broken the ice and were actually laughing together, not only that but Alice was nervous because Trevor had begun slipping into a more comfortable mode as well. His laugh seemed genuine and fuck me he was starting to see just how amazing my Bella was.

Alice stepped up and started openly working on interference when she noticed a seemingly serious conversation and Bella reaching out to place a comforting hand on Trevor's arm. Then they stepped it up even more once they started feeding each other bites of their food from their chopsticks. That shit really freaked me out…Bella was a bit psychotic about sharing silverware. She wouldn't even share with Emmett who is her biological brother for crying out loud and here she was eating off a man's chopsticks, someone who is practically a stranger and carries lord only knows what diseases. What. The. Fuck?

I was on the verge of hyperventilation and seconds from storming straight over there when we got a text from Alice that she made her presence known and even managed to pull Bella into the bathroom for some gossip and then took her to meet Alice's parents. She said that Bella suggested that if he offered a second date she would accept and I couldn't handle it anymore. I threw on my coat and walked out of the apartment and down the street, going nowhere in particular. I just knew I needed an escape. I needed air.

The texts began to come directly to my phone from Emmett and Joey when they left the bar next to Benihana's. They had been camped in waiting for the date to continue on for the rest of the evening. They were tailing the couple, staying about half a block back and trying to keep to the more shadowed areas as much as possible. They shocked me by saying that the duo had gone into Dooley's.

I kept walking aimlessly, somehow ending up standing in front of the big plate glass window of Dooley's. I'm not sure if it was morbid curiosity or outright masochism, but I had to see for myself. I had to see what was going on between them, to see if Bella was enjoying herself, to see if she was bringing out a side of him that could treat her as well as she deserved to be treated.

I stood frozen for at least five minutes as I watched them interact with Mama D. Mama happily shook Trevor's hand and beamed at Bella, glowing even more when Trevor reached over to hold my love's hand that was lying on the bar. I kicked myself for being a total girl when I felt the tear collect in the corner of my eye. I was being a sissy little bitch and I knew it, but knowing it didn't help dull the pain.

Then I saw her look up and a flash of annoyance filled her face so I took off for the alley to hide. I leaned against the wall, wiping away the tears that were wetting my cheeks before grasping the bridge of my nose, willing my involuntary tear duct seepage to stop. That's when I heard it, the voice that made my heart speed up and filled my chest with the dull warmth of hope.

"Edward Anthony Masen, what the hell are you doing here?! Are you spying on me?"

"N..no…not really…I mean. Ugh!" I sighed as I struggled for a cover story, lying my face off. "I came down here to get a drink. You weren't supposed to be here, remember? You two were doing dinner and tour of the city or something like that. You never said you were coming to Dooley's. Anyway, I went to walk in the door and I saw you sitting at the bar with him talking to Mama D. I stopped and then I saw him reach over and take your hand and I froze. I didn't like it."

"Why Edward? I have watched you do a whole hell of a lot more with women than hold their hands in my presence …so why would you have issue with me holding Trevor's hand. At least I wasn't grabbing his ass or chest in front of a room full of people or anything." My stomach clenched and I felt like I was going to be sick all over again.

"Fuck, I know that, I understand the hypocrisy, but I just can't stand to see you already starting down a road that is going to get you hurt."

"What the hell is it about Trevor that has you so convinced that I'm going to get hurt?" She moved to stand right in front of me with her hands on her hips. My breathing increased at her proximity as I fought the urge to pull her into a kiss. I was struggling so much with resisting that my next statement flew out of my mouth before I realized I said it.

"Maybe because while the fucker was lucky enough to have you in his arms two nights ago and you were dancing he was asshole enough to be checking out the ass of a blonde dancing next to you."

Her eyes glazed with a hurt and I immediately felt bad for hurting her before it morphed into a dark and rage full anger. "Why would you lie like that? Are you that desperate to keep me single? You're making up stories now?"

"I'm not making it up Bella. Jasper and Emmett saw it too."

"Liar! They never would have let me go out with him if they saw that! They would have told me and chased him off immediately."

I was standing straighter, closing the space between us as I reached forward and grabbed Bella's biceps in my hands. "There wasn't time Bella, and they didn't want to hurt you. He moved to fast to do much in the way of scaring him off either…so they just hoped that you would have a boring date and he would disappear, but obviously that wasn't the case."

She stared at me looking a bit in shock and I just kept going, once I opened the door I couldn't stop. "And to answer your other question, I'm not desperate to keep you single; I'm desperate for the chance to make you MINE! I didn't make it up, and I wouldn't dare because I could never bear to hurt you like that if it weren't the truth that you needed to hear because I love you Bella. There! I finally said it; I am in so fucking in love with you that it hurts."

My mind was running a million miles a second as I instantly pulled her to my chest and crashed my lips on hers, praying to the heavens that she would feel the same way, that she would love me back, that she would give me the chance to prove to her that I was the man who deserved her love.

She stood still as a statue in shock for a few seconds before her hands ran up my arms and snaked into my hair, then she began to respond to my kiss. I parted my lips and grazed my tongue against her bottom lip requesting admission and I thought I had literally died and gone to heaven when she granted my request. She tasted so much better than I had remembered. As our tongues danced in her warm mouth before her tongue pushed back and reached into my mouth causing me to moan.

I really wish I hadn't moaned because somehow that broke the spell. Instantly she pulled away with wide eyes before she reached her hand back and slapped my face…hard. My hand reflexively went to my cheek in disbelief; my mouth fell open in shock.

"That was low Edward! Ugh! God! If you really meant what you just said to me, if you really and truly loved me, you would have said it last night when you had the chance instead of saying it as a reaction to seeing someone else hold my fucking hand! I don't want to hear those words escape your mouth because you are jealous. I want you to say them because you fucking mean them, because your heart is so fucking full of love that you HAVE to say it or else explode. Not like this…not in a dirty alley behind Dooley's while I have a date who doesn't deserve me going around acting like a fucking slut kissing another guy while he's waiting inside. NO! Fuck you Edward! GO HOME!"

She had tears running down her face as she spoke and I could taste the bile in the back o f my throat as I forced my throat to close, not wanting to release the contents of my stomach. I am and will always be an ass. She closed her eyes and the pain on her face literally broke me as I fell against the wall and slid down it to the ground as she turned and stomped away. I don't now how long I sat there. I lost count of how many text messages I ignored before Emmett and Joey appeared at the end of the alley and walked over to me pulling me up off the ground and helping me walk home.

"I think I did it Em, I think I lost her forever this time," I moaned as my friends led me toward my apartment.

"What did you do Edward? Bella showed up an hour ago bawling and ran straight to her room. She won't open the door or talk to anybody."

"I told her I was in love with her and kissed her and she slapped me." I told him the rest of the story, of the horrific events I the alley and Emmett groaned and shook his head before he finally laughed.

"Ah man, all's not lost. Hell, what you described was basically foreplay. All that anger just means she cares about you and she was pissed off at HOW you told her, not what you told her. Women are crazy man, you'll figure it out eventually, but for now just trust me that her reaction was preferable to the other option, indifference. If she had been cold and unemotional and just walked away you'd be screwed, but rage…rage is good…rage is just one step away from head over heels in love."

I looked over at him as though he had two heads, but then sighed, hoping he was right. The guys tossed me on the couch and sat with me a while before deciding that maybe it was safe to leave me be. I sat in the dark and stared out my windows at the city lights below and let out a small prayer. I wasn't a praying man, but at this point God was about the only one who would be able to help. _Please let Emmett be right. Please let her give me another chance. Please let me make this right._

**BPOV**

My heart was thumping in my chest as I rubbed my hands hard against my cheeks on my way back into the bar. God I had wanted him to say those words to me so much last night, and every night before that night, but no, he says them as a reaction to seeing Trevor holding my hand which totally ruined it. He didn't say it because he wanted to…he said it because he was scared and panicked. GAH! The ASSHOLE!

I knew I looked like shit when I walked back in the door and walked back over to Trevor.

"I'm sorry Trevor, I need to go."

He looked truly concerned reaching a hand out to rub my bicep comfortingly, the one that Edward just grabbed when he talked to me and confessed his love, and where warmth had recently radiated a strange chill ran there when Trevor touched me. I thought about what Edward said in the alley…was it true? Was Trevor just another player?

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's a private thing to do with the person I saw through the window. We had a fight and well I need to get home and get some sleep anyway. I have to be in at six in the morning."

His brow furrowed while I spoke before he finally sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder in a friendly half hug. "Of course, I understand Bella. Thank you for coming out with me tonight. I think that was the best date I've had in, well, maybe ever."

I blushed and looked down feeling incredibly guilty. He's sitting here saying it was the best date ever and I was just in the alleyway getting hot and heavy with the man I've been secretly in love with since I was sixteen. Ugh…I was just as bad as all the guys I ever dated who lied and cheated. I felt like such a slut. I knew I was an awful human being.

"I had a really nice night too Trevor. Thank you very much. I'll see you around okay?"

"Absolutely. Don't forget, you promised me a rain check."

I gave him a weak smile and nod before looking over at Mama D to say goodbye. She looked at me a little concerned and mouthed 'Edward?' I nodded and she grimaced in understanding before waving goodbye.

I rushed out of the bar and down the street, peeking out of the corner of my eye to see that Edward was sitting on the ground against the wall in a ball with his head buried in his hands.

_Good, I hope you feel as shitty as I do._ I thought to myself. The tears began to flow again so I rushed toward my apartment. By the time I got there I was gasping in my sobs. I ran through the door of the apartment and straight to my room where I slammed the door and locked it. An instant later I heard banging at the door and Emmett's voice through the thin wall.

"Bella, are you okay?….Bella?"

I didn't answer, but my crying got louder.

"Fuck! Did that asshole hurt you? I'll fucking kill that jackass doctor!"

I wailed a bit more before running to the door and yelling through it. "NO, he was a gentleman. If you want to kick someone's ass, go find Edward!" My voice cracked as I screamed at the door.

"Edward?"

"Yes…now please just leave me alone!"

I sobbed for the next hour as I struggled to deal with dozens of emotions: anger at Edward for his timing and the situation in which he finally chose to admit his feeling to me; sadness that he didn't really mean it…not really; excitement at the memory of his warm soft tongue exploring my mouth, his hand roaming my back and sides passionately; guilt at the fact that I returned his kiss with just as much passion, grabbing at his hair and pulling him closer, invading his mouth with my tongue wanting him so badly as the warmth traveled throughout my body in waves all the while my unsuspecting date waited innocently inside for me to return and finally depression that I was no better than every fucker who has broken my heart in the past six years.

I ignored the trail of people who traveled to and from my door, trying to get me to open for a talk and the countless phone calls and text messages that arrived on my cell phone. I think it was close to midnight when I finally cried myself to sleep only to relive our horrendous fight over and over in my restless sleep.

_**Author's Note: Okay guys, please don't kill me for Bella's reaction to Edward's revelation. There are a few reasons for it…more about her own insecurities and past experiences coming into play than anything. I promise to address it more in the next chapter. I know when even my beta says her reaction was a bit harsh that I'm probably in for a few frustrated comments from you guys, but I promise I'm going somewhere here. Also Thank you to my Beta Sihaya9 for getting this done during a busy weekend, stealing time when she could to read and edit! Thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts!**_


	12. Roommates and Baby Steps

**Disclaimer: You all now by now that I don't own Twilight, (insert big sigh here)…if only!**

**Author's Note: Oh it is your lucky day. My kids gave me freedom last night and today to write and then my lovely beta Sihaya 9 was having a slow day at work today so you lucky people get an update already! Before we get started with the story I wanted to hit a few things first.**

_**Okay, first of all I have to say that you guys are so totally awesome! This is most definitely the best response to a story I have gotten so far. The last chapter was accepted better than I had feared. Out of all of the reviews that came in there were only three somewhat negative ones, and those three weren't really mean…the worst being an anonymous reviewer calling Bella a baby. They pretty much ranged from being proud of Bella for standing up to Edward, not liking her reaction but understanding why she reacted as she did, to thinking she over reacted and was mean to 'poor Edward.' At any rate, No Tar, No Feathers, and mostly encouraging and supportive responses made me very happy. I have had so much fun writing angst. I've never done it before and it's quite thrilling! I do want to address a few questions that came in though. **_

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**_1. Don't worry; I won't be dragging the angst out forever. Things are going to start to turn around very soon. Those of you who haven't read my past stories don't know this, but I'm a sucker for the fluff and will most definitely be heading in that direction soon._**

**_2. I know some of you guys are getting anxious for the prologue to happen, and I promise you that it will before too terribly much longer, but it's going to be a crucial element in the personal relationships that are developing and so I feel like I need to set that up properly first or else it won't turn out as well._**

**_3. Even though you won't be seeing the prologue quite yet, you will be seeing more SWAT action soon. _**

**_Anyway, hope you enjoy the update! Thanks for reading and as always I LOVE reading your reviews!_**

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**11. Roommates and Baby Steps**

**BPOV**

I didn't get much sleep that night. I tossed and turned and stared at the wall for long periods of time between bouts of broken sleep. Always waking up again in tears when the dreams I kept having weren't real. Each one was a little different and yet all practically the same. Edward would say all of the beautiful things he said to me outside of Dooley's, but in a different location, under different circumstances.

In one he took me to dinner and led me to the dance floor and whispers the words in my ear like a quiet prayer. In another he showed up in the doorway of my bedroom asking to be allowed entrance then he knelt at my bedside and professed his affections. In the next we were be back in the living room the night before and instead of him chickening out he pulled me close and covered my mouth with his as he mumbled his vows of love.

It was heart wrenching and so completely pathetic of me. I was a lost cause. I loved that man so damn much it hurt and yet it was just all so screwed up. I kept trying to distract myself, to force myself to focus on something else…anything else…but it was all to no avail. Finally I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled to the living room around four in the morning, knowing that it was a waste of energy to try to get any more sleep. I had to wake up and get ready for my six o'clock shift in less than an hour anyway. I collapsed on the couch, pulling my knees to my chest and stared out the windows at the somewhat sparse early morning traffic while lost in my own thoughts.

I jumped when I heard Emmett's voice behind me moments before the couch cushion next to me sank. "You okay Bells?"

I shrugged. I wasn't okay, far from it in fact.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shrugged again and reached up to wipe a tear that had escaped from the corner of my eye as it traveled down my cheek. I sighed and leaned into Emmett's shoulder as he reached his arm around me and pulled me close, rubbing my bicep and playing with my hair.

We sat quietly for a while before Emmett sighed. "Oh Bells, what happened? When we found Edward last night he was a total mess. We practically had to carry him home. He told me what happened between you two and that you slapped him and all, which is actually kind of funny…but I'm confused, if you slapped him and walked away then why are you acting like you were the one who got rejected?"

I felt my chin begin to quiver and a fresh torrent of tears begin to fall. My voice sounded dead and distant when I finally spoke. "He didn't really mean it Em. The only reason he's taken notice of me at all is because he's nervous about Trevor and is scared I'm going to go couple off and he'll lose his emotional whore."

"Uh, excuse me…his what?"

I chuckled darkly. "I'm his emotional whore Emmett. He used the skanks to meet all of his physical needs and he kept me around for all of the emotional companionship he was missing out on. I was sort of like his little kept emotional mistress…keep me single and at his beckon call for when he needed to have an emotional connection outside of the guys."

Emmett opened his mouth to argue, but I interrupted him and kept going. "But even that is beside the point, I recognize that he cares about me, but he simply can't let me in. Just like when he showed up night before last, he pulls me close but when things get too intense he shuts down, throws all of the walls back up, and leaves me on the outside again. If he were really ready to let me in, to mean what he said to me, he would have said them that night when we were here, alone, face to face. If he would have said those things to me here I would have grabbed hold of him, called Trevor right then to cancel, and never let go. But he couldn't. He can't."

Emmett sighed and pulled me closer, kissing my temple as my body shuddered with my cries and I broke down completely. After a few moments I pulled myself back together and took a few hitching breaths. "That bitch of a mother of his screwed him up so bad. Unless he perceives that he's going to lose something then he can't even say the words, and even then, when the smoke clears, he'll throw the walls right back up again. I…I just can't do it anymore Em."

"I get it Bells. I understand. I really think he's coming around more and more though. Maybe you shouldn't write him off just yet."

I sighed and reached my other arm around his waist, shifting my body to hug his side. "I love you Emmett, and I really need to talk about something else. Please?"

He smiled down at me weakly, not really reaching his eyes, but he was trying for me. "Sure kid," he said as he kissed my temple. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I dunno…uh…Oh…what did Rose say?"

"About?"

I reached over and smacked him on the arm. "Don't you even pull that…you're still out on your ass at the end of the month, one way or another so don't 'about' me!"

He chuckled, "Fine, fine…she was ecstatic. She said that she wouldn't mind at all if I moved into her place and you kept this apartment so you're closer to the hospital; especially since you have to spend far more time there than she does. Her place is a bit smaller than this one, but it'll do."

I smiled and stretched up to place a kiss on his cheek. "Good, I want you to be happy Emmett. No more pathetic Bella keeping you from doing what you should be doing in your life."

"How many times do I have to tell you? You are NOT pathetic!" I scoffed and rolled my eyes, gesturing at our current position and he chuckled. "Well, not most of the time anyway." We both chuckled a bit before he pulled me into a tighter hug and a frown marred his face. "It's just, well, I'm going to miss you kiddo. I don't see you that much as it is and I'll see you even less when we're not living together anymore. Oh and also, I'm not moving out until you know for sure that you have a roommate to move in here with you. I'm not leaving you alone right now….got it?"

I sighed and then smiled, "Fine, but I'm sure I'll be able to find someone quickly." I sat up and mumbled sarcastically under my breath, "Hey, I wonder if Trevor has a place to live yet."

"Over my dead body!" Emmett yelled and I laughed.

"Only teasing brother bear…only teasing."

Suddenly I remembered more of my fight with Edward last night outside of Dooley's and I had to ask Emmett. I needed to know the truth.

"Uh Emmett, last night while we were arguing Edward said something and I need to know the truth." I paused taking a deep breath and he looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.

"Is it true that during the Femmes night out you guys saw Trevor checking out another girl's ass while he was dancing with me?"

I watched Emmett's face as I posed the question and his expression instantly gave me my answer. I groaned, dropping my head back against the couch cushion behind me and squeezed my eyes shut tightly a moment. Then I sat up and punched Emmett in the arm. He leaned away from me shouting 'Hey!' as he rubbed his bicep where my punch landed. It must have been harder than my usual punches because for once he acted as though the blow actually hurt a bit.

"Em! Why the hell didn't you tell me? I should have known something like that from the beginning!"

He sighed next to me, "Well, there really wasn't much time. We got called out for the night mission not too long after that and we got back so late; then you met him that day at work and he asked you out on that date before I ever had the chance to say anything." He rubbed the back of his neck frowning as he continued. "Hell Bells, you've been through so much of that shit, I didn't want to hurt you by telling you and so I was kind of hoping that the date would suck and then it wouldn't be an issue. I'm sorry. I should have told you…I just didn't know how."

I took in a deep breath through my nose and blew it out loudly in frustration. "It still would have been nice to know in advance, and then it sort of made things worse for Edward when he talked to me. He told me and I called him a liar because I didn't think you guys would let me go if that had happened. I thought he was just doing the whole 'keeping me single' thing again or something. I guess this means I'll have something else to apologize for next time I see him."

"Something else?"

I sighed again, "Yeah, I shouldn't have slapped him. Did he deserve every word I said with the exception of the liar part? Yes. Did he deserve to be left with my handprint on his face? No. I'm not ready to talk to him right now, but when I eventually do I know I'll have to apologize for that."

He smiled at me as he hugged me closer again. "You are a good person Isabella Swan…did you know that?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah I'm a damned saint, now if you'll excuse me I need to get my righteous ass ready for work." I tightened my arm around his waist before releasing it. "You know, you're a dumbass for not telling me about the Trevor thing sooner, but I still love you."

He nodded and watched me pad across the room down the hallway to the bathroom. I quickly showered, threw my hair in a french braid and got myself dressed and off to work.

Pink was just beginning to tinge the sky above the jagged looking horizon of the cityscape when I left my building and made the trek toward the hospital. The air was definitely getting colder and I found myself holding my coat tighter to my body as I rushed to get inside the doors of the warm vestibule.

I quickly got ready and met the girls on the floor to begin our day. I was most definitely on firm autopilot as I made my way through morning rounds and charting. As I sat surrounded by piles of charts, Alice slid into the seat next to me in the large doctor's lounge.

"Hey Bella, are you alright? You seem off today."

Not wanting to talk about it yet I shrugged off the question. "Yeah Al, I'm fine. Just tired."

"So what…" She got cut off when a large pair of hands covered my eyes from behind causing me to jump and squeak. I got a chill down my spine at the contact. I recognized the combination of smells before I heard his voice.

"Guess who," he whispered into my ear.

I pulled his hands away and turned in my chair to cast him a shallow smile. "Hi Trevor."

He slid into the seat on the other side of me with a wicked looking sexy grin and a twinkle in his eye that made my stomach churn with a combination of guilt over my actions last night and anger over what my boys had observed the night we met. "So, how was the rest of your night? Did you sleep well?"

I shrugged, "Not particularly. I was pretty upset when I left last night after the fight I had with my friend. It kind of kept me up pretty late."

I had noticed Alice's eyebrows rise pointedly as I mentioned the fight with my friend. I guess the news hadn't spread as quickly among the boys as I had expected it to. Her expression soon shifted back to her cell phone where she was typing rapidly on her keyboard, apparently texting with someone…most likely Jasper.

Trevor reached over with a concerned look on his face as he patted my arm. "I'm sorry to hear that. Are things better now with your friend?"

I sighed, "Not really, we haven't talked since the fight, but I just," I took in a deep breath and pushed it out in a huff, "I just really don't want to talk about that right now. Plus I need to finish this charting."

He smiled sweetly at me and reached to tuck a stray hair that had fallen from my French braid behind my ear. "That's fine sweetie, but if you want to talk, I'd be happy to listen."

I smiled and nodded a small thanks, hoping he would sense my lack of enthusiasm and move on. He continued to chitchat a while before asking me if we could do the tour of the city tonight after work since we didn't get to last night and I froze. I had no desire to spend more time with him right now between my brother's little revelation this morning and my own feelings about the whole evening and the turn of events. Even though what Edward had said about him turned out to be true, it still didn't change the fact that I didn't know about all of that last night when we kissed. Even if I had, it still didn't make it right to do that while on a date with someone else. On top of it all, my less than adequate sleep over the last four nights was catching up with me and I knew that I needed to get some rest tonight or there would be serious repercussions.

I yawned and rolled my neck. "I'm sorry Trevor, but I haven't had much sleep the last few nights and I can tell that if I don't go straight home and pass out tonight that I won't make it in to work tomorrow. I have to go get some sleep. I'm really sorry."

He smiled and reached a hand over rubbing my neck and shoulders. Any other time I would consider this gesture sweet, enduring, and quite welcome, but with all that had been going on this week, it just made me feel really uncomfortable. I tensed as he moved his hands therapeutically across my skin, hoping he would hurry and finish his ministrations so the nausea in my stomach could let up. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he released my neck and said his goodbyes wishing me a restful night and hinting that maybe we could do the tour over the weekend. I nodded absently and waved as he exited the room.

In an instant Alice was at my side chattering and questioning me non-stop about the fight and what all happened with Trevor. I explained the events of the entire night with the overzealous pixie as she eagerly ate it all up, smiling like the cat that ate the canary when I told her about Edward's proclamations and the kiss. She giggled when I told her about slapping him and she brought my hand up to land a high five on it.

"You go girl. He should never have told you that while you were on a date with someone else, but I'm glad he finally told you. I've only known you guys a little while and it was getting painful watching you two avoid admitting that stuff. I can only imagine what the rest of the guys have been going through watching the two of you do this thing year after year!"

I rolled my eyes and tried to get back to my charting when I remembered something else I needed to focus on as well. I looked up from my charts. "Hey Alice."

She looked up questioningly. "You know anybody looking for a place to live? I'm kicking Emmett out of the apartment so he can go live with Rosalie, but he says he won't move until I find a roommate to live with me. Do you know of anyone I'd get along with that might need a place to stay?"

She smiled and began hopping up and down in her chair clapping. "I know the perfect person! How soon do you think Emmett will move out?"

"I gave him till the end of the month, so unless we can make it happen before, I'm guessing it'll be after he comes back from that training all the boys have to go to Minnesota."

"Perfect!" She screeched.

I set down my pen and looked over at her with a bit of worry now filling my chest. "So who are you thinking Al? I'd really like to meet them, get to know them, and see if we'd get along before committing to living with a total stranger."

She smiled at me wickedly before intertwining her fingers together and propping her chin on them. "Well….she's very fun to be around, addicted to shopping, works crazy hours, and is 4'11 with short spiky black hair."

"Alice, are you suggesting that you want to move in with me? Are you crazy? You live in a freaking penthouse apartment in the Hancock building for goodness sake! Why on earth would you want to slum it with me in my tiny apartment when you have thousands of square feet to spread out in with an amazing view of the city?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "You seem to be forgetting one crucial part of that setup…my parents live there with me. Do you know how hard it is to get any kind of alone time for myself, not to mention with Jasper, when you share an apartment with your parents? It's unbearable. Besides, I'd really like to get a taste of living on my own for a bit between living in my parent's home and living in my future husband's. This would be good for me. I think it would be perfect don't you?"

I smiled and nodded. "As long as you promise to tone down the hyper in the mornings I think we would get along just fine."

Alice squealed and jumped out of her seat running around the table to hug me around the neck nearly choking me as she jumped up and down in her excitement.

"This is going to be so much fun Bella! And we can finally decorate that dreary apartment a little better and make it a bit more you and me! And I can have my Jazzy over anytime I want and not have to always stay in his gross little bachelor pad. This is going to be the best Bella!"

I laughed before groaning with the realization that Jasper and she would be utilizing her bedroom pretty much every night. "One condition," I said and she looked at me curiously, "If you're going to be having Jasper over every night then you're going to HAVE to soundproof your room because I don't think I could handle hearing you two going at it considering Jaz is like my older brother in a way." I stuck out my tongue but then grimaced and shivered at the thought. She laughed and agreed hopping like a little jumping bean in her seat across the table from me.

She pulled her phone back out as her text alert chimed and she typed back furiously with a devious look on her face. After a bit more texting she walked to the door of the doctor's lounge and held the door open, talking to someone outside before stepping aside and gesturing for them to enter the room. My breath hitched in my chest when Edward stepped through the door.

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EPOV

I woke up the next morning to find myself still fully dressed, curled up on the couch with a crick in my neck. I got up and shuffled to the bathroom taking care of business before looking into the mirror. I didn't even recognize the man staring back at me. Where the hell did the guy that looked back at me just a month ago disappear to? I looked tired and haggard and my left cheek had a slight discoloration to it from Bella's slap which had managed to land quite expertly on my cheek after I kissed her. I shook my head at my reflection when I remembered the half dozen bad decisions I had made over the last thirty-six hours, beginning with when I totally blew my chance to tell Bella how I felt and ending with my worst possible timing of admitting how I felt for her while she was on a date.

The Edward from a month ago would have been smart enough to know what kind of reaction that move would earn from Bella. Of course she would be pissed, now that my head was clear and I wasn't swimming in jealously and all out lust from her close proximity, I could see how totally stupid I was for blurting it out in that moment like that. She deserved to hear those words while on a fancy date as I led her around a dance floor to a string quartet or on a carriage ride along the lake front. She deserved it to be soft and reverent and full of the emotion that the words conveyed, not yelled at her while coupled with the words 'there I finally said it' like it was being forced upon me to admit my feelings for her. Christ I screwed things up so bad…yet again.

I set about the task of trying to make myself look halfway presentable. I brushed my teeth and attempted to tame my hair. I finally sighed, giving up and slid into a clean set of clothes before picking up my cell phone to call Andy. The phone rang twice before he answered.

"Well if it isn't FUBAR Eddie himself."

I sighed and swallowed past the lump in my throat before answering. "Hi Andy."

"Wow, you are at rock bottom if you're not even going to tell me not to call you Eddie. How you doing man?"

"Ugh." I couldn't even formulate words.

"Shit man, I told you to put yourself out there and take a risk, but I didn't mean before the damn date was over! Talk about your stupid moves. I'm glad she slapped your stupid face. You deserved it."

"I know. I need to fix it now. I need to do something right for once, so I'm calling for your help. Tell me what to do Andy. Obviously I have no clue what I'm doing on my own and there isn't exactly an instruction manual out there for this type of thing. I need the help of one of the two guys I know that's managed to have a healthy relationship with someone for more than a few months at a time, and I can't go to my Uncle since Bella is technically his employee, besides it would be really weird."

He chuckled, "About fucking time. The funny part is that it isn't that hard. Your mistake is that you've either been trying too hard or not at all. You're pushing for too much too fast. You need to work up to it slowly and make her trust you. You forget that she's been watching you mack on women nonstop for the past seven years. You need to show her that it's different with her…that you respect her. ..that you're going to do this on whatever terms she's most comfortable with. Start off with a slow gesture and a genuine promise that you aren't giving up and don't push so damn fast. You need to put out the first olive branch and then let her return the gesture."

Andy and I threw ideas back and forth of things I could do for the next hour. Finally armed with a plan, I sent off a text to my second secret weapon. My pixie spy Alice.

_Alice, please tell me that you're still going to help me. I have a plan and I desperately need your help. -E_

I paced the floor of my apartment waiting for a response.

**Well I certainly hope your plan is better than the last one, because that sort of blew up in your face now didn't it? -A**

I sighed before sending my response.

_That's an understatement, but I've gotten some good advice and I'm going to follow it. I want to bring Bella some lunch and speak to her for a few minutes and then leave so she can eat in peace. _

_Can you help me find her when I get there and help me get a chance to talk to her in private? -E_

**I think I can do that. We're charting now and will probably do lunch when we're done. I'm guessing you have 30 minutes tops. Oh crap. Trevor just walked in. –A**

I groaned, grabbed my coat and wallet and rushed out the door. I picked up an order of mushroom ravioli from Bella's favorite Italian bistro and high tailed it to find her at the hospital. I continued texting Alice along the way and was relieved when she reported that Bella seemed tense around Trevor and I hoped that she had finally started to believe what I told her about his actions the night that they met.

I ran the four blocks from the restaurant to the hospital. I texted Alice once I was in the lobby and she directed me to the doctor's lounge on the fourth floor, telling me that the two of them were alone in the room so it would provide us the privacy I had requested.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I rode the elevator to the fourth floor and stepped out walking in the direction Alice instructed, repeating what I wanted to say to her over and over in my head. I turned the corner and there was Alice standing outside of an open door smiling.

"Here's your shot Romeo, don't blow it this time or Juliet may just run off with Paris instead."

I rolled my eyes before smiling at Alice and thanking her. She ushered me into the room, closing the door behind her, which left Bella and I alone in the large doctor's lounge. Her eyes were wide with surprise, but I was relieved to see she didn't appear to be as angry as she had been last night. Matter of fact, she almost looked contrite as she nibbled on that beautiful pink lower lip making me want to run right across the room and suck it into my mouth...but I was going to follow Andy's advice and go slow. I was going to show Bella how much I loved her, even if it killed me.

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BPOV

I felt a sharp pain shoot through my lip as I bit a little bit too hard at the sight of Edward standing in the doorway. He looked like he had gotten even less sleep than I had and yet he still looked so damn beautiful. I had never seen anyone in my entire life that was as absolutely gorgeous as Edward was in that moment. His eyes were lighter today than they had been. The last time I had seen him looking more like a grassy green than the deeper emerald I was used to. He had a small smile on his face as he stood there taking me in nearly as thoughtfully as I was observing him. Then I winced when I noticed his left cheek had a light purple bruise.

After a few moments he slowly crossed the room toward me holding a plastic bag in front of him gingerly. "I have a peace offering," he said gently as he quickly managed to make it to the table where I sat. I glanced behind him to see that Alice had left us alone and I couldn't help but chuckle now knowing her speedy texts were not with Jasper after all.

He set the bag down in front of me and I glanced at it, noticing the logo for my favorite Italian bistro on the outside. I smiled seconds before the delicious aroma of my favorite mushroom ravioli filled the air. I looked up at him and gave him a big appreciative smile at not only his effort but also the fact that he had been paying enough attention to know my favorite meal.

"Thank you," I finally managed to get out before gesturing to the seat next to me. "Would you like to have a seat?"

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes momentarily looking relieved before sliding into the seat next to me and we both sat and looked at each other in a slightly awkward silence. When we did start to speak we both started talking at the same time and then both stopped at the same time with a slight chuckle.

I looked him in the eyes and felt myself reflexively nibble on my now sensitive lower lip. "Please let me say something first Edward. I really need to apologize…"

Before I could say more he cut me off, as his eyes grew wide, "Oh no Bella, you have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who…"

This time I did the interrupting, reaching my hand out to touch his forearm as I locked my eyes with his seriously. "Please Edward." The second my skin made contact with his I instantly felt the warm tingly hum running through my body and I felt my breath hitch in my chest, noticing he seemed to have the same reaction. I decided to ignore that for now and revisit the topic later when I would have more time to think.

"Let me say this first. I do need to apologize…for two things actually. First of all, I talked to Emmett this morning and he leveled with me about what you guys saw when I was dancing with Trevor. I am truly sorry for accusing you of lying. I was just so angry at you and then add to that the inconvenient timing in which you chose to reveal it and my surprise that Emmett and or Jasper hadn't told me; I just sort of got a bit nuts about it. I think I always knew deep down you weren't lying, I was just too angry to listen to reason."

He sighed and ran his hand across the back of his neck looking sad as he nodded. "Thank you for that," he finally said in little more than a whisper.

I nodded back and then continued, "I also want to apologize for slapping you," I said raising my right hand to gently caress his lightly bruised cheek feeling horrible for having actually hit him hard enough to bruise him. My heart stuttered in my chest when he closed his eyes and leaned his head into my touch. I felt myself struggle to breathe a brief moment before pulling my hand away quickly, not wanting to feel those emotions while I was still trying to sort out the whole situation.

"I want you to understand that I meant every word, well except for the liar part obviously, but I should never have slapped you, especially hard enough to leave an actual bruise. I'm so sorry." I finally looked down from his face to study my hands nervously, my breath hitching once again when I saw his hands appear in my field of vision, covering my fidgeting digits.

"Thank you, but you really don't need to apologize for that." I looked up and met his eyes again taking notice that he never removed his hand from over mine. "And now it's my turn to apologize. I don't want to apologize for all of the things I said to you because I meant it when I told you that I loved you." I could feel his hand that was covering mine shake a bit as he held it. "I know I didn't do it the right way or in the right place. I should have said it to you at your apartment the night before when I wanted to, but I got scared and chickened out and I will forever be sorry for that. You deserved a lot better than the way I ended up saying it, but I just wanted to come here today and tell you that I meant it and that I'm not giving up on you."

I felt my mouth fall open in surprise; trying to process what he just said as he smiled sweetly at me and reached his hand over to tuck the stray hairs that had once again fallen from my braid behind my ear and my heart skipped a beat. The contrast between Trevor doing this and Edward's hand was so incredibly tangible. It was impossible to ignore as his fingers lingered on my cheek and the accompanying tingles that radiated from his touch.

"I'm going to start doing things differently. I have no clue what I'm doing which is why I keep screwing things up, but I got a little advice this morning that I'm going to try to follow. Just know I'm here whenever you are ready to talk and I'm willing to wait however long it takes for you to be ready. You know how to reach me and I promise that I'm not going to chicken out and run away again. I know what I want and I'm willing to wait to be with you on whatever terms you are most comfortable with." He stood up and took a step to come over to where I was sitting. He leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of my head before tipping my face up toward his and running his hand across my cheek again lovingly. "I love you Bella. I'm sorry I keep screwing things up, but I'm going to do my best to do things right okay?"

I nodded in shock feeling my eyes moisten as he turned and made his way toward the door. He was almost there when I heard my voice break the silence of the room.

"Edward?" He turned around looking at me questioningly. "Uhm," I looked down at the carryout container. "Have you eaten yet?" I asked gesturing toward the container.

He smiled, "No, but there's only enough for one there and I'm hoping you'll eat all of it yourself. Emmett's right, you are not eating enough."

"We could go get you something to eat from the cafeteria so I don't have to eat alone."

He smiled and seemed to be contemplating for a little while before he finally answered. "There's nothing I'd like more love, but according to Alice you don't have much time left before your lunch break is over and I need to be getting in to the station anyway. Tonight I'm having dinner with Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle, but tomorrow night is free. Would you care to have supper with me then?"

My eyes widened as my breath caught again. "That…that would be very nice," I finally answered, sounding a bit awkward.

He smiled brightly and his eyes seemed to twinkle. "Thank you Bella! Thank you so much!"

I smiled back before he told me to enjoy my lunch and walked through the door, closing it behind him. I sat for an immeasurable amount of time staring toward the door as my hands reflexively went to touch my cheek where his fingers had grazed. The warm tingle seemed to almost linger there. I was so out of it that I didn't even notice when Alice had reentered the room until I felt her little pixie arms around my neck choking me a bit. She jumped up and down babbling nonstop about how everything was going to turn perfect and Edward and I were going to figure things out, she just knew it. All I knew was that the affect Edward had on me was undeniable and I found myself simultaneously excited by it and terrified as well.

I ate my delicious lunch and made it through the rest of the day in a bit of a hazy daze. My last week had been such a whirlwind of emotional ups and downs. I had never considered myself an overly emotional female, but this week I was giving the biggest drama queens a run for their money. The one thing I did know is that today, for the first time in nearly three weeks, I felt better about things. Edward's words continued to haunt me and I couldn't help but smile and feel a bit of a thrill. Tomorrow night I was going to have…well was it a date? We didn't really specify that, but if felt like that was what he was asking. I was going to have a date with Edward, and not only that, he seemed to recognize what he was doing and was making a concerted effort to do things differently. I didn't now if it was even possible, but I couldn't help hoping that maybe he could.

When I walked into the house with Alice trailing on my heels chattering the entire time about color schemes and furniture styles, I found that all of the boys were there minus Edward, who I knew were eating at Carlisle and Esme's tonight. Alice skipped immediately over to Jasper, settling comfortably on his lap and immediately whispering in his ear as I went and sat next to Emmett who was halfway through playing Highway Star on the drums while Andy sang and Mike and Tyler were on guitars. Mike and Tyler didn't hang here often, so I was surprised to see them.

When the song was over Emmett looked over at me and smiled. "Wow sis, you look about a hundred times better than you did last time I saw you. What's up?"

I smiled at him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder giving me a side hug and I curled into his side wrapping my arms around his waist. "It was a good day. Edward came and talked to me a little bit and I think we're doing a little better and I found a roommate today, so I might be shoving you out the door even sooner than I originally threatened."

"Already? Who is it? Are you sure you know this person well enough?"

"Well she better," Alice chirped from her perch on Jasper's lap across the room, "We've only spent the last four months together day in and day out at the hospital."

Jasper beamed at her from the couch with a darkened look in his eye that made my stomach churn a bit to think that I will no longer have the safe peaceful apartment I once had thanks to Emmett's vigilance to ensure that neither he nor the boys ever brought girls back here. Yes, my life once free of the fear of walking in on an awkward situation was definitely at an end, but if it meant that Emmett could move on with his life with Rosalie it was a sacrifice I was more than willing to make.

"Humph," was Emmett's only verbal response, but he smiled down at me knowingly, giving me a sly smile. I sighed and nodded my understanding of how much things would change for me with the new situation and my subsequent acceptance. Emmett leaned over and tightened his grip on my shoulders, placing a kiss on my temple.

"Okay kid, we'll make all of the arrangements and we can make the move official when we get back from Minnesota."

"Sounds like a plan to me. Does that work for you Alice?"

"Sure," she beamed from the couch. "There's no real rush for me beyond just wanting to get out of my parent's place. Take all the time you guys need."

"Thanks Alice," Emmett and I both said in unison.

Soon the guys went back to playing Rock Band trading out the original for Rock Band 2. I sat in a daze as I thought about the events of the past few days and then remembered something else with a slight twinge of guilt…Mama D. I still couldn't believe how dead Dooley's was last night. I have seen it busier at 2pm on a Wednesday than it was last night. I was really worried about our favorite hang out and I started thinking again about things we could do to bring people in, and that was when inspiration struck.

As soon as they finished their current song I got their attention. "Hey guys, do you think you'd get out of the house on a weeknight to go to a place if they had Rock Band nights or even like a Rock Band Tournament or something?"

They all looked at me appraisingly and nodded while shrugging. "Why Bells?" Jasper asked from his place under Alice.

"Well last night while we were at Dooley's it was really dead and Mama said it's been like that a lot lately on weeknights and she needs to think of a way to bring people in and while I was watching you guys it gave me the idea that maybe something like a Rock Band night there might work."

They all nodded again looking pensive and I couldn't help but giggle at the fact that they all sort of resembled bobble head dolls. I noticed the group all looking at me like I had finally lost it before tossing out their agreements that they could see that being a draw for Dooley's.

"It would take quite a bit to pull it off though Bella," Emmett stated from beside me. "You'd need the system, the instruments, one or more TV's large enough so that the people playing could see the notes to hit, and probably another one behind the group so that the observers could see it if you were doing a tournament. It'd cost quite a bundle."

I sighed. "Yeah, I didn't think about that part. Hmmm…but we could probably loan her the system and the instruments for the first time or two just to see if things would pick up and work out or not. Then, actually, what would be really cool and much cheaper if it did take off would be to put up a screen and buy a projector and project it on the wall behind the band with a TV in front for them to use. That could be really cool."

"Yeah, that would be sweet!" Mike chimed in from the far side of the room.

"I don't know, do you guys think it would work? Would it be enough?"

"I think it would," Alice chimed. "Oh, and we could enter the tournament if we had one. We could totally do girls against boys. Rose plays really well, you have a great singing voice Bella, I totally rock on the guitar on expert, and I bet Krista or Sabrina would be in," Alice squealed from where she was bouncing on Jasper's lap making Jasper shift a little with a distressed look on his face.

"Oh, you think you could possibly be better than us?" Emmett boasted from next to me with a cocky smirk. "We've beaten the world tour on expert twice. You guys wouldn't stand a chance."

"Oh well, I guess we'll just have to see about that. If we do a full on tournament in order to draw people in we'd have to make things interesting, get them involved in the voting, and actually do a little more in the way of showmanship or it would be totally boring. You won't be able to just sit there and play away, and if anybody can put on a show it would be the Femmes!"

I sat back on the couch with my arms crossed and a wide triumphant smile on my face as I watched them continue to argue over who would be the best. I didn't have to see the turn out to know this was going to work. Emmett and Alice were proving it to me already. A Rock Band night and eventual tournament would probably be at least a temporary answer to most of Mama D's problems.

I made up my mind to go see Mama tomorrow after work before getting ready for my date with Edward to see what she thought. My breath caught in my chest again at the thought…my date with Edward, I had a date with Edward. Was I ready for a date with Edward? Was HE ready for a date with me? I guess I wouldn't really know the answer to that question until we tried it.

I spent another hour hanging out with everyone before my exhaustion forced me to retire for the night and for the first night in well over two and a half weeks; I had a nice, long, peaceful night's sleep.

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A/N: Hope you guys like it…and to those of your reading Chasing Shadows, I'm halfway done with the next chapter, so hopefully I'll be able to post it in the next few days. Thanks again to my speedy beta and to all of your readers for your support, reviews, and for adding this story to your favorites and alerts!!!! You guys are great!


	13. Be Careful What You Wish For

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. 'Nuff said.**

_**Author's Note: Okay guys, this will most likely be my last update for a few weeks. We leave for family vacation Memorial Day weekend and won't be back until the following weekend. So the next week or so I'll be busy trying to get everything organized and ready to go, then we'll be gone, and then when we come back it will take a while for me to get settled back in. We are taking the laptop, so if trying to write while driving down the road on our 12 hour trek each way doesn't make me too dizzy or nauseas then I might try to make good use of the time and post as soon as I can, but if it proves too difficult then I'm afraid you won't see another update until early to mid June. I'm so sorry to do this to you guys, but it's time to go live in the real world for a while. I promise I'll rush back to you guys as soon as I can though. You guys are awesome and I'll see you in a few weeks!!! In the meantime please take time to review. Reviews make me a happy lady!**_

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12. Be Careful What You Wish For

**EPOV**

I walked out of the hospital with a big goofy grin on my face, probably looking like the biggest douche ever, and I really just did not care. The whole 'taking Bella lunch and talk' thing went so much better than I had ever hoped. I was hoping that maybe she'd at least let me apologize and not beat me to a pulp, but to my shock she actually apologized to **me** and then even went as far as inviting me to join her for lunch.

Turning down her offer was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I wanted to relish in any excuse and opportunity to be near her. Just being in her general presence made me feel happy and whole; to turn down the chance to do that was just pure torture, but Andy's words kept echoing in my head. Instead, I begged off with a few halfway decent excuses and then hit the jackpot by offering to take her out for dinner tomorrow night. I was so relieved when she agreed to the date…now I just needed to figure out where to take her.

The big goofy grin was still glued to my mug as I sauntered into the station. Yeah, that's right, I sauntered and then got ragged on by all of the guys for the big goofy grin and the sauntering…but seriously, I truly did not fucking care. Bella and I had worked a few things out, she agreed to go on a date with me, and thus all was right with the world; the rest of the asswipes be damned.

Once the teasing had finally stopped the guys and I made our way into the gym for weight training and a little bag work. It was pretty cool to have a job where they paid you to keep in shape. I decided that the place where I would hear the least heckling would be the punching bag so I walked over; grabbing a pair of boxing gloves off of the shelf, I pulled the Velcro tight before landing a right-hook in the middle of the bag. I heard Emmett's laugh behind me as he approached.

"So, has little sis given you a reprieve already?" I smiled at him with the big goofy grin again as he chuckled and walked around the back side of the bag to hold it steady, giving a bit more resistance to my workout.

"That was fast. What'd you do grovel on your hands and knees?"

I landed three more punches, feeling a bit out of breath from the full exertion I put into it. "Nope, I took her lunch and told her how I felt, apologized for how I told her last night, and told her that I wasn't giving up on her."

He let out a little 'humph' with an expression on his face that kind of reminded me a bit of Robert DeNiro. "So what did she say?"

I stopped punching the bag and knocked my gloves together in my excitement as the big goofy grin got winder. "Well, actually before I even got to say my part she apologized to me about some stuff. Then, I told her how I felt and everything; she actually invited me to join her. I said I couldn't and then invited her to dinner tomorrow night instead and she agreed."

Emmett looked genuinely surprised. "After all that drama queen stuff last night all you had to do was apologize and say you weren't giving up on her? And she caved? What the hell kind of magic does that crazy sex hair of yours have and where can I get me some? I can't believe she forgave you so easily!"

I began punching the bag again as my nervousness began to come back. "Yeah, well now comes the hard part. Where the hell am I supposed to take her for supper? Do I bring her flowers? Should I try to plan more than just a meal in case she wants to hang out longer? I mean I've never really done the dating thing before, except with Maggie which really doesn't count because, well, I wasn't actually trying to woo her."

Emmett cackled, "Dude, did you just say 'woo'?"

I rolled my eyes, giving the bag a particularly hard hit, knocking it into his side. "Shut the fuck up Em. I'm serious. I need help here."

Emmett shrugged. "I really don't know what to tell you dude. Rosie's not really the fancy date type of gal. She hates the whole getting dressed up for a fancy dinner or a play or something. My girl's idea of the perfect date is pizza and a car show. She cleans up nice for a night out at the bars or whatever, but she's more comfortable with keeping it simple."

"So go for something she enjoys doing that makes her comfortable?"

"Well, you could always go a little flashier for the first date and then suggest a second more comfortable date. I wouldn't go overboard though. I'd avoid The Signature Room in the Hancock Building or Fogo de Chao. Maybe that little Italian joint she loves so much."

"Nah, can't go there. I took her their Mushroom Ravioli for lunch."

Emmett smiled, "Nice Dude, hit her favorite place and even managed to remember her favorite meal there."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I remember her favorite meal there. Just like I know that she loves the Mushroom Jack Fajitas at Chili's, the Pot Stickers at TGI Fridays, and the Monte Cristo at Bennigans before they went out of business."

Emmett shook his head, "Dude, you seriously only **recently** realized you're in love with my sister? I plan on marrying Rosalie someday and I don't have a fucking clue what she likes to eat at any place but Pizza Hut!"

I shook my head as I looked down at my feet. "Yeah, I know…I'm a moron. At least I finally realized though. Better late than never right?"

Emmett smiled and slapped my back twice. "Sure man, but remember, you break my sister's heart this time and I'll kill you."

"I break your sister's heart again and I'll personally hand you my sidearm."

He chuckled before walking away, leaving me to pummel the punching bag on my own once more as I tried to think of the best place to take Bella. I was coming up a total blank.

The sun was disappearing behind the skyline as I made my way toward my aunt and uncle's condo in the Gold Coast area of town. If you met my aunt and uncle on the street you would never assume that they live in one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the city. They were both born into money, inheriting a great deal upon the death of their parents that, along with Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme's income from their rather prosperous careers, allowed the two of them to live quite comfortably in a massive and beautiful condo that had spectacular views of Lake Michigan.

The only thing that made me happy those first few years after my mom abandoned me with them was sitting in my bedroom staring out the window at the sailboats floating by on the smooth surface of the lake. I thought about those days as I parked the car and made my way up the steps to knock on the ornate front door of the house that was my home from the age of ten until I moved into the dorms at Northwestern eight years later.

The door opened to reveal my radiant looking aunt, smiling at me with a frilly blue apron tied around her waist. Sometimes I would swear she fucking channeled Donna Reed.

"Come in Edward," she said with as she pulled me into a warm comforting hug. I always loved Aunt Esme's hugs. "Oh, I've missed you so much. How are you?"

As I thought about how my answer today was so much better than it would have been yesterday, I felt the smile reappear on my face. This did not go unnoticed by my aunt who beamed even brighter as she took in my face.

"Really, really good, " was my lame and completely inadequate response. I followed her into the living room to take a seat in my favorite large cream overstuffed armchair.

"Edward Masen, what on earth has you breaking out your most dazzling smile? I haven't seen you smile like that in years!"

I could feel my cheeks heat, which embarrassed me even more because I'm not one to blush. When she saw the blush she squealed in a very Alice like manner and clapped a bit before she began to interrogate me.

"Come on Edward, I'm a boring old career woman with boring friends who have no social life. I need you to make my night!"

I fumbled, trying to figure out what to say when my uncle came floating into the room with a knowing smile on his face. "Hello Edward," he said coming to stand in front of me and pull me into a hug. "I'm glad you could make it tonight son, we've missed you."

"I've missed you guys too Uncle Carlisle," He nodded for me to return to my seat as he made is way over to the wet bar. He poured two scotch on the rocks for us and a flute of white wine for his wife before coming back over to sit across from me in the matching armchair and cross his legs.

"Now, what news do you have for us that has my dear wife looking like a three year old on Christmas morning?"

"His dazzling smile is back Carlisle," my Aunt started in, "and when I asked him about it he blushed!"

My uncle looked at me with a lifted eyebrow before taking a sip of his drink; I did the same. As he brought it back down he stated quietly, "So does this have anything to do with the reason you were seen bringing in a bag from Sicily's to the third floor doctor's lounge earlier today?"

I smiled and I felt the blush return. "Mayyyybe."

He smiled, "And would that meal happen to have been for a certain brunette intern working at my hospital right now?"

"Possibly."

My aunt jumped up from her seat on the couch as she gasped. "So you're finally going to court Bella? It's about time darling," she said rolling her eyes, "you've been avoiding your feelings for her for years."

I looked at her with my mouth hanging open for a second. Finally I closed it with a snap, looking at my uncle who was nodding with a smug smile. "So was I really the last one to know I was in love with her or what?"

"Yep," they both answered in unison before letting out matching snickers. I made a mental note to myself that someday when Bella and I were married I needed to make sure we didn't do that freaky completing each other's thoughts or answering the same way to someone's question thing. I paused for a moment realizing what I had just thought. I had strung together the concept of marriage and Bella in a single thought and it didn't freak me out, it did give me chills, but not bad ones, the thought made me…….happy. I felt the smile on my face grow wider.

And so the Great Inquisition began. I was forced to recount my horrible missteps to the aunt and uncle who raised me. If it weren't for the memory of my father and mother while my father was alive, I would say they were more parents to me than my own had been, but that wasn't entirely true. My dad was a great man and a wonderful father, and while he was alive my mom was pretty amazing too, but once he was gone and she abandoned me; it all seemed to dim in my mind when the pain took over. If it weren't for my need to keep my dad sacred in my mind, I wouldn't hesitate to call Carlisle and Esme 'Dad and Mom', but it just felt like I was betraying my father's memory to do that, and I couldn't very well call Esme 'Mom' and not call Carlisle 'Dad', so I just stuck with the titles I had always used. I think they knew how I really felt about them, or at least I hoped that they did.

As the evening continued I confided how nervous I was about the date and how I felt like a teenager half the time around Bella. Aunt Esme looked a bit disappointed that I had been so cavalier with my love life, or lack there of, that I didn't even know what made a good date. Soon she and Uncle Carlisle were coaching me on things I could do to be chivalrous and places we could go. Thankfully they both knew Bella quite well too after so many years being a part of my life. They actually had suggestions that sounded like they would be things that Bella would truly appreciate.

As we finished off the night, they walked me to the door, each giving me a hug and Aunt Esme gave me a kiss on the cheek before ducking back inside the door to escape the cool Chicago night as my uncle followed me onto the porch. He placed a hand on my shoulder as he started.

"You know Edward, the best thing I can really tell you is to be yourself and go with your heart. You know Bella, probably better than anybody else in her life, except possibly her brother, and even then I'm not sure. Be the boy that I know you really are inside. Show her the love and respect she deserves and everything else will fall into place, but most of all be yourself because the hardest part of a relationship isn't winning your love it's keeping her once you have her and if you are just putting on an act or being something you aren't then you'll never survive because eventually you have to go back to being yourself. You're lucky though because Bella already knows you just as well as you know her and she already cares for you for who you are inside, so remember that and just be yourself. Alright son?"

I smiled at him and sighed. "Thanks Uncle Carlisle. I think that's probably the best advice I've gotten yet."

"Glad to be of help son. Glad to be of help."

He watched me as I made my way down to my silver Volvo and pulled away from the curb before he turned around and entered the house. Instead of driving straight home I wandered the streets of Chicago for a while as I thought about my uncle's advice. He was absolutely right, before I can be or do anything else, I have to be myself…and suddenly I knew exactly what to do on my date with Bella tomorrow night. I smiled as I drummed my steering wheel to the beat of the song playing on the radio, the big goofy smile plastered across my face again. Now that I had a plan, I just needed to implement it.

I got up early the next morning, my plan now firmly formulated in my head texting Bella around the time she needed to get up for work to confirm the time with her. After a few sleep hazed texts back and forth, we had our timeline in place. I made a few calls to set everything up and made my way to the station to begin my workday.

The clock seemed to move incredibly slowly as I anxiously counted down the seconds until I would be with Bella again. I rushed home to get cleaned up, taking extra time to attempt to tame my hair and changing my shirt three times before I was happy. I don't know when the hell I turned into a fucking girl, but at this point I didn't care either. I ended up going with the dark green button down to match my eyes since I had noticed that she seems to like them for some reason. I checked the mirror and my pockets one more time to make sure everything was in place before walking to Bella's.

My hands were fidgeting, causing the bouquet of freesias in my hand to tremble as I rode the elevator up to her floor and stood nervously at the door to her apartment working up my nerve to knock. Never in my entire life have I felt this nervous. I picked up my hand, which seemed to weigh fifty pounds, and knocked on the door in what I hoped sounded like a casual manner. Imagine my disappointment when Emmett answered the door with a funny look on his face.

"She's not here man. She never came home from work."

I listened to Emmett's announcement as my heart dropped to my feet. Did she stand me up? Did she change her mind? Was this some kind of payback for the pain I had caused her? If so it was a good one because the pain in my chest was massive.

"Maybe she just got off late. Your uncle is a doctor right, you know that they sometimes don't get to come home when they're supposed to if something comes up. I really don't think she would just stand you up." Emmett was trying to calm me down and soothe me, but it wasn't really helping very much.

He invited me to sit down and wait; he turned on the TV and we flipped through the channels until we found the local news. We watched the same depressing stories that seemed to flash across the screen between six and seven and then the screen changed just as my phone signaled that I had a new text message.

**BPOV**

I woke up wondering if Edward was serious about the dinner tonight and what we'd do. Was it a date or was it just an apology dinner? It seemed like a date, and considering his confessions you would think he would want to go on a date, but at the same time I didn't want to assume anything.

I had only been up a few minutes when the text alert rang on my cell phone and I picked it up to see Edward's name. For a moment my emotions flashed back and forth between excited and nervous. Either he was confirming plans or canceling. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know, but I finally flipped open the screen and read the message as a little thrill ran up my spine.

We texted back and forth and by the time we were done I was almost 99 percent sure it was, in fact, a date. Suddenly a new nervous tension filled my body at the thought of being on a date with Edward. How exactly was that going to work?

Thankfully, arriving at the hospital forced me to focus my attentions elsewhere. The day crept by as I went from mundane injury to mundane injury, grateful for the distraction but wishing for something a bit more interesting to really suck me in and make the time go by faster. Just as I realized how much of a monster I was for thinking that since it would mean someone would have to be really ill for that to be the case, I heard the announcement over the speakers; seconds later all of our pagers began to buzz in our pockets simultaneously. It was a code red emergency alert status. All available doctors had to report to the ER to prepare for a major trauma emergency with multiple victims.

I looked at the clock and groaned as I realized that I really needed to be more careful what I wished for. The doctors descended upon the ER in a sea of white coats and suddenly I heard a familiar voice next to me.

"I'm so sorry Bella, you might want to call Edward and ask for a rain check on your date tonight." Carlisle whispered beside me just as the first gurney rolled through the doors, the deafening roar of dozens of ambulance sirens screamed outside. I froze with a shocked expression on my face at the fact that Carlisle knew about our date and that he was right, I was going to miss my first date with Edward and it left me feeling nauseatingly disappointed. I didn't get the chance to call Edward though because I was assigned the next gurney to pass through the door. I immediately followed to help ascertain the full scope of injuries of the bleeding woman, who was screaming for her baby.

I passed from patient to patient, just a few of the hundred and seventy victims injured when an L train derailed. A weakened support beam buckled and misaligned the tracks, which caused the train to jump and fall to the street below. Thankfully it didn't fall onto any of the neighboring buildings and there were no pedestrians below to be crushed by the speeding train's fall, but all of the passengers suffered massive injuries, broken bones, lacerations, and head traumas. We happened to be the closest hospital, thus receiving the greatest number of patients; the rest were divided between Mercy, Reece, and Stoger.

The next time I looked up at the clock it was six thirty. _Damn it! Edward was supposed to pick me up thirty minutes ago! He probably thinks I stood him up._I quickly grabbed my cell phone and sent him a short text of apology and explanation before being pulled into another trauma room to assist with another patient.

It was one fifteen in the morning when I finished with my last patient. I slowly made my way out of the ER trauma area through the ER doors, planning to take a few deep breaths of cool air to calm my nerves and collect myself. The horrors I had seen tonight had been the worst yet.

My most injured patient had been so torn open by a piece of jagged metal, which he landed on during impact that his bowels were literally falling out of his abdomen. They had to be reinserted and sewn closed before any other of his injuries could be addressed. There were many others that were close to being as horrifying, but my first patient of the night was by far the worst ghost haunting me at the moment. The entire time we tried to treat her she continued to scream for her baby, and at one point she locked eyes with me pleading with me to find out what happened to her baby. He was only eight months old and was in her arms at the time of the accident. She was knocked unconscious and when she came to she was in the ambulance and none of the EMT's could tell her anything about her baby. Less than an hour later she flat-lined and was declared dead. A little later her infant son was brought in, having been found under a pile of metal debris and was barely alive when he was taken in to surgery.

My night kept filing through my mind in a gruesome slideshow and I couldn't seem to make it stop when I saw him out of the corner of my eye, sitting in the waiting area right next to the ER doors. He was watching me with wide green eyes full of worry, clutching a bunch of white freesias tied together with a lavender bow in his hand. He instantly stood up and rushed toward me pulling me into his arms. I melted into his embrace.

"What are you doing here Edward?" I asked looking up at his green eyes so grateful and yet totally confused.

He leaned down into my ear and whispered, "Silly Bella, I told you I'd wait for you no matter how long it took. Can I walk you home?"

I stretched up on my toes and kissed Edward's cheek. "Thank you Edward."

He nodded and I reached around him, hugging myself tightly to his cheek once more and let his presence comfort me and chase away the gruesome slideshow of my horrible night; the night that should have been wonderful. I felt him kiss the top of my head before I pulled back to look up at him with a smile.

"You ready?" Suddenly my personal belongings in the doctor's lounge locker were forgotten, I smiled and nodded. Edward took off his leather coat and placed it around me before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and leading me out of the double glass doors into the cool Chicago night. We talked quietly while we walked. Suddenly he stopped me in front of a little pizzeria on our way to the apartment, it was still open and he pulled me toward the door.

"What are you doing Edward?" I asked looking at him like he was crazy.

"I promised you dinner and I refuse to take you home without getting something in your stomach. Does pizza sound okay to you?"

I rolled my eyes then nodded and he smiled and winked before turning to the counter to order and pay. We took a seat at the little bistro table in front of a large plate glass window to wait for our order while sipping on our fountain sodas. He looked down at the bouquet of freesias and shook his head as though he had forgotten he had them.

"Oh, I'm sorry, these are for you."

I took them from his hand and closed my eyes to inhale the soft aroma. "They're beautiful Edward and they smell wonderful. Thank you."

He smiled, "They remind me of you actually. You always smell like that Freesia body was I got you last Christmas and so now every time I see them or smell them I think of you."

I felt my cheeks warm as my blush involuntarily stained my face. I couldn't help but notice that Edward, cocky self-assured Edward, had a bit of pink in his cheeks and on the tips of his ears as well.

We ate and chatted casually about anything and everything we could think of. It was actually a really nice time and a very welcome distraction from where my thoughts had been moments before I saw him in the waiting room.

We polished off the pizza and then sat a bit longer, finishing our drinks, before we continued down the street and Edward walked me up to the door of my apartment.

"I had a really nice time tonight Bella. Thank you for letting me walk you home and feed you. I would have felt horrible if I didn't get a chance to feed you before you crashed for the night."

"Oh no Edward, thank you for waiting there for me that whole time. I couldn't believe it when I saw you sitting there. You don't even know how much you helped me tonight." I rushed forward and melted into his arms again, hugging him tightly around his waist. I felt him bury his nose in my hair before kissing my head softly.

"I'm glad I could be there for you Bella." He pulled me away and looked down at me. "You're off tomorrow right?"

I nodded. "Well, since we didn't get our actual date tonight, would you want to go out with me tomorrow night?"

I smiled, "Yeah, that would be nice. Are we keeping our original plans or do you have new ones?"

He smiled at me with a devious glimmer in his eye that I knew meant he had something up his sleeve. "New plans, dress casual and warm. It'll be chilly and you'll need to be able to add and strip layers…okay?"

I nodded with a wink, which seemed to make him happy. "What time?"

"How about I pick you up around three?"

"Okay, see you then."

He smiled brightly down at me before stepping back, taking my hand from his waist and bringing it up to his lips where he kissed the back of it softly. He waited for me to open the door with my key and made sure the door was closed before he turned to walk away. The door had just clicked shut when I realized I still had on his jacket. I yanked the door back open to see him standing inside the elevator.

I took off running to catch him. "Wait Edward, you forgot your coat!" The doors started to close as I got closer and he reached his hand out to stop the door with a smile.

"You can keep it until tomorrow. I wouldn't mind."

I shook my head, "Oh no, it's too cold out there, and you already walked far too far tonight with no coat. I don't want you getting sick and canceling our date tomorrow night. He chuckled before reluctantly reaching out and taking his coat and our hands touched, I felt the warm tingle radiating through my body. Before I knew what I was doing I stepped forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips and then quickly pulled away, blushing.

"Thanks again Edward, see you tomorrow," I yelped before turning and running back to the apartment and slamming the door behind me.

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A/N: Okay, so they didn't get to have their full date this chapter, but the next one should be good if I can get the time to actually write it! Thank you to my wonderful Beta Sihaya 9 for her great work as usual.

_**I was so amazed this week, we're only 6 reviews away from breaking 300 for this story and today we hit 310 story alerts…That just amazes me that 300 people out there are enjoying this story enough to sign up for email alerts! You guys rock and I am truly humbled!!!**_

_**See you guys in a few weeks and please take time to review!**_


	14. Perfection

**Disclaimer: It gets old having to do this every time, but as you all know; I do not own the concept for Twilight or any of its original characters. All references to people and events are completely fictional and fabricated for the purpose of the story. The song Spiderwebs is the property of the band No Doubt.**

_**Author's Note: I can't believe it…I actually managed to get this written before time to leave on vacation! That's how much I love you guys and didn't want you to have to wait for the big date…not to mention I had the ideas pouring out of me before I could do much about it. I hope you enjoy!**_

_**I had a question from Kelly who was not signed in when she left the review, so I'm answering her question, which I'm sure others have wondered about as well, here. She was bothered by Bella's young age since typically an intern would be about 25 or 26. I never came right out and said it, but I mentioned through Emmett several times how she busted her hump to get through college on the fast track and by that I implied that she graduated early from undergrad. My version of Bella is very smart and determined, combine that with the fact that the insurance money left for them after their parents died covered her tuition, Bella took some community college courses in high school giving her a head start on her credits and took more than a full load every semester and took summer classes every summer resulting in her graduating after only three years of college. Plus her birthday being in September, she started school a little early and was only 17 when she graduated high school. (It's possible because my birthday is actually September 14**__**th **__**and that happened with me.) So between being young when she started college, starting off ahead with transferred community college credits, and taking on an extra heavy work load and summer courses, she started her first year of Med school right before turning 21 and turned 23 right after the beginning of her internship. Sorry I guess I just wrote a novel to explain that, but I'm a stickler for making sure I have my characters fully figured out before I start a story. Thanks for the insightful question though. It pleases me to know you are reading with that much scrutiny to detail.**_

_**Thanks in advance for reading and for any reviews that might come in, but since I'm leaving tomorrow, you probably won't be getting any responses, but I want to be sure to thank you at any rate.**_

_**Anyway, sorry for the long author's note. On with the update, may the fluffy goodness begin…fair warning I have been known to give people toothaches!! LOL**_

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13. Perfection

**EPOV**

I woke up in my bed and looked around my room with a smile on my lips. I dreamt of Bella all night long. When she kissed me in the elevator last night I felt like I was going to literally jump out of my skin. I felt a flood of what I can only assume was pure joy. It was a new emotion for me to experience and I liked it!

I walked back to my place in a blissed out daze as her scent floated around me from the confines of my coat. Even with the chemical smell of the hospital and hand sanitizer competing with her natural aroma, it still managed to shine through and cling to the fabric. Having her wear my coat was definitely the best idea ever. Maybe I can convince her to wear some more of my clothes so I can have her scent with me more often, or maybe just lay everything I own out on the bed and have her roll all over it for a half hour or so and then my whole wardrobe would be kissed with eau du Bella.

MMM…Bella rolling around on my bed…Bella rolling around on my bed with me…ugh…those are dangerous, premature thoughts. If I was going to do this right I really needed to keep my head in the game. Step one in operation 'Win Bella' has always been to convince her that Slutward really and truly is gone for good, and getting too wrapped up in my fantasies of Bella, me, and my tangled bed sheets was not going to help me convince her of that anytime soon.

I propped myself up against the headboard as I looked around the bedroom of my apartment. There was one thing that was certain; this place was sacred. Only one woman has ever been allowed into my apartment and that was my aunt. Even the guys have only been here a handful of times, and then they were never shown my bedroom. No, my apartment and my bedroom were my sacred refuge and there was only one person I planned on sharing that refuge with and that was Bella.

I had already decided that when the time was right and we were ready, I was going to bring her here and let her into the physical symbol of my inner sanctum. I hoped that she would understand the gravity of that act because the simple truth was that she was the only person in my life who I've ever been willing to let in completely. She's already made it further than anyone else, but I still haven't found the strength to let her through the last barrier. I would never survive if, once let through, she chose to leave again. But I know if I want to keep her, if I really want her to be mine, that eventually I would have to…and when I did, I would bring her back here.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, admonishing myself once more for putting the cart about a mile before the horse. Like Andy said, I need to start with baby steps. I took my first two-days ago by bringing her lunch, and that went far better than I could have hoped. The next was a bit bigger, last night when I waited for her, walked her home and fed her pizza on the way. I was proud of myself actually for some of my admissions to her.

A month ago there would be no way in hell I would admit to the fact that the smell of freesias reminded me of her. No matter how true it was; that was opening up myself way too much to admit something so personal, but last night, it was like second nature to tell her why I had chosen them and what they meant to me.

It amazed me that every time I took a step toward her, the next step was the much easier. I had expected things to get harder as I continued to open up more to her, but instead of it being an uphill battle, it was more like a gradual downward slope…a small intimacy naturally flowed into a slightly deeper one and so on.

This being the case, by the time we made it to stand outside of her apartment door and she collapsed into my arms for a long warm hug, my whole body was screaming to tip her face up to mine and kiss her. I wanted to taste her on my mouth again, I had only experienced it twice and yet I found myself completely addicted to the act and desperately jonesing for another hit of sweet Bella. Andy echoed in my head again and so instead I found the will to redirect my body's instincts into nuzzling her hair inhaling her scent eagerly before kissing the top of her head. I took a deep breath and gathered my courage to ask if she'd be willing to go on a real, official date the next night. I knew I was supposed to be doing the baby step thing, but I couldn't help it.

When she agreed I felt like breaking into a victory dance right there in the hallway. After our evening tonight, it felt natural to be in her presence, the fact that I was pretty sure we both had similar feelings for one another didn't get in the way of the natural flow of us as individuals spending time together. I knew exactly where I wanted to take her and what I wanted to do. She asked about our plans and I made the split second decision to change things up, to go with what we would both be most comfortable with and add a little effort to make it a bit more special. I hoped that it would be enough for her to consider it a date and not just another inconsequential night out together.

She asked the time and I thought for a moment. It was already after two in the morning and I knew she hadn't had much sleep the past week and I wanted to give her ample time to catch up, so I suggested three even though I knew I'd be dying to see her way sooner than that. She agreed and stepped back and reluctantly pulled her hands from my waist, although I would much rather have kept them there forever, and brought them to my lips to place a kiss on her knuckles before watching her enter her apartment and close the door.

The second the lock clicked I felt the deep sense of loss to no longer be in her presence as I rushed to the elevator before my will power broke and I knocked on the door and begged to stay on the couch, just to be near her. Thankfully the elevator was still on the floor and opened immediately. I studied the ugly design of the carpet on the elevator floor, trying to distract myself when I heard Bella yell my name and I looked up to see her running toward me holding my coat. Just as I saw her I noticed the door starting to close and I rushed my hand up to tap the door and make it re-open, desperate not to lose a single second with Bella.

She handed me my coat. I told her that she could keep it, but she refused and made a comment about how I needed it to not get sick and bail on our date. I knew my smile probably got ten times larger at that statement. She was just as excited for it as I was. YES! Then she shocked the fuck out of me and thrilled me all at the same time as she tipped up on her toes and kissed my lips. It was only for a brief second and yet in that second my lungs lit on fire and the warm tingle I always felt when we touched filled my whole body…just from a chaste little closed mouth kiss…and then she blushed and sprinted back to disappear once more in her apartment as I just stood there with my hand still holding the door open, staring in amazement at what had just happened.

I rolled out of bed and looked at the clock. Holy Shit…I actually slept until noon. I never sleep very well and definitely not nine hours straight. Only three hours until I got to pick up Bella. I was already getting anxious. I wonder if she'd mind if I called and asked to show up early?

**BPOV**

When I first walked out of the ER last night I just knew I would have a restless night's sleep full of nightmares of the gruesome night I had faced. But thank the good Lord, Edward's sweet gesture of waiting to walk me home and everything that followed actually managed to give me something better to dream about…and dream about it I did.

I woke up with a smile as I stretched and blinked the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at my alarm clock….twelve thirty. I actually managed to get nearly ten full hours of sleep. I don't even remember the last time I got that much sleep within the course of forty eight hours, much less one single night. I rolled to my side and grabbed my pillow, cuddling up to it and sighed happily as I replayed my dreams from the night before a couple of times. I finally got out of bed and made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Once I was all cleaned I decided to get dressed for the day. Keeping in mind Edward's suggestion for strippable layers, I decided to go with a basic pair of relaxed-fit blue jeans with a black tank top over which I wore a dark blue long sleeve, light-weight vneck sweater and then figured I would wear my medium weight leather coat over it. I grabbed my hair brush and opted to simply sweep my wet hair up into a high ponytail, pulling a few short strands down over my ears that would fall anyway and used my finger to curl them a bit so they did more than just lay straight and look dorky. I stepped back and checked myself out in the mirror. Edward said casual and he's known me forever, so I was pretty sure he wouldn't be disappointed by my look today.

By the time I finished getting cleaned up it was just past one. I meandered my way into the kitchen to toss together a cold cut sandwich and salad for lunch. I balanced my food in my hands, holding a can of soda in the crook of my elbow and cautiously made my way into the living room where Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were all sprawled out on the furniture. Alice was appraising the room and then looking back down at a sketchpad in her lap, scribbling furiously on the page while Jasper and Emmett were in a turf battle on Need for Speed Carbon.

I sat down in the corner piece of the sectional couch next to Em, stretching my feet out in front of me onto the unused portion of couch. I settled in with my food and began to eat as I watched the war wage on. I had just finished my food and surprised when I heard my voicemail alert go off since I didn't hear the phone ring.

_Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs,_

_So leave a message and I'll call you back._

_Unlikely story, but leave a message and I'll call you back._

_And it's all your fault, I screen my phone calls,_

_no matter who calls_

_I gotta screen my phone calls._

Alice looked over at me and snorted while Jasper and Emmett just smiled, never looking away from the screen.

"Nice," Alice said with a smile as I hit the button to hear my message. It was from Edward.

"Hi Bella, I guess you must still be asleep. Sorry if I bothered you or woke you up or anything, I was just wondering if you maybe if you were up for it we might get together a little earlier than we had originally said. But…uh…if you're busy or still sleeping then nevermind. I'll just wait until three…..okay, well…see you later either way. Oh, this is Edward by the way."

I chuckled as I listened to his message. It still baffled me how my typically cocky Edward had become so cute and awkward at times. He was so new at this; it really was like some high school kid trying to work up the nerve to ask a girl out for the first time or something. It was so stinking sweet it practically made my teeth ache while simultaneously making my heart speed in my chest because it was all in service of pursuing me.

Now with a little distance between the night of my date with Trevor and my frustrations at his choice of time and place for his little revelations, his words would occasionally play in my head and give me excited little chills.

_I'm not desperate to keep you single; I'm desperate for the chance to make you MINE!_

_I love you Bella. There! I finally said it; I am in so fucking in love with you that it hurts._

It still was more than a little unreal to me, that after all of this time I was the one inciting these grand gestures and heretofore unfathomable vows from Edward. If you told me a few months ago that Edward Masen would ever admit those types of things to any woman on the planet, let alone me, I would have laughed in your face and told you that you were a fool. But I was standing right there, he was saying those things to me with more passion and intensity than I had ever seen Edward display…and then he pulled me into what had to be the most amazing kiss of my life.

How sad is it that the two best kisses of my life were during situations full of bad timing and massive confusion. Both times, before reality set in and ripped away the illusions, I felt I had died and gone to heaven. Never in my life have I felt such amazing feelings through a simple little kiss. The thing that really made my breath hitch in my chest is the idea that if those kisses, under such less than ideal circumstances were so amazing and practically earth shattering, what would an ideal kiss under the right circumstances be like?

I could feel my mouth watering just at the thought, but I quickly shoved away the idea before I could get carried away with myself. Who says we would ever share another kiss? To be honest I still wasn't convinced that this thing with Edward would hold out. How could I be sure that all of this new sweet and caring Edward wasn't just a knee jerk reaction to the things I said? Eventually, old dependable Slutward could just show up one day and ruin everything! I can't help but be scared and cautious because if the feelings Edward pulled out of me from our few encounters thus far and our years of friendship are any indication, getting romantically involved with him only to lose him would be practically unbearable.

I sighed and looked up to see three pairs of eyes trained on me looking concerned. I smiled and shook my head to shake away those thoughts. I opened my phone and sent Edward a quick text telling him that I was ready whenever he was and he could just come over whenever.

Only seconds later I had an eager sounding response that he was glad and was on his way over. I smiled and tossed my phone in my purse. I leaned back on the couch, tossing my hands over my head to play with my ponytail.

"So Edward's coming over a bit early to pick me up for our date. He'll be here any minute."

Three heads snapped in my direction, the game and the sketchpad completely forgotten. "Date?" All three chirped in unison.

I smiled wider remembering that they had all been asleep when we made our plans last night and weren't aware of our date. "Yeah, Edward waited for me last night in at the hospital and walked me home. He bought me pizza on the way since we couldn't have our date last night due to the accident." I shuddered at the memories of the horrific cases I had seen that night. They all smiled knowingly and nodded.

"Anyway, when he dropped me off at the door he asked if I wanted to do something today instead and I agreed. We originally said three, but we're both ready early so he's coming over now."

"What?" Alice screeched from her spot next to Jasper on the love seat. "You can't go on a date dressed like that Bella!"

"Of course I can Alice. Edward told me to dress casual with layers that I can strip and add as needed." When I mentioned stripping layers Emmett looked over at me warily with a raised eyebrow. I just kicked his leg with my foot.

"Not that kind of stripping doofus. Just layers so no matter how warm or cool it is out I can still be comfortable."

Alice rolled her eyes. "There's a difference between casual and rejected styles of the early nineties. At least do something decent with your hair." She got up and made her way across the floor to me trying to pull my ponytail out. I smacked at her hands.

"Mary Alice Brandon, get your hands off the head! Edward knows me well enough to expect this when he tells me to dress casual. And if he doesn't then screw him because I'm not going to change who I am to land a guy, even the almighty Edward Masen!"

She scoffed but went back to the dual recliners, pouting like a three year old. The boys were already locked in another turf race on a canyon track, forcing them to concentrate on their drifting. Emmett had a slight lead over Jasper and so being the bratty little sister that I am, I reached my foot up and nudged his knee upon which his elbows rested as he leaned forward in concentration. His car swerved slightly and he groaned and mumbled for me to watch what I was doing. I apologized quietly and then waited for the next curve before bumping him again.

"Stop is squirt or I'm going to make you pay."

I giggled as I saw the smile creep across Jasper's face and Alice eyed me with a twinkle in her eyes. Emmett was approaching a complicated double S curve when I started tapping his leg repeatedly causing him to spin out so much that there was no chance of recovery to win the race. Emmett turned to me with a murderous glare and grabbed my foot, dragging me down the couch toward him.

"I told you to leave me alone squirt and now it's time to pay!" He yelled as he began to assault my feet and ribs with tickles causing me to scream and thrash just as there was a knock at the door. I was too distracted by the tickle torture to hear it. I screamed "Stop Em, Stop it! Come on Stop!" between breath halting cackles as I attempted to slap his hands away.

Finally I caught a break and launched myself up off the couch onto Emmett's back, grabbing around his neck and rubbing the top of his head to give him my best noogie. This of course only last about half a second before he grasped my waist and pulled me off effortlessly, tossing me on the floor and pinning me under is knee as he assaulted my arm pits and feet with more tickles until I finally cried uncle. He got up laughing as I lay on the floor gasping for air.

I lay still for a moment before I finally managed to start to get up, completely forgetting that someone had been at the door until I felt warm hands help me up. A velvety voice chuckled in my ear, "So I gather you sabotaged a race in Carbon?"

I looked up at his beautiful face which was covered by a big wide smile and his green eyes twinkled with amusement. After staring a second in bewilderment I realized what he had asked and nodded a bit with my own wide devious smile.

"I almost had the fucker too until pipsqueak here blew it for me. Just you wait Isabella Marie…one of these days I'll find the right moment to get you back. You'll see." Emmett said looking at me through squinty eyes. I just laughed and ruffled his hair a bit before bending down to kiss his cheek.

"Sorry brother bear. My chances to annoy you are at a premium since you won't be my roomie after you get back from Minnesota. I had to take my chance when I saw the opportunity present itself."

Emmett looked up at me with sad eyes, the annoyance immediately left his face and he suddenly realized what I had been up to. I was creating one more sibling moment for the memory banks before our lives separated in a way that we would never reestablish again. He reached up and tugged at my now woefully fallen ponytail and smiled.

"Yeah, guess I can't blame you for learning from the master of annoyance now can I?"

I smiled and grabbed the ponytail holder out of my now mostly dry hair and tossed it around my wrist before fluffing my hair and running my fingers through it. I plopped down on the couch again between Emmett and Edward. I felt Edward take in a deep breath next to me as he stiffened slightly before relaxing again and leaning over to whisper in my ear.

"So are you ready to go yet or do you want to take a minute to recover from your brother's tickle torture?"

I looked over and smiled, "Yeah, I should probably run to the restroom and comb out this mess before we go. I'll be right back."

He smiled at me as I got up and squeezed between his legs and the coffee table before heading down the hall to my room with Alice hot on my heels.

I turned, expecting her to start in on me again about my fashion choices and trying to get me to go with a different hairdo, but instead I was met with mesmerized eyes.

"Bella, you're a genius," she whisper squealed from beside me as I eyed her in confusion. "I didn't know you had it in you. That whole taking down your ponytail and shaking it out move had Edward drooling like he'd just watched you strip your top or something. You are so right. You know Edward way better than I suspected. Just keep on following your instincts."

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, that wasn't planned in order to induce Edward drools, although it is encouraging to know he had that kind of reaction."

She snorted. "Well, not that it matters, but just forget everything I told you before. Just go and be yourselves, everything will be just fine. I can tell…this is going to work."

After running a brush through my hair and tossing it back up in my ponytail I pated Alice on the shoulder and went back to the living room. As soon as I walked into the room Edward looked up from the couch with a smile. I walked to the closet and pulled out my medium weight leather blazer and kneeled down to throw on my black hiking boots before smiling at Edward.

"All ready when you are."

He stood up and we both told everyone goodbye then headed out the door and down to the street. We walked out of the door to the building and right in front was parked the very familiar precious silver Volvo.

"Wow Edward. You actually removed the Volvo from the vault for me? I'm honored." I gasped, placing my hand over my heart dramatically, pretending to swoon.

He smiled, "Well, I drove it the other night to Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme's too. Tonight we're driving pretty far so I thought we'd break it out instead of dealing with public transit."

He moved to the passenger door and opened it for me with a smile. "Your chariot awaits milady."

I tossed back my head in laughter and his eyes twinkled with mirth. We both knew he was being purposefully cheesy just to make me laugh and it was definitely working. I curtsied. "Thank you kind sir," I said before taking his hand and letting him assist me into the car before he shut the door behind me and circled around to the driver side.

He checked all of his mirrors twice before he carefully pulled out of the parking spot and into the Chicago traffic. I was truly amazed he actually unearthed his baby for a local night out. Normally the Volvo only escaped the vault, which was in fact a triple security monitored garage under his very high dollar apartment building, for long trips on interstates where he can open her up and really let her fly. City driving posed far more dangerous to her immaculate paint job and glossy untainted finish.

"So Mr. Mysterious, where are we going today?"

He just smiled over at me with his annoying and far too sexy for his own good smirk. "You'll see soon enough, for now just enjoy the ride."

He pulled out onto Lake Shore Drive and went north along the lakefront as I watched the water ripple lightly due to the slight breeze. We drove further and further North, getting off on Fullerton and weaving our way into Lincoln Park. The red, orange, and yellows of autumn foliage were breathtaking against the backdrop of the Chicago skyline. The contrasting color of nature against the urban sprawl made me miss the vibrant colors and the stretching golden fields of mature corn waiting for harvest downstate this time of year.

Soon we were parked in a lot near the Lincoln Park Conservatory. Edward jumped out, running around the car to get the door for me, offering his hand to help me out after which he didn't release it. It was a crystal clear day with only a few feathery clouds in the bright blue sky and the temperature was perfect for what I had on. He began to lead me along a path behind the conservatory toward the Lily Pad Pond. I looked up at him and smiled, it had been at least three years since we all came up here to see the conservatory and the pond, yet he seemed to have remembered how much I loved watching the wildlife. He smiled back down at me, his dark emerald eyes sparkling in pleasure. I tightened my grip on his hand, wrapping my other hand behind his elbow and hugging myself close to his arm as we simultaneously sighed.

"So was this the big mystery?" I finally asked after walking a few minutes while listening to the sounds of the frogs croaking along the shoreline.

He smiled deviously. "Not even close, but since we started things sooner than we planned I thought this would be a nice stop along the way. How long has it been since you were here?"

I chuckled. "The last time I was here was with you and the boys before Med school started. I've thought about coming loads of times, but I never seemed to have the spare time to make it up." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, listening to the sounds of the wildlife all around us in appreciation. "It really makes me miss living downstate though. Things were slower and more laid back there and stuff like this was all around you. That's the one thing I really miss while living in Chicago, all of the nature and colors of the country."

I hadn't even realized he had turned to face me until my eyes opened to see him looking at me with a serious expression. "Do you think you'll move back down there after you finish with your residency?"

I shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it, but probably not." I trailed off for a while glancing down to study my shoes. "Everyone I love is here in Chicago. I'd much rather be near the ones I love than stare at a few wild animals."

I shuffled my feet in the grass, watching the browning blades crumple under my boots before finally looking up to see Edward staring down at me intently. His eyes were burning into my face and yet there was a softness in his features. It was an expression I had never seen before and it caused me to instantly flush.

My breathing stopped as I watched Edward's empty hand slowly rise to my face. A lock of long hair that had broken free of my ponytail and was blowing across my face, he tucked it behind my ear and brushed his thumb along my jaw once the strand was in place.

"That's good because the people in Chicago who love you would be lost if you left us."

We stood there watching each other for a long time before a splash in the lake snapped us both out of our trance. We both reflexively looked in the direction of the splash to hear several more splashes of frogs jumping into the water. I looked back at Edward the same time his gaze returned to my face and then he looked down at his watch.

"Well, we don't have to be anywhere for another hour or so. You wana go check out some of the conservatory before heading out for our dinner reservations?"

I smiled and nodded, wrapping my arm around his again as we walked back toward the front entrance of the building, the multi domed glass ceiling glittering green. I always thought that this was one of the most amazing and beautiful buildings in Chicago. Construction began in 1890 and went on for five years before it was completed. I loved old architecture like this. They made everything so much prettier back then. Today it's all about form and function, but back then even the most mundane buildings were decorated with such pride and elegance.

After walking through the double doors of the entrance we were immediately met with the muggy heavy feeling of the moist greenhouse air. I shrugged to shed my coat when I felt a pair of hands reach over and grab the sides, assisting me in removing it. I looked over and smiled, taking it from Edward. He took off his own leather jacket, draping it over his arm before taking my hand again. We walked around the red bricked paths meandering to and fro amongst the large tropical plants and towering trees. The sight of such vibrant green plant life was so foreign to our part of the world made me smile.

We wandered around for a good forty minutes before making our way back out to the car to continue on for our next destination, which Edward still refused to tell me about. When I asked he simply smiled and shook his head.

Once we were back on Lake Shore Edward managed to shift the car into its highest gear, he then reached over to take my hand from my leg bringing it to the center console where he propped his elbow on the arm rest and held my hand hovering above the gearshift. I looked over, feeling so bewildered and yet also excited at how openly affectionate he was being. It really was a new side of Edward. Slutward was nowhere in sight and suddenly this new, more gentlemanly and sweet Edward seemed to have taken over. It was strange and new, but I liked it. I REALLY liked it!

I was shocked when we got off Lake Shore and began to meander down Michigan Avenue. Edward avoided taking his precious Volvo down these major tourist filled streets at all costs so for him to take us this way must mean he was still trying to show me the sights more rather then getting to our next destination. We soon turned onto Wacker and then Randolph then Ogden to Lake where we pulled up in front of La Luce.

I looked over and shot him my most approving and excited smile as I bounced in my seat in a very Alice-like fashion in anticipation of my soon to be ordered zesty lasagna. It was no secret that I had a love of mushroom ravioli and ordered it at most Italian restaurants…except La Luce which was well known for having the best lasagna in the city. He beamed with pride at my eager response to his restaurant choice and placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me into the restaurant.

The hostess immediately beamed seductively at my date as we entered; it was typical in response to all of my boys, but Edward in particular. I had grown used to this over the years and usually didn't react, but today I felt myself tense slightly in response. Edward immediately reached an arm around my shoulder, glancing only briefly at the hostess to tell her the name the reservations were under and then looked back at me with a smirk and a wink as he reached up and gently pulled my lip from between my teeth with his index finger. The hostesses' face dimmed a bit as she shot me a confused look and then led us to our table. She sat our menus at the two seats directly across from each other at the small square table and walked away.

I had been here several times with the guys over the years, but never before had I noticed how romantic the setting really was with its dark paneling and dim romantic lighting. We always were in larger groups, getting the nice cush booths, but since there were only two of us and it was a busy Saturday evening, we were relegated to one of the small tables along the wall. Edward stood behind me and pulled out my chair before sliding it in behind me as I sat and then he slid into the seat across. He immediately reached out with a smile to grab my hand and put it on the table between us as he opened his menu, studying it.

In no time our server, Ted, came to take our drink orders. He was very friendly and funny, making a few jokes before turning to go retrieve our drinks. The thing that surprised me though was that Edward tensed and gripped my hand tighter while Ted stood talking to us, only relaxing once he left the table.

"Geez, I'm holding your hand for fuck sake. Can't a guy take a hint?" He mumbled with a furrowed brow as he browsed his menu.

"Huh?" I asked quite ineloquently.

Edward looked at me like I had three heads. "Bella, we're obviously here on a date and that guy was fucking hitting on you."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop it Edward, he was not. He was just being nice and likable in an attempt to garner a better tip, that's all."

Edward scoffed and shook his head with a disbelieving smile. "You really are oblivious to the attention to you get from men aren't you?"

This time it was my turn to scoff. "You're already on a date with me Edward; you really don't have to butter me up." I unnecessarily looked back down at the menu to distract myself from the conversation since I was already well aware what I wanted…a fact Edward was unfortunately fully aware of. I felt him release my hand, only to reach over and tip my chin up to look at him again.

"Isabella Swan, you are a beautiful woman. Everywhere you go men take notice, as they should. I am not trying to butter you up and I know damn well exactly how lucky I am to be here with you tonight."

I watched through widened eyes as he spoke to me with such determination and pure sincerity that it made my heart skip in my chest and moisture prick in my eyes. I pulled my lip between my teeth again nervously and whispered a 'thank you' before he finally let my chin go and moved his hand back to mine; this time lacing our fingers together instead of simply clasping our hands as they had been before. He looked down at his menu, stiffening again as soon as the waiter returned.

We placed our orders and chatted comfortably, occasionally cracking up when one of us would remember a particularly funny story from our past. He told me a little more about growing up in Chicago with his parents and later Carlisle and Esme while I told him about young mischievous Emmett and his love of all slimy creatures on the planet. Throughout the course of our childhood we had to search for more escaped garden snakes, frogs, turtles, lizards, and iguanas that had gotten loose in our home than I could remember. It conversation was nice and comfortable and for the first time in my life, I didn't feel all strange and awkward while on a date.

Soon we had finished the food and as Edward went to pay the bill Ted made one more stop by our table slipping me a napkin with his phone number on it and whispering for me to call him sometime. I smiled politely and stuffed it into his shirt pocket patting it sternly.

"Sorry Ted, I'm on a date, so even if I were interested, I would never accept this number. Not only am I not the type of girl to accept a guy's number while on the date with someone else, but I'd never trust anyone willing to give their number to someone while on a date. Thanks, but no thanks."

I grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair and turned to find Edward standing behind me with a thousand watt smile on his face; I smirked at him and shrugged. He stepped forward and grabbed my face between his hands, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs as he placed a quick kiss on my lips. I blushed immediately at the kiss, not to mention the fact that it took place in the middle of a room full of onlookers and he chuckled before lacing his fingers with mine again and leading me back out to the car.

Once we were buckled and situated he turned around and grabbed a bag from the back seat handing it to me with a smile.

"What is this Masen?" I asked suspiciously. He rolled his eyes. "Just open it!"

I sighed and pulled the top of the bag open to peer in at a pile of black fabric. I pulled it out noticing the red stitching before shaking it out to find an official Blackhawks jersey. I blinked at it a few times noticing the large number 88 and the name Kane on the back.

"Edward Anthony Masen…what did you do?! This is a Patrick Kane Jersey…these things are like a hundred and fifty dollars!"

He smiled and then rolled his eyes at the price before reaching into the back and pulling out a second bag. "I got one for me too. I thought we could wear them to the game tonight."

My eyes widened and I was once again jumping like Alice in my seat. "We're going to a game tonight?"

He smiled proudly his chest puffing out a bit. "Yep, Blackhawks, Redwings, Faceoff in thirty minutes."

I squealed and jumped across the console to throw my arms around his neck before kissing him on the cheek. "Oh my God Edward, you are too awesome!"

He took in a deep breath and that's when I realized how close we were, our faces only inches apart as our eyes locked. My lip immediately hid between my teeth as we stared for a moment before I pulled myself away and settled back into my seat. I was suddenly grateful for the forethought to wear a tank top under my sweater. I reached down and grabbed the bottom hem of my vneck, pulling it quickly over my head as Edward gasped a second before seeing what I had on underneath and chuckling a bit.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Edward, surely you know me better than to think I'd strip in front of you without something else on underneath."

He shook his head still looking at me funny, but with less shock in his eyes. "Yeah, you just surprised me is all."

Then he mirrored my action, except he…he didn't have anything on underneath his shirt. I felt myself swallow hard and my breathing grow shallow as I took in Edward in all of his muscled glory. The man was built in such a way that would make Michelangelo's David envious. As he turned to toss his shirt in the back seat and pull on the jersey his muscles rippled and contracted under his skin sending chills up my spine. Once he finally managed to pull the jersey down and obscure his beautiful chest from my view again he turned to me with a cocky smile.

"You going to actually put that on Swan or are you just going to stare at it all night?"

I shook my head a second before grabbing the jersey and pulling it over my head and sliding my arms into the long sleeves. It was a wee bit big for me, but since this type of jersey was only available in men's sizes it was to be expected. Once it was on I turned to him with a grin.

"So, how does it look?"

He mumbled something under his breath before smiling. "Looks good on you Bella. Now buckle up. It's only six blocks, but you never know."

I snorted, "Okey dokey Mr. Safety Officer," and saluted him with two fingers.

He rolled his eyes and waited for me to latch the belt into place before putting the car into gear and driving the few blocks down Madison until we reached the parking area for the United Center.

**EPOV**

As I drove toward the United Center I couldn't wipe the huge fucking smile off my face even if I tried. Everything was going so great…far better than I had even anticipated. Things were so easy with Bella. I didn't really feel like I was fighting to impress her or prove something to her like I had always figured an actual date would be like. Instead it was just us, Bella and Edward, and I suddenly realized that this was always how it was supposed to be…I was just too much of a fucking douche bag to see it before.

My body was still vibrating inside from that kiss in the restaurant. I walked into this night telling myself that I was going to take it slow and if there was to be any kissing tonight it would be a quick one at her apartment door when I dropped her off - that would be it. But when I saw her tell off the waiter and tuck the napkin with his number back in his pocket with a couple of smacks on top for good measure, I just couldn't stop myself. The second my hands touched her face the tingling vibrations started, and then when my lips met hers my whole body felt like it started to hum. It was an amazing sensation that I didn't want to stop for the life of me, but I knew she was going to be embarrassed that I did that in the middle of a crowded restaurant, so I forced myself to keep it short, but it made me all the more excited for our end of the night kiss, which I now figured we might actually be able to share.

We got back into the car and I was excited for the next part.

I know she hates surprises, but the expressions on her face with every new place we went were just too damn cute to miss out on. With every new location her reactions just got better and better. When she found out we were going to the Blackhawks game and practically jumped into my lap as she wrapped herself around my neck and kissed my cheek I thought I was going to lose it. Right then and there I almost attack her lips with all of the feelings that had been building in me all day, but I kept my cool.

But Holy Fuck…when she pulled her shirt over her, head leaving her in nothing but that tight black tank top, I seriously thought I my head was going to explode off of my fucking body. She made some comment about knowing her well enough not to strip in front of me without something underneath. Little did she know that having that tank top wasn't that much better for me… the way it hugged her beautiful breasts and clung to the curve of her waist, it left the skin of her arms and neck along with a sliver of her stomach between the hem and the waistband of her jeans exposed, it was absolutely unbearable. I swear this girl somehow managed to continually amaze me by making things that I had never before deemed sexy down right erotic.

In order to distract myself from ogling her beautiful form I grabbed my own bag from the back slipping out of my sweater and throwing the jersey over my head and pulling it down. It would have worked too if I didn't look up once the shirt was on to find my pants tighten over the pure lust in Bella's eyes when I looked back over at her. She was just sitting there with the jersey in her hands like she had been frozen in the process of putting it on. I desperately needed to distract her so I made some smart ass comment about looking at it all night and she slid it on, hiding the tank top under the slightly too large jersey.

She turned to me with a shy smile, asking how she looked and I couldn't help but grumble under my breath 'too goddamn sexy for your own good' before speaking up to tell her it looked good and ordering her to buckle up even though it's only a few short blocks to the arena.

Then I heard the cutest and yet most ridiculous thing ever from her spot next to me. She fucking snorted before saying "Okey Dokey Mr. Safety Officer," with a silly little salute. Who the fuck says something like that and why the fuck do I find it so absolutely endearing? Good Lord, I must be in love because if anyone else said something like that around me I would tease the shit out of them for at least a next year. Instead I opted to just roll my eyes as I watched her latch her belt thinking about how much of a pussy whipped fucker I had become and put the car in gear to drive to the arena's parking area.

Once we were in our spot I rushed around the car once again trying to beat Bella to the door handle. I had never really gone out of my way to be such a gentleman to any woman besides Aunt Esme before, but I kind of enjoyed doing things like this for Bella. Of course it would help if she weren't so accustomed to doing everything on her own, forcing me to sprint around the car to beat her to it every time. I had definitely fallen down on the job there. My aunt and uncle had taught me better than that, but in my need to escape all things romantic, I had completely abandoned the habits.

I offered my hand to help her out and once she was standing I intertwined our fingers again. I couldn't help it. Ever since we first started holding hands today I had wanted to wrap her fingers in between mine, and once I did it, I just couldn't fucking stop. I couldn't help but think that if hand holding with her was so addictive, not to mention the few kisses we have shared that haunt my brain constantly, I couldn't even imagine what other far more intimate acts would do to me and my sanity.

I held her hand tightly as we weaved together through the crowds and made our way through the doors into the massive arena. I had paid a pretty penny to land us the good seats…100 level platinum glass seats just left of the penalty box and as close to center ice as spectators can get. That cost me nearly four hundred dollars per ticket. Normally they would run for three hundred or so, but I had to make a deal with Uncle Carlisle's friend to purchase two tickets to some charity banquet thing his wife was hosting in a few months along with tossing in another hundred dollars finder's fee for the ticket, so in the end they really cost me more like seven hundred each, but I didn't give a fuck. I never blew my trust fund cash on anything to speak of, and of all of the things I would want to spend that money on, Bella would be my first choice anyway. But I also know how she was about people spending money on her, especially since she already knew I spent a hundred and fifty on her jersey, there was no way in the darkest depths of hell I would ever admit to exactly how much I spent on these tickets. No fucking way!

The look on her face was priceless as the usher led us further and further down the rows before taking us to the front row. She turned and glowered at me for a few minutes, instantly knowing I spent more than she would appreciate on the seats, but I shrugged and gave her what Aunt Esme called my dazzling smile. She sighed and rolled her eyes before taking her seat and looking around the arena in awe. The stadium was packed and the players were out on the ice running warm ups and shooting drills.

We were only sitting there for about five minutes before Bella stood up to get a closer look at the banners on the far end of the arena and then sat back down just in time for Patrick Kane himself to skate up to the glass and knock, giving Bella a thumbs up and a wink. I couldn't help but growl under my breath as I watched Bella blush and wave shyly back but then she reached over, taking my hand timidly. Kane looked back and forth between us a second before nodding and waving again; he skated away to rejoin the team as they left the ice for the last pass of the Zamboni before teams were introduced.

"You believe me yet?" I asked Bella taking her hand and kissing the back of it because I could no longer resist the need to lay my claim to the beauty who completely owned my heart.

She rolled her eyes. "He saw we had on his jersey…he was just saying hi and thanking us, that's all."

I shook my head…she was impossible. "Denial, my beautiful Bella, is definitely not just a river in Egypt, but hey it works in my favor so I'm not going to argue."

"Works in your favor?" She asked, a crease forming between her eyebrows. I laughed.

"Hell yeah it works in my favor. If you're blissfully ignorant of the parade of guys trying to get your attention then that means I don't have to worry about any competition," I replied with a devious smirk. She giggled and smacked my arm before tucking her free hand behind my elbow again and leaning into my arm. She had been doing that on and off all day and every time it made my heart melt a little more because it made me feel more and more like she wanted to be mine - just as much as I wanted her to be.

Soon the arena lights dimmed and the colorful spotlights began to paint the ice in a rainbow of colors. The music started and the announcer began to introduce the starting line up for both teams, but I wasn't watching the ice, I was watching the amazement and excitement dance across Bella's face.

The game started and it while it was exciting, I kept getting distracted by the beautiful woman sitting next to me, still holding my hand and occasionally jumping up to yell and cheer on the team. I couldn't help but wonder at the fact that such a perfect creature existed in the world. She was beautiful, smart as hell, funny, caring, sexy without even trying, and yet still managed to enjoy hockey and video games in addition to understanding the general male mentality and be okay with it. Basically, she was quite simply amazing.

I did my best to try to focus on the game. It was good and intense all the way, with both teams putting up a wicked defense and matching each other goal for goal. Every time the puck would make its way toward our goal though, I would inevitably get distracted as Bella would grip my hand tighter and tense next to me; she leaned forward and watched intently as the puck sailed between the players. I was so distracted by her in fact that I totally missed two separate shots that the announcer said were hall of fame worthy; the crazy part is I didn't even care because watching the expressions that crossed Bella's face when the goals or steals were made were far more poetic than anything on that ice.

And so the night continued until the end of the final quarter was announced and the game went into sudden death. We both watched as the puck sailed back and forth, changing possession multiple times before landing in the capable hands of Kane who slipped between two opposing players, doing an amazing bypass as the whole arena stood in excitement watching the scene unfold.

I felt Bella's hand tighten in mine as her spare hand once more wrapped around my elbow and hugged my arm close to her body in anticipation. Kane moved in closer, spinning around another player and surviving a rough looking body check before reaching back and landing a killer slapshot on the puck which sent it sailing toward the net. The goalie blocked the shot and sent the puck bouncing back into play. The Redwings gained possession, but didn't even get it past center ice before Kane managed to regain the puck after he tossed the player in possession into a gruesome check against the far glass. He spun once more to make his way toward the goal as Bella's grasp tightened once again. A few amazing turnabouts later Kane slipped through, taking a backshot that totally surprised the goalie as the puck sailed through the opening and bounced off the back of the net.

The crowd burst into thunderous cheers. Bella and I screamed and jumped up and down before turning to one another. She jumped up and into my arms, wrapping her them around my neck and placing a longer excited kiss on my lips before pulling away with the brightest smile on her face as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Thank you for brining me here tonight Edward. This was beyond any doubt the best date I have ever been on. This has been so amazing!"

I stretched my neck to kiss her again before smiling back at her. "Thank you for agreeing to come with me. This has definitely been the best day of my whole fucking life." I sat her back down on her feet and ran a hand across her cheek, suddenly feeling like the thousands of people around us didn't exist. "Please say you'll go out with me again sometime."

She smiled at me and nodded excitedly. "I'd love to Edward." We walked through the crowds toward my car, hand in hand as she once again snuggled up to my arm taking our time, both of us attempting to delay the inevitable end of our night out. By the time we reached the car it was already nearing midnight.

I opened the door for her and she slid into the seat, immediately reaching for her seat belt. I climbed in next to her just in time for her to reach up and pull the ponytail holder out of her hair combing her hands through it and sighing.

"That feels much better. My hair is so heavy that it hurts my head to have it up like that for so long."

The smell of her strawberry shampoo filled the car, making my mouth water as my pants tightened at the sight of her tossling her hair around her face; she rubbed the pads of her fingers against her scalp before dragging her fingers through the long silky locks. I suppressed a moan, turning on the car and forcing myself to focus on navigating my way out of the insane post game traffic attempting to escape the parking lot.

Once free of the hoards of cars on their way home from the arena, Bella kept looking over at me appraisingly as I drove far more slowly than usual toward her apartment. While we traveled through the streets at a snail's pace she told me about the idea she had for Rock Band nights at Dooley's on week nights to bring in more customers and I was truly impressed at the thought she had put into it. She explained the basic ideas she had for the tournament, judging, standards, fees, and general supplies needed. She had planned it all out to the tiniest detail and I got excited to see how it would all turn out, especially considering the gauntlet that had been thrown down between Alice and Emmett. I would miss Bella playing with us, as she usually did when she was around, but the idea of girls versus boys sounded like it would be pretty fun.

I watched in amusement as her hands flailed around her face and body when she animatedly explained her ideas and asked my opinions. I couldn't help the thoughts that immediately came to my mind, making my chest ache and burn. She was so amazing and I really did not deserve her at all. She deserved so much better than me and I felt my stomach churn at the realization. I was going to do everything I could to hold on to the angel looking so sweetly at me from the passenger seat of my car, but would it be enough?

In spite of my grandfather worthy driving on our way back across the city to her place, we arrived far sooner than I was ready for. I begrudgingly parked my car in front of the building and rushed around the car to open her door for her one last time tonight. I held her hand as we walked in the building and onto the elevator; neither of us looking at the other because we simply weren't ready to say goodbye yet.

We exited the elevator and shuffled slowly toward her door. I felt her grip grow tighter with every step until finally we were standing in front of the door to her apartment. She turned and looked up at me with those big brown eyes, looking just as disappointed that the night was over as I was. I reached over and took her other hand bringing both up to my mouth to kiss the backs gently.

"Bella, this has been the most wonderful night of my life. Thank you so much."

"No, thank you Edward, for everything. This was…it was…I think this was even better than anything I ever dreamed of."

I let go of her hands and reached behind her head to massage her scalp with the pads of my fingers. She closed her eyes and moaned appreciatively; relaxing into my touch and causing me even bigger problems down below. After a few moments I ran my fingers through her silky locks, moving my hands to her face where I brushed my thumbs across the apple of her cheeks and we locked gazes while the familiar tingle steadily grew stronger in my body.

I noticed we were both breathing more rapidly as the moment grew more intense; finally I moved in to brush her lips with mine, making my body shift from tingling to humming once more. I pulled back a fraction of an inch before she leaned forward to close the space and brush my lips with hers. This time neither of us pulled away as I moved my hands from her face and wrapped her in my arms. Her hands traveled up my arms and into my hair. Our lips moved together as the hum grew stronger and stronger with every second that passed until I felt it. Her tongue grazed my bottom lip gently; I gasped a bit in surprise at which point her tongue tickled at the entrance of my mouth and then timidly slid forward to brush against my own. Suddenly it felt like fireworks were going off in my body as a rush of adrenaline and excitement flooded me from head to toe. I trailed my hand up and down her back before bringing one to her neck to pull her closer. I pushed my tongue forward to explore her mouth and moaned at the taste of her on my tongue.

I stiffened a second, fearing a repeat of the last time I let out a moan in response to her kisses, but was relieved when she took the opportunity to begin a battle for dominance of our kiss after which her own moan escaped into my mouth. Finally the burning in our lungs forced us to break apart. We remained only centimeters apart panting into each other's mouths.

"Wow," I heard her whisper breathily as I nodded. "Tell me about it." She scratched her nails through the hair at the nape of my neck gently. She smiled up at me, tipping up to place another, less intense kiss on my lips before moving her hands to wrap around my waist and hugging her tiny body close to me only to jump back with a squeak when she encountered the bulge between us.

She looked up at me in surprise; I looked down at her with a sheepish smile and a shrug. "What can I say, you are amazingly sexy even when you don't mean to be, add that heart stopping kiss and it was bound to happen."

She blinked at me a few times in disbelief before a sly smile spread across her face and an unfamiliar twinkle lit her eyes seconds before she wrapped her hands up over my shoulders and pulled me down for another kiss. This time her tongue danced in my mouth, making me moan almost instantly; she released me looking pleased and a bit smug.

She turned and unlocked the door before looking over her shoulder at me with a coy smile and her voice was husky as she spoke. "Good night Edward, sweet dreams." She winked at me and blew me a kiss before disappearing behind the door, leaving me to stand in the hallway in a state of shock with a painfully massive hard on.

I walked to the elevator in a daze and pushed the button for the bottom floor. I dreamily walked out to climb into my car for the short, two block drive home. Never, ever in my twenty seven years had a woman ever had that kind of affect on me. Yes they could make me horny, yes they could make me hard if they worked at it, but to be so strongly affected by such simple acts was never the case for me. I was either the luckiest man to walk the earth or the most cursed. I was hoping for the former because God help me I was head over heels for that sweet little vixen in the Blackhawks jersey who was utter perfection personified.

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Author's Note: Okay, that was it…the big first date and boy was it a doozie! I really enjoyed writing it though. If any of you live in Chicago, please forgive me if my descriptions aren't perfect. I haven't been to Lincoln Park in well over fifteen years and the only time I ever went to the Arena was to watch the Bulls play not too long after it was built. I've never actually seen a true NFL hockey game in person, but I have seen the local minor league teams in action a time or two, but I'm not very knowledgeable about the game. I also put a link to photobucket with some pics of the conservatory, and the jersey on my profile page if you're curious. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed.

_**Thanks for the reviews and new alerts. The last chapter got 57 reviews! I about croaked when I saw the final number. Hopefully I responded to everyone, but if I did miss someone I do apologize, although if we keep up like this I may not be able to reply anymore because it takes a big chunk out of what little writing time I have and I figure you guys would probably prefer the updates to the replies…but I'll try for the time being to keep it up because I know I appreciate it when an author takes time out to respond to my reviews. We also had 70 new alerts since the last update which also amazed me. You guys are totally awesome.**_

_**Also, a special thanks to my Beta Sihaya 9. You're the best!**_


	15. The Inner Sanctum

**Disclaimer: Twilight's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

_**A/N: Well ladies and gents…yes, I found out Saturday that I definitely have at least one male reader. So cool! **_

_**Anyway, in true vacation fashion, I didn't get much writing done on the way down because I was too busy watching the views and helping the kids when needed. The little bit of writing I did get done was on a oneshot I posted earlier this week for The Age of Edward contest. Mine was about World War II Navy Pilot Edward meeting shy wallflower Bella at a USO dance two and a half weeks before shipping out to Europe. It's M rated and called The Wallflower and The Flyboy (big surprise) if you want to check it out. **_

_**The kids were great travelers on the way down…on the way back I started this little ditty and finished BPOV just before arriving home…yep I wrote for the better part of seven hours just to get BPOV through a fussy teething baby and bumpy Missouri and Illinois roads and then finished up Sunday once we were home between loads of laundry and getting settled in. Anyway, hope you enjoy. More fluff, but a touch of intrigue too!**_

_**Thank you to my Beta Sihaya 9 for her hard work on yet another pretty long chapter. Enjoy!**_

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14. The Inner Sanctum

**BPOV**

Wow…there are no other words to describe my date with Edward but 'wow'…and maybe 'whoa', and possibly 'ohmyfreakingod that was amazing!' It was so incredible how we just WERE and it was great. No uncomfortable silences, no awkward small talk, not even that weirdness where you nervously reach out to change the physical contact or a constant fear of rejection. Okay, well I admit that I was a little nervous the first time I hugged his arm when we walked. I worried that I was being too affectionate for a guy who never really had done the affection thing before, but a part of me knew that it would be fine because it was us. It was my Edward and my Edward wouldn't have a problem with me doing that.

The rest of the night seemed to continue in kind. Every touch, every caress, every kiss was simply natural and perfect, not once awkward. Not even at the very end of the night when I kissed him goodnight and felt the degree of his attraction to me digging into my stomach… Normally this would have freaked the shit out of me, embarrassing me to no end, but instead I all I felt was sort of thrilled and excited. It was like proof that he really did feel for me in all of the same ways that I felt for him.

This was all really happening and not only was he letting me behind the thick velvet curtain of intimacy, but I was no longer strictly his emotional cohort - he wanted the whole package with me. Suddenly I was filled with a confidence quite foreign to me; in that instant I felt sexy, desirable, and most importantly, in control of our relationship for once. He told me upfront that I was going to be the one calling all of the shots in this fledgling relationship and while I was nowhere near ready for that yet, I wanted to be sure he knew that it would be part of our future. So I placed another kiss on his lips, being sure to lean in nice and close before turning to let myself in the door, wishing him goodnight and blowing him a kiss over my shoulder.

If his expression was any indication, the message was well received. I closed the door quickly behind me and leaned against it, hiding my blushing face behind my hands and giggling like schoolgirl. Finally I sighed and slid my hands slowly from my face to reveal Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper all sitting in the living room watching me with amused expressions.

I couldn't help but smile at them all; my lip slid between my teeth and a new flush flooded my face inciting an Alice squeal. She promptly bounced across the room, grabbed me around the waist jumping up and down vibrating me in my spot.

"Oh my gosh, the date was great wasn't it? He did everything right didn't he? And you guys had one of those mind blowing kisses again except this time it was at the right place at the right time! Oh you are so going to get it right this time!"

I didn't even get a chance to answer as she continued to chatter on. I looked over her head at the living room to see Jasper and Emmett laughing from their spots on the chairs. Rose came up behind Alice and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Ali, you're going to give her whiplash if you keep that up. Besides, I need my turn!"

Rose pulled me into a hug. "You look happy sweetie and that's all that counts…but since you obviously can't speak openly in front of your brother and Jasper, I suggest we go to your room where you can tell us all about it."

"There BETTER not have been anything going on during your first date that can't be told in front of me or else you're going to be single again before Masen can make it back to his apartment!" Emmett roared from behind us, the smile suddenly gone from his face.

I turned and rolled my eyes at him. "No need for death threats brother bear. He was a perfect gentleman." He raised his eyebrows at me and I nodded emphatically. He looked unconvinced so I walked across to the empty seat beside him as Rose returned to her place on his other side and Alice settled back next to Jasper. They all listened as I outlined the date and the girls awed at all the sweet things that Edward did and giggled at the overzealous waiter and the waving hockey player while Emmett and Jasper growled a little. I finished off with the events that happened outside the apartment door, obviously leaving out Edward's little problem, and they all smiled while Alice just kept bouncing in her seat.

When the recount was over I went to my bedroom and replayed the events of the day once more as I tried to force myself to fall asleep. I dreamed all night of kissing Edward, tasting Edward, teasing Edward, holding Edward, sleeping with Edward, suddenly my dreams became the 'all Edward all the time' channel and I didn't mind a bit. The only thing that would have been better would have been to actually have Edward here with me…to really hold him and kiss him and tease him…but that would all come in good time.

I finally got out of bed about two in the afternoon after waking every hour on the hour from about ten in the morning on. But I knew I needed to get in as much sleep as I could since I'm stuck on the night shift for the next four nights. Talk about the mother of all sucky timing too because that pretty much meant that any time I would get to spend with Edward would be at a premium and I wanted to explore this new relationship of ours, or, well we still hadn't even really named it yet.

I rolled out of bed and looked over at the clock. I didn't have to be at the hospital until ten which left me eight hours to do my laundry and catch up on the little things I had been letting slide the past week, and yet all I really wanted to do was call Edward to see if he was free. I groaned and grabbed my laundry bags and basket full of detergent and fabric softener. I pushed the basket with my foot while hauling the bags over my shoulders and made my way down the hall to the elevator.

When the doors opened to the basement I kicked the basket down the dark hallway to the small hot laundry room and immediately set about throwing coins in the machines and starting the water, hoping to hurry the process as much as possible. I soon had all of my laundry spread between four washers and sat on the tiny bench waiting for them to cycle as I stared at my phone pensively.

Was it too soon to call? What about texting? Edward and I constantly texted long before we ever started this thingy. We really need to figure out what to call what we're doing too because calling it a thingy made me sound extremely silly in my own internal monologues much less saying it out loud.

I sighed and flipped open my phone to expose the qwerty keyboard and began to type. I had typed a pretty long message before looking down and frowning. I cleared the screen, closed the lid, and then immediately opened it again and stared at the frustrating blank screen. I did this three more times before my machines all hit the rinse cycle. I slid the phone into my pocket in order to add fabric softener to each of the loads before returning to the bench.

I opened my phone and began to type again when my phone began to sing Colby Calait's Little Things and I pressed the button to read the message a smile spreading across my face when I saw it was from Edward.

_Hey beautiful, what are you doing?_

_**Laundry while debating on whether or not to bother you this afternoon by texting you.**_

_Oh, well for future reference, a text from you would never be a bother. I've been forcing myself to wait to text you since I got up so I wouldn't wake you too soon. I know you're on night shift tonight._

I couldn't help but smile. He was doing the same thing I was.

_**Ok, I'll remember that. Thanks for worrying about me, but usually I don't wake up when texts come in. I have a pretty quiet text alert song, so it doesn't usually wake me up.**_

_So what else do you have planned for today after you finish laundry? Want to grab some supper before your shift starts?_

I heard myself squeal a little in joy. He wanted to spend what little free time he had with me as much as I wanted to spend it with him.

_I have a whole list of things I SHOULD do, but I'd much rather let them slide a few more days and grab supper with you. Besides I'll have more than enough spare time beginning next weekend : ( I can't believe you guys are leaving right after we finally start figuring this thing between us out. _

_**Yeah, tell me about it. Trust me, however much you are annoyed by it, I am about ten times more annoyed. Did Em tell you that they transferred Mike and Tyler out? So we have two new newbies with us now that will be training with us…Ben and Dan**_

_No Em didn't say anything. You can complain all you want at dinner. I know you guys always get frustrated when they do that. Em says it throws off the group dynamic. What time do you want to do dinner?_

_**I'd say in ten minutes but I know you have your laundry. I guess I could come help.**_

I thought about the contents of the third washing machine holding all of my delicates and I blushed violently before quickly sending a denial on the helping with laundry. I suggested that if he wanted to stop by in about three hours that I'd be ready to hang out for a while; I'd carry a duffel and change into my scrubs at the hospital before my shift. He reluctantly agreed and I refocused my efforts on finishing up my laundry.

I hurriedly shifted my clothes to four dryers, started them and tapped my foot as I waited for them to stop. While they were drying I made a trip up to my apartment to drop off the detergents and my laundry bags. Forty minutes later I was running back and forth between the basement with my four loads of laundry, quickly putting them away. Finally I sprinted to the bathroom for a shower. I opted to braid my hair so I would be ready for work before dressing and packing up a change of work clothes in my duffel. I tossed on my shoes and looked at the clock. I was ready nearly an hour early.

I huffed and attempted to distract myself, only to find when I stared at the clock four or five minutes had passed. I gave up on waiting and decided to meet him at his place and text him once I got there. I found myself unintentionally speed walking towards Edward's. Minutes later I was standing in front of his building looking up at the tall glass edifice.

Over the years I had waited for Edward in front of this building a few times, but I had never actually been in his apartment. Typically Edward came to our place and the guys had only actually been here a handful of times. I never really questioned it; it was just how Edward was. He had always been a very private person, I never took it personally.

I reached into my pocket and took out my phone to text Edward when a man wearing a nice suit opened the door to the building and smiled at me.

"Miss Swan, please come in." I know I must have looked surprised and he chuckled as I stepped through the entryway into the marble lobby of the large building. "It's nice to finally meet you Miss Swan. We were all excited to see Mr. Masen adding a lovely lady to his list of approved visitors. Up until yesterday the only female allowed access to this building was his aunt. I must say he was right, you are far lovelier than the picture he showed us."

I must have appeared to be the most inarticulate person on the planet as I stared at him with my mouth slightly agape and my brows crinkled in confusion. The kind man in the suit smiled at me sweetly for a moment, apparently amused at my reaction before he finally continued. "Mr. Masen is in if you would like to go on up. Just hit the PH button on the elevator. He's in Penthouse 3."

I swallowed hard and nodded. "Thank you very much…" I paused, feeling bad for not knowing this man's name when he obviously knew half of my life story.

"Jensen, Miss Swan. George Jenson."

"Oh please call me Bella Mr. Jenson."

He nodded with a wide smile that twinkled in his eyes. "Then please call me George Miss Bella."

I giggled, "The 'miss' part isn't necessary George."

He smiled again, nodding before gesturing toward the elevator and pushing the call button for me and then the PH button on the control panel, only returning to his computer station by the front door once the elevator doors began to close again.

When the elevator opened I was once again amazed to find myself standing in a marble tiled hallway with dark, luxurious looking paneling lined walls, only broken three times by equally luxurious looking large doors with golden letters and numbers on it. I walked down the hallway past doors marked PH 1 and PH 2 and as I approached a corner where I hoped PH 3 was hidden I heard voices.

I reached the edge of the corner and paused as I heard Edward's voice arguing with a female.

I heard a sickeningly sweet voice with a forced sounding breathy quality to it. "Eddie, come on honey. I know you want me. You picked me up months ago at Dooley's and then when we got here you got sick and had to go back to your place and never came back. You wouldn't have left with me that night if you didn't want to screw me, so what's the problem?"

I glanced around the corner and felt sick as I saw a tall leggy woman with big blonde curls running her hands up and down Edward's chest. I felt the simultaneous urge to run up to him and slap his face off or run the other way and tell him to go screw himself; until I looked at his face to see a look of absolute disgust and horror plastered there. I ducked back around the corner to listen to how the rest of this all played out.

"Lauren, I've told you time and time again I am not interested in doing ANYTHING with you EVER. I didn't realize you were my neighbor that night we met. I don't get involved with my neighbors. I was nice about this in the beginning since you are my neighbor and all, but I stopped being nice about two months ago and you still don't seem to be getting this. NO means NO! Not only that but I have a girlfriend now and am not interested in sex with anyone but her, so please leave me alone. I really need to go anyway because I'm picking her up in about twenty minutes and I don't want to be late."

I smiled and turned the corner just in time for the Lauren girl to scoff. "Please Edward; you're not the boyfriend type. If you're going to lie you really need to come up with a better one."

I watched Edward's eyes flare in anger a second before he glanced toward me when he caught my movement in his peripheral vision. His anger melted into a smile that shined in his eyes. "Bella?" He left a stunned looking Lauren standing alone in front of his door as he ran down the hall to stand in front of me pulling me into a hug and giving me a peck on the lips. "What are you doing here baby? I was about to leave to pick you up?"

I looked up at him and gave him another peck before leaning back to look into his gleaming green eyes. "I was ready early so I walked over. I was going to text you from out front, but George opened the door and said that they were all instructed to let me in right away if I ever came by. He told me you were home and to come right on up…so I did. Is it okay?"

"Okay? It's more than okay! I'm so glad you're here." We had both forgotten about the annoying blonde until she cleared her throat at the end of the hall and tapped her foot demandingly. Edward groaned and rolled his eyes before wrapping his arm around my waist and leading me toward his doorway.

"Bella, this is my neighbor Lauren in penthouse one. Lauren, THIS is my GIRLFRIEND Dr. Bella Swan."

Lauren looked me from head to toe with a crinkled nose, obviously not impressed by either my appearance or my title. She finally nodded curtly and turned her attention back to Edward.

"Well, when you get tired of this new little development, you know where to find me." With that she turned and clicked her way back around the corner on the tops of her six inch high Manolos.

I looked up at Edward through my eyelashes, suddenly feeling a bit inferior in comparison to her model like stature and classic barbie-like beauty, all of which was far from me and so typically Edward's type. He knew immediately what I was thinking though as he grabbed my face and forced me to look him directly in the eye.

"Don't even go there baby…I told you a month ago that I would choose you over someone like that any day and it's true. You are the only type I have. Do you want to know the real reason why I never dated brunettes?"

I looked up confounded and nodded. "Because for some reason blondes didn't feel as wrong. I didn't really understand before I figured out my feelings for you why it was that blondes didn't feel as wrong as brunettes did, but now I know it's because they reminded me way too much of who I really wanted to be with. It was harder not to pretend and stay detached. Now do you understand?" He waited a beat, hugging me tight to his chest and kissed the top of my head before burrowing his nose in my hair. "The ONLY type for me is you…the end."

I felt heat flood my face. I strengthened my grip around his waist, hugging as tightly as I could, burying my nose in his sternum and inhaling deeply of the mixture of Edward and Hugo that clung to his shirt. We stood in the hallway a long time simply clinging to one another taking in each other's scents greedily. Finally he loosened his grip and tipped my face up to kiss me. The kiss started off tender and gentle but slowly grew more and more heated as my body hummed at the sensations his lips brought when they grazed mine.

After several more long minutes of kissing we finally pulled apart and Edward leaned back. "Well, since you're here and everything, I'd love it if you came in and saw my place."

I smiled and nodded as he reached behind me to open the door. He led me in, wrapping both hands around my waist and followed while cuddled to my back. As I stepped through the entryway I gasped in shock. I knew Edward had money and lived in an upscale apartment building, but I seriously had no clue just how upscale it was.

He led me down a short wood paneled hallway with marble flooring and ornate trims with a large round table in the middle with a matching marble top, a large dried flower arrangement sitting in the middle looking stately in the grand entryway.

I felt Edward's warm breath as he chuckled in my ear. "Esme," he commented softly and I chuckled and nodded. One word explained it all. I knew full well that this apartment was going to be perfectly decorated with nice expensive furnishings and yet very little of it would really be Edward.

We soon crossed the threshold from the entryway into a massive living area surrounded on two sides by floor to ceiling glass walls, each providing astounding views of the city and the lake in the distance. There were touches of Edward here, but it was most definitely an Esme design. The floors were a soft looking plush cream colored carpet upon which sat comfy looking glossy black leather couch and loveset set and matching recliner that all circled a large glass and marble coffee table. The room focused on the most massive television and entertainment system I had ever seen in my entire life.

I crossed the room, ignoring all of the intricate little details that were obviously put there by Esme for the purpose of design and style and focused on the myriad of picture frames that stood on top of the various surfaces of the entertainment center. I slowly walked from frame to frame, my smile growing wider and wider as I looked from picture to picture. With the exception of one of Edward and his parents when he was young and one of Carlisle and Esme, ever single picture had the boys and I in it…and in a few were Edward and I alone.

I felt my eyes begin to blur with tears as I picked up a beautiful silver collage picture frame. Every single slot contained a shot of Edward and I together over the years on the beach at Lake Michigan. We spent a ton of time at the various local beaches on Lake Michigan the first summer I lived in Chicago as the boys tried desperately to make me as happy as they could. After the boys graduated college Carlisle and Esme deemed them responsible enough to be able to use the lake cottage on the North Shore, so for the last four years or so we all took a week off every summer to go chill on the beach together. The frame had eight slots and each one held a picture of Edward and me lounging on the beach or on the deck of the lake house with sunglasses and matching bright smiles.

The first year a sixteen year old me sat shyly next to a younger and yet every bit as stunningly handsome Edward, but with each progressive year we were closer and more comfortable together. By age nineteen I was standing behind him with my arms wrapped around his neck with my chin resting on his bare shoulder as he sat in a Adirondack chair. By age twenty-one I was actually sitting on his lap; both of us with our sunglasses resting on the tops of our heads as we stared at each other holding margaritas in salt lined glasses. If I hadn't have lived it myself, I would have sworn from looking at that picture that the two sitting there were already a couple.

At age twenty-two, just this last summer, Edward held me bridal style at the edge of the water walking into the surf; I held tightly around his neck looking slightly panicked but still happy. The big devious smile on his face was priceless. Fifteen seconds later he dumped me into the water unceremoniously and laughed as I gasped for air and cursed him up one side and down the other for dropping me on my ass. But what we had only recently discovered for ourselves was written plain as day in our faces, frozen in time. We had been in love for years; we just hadn't admitted it to one another, or in Edward's case, even himself. The last box was left empty just waiting for next summer's contribution.

Suddenly I felt Edward standing behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist, his head rested on my shoulder. He tightened his hold and then released as he kissed my neck reverently.

"So much time I wasted being a fool. If I would have just really looked at those pictures as I put them in every year, or even took the time to analyze why I chose those pictures to put in it in the first place, I would have saved us both so much time and heartache. I got this frame from Aunt Esme four years ago. Four years ago she got me this frame and I started putting those pictures in it. Four years…" I could feel him shaking his head.

I gently replaced the frame in its home and turned to face him, placing my hands on either side of his face. "You weren't ready to see it then…that's why you didn't. Just please promise me that you really are ready for all of this now. Thank you for letting me in, but please don't let me in and then wall yourself off again because I don't think I could stand that Edward."

His dark green eyes stared straight through mine and seemed to burrow straight into my soul. "Isabella Marie Swan, I promise you that I will not shut you out again. I want you to know everything about me. That's why you are here. Did you know I've never brought anyone back here? Never. My Aunt is the only woman to ever cross that threshold. Bringing you in here today is the closest thing I can do to physically allow you access into my entire life, and I promise you that my heart is as open to you as that door is. Matter of fact," he left me standing in front of the entertainment center and disappeared behind a door coming back a few seconds later smiling triumphantly.

He walked across the room and lifted my hand from where it rested at my side and placed a silver key on a heart shaped silver keychain. "You are the one and only person in the whole world that I am giving free access to my inner sanctum. Any time, day or night, you are free to come in here. Not even my Aunt and Uncle have a key." He closed my hand around the key and I stared at it as tears trickled down my cheeks, which he immediately reached up and brushed away with the pad of his thumb.

"I'm serious Bella, I'm all in." I slowly looked up from the key to look into his eyes, which were once again boring straight into my soul and I tightened my grasp on the key and brought it to my chest.

"I love you Edward," I whispered.

His irises were instantly obscured by the tears that began to flow from his own eyes, "Oh baby, I love you so much. You don't even know how much I've been wanting to hear you say that."

He pulled me to his chest and placed a long deep passionate kiss on my lips. We kissed as long as our lungs would allow before we broke away panting as he held me close to his chest and kissed down my neck and shoulder.

"I want to show you the rest, come on."

He led me quickly through the kitchen which was filled with top of the line stainless steel appliances and a massive sub-zero refrigerator, a dining room which held a massive mahogany table large enough to seat eight and a large hutch at the far end, a spare bedroom nearly as big as both of the bedrooms in my apartment put together, and a luxurious bathroom adorned with black marble swirled with ribbons of white and red, before finally leading me to a doorway at the end of the hall.

"Okay, you know how I said my apartment was the inner sanctum, well this is like the inner-inner sanctum if that's possible. Nobody has been in this room besides me since Aunt Esme finished helping furnish it. Even the maid is not allowed in here. I clean my bedroom and bathroom myself."

With that he smiled widely at me and turned the knob, opening the door gesturing for me to enter with a slightly flamboyant bow that made me giggle. I stepped through to find a room completely unlike the rest of the apartment and I felt my cheeks tense when my smile grew deeper. This was Edward, one hundred percent complete and total Edward. The outer walls here were once again floor to ceiling glass. To the right of the door a large king size bed rested with its headboard against the wall, the foot of the bed pointed toward the lake beyond. The wall above his bed was completely covered with pictures of the guys and me interspersed with various collectable White Sox and Blackhawks memorabilia.

I walked over to the dresser on the other solid wall to find it also covered in things that were precious to him. A signed baseball inside a glass box with an engraved plaque showed a 1988 date, which means it was probably from a game he had gone to with his father. Behind the ball was a picture of an absolutely adorable eight year old Edward, his messy bronze hair and red freckles decorating the bridge of his nose - smiling wider than I had ever seen, standing next to his kneeling father who was holding the ball in front of a baseball stadium. I ran my hands over the picture before looking over at him cautiously, unsure if I should be touching his things. I half expected to see a frown or his body tense and worried, but instead I found him sprawled out on his bed with his hands tucked behind his head watching me with a smile.

"I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to feel about you being in here, but now I see you standing there looking at everything that's most important to me and I find that you belong in here just as much as that baseball does. You are more special to me than any of this stuff. So touch anything you want…I want you to know it all."

I blushed and smiled before walking over to the bed and climbing in next to him, snuggling into his side and laying my head on his chest with a sigh. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me in, both physically and emotionally." I drew lazy circles on his stomach with my right hand, he wrapped me in his arms and I relaxed completely into his embrace. We lay there together for a long while as we both drifted off to sleep only to be awoken when my cell phone went off and I jumped up looking at the clock in surprise.

"Oh my gosh Edward, I have to be on the floor in forty minutes. No time for supper, although I have to say that what you did for me today was way better than any meal could have been."

Edward shot up looking as surprised as I was. "You brought your clothes right?"

I nodded. "Good, grab your clothes and change while I fix you something real quick. I'll ask Jensen to have a cab waiting to drive you to the hospital doors."

"Okay," I jumped up and jogged back to where he was standing by the bed and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Thank you and that was the best I've slept since our morning on the couch." He smiled knowingly and nodded, squeezing me tightly in his arms before letting me go. I rushed down the entryway where he left my duffel and turned to go back to his room as he crossed in front of me headed for the kitchen.

I dressed quickly in my scrubs, throwing on my lab coat and stethoscope; tossed my clothes back in my bag and quickly re-braided my hair. I rushed to find Edward waiting in the kitchen at the counter with two large cold cut sandwiches, chips, and drinks. We ate together quickly and made arrangements to spend time together after Edward got off of work then he walked me down to the lobby where, as promised, George had a cab waiting for me. I thanked George as he called out behind me. "Have a nice night at the hospital Miss Bella."

Edward kissed me and helped me into the cab, tossing some bills at the driver and as soon as it pulled away from the curb I felt such a sense of loss. I was never one of those kids that got overly sentimental when my parents would drop me off for school or summer camp or anything like that, and yet I felt this strong sense of really not wanting to leave him, even though I knew I would be see him the next day. I tried to focus on the task at hand as we drove toward the hospital, but wasn't doing a very good job.

Within a couple of minutes I was stepping out of the cab in front of hospital. I checked my watch, pleased to see that I had ten minutes to get settled in and hit the floor.

At ten on the dot I stepped into the ER nurses station where a stack of charts was waiting for me. I dived in head first taking on broken bones, stitches, and a possible concussion with ease and with that I slid into a rhythm for the night. I was two hours into my night when I felt a familiar pair of rough hands cover my eyes and a matching chill traveled my spine while a sultry rough voice whispered in my ear, "Hey there sexy."

I tensed and he backed off as I turned around casting him a warning look. "Dr. Sellers that kind of conduct is not appropriate while on ER rotation no matter the personal relationship two physicians may or may not have." He took two steps back with his hands in the air.

"Sorry to be rude, but as a female doctor I have to work twice as hard to gain respect and to maintain it. I refuse to let anyone mar my work through impulsive public displays of affection. I really do need to talk to you though. Do you think maybe we could go grab a cup of coffee later tonight while on break or after I get off duty in the morning?"

He smiled at me condescendingly. "Sure Doctor Swan. I'll swing by on my break and see if you're available then." I nodded and turned to make my way to trauma room three.

The night continued with non-stop patients throughout the wee hours of the morning and my supposed break came and went without supplying me a chance to utilize it. Trevor stopped by but the head nurse quickly informed him that I was too busy for a break and to try me again at the end of my shift. I finally got away from the chaos at five thirty and had a few minutes to down a coffee and eat a little bit before having to join the rest of the femmes for morning rounds; I was supposed to be free to go at ten.

I drowsily made my way past the rows and rows of rooms and corridors as I made my way toward the cafeteria to grab some sub par sustenance when I turned one last corner to find Trevor and the bald man from Femmes night out at Dooley's standing in the hallway. They appeared to be arguing and not wanting to see the large ugly man I slightly injured that night without my boys around for backup, I ducked back around the corner and listened for the man to leave.

"What the fuck do you mean you're not going to give me the rest of the money? I did exactly what you asked."

"No, you did not provide your full service," Trevor answered in a cold low voice.

"The fuck I didn't. I hit on her, I got all up in her grill, and it's not my fault the little bitch is a fucking ninja posing as a tiny little slut. You had several seconds to step in and make your usual first impression; you were too slow is all. Not only that, her fucking brother and his friends beat the shit out of me less than two hours later. I earned every penny of that five hundred bucks."

"No, our deal is you hit on the women and I come in and punch you and have my door open for an easy swoop and grab. Thanks to your sissy ass I've had to work ten times harder than usual to nab this one and I can tell she's already slipping through my fingers and it's all your fucking fault. That one was actually worthy of more than just a bang and fling for once and now I might never get the chance. No, you get your initial one hundred for the pain and suffering you faced at the little vixen's hands and that's it."

I was floored and torn between running away and running toward them to knock both of their ugly misogynistic faces off. I was about to make a decision when it was made for me. Alice came up shouting behind me.

"Hi Bella! You want to come get some breakfast with me?"

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the cafeteria, in an instant I was out in the open gaze of the two men who had only moments before been discussing me as though I were a prize piece of meat on display for the picking. I glared at the duo before grinding out. "No Alice, I'm not very hungry right now. You go ahead but do me a favor and keep an eye on me. I'll be in to join you for some coffee in just a minute."

She cast me a concerned look; I nodded and sent her a small smile of encouragement and watched as she disappeared behind the glass doors but kept her eyes on me as the began to furiously text on her cell phone.

I walked up to stand in front of the demonic duo. "Just so you know I heard every word and let me assure you that you never would have had the chance to show off because the man who, as of this weekend is now my boyfriend, was only about a foot and half away from kicking his ass in the middle of the bar. I do believe you met him again outside a couple of hours later though…you know the SWAT team member with the reddish brown hair? Yeah. As for you Trevor, I would thank you to never touch me or speak to me again. I was planning on us having coffee so I could try to do the right thing and let you down easy. To think I felt bad for leading you on! But now I'm so fucking ecstatic that we didn't get to know each other any better and Edward's seemingly shitty timing to step up and tell me how he feels that it isn't even funny. Now if the two of you will excuse me, I need to go have some coffee with my friend and call off the lynch mob of SWAT team members that I'm pretty sure she has managed to wrangle up during our short conversation thanks to text messaging."

I pushed myself between the two of them to open the cafeteria door and stormed directly over to Alice. "Call off the overprotective brigade. I handled it."

"Are you sure? What happened anyway?"

I nodded and told her I would fill her in after I had my coffee and she was done calling off the boys. By the time I was back at the table with my coffee I was on a three-way call with Emmett and Edward.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward asked breathless and obviously tense.

"It wasn't a big deal at all guys. I was walking up to the cafeteria when I overheard them talking. I guess Trevor paid the creepy bald guy to push himself on me so he could step in and save me. It sounds like it's their usual scam, but I sort of put a crimp in Trevor's style and he refused to pay the guy the other four hundred for the deed in spite of him still getting his ass kicked by you guys. I asked Alice to keep an eye out just in case and told Trevor never to touch or go near me again and that Edward and I were together now. I was going to tell him today when I had coffee with him, but now he knows that we have nothing more to talk about. Then I told him I had to call off the lynch mob and walked past them to come in here."

"I don't like this Bella. If that guy is so low to pay a guy to hit on women so he can beat the dude up in order to reel the girl in, then god only knows what else the asshole has his hands in. Let us come pick you up…please?" Emmett pleaded on the phone.

"No Em. I still have four and a half hours before I'm off and even then I'll be fine. The thing that gets me is the fact that he's supposed to be new to town and yet he already has this working relationship with this thug? How did he manage that so fast?"

"I don't know, but I'm definitely going to do a little research today at work to see if I can find Mr. Clean in our perp files at the station to see what pies he has his dirty little fingers in. In the meantime, I'm going to see if I can get the boss to give Edward guard duty today. I don't want you left alone today until I know more."

"Em, you are totally over reacting to all of this. He's a low level thug helping a loser pick up chicks, not the ring leader for the mob."

Edward interrupted me this time. "You don't know what he's involved with Bella. You don't know this, but we've been doing some pretty big stuff in the unit lately and if someone put us all together, it could put you in danger. Just humor us. I'll pick you up, we can swing by your place to get you some things and then I'll bring you back to my place to sleep. There's more security and it would be quieter to try to sleep in during the middle of the day anyway."

"Your place?" Emmett sounded shocked.

"Yeah man, I showed her my apartment today. Trust me; it really is the safest place she could be."

"Umm…oookay. Bells, you stay put until Edward picks you up. That's not a suggestion or a request, so please just go along with us on this okay?"

I groaned before agreeing. "I'll be waiting in the front lobby at a quarter till ten Bella. Meet me there when you're done with rounds okay?"

"Okay Edward. I'll see you later I guess. I love you guys."

"Love you too Bells." Emmett mumbled.

"I love you too baby." Edward crooned seconds later causing Emmett to emit a funny sounding whimper before we all hung up.

Alice stuck to me like glue as we met the rest of the femmes on the third floor for rounds. Alice and I were the only two on night shift rotations this week so as soon as rounds were over we were sent off together to head home for some rest. Alice stayed by my side the whole time until Jasper and Edward met us both in the waiting room.

I looked at Jasper questioningly and he shrugged, "I convinced Emmett that the guys know Alice called in the infantry and could be a potential target too, so I get guard duty today too." He looked over at Alice as he emphasized the words 'guard duty' with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and Jasper did the same with Alice as they guided the two of us toward the front doors and parted ways. Alice's parents were out of town for two weeks so they were going to 'take advantage of the security at Hancock' while Edward led me toward my apartment. He waited at the door as I rushed around stuffing various items of clothing and toiletries in my duffel along with a uniform for the night shift that night and we were off.

George met us with a smile as we walked in together. Edward carried my duffel bag chivalrously while holding my hand in his as I hugged myself to his arm just like I had done on our date on Saturday.

"Morning Miss Bella, it's so nice to see you again." He said as he opened the door and tipped his hat at me.

"Thank you George; and I told you yesterday, it's just Bella."

"As you wish ma'am."

I sighed and rolled my eyes as he chuckled and Edward watched our exchange with a bit of amusement.

"Jensen?" Edward said with an air of authority.

"Yes Mr. Masen?"

"Bella will be staying here today for sure and maybe a bit longer. There is the possibility that her life could be in danger." George gasped and looked horrified as he glanced at me worriedly.

I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, "He and my brother are just overreacting George. It's not as bad as they make it sound."

Edward looked down at me in annoyance. "And she doesn't ever take anything to do with her own safety seriously enough. It has the potential to be that serious Love, please don't take your personal safety lightly because I certainly don't."

I rolled my eyes again and sighed in defeat resting my head against Edward's bicep and letting my exhausted eyes flutter closed.

"Anyway, do not let anyone through without notifying me first. I expect her brother Emmett Swan by later, but he's the only guest I am expecting, and even if it is him, still call me just to be safe."

"Yes sir, absolutely."

Edward shook George's hand with his free one and then ran it over my hair before placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "Come on love, let's get you to bed. You need your rest."

I nodded and yawned, Edward led me to the elevator and then when the door opened he took me to his door and opened it. With his hand in the small of my back he guided me to the bedroom where he placed my duffel on his bed. He told me to grab a shower in his bathroom and change while he fixed me some food before I went to sleep. He closed the door and left me alone in his innermost inner sanctum.

I observed a few things I hadn't noticed the last night before grabbing by toiletries and jammies and heading into his bathroom for my shower. I looked around in awe. I hadn't actually made it into his bathroom the last time and OhMyGosh it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Made of the same marble tile as the main bathroom, this room had a huge double sink with a massive shower tiled in like marble with at least a half dozen shower heads pointing in all directions inside it with a sunken Jacuzzi tub on the far side and a door that led to a small toilet area on the far side of the tub.

After my initial assessment I looked again, surprised at how perfectly clean it was considering he said that he cleaned these rooms himself, not willing to allow the maid in to clean his inner-inner sanctum. I finally sighed, slipped out of my dirty scrubs and grabbed my toiletries. Upon stepping into the complicated shower I spent a few minutes fidgeting with the dials and settings before finally figuring it out.

Oh my goodness…that shower was the epitome of amazing feats of plumbing genius. I had never in my entire life had a more relaxing shower.

I stepped out to towel dry my body and slip into my plaid flannel pajama bottoms and black tank top, throwing one of Emmett's old NW sweatshirts over the top for good measure. I stepped out of the bathroom with wet hair to find myself face to chest with a smiling Edward.

"You are absolutely swimming in that sweatshirt." He walked over to his dresser and opened a drawer pulling out a SWAT sweatshirt with his name on the back. "I'm a lot smaller than Emmett. Try this one. I think it will fit you better."

I smiled and took it, yanking Emmett's tent over my head to hear Edward gasp again like he had the night of our date. I giggled before tossing his sweatshirt over my head. It was still too big for me, but it was not nearly as huge as Emmett's. I held my hands out and spun for him. "Better?"

He stalked toward me grabbing me by my hips and pulling my body flush with his before kissing me hard and then moving his lips down my neck. "I love seeing you in my clothes…especially clothes that have my name on them."

I sighed as he reached the juncture where my neck and shoulder meet and then pulled away. "Come on, let's eat real quick and then we'll climb into bed and get you to sleep."

"**We're** climbing into bed?"

He shrugged, "You really think I'm going to give up the chance to hold you in my arms and possibly catch another one of the most amazing naps I've ever experienced in the process?"

I chuckled and reached out to take the hand he offered. He led me to the dining room where two covered plates waited for us. He pulled off the lid with a flourish to reveal barbecue baked chicken, potato salad, steamed broccoli, cauliflower, baby carrots and a warm roll.

"Okay, I know you didn't cook all this while I was in the shower….what did you do?"

He shrugged again. "I called the maid and told her if she could have lunch ready for us by the time I got you home then she could have the rest of the week off with pay. She readily agreed."

I sighed and settled into my seat taking a bite of the juicy chicken and groaned. I took a few more bites of the delicious morsels on the plate, moaning appreciatively after each bite before turning to him. "Edward, you have to give this woman a raise. This is amazing!"

He laughed and watched as I greedily gobbled down the delicious food with fervor. I finally set down my fork, feeling nearly catatonic with my full stomach and my lead lined eyelids. Edward chuckled and stood in front of me, offering his hands as he helped me out of my seat and led me back to his bedroom. He motioned me aside and pulled back the sheets and comforter before helping me slip in.

His bed felt like a silk lined cloud. I slid between the two softest, most luxurious sheets I had ever felt in my life. They had to be those thousand dollar Egyptian cotton numbers I had never actually seen in person but only heard about. When Edward and I had laid down last night, we were just on top of the comforter, which was amazing enough, but oh, this was like sleeping in a French silk pie or something. This was definitely my first really taste of how the other half lives and I have to admit, I could understand why someone would get used to it.

Edward disappeared soon after tucking me in to go clear our dishes and reappeared within minutes to slide into his side of the bed. I was barely awake when he returned, but still with it enough to wrap myself immediately into his side, resting my head on his chest and inhaling his intoxicating scent. Within seconds I was passed out, tucked comfortably into my own slice of heaven on earth.

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EmPOV

Fuck! This was the worst possible time to have to leave town for a fucking training camp in Minnesota. We have to go to Camp Ripley for a week of training then have three whole fucking days of downtime that we have to fill before we can begin the second part of our training at the Shootout House and all the while Bella will be in Chicago and basically defenseless.

Fucking administrators and their need to arbitrarily trade out team members! We wouldn't need to go to another fucking training camp if we weren't having our members rotated in and out like jugs of milk at the grocery store. It's fucking ridiculous.

To say I was pissed off when I finally managed to nail down Mr. Clean's identity was a big fucking understatement. Mr. Clean turns out to be none other than James "Wingnut" Trager, a minor lynchpin in Deluca's network and also happened to be his cousin. What are the fucking odds? Well I guess with Bella around they're actually pretty good.

Bella just upped her clout from Danger Magnet to fucking Danger Gravitational Field. Of all the people to end up being wrapped up with, it just had to be this guy and then to make matters worse the guys and I practically painted a bullseye on her back by kicking his ass in the alley behind Dooley's that night, announcing our professional status. We were all beyond fucked.

I stormed my way to Edward's building, chattering endlessly with Jasper who had left Alice sleeping in her apartment to work his manipulative magic with the chief in an attempt to land a protection detail for the girls in our absence. Things weren't looking good. I made it into the lobby where I was stopped by the big ass doorman who's nametag read 'Jensen'.

"I'm sorry sir; Mr. Masen said no guests and everyone must be announced. May I ask your name please."

"Swan, Emmett Swan." Instantly the large ape relaxed and smiled. "Miss Bella's brother. It's pleasure to meet you sir. Your sister is a very kind and special person. Am I to take your gruff stance to mean that Mr. Masen was correct in his assumptions that Miss Bella is in danger?"

I grunted and nodded hoping he would let me past. "Just one second sir. He said you were the only one allowed up today, but even you were to be announced to be safe. Let me ring his line." I stood and waited and he frowned and punched the number again before hanging up and punching it a third time. "I'm sorry sir. He isn't picking up. He must have fallen asleep with Miss Bella."

"Sleeping better be all that's happening in that fucking apartment," I mumbled beneath my breath.

He raised his eyebrow but didn't respond. "Listen, I need to get up there sooner rather than later. Let me up and I'll wake his ass up, don't worry."

"Um…well I guess if you prove your identity through some sort of ID then I could let you through since he did technically already approve you."

I sighed and yanked out my wallet where I flashed my driver's license and my badge side by side. He smiled and nodded before gesturing for me to continue on to the elevator. I grunted a half hearted thanks and made my way to the Penthouse floor and the whole elevator ride I couldn't help but think that Masen better not be doing anything that would warrant an article in a different kind of Penthouse. I spent years hinting that the two of them were good together, but now that it was happening I was having some major big brother instincts rearing their ugly head.

The elevator reached the floor and I immediately stalked around the corner to bang on his door loudly while yelling for him to open up. After five minutes with no luck I changed tactics and began working my way up and down the hall beside his door banging on the walls hoping to hit his bedroom. Finally five more minutes later an irritated Edward yanked open his door with half open eyes.

"'Bout time fucker. I've been pounding on your door for ten minutes."

"Jensen was supposed to call to let me know you were here."

"He tried, three times asswipe. You didn't answer."

"Oh, sorry. I fell asleep. Come on in."

I stomped in and fell onto his couch with a growl. "Do I want to know where you were sleeping?"

"Probably not," he answered with smug smile that made me want to punch is cocky little mouth.

"Listen, We got bigger fish to fry at the moment. The thug is linked to the whole Blagojevich sting and just so happens to be Deluca's fucking cousin. Our bullshit need to show our muscle that night pretty much painted a big red target on Bella's back. Chief doesn't sound like he's going to let us have a detail for her while we're gone either. I'm at a fucking loss as to what to do. This shit is a total Fubar man."

"Fuck!" Edward yelled running his hands through his hair. "Son of a bitch!" He picked up the nearest knickknack on his end table and threw it across the room where it crashed against one of the two solid walls. "What if I called in sick or something? Maybe we can trick one of the newbs into putting himself in the hospital or something. The whole point is to bond the team with the newbies and teach us to work together as a new group right? If one of the newbs is out then there's no trip."

"Keep it down man. Let's not wake up Bella before we have some answers. Besides with night shifts all week, she needs her rest."

"Don't sweat it Em. My room is soundproof."

"Your room? Wait…you mean you actually let her into your room? You don't even let your Aunt and Uncle in that room! You don't even let the fucking maid clean that room and you're letting my little sister sleep in there?"

He smiled that big goofy grin that has been plastered on his face since the moment she forgave him. "Yep. It was my way of letting her all the way in. No more walls and barriers no more distance and secrets. I am now an open book for Bella."

"Bet she ate that sappy shit up."

He frowned. "Do me a favor Emmett and really listen to what I'm about to say. I love your sister. I know it took me a really long time to figure it out and I don't have a good track record when it comes to women, but your sister is my everything. No games, no manipulations, no bullshit. I'm going all in here, so please don't say shit like that making it sound like I'm trying to play her. I know it's not true, but I really don't want her to start thinking it is because it absolutely is not. Okay?"

I was fucking floored. He really was serious about all of this shit. That was the most sincere and heartfelt thing that Edward Masen had said to me in the entire eight years I had known him. If this was even half of what he was showing to Bella then I knew he really was being totally legit.

"Alright man, I'm sorry. I see you're being straight with her and me. I'll chill on the comments. Seriously though man, you go all out like this you better keep it up. It's going to really upset her if you pull back in your shell after laying it all out like this. Don't get all chicken shit because I'll tell you right now, if you burn her you won't get another chance. She'll run like a bat out of hell."

He nodded looking a combination of sad and determined. "I know Em. I won't screw it up. There's no way I'm giving her up now. I just have to fucking figure out how to keep her safe for the next two weeks…"

We both sighed and rubbed our hands through our hair, grunting occasionally while trying to think of ways to keep our Bella safe. Yeah, my big brother instincts were in full bloom, but even through the haze of my instinctual need to protect my sister's nonexistent virtue, I could see that he was hers, heart and soul.

Edward bent over and gripped the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

"Fuck Emmett, I don't think I can leave her with all this shit going on. Just the idea makes me want to puke up everything I've eaten for the past week. I don't know how to explain it except to say that I feel so damned protective of her, no…feel isn't the right word, its like a compulsion, an obsession. Training won't be worth shit if I'm spending the whole time worrying about her safety instead of what I'm supposed to be focusing on."

I reached over and clasped a hand on his shoulder. "I know man. I know…we'll think of something. We have four days…surely we can think of something!"

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A/N: Well there you have it. Bella's been upgraded from Danger Magnet to Danger Gravitational Field. Like I said, lots of fluff here, but some good new intrigue too. Hope you enjoyed. Please take time to review. I was so excited to see all of the new story alerts, favorites, and reviews. I didn't have time to respond to everyone with being gone for so long and working so hard once back to recover and get updates on all of my stories, so I want to say a special thanks to each one of you for your awesome reviews!!!

_**I also want to remind you all again though, there have been a lot of people adding favorites but not alerts. If you don't do an alert then you won't get email reminders when I post new chapters so please be sure to do a story ALERT if you want those handy dandy little reminders! Thanks again for reading guys and once again…you guys rock!**_


	16. Bonding and Plotting

**Disclaimer: All Twilight Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The mention of real individuals in this story is for dramatic effect only and is completely fabricated (as far as I know at least).**

_**Author's Note: Sorry this has taken so long to get out, but two things took place last week. First of all my baby has learned to crawl, so now my attentions are even more divided than before. She has been rolling for a while, but usually stayed close by and in view at all times, but now that she's crawling I'm a far busier woman. **_

_**Secondly, I have been working to finish up the story that got me started on Fanfiction. In November I was encouraged to post the story that had been bubbling in my head, In the Shadow of the Day. ITSOTD story grew so big I chose to break it up into two volumes more or less, and I just finished up the last few chapters of the sequel, Chasing Away the Shadows, last week. It feels so good to have finally finished it after nearly 100 chapters between the two stories (granted they were all much shorter chapters than I've been writing on here). **_

_**Anyway, I chose to focus all of my energy on finishing Chasing Shadows so that now my sole writing project is this story. :D I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter though. This one isn't as exciting as the others have been, but it's important. Also fair warning that there's a touch of smut in this chapter in case you're adverse to that. Thanks for taking the time to read!**_

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15. Bonding and Plotting

**EPOV**

Emmett and I racked our brains for nearly two hours and came up with a few ideas, but nothing that really made me feel much better. One way or another I was going to have to figure out a way to keep Bella safe.

I went into the guest bathroom and washed my face before creeping back into my bedroom as quietly as possible in hopes of not waking the sleeping beauty in my bed. I closed the door quietly behind me and turned to go join Bella in bed again when I froze, finding it hard to breathe.

Bella was stretched out across the mattress, the covers tossed off of her body and my sweatshirt now thrown haphazardly to hang halfway off the foot of the bed. This left her in nothing but her flannel pajama bottoms and a thin black tank top that clung alluringly to her curves riding up slightly to reveal the pale flesh of her flat stomach and her belly button.

I groaned internally at the difficulties this caused me. I had a hard enough time keeping my hands to myself already, trying so hard not to turn our situation into something more. Everything about Bella called out to me like a siren's song, but I knew things had to go slowly. This whole relationship thing was new to me and my habits and instincts didn't align with what we were attempting. I wanted her so bad I could taste it…but I had to force myself to slow down or else I'd fuck it all up before we would even get a chance to begin.

I tiptoed closer to the bed, forcing my eyes to move up her body from the flesh that was tempting me so evilly and my heart jerked in my chest. My god she was such an angel. Her hair splayed in a halo across her pillow with her hands resting gently by her face; she looked heavenly in peaceful slumber. My stomach clenched and my chest felt hollow as I gazed at the utter perfection that was sleeping so beautifully in my bed. I knew I didn't even begin to deserve her and yet here she was in my bed waiting for me to join her.

I sighed, pushed the sheets down on my side of the bed and then paused and smiled…I had a side of the bed now. I never had to have a side before because I never shared it with anyone, ever. My heart clenched at the thought that I never wanted to not share this bed with Bella ever again. I finished pushing the comforter and sheet down and then as gently as possible climbed into the bed next to her hoping not to wake her.

The second my head hit the pillow I heard a sweet sigh next to me followed by Bella curling into my side to rest her face on my chest, her tiny hand splayed across my stomach, and her right knee hitched over my thigh. I swallowed hard, willing my body to keep itself in check. If I thought it was hard to keep myself on track while watching her from across the room, then this was a trial by fire. Her body felt far too good next to me, her warmth crossing the bounds of our fabric pajamas made my heart speed. The touch brought back the hum in my body that I've grown addicted to feeling when she was close. I was so pathetic, and yet I wouldn't trade these feelings for all the money in the world.

She began to breathe a little deeper, the rise and fall of her chest causing her breasts to rub lightly against my side which in turn caused me to clamp my eyes shut tight in an attempt to distract myself. I tried baseball stats, hockey stats, naming the state capitols in alphabetical order, and counting backwards from one hundred but nothing seemed to work. Then my thoughts fluttered to having to leave Bella in a few days with the situation we were facing and suddenly my focus shifted from the feel of her body to my worries for her safety.

When Emmett first told me who the bald guy really was I totally fucking lost it, shattering some very expensive knickknack Esme bought for the coffee table. My adrenaline was pumping overtime and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. The mere idea of leaving Bella at all right now was hard, much less while knowing she could be in some sort of danger.

We sat tossing around ideas for nearly two hours. the sort that ranged from what we could do if we actually did get a detail for her while we were gone - which sounded rather unlikely, to taking her along - which wouldn't be feasible with her internship. Nothing sounded good enough or made us happy except for one option, finding a way to get out of it and keep her safe ourselves.

We thought of ways we could delay the trip or get it cancelled and in the end decided that if we had to give up our jobs to keep her safe then we would. Bella was more important to the both of us than anything else, except for maybe Rose in Emmett's case. We agreed to try a couple more things before we would start attempting to sabotage the trip and also agreed that it made the most sense for Bella to stay at my place for the time being thanks to the added building security. I was thrilled. I'd only had to do it twice since Bella and I started to work things out and yet I was already painfully aware of how hard it was for me to leave her at the end of the night. I rejoiced in the fact that for at least the next four days, if not longer, Bella would be staying with me.

I tried to make myself fall back to sleep, but I just couldn't. The angel in my arms was far too beautiful and I couldn't make myself look away. It was nearing six in the evening when I heard her breathing change and she started to stir. She groaned, stretching her arms in the air behind her as she arched her back and twisted. I felt my adam's apple bob as I swallowed hard, watching her stretch her limber body. Once she stretched she returned to her original position on my chest and froze. Apparently she hadn't realized where she was until after she stretched.

Her eyes shot up to meet mine and she blushed momentarily before pulling her leg back from over my thigh. I smiled down at her, willing my libido to cool down.

"Hey sleepyhead, did you sleep well?"

She smiled back up at me and sat up, yawning and rolling her neck before looking down and instantly crossing her arms across her torso, looking around for the sweater she fell asleep in.

"It's at the end of the bed. I got up when Emmett stopped by to talk and when I came back a couple of hours later you had kicked off all of the covers and taken it off. I assume you got too hot."

She spied the sweatshirt at the end of the bed and crawled quickly down to grab it, giving me a spectacular view of her tight little ass, which certainly wasn't helping out my issues any. I grabbed the sheet, pulling it across my midsection to help disguise my current condition as she quickly put on the sweater before settling on her knees next to me.

"So, what did he have to say? It was no big deal and now you guys are going to back down right?" She looked so hopeful that it bothered me to have to give her the bad news. Knowing this was going to upset her, my personal issue seemed to solve itself quickly and I moved up to kneel in front of her and take her hand.

"I wish I could tell you that sweetheart, but unfortunately the bald guy is bad news…REALLY bad news. I have an idea, why don't you come with me and we'll make some coffee and start dinner. I will tell you everything over our meal and then you will really understand exactly why we are so worried."

She nodded before looking around the room quickly. "Do you think I could take a shower while you start dinner? That way I'll be ready to go then I can help you when I'm done."

I reached up to tuck a lock of her silky brown hair behind her ear. "That sounds like a good idea love. Does lasagna sound good?"

Her eyebrows shot up and she smiled. "Lasagna? So your culinary expertise extends beyond Eddie's special Omelets?"

I chuckled and offered my hand to help her to her feet. "Yes, is that really so surprising?"

She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around my waist and something inside my chest melted into a pile of goo in my toes. She looked straight up, resting her chin on my chest and smiled. "I guess not. It's just nice to see these other sides of you. I thought I knew you so well and yet I find I'm learning something new every day."

My arms, which had instantly wrapped around her shoulders, squeezed her quickly as I leaned down to kiss her sweet lips. "I love you being here with me and learning more about me. You already knew me better than most people, and I'm pretty sure that now you know me better than anybody else on the planet. I love you Bella, so damn much. I know I don't deserve you, but I'm going to do anything in my power to make you happy."

She sucked in a slow shuddering breath. "You don't really have to try so hard you know. All I need is for you to be yourself; let me see you for who you really are, and be faithful to me and me alone. Then I'll be the happiest woman on earth."

My heart sped as I watched her mouth form those words. She tipped up on her toes, removing her hands from my waist and instantly snaking them around my neck to grasp my hair as she took my mouth in a passionate kiss. We both moaned together as our tongues collided and I moved my hands up and down her sides before wrapping them around her waist, pulling her closer to me as I struggled against the urge to lay her back down on the bed and cover her with my body.

When we finally pulled away we were both panting. I rested my forehead on hers, unwilling to release her from my grasp. It was amazing how we fit together so perfectly. We shared a few more light pecks before I finally forced my hands to obey and released her from my embrace.

"Have a nice shower love. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." She smiled and nodded before I walked out of the bedroom door toward the kitchen.

I grabbed the supplies I needed from the fridge and cabinets as I set the oven to preheat. I immediately began browning the beef as I set about shredding the cheese and opening the containers of ingredients.

I had the entire lasagna assembled and was getting ready to slip it into the oven when Bella appeared in the doorway wearing a pair of shorts and one of my SWAT t-shirts with a knot tied on the side; her hair still wet from the shower. The sun shined behind her through the windows of the living room, making the highlights of her hair shine with hints of red. I couldn't help but once again take notice at how breathtaking she was. In my past a woman would have to be perfectly put together with each hair in place, perfect make up, a tight dress, and fuck me pumps for me to even give her a second look, much less find her one tenth as stunning as I found Bella at that very moment. I was so fucking whipped and I really didn't mind one damn bit.

She crossed the floor and hopped up on one of the bar stools next to where I was working on the island counter top with an excited smile. "Well, what can I do to help?"

I looked around a minute. "Hmm… I'm finished with the lasagna. It needs an hour to cook. We still need to warm the garlic bread, but that just goes in the last ten minutes while the oven is cooling off, and we need to do the salad, but if we do that too soon it will just wilt. So I guess we're all done for now."

I turned to the coffee pot that had just finished running through the fresh ground French vanilla blend that I knew she loved so much. I poured a large mug for each of us and sitting one in front of her. "Milk?" She nodded so I turned grabbing the gallon out of the fridge and took off the lid letting it hover above her cup. "Tell me when."

I began to pour and after I added quite a bit leaving her coffee looking almost caramel colored she told me to stop. I added a bit to mine before returning the gallon to the fridge.

She grabbed the sugar container in front of her offering me some. I nodded and asked her for two spoonfuls and she carefully added the sugar before adding four spoonfuls to her own. I couldn't resist the chuckle that escaped my throat. "Want any coffee with your milk and sugar love?"

She snickered and rolled her eyes. "What? I like it creamy and sweet. Anything wrong with that?" She cut her eyes over at me as she pulled her lip between her teeth with a seductive smile. I instantly felt my pants tighten at her expression. Fuck me…she was being all sexy and flirty, as if I didn't have enough trouble keeping myself in check!

I shifted in my spot a bit before suggesting we move into the living room where it would be more comfortable. I took her hand and led her to the couch where I sat down pulling her to sit next to me gently so she wouldn't spill her coffee. She took a sip and hummed appreciatively. Good Lord, was everything she did today going to turn me on? Could I please have a break? I'm trying to be the good guy here and she was not making it easy at all.

I took a few sips of my coffee before sitting it on a coaster on the coffee table. She watched and then did the same before shifting to face me on the couch with her legs pulled Indian style underneath her. I shifted to face her, grateful for the space created by our bent legs to help me keep my hormones in check.

She smiled resting her hands in her lap. "Okay, I'm ready now. Lay it on me."

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Hmm…where to start…I guess ironically enough I can start with girls night out where you met that jackass doctor and we got that late-night call out. We're not really supposed to talk about the case, but since it directly affects your safety now, I think you have a right to know. We were called to bust a warehouse run by a known mob lynchpin Troy Deluca."

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "I heard about him on the news. You guys did that bust?"

I nodded. "The press only knows a small sliver of the whole story though. The FBI is working in conjunction with our department to keep their presence in the case hidden, but this all ties back in to Blagojevich." She crinkled her nose. She never liked him either. "Deluca is very important in the whole case against Blagojevich and is known to have helped him get elected, has been funded and assisted by Blagojevich to get his operations running, and is believed to pay a portion of his income to Blagojevich on a regular basis. Anyway, Deluca had a very loyal following of henchmen at his disposal and one is none other than James "Wingnut" Trager, Deluca's cousin, you'll know him as the bald guy that groped you at Dooley's that you surprised the fuck out of when you took him down on your own. God you were so fucking sexy that night!"

I blushed when I realized I added the last sentence of word vomit, she ducked her head with a crimson glow of her own, nibbling her lip and glancing back at me a few times through her eyelashes. I smiled and reached my hand down to tip her chin back up to me. "Please don't be shy love. You are an amazing woman. Hell you've been driving me crazy all day. You looked like an angel in my bed, about made me need to take a cold shower when you curled into me after I talked to Emmett and again when you did that wake up stretch, and about made me swallow my own tongue when you walked into the kitchen earlier. And that's when you're not even trying. Trust me when I tell you that you are always beautiful, but when you're being that strong confident woman that I saw on that dance floor you are the sexiest creature to ever walk this planet and don't ever doubt it."

She scoffed and chuckled uncomfortably and I sighed. I knew I was never going to convince her so I let it go. I did the best I could by telling her how I felt, and from this point on I was just going to hope that showing her might convince her.

"Anyway, we're off topic. Later that night we caught Trager hassling another woman so we took you up on your offer and decided to teach him a lesson, but, and this is the stupid part on our side, we had to go bragging first about the fact that we were SWAT officers and you were Emmett's sister. We made the big Deluca bust later that night, but Trager wasn't there because he was too busy being patched up at the Northwestern ER. So you see, he's still free, and is fully aware of your ties to us, and our ties to SWAT, and SWAT's involvement in the arrest of his cousin. If he decides to pursue some kind of retaliation, you would be the easiest and most damaging target for all of us."

Bella swallowed hard her eyes wide and searching my own before she sighed and reached over for her mug of coffee with a small 'hmm'.

"What Bella?" I asked nervously recognizing those cogs turning in her head and immediately realizing she wasn't going to take this seriously just as I feared.

"Edward, I swear you boys really do over react when it comes to me. First of all, Trager you said his name is?" I nodded. "Trager didn't exactly seem like the brightest crayon in the box. I seriously doubt he put everything together and most likely never will. Secondly, you guys aren't the only SWAT team in town, so why would he assume it was your team that took down his cousin? And finally, I'm guessing he's going to be more worried about protecting his own skin than trying to take revenge for his cousin. After meeting him, I would say he's not really the 'loyalty for my brothers before myself' type guy."

I grunted and let my head fall against the back of the couch in annoyance. My voice had a hard edge when I spoke again. "Bella, you really aren't understanding how deep this thing goes. Some of these people mean serious business and wouldn't think twice about making you a pawn, considering you to be just one more bit of collateral damage." I scooted closer and reached over to pull her into my arms, burying my nose in her hair and kissing her temple. "I think you underestimate how decimating it would be for all of us if something were to happen to you…especially for Emmett and me. I don't know what I'd do if anything were to happen to you, but I can tell you right now it would be bad."

She took in a deep breath and let it out in a huff. Bella sat up on her knees to curl up into my side, tucking her head under my chin and wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I have a pretty good idea; it's probably about what it would be like for me if anything ever happened to any of you guys, but especially you or Emmett." She took in another deep breath shaking her head slightly. "Fine, what's the game plan?"

I ran my hands through her hair, relishing in the smell of her strawberry shampoo and the silkiness of her still damp locks. "We're not sure yet, but we're trying to find a way out of or delay the training trip."

She shot out of my arms and sat straight up next to me in a second. "No way! No way are you guys going to skimp on the training when you're adding two new guys to the squad. You have to learn to work together and this trip is crucial to turn you back into the team you need to be with the newbs. Skimping on the training is way more dangerous than the _potential,_ _quasi threat_ to me thanks to baldy. Hell NO! You guys are going. I'm going to miss you like hell those two weeks, but I will not let you guys do something that will ultimately risk yourselves. And to support my reasoning I site our recent conversation regarding what would happen if anything happened to you guys!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, letting my head fall against the back of the couch again. Of course she wouldn't make this easy. This is Bella we're talking about. Stubborn, willful, beautiful, glorious, sexy, determined, bullheaded, mother-hen Bella…and god did I ever love her!

"Well Love, do you have any suggestions because that's the best we had. The chief refuses to provide guards for you because he says there's no tangible proof you are a target. And as much as I'd love to take you with me and hog you away in a hotel room every night for the next two weeks, there's no way you can be away from your internship for that long. So we're all out of options besides finding away out of the training."

She groaned furrowing her brow and nibbling her bottom lip lightly. Her eyes darted back and forth as though she were reading a book as she melted next to me on the couch. After a little while she shifted over, lifting her legs to rest on the couch and leaning her back into my side to rest her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my right arm around her, holding her as close as I could and buried my nose back into her fragrant hair. She cuddled back and sighed appreciatively before shooting up again and nearly ripping my arm out of socket as she went.

I stretched my arm out to the side with a grimace as she turned toward me with bright eyes. "Alice!" She squeaked. "Alice and I work the same schedule more or less, she lives in a high security building with her parents, has a driver on call if she ever needs a ride, and her parents have a security company on retainer for the times when her father is negotiating a controversial deal or receives noteworthy death threats. If she and I stay at her parent's place the whole time you guys are gone and utilize the stuff her parents already have set up then we should be more than safe while you're gone."

I frowned as I watched her excited hopeful face beam at me while I thought over her idea. "I guess it could possibly work. I'd want to do a little research on the security company to make sure they are reputable enough and collaborate with Alice's driver, the company, and the security people at Hancock, and we'd have to check with Emmett."

Her smile was radiant and I couldn't help but smile back. I reached out to pull her against my chest again, missing her body heat too much to let her stay so far away. I rested my cheek on top of her head as I sighed. "Damn and I was hoping this would be a valid excuse not to have to leave you for two weeks. I can't stand to leave you overnight, much less for two whole fucking weeks."

She shifted, tucking her face into the cook of my neck and kissed it before sighing; her warm breath sent chills down my spine. "I know…I feel the same way."

She placed another kiss there and then shifted again placing another further up my neck. I couldn't suppress the groan that rumbled in my chest. The feel of her smooth lips on my neck as they slowly traveled up to my ear and nipped gently on my earlobe before her hands slid up to cup my cheeks as she kissed across from my ear to my lips was a beautiful torture. She shifted to her knees on the couch, leaning into me when she placed three soft kisses on my lips, each lingering slightly longer than the one before.

My hands suddenly developed a mind of their own and began to roam up and down her sides. She deepened the kiss tracing my lips with her tongue and I opened my mouth to her sweetness. My right hand reached around to the small of her back bringing her closer as I became more and more intoxicated by her proximity and her taste, never satisfied and always wanting more.

My heart jumped in my chest and my pants jumped a little too when she suddenly shifted her weight to straddle my legs. She sat back on my knees, still keeping her hips a safe distance from mine and yet increasing the heat of our kiss. My hands continued to pull her closer at the small of her back and after a bit she relaxed, allowing me to pull her body flush with mine and both our breathing picked up pace. The feel of her body pressed closely to mine was maddening and I felt myself harden in response. We both moaned and I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head.

Finally satisfied with how close we were, my hands took to rubbing her sides eagerly, drifting dangerously closer and closer to the side of her breasts with each pass.

Just as my hands were about to make contact the timer for the lasagna began to go off and we broke away panting, both of our eyes full of lust. I closed my eyes, somewhat grateful for the timer that kept me from pushing too far. Bella slid over my legs to sit next to me on the couch tossing her head back in apparent frustration.

I smirked in spite of myself as I got up and walked into the kitchen to remove the lasagna, turn off the oven, and slide the prepped garlic bread into the oven to warm while the lasagna cooled.

I began to pull out the vegetables for the salad and wash them as I mentally kicked myself for nearly loosing control like I did. Five more minutes of her on my lap like that and I probably would have ended up pinning her down on the couch with half of our clothes lost to the floor.

I began to tear the lettuce as I started wondering if the old stories during World War II about peter salt were true and if I could find some. I needed something to help control my libido and that tempting angel still splayed out on my couch in frustration was not helping at all.

I had just finished tearing the iceberg and romaine when Bella floated in smiling. "Well can I help yet? Want me to cut veggies or something?"

I smiled, sliding the carrots and a grater toward her and she smiled back, taking the carrot and cleaning off the outer skin before using the grater to create thin slivers of carrots that she sprinkled onto the salad I was tossing in the bowl. Next she found a cucumber that she washed and sliced thinly, adding them in a decorative manner on top before dicing a tomato to add to the mix. By that time the bread and lasagna were ready for consumption the salad was ready so we set the dining room table.

It was nice to sit and share a meal in the dining room with Bella. In all the years I had lived in that apartment, I had only actually dined in there a handful of times, two of which were now with Bella. I typically ate either at the island in the kitchen or on the couch watching TV because the dining room was a lonely place to eat alone.

After we finished we sat and talked a while longer before getting up and working together to put away the leftovers and clean the dishes. I loved how we worked together seamlessly as a team. We didn't even have to discuss it, we just automatically fell together as Bella washed while I dried and put away the dishes.

We cleaned off the counters and leaned against them talking a while longer. Finally we found our way back to the living room to curl up together on the couch before we had to leave to get her to work on time. I hated the idea of her going to work with all that was going on and knowing that there was no way we could ever completely secure the location. But if she missed too much work then she would face major setbacks in her internship and possibly have to repeat her intern year before she could move up to first year resident, so we had no choice.

We talked and laughed as she looked at the pictures on the entertainment center and we started reminiscing about things we all did together in the past. It was so incredible how much of a moron I was for all of those years not to see how good we were together. All of our best memories seemed to be of the same events and the same places. We were getting pretty close to time to go when Bella sat back up again and looked at me with an uncomfortable expression.

"Um Edward, just for clarification sake…what are we?"

I frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you referred to me as your girlfriend to Lauren and well, I wasn't sure what to refer to you as up to this point. I didn't know if that was for her sake or if that's what we're really going to label this. Are you my boyfriend? Are we really TOGETHER? I don't want to push you, but I just wanted to clarify."

I pulled her to my chest and tucked my finger under her chin to pull her lips to mine. As I ghosted my lips over hers I answered. "Well for _clarification_ sake, I would definitely say you are my girlfriend, I am your boyfriend, we are in a committed relationship, and we are in love. Does that about cover it?"

Her smile took over her whole face and her eyes twinkled at me as she leaned in placing a passionate kiss on my lips, grabbing my hair tightly and massaging my scalp with her short nails. I moaned and felt my eyes roll into the back of my head behind my closed eyelids again. She moaned in response before finally pulling away and breathing deeply. "Thank you, I really needed to hear that."

I smirked at her with a wink. "Hell baby, if it means you kiss me like that I'll say it all day every day."

She laughed and smacked me on the arm before looking at the clock with a sigh. "Well time to go turn into Dr. Swan. I take it you are physically escorting me to work tonight?"

I nodded, draping my arms across the back of the couch and kicking my feet up on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. "Yep, just call me your own personal bodyguard."

"Oh, so does that make you Kevin Costner?"

I snorted, rolled my eyes and shook my head as she giggled at herself before disappearing into my bedroom. She came back out ten minutes later with her long beautiful hair expertly tucked back in a French braid, her blue scrubs looking crisp and clean under a snow white lab coat with a stethoscope hanging around her neck and her employee badge hanging from the pocket. She walked over to the round table in the entryway grabbing her purse before turning to me with a seductive smirk.

"Well Kevin, you ready to part the masses to get me to work on time?"

I made my way over to her, placing my hand on the small of her back and leaning down to whisper in her ear. "So if I'm Kevin and you're Whitney does that mean we get to get hot and sweaty later on too?"

I shouldn't have done it. I was trying to be so good, but that seductive smirk totally brought out a tiny hint of Slutward that I was trying so hard to suppress. She sucked in a breath and tensed, standing a little straighter as she gulped loudly before turning her head so that our lips were only a few scant centimeters apart. "I'm not quite ready for that yet. It's been a long, long time for me. It's definitely not that I don't want to, because I REALLY do…Just not yet. I know that when the time is right it will happen."

This time I froze as her breath wafted across my lips and I licked them in hopes of tasting her on her breath. I hadn't meant to really make her give up such a confession, but I had to admit it was good to know that we were on the same page in that respect. I wanted her so badly it was ridiculous, but I knew we weren't ready. I closed the space between us, placing a light but very passionate love-filled kiss on her lips before whispering back. "I know love. When the time is right… Let's get you to work."

She kissed me one more time before walking ahead of me slightly and then waiting as I locked the door. She took my hand and curled herself around my arm as we walked toward the elevator. As the door opened Lauren stepped out pulling a man in a suit by his tie toward her door. She shot a look our way and Bella tightened her grip on my arm. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer and kissing her temple as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

The elevator doors closed and I found myself unable to resist kissing her one more time before we left the building, knowing it would probably be my last chance considering Bella's rules about public displays of affection at work. We were still wrapped in each other's arms when the doors opened on the ground floor. We broke apart and stepped out to see Donnelly's smiling face from behind the security desk. I stole a glance at my watch before pulling Bella over to meet him in person.

"Donnelly, I want you to meet my girlfriend Dr. Bella Swan in person. Bella this is Donnelly."

"It's such a pleasure to meet you Dr. Swan." Donnelly beamed at Bella. I could tell Jensen already bragged about my girl to him what with the way he was smiling knowingly at the two of us.

"Please call me Bella. What's your name?"

Donnelly nodded with a smile. "Donnelly, ma'am. Jason Donnelly. You can call me Jason if you wish."

Bella's smile was radiant as she nodded. "It's nice to meet you Jason."

I quickly made sure Donnelly was aware of the situation surrounding Bella and the necessary security precautions. As I assumed, Jensen had made sure he was well aware of everything and we made our way out into the chilly October night with her once again wrapped around my arm as we held hands.

My mind was wandering over all of the security issues I needed to cover and the phone call I needed to make to Emmett when Bella's voice broke my thoughts. "That was too fast…I'm not ready to leave you yet," she mumbled quietly, squeezing my hand.

"I don't want to leave you yet either love, but you have to go to work. Have a good night sweetheart."

She sighed before turning to hug me tightly around the waist and kissing me quickly on the lips, surprising me at her open PDA. "I love you Edward. I'll see you in the morning?" She said as she began walking backward into the building keeping her gaze locked on me.

"Bright and early."

"I don't get off until ten!" She stopped looking confused as I just smiled.

"Yes, but you get a breakfast break before rounds right? Around 5:30?"

She huffed. "Alice."

I nodded with a chuckle. "Want waffles from the bistro?"

"Mmmm…those sound good. Crap, now I'm going to be thinking about waffles all night!"

I laughed. "Sorry love. See you in the morning."

She ran back the few feet to me again to throw her arms around my neck and kiss me one more time. "See you in the morning. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella."

She turned and ran into the building. I just watched her disappear into the lobby and down the hallway. Once she was gone from view I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Emmett.

"Hey man, we gotta talk. She's resisting plan A, but she's come up with a potentially viable plan B. Mind if I stop by?"

I took off again walking toward Emmett's apartment my thoughts lingering on Bella and how I can't wait for the next morning.

I wasn't even able to get a second strike on the wooden door before Emmett flung open with an exasperated and grumpy look.

"Got her to work okay?" he grumbled, shutting the door hastily behind me and loping over to the couch where he flopped down with a grunt.

"Yeah," I mumbled back, melting into the recliner and kicking my feet up.

"Well? What's going on? What was her issue with plan A and what the hell is plan B?"

I coughed out a chuckle shaking my head as I thought about my feisty Bella as she rattled off her objections to our plans. "Well, she flat out refuses to let us miss out on training. She's convinced herself that we are over reacting and didn't think any of it was necessary."

Emmett groaned before I continued on. "I finally guilted her into taking the threat more seriously and letting us protect her and then when I told her our plan to get out of training she totally freaked out on me saying that it was out of the question and we had to go to training to get used to the newbies and learn to work as a team or else we were putting ourselves in danger and if anything happened to us she wouldn't be able to handle it and so the plan was out of the question."

Emmett huffed and rolled his eyes. "Well fuck…but you said she came up with another idea that has potential?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded. "She said Alice's family has a driver set up and keeps a guard company on retainer for when her father is at risk and that she thought Alice could probably utilize their services to keep them both protected and that they could stay in the Hancock with better security and would probably be even safer than when she's with us while we were gone. I told her we needed to discuss it and we'd have to coordinate with the guard company, Hancock security, and the driver to make sure they were competent, but it could work. I do know one thing; she's not going to let this go man. She's determined we go through with the training, so this may be our best option. I really don't fucking like it, but I don't see where we have much of a choice."

Emmett took in a deep breath and sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. "When did everything get so damn complicated? Don't you miss the days when she was a teenager and just went along with whatever we said without putting up a fight?"

My eyes widened, "NO, not really man."

He looked over at me and chuckled, "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't, which is just one more reason I wish we could. I like you man and I know you are in love with my sister, but I gotta tell you I'm losing years off my life here worrying about the two of you."

I nodded. "I understand Em, if the roles were reversed and you were the one with the rep and I was the one with the little sister to watch out for I'm sure I'd feel the same way. I know it won't help, but I promise you we're taking things slow and trying to do it all the right way. It's hard sometimes because she's fucking incredible, but we're keeping everything PG."

"Gah! Just don't say any more. I don't want to know…really I don't. I don't need visuals or to know how _hard_things get for you. Just…ugh!" He shivered and I couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction. If this was what he did when I was telling him things were staying PG then I definitely didn't want any other details to slip down the road when we start increasing the ratings.

"So, is she asking Alice about…" He got cut off by my phone playing my text alert. I flipped it open to see Bella's name and I smiled. I pushed the button to read the text.

**This night is going to drag. We are dead and it makes the time pass so much more slowly! On the plus side had time to talk to Alice and she's all for it. She's going to text you the number for the bodyguard agency and then call them up to tell them to expect your call. She's also sending you her driver's number and calling Hancock security to tell them to expect your call.**

Just as I finished reading her message I got another beep indicating I had a message from Alice. She sent all of the promised info plus the name of the security manager at Hancock I needed to speak with the next morning.

I went back to Bella's message and hit reply.

_Em's not happy about the new plan, but agrees we don't have any other viable options. I will call first thing in the morning and head over the Hancock after our breakfast in the morning. If the night gets too unbearable I could drop by later on with a midnight snack if you think you'd have the time to eat it with me._

While I was waiting for Bella to respond I gave Emmett an update of what Alice had to say and the fact that I had the information on my phone now. He nodded and insisted he come along with me to Hancock and be included in the phone calls to the agency and with the driver. I agreed just as my phone began to chime again.

**I may just take you up on that. Oh, and Alice says you boys better find yourselves time to practice because we're going to do nothing but prep for the Rock Band competition while you all are gone since we won't have anything better to do and will be stuck on house arrest most of that time.**

I laughed and told Emmett what she had to say. He began to cheer up a bit and bluster about how they didn't stand a chance. I responded while he continued to rant.

_Oh, I didn't realize you had actually managed to work anything out with Mama D yet. I didn't think you'd seen her since you had the idea between our date nights and your night shifts._

**I didn't, but Alice did. She's already gone out and bought all of the supplies and projector and TV's saying that she just this once would use her monthly clothing budget to go to something else. She claims that Dooley's helped bring her and Jasper together and she owes it to Mama D to pitch in.**

_Well that was nice of Alice. When are Rock Band nights going to start then?_

**The first Wednesday after you guys get home. Alice already printed up fliers and has begun putting them up and everything. She's really excited.**

_You guys just promise not to be wandering around town or hanging out at Dooley's until we're back to be there with you okay? Please?_

I added the please to appease her knowing that her first instinct as a feminist would probably be to balk. It took a while for her to respond back.

**Ugh…Fine! Only because you said Please. The second you guys are back though you are all taking us out for a night on the town. We're going to be going absolutely stir crazy while you are gone. Gotta Go, a few cases just walked in.**

I smiled before replying. _Okay Love. I promise. Have a good night and text me later if you get bored again._

When I looked back up again Emmett was watching me with his arms crossed rolling his eyes.

"You are such a pansy ass when it comes to my sister, you know that? You have that big stupid goofy grin on your face again."

I sighed, "Yep."

He burst into rumbling guffaws at my simple admittance, finally catching his breath again after a few minutes as I watched him with a semi-amused expression.

"Well, what did the squirt have to say?"

"Alice has already bought everything for Dooley's for Rock Band nights which begin the first Wednesday we are home and we're required to take the girls out for a night on the town to make up for their house arrest in our absence."

He nodded and smiled. "Good, that means she plans on actually sticking to this and keeping her head down while we're gone. I'm feeling a little better about this."

"Yeah she also says that we better get to practicing soon because they are going to have two whole weeks with nothing else to do during their time off while we are gone except practice and I get the feeling that they're pretty good already."

He scoffed. "They're girls and not gamers. We're going to wipe the floors with them with no practice at all."

I shook my head, "I wouldn't be so sure Em. You know how well Bells can sing and you should definitely know better than to underestimate Rose, or Alice for that matter."

He waved his hand dismissively at me as he reached down and grabbed the remote to flip on Sport Center as we settled in to relax.

I guess the ER picked back up after our texting because midnight came and went without any word from Bella. I went back home and climbed into bed after setting my alarm for 4:30 to grab a few winks before getting back up to meet Bella for breakfast. I settled into my sheets and rolled over and let out a strangled moan as my nose picked up Bella's scent in my sheets. I closed my eyes, remembering how incredible it had been to hold her in my arms in this bed less than twelve hours before.

I took a few more deep breaths, grabbing her pillow and wrapping my arms around it. It was nowhere near an acceptable Bella substitute, but it was better than nothing. I couldn't help but feel a little scared at how much Bella had already changed my life. A month or so ago the thought of ever wanting to share my bed with a woman would have been laughable, and yet here I was now struggling with the fact that my bed felt massive and cold without her warm body tucked against mine. Hell I was even staying on my side of the bed.

After about half an hour or so of deep thought and taking deep pulls of her scent like a teenager huffing glue, I finally drifted off only to dream about her in my arms instead. My dreams however were definitely more along the lines of PG 13 hitting a solid R and nearly rounding the corner into NC17 by the time my alarm jerked me awake.

I sat up sweaty and shifting uncomfortably at the rock hard muscle straining under my pajama pants. I fell back into the sheets arching my back as my hand slid down my body of its own volition. Before I even realized what I was doing I was stroking myself to the memories of the Bella from my dreams stripping her top and baring her beautiful round peaks with the perky hardened rose-colored nipples.

I was remembering the feeling in my dreams of running my hands over them before sitting up and pulling them into my mouth one at a time. Bella arched her back into my face as she began grinding against my erection. I felt my orgasm building already; the month of only having my hand to keep me company was definitely catching up to me. She gasped as I pulled and nipped at her nipple with my teeth before she grabbed my hair tightly in her fingers and yanked back, pulling me away from her breasts to claim my mouth with hers. Her tongue was demanding and teasing as she began to grind harder into me. I began to moan as I thrust my hips up to meet my hand as it worked me faster.

I could hear dream Bella moaning and calling my name and even just the memory of a dream was enough. I yelled out Bella's name with a gravel-laden voice, coming hard onto my stomach. I was still shaking as I came down from my orgasm. I found myself a little nervous that by the time Bella and I actually did manage to reach the point for sex that I'd be a two pump chump if just my weak dreams, which probably don't even come close to a comparison of the real life Bella, affected me so strongly.

After giving myself a few minutes to recover I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. I climbed directly into the shower to clean up the mess I made of myself. I knew that I was going to have to be doing a lot of that in combination with cold showers if I was going to get through this transition time until Bella and I were ready. I had already gone three weeks longer than I had in my entire adult life without getting any and to say it was difficult was an understatement. I needed a real release and the feel of a soft warm body badly, but until Bella was ready I would just have to wait.

I finished quickly and dressed before running down the bistro to grab the waffles and three containers of different flavored syrups so that she could choose which she wanted. I walked into the ER to find an exhausted looking Bella sitting at the nurse's station with her nose buried in a chart scribbling notes. She had dark circles under her half closed eyes. '

I walked up sitting the bag of food in front of her on the counter and she looked up with a bright smile. "Hey there! Is it 5:30 already?" She asked looking at the clock behind her in surprise.

"Almost, I'm five minutes early."

She took a deep breath, "Oh they smell so good. Can you give me just a couple more minutes to finish up my notes here? Then we'll head up to the third floor doctor's lounge to enjoy these before I have to join the Femmes for rounds."

I nodded. "Sure, no problem. You want me to go set up and you can join me?"

She shook her head adamantly. "Nope. I want you to sit right there in those chairs and wait for me. I want to have every second with you I can."

I smiled and saluted, earning a giggle before taking the bags and sitting down where she pointed. I watched her brow furrow at the page in front of her scribbling furiously. After about four minutes and three other charts she slammed closed the one in front of her, slid it into a stack on the desk, and stood up stretching with a big yawn.

She looked over at me with a big grin. "Okay Mr. Masen. I'm ready."

I walked over to where she stood and followed her to the elevator bank and pressed the up button. Soon a car arrived and we stepped in. The instant the door closed she was glued to my side with her lips pressing firmly onto mine. After a moment she pulled away with a sigh. "God I missed you tonight!" She chirped before stepping away from me seconds before the doors opened to the hallway of the third floor.

She exited the car and I stood there stunned a second before she turned back with a giggle. I snapped out of it and followed her down the long white hallway. Soon we were once again standing outside the familiar door to the lounge where I finally got brave enough to tell Bella how I felt and that I wasn't going to give up on her.

She opened the door and gestured for me to enter. I looked around to find the room was empty. I set down the bags on the table she had been working at that day I came here. The second the food was safely on the table she was in my arms again. Her hands tangled in the hair at the back of my neck, her lips once again moving with mine as I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her slightly so I didn't have to bend quite as much. She squeaked a bit and giggled before kissing me a bit longer and then pulled away.

We just smiled at each other for a few seconds before I finally put her down and began to pull out our breakfast. Then I walked over to the coffee machine and poured us two cups, adding cream and sugar in the quantities she used the previous night. I returned to the table where she had arranged our food neatly.

We sat and ate as she told me about her night and the crazy patients she had to deal with. She began teasing that she jinxed herself by texting me and it ended up being one of her nuttiest nights in the ER yet. We sat for nearly an hour laughing and talking after we finished the delicious waffles before she had to go down to meet the Femmes for rounds.

She kissed me quickly before we left the empty room and led me back to the elevators. She waved me off with a wink and blew me a kiss. I pretended to catch it and smiled, putting it on my cheek just as the door closed.

It took less than three seconds after the doors close to realize that I had become one of THOSE guys. You know the cheesy ones that do dorky ridiculous things to make their girls happy. I groaned and ran both of my hands through my hair tugging at the top with a sigh.

I reached the ground floor and followed Bella's directions finding myself out on the street. The sun was just beginning to tint the sky pink as I made my way down the street toward my apartment.

Once I was home I picked up the phone to start making my phone calls. I checked a few references for the bodyguard agency and discovered they were one of the best in the country, which really made me feel better. I called Emmett who decided he wanted to meet with them personally later that day to discuss things in more detail. He took the number to call and make an appointment and then we used three way calling to talk to the security manager at Hancock and Alice's driver. I made an appointment for 8:30 to go over security protocols with the manager at Hancock while Emmett took on the bodyguards. I would pick up Bella from work right after.

I looked at the clock once I was done with my calls to find I needed to leave in ten minutes in order to meet up with the manager. I thought about my morning and began to laugh. I bent over at the waist trying to catch my breath as I realized exactly how overprotective Emmett and I really were….not that it was going to stop me, but I could see where Bella could get annoyed. We were acting like we were planning security for the Queen of England while we were gone instead of Bella and Alice.

I walked around the apartment cleaning up a bit. I locked the door behind me when it was time to go meet with the manager at Hancock and then pick up my Bella. I couldn't wait to have her back here in my bed again. I took a deep breath as I willed myself to try to forget the memories of my dreams from the night before. I certainly didn't need any more visuals than actually having Bella in the room to mess with my control. I suddenly wasn't sure which was going to be the worse torture, the two weeks when I would have to be away from Bella, or the next three and a half days when I would be with Bella but still had to keep myself away from her in a way. I took a deep breath and sighed before making my way down the street, first my morning meeting and then I could pick up my girl.

**A NEW POV**

I watched over the top of my paper as the tall reddish haired cop smiled all dazed and disgustingly sweet at the bitchy chick doctor behind the desk of the ER nurse's station.

I tugged the hoodie higher on my head and shifted my eyes back down to the article on page three of the Tribune about the bust at the warehouse and I felt the anger bubble up from my toes. Fucking goody two shoes law enforcement always fucking up everyone else's shit. They put a major dent in our operation, but luckily for us there was a new guy in town and he was a fuck of a lot smarter than Troy ever thought about being.

Troy was pissed when Mr. B sent the new guy to take charge of the operation and get the new stuff distributed around town, but I didn't mind…Troy was about as smart as a box of rocks. Sure he was an extremely lucky box of rocks, but still…things were definitely going to get better with this new guy in charge.

The skirt got up and stretched smiling over at the cop and he followed her like a lost little puppy to the elevators. Her brother and this guy who was supposedly her new man wouldn't leave the fucking bitch alone for five seconds making my job a hell of a lot harder.

I sat a few more minutes before standing up when a large group walked through the lobby and followed them out into the street. I sat on a bench outside with a view of the door getting up to follow the cop when he left an hour later with that fucking ridiculous grin on his face. The guy looked like a player to me, but he seemed completely sucked in by the chick doc. Yeah she had a decent form and an okay face, but the look he had on his face you'd think he was a twelve year old seeing his first set of tits or something.

I got up and followed him to his apartment and then again a few hours later as he made his way across town to the Hancock building where he walked directly into the lobby and asked to be directed to security. He disappeared into the office and came back out an hour later smiling and shaking hands with a stressed out looking gray haired dude before walking out the front door with a smile on his face. Once he was gone I walked in and over to the office knocking on the door before peeking my head in.

"Hey Tony," I said with a sneer to the gray haired dude who closed his eyes and took a deep breath before sighing and letting his shoulders drop.

"What do you want Wingnut?" He groaned.

"What did the black and white want?"

"VIP floor is having a security issue and he wanted to double check with me in regard to building security."

I smiled realizing I had my in. The bitch was definitely going to make a great impression on the cops and the new guy.

"I want full access. We have business with your new guest."

He scoffed and shook his head. "Won't do you much good. They are going to be on guard 24/7 by the security company on the Brandon's retainer. You won't be able to get within twenty feet of those girls."

"Girls? As in more than one?"

Tony cleared his throat. "Alice Brandon and the guest, Bella Swan."

I smiled. "Thanks Tony. I'll be in touch."

He sighed and waved me off as I left the building with a wide smile. I was going to impress the new guy and soon. The bar backfired. I was supposed to be showing him how invaluable I was and making my pay for the week while I was at it, but instead that little doctor bitch had to go all Lara Croft on my ass and fuck it all up. Then new boss man was pissed I wasn't at the warehouse when the bust came down, but fuck, I was glad the assholes put me in the ER or else I would have probably gone down with Troy. Then the dude was all pissed when the doc bitch overheard us talking. Thankfully she only caught the end of the conversation or else I'd be even further in the shitter than I already am. Now I have to redeem myself or I'll either find myself given up as a patsy or be fitted with a pair of concrete boots and dumped in the lake.

Alice Brandon must have a link to the cops too if she is also under guard…my chances of making an impression on those cops who they should and shouldn't mess with and saving my ass just doubled.

I felt a spring in my step is I made my way back toward my apartment. I had a few calls to make and then a few plans to draw up, but one way or another, I was going to be saving my ass and hopefully finally moving up the fucking ladder in the organization one way or another.

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Author's Note: Well everyone, there you have it. Just to clear things up just in case you missed it. The new POV is James "Wingnut" Trager…aka Mr. Clean, or the bald dude from the bar, or Troy Deluca's cousin. Either way, the boys are right to worry. I also think it's pretty clear now who the "new boss" is. Puzzle pieces are falling into place :D I also know the beginning was fluffy with all the kissy kissy face with Edward and Bella but that's a new relationship for you.

_**I have to say I was totally shocked with the reviews of the last chapter. The chapter before had 58 reviews and then BAM the last chapter got 90…90 reviews on one chapter…amazing is an understatement. Thank you all So So much!!! I love hearing from you so please keep reviewing! Reviews make me happy!!!! You'll also be glad to know that the next chapter is already done and with my beta…don't worry though, I refuse to hold chapters ransom for reviews. I HATE when people do that! Hope to hear from you all soon!!!! **_

**_OOps...almost forgot. Thanks to my beta Sihaya 9 for fixing my errors as always!!!_**


	17. New Heat and Old Flames

_**IMPORTANT NOTE IN REGARD TO THE REMAINDER OF THIS STORY!!!! *PLEASE READ!!!!* In order to read the remainder of this story, you must use the link on my profile page to check out one of the two alternate locations. This is the last chapter that does not violate FFN's TOS. This was done less from fear and more from a desire to be a good example for 'following the rules' even if they stuck. Thanks for reading and for the reviews!!!**_

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**Disclaimer: The twilight characters aren't mine, but I've enjoyed using them to fashion my little OOC/AH characters here!**

**Author's Note: Another fluffy chapter before the boys leave and even my beta pointed out it's a bit slower, but there's some important info here that needed addressed. I promise things are going to heat up and get away from the fluffy again starting toward the end of the next chapter and pretty much staying that way through the two following chapters. So you'll get a bit of a break from the fluff soon. I have an a/n that explains a thing or two at the bottom as well as a bit of a challenge so please take time to read it when you're done with the chapter!**

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16. **New Heat and Old Flames**

**BPOV**

The rest of the week before the guys left continued on as it had in the beginning. Every morning Edward would bring me breakfast at the crack of dawn and then come back when my rounds were over to walk me back to his place. He really was being so overprotective and I hate to admit it, but this was more than a little sexy.

Once we got back to his place he gave me privacy to shower dragging me into the dining room for a light lunch before crawling into his sinfully comfortable bed. He always pulled me to his chest to sleep the day away. Sometimes we would make out a bit before I fell asleep, but most of the time we saved the making out for when I woke up and oh my, did we ever make out!

I was rather surprised though because we kept everything over the clothes. After the first day he began to sleep shirtless, which made me very happy. I swear I could look at him shirtless all day long and never grow tired of it. The man was like heaven personified. But he never let any more of his clothes or any of mine come off and didn't try to take mine off either.

The boys were leaving Saturday morning, so Alice and I did some bartering and trading in order to get Friday night off so we could spend the last day and night with the boys and work our weekend off instead. Once they are gone we will be trapped in Alice's apartment under armed guard.

When Edward and Jasper picked us up they were caught off guard by our excitement. Normally we were barely more than the walking dead when we got off of the floor the morning after a graveyard shift, but we were too excited by our surprise. We had only found out two hours before that our bartering had worked. We were both stuck working a double beginning Saturday at ten, but it was going to totally be worth it.

"What are you two all chipper about?" Jasper asked as we giggled and sauntered up to them both melting into their arms.

"We have a surprise for you two," Alice trilled slightly muffled within Jasper's jacket.

I looked up at Edward with a wink and he cocked a suspicious eyebrow at us.

"Guess what two hot and sexy doctors managed to negotiate this morning?"

They looked a bit worried as they waited for us to continue.

"We traded tonight's shift so that we can spend all of our time with you until you guys have to leave tomorrow morning."

Edward's eyes sparkled and a wide grin took over his face. He stretched down and kissed me then pulled me into a warm hug.

"How did you pull that off?" He asked as he continued to hold me to his chest and kiss the top of my head.

"You guys are gone anyway, so we agreed to a double on Saturday night and Sunday."

I felt Edward tense under my embrace as I heard Jasper yelp next to me. "You did what? You guys are already nearly dead when we pick you up after a regular graveyard shift. Why would you ever volunteer to do a double?"

I shrugged. "It's going to be par for the course in a few months. We've been lucky so far that we've only had to do it a few times during emergencies up till now. Dr. K is really a believer in easing interns into the full stress of the field, but she feels we're ready to take on the responsibility. It isn't unusual at all for hospital doctors to pull eighty or more hours a week. We definitely didn't choose a fluffy laid back profession."

I didn't even have to look at Edward to know he had a deep scowl on his face. "Once you finish your residency it won't be so bad though will it? You can't keep this up forever."

"A lot of doctors do. It just depends on what I choose. If I go private practice then it won't be so bad unless I go obstetrics or something that requires 24 hour on call. But if I go trauma, surgery, or something along those lines which means full time in a hospital then it will probably be the standard."

I felt Edward sigh and pull away from me as he began to guide me to the doors. I looked up to see Jasper and Alice were long gone. "Well let's not worry about all of that right now love. We'll deal with that when the time comes. Right now let's get you home and let you get a few hours of shut eye and then maybe we can do something this afternoon."

I smiled and melted into his side as he led me down the street toward his apartment building.

We walked in to meet a smiling George at the front counter. "Morning George, how are things going?"

"Mighty fine Miss Bella. It's a beautiful day."

I looked out through the plate glass windows of the lobby having been so lost in being close to Edward that I hadn't even noticed the crystal clear fall day full of bright sunshine.

"So it is. Too bad we're going to end up sleeping through a lot of it."

George smiled, "That's okay Miss Bella. There will be more sunny days once you get past your internship."

Edward smiled and waved as we stepped into the elevator and rode up in companionable silence to his floor. The hall was thankfully empty as we made our way toward his apartment.

When we rounded the corner there was a package sitting in front of Edward's door. He leaned down to pick it up and groaned at the flowery cursive writing and little hearts written in a glittery metallic pink gel pen. "Lauren."

I chuckled and pulled the package from his hands, ripping the white paper and opening the box to reveal a skimpy bra and thong set. I growled and grabbed the little piece of paper folded to the side and read the note.

_Edward, Done with the mousy brunette yet? I'm sure you'd prefer these on me to the cotton granny panties she probably wears. I'd be more than happy to give you a private viewing anytime, anywhere. –Lauren_

"That's it! The bitch is going down!" I screamed dropping my jacket and purse to the floor by Edward's door and stomping down the hallway toward penthouse 1.

I barely made it to the corner when I felt two strong arms grab around my waist and pull me off the floor holding me with my still flailing legs in mid air.

"Put me down Edward! I am going to go teach this bitch a lesson in propriety and manners!"

I felt him chuckle as he held me tightly to his chest as his mouth came up by my ear. "Damn you're sexy when you're pissed off." The feel of his breath on my ear sent shivers down my spine and I stopped flailing relaxing a bit into his embrace.

"Don't worry about Lauren. We'll take care of her later. Right now I'd much rather pull you into my nice big warm bed with me, pull your beautiful body close and fall asleep with the smell of your hair all around me. Then we can spend the rest of my last day in Chicago with you instead of dealing with the bitch."

I groaned a little and sighed. He sat me back down on my feet taking the box of disgusting lingerie from my hand and throwing it down the hallway toward Lauren's door. He spun me around, placing a hot probing kiss on my lips as he walked backwards, pulling me back toward the doorway to his apartment as my hands wound instinctively into his hair. I had been waiting for the day when he would turn around and I would find permanent indentions where my hands always seemed to like to entrench themselves when we kissed.

When we reached the door he fumbled with the lock, continuing to claim my mouth with his, only breaking our kiss long enough to kneel down and pick up my belongings. He grabbed my waist and pulling me into his apartment to resume the kiss. We stood in the entryway for a good five minutes before we finally pulled away from necessity.

"Okay, you go shower and get ready to lay down while I fix lunch. Frozen Pizza sound good?"

I smiled, "Do you have the one with the white sauce?"

He nodded with a sexy smile. "I bought extra since you seem to love it so much."

I jumped up and latched onto his neck, pressing a loud peck on his lips. "Thank you, baby! You always take such good care of me!"

He chuckled and turned me toward his bedroom giving my ass a light smack. I yelped and I put my hand behind me in surprise. He laughed a deep belly laugh as he watched me scurry away, protecting my ass with my hands.

I hurried through my shower and threw on a pair of his boxers and one of his old Metallica concert t-shirts which I tied up on the side so it didn't totally swallow me and padded barefoot to the kitchen to find Edward.

He was sitting up on the counter in his blue plaid flannel pajama bottoms and no shirt reading the Tribune when I entered the room. He looked up with a smile before freezing mid page turn and started at me with wide eyes. His gaze roamed my body up and down once before it darkened from surprise to something else that I was beginning to recognize. I smiled, feeling a flutter in my stomach.

"Hope you don't mind. I ran out of pajamas here. I really need to stop by my apartment sometime today, do some laundry, and pack up for Alice's."

He swallowed hard and shook his head quickly. "I don't mind at all. You look a hell of a lot better in my clothes than I do, that's for damn sure."

I smiled and tipped up on my toes to kiss his cheek. "Good, because your clothes are a hell of a lot more comfortable than my clothes and I like wearing them. They smell like you."

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to his side, placing a deeper kiss on my mouth before moaning against my lips. "Mmmm, that's why I love sleeping in my bed so much more, now that my sheets smell like you."

I giggled and reached in front of him to grab a slice of pizza. I hopped up on the stool next to him at the island counter and grabbed a section of the paper from the pile, taking a big bite of my slice.

"Hey! I was going to read that next," he whined from next to me.

I stuck out my tongue, "Too bad! Ya snooze ya loose! Besides you have the whole paper in front of you…I'm sure you can find something else to read until I'm finished with this one tiny section."

"Nice tongue with pizza goop all over it. That's really mature not to mention sexy Bells." He laughed, as he rolled the paper in his hand and tapped it on top of my head.

"Hey, this is tame. I grew up with Emmett remember?"

We both laughed as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We read the paper together and ate the pizza. About five minutes in we traded sections and he smiled over at me, tightening his arm around my shoulder and I leaned against him.

"I could get used to this you know."

I smiled up at him and kissed his lips. "Me too."

We finished and straightened up a bit before shuffling our way into his bedroom where we tucked ourselves into the sheets of the cloud he called a bed. We passed out face to face with our arms and legs tangled together familiarly.

I woke up to Edward's left hand massaging my side while his right ghosted along my cheek tucking a stray hair behind my ear. I opened my eyes to see his green ones, darkened with a desire I was beginning to recognize and welcome.

He closed the small space that separated our lips and pressed a gentle kiss, pulling my bottom lip lightly between his and sucking gently, eliciting a hum of appreciation from my chest. I reciprocated by sucking his top lip lightly and earning a moan from him.

His hand at my side moved to the small of my back, pulling me closer as he opened his mouth and deepened our kiss. I opened to allow him entrance as I felt my body arch closer to him and my hands burrowed deeply in his thick bronze hair, tugging lightly.

The heat between us was growing steadily as I felt his fingers grazed the sliver of exposed flesh on my back. The warm tingle he often created in my body began to spread all over as my insides began to hum and vibrate at his touch. I wanted more.

I began trailing my kisses from his mouth across his chin and down his neck to his collarbone where I focused my kisses nipping and licking as I let my hands wonder over his amazing torso. I loved every line and ridge and couldn't get enough of him under my fingertips. He moaned appreciatively while his muscles twitched and rippled with spasms under my nails while I tenderly drug them up and down. His hands continued to roam over my back and sides, finally cupping my ass and squeezing gently to pull me closer.

After a while his hands roamed up my frame to grab my shoulders and pulled me back as he began trailing kisses up and down the column of my neck. His hands got braver, ghosting over my sides and brushing the outsides of my breasts, earning a moan of appreciation. His fingers moved further and further toward sternum finally grazing my nipples, already erect from the heat building between us, making them tighten more and we both moaned when he returned to claim my mouth. He continued to tease the tightened nubs through my bra and his shirt.

This wasn't the first time we had gotten to this point, but he still hadn't even attempted to get under the clothes. I felt desperation rising in my body as the need for my bare chest pressed against his skin.

I reached my hands down to the hem of the t-shirt and began to pull it up slowly. I had it about halfway up my stomach when I heard him gasp and moan, and then he grabbed my hands to stop their ascent.

I leaned away, looking at his face in confusion feeling a bit rejected. He looked at my face, his brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed. He rubbed his thumbs over my hands as he looked into my eyes and spoke through a tense jaw with a pained voice.

"Don't get me wrong; I really, really want that shirt to come off, but not yet. If that shirt comes off I might not be able to keep more stuff from coming off and I'm not fucking us up like that. You're not ready."

I looked into his eyes and saw the conflict his desire for things to be different in our relationship waging war with his lust and libido.

I nibbled on my lip nervously and whispered, "But what if I am ready Edward? I know I love you, you say you love me, why can't we make love?"

He closed his eyes and moaned as though I were torturing him. "Not yet love, if I get a taste of being with you now I won't be able to stop. I'll just need more and more of you. These next two weeks are already going to be total hell, but if we add this to the mix one of us is going to lose it."

I snorted in a very nonsexy and unladylike fashion and he smiled at me, his green eyes twinkling slightly again. I took in a deep breath and sighed. "But when you get back we'll re-visit the subject?"

His eyes glazed over again with that dark lusty brooding expression I had grown to love. He growled under his breath and flipped me over so I was lying under him as he hovered above me on his forearms. "Absolutely."

He rested some of his weight on me and kissed me deeply as the lower half of his body rested heavily on mine and I felt the large bulge in his pajama pants against my leg and I squeaked in reaction. I had felt it briefly after our first date, but we had been intentionally trying to keep from doing to much hip on hip action in an attempt to take things slowly So I was more than a little freaked out by just how large the bulge was. I was not an innocent, but I could already pretty much guarantee he was going to be much larger than any male anatomy I had ever encountered before and that instantly made me more than just a little nervous and relieved that I had a couple of weeks to mentally prepare for that encounter.

We kissed a bit longer before he finally sighed and placed pecks on my forehead, eyes, and cheeks then rolled off of me and out of bed. I found myself gulping at the sight of the scene I took in shirtless, still aroused Edward crossing the bedroom. The butterflies returned to my stomach and I instantly began to worry once more that when it really came down to the wire and we did finally cross the sexual barriers that I was going to fall way short of his expectations. Not only was he an experienced male, but he was, well at least I hoped, a reformed lothario. My insecurities flooded me immediately leaving me feeling nauseas and blushing brightly. Thankfully he disappeared into the bathroom without looking back to see.

As soon as he was out of sight I fell back onto the bed and began to panic. He loved me now, but what if I couldn't keep up sexually? He was most definitely a sexual creature, so if I couldn't keep up I really wasn't sure how long we could last. I never really got complaints, but at the same time I was never really wowed by sex either. What if I never got complaints because I was with people who sucked at it too and didn't know the difference? I was on the verge of a full on panic attack when Edward stepped back into the room without my even realizing it.

I felt the bed buckle next to me and Edward wrapped his arms around me as his worried voice whispered in my ear. "What's wrong Bella? Are you okay?"

I turned my wide eyes toward him as I felt the heat flood my face even more and then clamped my eyes closed tight in embarrassment.

"Bella?" Edward's slightly panicked voice said a bit more loudly. "What's the matter?"

I shook my head and tried to get up and go to the shower but he held me tightly in his arms on the bed. "Oh no you don't Isabella Marie…you tell me what's wrong."

"I…I can't. It's too embarrassing." I moaned burying my face in my pillow.

"Hey, we need to be able to talk about stuff that's bothering us Bella. I know I don't know anything at all about relationships, but I know that much. Now tell me what's wrong. Are you upset about me stopping you earlier?"

I shook my head no as I timidly looked up at his face. He looked so concerned and I felt horrible. I groaned and scooted back against the headboard throwing my head back, bouncing it against the hard dark wood a couple of times while he settled in next to me.

"This is going to sound so stupid and juvenile and probably just exacerbate my worries."

He shook his head a little and lifted his eyebrow encouraging me to continue. I drew my knees up to my chest and rested my elbows on them covering my face with my hands and shaking my head back and forth before lowering my head down past my palms so that they held my head up by my hairline and I stared down at his t-shirt. I began my verbal diarrhea.

"I'm scared…terrified actually. I know I'm not a virgin by any stretch of the imagination, but I just…I don't know if I'm going to be enough for you."

I felt his body shift next to me as his hands clasped around my wrists bringing them down from my head before he released one and used that hand to lift my face to look in his.

"Bella, I know you probably don't understand this, but I've never felt for anybody in my entire life the way I feel about you. There's no way you could ever not be enough for me…you're the only one who could ever be enough for me."

I shook my head. "That might be, but if I can't meet your sexual needs then it could never work. You're used to very experienced and probably very talented women. I never got any complaints, but I would never say I had amazing sex. It was always just sort of okay. What if I suck is why it was just okay?"

He laughed and shook his head as he grasped my face between his hands. "Baby, trust me. First of all, just because women are experienced doesn't necessarily mean anything, and secondly, I can tell you right now just by the way you kiss and move your body when you dance and how you are naturally sexy without even trying, you're not going to be bad…by a long shot. Please don't be afraid. If anything I'm the one who should be, and if I'm honest, I actually am afraid."

My eyes shot up bugged out, "Why? Why would you be afraid?"

He smiled and leaned in closer to kiss my lips gently. "Bella, in so many ways I feel like everything I do with you is my first time because I've never done any of this with someone I love. You might not believe this because you're not the type to do it, but kissing someone you just met that you have no connection with and kissing someone you care about and love feel like two entirely different acts. Running my hands up and down your body, feeling your mouth on my body and your hands on my chest, everything we do is so different and new because the feelings I have for you and that you have for me make it different."

"I worry sometimes that maybe I won't know how to treat you right when we really do this. I've never 'made love' with anyone before. It was always simply fucking. Bodies and sweat and orgasms and out the door…there were no loving looks, no sweet kisses, no looking in the other person's eyes because you want to see their feelings for you reflected in them. So really we're in the same boat…no actually you're ahead of the game."

He ran his hands through my hair and I stared at him in awe. I had never thought of it that way. I swallowed hard watching the water droplets from his forgotten freshly showered hair drip onto his shoulders and chest and roll slowly down clouding my thinking for a moment as I whispered. "Not really."

He frowned. "Not really how?"

"If I'm totally honest I've never made love either. Sex with Damon was always never sweet and romantic like you're talking about, it was usually just fast and furious and then it was over. I think I usually kept my eyes closed for most of it. I didn't love Damon. I cared about him and he was one of the few guys to ever show me attention so I kind of figured I'd never find better and I settled for what I had with him. My heart never belonged to him…it already belonged to someone else."

I looked up at his eyes and they looked pained as he locked gazes with mine. I saw the telltale beginnings of moisture pooling in them as he blinked a couple of times before closing them. "Oh Bella."

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me so I was sitting on his lap. He wrapped me up in his arms, cradling me to his chest. "Christ. How could you have ever thought you'd never find love?"

"You didn't believe in love, you admitted that openly on several occasions and the guys all agreed. I fought against the idea for a long time, clinging to my classics, especially my Austen, but the longer I went being single or being cheated on by the guys that I did actually date; I finally decided you guys were right and I gave up. I found someone I liked, a friend who I could be more with, and I settled for the best I thought I could get."

I felt him blow out a couple of hard breaths as he kissed my head and mumbled into my hair. "We should all be taken out in the woods and shot! We didn't even think half the time about what we said in front of you. We were stupid kids trying to take care of a kid. I'm so sorry Bella."

I cuddled myself closer to his chest and buried my nose in his neck as I kissed him softly there before pulling back and holding his face in my hands looking deeply in his eyes. "No, don't be sorry. God knows what would have happened to me if you guys didn't step up like you did. I would have ended up in the foster system with lord only knows what crazy creepy people. You guys all gave up so much to look out for me and I am so grateful. Okay, so you guys were maybe not the best examples when it came to certain things, but I shudder to think what my life would have been like if you guys didn't all help take care of me. I owe you guys everything."

He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment before slowly opening them. "I love you so much Bella. I'm so thankful to have you in my life."

I smiled and rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs. "Ditto. Now can I go get my shower while you pack for your trip?"

He nodded and kissed my head before releasing me to the bathroom. I rushed through my shower and stepped out to realize I had forgotten my clothes. I wrapped one of his huge fluffy Egyptian cotton towels around my body and walked into the bedroom where he was turned with his back to me, filling his suitcase. He turned around to grab something out of the drawer and stopped mid step to stare at me with wide eyes.

I blushed and looked at my feet. "Sorry, I forgot my clothes in all the drama."

He swallowed and mumbled, "S'okay," before appearing to force himself to turn back around where he stood ramrod straight.

I rushed across the room to grab my clothes out of my drawer, the one he gave me earlier in the week since I was staying with him. Suddenly I felt two strong arms around my waist and his lips caressing my shoulders.

He groaned and mumbled, "You are going to be the death of me woman," into the flesh of my shoulder before taking a deep breath and releasing me. I stood there a moment attempting to catch my breath before finally grabbing my clothes from the top of the dresser and hurrying back into the bathroom to dress.

By the time I regained control of my hormones and dressed, I stepped out of the bathroom to find Edward sitting on the edge of the bed staring out at the lake beyond. I climbed up on the bed behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck and resting my chin on his right shoulder after placing a quick kiss on his cheek. He reached his hands up and cupped them over mine and sighed.

"You know I don't take the time to enjoy this view as much as I should."

"It's a beautiful view," I whispered as I looked at the sun sparkling on the top of the lake water in the distance.

"I'm going to miss you while I'm gone. I've never had someone to actually miss before. It's a bit of a double edge sword," he said softly as he rubbed his hands back and forth across my forearms.

I sighed and kissed his shoulder. "Yeah, but you've also never had someone to look forward to getting back to…someone missing you as much as you miss them to be reunited with."

He took a deep breath and shifted as I turned toward him and we kissed gently and I tightened my grip around his torso.

"Well, are you finished with this packing or do you have some more left?"

He turned and looked at the suitcase. "I think I have everything. Only thing missing is you, and I can't take you." He winked at me and I giggled.

I released him and crawled off the bed and over to where I had set my clothes when I came out of the bathroom shaking out his Metallica t-shirt that I had slept in the night before. I carried it to him and offered it to him as he looked up confused.

"Does it smell like me now that I slept in it?"

He pulled it up to his face and buried his nose in it taking a deep breath and hummed with a smile. I nodded and took it back from him to pack it with his things and looked up in time to see him smile and jump up to grab my pillow off the bed and yank off the pillowcase. I shot him a worried look and he laughed.

"To put on my pillow while I'm gone. Wanna take mine?"

I blushed and then ran to grab his pillow and tugged off the pillowcase, tucking it into the bag I was taking to Alice's Saturday morning. We worked together after that to pull off the sheets and put them in the laundry basket in the spare bathroom for Edward's maid, Melissa, to take care of next week and pulled out a new set to put on his bed for us to sleep on when he got home.

Once again it all felt so natural and work side by side with Edward like that. I had only been staying with him for five days and yet I had really gotten used to being with him and doing such regular things. I knew I was really going to miss it while he was gone.

After we finished with the bedding we piled our bags by his bedroom door, got my purse and things ready to head over to my apartment to pick up more clothes for my time with Alice. As we left the building we waved to Jason who had taken over doorman duties at some point while we slept before making our way down the street with our arms wrapped around each other's waists. I noticed a sweet old couple sitting on a bench waiting for the bus. They looked over at us and smiled with a look of nostalgia on their faces and I wondered if Edward and I would possibly make it there some day, two elderly sweethearts having shared a lifetime together.

We entered my building and made our way up to my apartment. The sight before me saddened me as I pushed through my door to see piles of boxes all over the living room. I had almost forgotten in all the chaos of the Trager situation that Emmett was packing up to move out. I had loved my time with Edward, but I instantly felt robbed of my last week with my big brother.

I sighed deeply and felt Edward behind me rub my shoulders tenderly. "Sorry love. I know you lost your last week with Emmett because of this mess."

I turned and smiled sadly before heading down the hallway to my room. He crossed the room and sat on my bed as I flitted around grabbing things I wanted to have for the next two weeks. He grabbed my iPod, the one that he had bought me a few years ago for my birthday, off the bedside table and fiddled with it as I continued to pile my clothes on the bed and grabbed my big suitcase out of the hallway closet and began to fill it with my belongings.

I was almost done when Edward looked up at me quizzically. "Bella? Is this EAM playlist what I think it is?"

I froze with my back to him and dropped the can of hairspray I was holding as I felt the blush creeping up my face yet again that day. I turned to the suitcase not looking up at him and nodded.

"How long ago did you put this on here?" He asked in little more than a whisper.

"How long have I had the iPod?" I knew he knew the answer; he had bought the 60 gig version for me for my twentieth birthday three years ago. "Of course I added more songs recently."

I heard his breathing pick up as he scanned the songs. I continued to move back and forth from my suitcase to the closet and dresser filling it with far more clothes than I was actually going to need in an effort to keep myself busy. When I turned back to the suitcase with two hands full of socks I ran into a hard wall of muscle.

I slowly looked up to his face, a little afraid of what I was going to find there. I finally reached his eyes and I gasped at the darkness hidden within his beautiful emerald green irises. He grabbed the socks out of my hands and tossed them into the open suitcase before grabbing my waist and picking me up to kiss me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him instantly. He held me tight as he kissed me passionately, stalking forward until my back was pressed against the wall. He claimed my mouth with all his might and I buried my fingers deep in his hair, scratching my nails against his scalp, we both moaned.

Our hands roamed one another and we continued to stay lost in our kisses, breaking apart occasionally to pant together until the sound of a door closing pulled us out of our lust filled haze. Edward settled me carefully on the floor, continuing to hold me when my legs failed to support my full weight. Seconds later my door flung open and a disturbed looking Emmett looked back and forth between us.

"You two are killing me you know that?! I really can't be hearing that stuff!"

I blushed and Edward chuckled. Emmett stepped into my room and started a discussion with Edward about the security plans while they are away. The agency providing bodyguard services had three teams that would be rotating out on an eight-hour basis day and night for the entire two weeks with two teams taking twelve-hour shifts over the weekend days.

They still didn't like leaving me, but at least they were somewhat satisfied with what they did manage to arrange. I still couldn't help but laugh at the extremes they were taking and often wondered if the paparazzi might start taking pictures of us by mistake simply due to our security detail.

Once we were done at the apartment, they both took me to the Hancock building to drop my things off at Alice's apartment and have one last meeting with the building security manager. Alice and I were to be introduced to the manager of the guard agency and the teams who would take over first thing Saturday morning, as soon as the guys leave.

I was shocked at the opulent surroundings on our way to the Brandon's apartment. If I thought Edward's place was impressive then this place was a freaking royal palace. Alice invited us in right away and I smiled at the sight of my buddy Jasper who was sprawled out across the expensive furniture in the fancy flat as though he owned the place.

The boys joined Jasper in discussion and Alice led me down a long hallway to the room I would be staying in for the next two-weeks of lockdown. She helped me put away my things tsking at my underwear collection with promises of sneaking away to La Perla one day while we were stuck together to upgrade my taste in lingerie. I sighed and giggled at the idea of two hulking bodyguards following us around the expensive store.

We made our way back into the main living space to find that our boys had been joined by a group of ten rather large men, all dressed in dark suits and sunglasses. I couldn't help but chuckle at how cliché they looked, as though every movie regarding the secret service I had ever seen had suddenly jumped out of the TV screen to meet us in Alice's living room.

The manager of the agency offered for us to sit and began introductions around the room of the different guards who would be following us twenty-four seven. They would thankfully not be in full dress while on duty. Instead, they would be in casual clothes to blend; they would spend their time in the hospital in the main waiting area for the duration of their time, watching out for us from where we would meet them at the end of our shifts. I really felt it was overkill, but it was to ease my brother and my boyfriend's mind so I wasn't going to balk much.

The guards were introduced by their last names as they went around the room, each stepping forward to shake our hands professionally. We were nearly to the end where we were meeting the weekend guards when I realized that one extremely tall tan man with long black hair seemed extremely familiar. When the manager said his name and I gasped.

"Jake?"

He straightened his back and looked nervously over at Edward, Emmett, and Jasper before looking back at me with a timid smile. "Bella."

"You're a bodyguard now?"

He nodded, stealing a glance at the boys who appeared to be seething in his direction.

"I'm actually glad to run into you, even if it's such bad circumstances. I own you one massive apology Bella. I was a prick in high school. You were an amazing girl and I was a stupid jerk. I deserved everything they did to me and more. I always swore if I ever saw you again that I would tell you that."

I smiled and nibbled on my bottom lip. "Thank you Jake. I actually do appreciate that."

Edward stepped forward and placed his hand on my shoulder possessively and I chuckled. I put my hand over his comfortingly, thinking that he might as well be pissing on my leg, but it was cute in an annoying, caveman sort of way. I looked up with a knowing smile as I whispered, "It's okay Edward."

He glowered at Jake but then nodded. The manager asked if we had a past to which Jake admitted openly and then looked to me asking if this was a problem that needed resolved. I told him that I didn't think that was necessary. I could tell the boys didn't like it, but Jake visibly relaxed, smiling, and I smiled back.

It was six years ago for goodness sake and he even apologized. It was time to let the past go. The second the security left though it seemed the boys didn't agree. Edward was wound tighter than a spring.

"After what he did to you…how can you say it is okay for him to be on this detail?" His voice was raised but I knew he wasn't really yelling at me, just venting his frustrations.

"Edward, it was six years ago. I've been over it for a long time and he even apologized for it. Everyone deserves a second chance."

His eyes were blazing. "That guy was a sex fiend back then and I'm guessing he probably is now. There's no way I'm leaving you here with him. Guys like that don't change!"

I stood up in front of him, my eyes no blazing hotter than his were even capable of. "Well Edward Anthony Masen, I really fucking hope that you are wrong or else we're screwed before we even started wouldn't you say?!"

He blanched and blinked at me. "I…I didn't mean that…" He ran his hands through his hair. "Christ Bella! You know I've changed. I could never do that to you…but I've also never tried to force myself on a girl either."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, only because you never dated anyone who was in the least bit conservative. If it wasn't a sure deal, you didn't bother. You never had to deal with a girl not putting out. I have a feeling if you had to beg for it you would have pushed a bit harder too. He never hurt me physically and he never pushed too hard, he just made his moves and when I denied him he dumped me…that's a long way from being a sexual predator Edward. He was a horny teenager with a frigid girlfriend. He's grown up since then and I intend to give him a chance."

He snorted and closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. I stepped forward; reaching up to pull his hand away and stroked his cheek.

"Is this because you're worried about the fact that Jake and I dated in the past?" He looked at me blankly. "Don't you trust me?" He sighed looking defeated.

"I love YOU. That's been true for a long, long time. You have no reason to worry about that with me. Okay? I know you're not used to having these kinds of feelings or trusting others, but you have to trust me with situations like this or we really won't be able to make it."

He sighed and relaxed his shoulders, wrapping his arms around my waist and tipping down to kiss my lips. I jumped after a few seconds when I heard a throat clear behind us. I had completely forgotten about our audience. The guard guys had left, but Emmett, Jasper, and Alice had been there to witness the whole conversation.

"If you two are done reenacting a scene from The Young and The Restless do you think we could get back to the issues at hand?"

We continued to look at each other with a chuckle, my favorite crooked grin gracing Edward's face. He gave me one more quick kiss before we turned and made our way back to the couch where we settled in and listened to Emmett as he paced back and forth in front of us like a general rallying his troops.

Finally we were finished with the third degree and Alice jumped up and down as the boys agreed to take us out for one last night out on the town before two weeks of 24/7 lockdown. Alice pulled me, kicking and screaming toward her bedroom for a session of Bella Barbie while Edward, Jasper, and Emmett laughed at me.

Once in her bedroom, Alice set about with the never-ending procession of hair and beauty products as she manipulated my features into something more classically attractive.

"Alice, I don't need all of this! Can't I just be myself? Edward likes me as myself!"

Alice groaned and rolled he eyes. "Yes Bella, Edward loves you as yourself, but don't you want to leave him with an impression that he can't get out of his mind for the next two weeks in case he's around any temptations? Wouldn't you rather he remember you in a sexy dress and heels, grinding on him in the middle of the dance floor at Dooley's than in jeans and a t-shirt? Besides, you know his harem will be all over the place there. It's good to have your own self-esteem ammo in case they try to swoop in for the kill. You walk in looking hotter than hell and they'll be less likely to attack."

I frowned at Alice as she painfully tugged on unruly hairs around my eyebrows. "Isn't it usually the opposite there Ali?"

She scoffed. "Oh naïve Bella. Stick with me young padawan, you have much to learn."

My eyes widened, "Holy crap Alice! You just accurately used a Star Wars reference in a real life situation. I'm so proud of you!"

She just laughed and continued to tug at the hairs around my eyebrows, grumbling about my total lack of facial maintenance. After what seemed like forever of poking, prodding, gooping, and gloping, Alice finally leaned back with a sigh. "Perfection! You know Bella; if you'd just put in a bit of effort it would take a lot less time and energy to get you ready to go when we have our nights out. Now go into my closet and grab the garment bag to the right of the door. I picked something up for you last weekend that's perfect!"

I grumbled, walking over to the closet where I grabbed a long white garment bag and unzipped it to reveal a royal blue halter style dress with a very low neckline. I spun on Alice.

"I can't wear this to Dooley's Alice! It's way too dressy and not only that but Emmett will blow a spark plug!"

Alice chuckled. "It won't look as bad on, and besides; Emmett is going to be far too distracted with Rosalie tonight to even notice. Matter of fact, if our timing is still on track, he'll begin being distracted in 3…2…1."

The sound of the doorbell resounded throughout the apartment and I looked at Alice in awe. "How the hell do you do that?!"

Alice just smiled and shrugged as she pushed me into the bathroom with the garment bag in hand, leaving me alone to dress. I slid on the underwear and hose from the counter top and then pulled the satin gown over my head, marveling at how it was actually felt really soft against my skin.

Alice was right; it didn't look nearly as over the top on my body as it had appeared on the hanger. I adjusted my cleavage slightly before throwing on the necklace, which was also waiting for me and slid my feet into the matching three-inch heels. I took a spin in front of the full-length mirror and found myself a bit in awe at the final product.

I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach as I stepped out of the bathroom to come face to face with a beaming Alice and Rosalie.

"Oh Bella! You look beautiful! Edward's going to pass out when he sees you!"

I laughed uncomfortably, feeling less than adequate standing next to the two beauty queens already in the room. Alice was wearing a shimmery slip dress that clung to every curve of her tiny body and Rose wore a low cut, very short red satin dress that appeared to have been painted onto her body, leaving nothing to the imagination. I loved my friends, but I found myself immediately envious and embarrassed to be coming out of this room next to them.

My insecurities began to grow inside me as I nervously fidgeted in front of the mirror before the girls drug me out into the hallway to go grab our dates and get out for our last night of quasi freedom.

**_PLEASE DO NOT NEGLECT TO READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES ON THIS PAGE. IT INFORMS YOU OF WHERE YOU CAN GO TO READ THE REMAINDER OF THIS STORY WHICH IS COMPLETE WITH 60 CHAPTERS PLUS 11 OUTTAKES!_**

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Author's Note:

_**PLEASE READ!!!!Sorry to leave it here, but it seemed like the chapter was already getting a wee bit long and if I included their night out it would have been my biggest chapter yet. I figured it was better to break it up so you didn't have to wait any longer than necessary and also to save my beta from having to deal with so much at once. Hope it wasn't too painfully slow for you.**_

_**Also,**__**Just in case someone is confused **__**in regards to the playlist, EAM stands**__**for Edward Anthony Masen, of course. It's a playlist of songs that has reminded her of him over the years and I didn't share the songs in the playlist on purpose because they will come back into the story in a more important way later…but from his reaction I'm sure you have some ideas. Actually I already have a list of songs that I have associated with the playlist, but I'm curious if you guys have any suggestions**__**for**__**songs that would remind Bella of Edward over the years, both before and after they got together. Either include them in a review for me or you can PM me, but I'd love to hear your suggestions.**_

_**As always, thanks to my awesome beta Sihaya 9 for her work. I am forever sending her 10,000 plus word chapters that she then has to drudge through and find all my errors, and there are usually many. She's awesome and I am perpetually grateful for her great work!**_


	18. The Unexpected Censored

**Disclaimer: The characters represented in this story are the original property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended**

_**More fluff, more suspense, and quite a bit more smut in the original version of this chapter. By popular demand, I am going to work to pare down the smut to TOS standards and repost the remainder of this story here. For the full octane version please read my profile and follow it to TWCSlibrary or Twilighted to read the remainder of the story.**_

_**FYI…have I ever mentioned that my Mama D is modeled after Kathy Bates? **_

_**Thanks to my betas SassenachWench (my twilighted V beta) and Sihaya9. You girls rock!**_

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**The Unexpected**

**EPOV**

As the girls disappeared into Alice's bedroom, I couldn't help but laugh at the desperate look on Bella's face. She wanted to go out and enjoy the town one last time before house arrest, as they are so melodramatically referring to it. After they disappeared behind the door, I spent a few more minutes with Jasper and Emmett before running back to my apartment. I had to change and pick up something I wanted to give Bella tonight, if the opportunity presented itself.

I greeted Jensen on my way in to the building, only to find Lauren waiting outside the elevator doors when they opened. I tasted bitter bile in my mouth as she smiled sweetly at me, leaning toward me as I stepped out of the elevator.

"I see you finally ditched the dead weight." She crooned, dragging her hideously long acrylic nails covered in a blood red polish across my chest. "Are you ready for that fashion show yet? I saw my little gift for you was left carelessly tossed in the hallway. I assume your little mouse did that."

I growled, not only at how completely disgusting this woman was, but at the disrespectful way that she kept referring to woman I loved. How was it that I ever even considered fucking this chick? She's completely disgusting and ridiculous!

I reached up and grabbed her claw that was continuing to descend down my chest, squeezing hard as I glared into her face. "Lauren, I'm going to say this once and only once. There will NEVER be anything between us. If you refer to the woman I love in any way that is less than respectful again, you will find yourself kicked out of this building so fast that your head will spin. Are we understood?"

She smirked at me, blinking through her eyelashes, still attempting to look seductive. "Like you could do that…you don't have that kind of influence."

I snorted, shook my head, and leaned in close so that we were nose to nose. Her eyes widened and a smile spread across her face thinking she was gaining ground.

I reached my hands up to grab her shoulders hard. "You have no clue what kind of influence I have. The fact that I OWN this building gives me plenty of influence."

Her mouth dropped open in shock, at not only my confession, but also the venom in my eyes and the tightness of my grip.

"I'm serious, Lauren. I don't want any more gifts or to hear anything more from you at all or you're out."

I let go, turning toward my apartment, and laughing to myself at the look on Lauren's face. Hopefully I finally shook the bitch for good. I was sick to death of her and I couldn't guarantee her safety if she pulled another one of her little stunts with Bella around. I smiled as I thought of Bella's intensity. She really was such a little spitfire.

I quickly showered, changing into a pair of dark washed jeans and a dark green button up shirt, the one that Bella had commented on once before. I reached into the top dresser drawer to pull out the metal container that housed some of my most prized possessions. I snatched out the little black velvet pouch, tucking it into my shirt pocket before returning the lid to the container and replacing it within the drawer for safe keeping.

I looked at my watch, panicking a bit as I saw the time. I rushed out of the apartment after packing up my toiletries. Snatching both Bella's duffel and my suitcase so I could stay with her at Alice's, I headed down to hail a cab to go back to Hancock.

When I arrived back at the building, I was pleased to see that they had already started the increased security protocol agreed upon. The guards made me show my ID, checking my bags before allowing me to go upstairs to the apartment Bella would be staying in for the next two weeks.

I tried to feel positive about what we had set up, but part of me still felt leery. I didn't like depending on total strangers to protect the one thing I loved most in the world. I definitely liked even less that Jacob Black was among the list of protectors.

I knocked at the door, entering to find Jasper, Emmett, and Rose ready to go. Rose was hanging all over Emmett in an extremely tight, sexy red dress. The woman was without a doubt gorgeous, but interestingly enough, I never really felt that drawn to her. That was probably mostly because she and Emmett were destined to be together. From the moment they met, they just meshed…kind of like Bella and I.

Sometimes I wonder if I had met Bella a little later in life, when she was a bit older and I wasn't thrust into the big brother role with her being underage, if things would have been different. Part of me wants to believe that it would have, but a bigger part of me knows that I probably would have run away. I would have never gotten the chance to let her steal my heart like she did if I hadn't been around to know her so well.

Rose kissed Emmett one more time, before getting off of his lap, sauntering into Alice's bedroom to check on Alice and Bella. Jasper emerged just then from the kitchen with three beers in hand. He popped the top off each one, handing them out and plopping onto the couch like it were his nasty tan hand me down, as opposed to the five hundred thousand dollar velvet lined antique settee that it in fact was. I couldn't help but chuckle at how laid back Jasper was even in this setting, wondering what on earth the stuffy Brandons must think of him.

I walked around the room looking out the windows at the surrounding buildings and checking the locks on the doors to see exactly how burglar proof they were. Buildings like these are notorious for being cocky about their security and not taking the proper precautions when it came to actual security hardware. I was pleased to see that wasn't the case in this building; the door was thick, reinforced hardwood core, with a very sturdy deadbolt, handle, and dual chain locks.

I heard female voices float down the hallway, encouraging me to return to the living room just as Rose sashayed back to resume her role as Emmett's lap blanket. Right behind her, Alice pranced in with an excited bounce in her step; her sparkly pink dress caught the light and glimmered brightly. I watched the hallway expectantly for my Bella to appear. When she did, I thought I had literally died and gone to heaven.

She was looking shyly down at the floor with a blush. As sure as I knew my own mind at that moment, I also knew hers. She was feeling inferior, although I couldn't begin to know why. She glanced up at me through her lashes. I had to fight the lump in my throat as I struggled to swallow the saliva that had pooled on my tongue the moment I saw her.

She shifted her weight anxiously from her left shapely heel clad leg to the right, while my eyes swallowed her whole, slowly traveling up her long creamy legs to where they disappeared under the soft blue material of her skirt. My eyes continued up to find the inviting curves of her hips that sloped in to her tiny waist and then expanded again to accommodate her luscious looking chest that peeked out at me through the low cut neckline of the halter dress. The top of the dress tied behind her neck, leaving her beautiful alabaster shoulders calling for me to kiss them as they hid behind the curtain of her softly curled auburn streaked hair.

Between her collarbones rested a pretty diamond necklace that accented her long beautiful neck. I longed to bury my nose in her neck, losing myself in her essence. Her face was as beautiful as ever, with a thin coat of makeup that really was rather unnecessary, but I had to admit, did make her beautiful mocha colored eyes stand out and shine a bit more than usual.

I could tell she was feeling a mixture of uncomfortable and also a tad smug while I stood there gaping at her in awe. She was an absolute vision. After what was probably the longest minute of my life, I finally managed to regain control of my motor functions, willing my feet to cross the floor and bring my hand up to cup her cheek.

I shook my head, stared into her eyes, swallowing again forcefully. "Wow, there are honestly no words, my love. You are beyond ravishing."

She blushed and scoffed, looking down again. I instantly wrapped my fingers under her chin, forcing her to look back up at me again.

"I mean it, Bella. I've never, in my entire life, seen a woman look more beautiful." I leaned in slowly, placing a long soft kiss on her lips. I wrapped my free arm around her waist to pull her closer. She melted into me with a soft sigh.

I extended the kiss, unable to break it until a loud sound broke our trance. Emmett cleared his throat from across the room. We broke away still looking at each other, smiling as a light blush graced both of our faces.

"We need to get a move on guys. We're eating at _TGI Fridays_ before we go over to Dooley's so we better go."

Bella and I continued to look at each other, laughing when Alice spit out TGI Fridays like it was a dirty word. Alice was not a great fan of the typical chain restaurants.

I held Bella's jacket for her, then offered her my arm. She smiled up at me brightly and slid her hand into the crook, resting her other hand on top. We went down to the elevator bank and then out the front doors to slide into the stretch Hummer waiting for us. As we walked toward the large car, Bella's eyes grew large. I smiled, tucking her arm tighter into my own.

Alice and Jasper climbed in first, with Emmett and Rose following after. As we watched Emmett help Rose into the car, Bella whispered in my ear.

"That thing is massive! I think I'm going to need your help getting in. Where in the world will the driver ever be able to park that thing in Chicago?"

I chuckled and led her forward to the door, wrapping my hands around her waist, and lifting her effortlessly into the doorway. I climbed in behind her, closing the door once I was inside. Thankfully, each couple had our own seats, so we weren't crammed into the space.

When I was settled, Bella leaned against me. She wrapped her arm around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder. I pulled her closer, burying my nose in her hair, soaking up the sweetness that I was going to be missing for the next two weeks. Damn Training Camp!

We made it to Friday's, getting funny looks as we all clamored out of the large vehicle. Bella and I both found Alice quite amusing; she sat at the table with her hands up as though it were covered in disgusting filth. She handled everything with her thumb and forefinger, touching the surface of what she was holding as little as possible.

I had grown up well off, but thankfully my parents, and later my Aunt and Uncle, were all very down to earth. I was always encouraged not to be snobby or elitist and was taught that all peoples and walks of life held merit. Alice was good with people and didn't seem to look down on her boyfriend or friend for their living arrangements, even willing to step down from her marble clad tower to live among the masses, but when it came to dining and clothing, she was definitely a product of her upbringing. According to Bella, it had taken three months for her to finally eat in the hospital cafeteria without having a conniption.

Throughout our meal, I couldn't help but notice that each couple continually held onto their loved one, just as Bella and I were doing. We ate quietly with our free hands, keeping the ones between us clasped under the table, occasionally rubbing our thumbs on the back of the other's hand. We were all dreading having to leave.

The restaurant was fairly close to Dooley's, so after we finished our meals, we walked the few short blocks. The guys had to fight hard to slow our paces though so the girls, who were tottering on their heels, could keep up. I didn't mind though. Every second next to Bella was great, even if it was just walking down the street.

Soon we reached the door of Dooley's. We could see through the large plate glass windows that it was a packed house tonight. Jasper opened the door for Alice and Rose followed shortly after with Emmett glued to her back. I stepped forward to go inside, but I felt resistance against my arm. I turned my head to look at Bella, the expression on her face instantly concerning me.

I turned to stand in front of her, cupping her face. She kept shifting her gaze from the glass windows to my eyes.

"Bella, what's wrong love?"

Her warm chocolate eyes darted back and forth between mine, still looking for lack of a better term…terrified. "I…I don't know if I can go in there, Edward."

I stroked her cheeks with my thumbs. "Why not, my love? What's wrong?"

She blushed, trying to look away, but I pressed forward to kiss her lips comfortingly, before pulling back again. Finally, she sighed and glanced behind me to the glass, then into my eyes again.

"Standing right here, I can see four different women that you have taken home in recent months. I…I feel like I'm a lamb stepping into the lion's den or something. I don't think I can go in there."

I sighed and closed my eyes a second, feeling like a world class shit. Why hadn't I considered she would feel this way? Not that it mattered, she was the only thing I wanted. That wasn't going to stop this from being a strong reminder of my past, not to mention the looks she's going to be certain to get from any jealous past conquests. I felt the weight of the velvet pouch in my pocket, realizing that now was the time.

I leaned in again to kiss her lips gently, but still with as much love as I could manage to convey through a kiss. I pulled my lips away, while pulling her body into a tight hug, as I stroked her hair.

"I know that I've explained to you that you are the only one I want, but I also know that it's going to take some time for you to really believe that. I just need you to trust me. I only have eyes for you, Bella. You are beautiful, smart, amazing, and down right perfect. I am yours…totally and completely."

She looked up at me with a dazed expression as I continued.

"I have something with me that I've wanted to give you, but I wasn't sure when …and now I know that this is the right time. It'll help you remember one absolute truth."

She shook her head. "Edward, you know I don't want you to buy me things. I don't need…"

I put my finger over her lips to stop her. "I know, love, I didn't buy this. It's actually a family heirloom that I would be honored if you would keep this safe for me."

I pulled the velvet pouch out of my pocket, lifting her hand to lay it in her palm.

"Bella, I've told you before that my mother's side of the family is Irish right?"

She nodded and smiled.

"My maternal great-grandparents were first generation immigrants. They came to America with next to nothing and a dream; they ended up being some of the lucky few where the American dream managed to pay off in a big way. Within ten years they went from having nothing to having a fortune. For their fifteenth wedding anniversary, my great grandfather replaced my great grandmother's thin, bent, tin wedding band with a very special ring that means several things depending on how it's worn."

I pulled the small silver band from the velvet bag, placing it in the palm of Bella's hand; she gasped.

"This Bella is known as a Claddagh ring."

She rotated the band on her hand to observe the design with the two hands holding the crown topped diamond heart cast in eighteen carat white gold as I explained.

"In Ireland, this type of ring is very common and tells a lot about a person's life. If the band is worn on the right hand with the heart facing away from the person's body, it means that they are unattached and open to finding love. If it's on their left hand and facing out, it means they are engaged. If it's on their left hand facing toward their body, then it means they are married."

I took it out of her hand and placed it on her right hand with the heart facing toward her body, "But if it's on the right hand and the bottom of the heart points toward the wearer, it means that their heart has been captured and they are in love. When someone gives this ring, they are basically saying 'With my two hands I give you my heart, and crown it with my love.'"

I looked up into Bella's eyes as they glazed with misty tears.

"Bella, would you wear my heart on your hand?" I lifted her hand and kissed the ring.

She nodded her head slowly, staring at it with a stunned expression.

After a few moments of stunned silence, she surprised me by flinging herself forward again, jumping into my arms. She grasped my face between her hands, assaulting my mouth with a warm enthusiastic kiss.

"Thank you, Edward," she gasped when she finally pulled away. "Thank you…this is...I would say amazing or wonderful or even the sweetest thing I've ever heard of, but none of those seem to be enough."

I set her back on her feet with a chuckle, pushing a long lock of hair that had blown across her face back behind her shoulder.

"No…thank _you_. Now, I know I'm getting cold, so you must be freezing. Can we please go inside and enjoy our evening now?"

She smiled and nodded, grabbing my hand and curling herself around my arm. I kissed the top of her head, opened the door, and led her into the bar. As we walked in, Mama D looked up from the counter. She smiled brightly at us with a wink. I looked down to see Bella wave, she appeared to glow in the dim light of the bar.

We slowly made our way through the crowd of bleach blonde, spray tans, barely there outfits, and impossibly high heels, until we finally reached our regular table. Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, Andy, and his new girlfriend Andrea were all there sipping drinks. They all looked up with worried expressions for a second before their eyes fell on my beaming Bella, and then they all relaxed, smiling back with matching glows.

I helped her slide her coat off, hanging it on the back of her chair, before leading her back toward the bar to order our drinks. I positioned her in front of the bar. I stood behind her with my hands on either side of her body on the bar, leaning forward to kiss her neck lightly while we waited. Within seconds of reaching the bar, Mama D was standing in front of us with twinkling eyes and a knowing smirk.

"About damn time you two! I thought I was going to be dead and buried before you guys managed to sort your shit! It does my heart good to see you both so happy." She reached her hand out and grabbed Bella's, only to freeze and flip her hand over to reveal Bella's new accessory.

"My, my, my!" She exclaimed, beaming even brighter. "He really has turned from the dark side. Breaking out a Claddagh…very romantic, Edward. I'm proud of you."

My cheeks were actually starting to hurt from how long I had been smiling from ear to ear. "Thanks, Mama D. It was my great grandmother's and I wanted Bella to wear it."

Mama smiled and then turned to tell a guy next to us, who was waiting when we arrived, to stow it a minute when he started complaining. Then she returned to us with a smile.

"What can I get my favorite love birds before I have to go tame the masses?"

Bella asked for a Long Island Iced Tea and I asked for an Amstel, which Mama handed us with a flourish, reaching out to squeeze Bella's ring adorned hand before turning to the next patron.

We settled into our seats, immediately intertwining our fingers again. Bella reached out with her right hand to lift her drink to her mouth when we heard Alice gasp.

"Isabella Marie Swan? What is that on your finger?...and if it's what it looks like, why is it on the wrong hand?"

Bella blushed and looked at me.

I smiled, pulling her hand up to kiss it again, as I explained to the table what the ring meant and where I got it. The girls all looked at us with mushy expressions, while the guys stared at me like I had totally lost my mind.

I looked over at Bella with a wink. I smirked with a shrugged. "I guess I took Beyonce's advice and put a ring on it."

Bella began to giggle and shake her head and was joined a few seconds later by the rest of the table. She finally leaned forward and grabbed my shirt collar, bringing me closer to kiss her once more.

We all sat talking. I kept checking Bella to make sure she was okay, knowing how she had been feeling just before we walked inside. To my pleasure, her smile never seemed to falter. She continued to glow radiantly, reaching down every few minutes to look at the ring on her hand, grazing her thumb across the band.

After a couple of drinks, the girls decided it was time to christen the dance floor when a song they liked began. Bella looked at me concerned for a second, before Alice and Rose pulled her and Andrea onto the floor where they danced in a circle, shutting out several guys who immediately began to gravitate toward them.

I was completely enamored with my angel as she danced on the floor with her friends…so much so, that I didn't hear a word the guys were saying. This was definitely better than the last time I sat here watching her dance. That night, I was jealous of how happy she appeared, laughing, so carefree and full of joy. That night I knew I had screwed up so badly, it felt like she was a million miles away.

Tonight it was all very different. She looked over her shoulder at me. I smiled and winked at her. I continued to watch her sway from side to side with the beat as she lifted her hands through her hair, before leaning over to listen to something Alice was trying to tell her. I saw her shoulders shake with laughter in reaction to whatever Alice had said. She looked over, blushing, and then blew me a kiss.

I pretended to catch it again and put it on my cheek. It was only then that my attention finally returned to the table I was sitting at when the guys all broke out into coughing laughter.

"Holy Fucking Shit! I can't believe I just saw that! I never ever in a million years thought I'd see Edward Panty-Dropper Masen get so fucking bowled over by a female, ever! Where's the Guinness Book of World Records people when you need them!" Andy bellowed from the far side of the table with a glowing grin.

Emmett and Jasper continued to laugh, shaking their heads in agreement.

"They've been like this all week, Andy. Between your physical therapy and Bella working night shift, you haven't been around them enough to see it, but he's like this all the fucking time now. I swear, I would be worried about alien invasion if I hadn't found my own angel and kind of understand how it could happen." Jasper yelled in reply.

Emmett shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, well it's been a lot harder for me to come to grips with. I know they've been in love for fucking ever, but it's still hard to sit back and let your sister fall into a relationship with a guy whose nickname is, among other things, "panty dropper"; even if he is your best fucking friend. It's against the laws of nature or some shit, but I'm trying because, well, you see it yourself. He's definitely not the same when it comes to her. He never has been."

Andy just nodded, grabbing the next server to come by, requesting a round of shots. When she came back, he threw a large bill on her tray, telling her to keep the change.

"To the reformed Man-Whore who finally figured out he had a heart and where it belonged. If you hurt her, we're all going to beat you into a bloody pulp!"

I cringed as they all yelled, "Here, here!" and then laughed along with them.

"Look! He's turning a little pale. We better down this shit already!"

We reached our glasses to the middle of the table, tapping them and downing the shot. The clear liquid burned as it slid down my throat. I grabbed my beer to help chase it down.

The guys continued to tease me, so I once again tuned them out. When the slowly increasing sound of a guitar began to grow in the speakers, I sucked in a breath. Feeling my pants tighten, I looked over to meet the gaze from the warm brown eyes of the girl I needed in my arms.

The first line of the Foo Fighter's song _"Everlong"_ had just begun to fill the room. I instantly found myself behind Bella, pulling her close to my body. I wrapped my arms around her waist, leaning down to whisper reassurances of my love in her ear.

I fought to catch my breath, as memories of Bella's apartment earlier that day flooded my mind. I sat on her bed, watching her fill her suitcase. While I was waiting, I decided to check out her iPod to see what kind of music she had listened to lately. I scrolled through a few pages of songs before deciding that it might be more informative to check out her personal playlists. I scrolled down through lists titled: study, peaceful, annoyed, work out, sleep, and then there was one that made my heart stop…EAM.

I knew immediately what it probably was; still, I couldn't help but ask. The second the question was out, she dropped what she was holding. When she turned back toward me, she wouldn't look at me; her face was bright red. I immediately clicked on the list, my heart swelling as I read through the songs on the screen.

I found myself wondering how long she had thought about me in quite this capacity, so I asked how long she had this list on her player. Her reply was to ask me how long she had the player.

I swallowed hard, remembering when I bought it for her twentieth birthday, just three years ago. For three years, she had been listening to these songs and thinking of me. I scrolled down, reading name after name of songs that ranged from ballads of sad longing to songs full of nothing but pure lustful desire.

She had begun to work again, quickly throwing random items in her suitcase.

I reacted on instinct. I stepped between her and the bed, tossing the items in her hands to the open suitcase, before pulling her up against me. She wrapped herself around me like a warm cocoon. We were nothing but arms and hands and mouths. I swear on everything I own, if Emmett hadn't come home when he did, I would have taken her right there against her bedroom wall.

I had totally lost all control and couldn't even find it within myself to feel sorry for it. That playlist answered every worry in the back of my mind because, little did she know, I had my own iPod playlist with many of the same songs on it. Among those songs, was the one that was playing now as I held her close to me on Dooley's dance floor.

As soon as I pulled her close to me, she melted into my chest; her left hand sliding across her waist to rest on top of mine. She intertwined our fingers while her right hand slid blindly up my chest and shoulder to bury itself in my hair. We swayed together with no space between us. She grabbed my hair in a fist and pulled my lips down to meet hers as she strained to look over her shoulder at me. A flame flashed between us as our tongues met.

I was so aroused that I'm sure half of the bar knew my issues, not that I gave a shit. Neither did Bella apparently, because instead of pulling away, she shifted her weight back, pressing her ass into my hip. She shifted back and forth with intentional pressure against me, eliciting a groan that rumbled from deep in my chest.

We finally parted at the lips, as our bodies continued to be glued to one another. I pulled my arms tighter around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder as I sang the chorus of the song in her ear.

"If everything could ever be this real forever…If anything could ever be this good again…The only thing I'll ever ask of you…You've gotta promise not to stop when I say when….she sang."

Bella's breathing picked up throughout the chorus. When the next verse started, I began to run my nose up and down the column of her neck, before nibbling on her earlobe during the pauses, resulting in heavenly gasps from her beautiful lips.

"Breathe out, so I can breath you in…Hold you in...And now I know you always do...out of your head, out of my head I sang."

"And I wonder…when I sing along with you."

She shifted her head to expose her neck to me and I began to kiss it gently as I sang into her skin, feeling her vocal cords vibrating in her neck as she sang along.

"If everything could ever be this real forever…If anything could ever be this good again…The only thing I'll ever ask of you…You've gotta promise not to stop when I say when…she sang."

As the musical break began, she grabbed my arms, loosening my grip on her. She spun around to face me, kissing my lips, and caressing my jaw with her soft hands. We stayed in that moment on the dance floor, forgetting that there was anybody else in existence, rubbing together in a haze of lust and hormones. There were no sweaty men gawking at my angel, no plastic floozies trying to get my attention, no brothers or friends watching us, some amused and others disgusted…it was just Edward and Bella. How in the hell was I going to walk away from her tomorrow morning?

All too soon, the song faded. We pulled away, both panting with hooded eyes. I hoped she would be ready for more soon, because at this rate, I wasn't going to be able to control myself much longer.

She slowly tipped up on her toes, running her hands through the hair on top of my head with a smile, before burying them in the nape of my neck.

Jason Mraz's "_I'm Yours"_began to play. I tightened my arms around her waist, pulling her closer as we swayed playfully from side to side.

"Did they steal your iPod, or what?" I playfully asked in her ear.

She chuckled, blushing, knowing I was referring to her playlist again.

Instead of answering, she just snuggled herself closer, tucking her nose into the crook of my neck with a sigh.

I lifted a hand to run through her long hair with a sigh of my own. We continued to sway until the song ended, at which point we agreed to get a drink refill and take some time to cool off.

By the time we returned to the table, Rosalie was sitting in Emmett's lap with her mouth suctioned to his face. I glanced over to see Jasper roll his eyes. I mouthed the question 'distraction technique?'

Jasper nodded with a chuckle as he leaned over and whispered, "We thought he was going to go tear your throat out and carry her away caveman-style for a bit there. Lucky for you, Rose is good at making him see reason…or forget all reason…I'm not sure which."

"Remind me to thank her later," I whispered with a pat on his back. He smiled and nodded.

The rest of the night continued on in the same way. Occasionally, the girls would go dance, sometimes we joined them, and sometimes we simply sat back and acted as cockblockers for the assholes trying to land our girls. I was pleasantly surprised to find I didn't have to shoo away nearly as many barflies attempting to grab my attention as I had feared.

We were nearing the end of the night, the girls, who had all been drinking much stronger drinks than us, were having a grand time. It was actually kind of fun to watch buzzed Bella. She was so cute, and giggly, and unfortunately, clumsier than usual.

Or maybe the should be fortunately, since it resulted in her dragging me with her to dance every time she went back out so I could keep her from falling. This also resulted in more glorious grinding on the dance floor. Have mercy, that woman could move! I had no doubt in mind that her fears about being good in bed were completely unfounded.

We were up at the bar, ordering Bella's fifth Long Island of the night. She was leaning with her back against the bar facing me while we waited for the bartender to get her drink, when she looked over my shoulder and froze. I leaned down to ask her what was wrong when she began to shake a bit and pointed.

Just outside of the plate glass window stood a hooded figure, glaring in at our friends. Just seconds before his hood had been replaced, I saw what had frozen Bella mid caress.

Under the hood was Trager. His eyes were full of venom as he looked over at our table, taking in the scene. Rose was still draped around Emmett, her mouth now attached to his neck. Meanwhile, Alice and Jasper were practically dry humping next to them.

We pushed away from the bar and Bella stumbled toward the table. I took off, shoving past the crowd of wasted college kids on my way to the door, but by the time I opened the door and stepped onto the street, he was gone. I took a few steps down the block just in time to see a black Corolla with tinted windows dart out of a parking space, cutting off a car and nearly causing a collision, as it sped past me down the darkened street.

A moment later, all our friends and Bella were standing next to me, coats in hand. Emmett was pacing the sidewalk screaming obscenities to the sky with Rosalie at his side, trying to calm him. Jasper pulled a tearful Alice close, stroking her head in an attempt to comfort her. I felt Bella wrap her arms around my waist, burying her head in my chest.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe this was a big deal. Thank you for taking care of me, Edward. I love you."

I ran my hand down her head, kissing the top as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders protectively.

We called for the car and all climbed in together, sobering up on our way to Hancock; our buzzes were completely killed. Once we arrived at Alice's apartment, the decision was immediately made that Rose needed to move in for the duration of our absence as well. Emmett took her to her home to pack a bag.

Jasper and I sat in the living room with our girls on our laps, until Andy and Andrea left for Andy's place. Andy still wasn't released for active duty, so he was going to be in town while we were gone. He had already made plans to move Andrea in with him for the time being to be safe, also promising to check in on the girls often. We thanked him, shaking his hand. He hugged Bella and Alice before taking Andrea back to his apartment. After he left, we decided to turn in since we didn't know if Emmett would return now or wait until morning to bring Rosalie back to Alice's apartment.

One nice thing about the timing of the whole situation was that we didn't have to explain any of this to Alice's parents. They were vacationing in the South of France for the next month, blissfully unaware.

With my arm around Bella, I walked down the hallway to the guest rooms on the opposite side of the apartment from Alice's room. We decided that we were better off being as far away as possible from Alice and Jasper.

I opened the door for Bella, closing it behind me. The second the latch clicked shut, I felt myself being slammed into the door as Bella pushed against me. She grabbed my collar in both of her fists, pulling me down into a hot tongue probing kiss.

I moaned while she rubbed her body close to mine, our tongues continued to do battle before I pulled her away gasping.

"Bella, you've gotta cool down. You're still drunk, sweetie. Not like this."

She looked up at me through her eyelashes.

My cock twitched at the glint in her eye, she just smirked up at me. She was sexy as fucking hell.

"Edward, after all that stuff with Trager, I'm pretty sure I'm stone cold sober. Can't we just do a little bit and stop before going all the way? I mean, you can't run a marathon without a little training and warm up."

She tipped up on her toes, tracing my mouth with her tongue. My eyes rolled up behind my eyelids and my mouth fell open. Her tongue darted in immediately, delving deeply. I could taste the sweetness of her five alcoholic drinks mixed with the essence of Bella.

I moaned, grabbing her and lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I spun us around, pushing her into the door.

Her hands snaked into my hair. She threw her head back with a gasp when her back hit the door.

My mouth moved from her lips to her ear where I suckled her earlobe, before sucking on the bit of flesh behind her ear, and then trailing my nose down her neck and back up again.

Her hands were demanding, pulling me tighter into her neck. I sucked greedily at the tender flesh where her neck and her shoulders met. She moaned and arched her back, bucking her hips into me as I felt my control waver. If I wasn't careful, I was going to fuck her right here against the door, and that wasn't how I wanted our first time to be. I willed myself back into control, softening my kisses on my way back up to her mouth.

I stepped back and set her carefully on her feet, feeling guilty for causing the disappointment on her face. I tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, love, but I don't want our first time to happen like this. I'm losing my control and I don't want to do that with you. I don't want to just fuck you."

She leaned forward and ran her hand up to my face, where she gently traced the outlines of my eyes and cheeks with her fingers as I closed my eyes. When I opened them, the look on her face made my cock twitch again in my jeans, which were now extremely, painfully tight.

"I want to try something…"

I gulped as she pushed me toward the bed, pushing me down and crawling on top to straddle me, all the while eagerly kissing me. She slowly made her way down my neck and began to unbutton my shirt, trailing kisses down the exposed flesh of my chest as she went.

"Bella…Bella, this isn't helping love." I panted.

Her soft warm lips and tongue traced along my abs and her hands drifted lower toward the button of my jeans. She crawled backwards down my body.

I jumped, grabbing her hands and sitting up, just as she settled on her knees beside the bed between my legs.

"No, Love, you don't need to do that."

She smiled up at me with such a sexy damned grin that I thought I'd cum right there.

"Edward," she crooned in a husky voice that made my insides vibrate just at the sound, "I know I don't _have_ to do it, but I really **want**to. You've been a very good boy who deserves a little relief. Not to brag, but this is the one thing I happen to know I'm quite good at."

My eyes bugged out at her in shock, unable to process the fact that my Bella was saying she was confident at her fellatio skills. I began to wonder for the briefest of moments if I wasn't entrenched in yet another deliciously hot dream.

Bella smiled again with confidence burning in her eyes as she stretched up, grabbing my face between her hands and pulling me down for a fierce kiss. My lungs burned and my loins twitched longing to feel that hot insistent tongue where I wanted it most.

The absolutely hottest fucking kiss of my entire life left me breathless. My sweet Bella pulled away in full sex kitten mode, fucking licking her way back down my chest staring into my eyes the whole way. Forget badass Bella, confident sex kitten Bella was now the absolute sexiest thing I would ever see in my entire life, even if I lived a hundred more years.

She lapped her way down to the button of my jeans, popping the snap instantly. She gazed at me as she slowly and torturously pulled down my zipper, letting her pinky finger graze over me as she went.

After it was open, she ran explored me slowly behind the firm material. She grabbed the top of my jeans, yanking them down; I lifted up my hips to make it a bit easier. As I lifted, she leaned forward to place a kiss through the cotton of my briefs.

It was like a dream as she gave me the hottest blow job of my whole life, swallowing me whole before swallowing everything I had to give her. I came harder than I ever have before, screaming her name the whole fucking time. I moaned her name over and over again as she continued to focus on my body as I came down from my high.

When she was done, she climbed up on the bed next to me.

I wanted so badly to flip her under me and kiss the living shit out of her before returning the favor, but I couldn't move. I laid there gasping for air.

She leaned over me, kissing my cheek. Well, I wasn't having any of that. With what energy I had left, I reached my hands out to grab her neck, pulling her down to ravish her mouth with mine. I ran my tongue back and forth within her mouth, causing us both to moan.

We pulled away, panting.

I looked into her eyes. "You are the most amazing creature ever created. Holy hell, Bella, I have never cum that hard, and I mean **never**. You are unbelievable!"

She smiled, blushing, the vixen disappearing with my orgasm and my beautiful shy girl next door re-inhabiting her beautiful chocolate eyes.

"Well, you see, by dating the easy girls, you missed out a little bit I guess. Girls who take things more slowly learn a few more tricks along the way out of necessity. After all, if the cow's going to go give all the milk away for free then why would the farmer bother with grooming it?"

I laughed as she blushed, looking away abashedly. I reached up, tipping her face back toward me to kiss her.

"Oh Bella, I love you so much." I chuckled again, shaking my head. "You are like every teenage boy's wet dream all rolled into one tiny body. You're perfect."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't contain the blush that once again flooded her cheeks.

I reached down to pull my underwear back on, leaving my jeans somewhere on the floor, pullng myself under the covers next to Bella. She curled up to my side for a while before climbing out of bed to change into her pajamas and returning to curl into my side.

I slept better than I ever had in my entire life that night. After having been satisfied by my beautiful angel, I decided I could manage enough control to try to return the favor. I awoke her to the sensation of my tongue teasing her bare nipples, which were most definitely far more amazing than anything my weak little imagination could create. Oh man, her moans were nearly climax inducing in and of themselves.

Her sounds were so unbelievable that I had to hear more, I needed to hear her when she came. While I still lavished love on her beautiful breasts, my hand slid its way slowly down her stomach, hovering at the top of her underwear.

She squeaked when she felt my finger slip past the band and drift toward her core.

I could feel the heat before I ever reached the promised land. The tip of my finger had just brushed past her intimate flesh when a loud knock on the door made us both jump.

"Hate to break up the love fest you two, but security just called up; Emmett and Rose have just been let through and are on their way up. If he heard one tenth of what we can hear in the kitchen, Edward would be dead now, and you'd be shipped to a convent, Bells. I suggest you two wrap it up and get out here before they reach the door."

Bella grabbed her pillow, throwing it over her face, screaming in frustration as I groaned next to her. So close yet so far away…ugh!

We rolled out of bed, rushed to get dressed, and left the room, during which time I had made one decision that we would definitely have to stick to. There would never be any lovin' with Emmett around because judging by the sounds she made just by me sucking on her tits, she had the potential to shatter glass with her screams when I finally get to make her cum…and the second I get home that's exactly what I plan to do.

We joined Alice and Jasper in the kitchen for breakfast. We were just settling in our seats when Emmett and Rose stalked into the apartment, hauling three suitcases full of clothes for Rose. Rose was definitely going to end up with the shit end of the deal with our arrangement since she worked far less than Alice and Bella and would be stuck here alone most of the time. Apparently that didn't matter, since it seemed she came prepared to go out every night in spite of the lockdown. I began to worry that they might try to slip out anyway.

The security detail arrived, now three strong from our late night phone call to the company's manager after our encounter with Trager. We all begrudgingly said goodbye to our significant others.

I can say with all certainty that leaving my Bella in that apartment was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

She walked me to the apartment door, kissing me one last time and watched with Alice and Rose when we walked to the elevator. I passed Jacob Black on my way to the door. I glared at him, sending him a two part mental warning. One, let anything happen to her and you're dead meat, and two, touch her and I will tear you limb from limb and dump you in the lake never to be heard from again.

He nodded in understanding, looking down at the floor as the elevator doors opened.

We stepped in and turned around to watch our girls, each with tears dripping down their faces. We had to leave them vulnerable and in danger. The doors closed and I gasped as the panic took over my brain.

By the time we reached the bottom floor, both Emmett and Jasper were trying to calm me down and convince me not to walk into the chief's office and quit on the spot. I didn't need the damn job or the damn money, the only thing I needed in the whole world was Bella and I was leaving her in peril. There was no fucking way I could do this.

Andy arrived to check on the girls at the same time Emmett and Jasper were about to lose their side of the argument. Andy walked up, wrapping his arm around my shoulder tightly and pulling me to face him. With his hands tight on my shoulders, he shook me.

"Listen to me, Masen; I owe that girl my fucking life. She has armed building security, three fucking body guards watching her 24/7, and me, all ready to risk our lives to keep her safe. Don't worry. She's going to be fine. Go get this fucking training over with and get home to her. The sooner you leave, the sooner you return."

I took a deep breath, looking in Andy's determined eyes. He was right. My being here wouldn't be any better than the protocols we had set up for all the girls. She would be okay. She had to be okay. I took a deep breath, feeling like I would puke any minute and sighed.

"Fine, but let's get this fucking over with so I can get back home."

They all smiled. Emmett picked up my suitcase, carrying it to the door. Jasper tapped me on the back a couple of times, directing me to follow Emmett. We climbed into the van we had been assigned for the road trip where the rest of our team, minus medical leave Andy, were waiting. My heart clenched once more painfully, as we pulled out to make our way toward Minnesota.


	19. Missing and Misunderstandings

_**This is a very heavy SWAT focused chapter during their training week. I think most is self explanatory. I have a feeling their training is not as much like basic training for the US armed services as I envision, but I just went with it. You guys are going to hate me ¾ of the way through this chapter, but just believe me that things will work out.**_

_**This is an unedited chapter…so full version is here :)**_

_**Super thanks as always to my Jr. Validation Beta SassenachWench who gets these out to you nearly as fast as I can post. You have her to thank for your fast updates nearly as much as you do me :) Also thanks to Sihaya9 for her initial beta work!**_

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**Missing and Misunderstandings**

**BPOV**

I watched the elevator doors close through a blurred curtain of tears. As soon as the sounds coming from the shaft indicated that the car had left the floor, I sighed, wiping uselessly at the tears rolling down my cheeks. I felt a bit foolish until I turned to see both Alice and Rose were wearing matching expressions as they wiped their own faces.

I looked back toward the elevator, catching Jacob's eye when he looked our way. He gave a small understanding smile with a tiny wave. I waved back, doing my best to return the smile.

I followed Alice and Rosalie into the apartment, each of us collapsing on separate pieces of living room furniture. We were a sad crew with identically hunched shoulders and sulking faces.

"I miss him already and they probably haven't even left the building yet," Alice moaned from the settee where she was curled up with her chin resting on her knees.

"Me too…exactly when did I get so pathetic? Only a month ago I was a strong independent female doctor, kicking ass and taking names. I feel like that woman would be ashamed of how ridiculous I am being now." I whined from the chair I sat in crossways, my legs laying limply over one of the arms.

Rose scoffed at us both, rolling her eyes. "It's called new love, ladies. It does some crazy ass shit to the psyche, but in the end, it's worth it. You'll find your balance eventually, but even once you do, it's still hard to say goodbye. I'm going to miss my EmBear."

Alice and I both looked up, chuckling under our breath.

"EmBear?" I giggled.

She growled at me and tossed a throw pillow toward me nailing me square in the face. "Knock it off, you'll end up with a nickname for Edward soon enough." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and I rolled my eyes.

"Besides, you call him brother bear…how's it any different?"

I shrugged before turning to Alice. "Do you have a nickname for Jasper?" I was sort of nervous to hear the response.

She smiled a crooked, evil smile and nodded. "Yep, but it's private…not suitable for civilized conversation."

I snorted, shaking my head, "Thanks for keeping it to yourself then!"

Rose hit me with another pillow, "Speak for yourself, squirt. I for one want a few juicy details!"

Rose and Alice broke into a far too detailed conversation about Alice and Jasper's bedroom practices, which I struggled to ignore. Instead, I looked out at the Chicago skyline from the large penthouse windows, nearly succeeding until I heard my name and realized their focus had shifted.

"Oh man, Rose. It's such a good thing that security called when you and Em checked through downstairs or else we would be planning Edward's funeral right now. Bella's definitely a screamer!"

I felt my face flood crimson as I moaned, "Oh God, please no…don't start in on me! Besides, you guys interrupted before we got to the good stuff."

Rose's eyes grew the size of saucers. "Holy shit, Swan, you were that loud and he hadn't even gotten you off yet? You better invest in some soundproofing!"

I smirked, "Not a problem if we stay at Edward's."

The girls' mouths dropped open a second before they both started yammering at once. Suddenly, I was saved by the bell. Alice answered the phone and then smiled and thanked whoever was on the phone.

"Andy just checked in through security. He's on his way up."

I smiled to myself. Sweet Andy…the boys haven't even been gone ten minutes yet and he's already checking up on us. About seven minutes later, a knock at the door heralded Andy's arrival. Alice opened the door with a smile to find Jacob standing at the door with his arms crossed.

"You have a guest. He says his name is Andy. Should we let him through?"

Alice giggled. "Yes silly, Andy is an injured member of the squad. You never have to ask in regard to Andy. I'll call downstairs to let security know that he's free to come up anytime as well."

Jacob moved aside and Andy waltzed in with a wide smile. He threw his arm around Alice, giving her a half hug of hello, before striding straight over to me. He wrapped me in his arms, kissing the top of my head.

"Ah, my little melodrama inducing sister figure…how are you doing my sweet?"

I looked up at him questioningly as he chuckled, running a hand through his still extremely short hair with a smirk.

"I'm not sure exactly what you did to Edward Masen, but when I came in the building, he was about three seconds away from stalking into HQ, giving the chief his walking papers, and coming straight back here to become your personal bodyguard until you're old and gray."

My eyes grew wide. I shook my head. "What in the world? He was ready to quit?"

Andy just stifled a small laugh, shaking his head again. "Kid, I think that man would hand over his own beating heart straight out of his chest if he thought it would keep you safe. I've never seen him like this over anybody, ever. I knew he was in love with you, but damn! Took me five minutes to talk him into trusting in what he's set up to keep you safe, as well as my blood oath to check in on you to get him into that van. I wouldn't be surprised if he made a road trip down over their weekend just to see you. They are at Camp Ripley through Friday and then they have a three day weekend before they go to the shootout house Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday then they'll come home that Friday."

"They don't have anything going on all weekend long?" Alice squealed. I could see the wheels spinning in her mind.

"Chief wants them to do "bonding activities" to develop their group dynamic, but I'd bet Emmett will pretty much tell them to go hang out and meet at whatever local bar they find for the bonding part of the experience."

Alice's smile grew wide and devious. I knew that was going to mean trouble.

"Al, we're supposed to be working Saturday and Monday…so whatever you're thinking won't work." I sighed nervously.

"Oh won't it? We managed to get yesterday off didn't we?"

"Yeah, at the cost of working a double tonight and tomorrow, which we still need to go try to get our sleep in before our shift from hell."

She sighed, "Bella, what else do we have to do this week besides work anyway? A couple more doubles won't kill us if it means that we get to see our boys. What do you say?"

I looked at Rose, her eyes twinkling hopefully. "Fine, I'll ask around and see if anyone is willing to trade or barter."

Alice squealed, jumping up and down clapping like crazy.

Andy shot us all funny looks before sighing and smiling. "Aren't you guys forgetting lock down and your armed bodyguards?"

"If we leave town, we won't need body guards. Hell, I'll pay them overtime if they come with us if that's what it takes! Come on! It'd be great to surprise them."

Andy looked concerned but then shrugged his shoulders in defeat. He'd been around Alice enough to know that resistance was futile.

Andy sat and talked a bit longer before excusing himself to let us rest.

Rose got dressed for her shift that started at noon as Alice and I went to our rooms to try to sleep.

I tossed and turned for an hour before I got up with a sigh. I began to wander around the monstrous apartment. Before I knew it, I had wandered into the guest bedroom I had occupied with Edward the night before. I had made our bed, but there were telltale signs that it had been slept in the night before.

I peeled back the covers and climbed in. I buried my nose in the pillow that Edward had used the night before, melting at his delicious scent. It would be really nice not to have to go two whole weeks before being in his presence again. I could definitely survive seven days a lot better than thirteen. I began to think of who I could beg to trade before falling asleep to dream of being in Edward's arms.

**EPOV**

The nearly nine fucking hour drive to the middle of fucking nowhere was one of the most torturous experiences of my life. The further I got away from Chicago, the more every nerve in my body vibrated with the need to go back to Bella. My need to take care of and protect Bella was stronger than anything I've ever experienced in my life…even my need for sex.

We pulled up to the gates of the National Guard Base which served a variety of purposes. Providing civilian training for SWAT teams as well as other branches of law enforcement was just one portion of the base's uses. We entered the gates, following the guards' directions to the stark barracks that would be our home for the next week. Surprisingly, this was our first time attending Camp Ripley for training. I got the instant impression that this was going to be the closest thing we've seen to US military basic training since what we endured upon first joining SWAT.

We settled our bags in our sleeping area, taking out our phones to text the girls who were probably sleeping since they had to be in at ten, except for Rose who was already well into her shift. Moments later, a tall man with arms that were actually bigger than Emmett's stepped through the doorway, calling us to attention. We stood straight as he walked up and down the aisle between our beds, introducing himself as Sergeant Grayson and explaining to us what we should expect for the next week.

"With the exception of two nights of limited leave in town, your ass will be mine 24/7. I know you are all experienced operatives within the civilian paramilitary community, but to be honest, you didn't train with me. I don't know if whoever trained you taught you well enough to meet my expectations, so we are starting from the basics and building our way up. You will run P.T., you will sit in countless hours of courses on weapon usage, marksmanship, hostage situation strategies, blind insertions, and the list goes on, but you get the basic idea. For the next week, you will review and relearn everything in the SWAT arsenal. When I'm done with you, you will most definitely live up to your reputation of being the best of the best in Chicago. Now you have ten minutes to muster. Meet me outside this barracks in full armor, side arms locked and at the ready. Firearms are located in the locker at the north of this building. Now move out!"

With that we all jumped up, rushing to slip into our uniforms, body armor, securing our helmets and personal side arms. Then rushing to the end of the room to pass out the AK's, M-15s and 12 gauge shot guns available in the arms locker, we finally ran out to join formation.

The hulk of a man walked back and forth in front of us with a scowl on his face. "Now that was disgraceful. Eight minutes and forty-seven seconds for an elite squad to muster with gear and arms? It shouldn't have taken any more than six. Yes, I gave you ten, but as you all know, the sooner you show up prepared to a target site, the more likely you are to succeed in your mission. Ninety percent of all SWAT assignments are completed without a single shot being fired, but that's only true if the team responds immediately, with the most efficient protocols in effect. You boys have gotten soft in the city, so it's time to toughen you up. We're taking a ten mile jog in full dress, with your arms."

I felt myself groan, hearing matching complaints throughout the group that only earned us evil looks from the instructor. We had arrived at the camp at seven in the evening, were lined up in front of the building by seven thirty, and didn't return to the confines of our barracks until nearly nine. Our entire bodies were burning and aching after our excruciating ten-mile run, which was followed by a quick timed run of the obstacle course. We rushed to shower, collapsing on our beds with partially opened eyes to check out cells. Each of us had messages from our girls. We barely had energy, but managed to smile before typing back quick responses before passing out on our lumpy, and yet all too welcome bunks.

Sunday morning we were blasted awake by a screaming air horn, echoing off the walls, causing my ears to throb in response. The sun was still below the horizon as we rolled out of our bunks and rushed to stand. The Sergeant paced between our rows of beds again, barking orders and leaving us rushing to muster and meet out in front of our barracks. This time we were ready in seven minutes thirty seconds, which earned us a five-mile jog and two more difficult obstacle courses. Afterwards, we congregated on the verge of collapse in the marksman training area, where we received a quick breakfast of water and some oatmeal like rations before our training continued.

SWAT marksman training was a far cry from the range training most people are familiar with. Our SWAT training consisted of moving targets and 'civilian' decoys, in a room or confined area where you have to use quick thinking and discernment to take out dangerous targets, all while identifying and avoiding innocents. This range was taxing on both the mind and body.

To our great relief, the Sergeant actually gave us high praise, stating that we had the highest marksman percentage ratings he had seen to date. After our grueling time in the marksman pit, we were escorted to the mess hall, where we thankfully greeted a protein-heavy, sit down meal. We were all exhausted as we sat, shoveling the food greedily into our mouths. None of us had a military background, but we had a renewed sense of appreciation for what the soldiers who served went through.

Training continued on with tactical classes and scenario discussions all afternoon. We received another protein heavy supper in the mess hall before being dismissed to our barracks at around nine in the evening. We were all aching and whining as we showered and collapsed on our bunks. We were also missing our girls too much to lose consciousness until after we talked to them.

I picked up my phone, selecting Bella's number in my contacts list. I waited with half open eyes for her to answer. The phone only rang twice before a weak and exhausted sounding Bella answered.

"Hey beautiful, how are you hanging in there?"

She sighed, "Ah, it's so good to hear your voice. I kept myself awake just to hear that voice. I'm so tired. I was not built for staying up twenty four hours!"

I chuckled, "I might not have been up quite that long, but after the stuff we did today, I feel like I've been up twice that long."

"They working you hard, baby?"

"Only if running fifteen miles, three obstacle courses, a SWAT shooting range, and sitting through four classes since arriving yesterday is hard."

I heard her whistle on the other side of the phone. "Alright, no more complaining from me. I might have been on my feet and busy, but nothing like that. You better go get some sleep."

"Wait, I wanted to check first, how are things with the guard detail? Everything going okay?"

She sighed, "Yes, Edward, everything is fine. Don't worry so much and concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing okay? For me?"

I smiled, "Okay, love…but just for you."

She giggled on the other end of the line.

The sound made my heart grow warm and forced out the feeling of my tired screaming muscles. "I love you, Bella. Go to sleep now."

I heard her yawn. "MMkay, I will. I slept in the guest room we stayed in yesterday and that's where I ended up just now. It still smells like you and it seems to help."

Hearing her say that reminded me, I reached over to pull her pillowcase from my luggage and held it up to me, breathing deeply with a sigh.

"Sounds like a good idea. I just pulled out your pillowcase. Maybe it will help me too."

"Hmmm…night, looooove."

"Sweet Dreams."

I slid the pillow-case over my pillow and buried my face in it, relishing Bella's scent that permeated the soft cotton fabric. I felt myself relax and fall into a deep sleep almost immediately.

By the end of Monday, we had once again ran over five miles, endured what seemed like hundreds of push ups and sit ups, and spent some new team bonding time together. We sorted our way through a maze lined with targets and innocents to hone our marksmanship skills in an even more complex setting and get used to covering our own AORs (Area of Responsibility). Finally, we wrapped up our day by sitting through several more classes on tactical decision making, running various simulations of mission scenarios.

We were very well trained and had already encountered most of the scenarios first hand. It was a bit boring with the recap, except for two scenarios we hadn't had as much experience with and felt like we needed the brush up. We even requested Sergeant Grayson give us more focus on those areas, since they were where we were most lacking…hostage negotiation, infiltration, and blind insertions.

We had, of course, been part of hostage situations before, but the Chicago PD already had a dedicated hostage negotiation team who were always called on scene in such an event, thus we only obtained basic hostage situation training. None of us liked this fact though, considering all we face in the field, there's always the potential for it to heat up without the negotiator. We could potentially diffuse the situation without fire. The proper training would most definitely increase our chances of success in such a situation.

Sergeant Grayson seemed quite pleased at our enthusiasm and interest to learn more. He promised to look at our scores and see if there were some places where he could adjust the program to fit our requests. Before we were released to our quarters, we were given the great news that Tuesday evening after classes, we would be given a night pass to enjoy the local night-life and get a break. As we walked back to the barracks, we all agreed that Sergeant Grayson's opinion of us was definitely improving.

As soon as we were showered and ready for bed, we were all once again on the phone with our ladies. The phone rang four times before I was met with silence for a few seconds followed by loud music in my earpiece.

"Hello? Bella?" I yelled into the phone getting funny looks until Emmett and Jasper began yelling similar things to Alice and Rose.

From the earpiece I heard the most beautiful laughter before Bella's voice began to sing to me through my phone.

_I miss the sound of your voice_

_And I miss the rush of your skin_

_And I miss the still of the silence_

_As you breathe out and I breathe in_

_If I could walk on water_

_If I could tell you what's next_

_Make you believe_

_Make you forget_

_So come on, get higher, loosen my lips_

_Faith and desire and the swing of your hips_

_Just pull me down hard and drown me in love_

I closed my eyes, relishing in the sound of my Bella's voice singing to me. I could only think that I agreed, although once she reached the chorus and started singing about the swing of hips and pulling her down hard and drowning her in love, I found myself with a problem. Thankfully, I was by the wall and could turn away from the rest of the group to disguise my prevalent problem.

I listened intently, drinking in every word as Bella sang the lyrics of Matt Nathanson's _Come On Get Higher, _which was yet another song on her playlist...one of the ones that made me especially hot around the collar when I read the list. She later admitted it was her most recent addition since we had started making out, and was one of her most played songs on the list.

Once she finished, I praised her. She giggled, picking up the phone and taking it off of speaker mode. The sounds of the room disappeared from the other line. I was relieved to get a chance to hear her speak to me, now that she had serenaded me into a massive hard on.

"Well, what did you think?" she asked a bit breathlessly.

"Beautiful Bella, you sang beautifully."

"So, do you think we're going to give you guys a run for your money with the Rock Band thing?"

"That was you guys doing Rock Band? What level were you on?"

"Expert, of course! You wouldn't believe it. Alice is amazing on guitar…you can barely see her hands moving sometimes she's so good, and Rose…holy crap…Rose beats the hell out of those drums and kicks ass doing it! They're both amazing. Krista offered to do the bass guitar and she's really good too, although she's still on hard, but thinks she'll be able to kick up to expert soon. They all make me feel talentless, that's for sure. When I try to play the instruments, I do really good on medium, but can barely keep from failing out on hard, and you can just forget me doing expert! I guess I'm just the voice."

"Oh, but the voice is what most people pay attention to, love. It sounded really good. You have a great range; I never knew you could hit those lower brassy notes so well."

Bella giggled and we talked a bit longer. I told her about our free evening the next night and my suspicions that it wasn't quite what it seemed. It was so hard to end the conversation, but I knew I had an early morning wake up call. With much annoyance, I finally ended our call and fell into a fitful night's sleep.

Tuesday morning we were up and ready in formation in six minutes flat. Unfortunately, running was part of the program regardless, but we were beginning to grow used to the morning burn in our legs. True to his promise, Grayson rearranged the day's schedule. We focused the whole day on learning about and practicing blind target insertions. These missions were more or less situations where you go in with no intel and no visual confirmation of the location and nature of your targets.

We learned all about technologies used to help provide intel. Working in two man teams, we learned how to covertly deploy hidden camera and listening devices for surveillance in enclosed simulated spaces like air conditioning ducts and dropped ceilings. There were dedicated teams doing this in Chicago, but we liked gaining the new knowledge just in case a day came when we would need it.

The latter part of the day was focused on finding entry points and making it through blind scenarios where surveillance devices are useless or could not be deployed. It was exciting work, as we entered rooms, not knowing what we would encounter. For the first time during our training camp, I was feeling glad to have the chance to expand my skills. Bella was safely guarded and so far there had been no signs of Trager at all. She was right; this was where I needed to be.

We finished our training early on Tuesday with congratulatory pats on the back from Grayson. We were released to our quarters to get cleaned up for our night leave by 4pm and were out the gates and on our way to the nearest town by 5. We called our girls before finding a steakhouse, indulging in a hearty sit down meal. Once we were completely stuffed full of red meat and potatoes, we made our way over to a local bar just a block down.

We all found a table, settling in with a beer, watching as the place began to crowd. I was looking around taking in the locals, wondering mindlessly what their stories were and wishing Bella was here, when I suddenly felt my beeper buzzing on my hip. I pulled it out and looked at it, noticing the rest of the guys did the same.

We all read the alphanumeric screens indicating we were being 'called out." As I suspected, tonight was more practice. We got up, tossing bills on the table and rushing out, but just before the door closed, I noticed the profiles of two people across the room that I thought I recognized. I shook my head knowing that was not possible before rushing out behind the guys into the cold Minnesota night.

We sped to the complex to find Sergeant Grayson waiting by the barracks with a scowl. Our gear was spread out on a bench, ready for us to put on. As we walked up, he began speaking in a rushed loud voice.

"Not pathetic, but I still expected better for you. Here's the mission at hand. You are going in on a night insertion into a blind target. The only thing we know for sure is there is a single perp and several hostages. Your mission is to survey the scene, gain as much intel as you can without being made, and then use said intel to resolve the situation. This is a timed drill. Proceed to the north training building. You will receive more intel from the on scene officers."

With that, he turned and walked away as we rushed to continue strapping on our arms. We worked as a team, making our way toward the north building while maintaining formation and covering our AORs. We reached the building quickly, working seamlessly to form a strategy. Dan and I worked together to shimmy through the ventilation shafts to place a small optical camera for video surveillance. Meanwhile, Jasper and Ben reconnoitered the outer perimeter, looking for alternative routes into the building. Within fifteen minutes, we had gathered the needed intel and proceeded with our raid, capturing the perp and saving the hostages.

Once we were finished, we returned to the barracks around midnight, collapsing in our bunks. Almost immediately, I heard the sounds of snoring all around me, but my mind was too busy processing the evening and the profile I had seen in the bar. I hadn't seen that face in many, many years, but I was almost sure. It was like torture not knowing for sure. After laying there for at least an hour wondering over the many possibilities, I finally fell asleep.

Wednesday we weren't awakened at the crack of dawn like we had been all week long, but rather with the smell of breakfast sometime around eight in the morning. I opened my eyes to see three uniformed soldiers march in carrying massive trays covered with delicious smelling breakfast meats, eggs, and juice. Behind them strode Grayson, a huge smile on his face.

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! In the five years I have been heading this training, I have yet to see a team complete such a complicated mission so quickly and efficiently. For this, you earned a never before experienced privilege here, the chance to sleep in a bit, breakfast in bed more or less, and a break from the typical run. You have half an hour to eat and muster before we continue today with hostage scenarios and negotiation."

After he left, we all eagerly converged on the trays of food, eating voraciously before dressing and falling into formation out front. Our day consisted of intensive training and scenario discussions about various hostage situations. We discussed the best methods of diffusing them, as well as learning about different personality traits and physical indicators that negotiators can utilize in discussions.

We had a fairly early night once again. This time, I wandered outside the barracks to talk to Bella in private.

"I miss you so much, love. I can't wait to see you again."

Bella giggled mischievously on the other end of the line before claiming to feel the same way. I wondered what she was up to, but I knew I wasn't going to get anything out of her tonight. We were both too tired for it. We talked for nearly an hour as I sat in the cold air of Minnesota, my breath whirling around me in clouds of white with every exhale. It was cold as fuck, but I wanted time alone with my Bella, one way or another.

Before we got off the phone, she informed me that she was working a double from Thursday morning through to Friday morning and so we wouldn't be able to talk tomorrow night. I asked why she had to do another double and she explained it was another one of Alice's crazy schemes. I chuckled, wondering what on earth Alice was up to now, but then brushed it aside as I felt the disappointment at not getting to hear Bella the next night. After returning to my bunk, sleep came quickly once I finally stopped shivering.

Thursday started with a typical Camp Ripley morning of P.T. and training all day long, but that night we were once again treated to a night out. This time, we were all prepared for the most certain impending call out. All I could hope is that it wouldn't come any earlier than the night before. I was desperate to get back to the bar and see if the familiar profiles were once again there.

We walked into the bar, making our way to the table where we settled in, slowly nursing our beers in case the call out we were expecting came. We sat for three hours before I saw one of the two faces walk through the door. My heart stopped in my chest. For a moment I forgot to breathe. The person froze too, looking just as baffled as I was before a wide grin spread across their face. They rushed in front of me as I felt the glare of the guys sitting around me.

"Edward?" she chirped excitedly.

"Tanya?"

I felt the pager buzz on my hip. I cursed out loud as I grabbed it off my belt, noticing the others doing the same. We all jumped up, rushing to get out the door as I apologized to Tanya.

"I would love to catch up, but I'm here for work and have to go now. I'm free again tomorrow night, could you be here again at the same time and we can talk?"

She beamed at me, "That would be wonderful!"

I looked at her apologetically, before rushing out behind the guys. As I climbed in the van, the silence was deafening, but we had to push past everything we had going on personally until after the training mission was over.

We reached the grounds in record time, dressing quickly. Grayson, seeming more pleased with our response, outlined our mission. It was tense and difficult, but we completed it in record time and made our way back to the barracks.

After I showered and made my way to my bunk to lie down, the room was silent. I could feel Jasper and Emmett's eyes on me, my mind was reeling. I wished more than anything that I could hear Bella's voice in that moment. I needed her to ground me, to comfort me, to help me remember who I am and what I stand for. I needed her more than ever.

I received the silent treatment all day as we went about the tasks given for our last day of training. We would be released from campus around eight that evening. Once released, we were heading back to town to grab hotel rooms for the next few nights before we moved on to the shootout house. After the extensive training we had received at Ripley, I honestly believed it would be redundant and in fact a step back, but a buddy of the chief's ran the place, so we had to go.

We packed our things away and loaded up. Once we were done thanking Grayson and the other instructors for the amazing things they had taught us, we found our way back into town. When ten o'clock rolled around, I walked alone down the street to the bar.

**BPOV**

Alice and I stumbled out of the hospital at ten on Friday morning. We were so exhausted that we both passed out on the car ride from the hospital to Hancock. We managed to wake up long enough to wash up, grab our packed bags and some lunch, and pile back into the car with Rose, Andy, and Jake. We were driving up to surprise our boys in Minnesota.

As soon as we hit the road, Alice and I were both dead to the world, sleeping through the entire ride with the exception of one dinner stop and a couple of bathroom breaks.

We pulled into the sleepy little town near Camp Ripley where the boys said they would be staying. I was instantly wide-awake. I looked out the windows excitedly as we drove down the lazy streets toward the tiny motel that we would be staying in for the next few days in order to spend time with our guys.

I was actually amazed Alice was willing to do this. Anything this tiny town had would be a massive step down from anywhere she usually stayed. As we drove up the streets, I jumped and yelled when I saw Edward's unmistakable bronze hair in front of a tiny bar seconds before he entered. I didn't see the rest of the guys with him, but I assumed they must already be inside.

I wanted to jump out to see him instantly, but the girls convinced me to ride to the hotel and get our rooms first, then we could surprise the boys. I rushed through the check in process, ran, throwing my bags on the bed and rushed down the street to where I knew Edward was waiting for me. I didn't wait for Rose and Alice, knowing they would spend half an hour getting fancied up first. I didn't want to wait. I didn't see Andy or Jake, so I just walked on my own since any threat was nine hours away.

I pulled open the bar door, rushing in and looking around for my love. My heart dropped to my feet and my vision blurred when I saw them. Edward, my Edward, in the arms of a tall strawberry blonde woman who was the epitome of beauty…even giving Rose a run for her money.

I saw her run her hands through his hair and pull his mouth to hers, wrapping her body around his, and swiping her tongue over his lips. I gasped, my stomach boiling as I turned and ran out of the room to heave in the street. I looked up and down the street, feeling dizzy and broken, as I struggled to figure out what to do. My options were to go back in and confront them, or get the hell away as fast as possible.

I dry heaved again into the road as my heart clenched painfully, helping me make my decision. I ran back to the hotel, bumping into Rose on the way to my door. I gasped for air between my sobs and the physical exertion.

"Bella? Bella what's wrong?" Rose demanded, grabbing my arms before pulling me into a soothing hug.

Alice appeared beside her, looking upset. She helped Rose pull me into my room, running her hand over my back.

"Breathe Bella, breathe."

I settled my breath as much as I could as she sat next to me.

"Tell us what happened, sweetheart."

The vision of my Edward…no not my Edward, never my Edward...that had to be Slutward…but Slutward was my Edward. Oh God, Edward…why? The visions of him in the arms of that woman, her hands in his hair, her lips on his lips, it broke me. I sobbed and waited again before choking out. "E…E…E…Edward, blonde slut…k…k…kissing."

I broke into more hysterical sobs when I heard a thundering voice outside my door. "MOTHERFUCKER! That fucking motherfucker is going to die!"

"Emmett, Emmett, you have to calm down, man. We'll go get to the bottom of this, but you can't go like this, you have to calm down first."

"I WILL NOT calm down. I repeatedly warned the motherfucker when he got involved with her. I knew I should have listened to my instincts! Fuck!"

I bawled even harder as I heard their voices disappear down the street. I was sure they were headed toward the bar.

Rose and Alice helped me lay down, bringing a cool rag for my face. They asked me if I needed anything. I asked for a pain pill for the headache and some water before asking to be left alone. I sat on the bed and cried, my heart shattered all around me. I didn't know why I should be surprised though…they all cheat on me…it's just the story of my life.

**EPOV**

I stepped into the bar to see Tanya sitting at a table in the corner. She stood up, smiling brightly at me, a million memories flooded my mind. Tanya was one of my oldest friends. We met in kindergarten when my life was still happy, before my Dad died and it all turned to shit, before I closed myself off to the world. Tanya knew the 'me' I was finally starting to become again. It was so good to see her. I owed her a whole hat full of apologies.

"Tanya," I smiled, walking up to her and readily accepting the hug she gave me. "I haven't seen you since we graduated. What brings you to Minnesota?"

She cast a sad smile down at her hand, rubbing her left ring finger forlornly. "I got married a few years back to a man who ended up getting a job around here. I moved up here to be with him. We recently got divorced, but I don't have the money to move home."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's a shame."

She cast me a look from under her eyelashes that unnerved me a bit. I pushed my unease away to ask what I needed to ask and apologize, as I had wanted to do for so many years.

"Tanya, I want to start out by saying I'm sorry for the way I treated you all of those years ago. You were my best friend and when my Dad died, I just totally cut you out. I know that hurt you…and then in high school I tried to treat you like every other girl. I'm sorry for that. I'm so glad you turned me down because I would feel awful if I had made you just another notch in my bedpost. You've always been a great girl who deserves so much better than that and I'm sorry."

Tanya jumped up with tears in her eyes, pulling me to stand in front of her as she hugged herself tightly to my body. "Thank you, Edward. You don't know how much that means to me to hear you apologize and to hear the way you feel about me. I feel the same way. I always have. You were my first love, Edward, and now you've come back!"

I sucked in a deep breath and tensed under her embrace. She had gotten the totally wrong idea! Fuck! I opened my mouth to correct her when she looked up at me.

"Please take me back to Chicago and let me move in with you. I'll make you so happy. Take me away from this awful place!"

Instantly her hands ran through my hair and she was assaulting my mouth with hers. I just stood there, not returning the kiss, in a bit of shock at everything that transpired over the past fifteen seconds, before I finally reached up to grab her hands out of my hair and pull her away.

"No, Tanya, I'm sorry, but that's not what I meant. I felt bad for the way I treated you, but I never had those feelings for you. You were always my friend…sort of like the sister I never had. I'm in love with someone else. I'm sorry if I somehow gave you the wrong impression."

She melted into her seat at the table, tears rolling down her face, while her shoulders shook with sobs. I reached a hand out to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry, Tanya. I made it worse instead of better, didn't I?"

She shook her head, wiping her tears away. "No, Edward, I'm sorry. It was so nice of you to come to say that, I just want so bad to be loved!" She sobbed again, falling against my chest.

I patted her back feeling really uncomfortable.

"I thought he loved me, but he didn't. It seems as though the only men I seem to be able to attract are lying cheaters."

I soothed her for a few minutes before I asked her the question that had been burning in my mind since Tuesday. "Tanya, I saw you here on Tuesday night with someone that I was almost sure was..."

"Your Mother!" She smiled widely at me and I felt myself tense again in shock. "She is married to some guy who owns a ski resort nearby. She comes down here to see me about once a week. We ran into each other at the store one day and have become friends again."

I couldn't breathe…my mother…here…and she never bothered to try to contact me or see if I was well? I felt like the room was closing in on me. Just about the time the room began to collapse around me, I heard the door slam before a strong hand picked me up, throwing me against the wall of the bar with a sickening crash. My head buckled the sheetrock behind me, and my ears began to ring.

"You Son of a Bitch! You didn't deserve her in the first place and then you do this to her?" Emmett screamed in my face, before punching me in the jaw.

I clenched my eyes at the pain before managing to mumble that I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Forget about your girlfriend, fuckface? You know the one who you crushed by kissing this slut! I knew the second she walked up to you the other night that you would hurt my sister! Now she's in her hotel room, crying, because of you!"

I heard Tanya scream as I felt another hard hit to my nose. I felt warm liquid gush before I was released from the wall. The rest of the guys pulled Emmett back as he fought to get to me again.

What? Bella was here? Oh God…Bella saw, and…oh fuck!

I could hear Tanya yelling as she bent down next to me to help me. "You've got it all wrong. It wasn't his fault. He apologized to me for how he treated me when we were kids. I took it all wrong and kissed him. He pulled me away and explained he was in love with someone else. He didn't cheat on her, I swear! Oh God, Edward, are you okay?"

I nodded hazily, my head began to buzz. The commotion around me became quieter and quieter until it all disappeared.

Everything was bright when I tried to open my eyes, but it was hard to do. When I finally got them open, I realized I was in a hospital. I could hear the frantic voices of my friends outside in the hallway.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Emmett bellowed.

I heard a nurse tell him he had to quiet down.

"We left her to rest for a little while. She said she needed to be left alone. When we went to check on her a little bit ago, she wasn't there. Her bags were gone too. She left a note." Rose babbled frantically.

"She didn't have a car, where could she have gone?"

"Chicago…."

I sat straight up in my bed, yelling for them to come into the room.

"What's wrong? Where's Bella?"

Rose looked at me with a mixture of annoyance and pity. "When we went to her room to check on her, she was gone, so was her luggage. She left a note saying she was taking a train back to Chicago on her own so that we could stay here with the guys. Classic Bella, worried she'd ruin our trip."

I shook my head with wide eyes. Bella…alone….on a train back to Chicago…no guards…no protection…and Trager out to get her. My worst nightmares were coming true. Suddenly the fact that my Mother was in the area didn't matter at all.

_Fuck that bitch. I needed to get to my Bella._

I ripped the IV out of my hand. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, looking all over for my clothes.

"Edward, you have to stay in bed. You haven't been released yet."

"So the fuck what? I have to get to Bella. I have to make sure she's safe. I have to tell her it was all a mistake. FUCK. MY. LIFE, how the hell did everything go to shit in an instant?" I screamed to myself more than anything else.

Someone tossed me my clothes. I threw them on, running as quickly as I could with the rest behind me. We piled into our two vehicles and sped our way back to Chicago.

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_**Lots O Drama…please don't kill me! I know some of you will be mad at me for busting them up and others for using such a cliché plot point, but it all feeds into a larger purpose that you will soon see. Just please trust me, I do nothing without a specific purpose and I don't pull these stunts just for the sake of adding drama. **_

_**Anyway, At least Edward wasn't the screw up it seemed like he was going to be. Now he just has to convince Bella of that. I'm looking forward to reading your impressions!**_


	20. Runaway Rollercoaster

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight characters.**

_**And thank you to those of you who reviewed that while they were uneasy with the path I had taken in the last chapter with the whole misunderstanding thing that they trusted me with Edward and Bella to pull us out of the cliche'd fanfiction bog and get back to the originality that drew them to FDKK to begin with. I promise you guys that if there wasn't a set purpose to all of this, I never would have taken us here, but there are implications that reach far beyond the surface.**_

_**I also think Bella's POV at the beginning of this chapter may shed some light into why she chose to run away instead of confronting them. No matter how confident and independent we are, we all have our insecurities and little cracks in our veneer that can cause us to react differently than maybe we would in other situations. No matter how grown up and confident we are, our past experiences and impressions often cloud our judgment. She's also going to make some extremely stupid decisions in her attempts to escape everything. Okay, enough justifying, I don't want to slip and give something away and ruin some of the future chapters by giving too much away.**_

_**This one is shorter than the last four or five have been, but there's a ton of drama packed into these paragraphs.**__**We also have a lot of shifting POV's and a new one we haven't seen before.**_

_**Thanks to my awesome, wonderful, fantastic, fabulous, gifted, awesome, hard working betas SassenachWench and Sihaya 9 and all of you awesome readers and reviewers out there! **_

_**This chapter is unedited :)**_

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**Runaway Rollercoaster**

**BPOV**

After Alice and Rose left me alone in my room, I tried to rest my eyes. Tried being the operative word, because every time I closed my eyes, I would see THEM in each other's arms, her mouth on his, and I would feel the knife slice deep in my chest all over again. It hurt so bad, it felt as though the breath was knocked completely out of me every single time it would replay in my mind's eye, I would start all over again with a fresh round of body shaking sobs.

After my third flashback, I was hit with the sudden need to get away, go back to Chicago, and be as far away from Edward Masen as humanly possible. I rolled over, clicking on the bedside lamp. I slammed open the drawer to find the phone book.

I opened to the page with the listing for Amtrak, dialing the number with a new determination. Thankfully, a train was scheduled to pass through town in half an hour. I would have to change lines in Minneapolis for an express train to Chicago. I was so relieved to find a train with minimal stops. If all went according to plan, I would be back home in eleven hours.

I wrote a note, letting everyone know I was catching a train home with my reservation details so they wouldn't worry and could enjoy the rest of their trip. I grabbed my bags, peeking out the door of the hotel, before sliding out as quietly as I could. I took a dark side street four blocks to the train station, being careful to avoid the main streets where the others might see me.

Without any commotion or drama, I stepped onto the tall silver Amtrak train and settled into a seat, resting my exhausted head on the headrest and staring at the dark countryside streaking by my window. I willed my eyes to stay open, not wanting to relive my heartbreak again.

I managed to stay awake until reaching Minneapolis, where I rushed to catch my connecting train, barely making it before the train pulled away from the station. I settled into a new seat, once again fighting my fluttering eyelids. Eventually, I lost the war.

As I had feared, my dreams gave me no refuge from my living nightmare.

_Everything transpired just as it had that night, except in my dream I stayed longer to see Edward push her back and lay her across the table, devouring her body with his mouth_. _I covered my mouth to keep in my cries, but he heard me anyway and turned to look at me, laughing. He stood up, pulling her up to his side, keeping her tightly wrapped in his arms and running his hand down her back to cup her ass cheek with a sneer. _

"_Don't worry about it, Bella, I found someone not quite so frigid to spend my time with. I mean, the blowjob was great, but who wants a blow when you can have a good ole' fashioned fuckfest? It was fun, but you're way too boring, and if I'm totally honest, you're plain as fuck. You don't know how much it killed me to have to constantly try to convince you that you were beautiful. It was fucking exhausting. You're just too much work, so I'm done. Sorry babe." _

_I felt my heart splinter and shatter in a forceful explosion in my chest. My lungs burned and my stomach acids boiled up my esophagus. I cried, running out the door to heave my last meal in the street._

I jerked awake, sobbing as I gasped for breath. It took a few seconds to realize I was on the train trying to get back home. I looked around self consciously to see that a couple of my fellow midnight passengers were watching me with strained expressions over their newspapers and cups of coffee. I looked away, out the window, hiding behind my wild tangled hair, feeling my face heat in my embarrassment and my eyes burn with the creation of more tears.

As I felt the cold round metal circle on my finger, my chest tightened painfully. I slowly slid the ring off of my finger, slipping it on my necklace for safe keeping. I didn't want to loose the precious heirloom, and yet not willing to wear the painful reminder on my finger of what wasn't mine a second longer. I would go to his apartment in a few days, get my things, and leave it on his dresser. Until then, I couldn't risk anything happening to it, however painful, it was a very valuable antique.

I dared not fall asleep again for the rest of the trip. I rested my head against the cold glass of the window, staring into the blackness beyond. I watched the pitch of the night slowly lighten to gray before an unhurried orange haze streaked the sky. It continued building in brightness until the bright yellow sun crested fully along the horizon, exposing the ever thickening urban sprawl as we flew closer and closer to the heart of Chicago.

The train pulled into Union Station at ten in the morning. I struggled to drag my suitcase off, my tired body bogged down by both physical and emotional exhaustion. I flagged down a cab, asking them to take me Hancock. I may have been heartbroken and exhausted, but I wasn't stupid. I was going to the safest place I knew; even if the only guards on duty were still in Minnesota with everyone else, there were still the Hancock guards to get past. I'd be fine.

The old gray haired security guard, Tony, smiled at me with a nod as I walked in, passing by him to the elevators. I made my way up to Alice's floor, leaving my bags in the entryway after I let myself in. Shuffling to the settee, I collapsed, unable to move my body even one inch further. My mind, no longer able to stay conscious, shut down, dropping me into a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep.

**TragerPOV**

I was in a bad fucking mood. How the fuck was I supposed to catch the bitch if she was never alone? I certainly wasn't going to be stupid enough to follow her to bumfuck Minnesota, where she would be surrounded by even more cops. No, I was staying in Chicago, working on a plan to get her alone.

I was actually considering going in disguise and cutting myself with my knife in order to get her to treat me. Then I could take her out in the ER, but that would be way too public and there was no way I'd make it out. No, I needed a better plan, to bide my time. I had plenty of safety nets…eventually one of them would provide an opportunity.

Just as I was thinking of the possible ways I could take her out, my phone rang. I picked it up with a frown. Tony, what the fuck could Tony tell me when she wasn't even in town?

"Tony, what can you do for me?"

He cleared his throat and I could hear the scowl in his voice. The man hated me, as he should.

"This clears the debt, Wingnut. My son is free and clear after I do you this solid, is that understood?"

"I don't believe you are really in the position to be making demands, old man."

He growled, "Listen fucker, if you're not going to forgive my son's gambling debts and let him be, then I have no further business with you. I want your word that this is done and that he will be safe."

I chuckled, these guys were so fucking easy to manipulate. "Fine Tony, you do me this solid and he's free and clear. You might want to tell him to find a good gambling treatment clinic, or else I might just end up calling for your services again in the future."

Tony sighed, before whimpering like a pansy ass. I was beginning to get inpatient when he ground out, "She's here. She just arrived; looking like someone killed her parents. She's alone, no guards, no friends, nobody."

I smiled so big it hurt my cheeks, finally something going my way. Maybe this day wasn't going to be as bad as I thought.

"Good work, Tony. Consider your son free and clear after you let me up to her floor. I want to go in the back way so that I'm not seen. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

I exited my apartment, practically running down to my car. I sped through the Chicago streets, parking a block away from Hancock.

**Tony POV**

Damn, I hated doing that. I liked Bella. She was a good kid, but my son is my son. I had to help him. I gave the intel to Wingnut and I would let him up. Once he was gone though, I knew I had to do something to help her.

Wingnut came sauntering in, looking cocky as hell. I led him through the back hallway to the service elevator. It moved much slower than the express the residents used, because it was a heavy-duty design with larger cables and motors to haul heavy furniture and equipment. It would buy me a bit more time.

The second the elevator left the floor, I ran to my desk. I picked up the phone, dialing the Brandon's apartment, but she didn't answer. My heart began to pound as I dialed again, and finally on the third time she answered.

"There isn't much time, Bella, this is Tony in lobby security. Trager is in the building. Do not open your door! Make sure all of the locks are secure and go hide in the back of the apartment. I'm calling the police right now."

I heard her terrified shriek before she choked out a thank you before hanging up. I was just picking up the receiver to call 911, when her brother and the rest of their friends including Miss Brandon, rushing through the doors. They ran directly to me, asking if I had seen Bella. I quickly explained she was here and that Trager was in the building. Edward, Emmett, and Jake all ran straight to the express elevator, while Jasper jumped over the desk. He pinned me to the wall, screaming in my face that I was a dead man.

I knew I deserved it. I told my pathetic tale through gasping strangled breaths. Jasper kept me pinned to the wall, while Miss Brandon begged him to release me.

**EPOV**

It was three in the morning when I woke up in the hospital. I was dizzy when I got up from the bed and dressed. Everyone followed me as I walked out the front door. I just needed to get to Bella.

As we talked I discovered Emmett had done a fine job of kicking my ass, breaking my nose, which was throbbing and making my eyes feel as though they were bulging out of my skull. He had also given me a bit of a concussion. I didn't give a shit, barely taking in the information. I asked them to tell me more about what the hell happened with Bella.

I thought I was going to puke all over the van when they told me about how excited she was to see me and she had noticed me walking into the bar. She rushed ahead of everyone to see me, only to walk in for the tiny fraction of time that passed between when Tanya hugged and kissed me and when I pulled away from her, explaining that I never had those feelings for her and was completely in love with Bella. Holy fuck, when I thought about what that had looked like, what she must have thought, how that would have made her feel, I began to get dizzy again. The torturous pain that stabbed in my chest was too much. Oh my poor Bella!

She ran back to the hotel in hysterical tears. The second she mentioned what she saw, Emmett went apeshit and left to go pound my ass, which he did quite effectively, not that I blamed him. I wanted to kick my own ass for even allowing the situation to get that far. Rose and Alice helped calm her down, got her pain meds and water, and at Bella's request left her to sleep.

Not too long after they left her, the call came in that I was being rushed to the hospital thanks to Emmett's beating. Alice left the hotel to join us, while Rose stayed in the room next to Bella's to wait. At some point, I guess Rose dozed off only to be awoken when Emmett called her from the hospital with an update on my condition. That was two in the morning. When she went next door, Bella didn't open the door. She hadn't given anyone else the key, so Rose went to the front desk, convincing the night duty clerk to let her in only to find Bella was gone and had left a note.

She apologized for ruining everyone's weekend, as if it was her fault, and explained she was catching the eleven o'clock train to Minneapolis where she was switching to an express to Chicago. The train was scheduled to arrive at ten in the morning. She promised to go straight to Alice's.

She had a four-hour head start, which meant she would be in Chicago in seven hours. If we followed the speed limit, we'd be two hours behind, but not a single one of us argued when Emmett suggested we push the engines as hard as we could manage.

We entered Chicago at ten on the dot, piling out of the vans in front of the building by ten thirty. We all ran in, shouting over one another at the security guard, asking if Bella had arrived, discovering to our horror that Trager was already here.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I felt like I could throw up as we waited what seemed like an eternity for the elevator to reach the top floor where Bella was, and Trager might be. I reached in my back pocket for my knife, opening it so I'd have some sort of weapon in case we met him in the hallway when the door opened. At the same time, Jake pulled out his nine millimeter, and Emmett flipped open his own blade.

We were halfway up when my phone rang. Jasper told us what he had gotten out of the guard. Even though we were behind him, he had sent Trager up the service elevator that took twice as long to reach the top floor than the express we had taken. With any luck, we would beat him to the floor, or at the very least, hopefully get there at the same time.

As the door opened, we sprinted down the hallway, keeping our eyes opened for Trager. We ran to the door of the apartment, knocking and yelling for Bella.

Emmett fumbled with the key in the knob. He got the knob and deadbolt unlocked, but when we went to open the door, the two security chains became taut between the door and the frame, not allowing us further entry.

Emmett leaned as far into the doorway as he could, yelling for Bella. He told her that we were here.

"E…E…Emmett?" We heard her screech from somewhere deep in the apartment. He yelled back that it was okay, we were here and she was safe.

I could hear her feet running to the door, then saw the door close almost all the way as the chains rattled. The door flew open to reveal Bella. She was paler than I had ever seen staring at us with wide, shocked eyes. She stood in the doorway brandishing a meat cleaver in her shaking hands.

"It's okay honey, we're here," Emmett soothed as he crossed the threshold, holding his hand out for the knife.

She let go and Emmett grabbed it, setting it on the counter behind him as she collapsed in his arms in loud sobs.

I turned to see Jake looking toward the end of the hallway, eyes narrowed. We both followed Emmett and Bella into the apartment, securing the doors behind us.

**Trager POV**

The fucking elevator was slower than shit. It took a good fifteen minutes to get to the top of the monstrosity they call a building. After the doors opened once I reached the floor I needed, my smile died. I was about to round the corner at the end of the hall, when I heard deep male voices yelling the bitch's name.

I peeked around the corner to see the brother, the other cop, and the bodyguard all standing there, yelling through a crack in the door. I felt the anger boil in my veins as I watched my best shot disintegrate in front of my eyes.

Tony was a dead man. She wasn't alone. Not only that, but the rest of the fuckers who had been gone all week were back too. Fucker thought he was so smart, trying to set a trap. Well, he was going to see just how smart he really was when he buried his son, who would be found tomorrow in a random alley overdosed on heroin.

I chanced another glance, shooting back around the corner and directly into the stairwell when the tall bodyguard nearly spotted me. I ran down several flights of stairs before emerging on another floor. I took an elevator down to the third floor, where I got back on the stairs to the first floor where I wandered around the service halls until I found a door that opened to the street, disappearing into the crowd.

Another chance would come around soon…it just had to.

**EmPOV**

I held my baby sister in my arms while she shook violently, still in shock from everything that had happened over the last twelve or so hours. I glared over at Edward. I knew now that it was all a huge misunderstanding, but it still didn't change me feeling like every bit of this mess was 100% his fault.

He looked over at Bella, pain etching his face and swelling in his eyes. He knew exactly where the blame for all of this really lay.

I slowly led her over to the long couch thing. I sat down, pulling her to snuggle into my side as her wide frightened eyes appeared to look straight through me.

"Is…is he gone? Did you see him?" She whispered in a shaky voice.

"Who, sweetheart?"

She looked up at me and growled. I was relieved to see the life spring back into her eyes.

"Don't pull that with me! You know exactly who I'm talking about. Tony called up and warned me Trager was in the building. I'm not sure how or why he got past him, but he told me to bolt the door and the chains and hide in the back of the apartment while he called the police. When I heard the door, I just knew it was him," her voice began to shake.

The tremble in her limbs resumed again, "I bit my hand. trying not to scream." She showed me her hand with the deep imprints of her full set of teeth, front to back.

She stopped, pulling in a ragged breath, "Then I heard your voice calling for me. At first I thought I was dreaming because I knew you were in Minnesota. Then you answered me, and I felt so relieved, rushing out to let you in. You must have beaten him up here."

She stopped and looked up at me in confusion, "Why are you here, Emmett? You guys are all supposed to be in Minnesota."

I couldn't help but scoff, "Yeah, Bella, we're really going to let you run off to Chicago where a henchman for the mob is trying to get his hands on you while heartbroken and hurting, and not go after you. Sure, baby, and I'm a billionair…and there are pigs flying around outside on wings of angels."

I pulled her close as she began to bawl again, burying her face in my chest. "I'm so sorry," She babbled through her sobs.

"Why did you leave, sweetie? You should have stayed."

She gasped in a gulp of air, before she mumbled into my shirt, "I…I couldn't stay. It hurt too much."

Edward stepped forward to run his hand down her arm. He started to say something when she wrenched her arm out of his grasp, growling with more energy than I had seen yet since our arrival,

"Don't you touch me Edward! Never again!"

"Bella…PLEASE," Edward begged.

She shot him a look that could light a fire in an instant; Edward recoiled as though he had actually been burned by it.

"No! I don't need to hear your excuses! I know what I saw. Jesus, you're away from me for one measly week and you're already messing around on me? What the hell, Edward? Obviously we have two very different views of what it means to love someone! I, for one, will not put up with yours!"

"Bella, you don't understand…it really wasn't what it looked like!" Edward looked desperate and on the verge of tears himself.

Bella jumped up off the couch, stepping toe to toe with him.

"Boy that sounds familiar, Edward. Hmm…I seem to remember you saying that about a certain slutty blonde nurse I caught you groping in the doctor's lounge. Oh, but I guess since the slut in Minnesota was blonde then it didn't feel as wrong, right? That's why you always screwed the blondes after all, because they didn't remind you of me. I'm tired of the lines and the excuses, Edward. I just can't do this!"

She ripped something from around her neck and threw it at his chest before spinning on her heels, beginning to march down the hallway.

I looked back to see Edward fall on his knees grabbing his stomach as though someone had just performed Hari Kari on him. His other hand reached out to pick up the necklace off the floor. I saw the diamond heart ring in his hand.

I rolled my eyes, knowing if I didn't step in that they would both be hurting a lot longer than necessary. Besides, I owed him for kicking his ass for no reason.

"Wait, Bells."

She froze mid step, turning to look at me, tears streaking her pink cheeks.

"Hold on sec. He's not lying. Do you honestly think I'd be standing in the same room with the asshole if he were?"

Bella's eyes widened, deep lines forming between her brows as she looked at me in a long silence. Then her eyes shot over to see Edward, still on his knees, looking up at her with his own tear streaked face. Her face softened a bit, but she was still confused.

"Come sit back down honey, this is going to take a while."

She walked over to me, sitting mechanically down next to me. I took her hands, as Edward watched with desperation in his eyes.

"When I heard your story, I stormed down and walked in to see them sitting at a table on the far side of the room talking. They weren't even touching Bells, but the conversation looked serious. I was in a rage, though. I walked straight over, picked him up by the neck, and slammed him into the wall, punching him a couple of times for good measure. When he tried to explain, I popped him again in the nose. That's when the girl came up screaming behind me that I had it all wrong."

Bella shook her head in confusion, trying to reconcile what she had witnessed with how it could possibly be wrong. She looked over at Edward and then back to me.

I told her the story about how Edward had apologized to the blonde and she had taken it wrong and kissed him, but he pulled away and told her he was in love with Bella.

Tears filled her eyes again as she looked back at Edward and then to me to confirm that it was true.

I nodded my head. "You just caught the really, really wrong moment sweetie. If you had stayed a second or two longer, you would have seen him pull her way and turn her down. I know what you saw appeared to be really damning, but I believed her Bells. I guess she was an old friend that he knew from his childhood, before his Dad died. Anyway, they were really close, but grew apart when Edward shut down. Not only that, she told him that his mother is living near where we were in Minnesota."

Bella's eyes grew big as saucers. Before I could blink, she was kneeling on the floor in front of Edward, running her hands through his hair. She told him she was sorry, asking if he was okay.

He began to break down again, grabbing her and hugging her to his chest, as he began to whisper to her so low I couldn't hear.

In that moment, I saw all I ever needed to see. Edward needed Bella and Bella needed Edward. She was the one person he could really, truly be himself with. He could tell her all the things he kept bottled up inside. They completed each other in a way that nobody else could do for them. It was then that I knew, I would never have to worry about Edward hurting my sister on purpose ever again.

I looked up at Jake, nodding toward the door. We left them to have a private moment to discuss all the shit that had gone down in the last few days. Who would have thought yesterday morning that we would be here now? Life is so insane sometimes.

Jake and I split up. I took the stairs and Jake took the service elevator. We checked along the way to see if there were any signs of Trager, but it seemed he was gone.

**BPOV**

To say that the last twenty-four hours had been a roller coaster ride would be the biggest understatement in the history of the planet earth. I had gone from excited to see the man I loved, to heartbroken, to terrified for my life, to shocked at being saved by my brother and said boyfriend, to pissed as hell and out for blood, and finally settling on apologetic and hurting for my Edward.

I still had a hard time grasping the fact that what I had seen in the bar, which had seemed so straightforward at the time, had been so terribly wrong. Edward didn't make the pass and he didn't allow the blonde to make her move either. In fact, he told her he was in love with me. If only I had stayed a few more seconds, if only I had confronted them instead of running like I always seem to do when I'm hurting, I could have saved us all so much pain and drama.

I was still reluctant to believe the story, but the proof was irrefutable. Emmett was not only in the same room with Edward without breaking every bone in his body, but he was telling me the whole story, actually encouraging me to believe it. I was just beginning to grasp that fact when Emmett said that the slut had told Edward that his mother was living in Minnesota. Suddenly I didn't feel the hurt or anger anymore, all I could feel was pain and worry for Edward. My poor Edward was a crying broken heap on the floor. I knew he needed me.

Before my mind actually made the decision, my body had reacted. I was on my knees in front of him, running my hands through his hair, whispering words of apology and comfort.

Edward's watery eyes looked up at me, and suddenly a switch flipped behind the green irises from hopelessness to relief. He reached forward and crushed me into his chest with his arms, sobbing into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing back with all my might.

After a moment, he sat back, caressing my face with his hands as he told me all about what happened. He kept saying over and over how sorry he was that I saw that moment, but never for one second had he even considered taking his long lost friend up on her offer.

He explained their childhood, their closeness, and then how he had pushed her away when his father died. He went on to tell me how years later, when they were in high school, he had tried to bed her like all the rest of the female population, only to be refuted.

He told me about glimpsing her and his mother's profiles' the first night they visited the bar, right after they got the call out orders from camp. He explained how he had hoped on Thursday to see her again to know for sure, how the possibility of his mother being there had haunted his thoughts the rest of the week. Then they caught sight of each other Thursday, just as they were being called out for the second time. He had felt a desperate need to both apologize, and ask about his mother, so he asked to meet her there at the same time Friday night.

He held it together though all of that, until he started telling me about his conversation, her reactions, and finally how he felt when he knew that his mother was living nine hours away from Chicago for quite some time, now happily married to a rich man who owned a resort on a nearby mountain.

I pulled him close again, soothing his sobs as he lamented over the fact that his own mother didn't care. She hadn't even bothered to contact him, to see if he was alive and well, to know anything about him. In that moment, he wasn't the twenty-seven year old seasoned SWAT officer, but instead he was the heartbroken ten year old boy she abandoned with her sister and brother-in-law when he needed his mother's love the most. He sobbed as he released seventeen years of pent up anguish and pain at the rejection of his mother. At that point, I would have given my eyeteeth to be able to take a bat to her skull for ever hurting her son so badly.

At some point early in our conversation, Emmett and Jake left. Since then, nobody had returned to the apartment. I lost all track of time, eventually encouraging Edward to move to the couch. I had him lay down with me, cuddling his head to my chest, while he continued to talk about all the things he was feeling.

Eventually, our conversation evolved away from the pain to how he had felt being away from me, how he had missed my touch, and how every night he dreamed of being back in my embrace. What really broke my heart though was how scared he said was when he heard I had left alone.

The entire time we talked, he fiddled with the ring I had so stupidly thrown at him in my rage earlier in the morning. The sadness in his eyes was heartbreaking.

"Bella? I understand why you took this off and threw it at me, but now that we've talked things through, would you be willing to accept it again? Please? It doesn't belong to me anymore anyway. It's yours, forever."

I sucked in a ragged breath and nodded.

He smiled up at me, lifting my right hand, sliding the ring back onto my finger where it belonged. The metal that had felt so cold and painful on my finger just a few hours before, now felt warm and comforting.

He picked up my hand and kissed just above the ring.

"Please don't ever take it off again, Love. This is where it belongs."

I nodded, leaning forward to kiss him. We lay there with our eyes closed, our foreheads touching, for a long time before I opened my eyes, looking at his face.

I reached a hand out, tenderly probing his swollen, bruised nose and cheeks.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Emmett really did a number on you didn't he? Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?"

He shook his head, pulling me closer to his side. "I have all I need right here."

My heart swelled as I ran my fingers comfortingly through his hair.

After a while, I asked what all happened and what the doctors said at the hospital. I nearly smacked him when I found out that he had left the hospital with a possible concussion without being officially released. I didn't though, I was glad he was in my arms. I also knew that if he was still awake and coherent at this point with so little sleep, then he was going to be okay.

Eventually, he shifted back down to rest his head on my chest, commenting on how soothing my heartbeat was. Moments later, his breathing leveled out, his arms and head growing heavy on my frame.

I guess I joined him soon after, because at some point I found myself opening my eyes to the sound of people milling around the apartment. I looked up, meeting gazes with Emmett, who smiled and walked back to the bedrooms.

A few moments later, Rose and Alice came into the room. They caressed my forehead, whispering apologies for not paying closer attention the night before.

I shook my head and whispered that I was the one who owed them all apologies.

Soon everyone cleared out, I assumed to collapse into their own beds and get some rest. I fell back to sleep still, clutching my Edward to my chest as his grip tightened around my waist.


	21. Decoys and Deprecation

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the original Twilight characters nor any of the songs mentioned and quoted in this chapter.**

_**Author's Note: **__**This chapter is very fluffy and full of music.**__**I have two youtube playlists now. One is EAM and the other is BB (Edward's playlist). I sort of bop between the two of them in this chapter, so you might want to have two screens up with one on each if you want to listen along. We're back to fluff again and I finally got a chance to give a bit more insight into Bella's reaction in a more detailed way…maybe. Some of you guys have had a really hard time accepting how she reacted to what she saw of Edward; maybe this will shed more light. Anyway, I hope you like it.**_

**BELLA'S EAM IPOD PLAYLIST**

www . youtube . com/view_play_list?p=F91687454A4F304E

**EDWARD'S BB IPOD PLAYLIST**

www . youtube . com/view_play_list?p=9541DC7E94D9A6BD

As always, big thanks to my gal Friday Sihaya 9! You are awesome!

* * *

**Decoys and Deprecation**

**EPOV**

My eyes fluttered open, feeling swollen and sticky. I was confused at first, not sure where I was or how I got there. Then I was hit with the heavenly scent of strawberry, freesia, and Bella. I smiled when I realized the comfortable pillow I was resting on, was in fact my beautiful Bella.

I looked up to see her serene face. I couldn't help but be so fucking grateful to Emmett for making her stop to hear the truth. The fire in her eyes, the hurt and the anger stabbed through my soul, threatening to burn me from the inside out.

I had noticed almost immediately that my ring wasn't on her finger and panicked until I saw it glint around her neck as Emmett held her on the couch. I felt a momentary sense of relief that she had at least kept it close. I mean, I couldn't blame her for not wanting to wear it with what she believed had happened, but she still kept it on her body. I had to hope that meant something.

That hope shattered when she rose, crossing the room to stand toe to toe with me. She threw my own words in my face, as though they were some kind of convoluted rationale to cheat on her, which I would never be able to stand to do, before ripping my ring from around her neck, throwing it at me, and turning to walk away. It was my worst nightmare come true, the whole reason why I never put myself out there, because my love was always thrown back in my face in the end. But once again, if I had truly done what she believed, I would have deserved it. She never would have done what she did without provocation. I just knew she wouldn't.

Knowing it was all due to a misunderstanding, that I was losing everything that meant anything at all to me in that instant due to bad timing and a web of what, in retrospect, were probably poor choices, washed me in a tidal wave of overwhelming pain that brought me to my knees. I wrapped one arm around my stomach to try to hold myself together as I reached my other hand out to grab the symbol of my heart and my love that had been tossed at me, all while trying to figure out if there was ever any way I would survive this without her. The simple answer was I wouldn't. Well, I would survive, but my heart would never be the same.

Then Emmett, God bless him, spoke up and made Bella stay and listen as he explained the whole situation. I wished I could explain it myself, but words were lost to me as I sat there feeling as though I had hit rock bottom. I found myself praying desperately that Emmett would get through, that somehow, someway, it would all turn out okay in the end.

I barely registered the motion as instantly Bella appeared, kneeling in front of me with tears streaming down her face as she apologized to me. There were no words, no actions, nothing in the world available to convey my relief, so I did the only thing I knew how, I pulled her to my chest and held her as tightly as I could without hurting her. I cried for all the pain the two of us had endured over the last few days. I cried for the mother who abandoned me, the father who died and left me behind, the friends and family who have been there for me and yet I always held at a bit of a distance, and for the amazing girl who changed my entire world and brought me back to life.

I lay on the couch next to Bella, watching the ring symbolizing my devotion to her, glinting on her right ring finger from where it rested by her face, on the arm of the couch. I thanked God for this angel who was slowly healing me and my long fractured heart.

I looked around the room for the clock on a far wall, seeing that it was after four in the afternoon. We had slept much of the day away. I slid carefully off the couch, hoping not to wake her and feeling the loss of her warmth the second I stepped away.

I carefully lifted her into my arms, carrying her to the bedroom she had been sleeping in while staying with Alice. I pulled the covers back and settled her between the sheets, tucking her back in carefully. I grabbed a sheet of paper on the bedside table, scribbling a quick note telling her I had an errand to run, but I would be back soon and that I loved her more than life itself. Placing it on the pillow beside her, I stood in the doorway and watched as she curled up in the sheets. I sighed before closing the door and creeping as quietly as possible out of the apartment.

I stepped into the hallway to find an exhausted looking Jake standing sentry by the door. I stood in front of him, looking up at his weary face and held out my hand to him. He looked at me in confusion; his gaze flipping between my hand and my face before he slowly extended his hand to clasp mine, shaking firmly.

"I owe you an apology, Jake. I misjudged you by things from the past. I, of all people, shouldn't have done that. Thank you for being with us and helping us keep Bella safe."

He nodded with a small smile. "Bella is a good person. I hope you remember that and don't let the happenings of today ever become anything more than a misunderstanding."

I wanted to be angry, but I understood what he was really saying. I nodded. "I fully intend for that to be the case. I do have one more question for you though, Jake. I'm working on a new plan; I have a few things to check first, but if things work out as I hope, do you think you could take on a special assignment to help me keep Bella safe for the next week or so?"

He looked at me apprehensively, "Depends on the assignment, I guess. What do you have in mind?"

I smiled and patted his shoulder. "Let me see if it's even possible first. I'll get back to you."

He nodded in reply with a small smile before turning back to his post by the apartment door.

I left for the elevators to start my errands. Pulling out my cell phone, I dialed my Uncle's cell phone as I walked.

"Edward?"

"Hi Uncle Carlisle, I was wondering, do you have some free time today? I really need to discuss something with you."

"Now is as good a time as any, son. What do you need?"

"Are you at the office or at home?"

"Home…" He sounded confused.

I chuckled a little, realizing why. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"What? Aren't you in Minnesota?"

"Nope…it's a really long story. I'll tell you when I get there."

I walked out, hailing a cab to my Aunt and Uncle's condo, crossing my fingers the whole way in hopes that he could help me. If I couldn't get this part sorted out, then the rest of my idea wouldn't work anyway.

I arrived at the condo to the enthusiastic and yet concerned greeting of my adoptive parents. They both freaked out over my bruised face and swollen nose. Uncle Carlisle insisted on examining me before we settled into the den for a long talk.

I explained everything, starting with the Femmes night out, Trager and his playing grab ass with my Bella. They grimaced as I detailed our taking care of him later when we saw him pulling something similar on another girl, announcing she was Em's sister and we were SWAT like a bunch of idiots. The later revelation of his mob ties, our trip to Minnesota while the girls were under guard, and what they referred to as house arrest were also met with mutual looks of worry. Uncle Carlisle had heard all of this before we left when I was trying to get time off for Bella to come with us, at that time it was all speculation, but I wanted Aunt Esme to be brought up to speed before I continued.

I went on to explain the week at camp, seeing Tanya and my 'mother' at the bar, the entire Tanya debacle and misunderstanding with Bella, earning groans from both parental figures. Tanya's revelation of Elizabeth's whereabouts resulted in a painful whimper from Aunt Esme. I felt bad for revealing such news without cushioning the blow, but I had bigger issues to worry about at the moment. They both gasped as I told them how Bella fled to Chicago by train and her near miss with Trager.

Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme grew quite pale when they heard how close Bella had been to danger. As I unfolded the long tale, Carlisle's eyes grew angrier at each new confirmation of the threat.

I asked if now that there was a legitimate threat to Bella's life, if she could manage to get a week long leave of absence. I really felt that I needed to keep her with me while I went back to Minnesota.

Uncle Carlisle made a few calls. To my great relief, he managed to get the time approved.

Once I knew my plan was feasible, I explained my thoughts. They both agreed that it sounded like the best alternative.

We sat and discussed the situation with Elizabeth. I explained my need to confront her and my gratefulness that I would now be able to have Bella with me. I knew I needed her for always, but especially now. I didn't think I could face that woman without her by my side.

They hugged me close, giving me their blessings for the remainder of my plans. Aunt Esme slipped a set of keys into my hands before waving me off.

My next stop was back at Alice's apartment. Bella was still sleeping, so I went in to find Emmett, Jasper and their girls. I pulled them into the living room and grabbed Jake from the hallway before explaining my idea. They were all pleased with the general concept. They wished that Alice and Rose could come along as well, but since there was only speculation that they were in danger, there was no valid excuse to grant Alice leave from the program. Rosalie was saving her vacation and refused to leave Alice alone.

Once things were settled with them, I went to wake my sleeping beauty. I took her and Jake to my apartment, where my maid, Melissa, would be waiting at my request. I had called her on my way back from the condo; she was more than willing to wait for our arrival.

As we entered, Jensen looked surprised and yet pleased to see Bella and I. He explained that all had been quiet. He was shocked to find that there had been a breech in Hancock security, assuring me that it would not be the case here with him in charge. I nodded, thanking him before leading Bella and Jake up to the top floor to my apartment.

Melissa looked uncomfortable as we walked in; still unaware of what was going on. Bella looked equally confused, smiling awkwardly at the unsettled employee. Melissa's eyes brightened when she recognized Bella from the pictures in the apartment and smiled, standing up to shake Bella's hand.

"It's so very nice to meet you, Miss Swan. My name is Melissa, but everybody calls me Mel. I've heard so much about you!"

Bella blushed sweetly, glancing over at me with a raised eyebrow. I simply smiled.

She turned back to Melissa with a bright smile. "It's nice to meet you too, Mel, please call me Bella. By the way, the lunch you made us Monday before last was amazing. I really hope you'll give me the recipe sometime."

Melissa beamed at Bella, thanking her for the compliment. I chuckled at their exchange while they fell into typical female banter as though they were long lost friends. As I watched them talk, I felt even more confident that my plan could work. Both Bella and Melissa had similar brownish hued hair; they were pretty much the same height and general build. Although Melissa had a tiny bit more weight on her, it wouldn't be noticeable in baggy clothes. I glanced over at Jake to see him watching the scene with a hint of amusement in his face as well, along with something else that annoyed me. I pushed it down, interrupting the conversation the ladies were sharing in order to discuss the real reason why I had everyone there.

"I have a proposition for all of you, but first, I must say that this could potentially cause a problem for Melissa."

I took some time to explain what our situation to Melissa, who sat pale and panic stricken, glancing over at Bella apologetically from time to time. Once I had the whole story out in the open, I set forth my overall concept, hoping everyone would agree and we could set it into action as soon as possible.

"So, here is my idea. Bella, I've already talked to Carlisle and he has arranged for you to have a week long leave of absence from the program without it impacting your internship. The board, after hearing the facts, deemed your life to be in jeopardy and that it was in your best interest to have the time to get away. I'm quite certain the decision had nothing to do with protecting their own interests as well," I mumbled with a heavy dose of sarcasm which made Bella chuckle.

I smiled at her and continued, "So, I was hoping you could come back to Minnesota with me tonight."

Bella looked up at me in surprise.

I smiled at her before looking back at Melissa and Jake.

"In the meantime, I was hoping that if I gave you a year's worth of salary on top of your regular earnings for the week, that you, Melissa, would stay here. Jake would be your personal, live-in bodyguard, in order to make it appear that Bella is still in town. Jake would take you to the grocery store and other random places while you wore baggy clothes, a baseball cap, and sunglasses. You look close enough in height and build that I believe it would be enough of a disguise to make Trager think Bella is still in town, and yet you would always be under protection 24/7. You would be welcome to utilize anything in the apartment you wish, except I ask that you do respect my rules regarding my bedroom and private bathroom. Only Bella and I are allowed entrance to those rooms."

Melissa looked shell shocked as she looked between me and Jake. I chanced a look at Jake who had a warm smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. It was then that I realized I had no reason to be upset over his look earlier. Not only that, I had a feeling he would happily volunteer for the job.

Melissa swallowed hard before she chanced a look over at Bella, who was looking at her with a hopeful expression. I saw Melissa's brow furrow, then she straightened her back, looking back to me with confidence.

"Bella deserves a break from all of this. I'll be protected at all times right?" She looked shyly over at Jake and he smiled broadly at her with a nod.

Bella reached over and touched Melissa's arm. "Thank you, Mel. I appreciate this more than you know…and you can trust Jake. He's been on my detail for a week now and I've known him a long time."

She glanced up at him from the corner of her eye with a sly smile. "He may have been a little prick in high school, but he's grown up to be an honorable man. He'll keep you safe."

Melissa looked at her, then back to Jake, and smiled with a slight blush. Oh yes, she was going to be a perfect Bella decoy.

I grabbed a duffel bag from my closet, packing a few extra clothes for me. Most of mine were still in the hotel in Minnesota. We had all been in such a rush that we hadn't even bothered going back for our things. Rose had called and arranged for the girls, Andy's, and Jake's things to be shipped back to Chicago UPS and to allow them to check out of those rooms over the phone. Alice and Rose had also packed more clothes for Bella in the suitcase she had brought back with her from Minnesota, arranging to have Andy pick it up and take it to his place across town.

After I was all packed up, Bella and I slipped down to the underground garage. Meanwhile, Melissa and Jake went for a decoy walk to Bella's apartment building to make it appear she was going back for more things. We slipped unnoticed into the garage grabbing my Volvo and slipping away.

We drove to Andy's and picked up Bella's suitcase before beginning the long nine hour drive back up to Minnesota. If all went according to plan, we would arrive around four in the morning. I figured then we would crash until early afternoon, going to search out Tanya again once we were awake and cleaned up. I hoped to find out how to contact Elizabeth.

As we made our way out of Chicago, I noticed that Bella seemed tense, looking around at all the cars and looking behind her frequently checking for followers. I couldn't blame her after what had happened this morning, I would be too.

While I hated to see her worried, I was glad to see she was becoming more aware of her environment. Even if you're not being pursued by a psychotic mob hitman, it's a good idea to be aware of what's around you at all times.

I kept a close eye on the rearview, pretty sure that we didn't have a tail. Once the urban landscape began to grow more and more sparse, I began to finally relax, feeling confident that we had actually pulled it off. I reached over and took Bella's hand, rubbing my thumb across the back soothingly. I glanced to see her smiling over at me, looking a tad more relaxed.

I pulled her hand up to kiss the back as I drove down the road and sighed. We had a long drive ahead of us and I figured that now was as good a time to talk as any. We had talked about lots of things before we fell asleep earlier today, but we still hadn't really addressed our relationship part of things quite so much.

I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand.

"Bella? Can we talk about what happened on Friday?"

Her hand tensed in mine as she sighed. "I'm sorry Edward; I know I didn't choose the best course of action. I just sort of panicked and freaked out. I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. "It's okay, love. The panicking and freaking out is normal and to be expected with what you thought you saw. You wouldn't be human if you didn't react that way. The thing that bothers me is the whole running away thing. I really need you to promise me that you won't do that again. No matter what happens, no matter what the situation is, promise me that you will come to me okay? I don't care if I'm going to be upset, or mad about the situation, or if it will rip my fucking heart out, I need to know that you will be honest and straightforward with me. Can you promise me that?"

I glanced away from the road to see her face illuminated by the light emanating from the digital radio display in the dashboard. She was nibbling on her bottom lip with her brows furrowed, looking so damn small and adorable. She nodded, promising me in a voice that was just above a whisper.

"I love you, my beautiful Bella. I know that I'm trying to outlive a long standing reputation when it comes to women and relationships, but I really hope you can learn to trust in me and trust in the fact that I love you. I have to admit that this whole situation is really frustrating, because I actually wasn't doing anything wrong and then all of this shit happened." I paused to run my hand through my hair with a sigh.

"I am fully aware of how lucky I am to have you and the fact that I would lose you forever if I ever fell back into my old patterns, which I have no intention of ever doing. I love you and I want only you. I hope someday you will learn to truly believe that and believe in me."

I leaned over the center console to kiss her temple as she leaned to meet me halfway, resting her head on my shoulder.

"I love you, Edward. I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I'm sorry that I ran instead of dealing with everything. When I saw you with her, I just had all of these flashes of you over the years, and you with Maggie in that damn doctor's lounge."

She sat back in her seat again, facing me while keeping my hand clutched tightly in hers.

"I just felt like my heart was shattering. It's so ironic, I can face a room full of bloody trauma patients and not flinch, I can call out any of the boys on their bullshit and pretty much hold my ground in any argument, but when it came to dealing with painful things with you, I've always run away."

She sighed, looking away from me, shifting her focus to our twined fingers. "I had lived in Chicago around you guys for not quite a year the first time I saw you making out with a girl."

I looked over with wide surprised eyes. I had never known she had seen me with anyone until the year we started going to the beach house.

She frowned, studying our hands even more intently as she spoke. "I had to go to the library after school that day. I was walking to catch the L and just happened across you two. You had her pinned against a wall with your hands on her thighs, pushing up her skirt and my heart just broke; I turned and ran away. I never said a word. About a year later, you started standing me up when we had plans. I assume you found a last minute _date,_ and like the chickenshit I was when it came to you, I never brought it up, afraid I might loose you altogether."

She paused with a sigh; her voice cracked a bit as she continued. "The first year at the beach house, we were having a big bonfire out on the beach. After a while, you disappeared. I came inside to use the restroom and…I…" she let out a big sigh and closed her eyes blushing deeply, "I heard you moaning in your room on my way to the bathroom, and then I heard the girl start screaming your name. Once again, I ran, crying my eyes out and hid like a little preschooler. Emmett found me out behind the shed two hours later, asking me what was wrong. I lied and said I just needed some time alone to watch the stars in peace."

I cringed, my fingers tightening on the steering wheel until my knuckles were blanched white. I was a young single guy with every right to have my fun at the time, and she wasn't much more than a teenage girl, but the thought of her hearing that was so unnerving.

"Ironic isn't it? Over the years, I eventually got over it all, I guess. I finally realized that my feelings for you were totally one sided. I made my peace with it, settling for what I could get. I realized that a part of having you in my life was having to watch you with those women. I slowly grew desensitized until you kissed me that day in Andy's hospital room. That pretty much sent me back to square one. I mean, yeah, I yelled at you when you were with Maggie, but less than a second later, I was out the door, in the elevator to run and hide again. Then after how close we had gotten, the things we had admitted to one another, when I saw Tanya kissing you, I felt like I was seventeen again, watching you grope the girl in the street. All of those same instincts kicked in."

"Really though, the truth is that I honestly don't know why you chose me. I mean, in a way I do. Intellectually I understand, sort of, I guess, but deep down inside, I will always be that overlooked teenage girl who always felt plain and unwanted. I know for a fact that I'm not as amazing as you make me out to be. I think you look at me with rose colored glasses."

She took a deep breath and sighed shaking her head from side to side slowly.

"Anyway, after I got back to the hotel room, I laid in that bed, trying to hide from the pain, but my brain wouldn't let me. All I kept feeling was that I hadn't run far enough. I didn't even stop to think that Trager might have followed us; all I could think was that I needed to get out of there, let the rest of the group enjoy their time together and get back to Hancock where I thought I'd be safe to mope in peace."

I had to fight to remember to keep my eyes on the road. The pain in her voice as she recounted her memories made my own heart ache.

"Then on the train ride home, I had this horrible nightmare that I stayed and watched as you pushed her onto the table, making out with her. When you noticed me, you laughed at me and said I was plain, and boring, and frigid. You said that you were sick of trying to always convince me I was beautiful and I was just too much work. Gotta love the subconscious and how it always smacks you in the face while you're sleeping, because that was pretty much every one of my deepest, darkest fears laid out in one nice neat little tear inducing package. A repeat of my worst relationship histories with the only guy I've ever truly loved."

Listening to her lay all of her feelings out like that, I found myself getting more and more saddened and frustrated. After she finished talking about her dream, I couldn't take it anymore. I hit the brakes, finding the closest exit just ahead, and swinging onto the shoulder of the onramp. I threw the car into park and turned to look a surprised Bella in the face. I cradled her face in my hands as I spoke.

"First of all, I love you because you are the most amazing person I've ever known. I think every day about how lucky I am to have you in my life."

I leaned forward, kissing her forehead as she closed her eyes with a hum, opening them again to listen as I continued.

"Secondly, you have NEVER been plain from what I have seen. You were sixteen the first time I met you, and I was immediately struck by how beautiful you were. I kept pushing it out of my mind because you were underage and I was a mess. You have to trust me though, Bella, you are so incredibly beautiful and it's not just rose colored glasses tinting my vision either."

I leaned in again to kiss her nose as she crinkled it adorably and nibbled on her bottom lip.

"Third…woman, after what you did to me last Friday night, nobody in their right fucking mind would EVER refer to you as frigid! That was beyond a doubt the hottest, sexiest, most amazing thing I have ever experienced, and as you like to point out, I have had a lot of experiences."

The smile that broke out on her face was radiant. I grazed my thumbs across the apple of her brightly blushing cheeks.

"Fourth, I'm so sorry that you saw and heard the things you did. It makes my stomach churn at the thought of you being hurt by all of that. Unfortunately, I was always a pretty selfish person. After my mom left, I pretty much decided that looking out for number one was the only important thing ,so that's what I did. I got better about it for a while once you and Emmett came into my life. It was about that time, four years ago, after I graduated college and stuff, that I reverted back to that selfish asshole. It took hearing you talking in your sleep to pull me out of it. Anyway, I'm so sorry."

I kissed her forehead and both cheeks.

"And finally, while yes I wish you would see yourself clearly and understand how amazing you are, I will never stop working my hardest to be the man you deserve. It's not a hardship; it's a privilege. Okay?"

She nodded through her tears and I leaned forward to meet her lips in a forceful kiss full of desperation and desire. She sighed into my mouth and I took the opportunity to sneak my tongue in to gently caress hers, sampling her sweet taste.

After a few kisses, she pulled away, looking me in the eyes. "And I promise to work hard, too. You deserve the honesty and trust you're asking for. I will work my hardest to do that and to make you as happy as I can. You deserve so much more than what I am too, not that you can see it. I think you might just be the poster boy for love making you blind." She giggled and kissed my lips again before deepening the kiss once more.

We sat there for some time, soothing one another with our kisses, before I finally pulled away, citing that we would never reach our destination if we didn't keep moving. Before pulling away from the shoulder, I reached back into the front of my duffel bag pulling out our iPods and passing them to Bella.

Bella looked over at me with a funny expression. "Uh, Edward, sweetheart, I'm pretty sure we can only listen to one iPod at a time."

I smiled at her with a wink. "Well, we're going to play a bit of a game while we drive. Do me a favor and flip on mine."

I waited for her to turn it on and wait for the opening screens to pass. "Okay, now go to my playlists. Look for one marked BB."

Her brow crinkled. "Like Boy Boy?"

I chuckled, "More like Beautiful Bella."

She looked over with raised eyebrows before looking determinedly at the screen, clicking when she found the desired playlist. She sat in silence a few minutes scanning the screen and then looked over at me in amazement.

"How long?"

I shrugged. "Ah, I started it about four years ago or so…right around the same time as the collage frame I think. Of course the nature of songs has changed quite significantly since I realized my feelings for you. I've added a lot more songs in the last month or so. That was something that sort of got me all out of control when I saw your playlist…check out how many duplicates we have…"

She giggled as she scrolled the list, recognizing many of her EAM songs on my BB list.

"So, how is this a game?" She asked nibbling her lower lip shyly.

"Well, here's what I was thinking. We're going to use the songs to help us understand each other and how we've been feeling all of these years. We bring up a time in our past and then we play the song from our playlists that we added around that time or makes us think of that time. What do you think?"

She smiled and nodded, bouncing in her seat a bit, reminding me of Alice. "That sounds like it could be really cool. Let's do it!"

I smiled, turning on the radio. I plugged in the auxiliary cord, plugging in my iPod first. We would have to plug and unplug the cord each time, but it should still work.

"Well how do we work this?" She asked looking over at me as she nibbled her lip.

"How about I go first? I say we start at the beginning. Look through and pick a song that reminds you of how you felt sometime during the first two years or so we knew each other, when we were first learning about one another."

She frowned and began to scroll through her iPod. I scrolled my iPod Touch straight to the first song I would play, knowing it was unequivocally what I thought about when I was around Bella during those early years. The love line wasn't really where my head was at the time, but the general feelings and emotions in the verses were perfect.

I left my touch plugged in as I waited for her to finish searching. It took her a long time to find which one she wanted to share before finally looking up at me with a shy smile.

"Ready?"

She nodded.

I hit the button and the first guitar riffs of Guns and Roses _Sweet Child O Mine_ began to fill the air of the car and she looked over with a chuckle and a wide smile.

_She's got a smile that it seems to me_  
_Reminds me of childhood memories_  
_Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky_  
_Now and then when I see her face_  
_She takes me away to that special place_  
_And if I stared too long_  
_I'd probably break down and cry_

_Oh, sweet child o' mine_  
_Oh, sweet love of mine_

_She's got eyes of the bluest skies_  
_As if they thought of rain_  
_I hate to look into those eyes_  
_And see an ounce of pain_  
_Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place_  
_Where as a child I'd hide_  
_And pray for the thunder and the rain_  
_To quietly pass me by_

I turned down the music into the background once we were past the second verse and looked over briefly. "Of course your eyes aren't blue, but the rest of it is pretty accurate. There was always a connection there with you that I never really understood, but when we would hang out, I just felt this sort of sense of peace. Once I met you, I could never hear this song without thinking of you and those deep brown eyes and that long brown hair."

She sighed and reached over to take my hand and squeeze it. I glanced away from the road again with a smile and nodded that it was her turn. She unplugged my player, plugging in hers before hitting the play button. A light pop beat along with a light girly voice began to sing into the air and I looked over with a funny expression.

"Just listen doofus," she sighed elbowing me in the ribs.

I chuckled and focused on the lyrics.

_You know everything that I'm afraid of_  
_You do everything I wish I did_  
_Everybody wants you, everybody loves you_  
_I know I should tell you how I feel_  
_I wish everyone would disappear_  
_Everytime you call me, I'm too scared to be me_  
_And I'm too shy to say,_

_Ooh, I got a crush on you (crush on you)_  
_I hope you feel the way that I do_  
_I get a rush when I'm with you_  
_Ooh, I've got a crush on you, a crush on you..._

_You know I'm the one that you can talk to_  
_sometimes you tell me things that I don't want to know_  
_I just want to hold you_  
_You say exactly how you feel about her_  
_I wonder, could you ever think of me that way_

The chorus repeated and I looked over as she shrugged. "I was sixteen, A Walk to Remember had just come out, and it put me into my Mandy Moore phase. I want you to hear the next verse and then I'll swap them back out again."

_Ooh, I wish I could tell somebody_  
_But there's no one to talk to_  
_Nobody knows I've got a crush on you_  
_A crush on you, I got a crush (hey, hey yeah)(I got a crush on you)_  
_You say everything that no one says_  
_I feel everything that you're afraid to feel_  
_I will always want you, I will always love you_

She turned the music back down and turned back to me nibbling her lip.

"That was sweet, Bella…very fitting for a teenager with a crush on a sexy older man."

She giggled as I winked at her dramatically, putting on a bit of swagger in my shoulders for effect which made her laugh harder. I loved hearing her laugh, especially after the last twenty-four hours.

"Okay, well it's your turn to choose."

She nibbled on her lip and examined her hands for a few minutes before finally looking back over at me.

"Alright, I've got one. How about the time when we started going to the beach house? So basically four years ago…. I'm curious about what you were thinking during that timeframe when you started the collage with the beach pictures."

I smiled and thought for a minute before finding my selection. It was dangerous to be doing this while driving, but I was accustomed to it and I wanted to see her reaction when she first heard the song as opposed to telling her and making her find it.

A few seconds later, she looked over and we nodded at each other.

"Ladies first."

She smiled and hit the play button. The slow, familiar, and yet long forgotten strains of music filled the air. It was so familiar but I couldn't quite place it. The unique voice of Mazzy Star filled the car and I immediately placed the tune as _Fade Into You_ and my heart ached a bit.

_I want to hold the hand inside you_  
_I want to take a breath that's true_  
_I look to you and I see nothing_  
_I look to you to see the truth_  
_You live your life_  
_You go in shadows_  
_You'll come apart and you'll go black_  
_Some kind of night into your darkness_  
_Colors_ _your eyes with what's not there._

_Fade into you_  
_Strange you never knew_  
_Fade into you_  
_I think its strange you never knew_

_A strangers light comes on slowly_  
_A strangers heart without__ahome_  
_You put your hands into your head_  
_And then _smiles _cover your heart_

She lowered the music before she spoke. "It was around that time that you really started hitting your promiscuous high. I was watching you go through women like they were socks. It broke my heart and made me feel invisible in a way, I guess. It was like my Edward was slowly disappearing as you turned more and more into Slutward. You still spent time with me, but it was slowly becoming less and less in favor of nights out on the hunt. It wasn't exactly a high time for me."

I felt my brows furrow as I grasped her hand again, running my thumb over the back. There was so much that I was blind to, and now my choice was going to sound incredibly selfish, but then again, I always was. Bella had been right a few weeks ago when she called me out on using her as my emotional companion. It started early on with her calming presence and it continued to grow as time progressed. I managed to squeeze it into smaller and smaller slivers of time, so that eventually when we were together, it was pretty much all about what I needed from her and very little reciprocation. I swapped out the cords and hit play and the light guitar began to play the Goo Goo Dolls song _Iris._

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_  
_Cause I know that you feel me somehow_  
_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_  
_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is this moment_  
_And all I can breathe is your life_  
_Cause sooner or later it's over_  
_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_  
_When everything's made to be broken_  
_I just want you to know who I am_

I turned back the music. "The chorus was the main part that reminded me of you during that time, but the rest is true too to an extent. I hid so much of myself from everyone else, but for some reason I trusted you. I wanted you to know me. I couldn't have told you why then, but looking back now, I know it's because I loved you all along. It just took me half a decade to realize it!"

Bella reached across the car to run her hand through my hair with a knowing smile. Her hand fell behind my head to play with the nape of my neck as she looked back at the screen of her player whispering, "Your turn."

I sighed and glared at the dark expanse of the road head of me. I knew I didn't really want to know the answer to this, but at the same time, I wanted to get it out of the way. It was a nearly bottom of the barrel low point for me, before I woke up and realized what Bella meant to me.

"What songs do you relate to when I screw up and hurt you like that deal with Maggie?"

I glanced to see her swallow hard. She closed her eyes, clenching them tight. After what we'd been through today, I didn't want to bring back the painful memories, but I needed to know.

Bella took a deep breathe, pausing for a minute, and then sighed. "Let's save that for the next time we play. We've been on such a rollercoaster of emotions for the last twenty-four hours already. I want to think about some good memories now."

"Okay, sweetie. One last one and then we take a break. This is a great game, but you're right, it could be exhausting."

She whispered in my ear as I tensed and nodded. "Okay, now I want you to pick a song that makes you think of the way we feel about each other now…as adults who finally, hopefully, have our shit together."

I smiled and thought for a moment before scanning my list to find the song I wanted to share with her. To be honest, there were at least a dozen I could have chosen from, but I picked the one that had been echoing in my head all weekend long.

"I love you, my beautiful Bella." I whispered, glancing over to see her beaming at me.

"I love you too, my Edward."

I nodded once, letting her know I had my song ready. She took it from me and excitedly hit play. Nickelback's _Far Away_ began to play in the car as I grabbed her hand from my hair again and held tight.

_This time, This place_  
_Misused, Mistakes_  
_Too long, Too late_  
_Who was I to make you wait_  
_Just one chance_  
_Just one breath_  
_Just in case there's just one left_  
_'Cause you know,_  
_you know, you know_

_That I love you_  
_I have loved you all along_  
_And I miss you_  
_Been far away for far too long_  
_I keep dreaming you'll be with me_  
_and you'll never go_  
_Stop breathing if_  
_I don't see you anymore_

_On my knees, I'll ask_  
_Last chance for one last dance_  
_'Cause with you, I'd withstand_  
_All of hell to hold your hand_  
_I'd give it all_  
_I'd give for us_  
_Give anything but I won't give up_  
_'Cause you know,_  
_you know, you know_

_That I love you_  
_I have loved you all along_  
_And I miss you_  
_Been far away for far too long_  
_I keep dreaming you'll be with me_  
_and you'll never go_  
_Stop breathing if_  
_I don't see you anymore_

_So far away_  
_Been far away for far too long_  
_So far away_  
_Been far away for far too long_  
_But you know, you know, you know_

_I wanted_  
_I wanted you to stay_  
_'Cause I needed_  
_I need to hear you say…_  
_That I love you_  
_I have loved you all along_  
_And I forgive you_  
_For being away for far too long_  
_So keep breathing_  
_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_  
_Believe it_  
_Hold on to me and, never let me go_  
_Keep breathing_  
_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore_  
_Believe it_  
_Hold on to me and, never let me go_  
_Keep breathing_  
_Hold on to me and, never let me go_  
_Keep breathing_  
_Hold on to me and, never let me go_

The song ended and I felt her small hand so tight in mine, it was practically cutting off my circulation.

"Edward, pull the car over."

"Bella?"

I was worried, but I did as she asked. As soon as the car was put into park she threw off her seatbelt and stretched across the middle console, grabbing my neck and pulling me to meet her for a heavy, love laden kiss. I released my seatbelt, shifting in my seat to pull her closer, as she did the same. We were a mass of arms, hands, and mouths, in a flurry of need and desire. I guess we were done with the game for now.

After a long while, she finally pulled away, clasping my face between her palms and locking her eyes with mine.

"I love you, Edward. From now on, even if things appear undeniable, I promise to not run off and jump to my own conclusions without confronting you with them. I believe in you…I believe in us. Okay?"

I nodded, bewitched by her eyes and the determination behind them.

"I love you, Bella. I always will. I promise you."

"I know," she answered quietly.

We finally let go, turning back in our seats to buckle our belts and settling in. After we were safely back on the road, Bella chose to play my BB playlist on random, settling in next to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

She stayed there for a long time, slowly relaxing into my arm. I was almost sure she was asleep when I heard her quiet voice.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know if there are any gun ranges near where we are going to be this week?"

I tensed in my seat. "Probably, it is a police training facility, but uh…why would you want to know?"

"I think it's time I brush up."

I jerked and she sat up in reaction to me. "Brush up? What the?"

She laughed lightly. "Edward, if I'm nothing more, I AM Charlie Swan's daughter! I've been taught the proper respect and handling of fire arms since I was old enough to understand English. I fired my first round in Dad's range on our back pasture when I was seven. The recoil from the rifle was enough to bruise my shoulder and knock me on my back!"

She laughed at the memory and I smiled, despite my discomfort with the idea of Bella using a gun, especially at such a young age.

"It was something Dad and I did together to bond. I got pretty good actually, but I'm sure these days I'd be pretty rusty. I haven't even picked up a gun in seven and a half years."

I turned to look at her, "But you don't even own a gun, babe."

She smiled. "Yes I do…well, Emmett and I do. We still have Dad's service revolver locked away in Emmett's room and I do have a FOID card, so I can legally own one."

She rolled her eyes at my surprise.

"Obviously you don't know everything about me yet, Edward Masen," she chirped smugly, crossing her arms and leaning against the passenger side door.

I glanced again out of the corner of my eye, frowning and she just laughed.

"I don't feel comfortable with this, Bella. I..."

She cut me off with a sigh. "I guess I'll just have to talk to Emmett. I'm sure if you're not willing to help me out, he will. He knows that I know what I'm doing."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. My mind recognized that Bella was a strong, capable, intelligent woman. I had no doubt after what she told me that she'd probably be more than fine on a firing range, but my protective side was much more dominant in that moment.

"Wait, Charlie had a firing range in your back pasture…wasn't that illegal?"

She shrugged. "Nah, we lived in the country not too far from city limits on three acres of slightly rolling land. Dad set up the range at the bottom of one of the hills so that the rounds would bury themselves in the dirt behind the targets and set up a big area for target practice. Heck all of the city and half the county cops came out to our land to shoot with Dad. They were all pretty impressed with my skills. By the time I was twelve, my nickname in the County Sheriff's office was Annie Oakley."

I shook my head as I chuckled. The more I thought about it, the more I could picture Bella aiming a gun at glass bottles on her Dad's back pasture, surrounded by teasing off duty cops. As much as the idea unsettled me, it really did fit.

I focused out the window and sighed. "Fine, I'll find out if there's somewhere we can take you and I'll help you brush up. Just promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

She rolled her eyes, "Okay, honey. I will."

We were about two hours away from the hotel when I felt Bella completely relax against my arm, her breathing evening out. I continued to drive while listening to her breath and feeling her warmth seep through the fabric of my sleeve, thanking God that she was safe and that Emmett stepped up to help me reach her.

A part of me resented being accused, tried, and convicted to punishment via Emmett's muscles before I had a chance to defend myself, but my mind kept stepping back into Bella's point of view, what she had seen, how she must have felt, and then how Emmett must have felt hearing her cry and what caused it. If I had been in his shoes, I probably would have punched first and asked questions later too.

I was trying not to dwell on it though; what's done is done. For now, I would just consider it karmic retribution for all of the times over the years that I actually did deserve it.

I thought about the things Bella had said earlier in the night, the things she had seen and noticed that I never realized and the way those things made her feel. Yeah, I didn't deserve it today, but even if everything else was fair game since I was a single guy with no commitment to her whatsoever at the time, that standing her up shit was shady. I had almost forgotten doing that. I really was a giant prick, but now things were different. I had to believe that maybe now we could make it.

This weekend had been hard, but the more I thought about it, the more important I believed it was. The mistakes of the weekend taught us some major lessons in how we needed to handle future conflict and be better about communication between one another, as well as the rest of the group.

The thought made me groan as I considered how many places along the way one or the other of us could have just talked to someone else about what was happening, and things would have been completely different. If only I had told the guys who Tanya was and about believing I saw my mother. If only Bella would have talked to me and confronted the situation, instead of running away. If only Emmett would have asked questions before kicking my ass. If only Jake had stayed with the girls like he should have, instead of coming with the guys to help keep Emmett from killing me. If only Rose and Alice had stayed with Bella. If only Bella had talked to the girls instead of running off…if only. All of the 'if only's' did no good as far as the past and what happened was concerned, but if we learned our lessons from this mess this time around, then hopefully we will not repeat those mistakes. Or at least one can hope.

I was so lost in my thoughts that before I knew it, we were pulling into the parking lot of the motel. The sky was still pitch black as I gently readjusted Bella so I could get out without waking her. I carried our things in, propping open the door, before going back out to pick Bella up and carry her to our room. After laying her down, I secured the door.

I was amazed how deeply she was sleeping. I was able to get her out of her shoes and jeans without waking her, all the while, desperately trying to keep my thoughts as clean as possible. I slipped out of my jeans and into a pair of basketball shorts before sliding in next to her. Once I was tucked in, I turned toward her, wrapping my arm around her waist and nuzzling my nose into her hair. I was so glad I was able to bring her back with me. Now that we were good again, I was going to need her more than ever before, because tomorrow I had to go face the issue my Mother.

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_**Author's Note: Special thanks to beta extraordinaire Sihaya 9 for her work as usual. She's had a rough week, so I'm sending her some extra love this time! Thanks hon!**_

_**The Melissa/Jake combination was created at the request of my friend and previous beta for my first stories the lovely Melissa00Anne who is a huge pack, and in particular Jake, fan. Hope you enjoy living vicariously Mel! I definitely owed you this one sweets!**_


	22. Getting Reacquainted

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original Twilight Characters.**

**This chapter has been edited for erotic content. Full unedited version of this chapter is available on TWCSlibrary dot com and Twilighted dot net**

_**Thanks as always to my betas SassenachWench and Sihaya 9. Love ya, girls!**_

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**Getting Reacquainted**

**BPOV**

I woke up a bit bewildered as I looked around the sparse motel room. My heart began to flutter when I felt Edward shift beside me, tightening his grip around the skin of my waist. I blushed slightly, realizing I was laying in his arms in nothing but my underwear and a thin cotton t-shirt that had ridden up my stomach overnight, exposing the skin of my waist to the delicious contact with the skin of his arm. I could feel Edward's breath blowing past my ear with every exhale, sending shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes, relishing in how grateful I was that everything turned out to be a huge misunderstanding and I was back in his arms where I knew I belonged.

My body melted under his touch as I relished in the contact of our bodies; my mind reeled in conflict between my desire to wake him and his need for more sleep. I glanced over at the clock on the bedside table that read one in the afternoon. I had no clue what time we had arrived, but I guessed it was probably somewhere around four thirtyish since we only made two brief stops for kisses along the way.

Just as I was deciding to let him sleep at least another hour before I tried to wake him, my stomach let out a loud roar. I felt him shift and chuckle into my neck.

"I take it somebody's hungry."

I nodded, "I guess so. I haven't eaten since before we left yesterday. My stomach is revolting!"

He laughed, tugging my waist for me to roll to face him. He drifted his hand up and down along my waist before ghosting it over the side of my face.

"You look really cute with pillow wrinkles on your face."

I groaned and rolled my eyes, he just chuckled, his eyes twinkling as he leaned forward and kissed my lips. I tried to pull away, claiming morning breath as my excuse, but he wouldn't hear of it.

He forced me back to his side where he kissed me hard and refused to let go until I returned the kiss. I finally did and we kissed a few minutes before his stomach mimicked my own. We groaned and pulled ourselves out of bed to get dressed and find some lunch.

As we dressed, I asked where he wanted to go. He told me that in the little time they had talked, Tanya mentioned working at a little diner in town, asking if I minded if we went there. I shook my head, knowing that we needed to find Tanya sooner rather than later. We needed to be back down in the Minneapolis area for their training to start early Tuesday morning for the livefire shoot house. We were going to meet the rest of the boys with their luggage there late Monday night. That meant we had a little over thirty hours to find Tanya, deal with Elizabeth, and meet the boys back outside of Minneapolis.

We pulled up in front of the small greasy spoon diner, walking into the drab dining room full of hideous yellow formica covered counter tops and tables. The barstools at the counter and chairs were full of rips and tears and the booths, which were once probably white or cream, were now a nicotine yellow from years of cigarette smoke and greasy foods. As soon as crossed the threshold, Edward began to scan the room for the strawberry blonde hair that I had seen on Friday night. I followed him to a booth in the middle of the restaurant and continued to scan the room before picking up our menus with a sigh.

I scanned the menu, looking at all the heart clogging options that were probably incredibly delicious. My father's penchant for greasy spoons meant I spent many a meal sitting next to Emmett in booths similar to this one, elbowing each other in the ribs and arguing over which set of silverware was ours. One thing was definitely typical, the place might be a bit gross looking, but as a rule the food, while highly greasy, was usually equally as good.

I eyed the salmon patty warily; unsure of whether I should actually trust fish in a place like this before finally deciding on a run of the mill cheeseburger and cheese fries. I was just putting the menu down when I noticed a strawberry blonde ponytail dancing in the side door by the kitchen, disappearing into the back room.

"Edward, I think I might have just seen her come in that door over there and go to the back room. All I saw was her hair though, so I might be wrong." I whispered leaning across the table toward him.

He instantly reached his hand out to grab mine on the tabletop as he turned his gaze in the direction I indicated. At that moment, the strawberry blonde came out, freezing in place before a look of relief washed over her perfect features. She rushed to our table with a small smile.

"Oh God, Edward…I'm so glad you're alright! I tried to check on you at the hospital, but they said that you left without being released. I was so worried." At this point, she finally noticed I was there and glanced over at me with an uneasy expression.

"Tanya, this is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is my childhood friend, Tanya."

I smiled, removing my right hand from his in order to reach out and shake hers. "Hi Tanya, it's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

Her face melted from uneasy to one full of apology. "Oh God, Bella, I'm so sorry about everything. If you're here, I know you know the truth now, but honestly, Edward didn't do anything. I kissed him and then he pulled me away and said that he didn't feel that way about me and that he was in love with you. I'm so sorry that you saw what you saw."

I nodded and squeezed her hand quickly in an attempt to reassure her. "It's okay, Tanya. I understand. It was all a ridiculously crazy misunderstanding from the beginning. All of us made mistakes, but that's all it was. It's fine."

She smiled at me so sweetly. It made my heart ache to see how absolutely gorgeous she was when she smiled. I would have been jealous if my mind weren't more prominently plagued with the concept that any guy had ever had balls enough to cheat on someone as beautiful as her. It just goes to show that it really doesn't matter how beautiful a person is on the outside, nobody is immune to heartbreak.

I scooted over, gesturing for her to sit next to me. Edward reached across the table to claim my hand again.

She looked at our grasped hands and smiled sadly. "I assume you're back to find out more about Elizabeth?"

He nodded, his grip on my hand tightening. I squeezed back in commiseration. I watched Tanya reach in her pocket, digging around as she continued to speak.

"I figured you would be back here sometime to find out how to reach her, so I wrote down all of her information for you." She fished out a small envelope, handing it over to Edward. He grabbed it, sitting it in front of him on the table, staring at it like it held the secrets to the universe.

"I called her and told her I saw you. She wants to see you. She had to leave town today, but she will be home late tonight. She said she will keep her schedule clear all day tomorrow, so call her in the morning okay?"

He nodded mutely, looking forlornly down at the folded piece of white paper.

"I guess I've disrupted your lives enough for one century, I better get to work before Morty fires me."

The light faded from her eyes as she stood up, adjusting her apron. My heart skipped a beat. Before I even realized what I was doing I reached my left hand out to grab her arm.

"Tanya?"

She looked at me questioningly.

"Do you have plans tonight?"

She shook her head, still looking a bit apprehensive.

"How about we take you to dinner tonight? It will give you and Edward a chance to catch up a bit since my brother spoiled the reunion. Maybe afterward, we can go get a drink or something."

At first she looked surprised, then the surprise morphed into a bright smile that twinkled in her eyes, making her even more radiant than ever before as tears pooled along her lower eyelids.

"That would be really nice, Bella. Thank you. I get off at seven, would it be okay if we met somewhere at eight?"

I smiled and nodded. "Name the place."

She tapped her pencil on her bottom lip, "How about we meet here and then we can talk about it and decide where we want to go from there?"

"Sounds like a plan," I replied with a smile.

She looked around and then back at us with a frown.

"Nobody's even gotten you drinks yet, have they?"

I shook my head. "Well, I'm sorry. What would you like?"

We both ordered and as she walked away, I looked back at Edward for the first time since he got the envelope to see him staring at me with a wide smile and soft eyes.

"What?"

"I love you." He said reaching out to take my hand again rubbing is thumb across the back.

I giggled, "I already knew that, but what's the look for?"

He smirked and shook his head. "Just proud of you, that's all."

I gave him a funny look and shrugged.

He shook his head again before reaching back up to fidget with the envelope.

"So, are you going to open it or just fidget with it all day?"

He looked up and back down again speaking to the envelope. "I'm not sure I want to open it. Do I really want to open up this can of worms? My life is good now, do I really want her to even step one hair back into it? She abandoned me, she came back one time when I was a teenager trying to get her hands on my money and I never heard from her again even though she lives less than a day's drive away from me. Do I really want to give someone like that a chance to weasel their way back in?"

I sighed, reaching both of my hands to grab his, holding them between us. "Look at me honey."

He looked up lowly, the pain and conflict glittering in his eyes.

"The choice is yours, but honestly, I think you need to talk to her and get things off of your chest. You never really dealt with all the things you felt when she left you behind. You never really had any closure. If nothing more, you get your chance to tell her how you feel, get it off your chest. Maybe once you clear the air, you can move on with your life knowing that now she knows just how badly she hurt you. I'll be there by your side and hold your hand the whole time."

He smiled dimly and sighed with a nod. Tanya came back, setting our glasses in front of us with a smile and a wink at me before heading to a new table that had just come in. Edward let one of my hands go to take a long drink, but continued to hold the other tightly in his hand as though it were a lifeline.

We ate in relative silence as he would glare from time to time at the envelope by his plate. By the time we finished our food and stood to leave, the envelope was still sealed tightly. He slid it into his back pocket.

Tanya was running register when he walked up to the counter. He put down a hundred dollar bill and walked away. She called out for him, but he just smiled and waved as the door closed behind him.

Her eyes turned to me and widened. I smiled, nodding. She shook her head in disbelief as I opened the door and walked out to join him in his car.

We drove in silence to the motel. When we entered the room, Edward gathered his things to take a shower as I picked up my phone to call Emmett.

"Hey Brother Bear, I just thought I'd call to let you know we made it safely."

"Thanks Squirt, how are things going?"

I sighed, "As well as can be expected. We don't get to see Elizabeth until tomorrow, but we did have a nice talk with Tanya. We're taking her to dinner tonight."

"Uh, excuse me?"

I giggled, "Relax bro, it was all my idea. She seems like a nice girl and I owe her a chance, not to mention that they were best friends when they were kids. They deserve the chance to catch up."

Emmett cleared his throat. "Just be careful, kiddo. I don't want you to get hurt."

I couldn't help but smile. "It's all fine Em. I trust him. We talked most of the way up here. It gave us a chance to sort a lot of things out. We're good...trust me."

He sighed, "Alright. I woke up to a few things this weekend and I do trust you, both of you. I saw exactly how devoted he is to you. I never thought I'd see the day, but he really is. I honestly don't think he'll hurt you on purpose, but I don't know this girl from Adam, and considering what happened last time..."

"Em, don't worry. I trust him and that's the important part. If my instincts are right, I think I can trust her too. Oh, speaking of discussions on the car ride up, when you come meet us, could you please bring my laptop and Dad's service revolver?"

"And why the hell do I need to bring Dad's Ruger?" He growled into the phone, annoyance brewing in his voice.

"I'm going to hit a shooting range while we're in the area and bush up on my skills. I haven't picked up a gun in nearly seven years. I think it would make me feel better to brush up on my skills."

Emmett was quiet for a while before he finally started to stutter a bit. "I...I...I don't know about this, Bells."

Shoot, big bro might not be as cool with it as I thought. "Emmett Charles! You know full well I know my way around a weapon and a firing range. If you won't take me, then I'll just find a place myself once we're home and go on my own. I'd think you'd rather you and/or Edward were there to help me out and keep an eye on me than for me to go on my own."

Emmett sighed before chuckling darkly. "So Annie Oakley's going to make a reappearance, huh? I thought once I got you out of the country that I would break you of that addiction."

I laughed openly, "Oh Em! You know full well that there's no such thing...once a gunhead, always a gunhead!"

He laughed in response. We chatted a bit longer before I told him I was going to go take care of their luggage and check out of their rooms.

I grabbed the keys for the boys' hotel rooms and began shifting their luggage into the back of the Volvo, before taking the keys up to the office to check them out. By the time I made it back to our room, Edward was out of the shower, sitting on the bed, his towel tied around his waist with the envelope in his hand turning it over and over again.

I crossed the room, sitting behind him in silence, running my fingers though his hair a few times comfortingly. I leaned forward, placing a peck on his shoulder blade before getting up and assembling my things to take my shower.

As the hot water pounded my neck and back, my mind continued to worry about Edward. He was being so quiet and reserved; I hoped that he was going to be okay. I stepped out of the steamy bathroom with the towel secured around my chest.

Edward was still sitting on the bed in his towel. The envelope was now on the floor at his feet, his hands buried in his hair. I wanted to rush over and hold him and make him talk, but I resisted the impulse, knowing he needed his space to think.

I towel dried my hair and began to run my comb through the numerous tangles that managed to hold on in spite of my double hit of conditioner. I closed my eyes, humming along to a song trapped in my head, as the comb finally began to pull smoothly through my hair from root to tip. Just as I was pulling the comb through for the last time, I felt a pair of strong arms circle my waist and a pair of soft lips caress my neck.

I opened my eyes to see Edward's green irises burning into my reflection. His hands began to float up and down my sides over the terry cloth of the towel. Our eyes stayed locked in the glass of the mirror as he began to shift his lips across my shoulders and neck kissing and nipping as he went with the occasional sigh.

"Mmmm, Bella, you taste so good. I was thinking now might be a good time to finish what I started at Alice's before we were so rudely interrupted. What do you think, my love?"

I groaned as his right hand slipped through the opening of the towel, ghosting across the bare flesh of my stomach. It hovered there a while before roaming up to trail across my left breast, teasing my already aroused nipples as I moaned, relaxing back against his body, resting my head on his left shoulder.

"Are…are you sure you're in the mood to do this sweetheart?" I asked nearly unable to recognize my voice with the breathy quality it possessed in that moment.

I saw his lips curve up in the mirror. He shifted is lower body closer to mine proving to me exactly how in the mood he really was. I moaned again, nibbling my lip, feeling myself growing moist in anticipation.

I began to blush and my throat grew tighter as he reached up, untucking the top of my towel, letting it pool at my feet. He sighed, reaching around me to roam my now completely exposed body with his hands, his gaze moving up and down my reflection in the mirror.

He nibbled on my ear before grazing his nose against it and whispering, "You are beautiful, my Bella, so incredibly beautiful. The fact that you shave is sexy as fuck. I thought I had felt that last week, but I wasn't sure since we were interrupted so fast."

His hands found a home on my breasts. He watched intently as his hands caressed and teased them. I arched into his hand and against his erection, which was now tenting his towel that was now in peril of falling to the floor as well.

After a few minutes, I turned to face him, leaning against the counter and removing the towel. I felt a sense of pride knowing what stood at attention beneath was all for me.

I reached out, clasping his hair in both hands and pulling his mouth to mine to devour his lips and tongue in eagerness. His mouth slowly began to drift away and down my chest to tease at my nipples. I arched and moaned loudly in response.

I felt him smirk against my chest as he mumbled, "All I can say is, Thank God Emmett is nine hours away today, because I fully intend to make you scream until you can't speak!"

With that, he picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He carried me to the bed where he tossed me before crawling up my body on is hand and knees. The look in his eyes nearly sent me over the edge right then and there. When he reached my face, he settled over me as his mouth met mine with staggering passion, his hands resumed their exploration of my body and soon his mouth joined his hands.

I swear that there wasn't a single part of my body the man missed as he kissed and licked his way back and forth and up and down, causing me to gasp and moan and yet ignoring the place I wanted him the most. Finally, unable to stand it anymore, I grabbed his head and forced him to look up at me as I begged with all I had.

"Edward, PLEASE, please, Edward!"

He smirked, his eyes growing almost black with desire as he kissed around my bellybutton.

"Please what, my beautiful Bella? Please kiss you some more?"

I shook my head no, "Please stop?"

My head shot up, "Oh, Hell NO!"

He chuckled before letting his hand ghost down to my thigh, teasing back and forth toward my heated core.

"Do you want me to touch you here?" He asked, letting his fingers barely brush where I wanted them.

I arched and gasped loudly. "Oh yes, please, please, yes."

He growled, leaning down, keeping his eyes on mine as he devoured me through long vibrating moans. I bucked and thrashed, screaming and grasping his hair in my hands, arching myself into him over and over as he brought me over the edge. He never stopped until he brought me over the edge again, screaming his name with a hoarse, over taxed voice. I had never ever felt anything remotely like the euphoria Edward's touches provided.

My whole body was like a sweaty pool of gasping jello. He kissed his way back up to my mouth. With shaky hands, I grabbed him and pulled him to my lips, thanking him with the most enthusiastic kiss my completely spent body could muster. He settled next to me, kissing my face and burying is nose in my neck with a smug expression on his face…and holy shit did he ever deserve to be smug.

My chest was still heaving as I finally managed to formulate a comment. "Oh holy shit…that was amazing! Thank…you…that was...wow…I mean…WOW! Can we…do that again…later?"

He chuckled and caressed my face, nodding. I could feel he still had issues of his own that needed taken care of. I reached a shaky hand down to caress him, but he groaned at the contact. I knew I wouldn't be able to blow him right now if my life depended on it after having two of the hardest orgasms of my life back to back, so I settled instead on jacking him off. He didn't last long before he melted next to me, boneless and panting.

"My God, you are so amazing, Bella. I am the luckiest fucking man in the world," he said. I felt his fingers pull through my now only slightly damp hair. He picked up the alarm clock from the bedside table, setting it, before he wrapped both hands around me, cuddling me as I lay atop his chest limply. We drifted off together in a blissful sleep.

I was awoken to find myself still naked in Edward's arms. The alarm clock squawked from the bedside table. Edward reached over and slammed it with his hand a few times until I stopped. We both groaned.

I shifted to get up and go take another shower, but his arms tightened around me, pulling me to lie on top of him. I could feel his hard length against my leg as he kissed me deeply, caressing my face.

"Thank you." I must have looked confused because he chuckled. "Thank you for giving me my space when I needed it. I love you so much. I just wanted to thank you for knowing when I need some time on my own to think and when I need your encouragement. I don't know how I ever got so lucky."

I smiled and kissed his nose. "You're welcome. Are you ready to talk more yet, or no?"

He looked as though he were considering his options before nodding. "Yeah, I think I am. Go grab your shower first. After mine, we can sit and talk before we go meet Tanya."

I nodded and stood up, noticing his eyes following me as I circled the room grabbing the things I needed. I looked back to see the unopened envelope was still on the floor where it had been when I walked out of the bathroom a few hours before.

I put my hair up in a towel, realizing that I didn't need to rewash my hair, just my body. I quickly washed and rinsed. Stepping out to dry myself, I slipped into my clothes for the evening.

I stepped out of the bathroom to come face to face with a distraught looking Edward. In his shaking hand was the now opened envelope. He grabbed me, pulling me tight to his chest, holding me there while I stroked his back in comfort.

"Elizabeth Pendleton…she's been married to this guy for six years Bella…and they've lived here the whole time…six fucking years!"

I released my arms around his torso and pulled back. I grabbed his hand from around my shoulder, pulling him with me to the bed where I pushed him down and settled next to him. He rested his head on my shoulder, wrapping his left arm around my waist and crumpling the envelope in his right hand.

"I just don't understand how she can love me for ten years and then just stop when my Dad died. Did she never really love me? I just don't understand how a mother can be that way."

I caressed his hair with my left hand while rubbing his back with my right. "I know this is going to sound hypocritical after my reaction to the stuff with you earlier this week, but that's why you need to go see her and confront her. You need to get those answers so they don't plague you anymore. As much as the answers might hurt, they have to be better than the questions and assuming the worst is true, when it maybe isn't."

He nodded against my chest, wrapping his other arm around the front of my waist and squeezing as he shifted toward me. He buried his nose in my neck, breathing deeply as his shoulders relaxed with every breath. Finally, after several minutes, he released me, handing me the envelope as he got up to go get his own shower.

Before he closed the door, he motioned toward the envelope. "Read it if you want."

I waited for the door to close and the water to start running before I pulled out the letter written in neat cursive lettering.

_Dear Edward,_

_I'm sorry for everything that happened. Please let me make it up to you by telling you all that I know about Elizabeth. If you don't come back for this by Wednesday, then I will mail it to you in Chicago at your Aunt and Uncle's address and hope they get it to you._

_I first ran into__Elizabeth__four years ago, right after I moved here with my husband Larry. We just bumped into each other in the produce section of the grocery store. I gasped her name when I saw her, and she turned and asked if she knew me. As we talked, she seemed to remember me and we formed a bit of a friendship. She asked all about if I saw you, how you were doing last I saw you and how, you fared in school. She seemed very interested in your life._

_As we talked, I discovered that she had married Andrew Pendleton six years ago and lived at Pendleton Lodge and Ski Resort with him ever since. I've asked her many times why she hasn't contacted you. She always skirts the issue. I really don't know why…but it always bothered me. I was there. I saw how much she hurt you when she left. I don't know if she knows how much damage she did. I don't know if it is any consolation, but she seems happy now. As far as I know, she's sober, she doesn't even drink more than a couple of beers when we have our monthly girls' night at Harper's Bar, and I've never seen anything to indicate drugs. I think she's straightened out her life at least._

_I am including her contact information below so you can call or go the lodge to look her up. I wish I could provide you with more information, but that's pretty much all I know. We never talk about the past besides you, so I have no idea what she did before moving here. Anyway, I hope what I have given you helps somehow. I cannot express how sorry I am for causing problems with your girlfriend. She must be some girl to bring back the old Edward I used to know. I hope she knows how lucky she is to have that person in her life. You were always an amazing, kind, and compassionate person. I'm glad you found yourself again. Please tell her I am sorry for the pain my stupid impulse caused._

_Sincerely,_

_Tanya Denali Moreau_

Below her signature was Elizabeth's name with an address and telephone number. I had just finished reading it for the second time when the door to the bathroom opened, releasing a billowing cloud of steam into the room. Edward stepped through with a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair dripping onto his shoulders and running down his chest. I had to resist the urge to go manhandle him again. He looked over catching me ogling him. He smirked and winked before turning to the mirror to comb his hair and shave.

I watched unabashedly as he walked across the room to his suitcase, watching his muscles ripple under his skin, making my mouth go dry and abdomen tingle with desire. I nibbled my lip as I watched him drop the towel, pulling on a pair of black stretchy boxer briefs before sliding into a pair of dark wash denim jeans and my favorite green button up, the smirk never leaving his face. Once he was dressed, he sauntered back over to me, taking the envelope from my hand and tossing it on the bedside table. He pulled me up into his arms, kissing me passionately. Finally, after several minutes of kisses that were making my temperature rise again, he suggested that we should probably go meet Tanya.

I sighed, unwilling to leave his embrace. I finally pulled myself free, following as he led me by the hand to his Volvo. He opened the door for me to slide in, kissing my forehead, before crossing back around to his side to slide behind the wheel.

We pulled into the parking lot of the diner to see Tanya leaning against her ancient pick up. It reminded me of a slightly newer version of the clunker my dad taught me to drive on the country roads outside of Lincoln when I turned thirteen. It was standard for country kids to learn how to drive early, just in case an emergency arose or the driver became incapacitated while they were in the middle of nowhere, the kid could get them back to civilization. She looked pretty, but I thanked the good lord she wasn't the type to dress trashy. She wore a pair of nice, dark-washed denim jeans and a soft looking purple v-neck sweater. When we pulled up, she walked up to the car and asked if she should drive herself or ride with us. We suggested she climb in. I got out, allowing her to slide into the back seat.

Once inside, she leaned up between the seats to discuss where we would go for supper. We finally settled on a Mexican restaurant in town. Things were easy with Tanya; we all chatted on our way across town.

Once the car was parked, Edward walked around to open the door, helping me out before assisting Tanya. He offered one arm to each of us. We both giggled and wrapped our arms in his, letting him lead us inside. Once we reached the door, he released Tanya to open the door, motioning for her to enter, pulling me inside with him as he shifted to hold my hand.

We settled into a booth with Edward and me on one side and Tanya on the other. We ordered a double round of chips and salsa, chatting quietly. We nibbled on the chips and waited for the food to arrive. During our talk, I discovered Tanya and I had a lot in common, the least of which was the unfortunate luck of having all of our exes cheat on us. We commiserated over the assholes from our past while Edward shifted uncomfortably; knowing either one of us could have easily heaped him into the pile if he had ever succeeded with Tanya or acted on his impulses with me prior to his recent epiphanies and reformation.

She told us about her asshole of an ex-husband, Laurent Moreau, known as Larry. He sounded like a real piece of work. He basically stranded her here with nothing and no way to return home. He even managed to lose her entire inheritance that she received from her parents when they had passed away just before they met. She literally had nothing and no way to get back to the only place she's ever called home, even if she has no family left there.

My heart broke for Tanya. I thought about how it would be if the roles were reversed. If I were alone in the world, trapped in a town I never wanted to be in, with no way to get home. I wanted to do something to help Tanya, but I wanted to talk to Edward first.

After we finished dinner, we went to the bar. My stomach tightened instinctually. When I walked in, I thought I'd be sick at seeing the large indention in the drywall where Emmett had shoved Edward so hard it cracked and buckled the wallboard. Edward grabbed my hand, squeezing it comfortingly. I looked over, grazing my hand across his still bruised nose. Thankfully, the damage to his nose had been minor. The bruising was already starting to fade into more of a greenish yellow around the edges, but I still felt horrible.

Edward reached up and took my fingers, kissing them and leaning into my ear. "It's in the past, time to move on."

I looked back at the wall and then to him again before nodding sadly. He pulled me to the bar where Tanya settled onto a stool, talking to the bartender. We settled in next to her, perching on stools and curling up closely together, both needing the physical reassurance.

Thankfully, the rest of the night went more smoothly. We chatted and had fun. I danced with Edward and with Tanya. I even offered once to let them dance together, but they both refused, which was actually a huge relief. I wanted to be gracious, but I worried that seeing them dance would bring everything back up again whether I liked it or not.

We stayed a couple of hours before climbing back in the Volvo, making our way back to Tanya's truck. We let her out of the back and stood talking, leaning on our cars for another hour. I asked Tanya to trade contact information, then we hugged goodbye and she thanked me for everything. I shook my head, thanking her for helping Edward. She hugged Edward gently before smiling at me again and climbing into her truck to drive away.

Edward was quiet in the car. Finally, about three blocks before reaching the motel, I broke the silence. "Edward, I want to help Tanya get back to Chicago."

He turned to look at me with a sort of snort chuckle combination. "I was just thinking the same thing."

We sat in the car for several minutes, discussing things we could do.

I finally sighed, "I hope we can do something to help. I really liked Tanya. I swear we could so easily be in one another shoes with just a tiny twist of fate…you know?"

He nodded, getting out and coming around the car. After opening my door, he yanked me out of my seat, crushing me to his chest in one fluid motion. He covered my mouth with his, pushing past my lips instantly to massage my tongue with his own. Pushing the car door closed behind me, he pulled me up, motioning for me to wrap my legs around him as he carried me to the door of our motel room. He fumbled with the key behind me as he held me up by my ass with one hand all the while never breaking our kiss.

Finally, he opened the door, slamming it shut behind him with his foot and slamming the safety bar across the top. He pressed me up against the door, moving his eager mouth down my neck to nip at my tits through my shirt. I gasped and arched into him while his hands kneaded my ass insistently.

After a few minutes, he crossed the room to the bed, lying down with me still wrapped around his waist. His hands immediately reached for the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head once his hands were free. Meanwhile, I began working on undoing his buttons and shoving his shirt off of his tight shoulders.

His hands roamed my back, fumbling with my bra and I giggled, "front clasp."

He nodded, reaching one hand in between my boobs to flick it open, freeing them with a bounce.

"Oh God, these boobs…do you have any idea how much you tortured me at the beach with these things? The second year we went to the beach house, you had that growth spurt and discovered bikinis at the same time. I wore sunglasses all summer to keep from getting caught watching you. I was taking constant cold showers and chanting my mantra that you were too young in my head."

I snorted loudly, followed by a string of giggles.

He looked up confused.

"You think it was a coincidence the bikinis came out that next summer? It was only the year before that I overheard you and your lady friend in the bedroom. Then, when my boobs decided to jump unexpectantly from B's to C's, I decided to embrace the change and see if I could grab your attention for once. Of course, you continued to ignore me, or so I thought, but I did manage to get a couple of good make out sessions from the other beach boys staying further down the beach that summer."

Then he chuckled, shaking his head ruefully. "We are quite a pair aren't we?"

I shook my head in agreement, "Oh yes, we are. I'm glad to say that we finally really are a pair. I don't intend to ever let you go."

His eyes darkened as he leaned back down to claim my mouth once more in a hungry frenzy before sliding down to pull my nipple into his mouth, teasing with his tongue as he sucked and nibbled. I moaned his name and ran my nails up and down his scalp gently.

After a while, I pushed him back to explore his chest with my tongue, flicking his nipples teasingly before making him roll over. I slid down his body for a repeat performance of the award winning blow job I gave him the night before he left for training.

As soon as I was done, he decided it was my turn again, bringing me over the edge with his tongue and fingers. When he finally made it back up to my face, I grabbed his face between my hands.

"Make love to me Edward."

He sucked in his breath and closed his eyes. "Not yet, love."

I began to feel frustrated as I whined, "Why not Edward? Please! I want you, I can feel that you want me, so what's the problem? I don't understand!"

He sighed, lowering his forehead to mine while still looking into my eyes. "Just trust me, Bella. I have something planned, soon, and it will be perfect. You deserve perfect, Bella. I want to give you everything you deserve."

"I don't want perfect, Edward. It doesn't have to be what other people think of perfect, it just has to be you and me. That's all it will take to make it perfect, baby. Just you and me."

I was pulling him closer, kissing his lips and his face, when I felt him shake his head.

"Friday, my Love, I've worked really hard to set this up, and you're not making it easy for me to wait at all. I want you so bad I could die right now, but I really want to do this for you, for us. Okay? Please?"

Looking at the sincerity in his pleading eyes, I relented with a sigh.

"Okay, Edward." I kissed his forehead. "I love that you want to make it so sweet…but I swear to God, if you try to put me off again on Friday, I will tie you up and torture you until you give in."

His eyes grew wide and sparkled with excitement as a Cheshire cat smile spread across his face.

"Oooo, could we save that for another day?"

I laughed, smacking his chest playfully. He chuckled, sinking into the bed next to me. His long fingers left trails of tingling warmth as he traced shapes on my stomach with his index finger, burrowing his nose in my hair. We both sighed as we curled into one another to drift off to sleep once more, but this time with plans for an early morning wake up call to go meet Elizabeth.

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_**So we had spending time with Tanya, learning more about**__**Elizabeth, and two rounds of smut. I think it's a pretty well rounded chapter. Let me know what you think. Don't kill me for the delay in the actual lemon, but at least I gave you a time to expect it. In the next chapter you get EPOV. It will hopefully help you understand a little more about his reasons for waiting a bit longer. He has some valid ones! I love the reviews so keep them coming! **_


	23. Truth Revealed

**I HAVE GOTTEN A FEW CONFUSED MESSAGES. PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT I AM EDITING AND REPOSTING THE REST OF THE STORY TO FANFICTION ONCE AGAIN. IN THE MEANTIME THE ORIGINAL, UNCENSORED VERSION OF THIS STORY IS AVAILABLE ON TWCSLIBRARY DOT COM OR TWILIGHTED DOT NET.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters or the rights to the Kings of Leon song quoted in this chapter.**

_**Please note that this chapter has been slightly censored for erotic content.**_

_**I'm baaaacck and I bring Elizabeth confrontation drama and top it off with some more smutty goodness. Hope you enjoy the chapter! Kings of Leon song featured in this chapter has now been added to the EAM playlist.**_

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**Truth Revealed**

**EPOV**

It was barely light out when that annoying fucking alarm clock, the one that sounded like a dying duck being choked by a foghorn, started wailing in my ear. I slammed my hand around on the bedside table, trying to find the annoying piece of shit. Finally grabbing it, I yanked it to pull the power cord out of the wall, tossing it back on the table.

Bella moaned, rolling back into my side. She curled herself around me, tangling her legs with mine and resting her hand on my chest by her head. I snickered when she began to mumble in her sleep about putting the duck out of its misery. I started running my hand through her hair, burying my nose in her thick locks to help calm my nerves.

Interesting enough, I had recently discovered that Bella was this strange mixture of calming healer, while also being able to wind me up, driving me completely insane all at the same time. I'm not going to lie; I've been daydreaming about burying myself in her hot tight wet pussy for a long time. Within the past month, I've actually encouraged those daydreams instead of trying to squelch them down and ignore them. To have her begging me last night to make love to her was nothing short of pure agony. Fuck, if she only knew how close to caving I really was, she never would have backed down as quickly as she did. I'm glad she did though, because now I could do this the way I had hoped.

I loved the fact that she swore up and down that she didn't need it to be perfect, that she just needed for it to be the two of us. If I were completely honest though, I'd have to say that the whole big plan was as much for me as it was for her. This was going to be a first for both of us. We deserved it to be in a beautiful place, not in some random fleabag motel in a tiny town in the middle of Minnesota with my fucking Mommy issues hanging over my head. No, Friday we would be together, alone, in a place special to both of us. There wouldn't be any brothers, or friends, no exes, or deadbeat mothers, and no distractions…just Bella, me, a bottle of wine, some soft music, and some alone time. I couldn't fucking wait!

Bella shifted again, her knee brushing past my morning wood, causing me to hiss a little at the contact. It was at this point that I remembered we were still naked, realizing that my plans for our romantic first time together was still in jeopardy until we were fully clothed and out of this motel room. By the end of the day, we would be constantly surrounded by Emmett and the guys until Friday morning, when they would head home, and we would head to our next destination.

I carefully shifted, trying not to wake the nude sleeping beauty draped so temptingly across my body. I finally succeeded in sliding out from under her, slipping into the bathroom to take a shower and start gathering our things. We would check out soon and make our way up to Pendleton lodge. Once we were done with 'mom,' we would go directly to Minneapolis to meet the rest of the guys.

I stepped under the hot streams of water, immediately lost in the memories from yesterday of Bella. I don't think I had ever underestimated an experience in my life as much as I had underestimated the feel, smell, and taste of Bella. My fantasies, as hot as they were, were a pale, faded, ghostly impression of the reality. Oh god, I could experience the reality every day for the rest of my life and die a happy man.

My Bella may not be perfect; she may sometimes overreact, and be a bit neurotic. I'm certainly not perfect either…but we're most definitely perfect for each other. I had never considered marriage ever in my life, because I just couldn't see it. I could never see myself tied to one person for any amount of time, much less forever, but with Bella, that was all I could see. She was all I really wanted. I would have sworn a few months ago that would never happen, and yet it most definitely had.

I finished my shower in a haze of daydreams of marking Bella permanently as mine with a wedding ring and my moniker, if she would take it that is. Being the liberated professional that she is, I wondered if she'd insist on keeping her name Swan. I really hoped she would take my name or at least hyphenate it. Hmmm…Dr. Isabella Swan-Masen. It was a mouthful, but I couldn't help but harden at the idea of her bearing my last name. If that made me a caveman, then so be it.

I stepped out of the shower, toweling off quickly, still feeling my hair dripping on my shoulders. I slid on the boxers and jeans I had thought to bring with me in hopes of staving off temptation, before walking out, toweling my hair as I went to grab the shirt I had forgotten.

I stepped out of the doorway to find a gloriously naked Bella, leaning against the counter, smirking at me with crossed arms. My jeans grew tight as her lustful gaze danced from my eyes down my chest to land on my bulge, which twitched upon eye contact. Her gaze lazily traveled back to my face as she pushed off the counter, moving to stand in front of me, her hands immediately tracing a trail down my abs.

"You left me all alone in that cold bed, Mr. Masen. That wasn't very nice you know…" She leaned forward, placing a few strategically located open mouthed kisses on my pecs, causing them to lurch at the sensation, an involuntary groan escaping my mouth.

"You could have at the very least let me help you with your shower. I mean a girl's gotta clean up after getting so dirty too…" Holy shit this vixen was going to be the death of me. I created a fucking monster! I took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on the goal…Friday…gotta wait till Friday…where we'll be free from the baggage of this week…FRIDAY!

I smiled down, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She glanced up at me through her lashes, nearly breaking the recently collected mask on my face.

"Sorry, Love, I wanted you to get all the sleep you could. We really need to get going. I want to get this Elizabeth bullshit over with and get to Minneapolis."

I leaned down to kiss her lips before continuing them down to the hollow of her neck and back up to her ear where I whispered, "I promise though, MY Bella, that I will make the wait completely worth your while come Friday." I pulled her earlobe between my lips for a quick nibble, earning a groan as she leaned in closer, scratching her nails lightly down my chest before I pulled away.

"Get your shower, Love, I'm going to pick us up a quick breakfast and fill up the car. When I get back, we'll eat here and load up our stuff. Okay?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes with a small smile on her lips. "Okay." She rolled her neck, wincing as her neck popped so loudly that I could hear it.

"Holy shit, babe! You okay?" I blurted reaching forward to massage her muscles with my fingers as I stared at her face, looking for how much honesty she was going to provide in her answer.

She shrugged, "It gets like that sometimes, especially when my life's been particularly stressful. I think I would qualify the last week or so with this Trager mess as a likely cause. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? Sweetheart, I heard that all the way over here! That can't be good for you."

She took in a big breath and let out a chuckle, reaching her hand up to rest on my cheek with a wide smile. "You are so completely overprotective of me. It'd piss me off it weren't so sweet and freaking sexy!" She tipped up to kiss me chastely on the lips before sliding past me into the bathroom, rubbing every inch of her along me as she traveled.

She second the door was closed, I practically ran out of the room. I jumped into my Volvo, speeding down the street toward the gas station, shifting uncomfortably in my seat as I drove. I filled the tank and then made my way to the restaurant where Tanya worked, pleased to see her working behind the counter.

She looked up with a wide smile and a twinkle in her eyes, "Edward! Where's Bella?" She looked around behind me for my better half.

"She's in the shower. I'm picking up breakfast to bring back to the room so we can eat before we check out. Any suggestions?"

She wiggled her eyebrows at me when I mentioned Bella in the shower before chuckling lightly. "The French Toast is awesome. I highly recommend it."

I laughed and nodded. "Fine, give me two orders with bacon on the side."

She nodded, turning to place the order in the kitchen. Soon she returned to stand in front of me, sliding a cup full of coffee on the counter between my hands.

"So did you call her yet?" Tanya asked looking concerned.

I shook my head. "I decided to just show up. You already told her I'm in town, so she shouldn't be too surprised to see me."

She nodded with a sigh before looking back up with a smile that caused her eyes to shine a bit.

"I have to tell you, I really like Bella. She seems like a really nice person. Boy does she ever seem to bring out the best in you. You better hold onto her."

I smiled, taking a big swig of the hot coffee, "I fully plan on it."

Tanya's eyebrows shot up in question.

I just sort of shrugged with a nod.

"Really?" she squeaked.

"What can I say, when you finally find 'the one,' you hold on as tight as you can and never let them go."

She smiled brightly at me, reaching her hand out to place on top of mine, squeezing it hard before patting it twice. "That's right, Eddie, you hold on with both hands for all you're worth."

I groaned at the old nickname, but didn't argue. When I was young, my parents started the Eddie thing. Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle picked up on it right away. When I started school, I insisted on Edward, but I never had the heart to tell Tanya not to call me Eddie when she heard everyone I cared about call me by the hated nickname. Even now, after all of these years, I still didn't have the heart to tell her how much I hated it. Now there are exactly four people on this earth allowed to call me Eddie without my wrath raining down on them: my Aunt and Uncle, Tanya as my oldest friend, and Bella, the love of my life.

She looked at me funny after the groan, chuckling at my reaction before she continued on. "I'm still shocked to think that you, of all people, are already thinking of taking that plunge after the way you got to be in high school. I guess true love changes everything." She sighed, looking down at her hand. "Maybe one day I'll find out what that's like."

I smiled and patted the back of her hand. "Trust me, if I was lucky enough to find it, then so will you. I learned one valuable lesson, sometimes it can be under your nose the whole time and you just don't see it until it's almost too late."

She nibbled her lip in a very Bella-like fashion that thankfully didn't have the same effect on me as when Bella did it, crinkling the skin between her brows. She had a worried expression that made me wish I knew what was bothering her. She reached down, fiddling with the tie of her apron at her waist, smoothing it out absentmindedly a second then sighed and nodded back at me. I wasn't sure what had gone through her mind, but she seemed pretty troubled by it. I began hoping even more that Bella and I could make some arrangements to help her out. It wasn't good for her to be stuck here all alone.

A large man in a white apron bellowed from the back and Tanya disappeared. She returned with a sack full of styrofoam carryout containers. "I threw in some extra napkins, silverware, butter, and some strawberry topping and cool whip in containers in case you want to put them on top. Tell Bella I said hi and that I hope we get a chance to talk again soon."

I took the bag, shooting her a wide smile. After tossing another hundred on the counter, I waved and stepped through the doorway. I slid back into the Volvo with the food in the passenger seat, careful to secure it so there would be no spills to ruin the interior. I slowly made my way back to our room, hoping against hope that she'd be dressed when I arrived. The sight of her in nothing but that damn white towel again would most definitely submarine my Friday plans.

To my relief, I walked in to find her fully dressed and ready to go. Both of our bags had been packed and sitting by the front door. We spread the food out on the bed between us, eating as I told her about seeing Tanya and what she had asked me to tell Bella. Bella smiled greedily when she saw the container of strawberries and whipped cream, putting a large dollop of both on her French toast and humming contentedly after each bite. I smiled, leaning over to lick the whipped cream off the corner of her mouth where a smudge was left behind. That resulted in a short match of tonsil hockey before we finished our breakfast, cleaned up our mess, and loaded up the car.

Stopping by the front office first to check out of our room, we pulled onto the road to begin our hour long trip to Pendleton Lodge and Ski Resort. As we drove, Bella's gaze shifted between me and the scenery as we wound our way through the countryside. She held my hand between us, occasionally brushing her thumb over the back in a comforting gesture.

Part of me wanted to get this the fuck over with, and another part, a bigger part, wanted to run away and just forget the whole thing. Elizabeth had no desire to see me all of these years, why should I bother? Then I thought of what Bella said, knowing she was right. If I ever wanted to move on, I needed to tell her how I feel, get it all off my chest. In order to move forward, I needed to confront my past.

We drove up a long winding road, seeing a tall A framed lodge poking out from the side of the mountain above us. The closer we got to the lodge, the larger it loomed ahead of us. My chest seemed to tighten with every mile of progress.

All too soon, we had reached the resort, pulling in front of the building, which was one large glass plate. A valet came scurrying out to park the car. I handed over the key in a dazed state while Bella came around to my side, hugging herself tightly to me. I reached both arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly. I was desperately trying to secure myself to what was grounding me both physically and emotionally in that moment. I hated to lean on Bella this much, but the simple truth was that I needed her…desperately.

We went toward the large double doors leading to the lodge entryway, stepping through into the rustic room with the high ceiling, crisscrossed by large dark wooden beams. The entire room smelled of hickory wood smoke. Despite my frustrations with Elizabeth, I had to admit this place was quite beautiful. If it weren't for the situation I was in, I would even say it was relaxing.

Bella and I approached a young girl manning the check-in desk who watched us with curiosity. I stared back, quietly willing my mouth to speak, and yet not accomplishing my task.

Bella spoke up for us. "Hi, yes, um we're here to see Elizabeth Pendleton."

The young girl furrowed her brow, cocking her head as she appraised me, asking if we were expected. Bella explained that we arrived without calling first, but that Elizabeth knew I was in town and was expecting to hear from me. At that moment, a light dawned in the young girl's eyes.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Masen. I should have known from the eyes and the hair, but I haven't seen any recent pictures to recognize you to go by. I do apologize. I will call up to her quarters; she will come down shortly."

I felt my brow furrow in confusion at her words. Bella thanked her and led me over to a couch in front of a large stone fireplace. She took a seat, still holding my hand. I started to sit next to her, halting when I saw the top of the mantle. I strode over to stand in front.

The mantle was covered in pictures of families with my mother sitting happily next to an attractive looking older gentleman who appeared only slightly older than herself. I couldn't help but be shocked at how much older she appeared in the picture. After all, it had been thirteen years since last I set eyes on the woman, and a decade did much to change a person's looks. I couldn't help but notice what Tanya mentioned; she did appear happy…for the first time since before my father died she had a light in her eyes.

My eyes grazed over the old family photos of the man only much younger, a pretty younger woman and four children surrounding them. It was then that the faces all started to make sense. These photos were of his children and their families.

My eyes grazed over the photos one by one before I froze; my heart stopped and my chest tightened as I struggled for breath. There, in a matching golden frame, was a picture of me at about ten years old with my father and mother. Next to that photo was a collection of three other photos of my mother and I together looking happy, maternal love glowing in her eyes. I felt tears form along the ridge of my lower lid. What the hell was this?

I felt two tiny warm arms around my waist moments before her head pop up under my arm. A small gasp escaped her lips as her arms tightened, her hands unclasped so that her left one could rub soothing circles on my back.

We stood like that for an immeasurable stretch of time, as I stared in sickening wonder at the pictures on the mantel. She abandoned me, only came back in hopes of absconding with my trust fund, and yet she kept pictures of me on the mantle in the lodge her new husband owned? Was this all just some kind of sick way of fitting in, making herself look like the perfect mother she most definitely is not? What kind of sick fucking joke was this shit? I felt the anger begin to boil; only contained from actually exploding in a fit of broken glass and flying picture frames because of Bella's touch and caress.

I closed my eyes, trying to slow my breathing, when the small sound of a throat being cleared behind us caused me to turn and find myself face to face with my mother. She seemed much smaller now that I was a full grown man than she had seemed when I was a child.

She was only slighter taller than Bella, which made me a full six inches taller than her. Her once reddish bronze hair that matched mine almost perfectly was now lightened with the intrusion of white and gray. She smiled brightly at me from across the room before shifting her focus to Bella. As she examined Bella's comforting hold on me, her smile faded and her eyes grew a bit cold.

She looked back at me, recovering as she crossed the floor with her arms open, as though she had only been gone seventeen weeks as opposed to seventeen years.

"Edward, my beautiful Edward, you have grown into such an incredibly handsome man!"

Bella relaxed her hold and began to step back, but I grabbed her arms and made her stay, holding tightly. When Elizabeth wrapped her arms around my neck, I immediately tensed.

"Elizabeth," I responded tersely.

She stepped back and eyed me with a hurt expression before shaking the look and smiling again.

"Oh, come along dear, you must see the rest of the lodge. Once I've given you the tour, we can talk over some coffee in the private parlor."

She turned, sauntering ahead of us as if everything were normal and there was no bad history between us. I found myself wondering if the woman was fucking insane. She led us in circles through the monstrous building, chattering nonstop about wainscoting and artistically carved timber. I didn't really hear a thing she said, just followed her in a slight state of shock.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, she led us into a small parlor, leaving Bella and I to sit on a floral couch as she disappeared. I felt my hand tighten on Bella's, which hadn't left my embrace since we began our tour of the opulent place Elizabeth now called home, when I noticed more pictures in here of all of the families from the other room. The photos included more recent ones where Elizabeth proudly hugged this man's children and cuddled his grandchildren. As I stared at the images of her looking at their faces with pride, my resentment grew more palpable with every second.

Soon she returned, pushing a cart covered in pastries with a carafe of coffee and three mugs. She began to pour and pass them out to Bella and I before finally settling in a blue velvety looking armchair with a crocheted decoration on the back. She took a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes and humming, before sitting it down. She crossed her legs, grasping her hands in her lap.

"It's so nice to see you, Edward. I'm so glad you finally decided to come up and pay me a visit."

I felt the heat in my face as my anger bubbled over the edge of my filter. "What the fuck do you mean 'finally pay you a visit'? I didn't even know for sure that you were even fucking alive until last week. How the fuck am I supposed to pay you a visit if I don't even know where the fuck you are?"

Bella let go of my hand and began to run her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. I felt part of my tension abate as some of the heat in my face cooled. Elizabeth looked shocked at first before her eyes narrowed on Bella's hand comforting me.

"Edward, I sent you several letters letting you know where I was. I thought you simply chose not to respond."

"I never got any fucking letters. I think you're lying. Did you even know where to send them?"

"I had a private investigator find you soon after I married Drew. He returned to me with your school address at Northwestern and some other information about the company you were keeping."

At this, her eyes flashed evilly at Bella. I reached my hand out to rest on her thigh protectively. For some reason, Elizabeth seemed to be holding some kind of resentment against Bella.

"Well obviously he got the address wrong. I have to say though, if you were serious about wanting to contact me, you would have sent it to Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle's, Elizabeth. You should have known they would be in contact with me and would pass on the letters. I don't believe you ever sent any letters."

"First of all, I did send letters. Secondly, I would really like to know why you keep referring to me as Elizabeth. I am your mother. And finally, if I sent the letters to Esme and Carlisle, I did not believe that you would receive them."

I scoffed at her comment. "You have to earn the title of 'Mother,' Elizabeth. When I was ten you were worthy of the moniker, but you threw that away when you abandoned me and left me with Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle's maid! And yes, I would have received any letters you sent to their home, because they would have left it up to me if I wanted to hear from you."

"Obviously not, or else you would have received the birthday cards I sent you there for years."

"Oh, you mean the three cards before you showed up wasted with your Euro trash husband, trying to get your hands on my trust fund? Or the two that followed where the writing was barely legible, because I watched those curl up into embers in the fireplace. Yeah, Elizabeth, you were definitely mother of the year."

This time she scoffed, "You think I was the gold digger after your trust fund? Why don't you look to your left, my love? Are you trying to tell me the little girl who glommed onto you and stole your college years was more infatuated with you, rather than your bank account and visions of being a kept woman?"

I stood up, glaring down at the laughable excuse for a mother sitting across from me. "Watch yourself, Elizabeth. Nobody talks about the woman I love that way, especially the woman who screwed me up so badly that I nearly missed out on having love in my life at all. You will show Bella respect."

I sat back down with tension still straining in my muscles. I grabbed Bella's right hand, stroking her Claddagh ring with my thumb. I noticed Bella nervously reach forward for her coffee mug, as it shook slightly in her unsteady hand. I tightened my grasp on her hand. I never expected for Elizabeth to attack Bella, now I'm wishing I hadn't brought her along.

Elizabeth's eyes drifted to the ring, her mouth drawing into a thin line. "Jesus, Edward, you gave her my grandmother's ring? You seriously don't believe that she's not in it for the three hundred million sitting in the bank in your name?"

As Elizabeth's words escaped into the air, I heard Bella choking next to me, a spray of coffee spewing on the coffee table in front of her. I looked over at her wide eyes and her red face. I laughed, in spite of the whole situation, at Bella's shock. I reached down, grabbing a napkin, handing it to her, as I took her mug, setting it carefully down on the table.

"You okay, Love?"

She nodded, still in shock. I smiled and ran my hand across her cheek before turning back to Elizabeth with fire burning in my eyes.

"I think her reaction speaks louder than any words. Until this very moment, Bella had no clue how much money was in my account. She honestly didn't care. Matter of fact, she throws a fit if I buy her anything. She's a successful medical student on her own merit, making her way through school using what little insurance money her parents left behind, even taking extra classes in order to graduate early. I'm pretty sure even now, knowing how much I have in the bank, she will still refuse to let me buy her the new laptop I've been trying to get her for the past two weeks, not to mention anything resembling her being kept."

I turned my face back to my still shell shocked Bella. With a smile, I tucked an errant strand of hair away from her face, cupping her cheek as I finished my speech. "So yes, Elizabeth, I believe wholeheartedly that she would be sitting here even if I didn't have two pennies to rub together."

I about melted at the warmth behind Bella's eyes as she gaze up at me adoringly. I definitely knew my girl well, and I was right. I wanted to buy her beautiful clothes, a nice car, a new state of the art laptop, and anything else that would make her life easier, but I knew she would never accept it.

She sighed and nodded, turning to kiss my hand. I let myself get lost in her eyes for a moment before turning back toward the woman that had broken my soul so many years ago.

"I'm not here to talk about this, Elizabeth. My relationship with Bella is none of your concern and completely off limits. What I'm here for is answers. I want to know why. Why did you leave me? Why didn't you come back for me? How can a mother stop loving her son and leave him to grieve alone?"

I could hear my voice cracking. I felt Bella scoot closer to wrap one arm around me while stroking my leg with the other soothingly.

"I was hurting too. I lost my father damn it! But you couldn't stop long enough to take care of me? Didn't you love me at all? Didn't I fucking mean anything to you?"

I looked over to see her eyes dim, her posture slouched, and finally the proper little mask she had on this whole time was gone.

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say. When...when your father died, a piece of me died with him. I simply couldn't function on my own, much less take care of you. I was deeply depressed and simply lost. A part of me knew I should be pushing past it for you, helping you, but I just, I just couldn't. I couldn't handle the pain and the loss. I started drinking to kill the pain. It worked, I didn't hurt anymore, but I didn't do anything else either. Don't you remember Edward? Don't you remember begging me to get up and make supper because you hadn't eaten all day? Don't you remember how you were practically starving, and I was so drunk I couldn't even walk? Don't you remember living off of cold cuts and cereal for weeks because that was all you could make for yourself?"

Her voice cracked and she broke down into sobs, "Don't you remember having to help me up off the floor when I was so drunk I couldn't get up on my own? Don't you remember nearly burning down the house when you finally got sick of eating the same things and attempted to make spaghetti? Does any of this strike a memory?"

I sat there in shock. I had actually forgotten. I didn't remember any of that until she said it, and then faint memories floated into my mind in a haze of sadness and depression. I had been barely functional myself. I was depressed, so much so that I simply blocked out those horrible times. I felt the silent tears roll down my face as she continued.

"I had to leave you in the only place that I knew you would be safe and cared for. It hurt like hell, but I knew I had to do it for you, Edward. I left you with the maid because if I stayed a minute longer, I wouldn't have the strength to leave. I was also in desperate need of more self medication to survive the choice. I went home, buried myself in a fifth of Jack Daniels, packed up all of my clothes and the money I had withdrawn from the bank, and disappeared. I never forgot you though, my darling. I never stopped loving you...I just didn't remember how to survive anymore, much less take care of you."

Elizabeth sniffled. I felt Bella get up, crossing the room and returning to offer a tissue box to Elizabeth. She slowly pulled one from the box, gazed at Bella a softer look. Then, Bella offered one to me, before taking one herself and setting the box on the table between all of us.

"I spent the next several years in a perpetual state of inebriation. I dipped into deeper and deeper methods of self medication, hard alcohol, eventually drugs, and then harder drugs. I stayed in expensive hotels until I was kicked out for my inappropriate behavior and company. I blew through half a billion dollars in four years, just hiding from everything. Right before the last of the money was gone, I met Caius. Before he knew my money was gone, I married him, thinking that his money would provide for me. Little did I know, he was in the same boat. It didn't take long before we were destitute. I was so strung out and addicted to the life I was living, that I actually stooped so low as to try to go and get you back just so I could get my hands on your trust fund."

My stomach churned to hear the truth as she shook her head in self loathing. All of these years, I was haunted by thoughts and fears, many of which were true, while others were not as much. It was obvious she felt shame in her actions. Part of me still wondered if it was all a master manipulation by the queen of the puppeteers, but a bigger part of me believed her sad tale.

She sniffled again, wiping at her eyes with the tissue in her hand before looking at me, sincerity plaguing her green eyes that so resembled my own.

"That was the lowest pointing my life, Edward. I want you to know that. I am so ashamed of myself for the things I did back then. It still took me three whole years before I finally got away from Caius and that whole lifestyle, finally finding help for myself. I was tucked away for over a year in a facility, detoxing and learning how to deal with everything. I finally faced the pain of losing your father, the pain of letting you go; I dealt with it all and finally learned to live with myself."

"I came back to the Midwest in hopes of connecting with you again, but first I had to get my life set up, which was far more difficult than I imagined. I wanted to be established before I approached you, knowing after the way I had come in and out of your life last time that you would never believe that I was serious. I chose to live in Minneapolis since it was one of the closer and more prosperous cities. I began to rebuild my life, brick by brick. By some miracle, someone granted mercy on me, giving me a job at a travel agency. I began booking clients for vacations, and that's how I met Drew. He came in to work with us on creating vacation packages to his resort."

Her face brightened at the mention of her husband. I watched with fascination as her posture began to straighten once more and the tears slowed.

"At first he was simply a good friend. We would share coffee and talk. Eventually, I ended up telling him everything. He knows all about you, what a wonderful child you were, how gifted you were at anything you attempted, how loving and caring and kind hearted you were, and I hope you still are."

She glanced at Bella and out of the corner of my eye I saw her nod, her hands once again soothing my back. It felt nice, since it was beginning to ache now that my anger and tension were beginning to fade little by little.

"After a couple of years, we realized we had fallen in love and were married. It saddened me that you weren't there with me. I wanted you to be. I knew that my life was finally starting to fall into place enough that I could hopefully reach out to you. Drew convinced me to hire a private investigator, since I wasn't sure if Carlisle and Esme would allow me to see you or pass on any correspondence. I was quite sure they both hated me, since they most certainly have a reason to. I sent off the letters in hopes of a positive response. As the months of silence wore on, I finally began to give up hope, thinking you must hate me more than I had ever realized. It broke my heart, but I couldn't blame you. I abandoned you when you needed me the most." She began to sob again, bending over at the waist, rocking back and forth.

"I'm sorry, my son, my sweet little boy. I failed you in so many ways. I know I don't deserve for you to call me Mom, but hopefully, some day, I will get the chance to earn the title back."

She looked up at me through her tears as I realized mine were just as heavy as hers. I still held so much resentment, but at the same time, I needed to hold her close. I needed to know she loved me. I needed to feel it again.

Before I knew it, I was kneeling beside her. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I leaned against her shoulder and we cried together. Emotions I hadn't really dealt with in ages washed over me in a tidal wave, decades worth of resentment and pain bubbling to the surface. I lost all track of time as we stayed there together, crying.

When we finally broke apart, my knees screamed from the prolonged strain of the position we had been sitting in. I looked back to see Bella wasn't there. I guess she had left to give us our privacy.

My mother and I shifted so we were sitting next to each other on the couch. We tentatively held hands, talking about the things she went through in rehab and therapy. I told her about my teen years and how I had shut myself off from the world. I explained about the shell I had become, how I reserved myself from all relationships in order to protect myself. I told her how I had battled for years with my feelings for Bella before she woke me up again, bringing me back to life and helping me learn to love again.

Elizabeth's smile grew when I told her about my Bella and the rest of the guys, how they all helped to change my life, but how Bella was the key to my happiness. When I finished telling her exactly how much I loved her, I looked at Elizabeth's eyes to see them brimming with tears.

"Oh, my sweet Edward! I'm so sorry that you suffered for so long, but I'm so happy that you found true love. What you are describing is exactly what I had with your father and then was lucky enough to find again with Drew."

She frowned, staring down at her hands as they fidgeted in her lap. "I'm truly sorry for how I acted and the things I said about her earlier. I was so very wrong. The way it all appeared on paper, it looked as though she and her brother were taking advantage of you. Their finances made no sense until you explained the death of their parents and the insurance money. I guess I was just trying to protect you in the way that I was never capable of doing in your youth. I really am sorry. I will apologize to her before you leave."

I reached my hand over and grabbed one of hers, squeezing softly.

"Thank you." I sighed deeply, running my hands through my hair. Elizabeth giggled, reaching over to run her hand through the wild locks. "Still my color and still with your father's crazy cowlicks, making it stick up every which way. Your hair was the bane of my existence when you were young, it would not stay down no matter what I did!"

I chuckled, looking at the clock in surprise. "Oh, poor Bella. We've been in here alone for over two hours. She must be bored out of her mind! I need to go find her."

"I'll come with you. I need to thank her for brining you back to life after all," she said as she elbowed me in the side.

"We both need to thank her. I feel so much differently now, like a weight has been lifted now that I know the truth. I'm not sure I would have actually come if she hadn't encouraged me. She told me I needed to come confront you and find out what really happened or the questions would haunt me far worse than the truth, no matter what it was...and she was so right."

Elizabeth, who I was starting to feel more and more like she could be my mother again, wrapped her arms around my elbow and walked with me through the house, resting her head on my bicep with a sigh.

"It seems I owe her far more than I could ever repay. I just hope she can accept my apologies."

I smiled down at her, patting her hand. "Bella is the most forgiving person I know. Trust me, if anyone would forgive you, it would be her."

As we wandered around the lodge, I began to get concerned as room after room showed no signs of Bella. Panic began to rise in my chest as I had one last idea.

"To be honest, I don't remember much of the tour, being in a daze from everything. You don't by chance have a library here do you?"

She looked up and smiled, guiding me down a long hallway to the back end of the lodge. We entered a room that ended with the back of the building, another glass filled end of the A frame. Tall shelves of books surrounded the other three walls. Sure enough, lying across a couch in front of the fireplace with a book open across her chest, was Bella. Her hair was over the arm in a halo of soft mahogany waves, hands perched by her face. The sun caught the diamond in the Claddagh, glimmering at me from her left ring finger perched next to her face, serene in sleep. I sighed involuntarily at the sight. Elizabeth chuckled at my side.

"Oh my, you are completely and totally smitten aren't you, my little Eddie?"

My heart leapt slightly in my chest both at the fact that I was indeed completely and totally taken by the beauty on the couch, and also the sound of my mother's voice calling me the nickname of my childhood with such sweetness and care. I nodded soundlessly as she let go of my arm, whispering to me that she would be in the lobby when we were ready. She tiptoed out of the room, leaving me alone with my angel.

I crept over to the couch, kneeling down beside her head, my knees screaming at me when I made my descent. Once I was finally in place, I reached my hand up. running my fingers through the soft tendrils on to the top of her forehead, pushing them back over the arm of the chair. Grazing her cheek with my fingertips, I leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her lips.

I pulled back again in time to see her eyes flutter open, a slow smile gracing her beautiful lips.

"Hi, my love. I'm sorry we left you alone for so long."

She shook her head. "Oh no, it's okay. So how did it go?"

I smiled down at her and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Thank you for encouraging me to come and for being here to hold my hand. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me. We talked a long time. I really think, after all of these years, that we are finally in a better place."

She smiled, reaching her hand up to run it through my wild hair. "Good. I'm so glad, sweetheart."

"Elizabeth would like to talk to you before we leave. She wants to apologize for how she acted earlier. After I explained our lives and how important you are to me, after all you've done for me, she feels really horrible."

Bella frowned, looking concerned as she bit her lip tentatively. "Why did she hate me so much when we arrived?"

I sighed, standing up, offering her my hand. She allowed me to help her to stand before leading her back toward the front of the lodge.

"That private eye she hired researched you and Emmett just enough to know you were living above your apparent financial means, but never bothering to look far enough to find out about your parents insurance money. I guess on paper, it looked like you two were conning me into supporting you off my trust."

She turned to me open mouthed and wide eyed before snapping her mouth closed with a loud pop, "Well, I guess that would do it!"

I chuckled and pulled her tighter to my side as we entered the lobby. "He also didn't bother to tell her that I was finishing my last year of school when he gave her my contact information. Since all of my important mail still went to Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle's, I didn't leave a forwarding address. The guy sounds like a bit of a hack if you ask me."

Bella nodded her head at my side as we approached the couches in the large open lobby.

Elizabeth asked to speak to Bella alone, inviting her to sit next to her on the couch in front of the large roaring fireplace. I made use of the restrooms and decided to give Emmett a call to see where the guys were, glancing in occasionally to make sure all was okay with Bella and Elizabeth. After the heartfelt interactions for the first few minutes, they sat side by side on the couch talking animatedly with full smiles on their faces. I smiled back.

"Edward! How'd things go with the Taming of the Shrew?" What an Emmett thing to say when answering the phone.

I chuckled, "Far better than I ever thought possible."

"Really? Well fuck me!"

"Yeah, tell me about it! How you guys doing on time?"

"We'll be there in about three hours. What about you guys?"

I leaned out for another glance to see Bella gesturing wildly and Elizabeth's head thrown back in laughter and I smiled.

"We're about four hours away if we leave now, but I have a feeling it might be a while yet. I'll give you a shout when we head out okay?"

"Fine with me dude...we packed pajamas and things for one night in case you didn't make it with our stuff on the first night for whatever reason."

"Okay man...drive safe."

"That goes double for you...you have my baby sis in that car of yours. Don't forget!"

I laughed a bit harder. "Don't think that could ever happen, Em!"

"Better not."

"Bye, Em!"

"Bye, Edward."

I walked back into the room just in time to hear Elizabeth finish telling a story to Bella about my naked three year old phase when she couldn't seem to keep clothes on me. Bella almost fell off the couch in laughter.

"Just you wait, Bella. One day you guys will have a son who will probably do the exact same thing to you! Then you'll be calling me up, asking me for advice."

I looked down at Bella and smiled brightly. Images of little mixtures of Bella and I running around the house filled my mind. While there was a time in my life that the idea would terrify the shit out of me, I kind of liked the idea...in an abstract far in the future sort of way at least.

I settled onto the couch behind Bella, snuggling her close, relishing in her comforting presence. We talked with Elizabeth for another couple of hours before her husband came in the front doors. As we were introduced, I couldn't help but like Drew immediately. He seemed like a completely genuine and honest guy. At their insistence, we stayed for a quick supper before heading back south toward Minneapolis.

While we drove through the dark night, I couldn't help but smile at the results of the day. Hearing all of my long lost mother's shady and less than stellar past was difficult. Remembering how hard life was with her after my father's death and finding out the real reason she left me as the way she had was even harder. I had spent so many years believing she left me so she could have fun because I was a hindrance, but really, she left me somewhere safe while she went off to self destruct without taking me down with her. It still hurt that she couldn't be the mother I needed her to be, but I was grateful that she gave me the chance at a stabile life instead of risking me right along with her.

Bella sat in the passenger seat, beaming at me whenever I glanced over occasionally. I began getting a bit concerned at the devious look that was forming on her face.

After a while, she reached into the duffel bag in the back, pulling out her iPod and plugging it into the sound system. She scrolled through the list and hit play. The driving guitar line for Kings of Leon _Sex On Fire_ filled the air. Bella looked over with a smirk and I grew instantly hard. Oh Fuck!

She undid her seatbelt, slowly leaning across the arm rest, placing kisses along my neck. She nibbled on my ear as her hand slid down my stomach and across my abs. Then she whispered in my ear how sexy I was and how much she loved me.

_Lay where you're laying, don't make a sound_  
_I know they're watching, they're watching_  
_All the commotion, the kiddie like play_  
_Has people talking, talking_

_You, your sex is on fire_

Her hand slipped down as the chorus began. She massaged me through my jeans a second before popping the button and pulling the zipper down quickly. She whispered in my ear that she was dying to taste me. I growled as my hands tightened on the wheel, causing my knuckles to turn bone white.

When the next verse began, I tried desperately to stay on the road as she leaned over me, taking me into her mouth, but the sensations made my eyelids flutter closed involuntarily. I moaned her name, still in disbelief that my sweet Bella was such a fucking vixen. Hell yes and thank you!

_The dark of the alley, the breaking of day_  
_The head while I'm driving, I'm driving_  
_Soft lips are open, knuckles are pale_  
_Feels like you're dying, you're dying_

_You, your sex is on fire_  
_Consumed with what's to transpire_

Bella was way too talented at this. It made me both frustrated and grateful at the same time. She kept teasing me, dragging things out as long as possible. It was sweet torture.

_Hot as a fever, rattling bones_  
_I could just taste it, taste it_  
_If it's not forever, if it's just tonight_  
_Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest_

_You, your sex is on fire_  
_And you, your sex is on fire_  
_Consumed with what's to transpire_

Just when the torture of the song and her mouth began to wind to an end, she finally granted me mercy, allowing me to find my release.

"Fuck, Bella! Oh Shit!" was all I could say. I repeated it over and over, doing my best to keep us on the road, shivering from the climax. The song began to come to its conclusion as Bella sat up, looking at me smugly.

She leaned in slowly, kissing my mouth, letting me taste myself on her tongue before sliding back into her seat and slipping her seatbelt into place. She picked up the iPod to scan through the selections like nothing had just happened, while I was still fighting to catch my breath.

_And you, your sex is on fire_  
_Consumed with what's to transpire_

We reached the suburb just west of Minneapolis sometime around eleven o'clock, quickly finding our hotel for the next few days. Bella called the guys who all came down to get their stuff. They gave Bella big hugs while I carried our things up to our room, eager to avoid eye contact with Emmett. I was pretty damn sure that if he ever knew what happened in that car, I would be black and blue come morning, but fuck was it ever worth it.

Bella followed soon after, quietly getting ready for bed, taking her time. She put on a conservative pair of flannel pajamas with pants and a matching long sleeve button up shirt. It didn't matter though, because no matter what, I was still hard for her. Even more now than before, since I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that under that conservative girl next door outer layer lurked the sexiest vixen ever, just waiting to pop out and surprise me when I least expected it.

I curled up behind her in bed, burying my face in her long hair. I fell asleep humming Sex on Fire in my head.


	24. Empowering and Contentment

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. The beauty of fanfiction, I can play with them all I want as long as you know that fact.**

_**Today you get to see the return of Bella Annie Oakley. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for all the reviews. Please Enjoy!**_

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**Empowering and Contentment**

**EPOV**

I woke up to my vibrating cell phone before the sun rose on Tuesday morning. I had opted for a pocket wake up call so I had a chance to meet the guys without waking the beauty sleeping next to me. It had been a long couple of days, there was absolutely no reason for her to be woken at the butt crack of dawn just to sit around a hotel room bored to tears all day while we were at training.

She moaned slightly, curling her arms around my pillow. She buried her face in it when I slid out of the bed, then she stilled once more, resuming her cute light snore which indicated she was really out. Thankfully, she didn't have any buzzsaw tendencies; instead it was more like a little hum.

I moved as stealthily as possible to wash up, sliding into my clothes. I took a few moments to write a note for her on the hotel stationary, laying it next to her on the bed. I kissed her forehead and exited the room, making as little noise as possible.

When the door was finally closed, I turned to face the amused expressions of the rest of the team who almost immediately began to guffaw loudly. I cursed under my breath, threatening to kick their asses if they woke her up. They rolled their eyes, making fun of me some more as we made our way over to the elevators. In the lobby, we grabbed a few items off the continental breakfast bar then piled in the van, heading to the shoot house.

Once we arrived, Emmett and I immediately asked George, personal friend to our chief and the owner, if there were any good shooting ranges nearby for Bella. He smiled and pointed to a long white building a quarter mile up the road, which happened to be another part of their training facilities. We thanked the man and he showed us around before we settled into work.

This place didn't provide any new information, or even come close to the intensity of last week's training at Camp Ripley, but the live fire portion of the simulation definitely added an edge. We pushed through our morning, discovering we would get an hour for lunch each day, so we decided to call Bella and swung by the hotel to pick her up.

On the way, I grabbed my phone and put a call in to Jake. I started to get concerned when the phone rang for the fifth time, but then Jake picked up, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Everything okay, Jake? You sound like you've been running a marathon!"

I heard him chuckle on the other end of the line. "Sorry, Edward, just, uh, working out."

"Making use of the gym are we? What do you think of the facilities?" I asked curious about his answer.

"Uh, yeah. Great equipment."

"So you don't mind it being in the basement? Sometimes I think it's a little dark and dank down there. I'd much rather have it on one of the upper floors, but then you're losing apartment space."

"Oh, I don't mind at all, Edward. It would be a total waste of good living space to have it anywhere else."

I smirked. He was totally lying his ass off, since the gym actually was on the ground floor and had three walls of glass that looked out at the city streets beyond. I had no doubt he was getting a workout though, it just better as hell not be in my bed!

"So, any signs of Trager? Do you think he's bought the decoy?"

I could almost hear Jacob's smile. "Oh yeah, I've seen him every time we've gone out. This morning he got really sloppy. I think he might be getting desperate, though. I don't think we'll be going out for a couple of days, just to be safe."

I smirked, not really able to blame him. If Melissa hadn't been my employee, just been some girl I met out at a club or something, I probably would have made a pass at her once upon a time.

"Okay, Jake, but do me a favor and at least go down to the first floor, or step out front for some air occasionally while sticking close, just to see if you can spot him. I want to make absolutely fucking sure he's in Chicago while we're here. Okay?"

"Sure thing, Edward. Is Bella okay now?"

"Yeah, she's fine. We're good."

"Good." I heard a rustling sound over the speaker before I heard his voice come back across the line. "Okay man, well you guys...uh...be careful and keep your eyes peeled. I'll do the same. Talk to you...later."

"Bye, Jake." I ended the call, chuckling while I slid my phone back into the neoprene case on my hip.

"What's so funny?" Emmett asked from behind the wheel of the van.

"I think Jake is enjoying his new assignment quite a bit more than I originally anticipated."

"Way to go, Jake!" Emmett boomed from the front seat. We all laughed.

Bella was standing right inside the door, watching for us when we pulled into the circular drive in front of the building. She ran out as I opened the door, jumping into the van with a giddy smile on her face. She slammed the door behind her, sliding into the empty seat next to me.

"I am so glad you guys can have lunch with me. I was going stir crazy in there!"

We all sat and ate as a group, telling Bella about our morning and what we learned on the shooting range. We promised to take her to that evening. I gave her the Trager update, that he's still tailing Jake and Melissa and my suspicions about the two of them. She smiled brightly and sighed, admitting that she too had noticed the chemistry between them. As we sat and talked, we managed to loose all track of time. We rushed to return Bella to the hotel and get back to the house just in time for our afternoon session.

When we were finished for the day, we all groggily wandered back to the hotel. We showered and grabbed Bella, taking her back out to the shooting range near where we were training.

We walked together as a group into the shooting range, having reserved several stalls in a row to practice and to give Bella the chance to take her time reacquainting herself with the feel of a gun. Little did we know going in that time wasn't really going to be necessary.

Bella had a wide smile on her face as she quickly walked toward the large metal doors. She nearly left us behind as we made our way into the building, each carrying our side arms. The minute the door was opened, we were met with the ear numbing sounds of gunfire and the strong lingering smell of the gunpowder residue that left a slightly metallic taste on the tongue. These sensations alone would make most girls cringe and back away, but not my Bella. No, she had a bounce in her step as she confidently walked up to the front desk to check out ear protection. When she turned to look back at us, the twinkle in her eyes and the excited smile was so contagious that we found ourselves smiling back in the same way.

She introduced herself to the man behind the desk, who eyed her rather skeptically before handing over the sets of sound dampening headphones and the five cases of wad cutters we asked for. She smiled and thanked him as she threw her headset over her ears and slid all the cases of ammo into her arms, leading the way to the indoor shooting gallery.

Once we found our booths, we settled in. We split the specially designed ammo made specifically for paper mounted target practice and began to settle into our cubbies. Emmett and I stayed close by Bella, insisting she let us load the Ruger and run her through basic gun safety, proper form, and handling before allowing her to take her first run at the targets.

She looked over her shoulder at me with a wink before picking the gun up from the counter in front of her. She anchored her weight, raised her hands, gripping the gun with expert control. She aimed a moment before smoothly squeezing the trigger of her father's Ruger Police Service Six revolver, which normally took .357 magnum cartridges, in quick succession, without any hesitation.

She laid her firearm back on the counter and turned back, looking so proud. I smiled back in an encouraging way, noticing that none of her bullets hit anywhere near the target zones indicated on the person shaped paper.

"You did well for your first time back, babe. You'll get your accuracy back quickly, I'm sure."

She bent over laughing before shooting a look at Emmett, who also joined in the laugher. Both of them had tears running down their faces. I looked on in confusion, wondering if the staff should be turning the ventilation up in the room.

Emmett pushed the button to bring the target toward us. When it came closer, I noticed that while the bullets hadn't hit the bulls eye 'kill shot zones' that shooting range patrons usually aim for, they had landed squarely in each shoulder, elbow, and wrist area of the human shape on the paper.

I turned and looked back at Bella, wide eyed, with a bit of confusion.

She giggled again. "Honestly, Edward, I'd really rather not take a human life unless completely necessary, but I do think it's a good idea to be able to incapacitate any potential attackers and inhibit use of their own weaponry."

I blinked at her a few times, listening to her rattle off her reasoning as though she were reading it directly from a training manual. I started shaking my head slowly, a chuckle bubbling up from my chest. I crossed the foot that separated us, placing a kiss on her temple, hugging her around her shoulders. God bless Charlie Swan, he most definitely taught his daughter well.

We mounted a new target and set it back to the end of the room. Bella reloaded her weapon and once again took her stance, looking sexy as hell holding the cold piece of steel in her hand with such confidence. This time, she went for the kill shots, placing two rounds dead center of the area that holds the heart, with two more landing close by within the circular target area and shifting the last two for solid head shots.

She continued taking aim at target after target, her accuracy never wavering. The rest of our group, along with a few other onlookers, ended up settling behind her, watching in surprise as she continually hit her intended targets time and time again. After a while, the rest of the guys began to offer their pistols for her to try out, curious to see if her familiarity with the piece itself was leading to her accuracy, or if it truly was simple raw talent.

She continued to hit her marks time and time again, regardless of the make or model, revolver, semi-automatic, it made no difference. I found myself bursting with pride and lustful longing while I watched her time and again prove once more just how unpredictable she really was. I couldn't help but wonder how she would fare on a Swat target training field with moving targets and innocents interspersed with actual targets.

It also didn't hurt that she favored my Ruger P91 above the rest of the service pistols she tried out. The woman may have been dangerous with a revolver, but with a semi-auto pistol she was downright lethal. Watching her handle my gun with such precision made certain pieces of my anatomy sit up and take notice too. As long as I live, I doubt I'll see anything sexier than Bella using my gun.

Emmett and I watched, giving the very rare tip or suggestion, never once firing a round the entire time we were there. I didn't think it was possible, but Bella walked with even more confidence and enthusiasm as we left the range. She danced around, hugging Emmett by the neck before running up and jumping on my back for a piggy back ride to the van. Perched on my back, she let out a loud whoop, tossing her hands in the air in a victory pose. Watching her and her childlike enthusiasm made me laugh as I jogged with her to the van. I sat her on the hood where she crossed her legs, smiling like a beauty queen on the back of a convertible in a homecoming parade.

After extracting our queen from her perch on the hood, we all climbed back into the van, heading back to the hotel. We stopped at a mom and pop restaurant along the way for some comfort food, all the while bragging on Bella and her impressive skills.

Emmett began to share stories of their childhood and Bella's Annie Oakley days as the guys began to tease that she should join the force with marksmanship like that. Of course, when the conversation went that direction, Emmett and I derailed it quickly, bringing up other things to distract the guys. Neither of us were willing to ever even begin to think of Bella in that much danger. No way in Hell!

We returned to the hotel that night, each of us guys ready to pass out cold, while Bella continued to bounce like a fucking pixie. I began to wonder if she wasn't spending too much time with little Alice. My sanity might not be able to handle her being in pixie mode 24/7!

While it was a little annoying seeing her dancing around our room like a brunette Tinkerbell when I was ready to pass out cold and not wake up for the next three days, it still made me happy to see her to excited and joyful. It never occurred to me until now just how much the whole Trager situation was getting her down. Bella was not used to being helpless or a victim. I believed that her successes that afternoon on the shooting range empowered her and gave her back some of her self assurance. Tonight, Bella was far from a victim.

She finally started to calm down, sitting in one spot to work on her laptop when she noticed how tired I was. I settled on the bed, trying to catch some much needed shut eye. My sleep was restless until I felt her slide in behind me several hours later. She curled up to my back, sliding her warm arm around my waist. I grabbed her hand and rested my arm on top of hers as I tangled our fingers and finally settled into a deep restful sleep.

Wednesday morning, I once again used my cell to wake up. I crept out of our room, only this time I left the Volvo keys on the dresser next to the TV with a note. I was going to call and check with Jacob and if he had gotten visual confirmation of Trager's whereabouts, then I was going to call and let her know that she could escape the confines of the hotel room during our training.

I got a confirmation call from Jake at 8:30, so I texted Bella letting her know. She quickly responded with her thanks. When lunch time rolled around, I was pleasantly surprised to discover Bella had opted to stay in the room anyway. She drove to the restaurant we had eaten at the night before to join us for lunch, then let us know she was going to stop into a few stores in a strip mall she had passed on her way to lunch before returning to the hotel.

The rest of the day passed quickly. When I returned to the room, Bella greeted me clad in a dark blue sweater dress, her hair curled and makeup done. She was wearing a pair of black leather knee high boots with a thick heel, making her slightly taller and only leaving a small, and yet ever so tempting, strip of creamy leg visible between the top of the boots and the hem of her dress.

"Wow, you look nice." I said as I crossed the room, wrapping her in my arms and burying my nose in her fragrant curls.

"That's because I'm taking you to dinner tonight! Go shower and get dressed."

"Wait a minute...I'm the guy. I'm supposed to take you out on dates, not vice versa!"

She crossed her arms and gave me a dirty look. "Don't you start that macho bullshit with me, Masen! Get your ass in that shower and be out in fifteen, or your ass is grass!

I shot her a fake salute, "You've been spending way too much time with Alice and Rosalie!"

I smirked at her, trying to dodge her hands when they landed a couple of smacks on my arm before I disappeared into the bathroom. I emerged from the shower ten minutes later clean and ready to find out what my beautiful girl had on her mind.

Beside the sink, on the counter lay a set of clothes for me. I slowly unfolded the black pants and royal blue button up that sort of matched her dress. After sliding the belt around my waist, I attempted to tame my wild hair. I was soon dressed and ready to go. Upon opening the bathroom door, I earned a gasp from Bella.

I smirked, crossing the room to the place where she sat in front of her laptop, her legs crossed daintily at the knee. I reached my hands out to help pull her to standing.

"I'm ready when you are, love," I whispered in her ear, making goose bumps rise on her arms and neck. I leaned in to kiss just below her ear before leaning back again, picking her purse up off the table and handing it to her before offering her my arm.

She tucked her hand into my elbow with a smile as we walked out to the door. I made sure it locked behind us before leading her to the elevator and out toward my car. When we reached it, I tossed her the keys after opening the driver's side door for her. She looked a bit confused.

"You're calling the shots; I figure I might as well let you drive us there rather than giving me directions. Besides, it's not like you get many opportunities to drive."

She smiled and shrugged before sliding behind the wheel gracefully. She waited for me to close the door and slide into the passenger seat before she started the engine. Living in Chicago and having most of her life within easy walking distance of her apartment, Bella never bothered with the expense of owning a car. The insurance alone in a city like that was astronomical and with as little as she would utilize it, it would be a waste. Several times a year, Jasper or I would take her out of the city in our cars, giving her a chance to drive to keep her skills and just to give her the chance to enjoy getting away from things.

After reversing out of the parking spot, Bella pushed in the clutch and slid the car into first. I cringed a bit, as she dumped the clutch when she took off. I grabbed hold of my knee, willing myself not to say anything when she looked over sheepishly in apology.

"Sorry, I'm not used to driving with heels. I promise I did a lot better today when I was tooling around in my sneakers."

I sighed with a bit of a chuckle at the end when the mental picture came to mind. "It's okay, Bella, I never really thought about that before. I'm sure I'd probably dump the clutch a few times if I tried to drive in those things too."

She giggled, reaching down and shifting the car into fourth as we reached the speed limit on the road heading toward the center of the suburb. After the initial first gear dump, she had shifted quite smoothly between the other gears, especially considering her choice of footwear and how long it had been since she had last driven. We continued on for about ten minutes before pulling in front of a French bistro with a valet waiting out front.

She walked in with an air of confidence that I suspected was still a remnant from the empowerment she gained from her successes last night at the shooting range. The girl before me now was definitely more pre-drama Bella. The ups and downs of the past month or so, with us sorting our shit out, and the Trager mess, had definitely taken its toll on Bella. I was glad to see that tonight she walked straight and tall. I found myself puffing up in pride to have her on my arm.

She sauntered directly up to the hostess, who stood behind the podium with long flaxen hair and a tight dress that showed off curves that were most likely surgically enhanced, telling her we had reservations at seven for Swan. The girl eyed her speculatively before looking over at me with a flash of lust, then looking back at Bella again with a slightly cool demeanor.

I glanced at Bella, waiting for the flash of self consciousness that she often seemed to have in situations like this, but tonight there was none. Bella nodded to the hostess when she told us it would be just a couple of minutes, and then turned to me with a radiant smile, folding herself into my side. She wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her nose in my neck. She kissed me there gently, making my eyes roll into the back of my head a bit.

Soon we were led to our table, where she deferred to me to order the wine since she had relatively little knowledge on good wines. Aunt Esme made sure I was practically an aficionado. I glanced over their selection, making a choice and investigating the sample they provided before approving the selection, allowing the waiter to pour us both glasses and leaving the bottle behind in an ice bucket.

After we ordered, we sat in the dimmed light, sipping our wine and holding hands as we talked about anything and everything. Bella looked so beautiful as she occasionally pushed her hair over her shoulder or twiddled a curl between her fingers when she explained something or mused over a memory. I was practically spellbound as I sat across from her, drinking in every word. I savored the moment we enjoyed together, away from the stress and the drama of Chicago and Trager. It was just the two of us and it was very freeing.

As the food arrived and we began to dig in, Bella looked up from her plate with a frown.

"So I called Alice today. She started looking into places for Tanya. The real estate agent didn't find many places that would be in her price range that weren't in scary areas. I don't want to drag her back to Chicago just to put her in a worse position than the one she is in already. I'm not sure what to do."

I frowned, looking down at my duck and nodding along as she continued. "On the plus side, Alice thinks we could get her a job at the hospital in reception. They're looking for some new hires to work the desk in the ER, processing paperwork for insurance and public aid. I don't know if she'd be interested, but I think we could definitely get her in that if she were."

I smiled up at her, reaching across to grab her free hand, rubbing my thumb across the back. "I'm sure she'd be thrilled. Thank you for looking into everything."

"I was thinking maybe I'd call her tomorrow and talk to her about it. I'm reluctant to do that though, while I still have no leads on places for her to live. I guess if worse came to worse, she could always sleep on the couch at my apartment until she found a place, or maybe if Alice could delay moving in a bit longer, then she could have her room."

I glanced up at her, my chest tightening as an idea that I liked a whole lot more than I ever dreamed hit me over the head. I blurted it out before I had really measured the statement.

"Or you could just move in with me and let her have your old room."

Her eyes shot up to meet mine. I could swear her heart stopped mid beat and she stopped breathing, staring at me in shock.

I snickered at her after a second, leaning forward and brushing my hand across her cheek. "Breathe Bella."

She sucked in a loud gasp, blinking wordlessly at me a few seconds before her mouth opened and closed a couple of times. After several minutes of this, she finally composed her thoughts completely.

"Edward, that's a big step...a huge step...I mean we haven't even...and you've never been in a...and I've never lived with anyone besides...I...I just don't know if now is the right time. It sounds really wonderful, but I can't help but worry if it's too fast."

I placed my finger over her lips to quiet her. "Shh love, its okay. Calm down. It was only a suggestion. If you don't want to then I understand."

She kissed my finger that was resting on her lips before reaching up, pulling it away gently. "It's not that I don't want to. I do...this past couple of weeks staying with you, sharing a bed with you, doing basic chores together, it all felt so...right. I just don't want to screw things up by moving too fast and making that permanent before we've really had a chance to figure everything out. I...you...us...this thing between us...it's too important to me to risk it by taking too big of a step too soon. Does that make sense?"

I smiled, cupping her cheek with my hand, caressing her mouth with my thumb. "It makes perfect sense, but just know that I had never even considered ever living with anybody before. Like you said though, these past few weeks have just seemed right. I love you, and I love us. I don't think I want to spend another night alone in my bed. It feels wrong sleeping without you; it feels wrong not being with you. I know we only recently figured our relationship out, but we've known each other longer than most couples do between meeting and marrying. We have seven years of experience and personal knowledge about each other. I have no doubt that we would be fine...no, more than fine...I think it would be great. So I just want you to know that this offer stands. Just think about it for a few days before you answer. I'll love you no matter what, but I've wasted too many years that I could have been with you to lose another minute."

I slid my seat around the side of the table to get closer to her, tipping her face up to mine to place a gentle kiss on her lips. Our lips lingered on one another sweetly for a while before we finally broke apart and I shifted my plate so I could stay closer to her.

After a few more bites of her meal, she sat down her fork and began to babble again. I inwardly cheered because she was most definitely thinking about it.

"Even if I did move in, I couldn't put Alice in that position. She doesn't even know Tanya. That would be totally unfair to her!"

I smiled, smoothing the back of her hand with my thumb, shrugging. "Maybe Jasper would want to move in with Alice and then Tanya could sublet his place or something. I think he was whining the other day about his lease being up again soon."

"Could Tanya even afford his place?"

I nodded, "I think so. It's tiny and his rent is a bit high for the square footage, but affordable. It might be an option."

"We can't push them to move in together just for Tanya though. That's not fair."

I laughed, tossing my head back before shaking. "Bella, love, I don't think they've spent a night apart since they got together unless Alice was working graveyard, or of course we were gone. At this point, I'm pretty sure it would simply be a formality!"

She laughed with me, "I guess that's true. I warned Alice up front that she better soundproof her bedroom and keep the sex in her room. Talk about traumatizing, that would be nearly as bad as walking in on Emmett!"

I grabbed her hand tighter and looked hopefully into her eyes, "So does that mean you might reconsider?" I never dreamed I would not only hope for, but basically beg a woman to live with me, yet there I was, fuck I probably would have gotten on my knees if it'd help!

She sighed, nibbling her lip with her cute little brow furrowed tightly. "I'll think about it. I don't want to jump before I consider everything okay?"

I reached over, kissing her temple. "I would expect nothing less, my love. Would you like another glass of wine?"

She nodded, so I reached for the bottle sticking up out of the pile of ice, filling her glass and topping off my own. I felt myself melt a little when she hummed into the glass, taking another slow sip.

When we finished our meals, the waiter brought the check, setting it in front of me. When I reached for my wallet, Bella snatched the folder holding the bill from in front of me, shaking her head. "No, no, I plan the date, I pay the bill."

She growled at me when I began to argue, "Bella! Don't be ridiculous! I want to pay; it's my job to pay."

She cocked her eyebrow at me, her head shifted to the side and her jaw tightened. "Sexist much, Masen? This was my idea. I fully intend to pull my weight in this relationship, and that includes meals out when it is totally and completely my idea to do so!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "This is about what Elizabeth said, isn't it?"

She looked down at her debit card, sliding it into the card portion of the binder. She slammed it closed, placing it on the far side of the table.

I tipped her face up to look me in the eyes. "Bella, don't let what she said get to you. Besides, she apologized, realizing how wrong she was soon after that. I want to do nice things for you. I know beyond all certainty that you don't care one little bit about my money, and that makes me want to spend it on you even more. Please let me pay for this, Bella."

She shook her head defiantly, grinding her teeth as she watched for the waiter to hand him the leather folder. I sighed in defeat, trying to think of ways to sneak the money back into her purse later.

The waiter came and took the bill, casting me a funny look when he returned with the signature slip. I shrugged and shook my head. He smirked at me before taking back the signed copy and wishing us a pleasant evening.

Bella and I sat back and enjoyed the last of our glasses of wine in silence before she sighed, turning to look at me with a huff.

"If we did this, you need to know up front that you are not paying for everything. IF we did this, I would pay you rent, a portion of the utilities, and my half of the groceries."

I shook my head. "Bella, come on. Be reasonable."

"No, Edward, I insist."

"Bella, I don't pay any rent, I own the building, so rent would be completely unnecessary." Her mouth dropped open a moment before she finally pulled it closed with a snap.

She took a deep breath and a long sip from her wine before she continued. "Fine, but I would have to insist on helping pay the utilities and the groceries."

I smiled excitedly, feeling butterflies rumbling in my chest...she was caving...she was going to move in with me, I just knew it!

"That sounds fair," I said more to get her to agree than anything.

She looked over at me suspiciously. "I'm not saying yes, I'm just discussing what ifs. Even if I do lean toward moving in with you, I refuse to leave Alice in a lurch if she would be uncomfortable living with Tanya, or the idea of Jasper moving in, or however this all works out."

I nodded, smiling as my heart expanded in my chest.

"Understood," I whispered. I leaned in closer, tipping her face up for another kiss. She sighed into my mouth as we deepened the kiss. My heart began to speed at the sensation.

She insisted that I drive back to the hotel since she had been drinking far more wine than I had. Once we arrived, I couldn't resist holding her close the whole way to our room. I smothered her in kisses as soon as we got back to our room, massaging the temping strip of flesh on her thigh that had been teasing me all night long.

Knowing there was only a thin wall separating us from Emmett, we only engaged in a bit of heavy petting before turning in for the night. As I held her tightly in my arms, I began to daydream of moving her in with me and combining her belongings and knickknacks with my own. In some ways, it would be hard. Giving up my exclusive rights to my inner sanctum and my bachelor ways would be difficult at times, but in other ways, it would be so easy. The second she stepped into my room, I knew she belonged there. She belonged by my side, in my home, and in every part of my life. I couldn't help but beg her in my mind to say yes.

Thursday morning, Bella woke up before me, helping me arise with a very pleasant wake up call, the visions of which stuck with me all morning as I walked through the steps of our training schedule.

Bella drove my Volvo to the restaurant to meet us for lunch again, a wide excited smile on her face.

"You seem excited, what's going on, love?" I asked as we settled into a long table in the middle of the diner.

"I got a call from Tanya this morning. I didn't go into detail, but told her that I might have a job for her if she was interested in moving back to Chicago. When I told her what it was, she jumped at the opportunity. I didn't tell her about the housing situation yet, but told her that I was working on finding a place for her. She's so excited Edward!"

I smiled and pulled her onto my lap crossways as she wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging herself close to me and kissing my cheek.

"She also said that Elizabeth called her, thanking her again for giving you the information and helping the two of your reconnect. She said that Elizabeth seemed even happier than ever. She also said that she couldn't stop talking about how proud she was of you and how nice she thought the two of us were together. It was a good morning!"

I kissed her head, squeezing her waist. "I'm glad, love. Any more news on the apartment front?"

She shook her head 'no', glancing awkwardly at Jasper and then back to me. I smiled, kissing her temple again, before sliding her back into her chair next to me, grabbing her hand in mine.

Alice replied to a text Bella had sent her earlier in the day. Bella left early to call her and discuss our apartment ideas with Alice while she was on her lunch break. We finished up lunch and returned for our last afternoon of training. We really enjoyed the last of our day before we said our goodbyes to the staff and made our way back to the hotel.

I loitered out front after we returned to make one last call to Aunt Esme. I wanted make sure everything was set for the next evening before heading back up to the room I shared with Bella. I stepped in to our room to find Bella napping. She was curled up on the bed, her hair splayed out over her pillow as she lay clutching my pillow to her chest.

I tiptoed past her to grab a shower. A few minutes later, I stepped out to find her sitting up on the bed with the remote control in her hand, channel surfing with my pillow clutched to her chest.

"Hey beautiful, did you have a nice nap?"

She sighed, looking at me with a small smile. "Not as good as when you're there, but it was refreshing none the less."

I climbed into bed next to her, leaning against the headboard and pulling her into my side. We snuggled in to watch a movie on the TV in comfortable silence. It wasn't passionate or romantic or emotional, it was better...it was peaceful and comfortable and safe. It was then that I realized that THIS is what being in a real relationship was all about, being content even in the most mundane of moments. With Bella at my side, I truly was.

We turned the guys down when they suggested going out to a steakhouse in Minneapolis for supper. We opted instead to order pizza and have a picnic in bed with some Sandra Bullock movie that I would normally avoid like the plague, but sort of enjoyed with Bella. Afterwards, we settled in curling up with one another, enjoying a peaceful night's sleep, while I obsessed about tomorrow...and more importantly tomorrow night.


	25. For The First Time

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and songs are property of their original authors and performers and I am just borrowing them for creative purposes.**

**THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN SENSORED FOR EROTIC CONTENT, ALTHOUGH PROBABLY NOT AS DEEPLY AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN, BUT SOME PARTS WERE TOO POETIC TO MUTILATE. TO SEE THE UNEDITED VERSION, PLEASE GO TO TWCSLIBRARY DOT COM OR TWILIGHTED DOT NET**

_**Author's Note: This is it...the BIG FRIDAY. In honor of the big night I have created a new playlist for the songs in this chapter (link below). There are some really great songs and I would highly suggest it especially for the main song I used during the lemony stuff. It's very beautiful and haunting.**__**After the first five songs they are all pretty much in random order, just songs Edward picked to fit the general theme of his feelings about the night so peruse if you wish.**_

http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=w2cFEHM9yMw&feature=PlayList&p=4FBBDB79E05C7CE1&index=0&playnext=1

_**Thank you to my twilighted Jr. Validation Beta who busts her rump to get these chapters looked over and validated for you guys so quickly. Also a thank you to Sihaya9 who did my original beta work and helped me shape these chapters into something a bit smoother.**_

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**For the First Time**

**BPOV**

Friday morning, I woke up to find Edward was already up and showered. He was nervously shuffling around the room with his iPod in hand scrolling through the menu screens with a look of extreme concentration on his face.

I arched my back, flexing my toes in a whole body stretch, as a big yawn escaped my mouth. I forced my body to sit up in the bed, rolling my neck around a couple of times, before looking back at Edward.

When our eyes met, he had a strained look on his face. He appeared to be struggling, fighting back lustful thoughts that my stretch most likely induced. I smirked at him knowingly with a wink, earning myself an eye roll from him.

He crossed the room to offer me a hand up from bed.

For a split second, I considered yanking his hand, pulling him back onto the bed with me. I knew we needed to check out and hit the road though, since he had his big evening planned for us. I decided to be nice and not mess with him as he gallantly offered me his large, strong hand. When he pulled me to stand in front of him, I immediately tipped onto my toes, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek chastely.

"Thank you, my knight in shining armor."

He kissed my forehead, smirking down at me, "As if you are any sort of weak, damsel in distress." He snorted a rough chuckle, "You take down groping mobsters in the middle of clubs and handle a gun better than half the beat cops at the station...you are far from a lady in need of a white knight to save you, but I'm happy to provide backup."

I felt my face brighten. Warmth filled my chest at the pride he projected in those words. I reached my hands up, cradling his face in my hands and whispered, "I love you, Edward Anthony Masen."

His eyes softened. He sighed before licking his lips, brushing them over mine as he tightened his grip on my waist. "I love you too, Isabella Marie Swan. Now why don't you go get a shower and start packing up? We're going to grab breakfast with the guys before we all head out. They're going back to Chicago today. We're going to travel with them until we need to part ways for our detour."

I cocked my eyebrow, trying to figure out exactly what he had up his sleeve, but he wasn't giving anything up. He finally released my waist, his iPod still in hand. I made a grab for it as his hands pulled back around my body, but he was too fast, yanking it away.

"What are you doing with that iPod that has you looking so intense?"

He narrowed his eyes at me slightly. "None of your beeswax...you'll find out tonight...go shower, now."

I gave him a dubious look, making him backtrack a moment looking sheepish.

"Please?"

I sighed, shuffling over to my suitcase, yanking out my shower supplies and clothes to put on for our long car ride back to Illinois. I disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I rushed through my shower, dressing quickly in my favorite pair of comfy boot cut jeans, they fit me like a glove - flaring slightly at the bottom, a really soft new tan v-neck sweater and tan suede mid calf boots with the big chunky heel. I loved those kinds of boots that allowed me to add a bit of height without endangering my safety thanks to my less that perfect coordination. I threw my hair in a convenient, travel friendly ponytail and opened the door, rushing to throw my personal items in my suitcase and get ready to go.

I bent down, closing the zippers of my suitcase that was situated on the floor. When I went to stand back up and grab the handle to pull the suitcase up with me, I felt Edward's warmth behind me. His arms wrapped around my waist.

I slowly stood up, feeling his appreciation for my new outfit pressing against my back around the same time that his lips began to shower kisses upon the skin of the exposed column on my neck. I tipped my head to the side, providing him better access as I melted back against his strong chest. The aroma of his soap, cologne, and his own natural scent enveloped me in a cloud of pheromones that made my body react instantly.

I felt him moan into my neck, his lips parted and his kisses gained more suction, inciting a moan from my own lips. His voice vibrated against my neck as his husky tone reached my ear.

"Mmmm, Bella, you are too damn tempting for your own good."

I moaned when I felt his hot breath blow past my shoulder. His hands began to roam over the soft material of my sweater, ghosting over my straining nipples still excited from the olfactory stimulation. A few minutes later, his phone chirped. He groaned, pulling away. I whimpered when I turned to face him.

"Sorry, love, but we need to go meet the guys. I promise I will make it up to you tonight, plus some, okay?"

I tipped up, kissing his lips quickly before turning my back to him. I bent back over to pick up my suitcase, earning another languishing moan from Edward. He crossed the room, picking up his suitcase, and opening the door. As I went to pass through the doorway with my rolling suitcase behind me, he stopped me, reaching out for the handle. I shook my head, resuming my walk, but his grip tightened, keeping me from walking away. I could tell he wouldn't back down, so I rolled my eyes and released the handle, grabbing the smaller duffel bag off of his other shoulder in exchange. He looked for a moment as though he might argue, but finally rolled his eyes, letting me take it with a huff, before closing the door behind him and following me to the elevator.

We returned to the cute little restaurant we had been visiting for lunch all week to enjoy a group breakfast before we hit the road for our trip back to Illinois. As we left the diner, Emmett came up, giving me a big hug and telling me to stay safe. Jasper followed closely behind with his own goodbye.

As we approached Edward's Volvo, he tossed me his keys. I looked up questioningly.

He just shrugged, "Figured you might want to drive some more. It'll give me a chance to finish what I was working on earlier."

I shrugged back, sliding behind the steering wheel, adjusting the seat and mirrors before turning the key to start the whisper quiet engine. I pulled out behind the large van that hauled the boys. Once we hit the interstate, I would occasionally pass them when I was sick to death of following the large, bulky, slow piece of crap. Driving the Volvo was seriously like flying, it was impossible to be happy doing it slowly. I suddenly understood with all certainty Edward's speed demon tendencies.

Emmett and I traded leads for three hours while Edward sat in the passenger seat, occasionally holding my hand while he scanned the screen of his iPod with determination. The screen was turned so I couldn't see what he was up to. About four hours into the drive, we pulled into a rest area somewhere in Wisconsin. I was grateful for the chance to stretch my legs.

I made my way to the building to use the restroom. As I headed back to the car, I saw Emmett handing a garment bag and a small duffel bag to Edward, who laid them carefully in the back seat of the Volvo. I was curious about the bag, but decided not to push the issue.

I offered the keys back to Edward, figuring if he would probably want to drive the rest of the way, considering I had no clue where we were going. He took with a smile and a kiss on my forehead.

I turned to find myself face to chest with my big brother, who pulled me into one of the biggest bear hugs I had ever received from him. He looked down at me with soulful eyes and a serious expression.

"I love you, Bella. I want you to be happy, okay? It's your life and your decisions. Whatever you do, just know that I am so proud of you. I love you so much."

I felt tears threatening to form in my eyes as I jumped up, wrapping my arms around Emmett's neck. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, before bending to set me back down.

He looked back up at Edward with serious, almost threatening eyes. "You take good care of her."

I glanced over to see Edward look back in equal sincerity and nod.

Emmett glanced down at me once more, patting me on the shoulder, before sliding back behind the wheel of the van and driving away, leaving Edward and I standing in the parking lot of the rest area.

I walked to the front of the car where Edward was standing. I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.

"What was that about?" I asked, looking up while still wrapped around his frame.

"I spoke to him this morning before you woke up about what I had discussed with you at dinner last night. I wanted to warn him that the offer was out there in case you decided to take me up on it, give him time to get used to the idea."

My eyes grew wide. I blinked slowly a few times in surprise. "Uh, how did he take the news?"

Edward shrugged, "Like any big brother, I guess. He's worried we're rushing things and doesn't like the idea of us 'shacking up', even though that's what he's getting ready to do with Rose himself."

I sighed, "Yeah, but he and Rose have been at the relationship thing for about a year now. We've only officially been together for a couple of weeks, and in that time we've already nearly broken up...granted it was over a misunderstanding, but still, you can see where he would be concerned."

Edward sighed deeply, brushing his lips across my forehead before resting them against mine and looking into my eyes. "I know, I know, but I also know my heart. I know I'm ready for it when you are. I'm not going to pressure you, though. It's all about when you're ready, because I'll tell you right now, baby, I'd be happy if you moved in tomorrow."

I smiled, tipping my head so that our lips met briefly. "Boy, have you come a long way in a short amount of time, Mr. Masen!"

He chuckled as he led me to my car door and opened it for me. "What can I say, you are special, WE are special."

I leaned across the top of the door to kiss his lips again before sliding into my seat, letting him shut the door for me. He walked around the car, settling in behind the wheel and readjusting his seat and mirrors before backing out of the parking spot, merging back onto the interstate.

As we drove along, we listened to my iPod playlist. We chatted about the songs as they came up next on the random mode, giving time and mindset to the particular tune that currently ran across the speakers. Sometimes the memories were fun and light, other times they were sad and melancholy, but each one seemed to hold significance for both of us.

A couple more hours on the interstate, we exited onto US 41 entering the Northern Suburbs. Two towns later, I realized where we were headed. I looked over with a bright smile and a slight nibble of my bottom lip. He had promised somewhere special to both of us; somewhere we could be alone together in peace and finally be together in every sense of the word. He was taking me to the beach house in Lake Forest.

"The beach house?"

He nodded with a wide smile. "I figured it would be a good place to get away and have some peace. Aunt Esme even offered to come up and get it set up for us, so we should be all set with food and firewood for the weekend."

"Sweet! We can finally use that beautiful fireplace!" It had always been way too hot in the summertime to use the beautiful stone fireplace. I used to sit next to it on the couch for hours, reading books and daydreaming about sitting in front of a fire wrapped in Edward's arms, and now I would probably get to! I was so excited I began to bounce and giggle like a preteen.

After another half an hour of weaving through the suburbs, we pulled up into the driveway that led to the beautiful three story lake home. It looked a bit different in the fall as the surrounding trees were filled with orange, yellow, and brown, instead of the green I was so accustomed to seeing when I was here. After the car was parked, Edward ran around to open the door for me, grabbing my suitcase from the back and the bags Emmett just gave him. We walked to the back door where he opened it using a key and led me inside by the small of my back.

I looked around in awe at the beautiful home, full of warm honey colored woods. Large, beautiful windows looked out over the beach and the lake beyond. We passed through the kitchen with its black and white granite countertops, gleaming with bowls of fresh fruit on top. The nearby dining room table had a large arrangement of fresh cut flowers that added just the right touch of color of the homes' continuous brown palate.

We continued through the large den where the stone fireplace sat along the south wall, firewood already in place and ready for a flame to ignite the waiting fuel. The sun was shining through the large plate glass windows that looked out at the lake beyond the deck, creating shadows behind the large wooden beams that supported the wood lined cathedral ceiling.

We passed through the den to the staircase. We passed the door that led downstairs to the four guest rooms that we all typically stayed in when we visited the beach house, climbing up the staircase to the upper loft level that we very rarely dared to tread. The loft level held one extremely lavish spare bedroom, Esme and Carlisle's room, and two particularly lavish in suite bathrooms.

The first time we came here four years ago, we had received the grand tour from Esme. She warned all of us that if anyone dared to have any romantic escapades in either room, we would be banned from the beach house for life. Needless to say, we never dared give them any reason to suspect anything by simply avoiding the area altogether. Since that first tour, I had never seen these rooms again until this day.

Edward guided me to the beautiful guest bedroom with white washed walls, a small fireplace along the wall this room shared with the master bedroom, and a cherry finish sleigh bed covered in fluffy white and black bedding. Edward carried my bags over to the bed, lifting them to sit on top of the fluffy comforter before turning to me with a smile.

"Alice sent the dress and whatever else is hiding in the duffel bag for tonight. You have some time to relax, take a nap if you'd like. You can just sit and read for a while or whatever you'd like to do to unwind. I have to run a few errands. I'll be back here to pick you up at this door in three hours. In the meantime, if you would please just stay in this room I'd really appreciate it. There's a mini fridge with drinks and food under the sink in the bathroom. That hutch over there has a TV inside, if you want to watch something. Can I get you anything for now?"

I watched as he glanced around the room, trying to think if he had forgotten anything, as he ran his hand nervously through his hair. I smiled and closed the space between us, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Yes, you can give me a big hug and a kiss, and relax a little bit yourself. I don't need a ton of pomp and circumstance. I just need you, okay?"

He relaxed a bit and smiled, leaning down to kiss me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. He pulled me in for a hug, burying his nose in my neck, inhaling deeply.

"I love you...now go take care of whatever you want to. I'll stay right here and veg for a while."

He smiled, kissing me once more with a bit more passion before finally releasing me. He walked through the door with one last glance, closing it behind him.

I sighed and turned, looking around the room, debating on what I wanted to do. I definitely didn't want to watch TV, the couches looked inviting for a little book time, but I wasn't entirely sure. I walked over to the bed and picked up the garment bag, unzipping it slowly to reveal a satin cocktail length ice blue wrap dress with a low neck line and short sleeves.

I sighed, removing the dress carefully, hanging it on the back of the TV hutch. I opened the duffel to see what surprises awaited me there. I began pulling out the myriad of items hiding inside. I found a make up bag full of cosmetics with specific colors to use with the dress. There was also a silky ice blue La Perla underwear set that matched the dress almost perfectly, with a coordinating garter belt and thigh high stockings. There were directions for the best way to style my hair, with Swarovski crystal hair pins to adorn the curls. Finally, in the bottom was tucked a pair of precariously high heeled beige patent leather Christian Louboutin platform boots to complete the ensemble. Just looking at those made my feet ache, but I had become well aware from my friendship over the past few months with Alice and Rose, that beauty is often pain. If there was ever a night to subject myself to torture via stiletto boots, tonight would be the night.

I grabbed my toiletries from my large suitcase, heading for the bathroom. Gasping as I stepped inside, I instantly knew exactly how I would be spending my free time. The massive in suite bathroom was covered in beige marble tile with a long double sink and a steam shower. It was beautiful, but the piece de resistance was a massive Jacuzzi tub that was simply begging for me to settle back into it with my crinkled copy of Pride and Prejudice, which I hadn't had the time to actually sit down and read in a couple of years now.

I let out an excited squeak as I ran across the room to start the water before turning to go get my supplies together. A check of the fridge under the sink revealed a few small bottles of wine and some chocolate covered strawberries that were just begging to be cherished while soaking in the beautiful tub. I poured myself a flute, setting it on the edge of the tub along with the strawberries and my book.

I removed my clothes quickly to slide in, moaning at the encompassing warmth of the tub. Sneaky Edward, I had told him once that I would love to have a relaxing afternoon to read a book in the tub with wine and chocolate covered strawberries. All the TV stuff was just a rouse. He knew EXACTLY where I would end up spending my afternoon.

I settled in, hitting the button to make the jets bubble under the surface of the water. I moaned as my muscles reveled in the sensation, relaxing almost immediately. Lifting the glass of sweet white wine to my lips with a sigh, I rested my head against the shell shaped inflatable tub pillow. Setting my glass down gently after a sip, I lifted a large strawberry to my lips. I took a big bite, letting out a loud 'mmmmm' as the flavor symphony of chocolate shell mixed with the burst of strawberry juice filled my mouth. I finished off the strawberry in two more bites before picking up my book, settling in to read about the Bennetts and my favorite character of all time, Mr. Darcy.

I shut off the jets a half hour into my bath, staying there for another hour after that, adding more hot occasionally to chase the chill away. Once I was thoroughly pruny and had read nearly half the novel, I finally decided to let my hair from the confines of the ponytail holder. I took care of the business end of my long bath, before stepping out to wrap myself in the massive, velvety soft, white, Egyptian cotton towel.

I still had an hour and a half left, so I slipped on Alice's choice of underwear, tossed on an equally soft bathrobe that hung from the back of the bathroom door to lounge in, and took my time drying my hair and getting myself ready. I took occasional breaks to look out the windows at the scenery or to read another chapter or two, not wanting to put on my dress or those potentially dangerous boots until the last possible second.

Thirty minutes before Edward was due to pick me up at my door, I heard the quiet sounds of classical music drift over my head from the speakers in the house wide sound system. I closed my eyes, drifting in the dark romantic strains of Moonlight Sonata. I decided to take one last look at my face and hair, taking time to tame a few loose curls.

Overall, the look turned out quiet nicely without me even climbing into the wrap dress. Alice had picked a soft glowing palate for my makeup, with a creamy, shimmery white eye shadow blend and a soft pink blush with a slightly darker lipstick. The end effect made me look almost as if I had done nothing, but rather naturally glowed.

My hair had been a bit more difficult for me to beat into submission. I had used the provided curling iron to create large soft curls in the back with tighter curls on top, which I pulled up the sides and used pins to keep the hair back from my face. Unfortunately, the large curls tended to want to fall out and the little curls didn't want to stay in place away from my face. I wrangled a few more free fliers before returning to the bedroom to carefully slide the satin wrap dress over my shoulders, tying it securely at my right hip, shimmying a bit to make sure everything stayed in place. I didn't want to give any premature peep shows after all.

I spun in front of the mirror, a wide smile filling my face. The dress was utter perfection. The way it hugged my curves in a slightly teasing way, and yet still retained the conservative look that I felt more comfortable in was inspired. I loved to feel sexy, but when I started crossing the line into slutty, then all my confidence seemed to disappear instantly. I was by no means a porn star.

I flexed my toes a few times, enjoying the sensation of being able to feel them for a few more seconds before carefully sliding on the beige designer boots with the heels that could not have been any less than four and a half inches high. I had to give Alice props though, the only way to get me into heels this high was to make sure they had a lot of ankle support, which this boot most certainly did. I slid them on, feeling my toes scrunch together, my foot sitting at the precarious angle. I took a few tentative steps across the room, nearly falling with the first few strides. Thankfully, after my fourth trek back and forth across the carpet, I began to gain my sense of balance. Eventually, I was able to walk fairly smoothly, feeling the height of the heel forcing my hips to rock a little more than usual. Thankfully, it felt like a sexy sway and not a floozy swing.

Looking at the clock to see I had ten minutes left, my nerves suddenly hit full force. I looked at myself in the free standing full length mirror next to the bed with a critical eye. My stomach became infested with caffeinated butterflies and my hands began to tremble slightly as my breathing sped. This was it, this was the night that we were going to finally be together in every way. I couldn't help but feel nervous that I wouldn't be enough for him.

I was thankful though, that we had discussed everything thoroughly the week before. As soon as we got together, Edward had gone to be tested and got the all clear. I had been on the pill for years for regulation purposes, and had also received an 'all clear' about a year ago when I got tested. All things being so, no protection would be needed. It could truly just be the two of us with no barriers.

In the throes of passion, my inhibitions were lowered and I felt more secure in the fact that we would please one another enough. I couldn't wait for it to happen, but standing here in my borrowed designer ensemble, barely able to stand on my own two feet, I felt far from confident.

I fidgeted with the ring on my right hand, looking at the glimmering diamond full of promises and love. I took a deep breath, hoping that I really would be enough for him. I reached up, straightening the necklace Alice had included in my makeup bag in order to center the teardrop pendant between my collarbones. I tucked one more hair into place just as the gentle knock began to sound on my door. I took a deep breath and let Edward know he could come in.

I watched nervously as the door opened slowly. I drew in a shaky breath, taking in the sight in front of me. Edward was dressed in black slacks and a white button up shirt with an ice blue tie that matched my dress, under a black suit jacket. His hair was in perfect sexy disarray.

The same time that I took in my breath, I had heard a gasp from his chest. By the time my eyes reached his green ones, they were reaching my face, meeting my gaze with unabashed wonder. I smiled at the fact that he was gazing at me as though I were some sort of super model, when he was most definitely the breathtaking specimen in the room.

He blinked his eyes slowly a few times with a slight shake of his head, before he came the rest of the way into the room, pulling a single cream rose with pink tips from behind his back and offering it to me with a reverent look on his face.

"My God, Bella, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!"

I took in a slow staggered breath, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks as I nibbled my lip reflexively. "Thank you, you look pretty amazing yourself."

He smirked at me before slowly reaching his hands up to ghost over my pink cheeks and then brush them over my pink lips. It felt a little strange to be so much taller, but it was nice not to have to strain to meet his lips when they only had to dip a couple of inches to meet mine.

He caressed my lips with his sweetly as we moved them in gentle sync. We both let out a soft moan before he hesitantly broke away, resting his forehead against mine.

"Well, Dr. Swan, are you ready for our date?"

I smiled and nodded, still stunned into a state of muteness by his fabulous attire. He ghosted his hand down my arm to clasp my fingers with his own, pulling me gently toward the door. He walked much slower than his normal pace, glancing worriedly at my feet.

"Is Alice's goal to make us spend the night in the ER or something? You are destined to fall and hurt yourself in those things!"

I giggled.

His eyes jerked up to me with a smirk.

"I think I'll be okay as long as you don't have me hiking very far in these suckers. I'll wear them for a while to make her happy. I'll take them off later and just go barefoot."

He nodded as we reached the railing that overlooked the den from the loft area above. I gasped as I looked around the room. All of the furniture had been moved and in the middle of the room sat a white linen covered table for two with fancy china and covered dishes waiting for us. A fire crackled in the fireplace on the south wall, and the music piping through the house was a bit louder in the larger space. The entire room was surrounded by vanilla pillar candles, lighting the rest of the room in a soft amber glow.

"Oh my...Edward...it's beautiful!" I felt his arms snake around my waist as he stepped behind me, pulling me close, burying his nose in my neck.

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you... Are you hungry, love?"

I nodded absentmindedly, as I continued to stare down in awe at the scene below me. Edward released my waist, taking my hand again, leading me to the staircase. He escorted me down, making sure I made it safely to the floor below. He led me to the table, pulling my chair out for me and pushing it behind me as I settled at the table.

He crossed to the other side, pulling an already corked bottle of champagne from a silver ice bucket. He poured each of us a glass with a tiny bit of flourish. The towel around the neck of the bottle slid down for a moment, long enough to get a peek at the name. I gasped for the tenth time already tonight.

"Cristal? Are you insane? You know, as little as I know about wine, you could have bought a twenty dollar bottle of Asti and I'd be happy. You really didn't need to buy a four hundred dollar bottle of champagne for me!"

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss the top of my head before tipping my face up to look at him. "Bella, Bella, Bella...someday you'll learn that there are times that I'm going to spoil the shit out of you and I'm not going to give a damn how much it costs. Tonight, my dear, happens to be one of those times. Besides, you're wearing at least twice if not three times that much on your feet right now."

I sighed, dropping my head. "I know, don't remind me, but these are borrowed and at least you don't drink it in one evening and it's gone forever. At least boots you can wear a few times!"

He chuckled, sliding into his seat across from me. His hair glowed and shimmered red and orange thanks to the firelight shining behind him. He reached one hand forward, taking mine on the table while grasping his glass in the other and tipping it toward me.

"I'd like to make a toast. To you, my beautiful Bella, for taking my shell of a life and filling it up with even more than I ever dreamed. You are every bit the angel that you look tonight. I will be forever thankful to have you in my life."

He tapped my glass with his. We both sipped together, keeping eye contact the entire time. The smooth liquid slid past my lips and over my tongue in a bubbly torrent of deliciousness. I hummed in surprise as Edward looked on smugly. The slight hints of apple and hazelnut danced in my mouth as I swallowed down the expensive shimmering liquid, actually impressed.

"Wow, I still don't know if it's really worth quite that much money, but it's definitely a million times better than Asti!"

Edward laughed loudly, nodding in agreement before sliding back out of his seat. He reached forward to lift the silver domes concealing our meals. The scent of the gourmet meal before us wafted up to me making my mouth water.

We sat and talked quietly while we ate, enjoying some quiet time alone together in such a beautiful place. We looked out across the lake. As the last of the light left the sky behind us, the stars began to peek through the dark blanket of the night, reflecting on the surface of the water, giving the impression that the sky surrounded the house nearly completely.

After we finished the meal, Edward disappeared into the kitchen, emerging with a single serving of crème Brule for each of us. We ended up feeding the decadent desert to each other in a totally cheesy, romantic movie way that didn't seem nearly as cheesy when you're actually the one participating.

Once we finished our dessert, Edward helped me to my feet before clearing the table. He moved it off to the side, out of our way, as I walked toward the large French doors that led to the deck. I could see the reflection of him moving around the room behind me. I was mesmerized by the fact that this gorgeous man was here, with me, doing these wonderful things just for me. I continued to watch when he removed his jacket and walked toward the sound system where his iPod was piping the strands of classical music through the house. He pressed a couple of buttons with a serious expression on his face.

Just as he did, the music began to change. I gasped at a streak of light that flashed in the distance beyond his reflection. He came behind me, reaching his hands around my waist, asking if everything was okay when two more streams of light streaked the sky. I pointed toward the beautiful anomaly. The 311 version of Love Song piped above us through the built in speakers while we watched the meteor shower streak the sky. Hundreds of silvery ribbons of fire reflected in the water beyond, giving the appearance of twice as many around us.

I felt his lips by my ear as we began to sway to the beat.

"Still not as beautiful as you..."

I chuckled lightly, but it quickly morphed into a sigh. I felt his lips kiss a trail down the right side of my neck from my ear to my shoulder as his hands slid back and forth across the silky fabric of my dress.

Slowly we shifted away from the windows. I felt his hands on my hips, spinning me to face him. Before I was all the way around, his lips claimed mine. He pulled me close as my body finally aligned with his. I ran my hands up his chest only to find their home in his hair, where they nestled contentedly.

Slowly, his mouth drifted back by my ear. His sexy, velvet laden voice crooned along with the song. My hands drifted to his tie, loosening it and pulling it from around is neck to be tossed somewhere behind us.

"However far away, I will always love you. However long I stay, I will always love you. Whatever words I say, I will always love you...I will always love you."

The haunting guitar strains began when I attacked his mouth with mine, sucking his lips between my own as our tongues battled for dominance. His hands roamed my back and settled on my ass, pulling me tightly toward him to close the minute space that separated us. We moved back and forth in perfect harmony. He moved me back toward the couch that was turned toward the wall. He broke away from our kiss, leaning me against the back.

"It's nice, you being this tall, love, but I think we need to get you out of these boots before you get hurt."

I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat. His hands brushed down my whole body, as they traveled down toward my feet. He dropped to his knees in front of me, gently lifting one boot clad foot to his thigh, helping my foot to slide out and placing a few soft kisses on my calf before settling it on the floor before lifting the other and sliding it off with the same gentle caress of his lips on my aching muscles.

The music slipped into a quiet section.

_Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am free again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am clean again._

He slowly stood back up in front of me, letting his hands graze their way up my thighs and hips, only to rest on my rib cage just below my chest. Our eyes met again with matching desire. My hands slid to where his shirt was tucked into his pants, pulling it out roughly. Attacking the buttons with my fingers, I freed his beautiful chest from the prison of the fabric and pushed it off his shoulders, pressing myself to his defined chest just as the song ended.

There was a brief pause of silence, filled only with the sound of our kisses and the crackling of the fire before a soft female voice filled the air. The first words of the Lamb song Gorecki filled the air. I moaned, looking up to lock gazes with Edward. Both of us were breathing hard with passion and emotion as my hand explored his chest while his grazed up and down my back.

_If I should die this very moment_  
_I wouldn't fear_  
_For I've never known completeness_  
_Like being here_

In a single fluid movement, I tipped up when he bent down and we met in the middle for a passion filled kiss.

_Wrapped in the warmth of you_  
_Loving every breath of you_  
_Still my heart this moment_  
_Or it might burst_

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist, as he picked me up, holding me tightly to his chest. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he began to walk toward the staircase, never breaking our kiss. He opened the door to Esme and Carlisle's room before settling me onto my feet. I gasped as I looked around to see rose petals in the shape of a heart on the white down comforter of the bed, a canopy of thin gossamer and more candles on all of the hard surfaces of the room.

_Could we stay right here_  
_Until the end of time until the earth stops turning_  
_Wanna love you until the seas run dry_  
_I've found the one I've waited for_

_All this time I've loved you_  
_And never known your face_  
_All this time I've missed you_  
_And searched this human race_

After I took a few moments to absorb the scene before us, I turned to reach my arms around his neck once more. Our lips fused again as I pulled him toward the bed, stopping when I felt the back of my legs touch the mattress. Edward's hands traveled up to cup my face, caressing my cheeks gently before running through my hair.

_Here is true peace_  
_Here my heart knows calm_  
_Safe in your soul_  
_Bathed in your sighs_

As the chorus began again, he pulled back, watching his hand dance along my body, over the peaks and valleys of my frame until they came to rest on the bow that tied my wrap dress together on my right hip. Slowly, as though he were unwrapping a much anticipated gift, he pulled the ties. The dress slid apart to reveal my lingerie and my warm skin that was anxiously awaiting his delicious touch.

_Wanna stay right here_  
_Until the end of time_  
_'Til the earth stops turning_  
_Gonna love you until the seas run dry_  
_I've found the one I've waited for_

_The one I've waited for_

The tempo picked up just when his mouth fell to my skin. He began to hungrily kiss and suck the flesh above my breasts, drifting slowly down toward the swells of my breasts. My back arched to him as my head fell back. He trailed his fingers over the tops of the satin cups before looking up at me with a smirk.

"This is really gorgeous, babe, but it needs to go." His fingers slid along my sides, across the top of the strap at my back until he reached the clasp. He released it slowly, letting the bra fall free from me. As soon as my chest was bare, he descended his mouth on one breast while his fingers teased the other.

_All I've known_  
_All I've done_  
_All I've felt was leading to this_  
_All I've known_  
_All I've done_  
_All I've felt was leading to this_

His mouth continued to taste my chest. His hands played along my waist until it found the material of my garter belt. He slowly pulled it down from my body, pulling the attached stocking right along with it as he broke his mouth from me to pull the stockings away. He knelt in front of me, smothering my stomach and thighs with kisses as he traveled, continuing to lavish my skin on his return trip. Once standing, he took a step back. Watching me with hooded eyes full of desire, he mumbled over and over that I was perfection.

No longer happy with the balance of clothing, I reached forward and began to unfasten his pants, pushing them to the floor, leaving him in nothing but a pair of black silky boxers. I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him onto the bed on top of me. Scooting us to the middle, I plunged my hands into his hair, desperately plundering his mouth with my own.

_Wanna stay right here_  
_'Til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning_  
_I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry_  
_I've found the one I've waited for_  
_The one I've waited for_  
_The one I've waited for_

_Wanna stay right here_  
_'Til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning_  
_I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry_  
_I've found the one I've waited for_  
_The one I've waited for_

The instrumental rhythmic beat led our motions. Our mouths explored one another's chests. Our silky underwear slid back and forth across one another as we writhed together on the bed, his hardness creating delicious friction against my ever dampening core. We were a tangle of hands and legs and lips and tongues, finding one another's eyes occasionally when we stopped for breath. Neither of us fully believed we were really here with each other the way each of us had dreamed, and yet never dared to hope.

"I love you," he breathed across my face.

"Not as much as I love you," I breathed back, just then the last phrase filled the air, '_The one I've waited for,'_ before the house fell into silence once again for a moment.

The music that began to fill the air next seemed out of place after Lamb's slow crooning. I smiled up at him quizzically before I realized what the song actually was. My amusement quickly faded and replaced by a need for more of him. I reached for his hands, twining them tightly with mine, while leaning up to delve deeply into his mouth once more as Flyleaf _All Around Me_ began.

We rocked into one another hard and fast, grinding steel behind satin into fire behind silk. Both of us panted and moaned in tandem at the delicious tension all around us. I could have sworn my release was just a hairs breadth away as we slid together in desperate erotic harmony, both of us dying for the closeness we've both been craving for so long.

My hands pulled from his and immediately drifted to the waistband of his boxers. We caressed around the material of our undergarments, our bodies tensing in pleasure.

The room was filled with nothing but the sounds of our panting breaths and heated moans, until Edward growled loudly into the night. "Oh God, Bella, I need you, now!"

He hooked his fingers in the crotch of my panties, pulling them down and off my legs instantly before I could even moan.

"Please, I need you now, Edward. I need to feel you."

He positioned himself above me, staring intently in my eyes as the chorus began again. He slowly pushed in, burying our souls within each others eyes as our bodies united. Both of our mouths dropped open as we moaned in unison.

_I can feel you all around me, thickening the air I'm breathing_

_Holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing._

When he was fully sheathed in me, he stayed still, allowing me to adjust to his size. It did sting just a bit after being celibate for so damn long. As he waited, he slowly leaned down to kiss me passionately. My internal muscles massaged him reflexively, earning another long moan into the depths of my mouth.

As the song continued on in an anthem of love and healing, we began to move together slowly, sensually, our bodies humming in delicious pleasure from head to toe. We kissed and tasted the flesh we could reach while connected. Our hands roamed the surface of our unclothed bodies slowly and reverently. For the first time in my life, I felt loved and worshipped during physical intimacy. I felt as though I were returning the homage in equal measure.

Our eyes met once more and we both knew that this was so much more than either of us ever imagined. This was love making at its most staggering. Neither of us had been here before, and neither of us would ever want to be anywhere else ever again. We kept our eyes locked, occasionally leaning together to kiss, only to return to our intense eye contact as our bodies sped. The sensations grew stronger and stronger as we both panted into each other's mouths.

"I love you so fucking much, Bella. In all my life...it's never..."

I nodded in understanding. "I love you too, Edward. Nothing ever can or will compare...never...ugh...ohhhhhh!"

"Oh God, Bella, I can't hold out much longer. Cum with me baby."

I moaned and arched into him as he pushed further into me with a matching moan. "Oh God...Edward...oh FUCK!"

My hands buried themselves in his hair. My body arched and rose off the bed in the strongest orgasm of my life, my body clamping down around him inside me as obscenities poured out of his mouth. He exploded inside me, our bodies shaking together before falling onto the bed in a spent pile of muscle and bone.

"Holy fucking shit, Bella. That was fucking amazing!" Edward moaned from on top of me.

I sighed, running my hand through his hair, "That, my love, is an understatement. It was so much more than just amazing!"

He agreed as we melted closer, our muscles relaxing further in post coital bliss.

After a few minutes of recovery, we shifted to lie in each other's arms, sharing lazy kisses and caresses. We listened to the rest of the songs stream in through the sound system between whispered proclamations of love and devotion. The songs continued to change on the sound system.

"So is this iPod playlist what you were focusing so intently on all day?"

He nodded. I chuckled and kissed his neck.

"Thank you. You put so much work into all of this, and you were right, this was SO much better than that motel! You never cease to amaze me, Edward Masen. I never knew you had it in you!"

He smiled, kissing my temple. "Never had a reason to try before."

We laid there, talking a while as we held each other closely on the bed. Once we were past the sweet and loving afterglow, I felt him chuckling next to me.

I looked up in suspicion. "What?"

He had a wicked smirk on his face as he reached his hand up, tapping the tip of my nose with his index finger.

"I discovered another way to bring out the hidden sailor in you. So now in order to get you to actually say the word 'fuck,' you have to be either drunk, pissed as hell, or cumming on me."

I shot him a dirty look a split second before swinging my leg over his waist, sliding up on top of him, pinning his arms down with mine, my own smirk firmly in place.

"Only you can do that, but I have to tell you, Mr. Masen, I'm pretty sure you can make me cuss a hell of a lot more than that if you really put your mind to it."

Fire blazed behind his green irises as he slowly licked his lips, bucking his hips up to grind his already fully ready erection against my ass before arching up to claim my mouth in a feverish kiss. Suddenly, he flipped me onto my back, using his hands and mouth to make me scream all the cuss words in the book until my voice was raspy and weak. After he was satisfied that he had spoiled me for life, he proceeded to take me over and over, each time earning more and more screaming obscenities, not stopping until the sun began to rise in the sky.

Tired and sore, we slipped out of bed, wrapping ourselves in robes and blankets. We made our way down to the den where Edward disappeared into the kitchen. I opened the French doors, stepping out on the deck to enjoy the sun rising over the lake. Soon I felt him step behind me. He held a mug of hot coffee out to me, which I eagerly grabbed and sipped with an appreciative hum. He took my blanket, wrapping us both inside it as we huddled closely in the cold October morning.

The morning air was peaceful, reflecting how I was feeling inside. For the first time in my life, I felt like my life was finally in place. It was as if he were the last puzzle piece that completed my make up. This was the way it was supposed to be. This was right...and I wasn't going to let it go for anything.

Edward tugged me toward a lounge chair, pulling me down with him. He settled me between his legs while we enjoyed the morning, sipping our coffee and listening to the wildlife around us.

We were both exhausted, so it surprised me when I noticed that Edward was beginning to get excited again when I shifted my weight slightly to get more comfortable. I glanced up and down the beach, noticing that in the off-season the area was completely dead. Most of the houses on this stretch were vacation homes that remained fairly unoccupied outside of late spring and summer. I smiled inwardly as I rolled over to straddle Edward, taking him by surprise when I kissed him deeply and began to tug loose the belt holding his robe closed.

He looked up at me with an arched eyebrow. I just winked and disappeared inside the blanket. I took him eagerly into my mouth, earning loud moans of gratitude from my bona fide sex god. He had spent the whole night working to see how many times he could get me to drop the f-bomb, keeping a tally for future comparison, not letting me take care of any of his additional needs outside of actual sex.

I felt his hand reach down, fisting my hair as his hips began to buck up to meet me before he tugged me back up. I popped my head out of the blanket, shivering at the sudden cold. I had gotten toasty warm inside the extra thick blanket. I looked up at him in surprise.

"Don't you want me to take care of his for you?"

He smiled at me when his hands found the tie to my robe. He loosened it, opening the robe, allowing himself access to my hidden curves.

"Baby, your blow jobs are the best ever, but the feel of you around me is too heavenly to pass up. Besides, your cum face is addictive."

He grabbed my hips, pulling me up, directing over him. We moved in unison, moaning and whimpering until shockwaves rippled through my body as I convulsed on top of him.

"Oh FUCK, OH, EDWARD, Oh Fuck Yes! You make me feel so fucking good. Fuck, Fuck, FUUUUUCCCKKK!"

I felt him twitch and fill me as his own proclamations and variations of the word fuck emerged from his mouth. We collapsed back on the lounger, my head landing on his shoulder. I felt his hands rubbing circuits up and down my spine as he sighed into my ear.

"Who would have thought that sweet Bella Swan was an exhibitionistic, dirty talking, full on sex goddess?" He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "We haven't even been here eighteen hours yet, and you've already screamed fuck sixty-two times, my beautiful sexy vixen. I think that might just be a record!"

I chuckled and smacked him lightly on the chest before resting back into the crook of his neck.

"Well, one thing is for certain, my love," he whispered into my hair, his hands continuing to massage my back and moving over my hips to tenderly massage my aching thighs, "you definitely have no reason to fear that you're not enough for me. You are the most amazing woman I have ever known in every conceivable way. Now you've got me wondering if _I'm_ going to be able to keep up with _you_!"

I scoffed and shook my head. "As if..."

He sat up, tickling my sides. "What was that Alicia? You been watching Clueless again? Hmmmm?"

I was pushing away, cackling while his tickle torture continued, not even feeling the cold air that was assaulting my exposed skin through my open robe with our blanket forgotten to the floor.

"P...please s...stop E...ed...ward," I managed to squeak through my giggles.

His hands finally stopped their assault, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling my chest to his with a sigh.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I'm seriously not trying to push here, but I really hope you decide to move in with me. I know you feel it too...this is how we're meant to be, so why wait?"

He kissed me softly before running his hands through my tangled mass of hair. I laughed under my breath to think that was once softly curled, the mop on my head was now horribly tangled.

He nuzzled my neck, "Just think about it babe...okay?"

I nodded with a sigh as I smiled into his skin.

He took a deep breath before shifting to tie my robe closed, then his own, before helping me stand.

"I think it's time for breakfast. What do you say to eggs, bacon, and toast?"

I licked my lips with a hungrily. "Sounds delicious."

He smiled, pulling me with him through the French doors. He settled me onto a barstool at the island counter before shuffling around the kitchen, pulling skillets out and grabbing supplies from the fridge. I just sat back and observed his beautiful perfection. Man I was one damn lucky woman!

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_**The following songs/lyrics used in this chapter are the sole property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

_**Moonlight Sonata, by Beethoven**_

_**Love Song, by 311**_

_**Gorecki, by Lamb**_

_**All Around Me, by Flyleaf**_

_**Please review! I love reading what you guys have to say!**_


	26. Rearrangements and Rock Stars

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the songs mentioned in this chapter. Also I have no claims to the game Rock Band and have taken incredible creative license by changing how the game works and what songs are available for use with said game. THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR EROTIC CONTENT.**

_**Author's Note: We have yet another new playlist. This one will contain all the Rock Band Night songs. **__**There will be a link on my profile page as well as a picture link for this chapter too of the Halloween costumes if you want to take a peek. Thank you all so much for the reviews, favorites, alerts, etc. You guys are the coolest!**_

_**Also, I'd love it if you'd go check out my original story, stewed up in my own noggin. It's exclusively available on the TWCSlibrary (**_www .twcslibrary. com/viewstory. php?sid=2334) _**It is part of The First Annual Original fiction contest there. The winner gets offered a publishing contract and editorial support. I really hope you take a moment to give it a peek! I'm including an excerpt after the chapter to give you a taste :)**_

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**Rearrangements and Rock Stars**

**EPOV**

After breakfast, Bella and I made our way back up to the bedroom, where we actually did manage to pass out for a bit. Neither of us had slept in well over twenty four hours. Between the lack of sleep and our endless night of ravenous sex, we definitely needed to recuperate.

When I woke up, I discovered I was even sorer than I'd anticipated. Every muscle from head to toe ached with every move I made. I was the one with a job that required me to stay in shape, so I could only imagine how achy Bella had to be.

I woke up before Bella, sliding out of bed to sneak into the bathroom in the guest room so I didn't wake her prematurely. I ran another hot bath in the big Jacuzzi tub, before returning to Bella to find she had woken in my absence. I smiled, kissing her, before telling her I had a surprise.

I helped her off the bed, wincing as she hobbled next to me slowly. Yeah, as much as I was feeling it, she had it much worse. Finally, no longer able to take it, I swept her up into my arms bridal style. I carried her the rest of the way, ignoring my complaining arms and legs, and lowered her gently into the tub. I climbed in behind, pulling her to relax against my chest.

The warm swirling water was just what the doctor ordered. Once we finally willed ourselves to get out, we were both moving more smoothly. We slid into our bathrobes, slowly making our way downstairs to eat a light lunch with ibuprofen chasers and then planned to collapse onto the couch.

I took the time to start a new fire and went back to the couch, lying with my back propped in the corner of the arm, bringing Bella to rest against my chest between my legs. We sat and talked for a long time before Bella suggested we read a while. I went upstairs to unearth her copy of Pride and Prejudice and grabbed a random Louis Lamour book for myself from Uncle Carlisle's section of the library corner.

I had lost all track of time, beginning to really appreciate the plot line and the joy of relaxing and reading with Bella like this, when my phone began to buzz from the coffee table. I had left it on when we settled in. I picked it up to see it was Emmett, quickly hitting the button to answer the call.

"Hey Em, what's up?"

"Hey Edward, you better be treating my baby sis good, or I'll have to drive back over there and kick your ass!"

I chuckled, "Emmett, I promise you, I'm treating her like the princess she is. Did you really just call to check on us, or is something actually going on?"

Emmett snorted and then carried on in an excited tone. "I'd say something is going on...a really awesome something actually! Someone handed dirt on Trager over to the Feds, silver platter style, and he ran. It's been confirmed that he headed south. He was spotted in the St. Louis area of Missouri and is still headed away from us. They almost caught him twice now. The last time he just barely got away. I think they're actually going to get him next time. This shit may just be past us!"

I jumped up with a smile, causing Bella to almost fall off the couch. I shot her an apologetic look as I helped balance her and move to sit up. "That's great news, Em! Do they have any clue who ratted on Trager and why?"

Bella's eyes shot up to lock with mine. I smiled and nodded, mouthing that I'd explain when I was done.

"Nope, and that makes me a bit nervous actually, but I kind of get the feeling he was acting on his own with this mess. We haven't noticed any other tails or threats. I don't know if it was a personal vendetta or if he was trying to impress someone or what, but with him out of the picture I'm pretty sure we will all finally be able to relax again soon...at least once he's officially in custody."

"Well, I'm not so sure about that. Once he's out of the way, I'm sure we can back off some though. I hate to be rude, Emmett, but Bella's anxious to hear the news and I really want to get back to enjoying the day I have left here with your sister before we have to go back to work."

"Okay man, but, uh, can I talk to Bells a sec before we hang up?" He sounded nervous and I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Sure man, she's right here." I handed the phone to Bella who frowned as she took it from me tentatively.

I listened as she conversed quietly with her brother, agreeing to something Sunday night before bidding him good night. We planned to return home around eight in the evening, so these plans for immediately after.

"What was that all about?" I asked. I pulled her back against me as she had been, except this time I had her resting on her side so we could look at each other as we talked.

"He wants to have a group meeting tomorrow night. He's already arranged for Alice and Jasper to be there and said it has something to do with the apartment situation. I don't know what's up, but it makes me nervous. Do you think he's pissed because I'm considering moving in with you?"

I cocked my eyebrow with a wide smile. "Are you considering it?"

She smiled at me sheepishly. "I told you I would and I am, but seriously do you think that might be it?"

I shrugged, "If it was that then why have everyone else there?"

She shook her head. "No clue. I guess we'll find out tomorrow night. Now, what was Emmett telling you that made you so happy?"

I leaned closer, kissing her forehead. "Someone made Trager and he's on the run. He's been sighted in St. Louis and appears to be headed south. They've almost caught him twice and they will probably nail him next time. All of this security risk stuff might just be over soon, once he's in custody."

She smiled widely at me as she jumped onto her knees between my legs, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Really? Oh Edward, that's great news!" She squealed quite uncharacteristically in my ear as she jumped up and down on the couch cushion before pulling back to kiss me happily. I felt my smile peaking out on either side of her lips and she melted on top of me on the couch.

It didn't take long for the enthusiastic kissing to turn smoldering and before I knew what was happening she was dragging me onto the fuzzy rug in front of the fireplace, ripping my robe off and tossing it behind me. I did the same to hers and settled on top of her.

Finally, she broke away panting. She grabbed my face between her hands, looking me in the eye with an expression of pure lust. "Do you know how many times I daydreamed about you taking me on this rug in front of this fireplace?"

I moaned as she started grinding her hips up into mine to accentuate her point.

"I have spent every summer for the last four years trying to push away hot fantasies of you on top of me right in this very spot. I want you to fulfill my fantasy, Edward. Right here, right now."

I was already breathing hard and aching from the contact before, but listening to her tell me about her fireplace fantasy made it worse. The instant she finished speaking I pushed into her, moaning at how wet and tight she was. There is so much to be said for being with someone who doesn't bed hop constantly and has gone long stretches between lovers. I worshipped her neck and breasts as I continued to slowly pull myself in and out of her in a steady pace, adjusting my angle occasionally, trying to find the optimal position.

I grabbed her hands moving them above her head as I shifted one more time so I could watch her as I filled and left her. She arched and moaned. I smirked knowing that I had finally found the sweet spot. I sped my motions, fighting to control myself until I pushed her over the edge. It didn't take long until her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her eyebrows scrunched. Her neck arched back as her mouth opened wide and those beautiful nasty words poured out of her. The instant she screamed my name, I felt myself fill her with my own string of matching words as I pounded faster and faster into her writhing hips.

When she finally stopped whining and thrusting herself against me, I fell forward to rest my forehead on her chest as I fought to regain my breath.

"Agh Bella, you are amazing! You never cease to surprise me!"

She sighed and ran her right hand through my hair as her left scratched gently across my shoulder blade. We rested our way through the aftermath of yet another round. I actually had lost count sometime during the middle of the night, all I knew was each one was better than the one before.

We fell asleep again on the floor, not waking up until our stomachs growled angrily at us. We reluctantly pulled ourselves together again, even more stiff thanks to sleeping on the hard wooden floor.

We spent a few minutes discussing supper, deciding to grill out the steaks we had found in the fridge. We realized that since we were going to grill out, we really ought to be dressed. We both hobbled upstairs; opting to take separate showers for fear that we'd never eat if we tried to take one together, and dressed before going back down to the kitchen.

By the time I was done, Bella was already in the kitchen with marinated steaks sitting on the counter while she scrubbed potatoes, wrapping them in foil to add to the racks along with the steak. She also had a few corn cobs still in their husks on the counter that appeared to be the next project.

I stepped out onto the deck to fire up the grill and get my cooking area set up before going back in. I stepped up to the sink next to Bella to begin shucking the corn husks and scrubbing away the silks. After her potatoes were done, she grabbed an ear and joined me. In no time at all, we were walking back out onto the deck with our meal ready to be cooked. She settled into a deck chair to watch while I exercised my masculine grilling chops.

We sat around and chatted, keeping an eye on the food and watched the stars as they began to peak out from behind the cloud cover in the night sky. By the time the food was done the sky was clear and all the stars once again reflected in the smooth surface of the lake in front of us.

We opted to dine al fresco; Bella sat the patio table with silverware, plates, and glasses and we ate out in the slight chill of the October night under the stars. When we were done we worked together to clean up our mess and wandered upstairs, falling into bed wrapped together and falling asleep almost immediately.

The sun woke us early Sunday morning since we forgot to close the curtains of the bedroom again. We slowly eased out of bed, moving a little better than the day before, but not by much. We found some breakfast in the kitchen. Bella convinced me to take a walk along the beach when the sun finally crested completely over the water lined horizon.

It was a small thing, walking hand in hand down the beach front, laughing and talking, but I honestly believe it will be one of my favorite memories of all time for as long as I live. Bella was glowing between the sex and apparent joy; it made me excited to know that I was the reason for both. While we walked, she would occasionally throw her head back in unrestrained laughter. I reveled in the fact that I caused that laugh. Finally, I was the one filling Bella's life with joy.

We reluctantly went back upstairs to pack our things so we didn't have to deal with it later, hauling them down to the main floor. Then we walked around, cleaning up messes we had left behind and stripping the bed to be washed.

We spent the rest of the morning relaxing together on the couch, sharing a light lunch in front of the fireplace, and making love there one more time after we were finished. We moved to the deck to enjoy a bit more fresh air before we had to lock up and head back toward the city.

As we drove away from the beach house, I couldn't help but notice how Bella leaned her head against the glass, looking longingly at the house. She turned back for one last look when we made our turn onto the street that led us back to the highway. As we left the place that would forever be the place we cemented our love together, I reached over to grab her hand, kissing it gently.

"I promise you, sweetheart. We'll come back again on our own as often as Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle will allow."

She smiled, tightening her hand in mine. We sped back into the city, going straight to my building where we parked and hauled our luggage up to my place. We opened the door to the apartment and dropped our bags in the hallway. I turned to put away my key as Bella went ahead of me into the living room.

I followed soon after, dragging our bags with me. When I turned the corner into the living room, I bumped into Bella, frozen in place. She was staring down the hallway toward the guest room, looking somewhere between mortified and amused. I looked at her questioningly before I heard it.

"Ah, ah, oh Jakey, Ohhhhhhhhh Jake! YES! YES! Don't Stop!"

"Oh Mel, Oh Mellie, Fuck yes! Oh you feel so good Mellie!"

I dropped my bag with a loud thud. I felt my hand go straight to the bridge of my nose, grabbing tightly. Instantly, the moans stopped from the hallway. I felt myself growling before I felt a small hand on my arm. I looked up to see Bella shaking her head at me.

The door to the guest room slowly opened. Out popped Jake's head and naked upper body, he looked surprised and scared. I took a deep breath and sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Calm down, Jake, I knew you guys were doing this earlier when I asked about the gym. I just hoped you would have paid better attention to the time and not subjected us to hearing THAT upon arriving home. You two get dressed and meet us in the living room in five minutes."

Jake looked a bit more relaxed, nodding with a big gulp before disappearing into the guestroom again with an abrupt slam of the door. I shook my head slowly with another sigh. I picked up the bags again, rushing past the door into our bedroom. Once safely inside, I looked around appraisingly, hoping not to see any signs that they had invaded our bed room.

Bella chuckled behind me. She followed me through the door, closing it quietly behind her.

"You know, Edward, at least they were in the guestroom. Can you imagine if Carlisle or Esme had decided to drop by the beach house at any point this weekend? Just be grateful we only had to hear them!"

I groaned in disgust, collapsing on the bed, feeling Bella's weight join me shortly after. Thankfully, everything appeared and smelled untainted. After a few minutes, we left the room to find a red faced Melissa and Jake sitting, holding hands on the couch. They were both too embarrassed to look us in the face. I couldn't help but snicker, which caused them to look up nervously.

I rolled my eyes, "Jeez, you two look like a couple of teenagers caught by their parents or something. It's not a big deal. Like I said, I would rather not have heard it, but I sort of figured it out on Tuesday. As long as it stayed in that bedroom, and Melissa gives it a thorough cleaning tomorrow, I don't have an issue with it, okay?"

They both nodded, looking relieved but still embarrassed. We sat down and asked how the rest of the week went, letting them know the news about Trager. They both looked relieved. We sat and talked a bit more before excusing ourselves to go join the meeting over at Bella and Emmett's apartment, telling them to lock up on their way out.

When we walked into the apartment, the boxes that had taken up the majority of the space in the living room had been shifted to the far wall, leaving room for three on the couch and two on the love seat. Emmett and Rosalie were parked on the couch while Alice and Jasper were snuggling on the love seat. I walked to the spare seat on the couch, pulling Bella into my lap, sitting her cross ways facing Emmett and Rose. Emmett looked over and smiled at Bella, looking pleased at her mood and yet a bit contrite.

Bella shifted on my lap slightly, glancing back and forth between the two couples before sighing.

"Okay, what's going on? What's with the big powwow about roommate situations?"

Emmett sighed, pulling Rose closer to his side, rubbing his hand up and down her arm comfortingly.

"Well, I hate to mess up all the plans everyone made with the whole apartment thing, but uh, the thing is..." His voice dropped off and we were all waiting for him to finish, but Emmett seemed completely frozen up.

Bella got up and crossed to kneel in front of Emmett, putting her hands on his leg and casting a concerned gaze at his face.

"What's up Em? You're worrying me."

Emmett sighed again and smiled. "It's not a bad thing at all, except that we have to screw up your and Alice's plans. You see Bells, Rose and I are going to need a two bedroom apartment soon. Rose's place is only a single."

Bella's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. I felt like my face probably matched hers.

"You mean...but...really?" Bella stammered looking between Emmett and Rose with a big smile.

Emmett and Rose looked at each other, beaming, before Rose shifted her gaze back to Bella.

"Yeah, Bella, in about eight months or so, you are going to be an aunt!"

Bella squealed a nearly super sonic tone. She practically jumped across the couch, hugging both Em and Rose around the neck at the same time.

"Oh my gosh, this is so amazing! I thought you couldn't have kids, Rose...didn't the doctors say?"

"Yes," Rose interrupted excitedly, "but as you know, doctors are human and aren't always one hundred percent right...thank God!"

"There's more Bella," Emmett interrupted, quickly grabbing Bella's hand. "We're getting married in two weeks. We're just going to have a small civil ceremony at city hall, nothing big, but we'd love it if you'd stand up with us."

"Of course!" Bella squealed with her face shining nearly as brightly as the sun. "I'd be honored."

Emmett glanced toward me and the other couple on the love seat. "We'd love you all to be a part of it actually, if you would be willing."

Everyone smiled and nodded, moving over to congratulate the two of them. Bella disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a tray full of wine goblets, a bottle of wine, and an apple juice for Rose. We toasted the happy couple before settling back down returning to logistics.

Bella looked cautiously at Alice and Alice looked sheepishly back at Bella. They both started talking at the same time. The rest of us listened with smiles on our faces.

"I hope you don't hate me for this, but Jasper/Edward asked me to move in with him and I really think I should."

They froze when they were done, glancing at one another, and then to Jasper and I as we both started chuckling in our seats. Jasper looked at me, winking. I nodded his way with a smirk while the girls continued to gape at one another before breaking out into giggles.

"Oh thank God. I was so afraid you would be hurt, Bella. I wasn't going to do it since we were just about to move in because I didn't want to bail on you. Then with this whole apartment thing, it seemed like it was meant to be."

Bella nodded from my lap in agreement. "Same here...I wasn't totally sure until I found out about Emmett and Rose needing this apartment, but then I knew it was the last piece of the puzzle."

She turned to me with a big smile. "That is, if the offer still stands."

I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. "I told you the offer was on the table for keeps. I'd love nothing more than for you to move in with me."

Bella beamed at me. She leaned forward to kiss my nose before glancing back at Emmett and Rose and then at Alice and Jasper before jumping up and down on my lap in excitement, causing me to grunt uncomfortably.

"You know what this means right?"

"Ugh," I grasped her hips to halt her bounce, speaking with a strained voice, 'No, love, what?"

She giggled, "I'm assuming Alice and Jasper will want something bigger than Rose's place too...right?"

She cast a look at the couple on the love seat and they nodded; Alice's face grew brighter in understanding.

"So now we have the perfect place for Tanya! It's affordable, relatively close to the hospital, and in a safe building. It's perfect!"

The girls immediately started discussing logistics and moving dates as the three of us guys excused ourselves to slink off to the kitchen.

"Congratulations man, how do you feel?" I asked Emmett pounding his back comfortingly.

He cocked his head, looking at me with a smile. "I feel great, man. You know I always thought I'd be scared at the idea of marriage and kids, but with Rose, it seems right. This baby, with what the doctors said and all, it's kind of like a miracle. Rose always wanted kids, and now we get to have one. I get to marry the woman I love, and have a kid too. I'm ecstatic!"

"That's awesome, man," I said lifting my glass to him and taking a drink.

"What about you two, you sure you're ready to take the big moving in step already? You guys all just hooked up."

I smiled and nodded instantly. "Emmett, you know how I feel about Bella, how long I've loved her, even if I was too stupid to realize it. She's it for me, man. I can't explain it and I know you don't even want me to try, but the two of us together, it's just right. We fit and it's just easy and perfect. The only time I feel like I'm at home is when I'm with her. I'm meant to be with her. I wouldn't be happy if she were anywhere else but with me."

Emmett nodded knowingly, a wide smile on his face, before turning to Jasper with raised eyebrows.

"I haven't known Alice as long as Edward, but pretty much ditto."

Emmett and I rolled our eyes with a chuckle. Typical Jasper.

A couple of hours later, Bella and I left with box full of Bella's clothes and uniforms for work. We headed back to our apartment to settle in for the night. I was so relieved and excited that it was, in fact, now _our_ apartment. I couldn't wait for her to move in permanently.

The next few days flew by quickly. We all returned to work, trying to relax back into our day to day lives. Bella found out upon returning to the hospital that while the med school board had allowed her the week of 'family crisis leave,' she was expected to make up the deficit of time by working an extra six hours every other day for the next few weeks until she made up for the time she had lost beginning on Tuesday, leaving her completely exhausted.

I was grateful that she was already staying with me full time, even though she hadn't officially moved in yet. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten to see much of her. After the last week with her all the time, that would have been completely unbearable.

I insisted on escorting her to and from work every day. Trager still had not been apprehended. Even though confirmed sightings had him in Georgia, I just didn't trust that it was all over. Bella became complacent again. She started calling me overprotective and pretty much everyone agreed with her. What none of them understood is that Bella was my entire life now. I couldn't risk her even the slightest bit if Trager was still out and about in the world.

Wednesday night was Halloween and the official first night of Rock Band Wednesdays. The girls planned it all out on purpose, knowing that most people tend to go out on Halloween. They knew that if they could get people roped into the idea of Rock Band Wednesdays at Dooley's along with enticing them with the idea of the Battle of the Rock Bands, then it would be more likely to take off.

Tonight was a little different, though. The pixie insisted that Bella go back to Hancock with her and that I scram, meeting them at Dooley's. Jake had agreed to escort them from Hancock to the bar, where we boyfriends would take over for the rest of the night. Alice had evil plans I was sure, and I was nervous to see what she had up her sleeve.

I did as I was instructed though. I escorted Alice and Bella from work to the building, leaving once the elevator doors were safely closed. Alice's parents had returned from France and were pissed, not only that everything was going on without their knowledge, but more the fact that security had such large holes in spite of us actually beefing it up for the duration of the situation.

Tony was summarily dismissed, but thankfully he and his family were at least safe. The day all of the insanity went down at Hancock, Alice insisted on helping Tony's son get admitted to a live in rehab facility that kept him safe from any retribution from Trager. Tony was penitent and Alice tried to lobby for him, but in the end, he had lost the trust of both his fellow employees and the residents of the building. The rest of the staff was also reevaluated, several were replaced with hand picked security experts. Hancock was now one of the safest buildings in Chicago, and would remain that way with monthly checkups on everyone's history to ensure another breech would not be possible.

I returned to my place to slip out of my work clothes and into my James Dean get up. It was our band's theme for the night. We were all to show up with the typical _Rebel Without a Cause_ look, white t-shirt with pack of cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve, black jeans with a black studded belt and boots and a leather motorcycle jacket to push the bad boy persona. We each were also supposed to slick back our hair and carry a comb in our back pockets to occasionally run through our hair like in the move Grease.

Once I was ready, I felt uncomfortable in the clothes and my hair felt disgusting. I sighed and shrugged, pushing back my issues. It was just for one night, for Halloween, and it was all for Mama D. I took one more look at my reflection after sliding the black leather jacket in place and made my way down the six blocks to Dooley's.

I walked in, seeing the guys across the room, but there was no sign of our girls. I had to shoo away three different bimbos who were already trashed in their skimpy little costumes that were supposed to be sexy but were really just trashy. Yeah, I know, I know, I would have been all over them a few months ago, but times have changed. Knowing now what lurks under Bella's sweet innocent clothes, trashy skanks weren't as appealing as they used to be.

I grabbed a drink, settling in next to the guys, each of us wearing the regulation greaser outfit. Andy's hair had finally grown back a bit. He shaved the rest of his hair short to match the short patch where he had been shaved for surgery. It was still too short to pull of the greaser look with us, so he wore a black leather Marlon Brando hat instead.

We managed to down two beers before the girls strolled in with long coats over their costumes. Each were done up with lots of make up. Alice and Rose both wore wigs. Rose's hair was tucked up under a short black bob sort of wig, while Alice had a long wavy black wig over her short spiky do. Bella definitely looked different but still amazingly sexy. Her hair had been sprayed black and put into a high ponytail on top of her head. She was sporting a pair of very blue contacts. They were actually a bit creepy for me since I was so accustomed to her warm brown eyes. Her makeup was very heavy, thick black eyeliner giving her a bit of a goth look with deep red lipstick. Like I said, different, slightly creepy, but fully sexy...and I hadn't even seen her outfit yet.

I offered to help her with her coat, but she refused citing Alice's threat of death if she showed her costume too soon. All would be revealed when they performed their first song on stage. Everything was set up and Alice had done an awesome job.

The PS3 was out with the Bluetooth instruments all wirelessly connected. A large screen was mounted both behind the band, with another one hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room. Images from the PS3 were projected on both. Tonight was a packed house. Everyone was keeping their fingers crossed that this would help spread the word about Rock Band nights and the contest.

Rose was drinking a juice, but all the other girls took one shot before slowly sipping on a mixed drink to build their courage before taking the stage. They would go first to help warm up the crowd, doing a three song set. We would go next with one song. Hopefully by then, enough people would sign up to keep the party going. There was a sign in board to the left of the stage that Jerry, the bouncer Alice hired to help organize and keep the list going smoothly, would coordinate from there.

Soon, the girls all nervously disappeared into the bathroom, Andy's girlfriend Andrea following closely behind. A few minutes later, the door opened and Emmett, Jasper, and I watched in awe as the girls emerged from the bathroom, each looking amazing in their own right.

Krista's costume was the most reserved, going for an early day Britney Spears look with a tank top, short sleeve button up, denim skirt and tights with her hair up in pigtails. Alice was not far behind, wearing a gauzy looking knee length gray dress with little straps. I thought for sure she'd be dressed sexier than Bella. Rose was definitely showing the most skin in a pair of extremely black short-shorts over a pair of hose with a mostly unzipped black jacket that only came down to just below her chest exposing her entire midriff. Emmett whooped for her, leaning over whispering that he was warned that she was going to dress extra skimpy because she was determined to show off as much of her body as she could before the baby stretched her out of shape.

Then I saw her, the last one out of the door was my Bella, and oh my fucking God. She was wearing black tights and boots under a red corset top thing, leather belts crossing her stomach that looked almost exactly like Amy Lee in one of Evanescense's music videos. She also had fabric flowing from her waist in a kind of skirt and had arm bands with the long red strands of fabric hanging down over her arms. At the moment, I couldn't for the life of me tell you which video it was from, because all I saw was my incredibly sexy goth Bella looking a hell of a lot hotter than Amy Lee.

They took the stage, and to our surprise, Alice took the drums while Bella grabbed a guitar and Rose went to stand behind the microphone. Emmett and I shot surprised looks at Jasper who chuckled.

"Alice didn't want to show off the best first, so they're all starting off with their weakest instruments."

Emmett and I looked at each other a bit before shrugging and turning our attention to Rose who had already enraptured the room. She took advantage of the attention by explaining the Rock Band idea, the process of signing up to sing, and for entering the contest. Bella went into the menu and selected the appropriate settings and chose their first song of the night, which explained why Rose was singing and how she was dressed.

Bella started off on the guitar line, Alice following soon after on drums. Bella was barely keeping up on hard as Rose began to sing Rhianna's _Shut Up and Drive_.

I cleared my throat as Emmett drooled all over the table, not even thinking how screwed we were. If this was them on their worst instruments, then we were likely to get our asses handed to us when they decided to take on their best positions.

I watched Bella as she focused intently on the screen, her tongue poking between her lips. She was really struggling and missing a lot of notes, but thankfully, nobody seemed to notice thanks to Rose's seductive hip swivels...that is until Bella failed out anyway. After Alice brought her back, she managed to hang on until the end.

Once they finished the first song, everyone but Krista shifted positions. Rose took the guitar from Bella, Bella taking the drumsticks from Alice, and Alice taking the microphone. Rose selected the next song and began to dominate the guitar riffs with Bella joining in on drums shortly after. It was then that I understood...they were all dressed as the singer performing their songs of the night. Alice was dressed like Lacey Mosley of Flyleaf and was going to sing _Fully Alive_.

Once again, I was totally focused on Bella, only occasionally taking note of the pixie with one hell of a voice and stage presence. She bounced around the stage, not unlike Lacey herself. Bella was, once again, completely focused on the screen. She nibbled her lip this time, having a bit more confidence in her skill. When it was all said and done, she had managed ninety one percent, which wasn't all that shabby for someone who claimed to suck at all the instruments.

The girls all shifted again. Bella took center stage, sitting the microphone in the mic stand, holding it between her hands. She locked eyes with me, shooting me a crooked, sexy as hell, smile that made me shift a little in my seat. Dear Lord, the things I was going to do to her when we got home tonight! Thank heaven she lived with me now more or less.

Alice selected the song, which I knew would be an Evanescence song, setting everyone to expert. I was mesmerized as Bella held the microphone between her hands on the stand. She began crooning the first lines in a warm tone, eyeing the audience intently, really interacting with them, and getting them involved. It was amazing to see her so confident on stage. She was confident most of the time in real life, but on stage, it was like I was seeing this whole new side of her.

The chorus came and I just about fell out of my chair when she yanked the microphone off the stand. Her voice rang loud and strong across the room as she pumped her hands at the audience. She jerked forward, casting her whole body into the song, along with all of her emotions. I almost felt like I was in the actual music video as the whole room began screaming and chanting, pumping their fists. Emmett, Jasper, and I watched on in awe. It was magic and it was all coming from my beautiful Bella.

When the song was done, the crowd was screaming wildly. The only comment I heard from our table was Emmett, leaning back crossing his arms in a huff and yelling, "Dudes we are so fucked!"

I barely heard him because I was already halfway up to the stage, uncontrollably drawn toward my beautiful Bella.

**BPOV**

I had been so nervous about getting up on stage and playing the instruments, much less singing lead. I was stunned by the crowd's reaction. It encouraged me even further as I put my heart and soul into _Going Under_. It was amazing, the energy, the thrill, the reaction from Edward...all one hundred percent worth the nerves and trauma of being dressed in a corset!

I wasn't even off the stage when Edward grabbed me, pulling me down into his arms. He latched onto my mouth hungrily, pillaging deeply with his tongue. As he pulled me hard to his body, I felt exactly how much my performance affected him. I smirked up at him with a wink, he growled in response.

He leaned down into my ear, growling seductively before he nibbled on the lobe, "Oh, my beautiful Bella, we are going straight home. I'm going to make you scream my name before the night is over, I promise you that."

I shivered, running my hands over his chest and down the waistband of his jeans before rubbing him discretely between us with my hand.

"I'm going to hold you to that, hot stuff."

I chuckled as I watched his eyes roll into the back of his head. He moaned quietly.

"Bella, I have to get up on stage and sing lead in two minutes. If you don't stop, I'm not going to be able to be in front of an audience without giving them a much dirtier show than they paid for."

I sighed with a chuckle before letting him go and taking a step back.

"Your grandma riding naked on a donkey in the desert."

He looked at me like I was crazy, while appearing to suppress the need to puke.

I laughed with a shrug. "Well it took care of your problem anyway, didn't it?"

He cinched his eyes closed with a disgusted nod.

I laughed harder.

"Please, never put an image like that in my head again though, love. You may have ruined our whole night with that little mental image."

I laughed again before giving him a kiss for luck. I made my way through the crowd, thanking them for the encouragement I got along the way, until I fell into a seat at our table next to Alice. She already had a drink ready and waiting. She smiled at me with a wink.

"You really are a rock star, Bella. Why didn't you ever try for a recording contract or something?"

I looked down at the table and began tearing my napkin into strips.

"A lot of reasons, one being I'm not good enough, and another being that I always wanted to be a doctor. It's a much more noble profession." There were many more, deeper, darker reasons that I wasn't going to get into tonight. I didn't miss the sad look Rose cast my way, though.

Alice rolled her eyes before looking up at the stage as our boys stepped up to the plate. Emmett was on drums, Jasper was on guitar, Andy was on bass, and Edward was on vocals. I smiled when Emmett set them all on expert and chose Nine Inch Nails '_The Hand That Feeds_'.

They started smoothly, not missing a single note. With the first word out of Edward's mouth, the girls went wild. He smirked sexily at them as he sang along with the words, really getting into the lyrics, throwing himself forward over the crowd. They were eating it up, looking like they were about to eat HIM up. Thank goodness I chased the chubby away, or else we'd have even more problems tonight than we already expected.

About halfway through, he shifted his gaze from the screaming girls, all lusting after my beautiful boy, centering his gaze dead on me. He gave me a flirtatious wink and my sexy smirk.

I smiled, licking my lips, bringing my finger up to my mouth to nibble on it seductively, before sucking on the tip.

His eyes grew wide. He shifted a bit, narrowing his eyes at me in warning.

I lifted my hand to flash him 'I love you' in sign language and blew him a kiss.

He reached out mid song, managing to pretend to surreptitiously catch and place on his mouth, without being obvious about it.

I threw my head back and laughed.

He winked again before returning his gaze to the crowd.

As soon as they were done, they were met with just as loud of an applause as we had earned. Edward had to peel at least a dozen drunken groupies off of him before he could even get off the stage.

He looked my way for help.

I smiled and stood up, sashaying over to him. Squeezing between the people in the crowd, I wrapped my hands around his neck, claiming his lips.

His hands snaked around my waist and held tight.

I pushed my tongue in, delving deep, being sure to show the whole world exactly how I was kissing him. I pulled back just in time for him to delve right back, removing all doubt.

When we pulled away, I was getting the stink eye from all the groupies. I just smiled at them sweetly.

"Sorry girls, but Masen here is permanently off the market. Go find another boy toy, this one is mine, and I don't share."

I turned, pulling him away from the group by the hand, only to have him grab me from behind, grinding himself into my butt and groaning in my ear.

"Oh my fucking God, I am so going to fuck you ten ways from Sunday tonight."

I moaned and melted into him, turning my face to meet his lips, before breaking free to finish our walk to the table. When we got there, we were met with five pair of amused eyes and one pair of furious ones. Three guesses who was pissed, but you'd only need one.

"What the fuck, Edward?" Emmett growled across the table. "I don't need to see you being that way with her in front of me."

Edward shrugged, "Sorry, Em, she started it. It was mostly to get the skanks off me, anyway. Besides, she's moving in with me, I don't think there's any denying what's going on behind closed doors anymore."

Emmett moaned, dropping his head to the table with a loud bang, making everyone laugh. We got another round of drinks for everyone and chatted with Mama D before returning to the table. Quite a few bands signed up to play, but unfortunately, only a few were decent. On the plus side, each of them submitted an application to join the battle of the bands.

The night seemed to drag on forever, in no small thanks to the fact that I really wanted to get Edward home. The sexual tension was overwhelming. I really needed to just feel him against me.

When the final band played, we quickly bailed, practically running to the apartment. Edward grabbed me, picking me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist in the elevator as we traveled up to the penthouse floor. The doors opened and there stood Lauren, who thankfully, had become a ghost as of late. We didn't even bother to stop kissing as we pushed past her and made our way down the hall.

Edward opened the door without looking. He proceeded directly to the couch, where he put me down and immediately began to fidget with the corset, getting frustrated because he couldn't get it off.

"We could just leave it on, you know," I whispered in his ear earning a groan. I pushed off his coat, pulling his shirt over his head. I quickly removed his belt,undoing his pants, pushing them to the floor. Meanwhile, he grabbed my breasts, pulling them over the top of the cups of the corset, teasing them endlessly.

When he was fully disrobed, he reached down to pull my tights and underwear out of the way before kissing me hard. He turned me around to bend me over the arm of the couch, entering immediately into our first primal union.

So far, every time we had been together, it was mostly sweet and gentle, full of love and tenderness and sharing together It was wonderful, but there's always room for a bit of unbridled passion and animal magnetism, which this most certainly was.

We were loud and unrestrained as he manipulated my body easily over the edge, following quickly behind. He collapsed against my back, kissing my neck and shoulders, as we struggled to regain control of our motor functions.

"How did I ever get so lucky, Bella? Wow! You are everything I could ever hope for, love. I have no doubt I could make love to you, or fuck your brains out, every day for the rest of my life and never have enough of you."

I sighed contentedly; his butterfly kisses along my shoulder blades making my arousal begin to build again. I moaned appreciatively, shifting under him.

He seemed to take notice and began to get more excited by the new reactions. Now that the urgency was somewhat relieved, I took time to show him how to help me out of the corset.

When my body was free, he resumed his exploration of my back with butterfly kisses that drove me wild. Who would have thought of the back as an erogenous zone? Yet I was so ready for another go it wasn't even funny.

Edward helped me back up, removing my boots and tights, still hanging at my calves. Once the last of my clothes were dispatched, he carried me into the bedroom where he resumed lavishing attention on my back while using his hands to tease the rest of me. This time, it was making love again as we explored new knowledge about my body.

We finally fell asleep, wrapped together in our bed, in our room, in our apartment. It wasn't his anymore, it was ours, and each day I was feeling a little bit more and more like it truly was ours.

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_**Author's Note: Here is an excerpt from my original story The Children of Creation. Link is in my opening chapter A/N.**_

_**The Guardian's hairs stood on end as he felt the presence of a greater being before he heard them. He tensed, grasping his weapon out of the waistband of his jeans at the ready as he followed his charge deeper into the ocean of empty darkness. He heard voices in the distance when his ward reached the middle of the room, but the voices were not what inspired him to activate his weapon, the blade extending from the hilt in a golden glow. His charge and his companions were completely unaware of his unease or the withdrawal of his weapon as he prepared to defend them from whatever lay in wait.**_

_**The Guardian spun on his heel to look behind him as he heard the musical laugh, his sword at the ready in front of him. A moment later, a figure entered his field of vision from behind a black pillar.**_

"_**Lower your sword, Nathaniel," the familiar and comforting voice echoed through the cavernous room. Nathaniel lowered his sword, retracting the flaming blade as his body relaxed. **_

_**He smiled at his consort as he reached his side. "Gabriel, it is good to see you, my brother. What brings you to the Terran this lovely evening?"**_

_**He watched the unearthly beauty of his superior, one of the most beautiful of his kind. His eyes shimmered golden, even in the dim light cast by Nathaniel's charge's tiny light.**_

"_**You are being reassigned, Nathaniel. I am sending Zandriel to replace you in the morn. Be prepared to move on to a new charge by first light."**_

_**Nathaniel stared at Gabriel in shock. Reassignment was extremely rare for any Guardian. As a rule, a Guardian was given a lifelong ward to watch over, only reassigned once the lifetime of a ward had reached completion.**_

_**Gabriel smiled, knowing the reason for Nathaniel's surprise. "This is a very rare case that needs special care. The Master has decided that you are the best for the job."**_

_**Nathaniel nodded, knowing it was not his place to question the Master's plan. "Where is my new charge located, brother?"**_


	27. Moving Ahead and Protective Mama Bears

**Disclaimer: I don't own any recognizable characters and am doing this just for fun :)!**

**Perpetual thanks to SassenachWench and Sihaya9 for keeping my crap straight!**

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**Moving Ahead and Protective Mama Bears**

**BPOV**

The month after we returned from Minnesota was completely insane. I was meeting myself coming and going as I struggled to work in the extra hours, packing, and moving in with Edward. In addition to all of that, I was also helping Tanya come to Chicago to interview for the job and show her Rose's apartment, arranging for her to move back home. I also had all of the sister-in-law duties of shopping with Alice and Rose for a dress to wear for her wedding, and helping to plan the few details for their City Hall nuptials. The most stressful of all though was preparing for Elizabeth's impending visit. Everything seemed to be happening all in one big, stressful flurry. The only bit of peace I received the entire month were the few stolen hours of rest and relaxation I would get with Edward at night.

Moving me in with Edward was probably the easiest task of all the ones facing us during the month of November. Edward already had a fully furnished apartment, whatever furniture I did have was not nearly as nice as what he already owned. I opted to leave behind my dresser for the new baby and sent my bed over to the apartment Tanya was going to be moving into in the following weeks. The rest of my things fit easily in a couple dozen boxes, which I packed in the course of one day off. The boys managed to load up and transport it all to Edward's unsuspecting apartment less than an hour later.

The biggest obstacle of the move for me was not moving out, but rather unpacking in my new home. Edward's apartment was so elegant and perfectly decorated by Esme's expert eye that I couldn't bring myself to put out my little knickknacks and mismatched picture frames that would disrupt the elegant flow. At the same time, to not have the blown glass fountain my mother bought for me in Branson when I was five, or the picture of the four of us at Disney World sitting cockeyed in the Mickey Mouse ear frame on display in the living room, simply made me feel as though the space truly was not mine.

I looked around the space forlornly with a sigh, slouching onto the couch with my two most prized possessions still sitting in my hands. I could hear the murmured conversations coming from the kitchen where everyone congregated to cool off with a beer around the island counter.

A second later, I felt two warm hands squeezing my shoulders lovingly before his breath brushed past my ear.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? You look so sad."

I sighed again, shrugging my shoulders and lifting his hands that continued to gently caress my muscles as his thumbs moved in small firm circles along my spine.

"My things don't look right here. This place is so perfect the way it is. Mickey would look so stupid up there." I whined, gesturing with the Mickey frame in my right hand toward the shelves full of shiny silver frames and expensive looking statuettes where my cheap little chochkies would look even more worthless.

I felt his hands leave my shoulders. With a sigh, he took the frame from my hand. He stepped around the couch to pick up a sparkling silver frame with an aging picture of our group in front of the carousel at Six Flags that sat next to the collage frame full of pictures of Edward and me, replacing it with my cheesy Mickey Mouse frame. He stepped back with a wide smile.

"Perfect."

I scoffed from the couch. "Yeah, about as perfect as putting my finger painting from kindergarten next to a Renoir…the truth of the matter is that my stuff just doesn't fit in here."

Edward huffed, picked up a box, and began grabbing all of the decorations off of the shelves and tossing them in unceremoniously. I jumped up, grabbing a porcelain angel that kept guard over the photograph of him with Edward Sr. and Elizabeth before it could snap under the pressure of the fall.

"Edward! What are you doing?"

He grabbed a few more random decorations, tossing them around my hands that protectively cradled the beautiful keepsake.

"None of this stuff is really me anyway, Bella. This is all Esme. Anything of yours belongs on these shelves a hell a lot more than," he picked up some glass block with a Chinese emblem embellished deeply inside the glass, "a piece of glass that has a symbol in a language I don't even know and would never choose for myself."

He tossed it in the box, resulting in the unmistakable sound of some of the more delicate decorations shattering under the new weight.

I quickly set the angel down gently and turned again to grab his hands. "Stop, Edward, these are too nice to destroy just to make a point."

He shrugged, moving the last of the items in his hand to the box. He placed them inside more gently before turning back, taking my face between his hands.

"We can redecorate. You can ask Aunt Esme to help if you want, but just know that I could give a shit about any of the things in this apartment. It's all just stuff that I didn't even pick out myself, with the exception of the things in my room. I want you here with me, and I want your stuff all over this place. Got it?"

I smiled and nodded.

He leaned forward to kiss my forehead before shifting down to place a sweet lingering kiss on my mouth.

I wrapped my hands up to bury in his hair, relaxing into his touch, not breaking away until the sound of clearing throats behind us startled me.

I turned to see Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice, and Andy all smirking at us from the kitchen doorway. Em spoke up first.

"About time, I always thought the decorations in here were a bit girly for you anyway, man."

Jasper snorted and Edward rolled his eyes as they all stepped into the room. They began to pull things out of boxes, asking me if there's a specific place I would like something to go. I told them to put things wherever they thought they fit best and I'd rearrange later if I didn't like it. I'm not really picky. I turned back around picking up the porcelain angel gently, replacing her next to the picture of his family.

"I always loved this one. It's perfect."

Edward came up beside me, taking my Mickey Mouse picture frame from its current position, and sitting it on the other side of the angel.

"Now it's perfect. She can watch over both of our families now."

I looked over at him through watery eyes and smiled. "Thank you."

He shook his head and kissed my temple, wrapping his arm around my shoulder with a squeeze. I rested my head on his shoulder, looking at the pictures of our families before our lives were both completely blown to smithereens. In so many ways, our lives were similar. We had both suffered great loss, bearing deep scars from the trauma. We were also balms for one another, slowly healing the pain together.

Next, I picked up the blown glass fountain, sitting it on a shelf closer to the window where it would catch the light. I stepped back, observing it with a sigh.

"That's really pretty," Alice sighed next to me as she handed me a stack of photos in frames to be placed in new locations.

"Thanks, it was the first delicate thing my mom ever bought for me. I felt like I was finally growing up when she let me keep it in my room. Considering my proclivity for clumsiness and destruction, it's a miracle it survived this long!"

Everyone listening in chuckled. We all worked together, finding homes for my belongings. It seemed as though everything had a story. They all listened with rapt attention as Emmett and I would tease and laugh over old memories surrounding little bottles of sand with shells from Florida, and my snowflake made of salt from our visit to Salt Lake City. I hadn't even realized how much I missed these stories. While it made me sad, it was nice to share memories of my youth with my new family; my Edward, my boys, and my girls.

We worked hard all day that Saturday, managing to get most things put away. Edward even allowed the girls to enter our bedroom to put away my clothes. Finally, when the day was done, we thanked everyone by buying pizza. After saying goodbye, we shuffled into our bedroom, collapsing on our bed with a tired sigh.

"I'm tired," I moaned next to Edward.

He reached over and wrapped an arm under my shoulders, rolling my body toward him. He wrapped his other arm over my shoulder to secure me to his side with a sigh.

"Me too, but I'm so glad you're finally officially here." He looked down with tired sparkling eyes. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled back, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "I love you, too."

I curled into his side, looking around at the chaos of the bedroom, wondering how on earth I'll ever be able to get everything put away in this room. Every square inch was covered in sports paraphernalia. Then I started thinking about the space still available in the living room.

"Hey Edward, is it crucial that all of this stuff stays in here?"

He looked over, a worried expression marring his perfect face.

I smiled, running my hand through his hair comfortingly. I rolled to rest on top of him so we could look face to face as I chuckled.

"Don't panic, I'm not going to throw out your goodies. I just thought that maybe we could move some of it out into the living room. There's a lot of spare space. I think our whole house should be your sanctuary, not just this room. Would you be okay with that?"

He smiled and nodded. "That would be fine. I think it's time to change things up. Oh, and I wanted to say straight out that this place is as much yours as mine. I know you; you're going to be reluctant to invite people over because of my whole 'inner sanctum' rules of the past, but you don't have to do that. This is your home. I expect you to consider it as such. So if you want the girls over, then invite them. If you want to have a housewarming party or something, then we'll do it. Okay?"

I smiled and nodded before leaning down to kiss him. We kissed a while until exhaustion overtook us. We shed our clothes in order to sleep in our underwear then slid under the sheets. We fell quickly into a deep sleep.

Sunday we slept in, spending the remainder of the day finding new homes for some of his bedroom keepsakes in other places of the house, while moving a few more of my things into our bedroom to help make it mine too. He helped me finish unpacking my clothes, becoming particularly pleased when he came across a box full of lingerie that Rose had purchased for me throughout her relationship with Emmett. Edward made me promise to try on each one for him later before pulling me to bed and distracting us from our job for a while.

After fooling around a bit, we rested for a while before I had to get back up and get ready for work. Today marked the beginning of another week of night shifts. Unfortunately, this time Edward would be working during the day while I was off, meaning we wouldn't be seeing much of one another for the next week. It made leaving him to start my shift that first night very hard.

Monday I didn't get to go to sleep right away after getting off of work because Tanya arrived. I ended up helping her jump through the hoops to apply for the ER records job. I took her to Rose's apartment to check things out before taking her back to the train station to ride back to Minnesota.

After she was off again, I stumbled back to the apartment, passing out on top of the comforter, still wearing my scrubs. I didn't wake up until I felt Edward climb in behind me, cuddling close, after which I fell asleep again immediately. The alarm going off a few hours later was a highly unwelcome sound, but I managed to haul myself out of bed and into the shower to find Edward had a warm supper ready for me when I got out.

We cuddled and ate on the couch before he escorted me to work for the second night of my weeklong torture.

Word came down through the grapevine on Thursday that Tanya did in fact get the job. I asked Edward if he would be willing to bankroll a moving company to pack Tanya up and move her into her new place that Rose, Emmett and the boys managed to empty on their day off on Wednesday. Edward happily agreed. He was pleased that I asked him to do me a favor that had to do with money, even if the favor wasn't for me personally. I just rolled my eyes, feeling a bit annoyed with my less than ideal current schedule.

By the time Saturday morning rolled around, I stumbled out of the hospital into Edward's waiting arms. All I really wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep for the next two days, but unfortunately, that would not be possible today. I had time to get in an hour long nap before I would need to be in the shower and getting dressed for Emmett and Rosalie's wedding.

Edward anticipated my needs, handing me a bagel to eat as he led me to the Volvo that he unearthed just to drive me around today, knowing I would be too tired to walk home.

I inhaled the bagel. I remembered watching the city move past the window in one moment and then in the next I awoke in our bed to the sound of Edward's sweet voice in my ear. The smell of delicious, much needed coffee wafted under my nose. I moaned and whined before finally sitting up, taking the coffee from Edward, gulping it down greedily, ignoring the extreme heat.

"Talk about bad timing…having a week of graveyards before the wedding means I'm going to look like a freaking zombie in their wedding pictures!"

Edward chuckled, stroking my wild frizzy hair back from my face. "You look beautiful, my love, even when you are exhausted. Go grab your shower, sweetheart. I'll fix you a snack. We need to leave in an hour."

I sighed, rolling out of bed in a daze. I showered, dried my hair, curling it meticulously before pinning up the sides. I carefully applied my makeup, taking an extra long time smoothing concealer over my violet ringed eyes.

I slid into the purple wrap dress that was very similar to the dress I wore at the beach house except, this was more fall like with ¾ length sleeves. I slid on a pair of hose and the matching shoes the girls made me buy, before stepping into the hallway. I clicked my way loudly toward the kitchen, where I could hear Edward banging some pots and pans.

When I walked in, he turned to look at me with a bright smile.

"See…gorgeous."

I smiled, offering a weak thanks. I hopped up on the barstool at the counter, picking up the sandwich waiting for me along with chips and drink. Edward sat next to me and talked to me while I ate.

When I was done and had my purse in hand, Edward offered me his arm, leading me down the hall to the elevator with a smile.

We met the rest of the group in front of City Hall, where Rosalie was nervously fidgeting with everyone's clothes, griping about the fact that Emmett wore the wrong socks. It would have been humorous if I hadn't been so tired. Thankfully, she left me alone. If she started criticizing me, I probably would have flipped out on her, not the best thing to do to a bride on her big day.

We all walked in together. Rose and Em disappeared into an office to take care of the business end of the arrangements, while the rest of us waited in the hallway.

"Wow, and I thought Alice was bad," Edward whispered in my ear.

I leaned over to him, "Yeah, well, I think the pregnancy hormones may be ramping up her crazy factor!"

We snickered together as the two emerged from the office again, looking wide-eyed and anxious. The girls pulled Rose away to the restroom for one last hair and make up check. We were also trying to help calm her nerves while the guys congregated around Emmett. I was almost sure I saw Jasper slip him a silver flask. They better not get him drunk was all I could say!

We disappeared behind the doors to the ladies room. The flurry began as Rose fluttered nervously in front of the mirror, pacing back and forth in front of the stalls, jabbering nonstop about socks and flasks. Apparently, she was aware that the boys were bolstering him with liquid courage. She was pissed off that she couldn't share.

Fifteen minutes later, we had her calmed. She appraised us critically before allowing us to emerge from the bathroom, exiting right behind us.

Five minutes later, their names were called. We walked into the judges chambers where they had the super short ceremony that legally bound them and then it was over. All the fuss and stress for ten minutes and then it was done.

Everyone hugged. While I was happy for them, I couldn't be as gleeful as I should have been due to my utter exhaustion. I had been roped into an extra long shift the day before, thanks to an incoming multi car pileup. I hadn't gotten much sleep before having to go back in for the last graveyard of the week. To say I was tired would be a gross understatement.

After we left City Hall, we made our way across town to dine at a fancy little restaurant I had never eaten at before. The food was good, but I could barely appreciate it as I struggled to stay awake at the table. As soon as dessert was served, Edward explained why I was so out of it and said he better get me home. We gave hugs all around and Edward wrapped his arm around me, helping to support my weight out to the car. He helped me get settled then slid behind the wheel to drive us home.

Once again, I woke up in our room on Sunday morning not knowing how I got there. I could feel Edward's comforting warmth snuggled to my back, his arm around my waist. I rested my arm on his, lacing our fingers as I felt him tighten his grip on my waist.

A few hours and a few rounds of make up for lost time lovin' later, we finally rolled out of bed. We shuffled into the living room in our pajamas and robes. I settled onto the couch with the paper while Edward brewed us up a fresh pot of coffee and grabbed some muffins out of the pantry.

I read through the first two pages before I froze, jumping up and running into the kitchen. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what, babe?" Edward replied, looking confused.

"That they caught Trager!" I yelled holding the paper up for him to see.

He grabbed it from my hand, reading over it quickly. "Wow, I didn't know. I'm surprised they didn't tell us. I guess they didn't want to disturb the wedding."

I grabbed the collar of his robe in my hands. "Don't you know what this means, Edward? We're free! No more playing spy versus spy, no more armed escorts everywhere I go, no more being paranoid that I'm being followed with every step I take! We're free!"

He laughed, scooping me up in his arms, and sitting me on the counter in front of him. He stepped between my legs, putting a hand on either side of the counter. He tipped up, kissing me before pulling back with his hands on my thighs.

"I still want you to be careful, though. We really don't know for sure that there weren't others involved in this. It's Emmett's theory that he was acting alone, but we don't know that for sure..."

I pouted and Edward smiled, reaching up to tap my lip. He tipped my head back up to look him in the eyes. "but we can definitely relax some now that he's in custody."

I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck.

He laughed again before stepping away to grab two mugs of coffee, handing me one while he sipped the other. He sat a plate of muffins beside me on the counter that we both nibbled on while we talked.

"Well, personally, I think this calls for a celebration! Let's get the hell out of here! Let's go to Lincoln Park again or something. I want to be out in the open, breathing fresh air, and feeling the sun and wind on my face!"

He laughed, stepping forward again to lace his arms around my waist.

"Your wish is my command."

We spent the rest of the day at Lincoln Park. We hit the zoo first, wandering through the exhibits and checking out the newest additions to the park. After that, we went to the conservatory to look around again before taking a long walk along the beach, staying out until the sun had nearly disappeared from the sky.

We grabbed supper out before coming home to find a message waiting on the home phone line. We both looked at one another in confusion, checking our cells to see if we missed a call. Messages were rarely ever left on the land line since most everyone would try our cell phones next and leave messages there instead.

Edward hit the button that played our horribly cheesy, yet hopelessly sweet joint message before the message left behind.

(Bella speaking is between asterisks )

"Hi you've reached Edward *and Bella. We can't answer the phone right now* it is very possible what you think is going on right now is correct, but then again we might just be gone (Edward chuckles and you hear the audible smack of me hitting his arm before I giggle too) *Please leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.*"

The beep sounded, followed by Elizabeth's amused voice.

"That was quite funny, you two. So I take it you took the plunge and moved in already. I think that's wonderful. I just wanted you to know that when Tanya moves to Chicago next week, I will be coming with her to help, and hopefully spend some time with you. I also have plans to connect with Esme. I was actually hoping we might make a group event out of it. Esme invited me over next Thursday at six. I hope you can come. Please give me a call if you think you might have some free time next week to spend together on our own while I'm there. I love you, Edward. I look forward to seeing you again soon too, Bella. Bye."

I looked at Edward who stood as still as a statue, staring at the machine. His face flashed with conflicting emotions. Since the big confrontation, he and Elizabeth had spoken twice. While very friendly, the relationship was still a bit strained. Some of the ease of the first night faded once all of the facts fully integrated into Edward's mind. He now had less resentment over why she left, but now new ones had emerged. One of the biggest was the fact that he felt that if she really wanted to be a part of his life, she would have tried much harder to contact him. Instead, she tried one less than stellar attempt and gave up, that didn't sit too well with him.

I reached over, rubbing his back in large comforting circles. His hands fisted and released a couple of times before he reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He pulled it out, dialing a number. Looking over at me appreciatively, he took my hand before leading me to the couch. He pulled me down next to him when he began to speak.

It didn't take long to ascertain he was talking to Esme. As he talked, I rubbed soothing circles on his back while his hand did the same on the back of my hand. When he hung up, he turned to me slowly.

"So, please tell me you'll be free Thursday night. I really could use you there."

I smiled and nodded. "I'll trade if I have to, but I think I should be okay. Extra shift time should be done tomorrow."

He sighed loudly in relief before wrapping his arm around me, pulling me into his side, kissing my hair.

"This may be intense. I don't know. Aunt Esme is still really upset. I have a feeling she's not going to take this all as well as I did, which is ironic in a way. I think she was relieved that we were invited. I have a feeling she's going to need all of the moral support she can get."

I nodded with a yawn.

He smiled down at me. "Sleepy again, my love?"

I nodded again, lacking the energy to even use my voice.

He chuckled as he stood up, grabbing me by the waist and throwing me over his shoulder. Normally, I would put up a bit of a fight even if I was enjoying it, but tonight I was not even willing to expend energy for that. That was until he smacked my butt, at which point I jumped and yelled.

He laughed. "Just making sure you're still alive back there. You usually throw a fit when I do this."

I sighed, reaching down to smack him on the right cheek. He jumped and yelped before laughing again. He set me down on the bed, helping me strip out of my clothes and shoes, before tucking me under the covers and disappearing into the bathroom.

The next week flew by. On Tuesday, the movers arrived in Chicago ahead of schedule. Tanya and Elizabeth were still three hours away, so Rose went over to let them in. She did her best to tell them where to put the furniture and boxes based on how they were labeled. Once they were done, she locked up and went back to work on unpacking her and Emmett's things at their apartment.

When I got off work, Edward was there to pick me up. We both ran back to our place to change before going over to help Tanya unpack.

Elizabeth excitedly hugged us when we arrived. We returned the hugs as best we could. Poor Edward just felt so conflicted when it came to her. We worked for several hours before excusing ourselves to get back to our place for a good night's rest.

Wednesday evening, Elizabeth asked once we arrived if we would mind if she and Edward went out for supper alone to talk while I stayed back to help Tanya.

Edward glanced at me anxiously. I caressed his hair supportively as I agreed; he followed Elizabeth anxiously out the door.

I looked around to find that Elizabeth and Tanya had been hard at work getting the place set up. They were down to a scant few boxes that needed unpacking. Tanya was busy working in her closet to get her clothes hung and put away, so I went to work in the bathroom.

I was on my third box full of things for the medicine cabinet. I was sleepily pulling out boxes of cold medicine, pain relievers, and throat spray, when I pulled out a tall store brand bottle and froze when I read the label. My mind began to wander frantically for a few moments, my emotions going wild when I finally settled on one definitive emotion at the end of the ride…anger.

I grabbed the bottle in my hand, stepping out of the bathroom. I stalked into her bedroom at the end of the small hall.

"Tanya," she glanced up at me sweetly before seeing the bottle in my hand and blanching with wide eyes. "Does this mean what I think it means?" I questioned shaking the bottle of prenatal vitamins at her.

She stood up and crossed the room. She looked worried and upset, but most of all, apologetic.

"Yes, Bella, I'm pregnant."

"How far along?"

She stood silently fiddling with her shirt hem.

"How far along are you, Tanya?"

"Not quite four months," she barely whispered.

I felt my anger grow stronger.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

At first, she looked scared, then defeated as she slumped on the bed.

"I was scared. I was afraid you'd hate me if I admitted it after the whole Edward thing. I really liked you, and then you did all of these wonderful things to help me out. I just didn't have the heart to tell you."

"So, I'm assuming that whole misunderstanding to begin with wasn't quite as much of a misunderstanding as we originally thought. You were desperately trying to find a daddy for junior and were going to what? Trick Edward into thinking it was his?"

Her eyes grew wide as her head shot up.

"NO! No, no, no, I wouldn't do that! I was just hoping that he would still care about me. I had delusions that maybe he would fall in love with me and help me raise the baby. I would never trick him into believing it was his when it wasn't. I promise you." She began shivering on her bed. Her breath hitched a few times as though she were about to cry.

I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, having picked up the habit from Edward. My other hand still held the vitamins in a tight grip, resting on my hip. I sighed deeply as I heard her hitching breaths give way to actual sobs as she began to apologize over and over in a squeaky voice.

"Okay, okay...calm down. I believe you. I'm still pissed as hell, but I believe you. Who is the real father anyway?"

She took a couple of deep breaths to calm her sobs before she finally sighed and closed her eyes, shaking her head in self-disgust.

"Larry…the baby is Larry's. He came back and gave me this sob story about how he really did love me, missed me, and wanted me back. Stupid me, I let him back in. Nothing changed though. He was same old Larry. When I found out I was pregnant, he just laughed at me, suggesting I get an abortion and disappeared again."

She started to cry and I couldn't help but sit down next to her and place a comforting arm on her shoulder.

"I…I didn't know what to do. I was barely making it on my own, much less trying to take care of a baby, but I couldn't kill it either! I just couldn't! So here I am, alone, with a baby I can't care for, mooching off friends who deserve better, and with not a single clue how to make it better."

I sighed, holding her shoulders as she sobbed for the next hour. She went on to tell me more about how abusive Larry had been and how he had broken her down so badly that she didn't believe in herself anymore. He had completely obliterated her self-esteem to the point where she didn't even try to leave, thinking that she was pathetic and useless. His leaving her pushed her to stand on her own two feet again. She was disgusted at how weak she had been to take him back to begin with.

We didn't even hear when Edward and Elizabeth returned; unaware of their presence until Edward's voice filled the air with worry when he asked what was wrong. Edward and Elizabeth settled on the bed around us. Tanya explained the whole situation in tears. An hour later, Edward and I left for home as she settled into Elizabeth's comforting arms.

We drove home in a bit of shock until I finally broke the silence.

"How did things go with Elizabeth?"

He sighed. "Not too bad. Let's just say it was good that I was the one to go out. I can't imagine how things would have gone if I'd been the one to discover those pills and put everything together."

I took a deep breath, reaching up to massage my throbbing temples with my fingers, trying to alleviate the raging headache that had developed over the past couple of hours.

"I was so pissed at first, thinking that the whole mess with you was really about trying to rope you into helping her raise that baby. Once I heard the rest of the story, I can't help but feel bad for her, though. Yeah, what she did was wrong, but if it were me would I really do any differently?"

"Of course you would," Edward immediately piped up.

I shook my head. "The Bella standing before you now, having the life that I have would, but if I'd been the one married to man who beat me down for years and brainwashed me to believe I was worthless and incapable…I'm not so sure I wouldn't. Desperate people do desperate things. Until you've walked a mile in that person's shoes, you have no idea what you would be capable of."

He sighed, taking my hand, kissing the back gently.

"I guess you're right. You are too damn smart, you know that!"

I chuckled, resting my head against the seat, watching the streetlights streak by was we drove home. Edward had gotten in the habit of driving his car a lot more often these days, just one more anal retentive tendency that he seemed to be slowly releasing.

Work on Thursday was hectic. Dr. K began us on a new rotation in pediatrics. I loved working with kids, but some of these poor babies were in so much pain that it was hard to diagnose them through the wails and panic. I was completely drained and totally relieved to see Edward leaning against the door of the Volvo.

He drove me home where we showered and dressed for the evening. As a sneaky form of distraction for Edward, I chose to wear the ice blue wrap dress from that night at the beach house with a more sensible pair of kitten heels.

He smiled his crooked smile, shaking his head when he walked into our bedroom. I was standing in front of the dresser, trying to put a necklace around my neck. He stepped behind me to help. I pulled my hair out of the way as he latched the clasp before wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me close, and kissing my neck.

"Hmmm…nice distraction technique, Swan. I just hope it doesn't backfire. The way you look and the memories I have of you and this dress, I might just end up dragging you up to my old bedroom to fulfill a few teenage fantasies."

I chuckled with a moan as his hands began to roam. His mouth became more insistent on my neck. It only took a few seconds for both of us to get a bit too wound up. He finally released me with a groan of annoyance, before taking my hand, leading me to the foyer.

He reached for my coat, holding it for me to slide on. He was going into full gentleman mode for the benefit of Esme and Elizabeth, and thus began my night full of open doors, coat assistance, held chairs, and fetched drinks. If it were not for the stressful situation, I would probably have laughed and teased him, but instead I graciously accepted every gesture. I continually kept a supportive hand on his forearm, back, thigh, shoulder, hand, and so on. I made the decision up front that I would keep my calming presence near him all night long, no matter what.

Esme, always the gracious hostess, sat rigidly with us in the parlor with a tray of hors d'ourves on the table between us, offering each of us drinks of which we all partook gratefully. The quiet was deafening. The tension between the sisters was so thick, I felt at times as though I couldn't even breathe.

Carlisle broke the tension by addressing me with a work question.

"So, Bella, I heard that today you started your rounds in pediatrics. I know we had discussed making that your focus, how did you feel about your first day?"

I answered honestly that it was far more difficult than I had imagined, explaining some of the difficulties I had faced. Yet still knowing that, I felt drawn to that area in spite of the hurdles I had encountered. We discussed pediatrics a bit longer before the discussion died out and we were once again left in silence.

A few seconds later, a timer went off in the kitchen. Esme announced that the roast should be done, asking us all to move to the dining room while she sliced it and brought it to the table. I offered to help, but she dismissed me with a sad smile, disappearing into the kitchen.

The four of us who remained quietly transferred to the dining room. Edward squeezed my hand tightly as we walked as I squeezed back reassuringly. When we reached the table, he held my chair for me and I sat down, casting him a grateful smile. He settled down next to me.

"Oh, Edward, I am so pleased to see what wonderful manners you have. You really are quite the gentleman. I'm glad you remembered some of what your father and I taught you."

In that instant, we heard the sound of breaking porcelain from the doorway where a livid looking Esme stood. The pot roast and shattered antique china serving tray was scattered at her feet.

"What you taught him? What YOU taught him?You were always such a selfish person, Elizabeth, but to believe that much of anything you taught him remains in that boy, is beyond conceited."

"Esme, I wasn't saying…"

Esme interrupted her. I felt Edward tense next to me.

"Stop, Elizabeth…just Stop! This conversation has been a long time coming! Edward told me everything you told him to explain away your actions so long ago. Honestly, I'm surprised he swallowed it so willingly. I, however, have known you all of my life. I know you are so full of shit that it isn't even funny!"

If I hadn't been so busy trying to calm my vibrating boyfriend, I would have been shocked that Esme said 'shit,' but I had bigger fish to fry.

The sisters started in as over forty years of grievances were aired over the dinner table of quickly cooling food. Carlisle, Edward, and I watched the train wreck, wincing occasionally, throwing one another and Esme comforting glances and gestures.

Esme was the epitome of a mama bear. She called Elizabeth out for her choices one at a time, providing one example after another of how she had always been a selfish creature, and that in a twisted way, she's grateful that Elizabeth's selfishness led to Edward being raised by she and Carlisle because who knows how he would have turned out if Elizabeth were more involved.

Elizabeth defended herself weakly. Esme brilliantly tore her flimsy excuses to shreds, hitting every one of Edward's biggest resentments one after another. I watched on in awe as Esme did what I only wished I could. It would change nothing, but it still felt somewhat vindicating to see Elizabeth really having to answer for her actions.

"I tried to contact him, Esme. I sent…"

Esme cut her off once more with such venom that I personally was even a little frightened.

"Bullshit, Elizabeth! You didn't try that hard or you would have found him. You could have at least tried sending something here on the chance we would give it to him, but no. You could have tried again later for a new address, he owns the damn building he's currently living in, his address is a matter of public record, but no…you sent a couple of flimsy sad notes to a temporary campus address and gave up. If you really wanted to find him you could quite easily have done so. No, Elizabeth, you didn't really want to find him because then you would be forced to own up to your decisions and answer for them."

She sat down in her seat at the other end of the table, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a slow sad sigh.

"You broke him, Elizabeth. You had the most precious gift any woman can ever be given, a wonderful, kind hearted, sweet, caring son, and you just threw him away because you were too selfish to get over yourself and do what you should do. You left that little boy fractured in a million tiny pieces, he was never the same again. I did my best to be the mother he deserved, to help piece together his tiny shatter psyche, but there was only so much I could do. It took seventeen years and this beautiful girl," she looked up at me with love in her eyes, reaching her hand out to squeeze mine on top of the table, "to finally break through his barriers to reach him and help finish piecing him together again. And now…now that he's finally opened his heart again, begun to really live life again, begun to believe in other people, and trust them…NOW you pop up and try to take credit for things that you completely destroyed in him."

I could feel his tears before I saw them. I glanced over to see his watery eyes watching Esme with such softness and love. There was no doubt in my mind or his, Elizabeth gave birth to him and will always be his mother, but Esme had been and will forever be his Mom.

"Elizabeth, I hope you truly are happy now. I hope that you really do understand how much you missed out on with your son…our son. It's between you and Edward what the two of you do or do not share together as far as a relationship. Perhaps some day you and I will learn to reconnect again, but I'm afraid it will not happen tonight. I hate to be rude, but my nerves will not allow me to share your company any more this evening. Would you please be so kind as to leave of your own accord?"

With that, Esme got up and walked out the door, disappearing up the stairs with the light patter of her feet. Carlisle expressed his apologies for the way the night unfolded, excusing himself to check on his wife. Elizabeth stood slowly and sighed.

"I knew it would be difficult. She has many reasons to feel those things about me," she said staring at the table before shifting her face up to Edward. "I do hope that some day both of you will give me the opportunity to make some type of amends." She swallowed hard. "I will be taking my leave now. My train leaves early in the morning, so I probably won't see you again before then."

She slowly walked toward our side of the table. Edward and I stood as she approached. She placed a hand on his arm.

"I love you, my Edward. Please take care of yourself."

She shifted her gaze to me. "Bella, please take care of my boy. You're probably the only one who really can."

We nodded to one another. Edward and I watched in shock as she walked away from us to the front door, disappearing into the night.

I reached up to rub large circles in the center of Edward's back as Elizabeth left. Once the door latched, Edward turned to me with sad, tired eyes. I reached up to caress his cheek.

He leaned into my hand before reaching his arms around my waist, pulling me into a tight needful hug.

I ran my right hand into his hair, stroking gently while the other massaged the muscles in his shoulder.

I could feel the moisture of his tears soaking through my dress. He trembled in my arms as I whispered in his ear until he finally began to relax and calm down, loosening his uncomfortably tight hold on my waist.

After the longest time, he finally pulled away. He looked down at me, brushing his fingers across my cheek before leaning down to rest his forehead on mine.

"I'm so glad you could come. I don't think I would have made it through tonight without you. I love you."

I sighed, "I love you, too. There's nowhere else I would want to be."

We heard a tiny gasp from the far side of the room. We turned to see Esme and Carlisle standing there, watching us with soft looks on their faces. Edward let me go, crossing the room to pull Esme into a tight hug. He whispered in her ear something that made her face glow and her eyes swim with tears. She pulled him into a tighter hug, then pulled away to caress his cheek.

"I love you too, son of my heart."

We stayed to help clean up the mess. Before we left, Esme and I were working in the kitchen while the boys mopped the floor, using the shampooer on the large area rug that the dining table sat on. Esme walked up to face me, placing her hands on either side of my face.

"Thank you for brining my son back to me. I've always thought of you like a relative, but know that I love you so much more than I could ever say. For the rest of my days, I will consider you as much my daughter as I consider him my son."

I felt my eyes sting with the formation of tears, "Thank you, Esme. I love you like another Mom, and I love your son more than you could ever know."

She smiled, wiping away a fallen tear from my cheek as she patted it gently.

"I know dear. I know."

She released me, turning back to the sink. I wiped at the tear escaping the other eye, fanning my face to chase away the tears, Edward didn't need to see them on this already emotional day.

On our drive home from Esme and Carlisle's, I asked Edward what he said to Esme.

He smiled brightly at me. "I just said, 'I love you, Mom. You may not have given birth to me, but you are the best Mom anyone could ever have.'"

I gripped his hand tighter, smiling as we made our way back home together, the last missing pieces of our puzzles firmly in place.


	28. Underneath It All

**Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters or songs mentioned in this chapter. I have added the No Doubt songs mentioned in this chapter onto the Rock Band playlist, which I also do not own the rights to.**

http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=4WAapKx2TvM&feature=PlayList&p=B22A1DC2CA0E1519&index=0&playnext=1

_**This chapter is a shorter one, but it leads us right up to the big bad prologue event. I hope you enjoy and please take some time to send me a little feedback. You guys are the best!**_

_**Thanks as always to my betas SassenachWench and Sihaya9!**_

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**Underneath It All**

**EPOV**

After the disastrous dinner with Elizabeth, life seemed to continue in a hazy flow of work and sleep with some socialization in between. Before we knew it, it was the week of Thanksgiving.

Rock Band night was set for the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. Even though most of the college kids were gone home for the holiday, the bar was still packed to the gills. This wasn't terribly unusual for the night before Thanksgiving though, so this was another ploy to get the Rock Band night idea out to everyone.

It was a good night. The girls dominated with a three-song play list of No Doubt hits. Bella looked a little funny in an outfit very similar to what Gwen Stefani wore in the _Spiderwebs_ video, except her too short super sexy tank top bore the name 'Bella' and her voice was a bit different, but she still completely rocked the set.

They opened with _Underneath It All,_ which immediately left me with tight jean issues as she crooned at me from stage, caressing the microphone with familiar skill. They took a break afterward for Bella to thank everyone for coming and explain the idea behind Rock Band nights and the battle of the rock bands coming up early next year. The girls had put their heads together and decided that it would be best to hold off until the college crowd was back from winter break before having the big event.

Once her speech was finished, she turned to the girls with a nod. Alice chose the next song that started off with a fast beat. My eyes were bulging out of their sockets as I struggled with my comfort issues under the table while Bella panted into the microphone during _Hella Good._

About halfway through the song, I heard Andrea lean over to Emmett and ask a very sensitive question that made me tense immediately.

"Emmett, she's amazing! Why didn't she ever look into going professional?"

Emmett bristled, with a sigh. He took a few big gulps of his beer before slamming it back down on the table.

"She has always been amazing. She was actually on track for it all. She had been short listed for an audition with Julliard in the spring the year our parents died. After our parents' accident, she refused to sing in public again. If this wasn't for Mama D, she wouldn't even be doing it now. The best we could manage before was playing Rock Band in our apartment."

I felt myself sighing as I watched my Bella dominate the stage with passion. I heard Andrea continue.

"But why? Was she just that sad after they passed, or what?"

Emmett sighed hard with a shake of his head. "Well...yes, but it's more than that, she blames herself for their death. They had come up to Chicago to visit me and go out for their anniversary while she stayed home with friends for final dress rehearsals for the winter musical at school. They were doing My Fair Lady and Bella was playing Eliza Doolittle. The ice storm that came in was unexpected. Our parents decided they would be okay, not wanting to miss her opening night. They went to every opening night that Bella had, always overjoyed to support their quite shy daughter to spread her wings. Singing on stage was always the one place Bella wasn't shy and didn't cower at being the center of attention. They had driven all the way home through the worst of the bad weather. Lincoln wasn't nearly as bad as the Chicago area had been. They were less than two miles from home when Dad ended up losing control of the car, rolling it into the ditch. The coroner believed they died instantly, but they weren't found for four more hours, so nobody knows for sure. Bella found out when she woke up that morning. Her best friend's mother had to give her the bad news and she totally lost it. I caught the first train I could home. Her understudy took over her role in the play, she refused to go to the Julliard audition, and she has absolutely refused sing in public ever since until now."

I watched Bella on stage, thinking of how much we had in common. We had both lost parents and both suffered from the loss, but we were slowly putting ourselves and one another back together. I was so proud of Bella. She was always so brave and strong. She often called us her resident heroes, but if anyone were to ask any one of us guys you would get the same answer, she was far more a hero than we would ever be.

The song ended and the crowd went wild. They rounded out their set with _Spiderwebs_ to a thunderous applause. Tonight we opted out of singing since there were already a ton of sign ups that would last the rest of the night. None of us guys felt like singing after recounting the past to Andrea. Instead, we all praised our girls and showered them with affection, being sure to dance with them and hold them close. Upon measuring up the competition, we were pleasantly surprised to find that there were quite a few decent groups. With any luck, the battle of the bands would be a huge hit!

As more bands played, we got up a few more times to dance to the better than average performances. We all got progressively more loosened up between strong booze and good tunes. It wasn't long before the conversation rolled back around to Bella's singing.

"So Bella," Dan, one of the new guys to the group, called across the table over the noise, "aren't you a little young to be so into No Doubt? You were what ten when they came out?"

Bella smiled, taking a big drink of her rum and coke. "Mom was really young when she had Emmett and was pretty much a big ole teenager. She loved music and No Doubt was one of her favorites. I could sing every lyric on the Tragic Kingdom album within a month of its release."

He nodded approvingly and moved on. Bella tried to act like it was no big deal, but I could immediately sense the shift in her posture. Singing tonight in front of a crowd, singing songs from her mother's favorite band, living in the city they had been driving home from the night of their fatal accident, it was all piling up on her.

I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed. She looked up at me.

I smiled, leaning in close, "Are you ready to leave yet?"

She sighed and nodded.

I stood up, tugging her with me. We bid goodnight to everyone, promising to see Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Andy, Andrea, and Tanya the next day at my Aunt and Uncle's for our traditional holiday meal together, wishing a good holiday for the rest who would not bet here with us. After helping Bella into her warm winter coat, I put my arm around her, leading her down the street toward our apartment.

Bella was unusually quiet the whole way. I debated on whether I should try to get her to talk about it or give her time to sort everything out on her own. Once we were back at the apartment, I helped her out of the coat. I slid down onto the couch next to her, taking her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it, baby? Or would you rather I just give you your space?"

She tightened her grip on my hand, glancing up at me with conflicted eyes, moist with the tears that were threatening to form.

Finally, she sighed and whispered, "Can you just hold me?"

I nodded, wrapping my arms around her. She tucked her feet up next to her on the couch, melting into my side, and resting her head on my chest.

We just sat in the quiet of the apartment, holding one another and eventually falling asleep that way. I woke sometime in the middle of the night with a crick in my neck, my arm in a funny position. I realized Bella's neck was also at an odd angle on my chest. I repositioned her, sliding my arms under to carry her to our bed. I tucked her in tightly, setting the alarm clock before sliding in behind to wrap myself around her once more.

**BPOV**

For the bazillionth time in the last two weeks, I woke up in bed after having fallen asleep elsewhere. You gotta love having a strong boyfriend who can carry you to bed without having to wake you up.

I stretched a bit, trying to loosen the kink in my neck, when I felt his arm tighten around my waist with a moan. I froze. He stopped after a second and relaxed again. I melted back into my pillow with a sigh and thought about the night before.

On Halloween, when we did our first Rock Band night, I had a few nerves, but it wasn't all that bad. I only sang the last song of the set. It was one that I actually associated more with Emmett since he was the one who turned me on to Evanescence in the first place, so it was tolerable, although I had still felt slightly guilty.

I knew it was irrational, but I could never bring myself to sing in public again after my parents' death. My love of music and need to be appreciated for the skill had led to them driving in dangerous weather and being killed. Rationally I knew it wasn't the case, but on a reflexive, instinctual level, I just couldn't shake the idea.

From that point on, I suffered with a terrible form of stage fright. Just the idea of singing in front of people caused gastric reflux issues, but this was for something greater...this was for Mama D. All I had to do was get through the hype and the battle of the bands and we would be fine.

I thought it would be fine anyway, but picking No Doubt songs was a stupid, stupid move. I fought the urge to get sick, forcing myself to interact with the crowd, keep the performance going, but the entire time I just felt heavy and empty inside.

Part of making _Spiderwebs_ my voicemail alert was because it was funny and fit. Another part was just a reminder of my mom...my funny, crazy, teen-like mom with funky clothes and hair and a love for all things young and hip. We had spent so many days bonding over music and posters of boy bands, taking dibs on the ones we thought were the cutest. My mom was my best friend and I missed her so damn much.

It was hard enough performing the songs. Having to explain my love of the music to someone who was practically a stranger didn't help things. Thankfully, Edward sensed my ill ease and got me out of there. He brought me home, offering to listen to me talk, but all I really wanted was for him to just hold me. Edward would never be able to replace the parent shaped hole in my soul, but being close to him and feeling his love for me did help warm the chill in my depths. Eventually I fell asleep, wrapped in his love and affection.

I lay there a while longer, reminiscing about my mother and how much I missed her. We were coming up on the anniversary of their death again in February. I hoped that the weather would cooperate this year and allow us to make our annual pilgrimage back to Lincoln to visit their graves.

We started the tradition the first year after they died, just Emmett, Edward, and me...the rest of the boys couldn't get away. My mind drifted back to the biting cold of the February morning when we laid our parents to rest under the blue tent at the graveyard. The ground was covered with snow that crunched under our feet as we walked. The whole day was a haze in my memory with the exception of the cold, the snow, the boys being around me, and watching as they slowly lowered my parent's caskets into the ground.

I realized in surprise that my body was literally shivering when the alarm clock blaring on Edward's side of the bed yanked me out of my memories like an auditory slap across the face. Edward jumped, slapping the table to silence the annoying chirp before turning back to me, pulling me to his chest tightly.

A split second later, he was up leaning over me with a concerned toned. "Bella? Bella? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

It was then that I sniffled, realizing I wasn't just trembling from the memory, but I was crying as well.

He grabbed my shoulder, rolling me toward him, pulling me to his chest, and enveloping me in his arms. I melted close to him, drenching his shirt with my salty tears.

"S...s...sorry Edward," I mumbled into his shirt. "I was just remembering the f..f..funeral." A fresh sob rippled from my chest. He hugged me tighter, stroking my hair with his left hand.

"Ssshhh, it's okay love, I'm here. It's okay to miss them."

He held me for a long time, shifting to sit against the headboard, pulling me up to curl into his arms. I cried into his shirt, soaking it thoroughly many times over until there were no more tears left.

When my tears had run their course, we sat and talked about the date that loomed three months ahead of me with the same fierce sense of dread mixed with morbid anticipation that I had faced every year since their death. We made some unofficial plans for the trip, including a possible side trek along the way. After we talked everything to death, we finally shifted out of bed to get dressed for Thanksgiving dinner, knowing that thanks to my little dramatic display, we would now be a good half hour late.

We arrived at Esme and Carlisle's to find that everyone was there, anxiously awaiting our arrival. I apologized, taking the blame. I sighed when I saw Rose and Emmett exchange worried looks. They knew...they put two and two together and came up with another Bella meltdown.

We had a nice fun dinner with all of the typical trimmings that Esme adored preparing and serving on her delicate antique china. I always cringed every time I was asked to pass a dish, fearing dropping the fancy china.

When the meal was over, the boys helped clear the table before disappearing into the cave, as we eventually came to call it. The girls all helped Esme put away leftovers and hand wash the delicate china, placing it carefully back in the intricately carved hutch.

In the early years, the boys would try to disappear on us, but Esme would pull them all back with a yank of the ears, forcing them to help her and I clean up after the mess. Since there were so many of us girls to work together this year, she let them off easy. It was just as well, we got to chat and enjoy our girly conversations as we worked, occasionally interrupted by roaring cheers from the guys in the basement, which we assumed meant their team was winning.

After we were done cleaning up, Esme suggested we settle into the parlor with some coffee. We sat around the fire in the den, discussing hospital gossip, new fashion, and of course griping about our boys. I sat back with a smile, listening while the rest of the girls rattled on. I enjoyed listening to them getting all animated about whatever they were talking about. I was also relieved to be free to get lost in my own thoughts from time to time too. My memories of the morning were still haunting me just a bit.

I was in the middle of an old family Thanksgiving memory when I was pulled from the thought by the sound of someone asking a question. I focused on the group in front of me as they all looked expectantly my way.

"Well, Bella? We're waiting?" Rose said with a sly grin.

"I'm sorry, I was spacing...what were you asking me?"

"We were just waiting for you to chime in on the conversation. Surely, you have something to gripe about too. Masen almost certainly has at least one quirk that's driving you crazy by now!"

I furrowed my brow and thought hard before shrugging. "Honestly I can't think of anything at the moment. I mean we've only lived together full time for a couple of weeks and most of that time I wasn't even home, between doing make up hours for my week off and working graveyard. So when I have been around him, he's been sweet and attentive and affectionate. Ask me again in six months, I'm pretty sure by then I'll probably have a thing or two to add."

Rose rolled her eyes and the rest of the girls chuckled as they returned back to their conversation. Eventually, the boys came up and joined us. We all sat in couples, with the exception of Tanya, who I motioned to sit by me with a smile, and talked.

The day turned into night. Eventually everyone began saying goodbye, making their way back home. Edward and I were the last to leave, hugging Esme and Carlisle goodbye.

"So, Bella, you've got twilight shift tomorrow on the ER rotation right?"

I groaned and nodded.

Carlisle smiled sympathetically. "Well, one thing about it, the day won't drag by for you. The day after Thanksgiving always is a busy one, which is why all the interns got stuck with twilight ER duty tomorrow."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, you're not the first to warn me of that. They said it's only slightly better than full moon Saturday nights and New Year's Eve."

Carlisle chuckled, patting my back lightly. "That's very true, but you're one of the best I've seen in this year's class, so I'm sure you will be fine. Get a good night's sleep though...you are definitely going to need it!"

He chuckled as I groaned again.

Edward held my coat for me to slide on. When we got home, we showered, got ready for bed, and cuddled up together. I rolled away from him to check my alarm one last time. Four a.m. was an ungodly hour for a wake up call. I internally groaned one more time before sinking into my pillow with a sigh and quickly drifting off to sleep.

~o~O~o~

The sound of the alarm clock blaring in my ear from my bedside table woke me up with a start. I growled, slamming my hand on the off button repeatedly until the obnoxious noise finally stopped.

Edward groaned next to me and turned over, but thankfully didn't wake.

I slid out of bed and into the shower, hoping the heat would calm me in preparation for the long day ahead. I stepped out to dry off, quickly plaiting my hair into a French braid with the skill of many years of practice, before sliding into my scrubs and lab coat. I stepped into the bedroom, quietly clipping my ID on my lapel and throwing my stethoscope around my neck. I tiptoed to the bed to kiss Edward goodbye.

Just as I was leaving the room, I got the geeky idea to leave him a note for when he woke up. I stepped back to the dresser, grabbing a little pad I kept there for my shopping lists and wrote a quick note on the page, tossing a bit of lip-gloss on my lips and kissing the note. I left it on top of his alarm clock on his bedside table.

I gave him one more kiss before slipping stealthily out of the door. I shuffled into the kitchen where I brewed a partial pot of coffee, grabbing a bagel out of the fridge. I settled at the counter with the paper, sleepily scanning the articles as I took small bites and long savoring sips of my breakfast.

I was almost to the fold of the first page when my phone beeped and I saw the text from Alice.

**ER overloaded, one of us will probably get stuck on triage. Today is going to suck!**

I groaned, slamming my phone closed, tossing it into my pocket, and leaving the paper on the counter for Edward as I rushed to the closet to get my coat and shoes. This was going to be one very long, very sucky day!

**EPOV**

My alarm woke me up at 6am. I groaned, tossing my hand over blindly to silence the most annoying fucking piece of technology ever invented. As my hand slid over the top of the table, I realized there was a piece of paper on top of the alarm.

I grabbed it in my hand after hitting the off button. I pulled the paper to my face to see what it was. I felt the wide smile fill my face as I read the note just above the silvery pinkish colored set of lips that adorned the paper.

**My sweet Edward,**

**I hope I didn't wake you this morning. You seem to be sleeping well, which I'm glad. It's going to be a long day so I'm not sure when I'll be getting home. I'll text you as soon as I get an idea, but I'm expecting it to be at least a fourteen-hour day if not more. Don't expect me any sooner than 7. Thank you for being so sweet and taking such good care of me the last few days. I love you more than words can express. Have a good day and I'll see you tonight.**

**All my Love,**

**Bella**

I read it a couple more times before kissing the outline her lips left on the page, getting up to slip the piece of paper into my keepsake box in my drawer. Once done, I hopped in the shower before dressing and making my way into the kitchen for breakfast.

I brewed a quick half pot of coffee, noticing that Bella had cleaned up after she was done this morning and even had the coffee, filter, and water ready and waiting for me. I grabbed the last bagel and settled in at the counter where she had obviously been this morning, eyeing the paper resting still folded on the counter. I flipped the half folded paper flat on the counter and froze at the headline across the top of an article at the bottom of the page. I couldn't help but assume Bella hadn't gotten this far, or else she would have woken me before she left...or at least I would hope she would. I picked up the paper and read the article closely, growling. I slammed my fist on the counter in my anger.

_**Infamous Chicago criminal eludes Federal agents by using twin brother as decoy.**_

_The infamous James "Wingnut" Trager is still at large after it was eventually discovered that the man in Federal custody was not the criminal, but rather his twin brother Jeff, who posed as the felon in order to assist his brother's escape. Authorities have no updates as to where Trager is now located. If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact the CPD tipline or Crimestoppers._

I yanked my phone out of my pocket to dial Emmett, who answered the phone sleepily.

"What the fuck, Masen? We don't have to be at work for another hour and a half."

"Shut the fuck up, Emmett! I assume nobody called you about the newest Trager update?"

Emmett grunted and it sounded like he was getting out of bed. "Ugh, no. What's got you so upset? I mean they have the asshole after all..."

I cut him off. "No, Emmett...they don't!"

"WHAT?" Emmett boomed on the other end of the line.

"The fucking Sun Times knew before we did. The Feds have the wrong guy. Trager got his twin brother to pose as him so he could escape. They didn't find out until they finally got around to printing him. Fucking Feds!"

"FUCK! What the hell? Why weren't we informed about this?"

"Fuck if I know, Em, but I'm sure as hell pissed about it. I was about ready to go workout, but I say we hit the chief's office first. You in?"

"Fuck yeah, Edward. I'll see you in twenty."

I rushed around to find my keys and get on my shoes. I was not sure exactly why I was in such a panic. Bella was at work. We usually didn't worry too much about her while she was at work, but something about this whole situation just did not sit well with me at all. I rushed out the door, waving to Jensen on the way out. I hailed a cab to get to the station as quickly as possible.

I was halfway to the station when the beeper went off in my pocket with the special Code Red message. I dialed into the com center for further detailed instructions and my stomach dropped out of my body when I heard the automated voice…

_Hostage situation at Northwestern Hospital ER. Number of suspects, unknown. Number of hostages, unknown. Armament and weaponry, unknown. Report to mobile command trailer on site. Gear already on site. Maximum Priority._

I screamed, beating the roof of the cab with my clenched fist as I yelled for the driver to turn back. When he balked, I yanked out my badge. He blanched, turning quickly to make an illegal u-turn to head back towards the hospital. The whole way, all I could do was pray that Bella was safe, hope that she got out, and if she didn't, figure out a way to get her out of there.

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_**I know you all hate me for stopping this chapter here, but I was afraid the chapter would be too long if I combined the two. I will post the next chapter where we see it all go down asap…so please take a few minutes to review and then come back tomorrow to see the shit hit the fan!**_

_**Featured songs in this chapter to which I own no rights to, even if just to mention them:**_

_**No Doubt:**_

_**Underneath It All**_

_**Hella Good**_

_**Spiderwebs**_


	29. The Angel's Kiss

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I do take credit for ripping them from Twilight and turning into doctors and hot SWAT guys!**

_**So here we are...the prologue event. Big thanks to Sihaya9 and SassenachWench for helping me get it out for you guys!**_

_**Those of you who actually are in the medical profession, please forgive me if I get some of this wrong. I swear I did my research, but I'm sure it's not quite as realistic as it could be. I did my best! And to the law enforcement community, I understand I am taking HUGE creative license here...there's no way in hades these boys would be allowed to go in...no way, no how...but then again we wouldn't have a story if they didn't...so please just sit back, suspend reality ever so slightly, and enjoy the ride!**_

_**Without further ado...I give you...THE CHAPTER!**_

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**The Angel's Kiss**

**BPOV**

I walked through the big glass doors to the main lobby of the hospital, immediately struck by how much busier this part was than usual. I hated to see what I was about to face in the ER waiting room. I rushed to the locker room, put my purse away, making sure I was ready to face the chaos of the day that lay head.

I was soon joined by the rest of my intern class. We all groaned and complained, spending the last few seconds before our Residents came in to apprise us of where we were expected to fill in today and in what capacity.

Dr. K came in alone. She quickly brought us to order, informing us that the ER was way too chaotic for more than one resident to get away. She began passing out orders to the rest of the groups who left immediately, saving her own team to last. It hadn't passed my notice that she had yet to sentence anyone to triage. My stomach boiled in dread.

Finally, she approached the four of us with a comforting smile.

"Okay girls, this is how it's going to be, Silver and Chase will be assisting the surgical team in triaging cases sent their way. When a patient is referred to you, you will assess with more detail and report to the surgical residents, giving their rating on a scale of 1 to 5 with level one being most critical. Brandon, you will be working waiting room triage with Swan."

We both groaned and slumped, feeling defeated and undervalued.

"Now you two stop that," Dr. K chided us, "I only chose you because you have the best bedside manner and are the most adept at quickly assessing trauma levels. I trust the two of you to make the most informed decisions. This job is important. Assess incorrectly and you could bring one hell of a lawsuit down on this hospital. Swan, you take the waiting area north of the door, Brandon you take the south. I leave it to your own personal discretion and know you both have the brains and talent to make the best decisions. If someone isn't in your opinion in need of the high care level of this hospital, legally we can't encourage them to leave, but inform them that they will most definitely wait a minimum of twelve hours before they will be seen because all patients of higher need that come both before and after them must be treated first. Politely inform them that they might find faster treatment in personal physician's office or the urgent care center two blocks down on Ohio. Low concern waiters should be given the yellow number stickers and told to wait in the main waiting area upstairs. Are we clear?"

We both nodded. The four of us rushed down to join the chaos of the ER. Before we even reached the hallway that led to the ER, we were instantly hit with the rumble of many voices speaking, all blending together into a loud meaningless hum. The annoying rumble was coupled with the heavy, slightly sour odor that often accompanies countless bodies squeezed into a small space. I looked over at the counter to see a very stressed out looking Tanya, shuffling papers on the verge of tears, as a tall man with salt and pepper hair yelled at her over the counter that separated them.

She looked up as I passed. I sent her a small smile and a sympathetic look before crossing into the side of the waiting room designated to me.

I tapped the shoulder of the poor intern currently filling the role, to alert him I was about take over, whispering in his ear, "Tag, now run before they catch you."

He shot me an exhausted smile, handing me the cards and stickers from his pockets with a look that said 'good luck you're going to need it.' He disappeared into the crowd, getting angry glares as he traveled past. The second he was gone, the mob descended on me.

After ten minutes of having twenty people talk at me at once, I stepped over to a chair and stood on top of it putting my hands in the air and yelling loudly.

"Now listen up. The more you talk over each other, fight each other, and fight with me, the longer it takes me to help you. So you have 2 choices; you can either A) grow up and wait in line like we were all taught in kindergarten, or B) I can walk away and you can just wait out here all day long. The choice is yours!"

The crowd grew quiet. While I got dirty looks, they did straighten up a bit.

"Thank you."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mrs. Lancaster sitting quietly with Ethan on her lap as he cradled an arm with tears running down his face. I smiled at them and continued on.

"If you would please form an orderly line beginning here, we can sort you out. I also ask that you not push, shove, or cut in line."

A misshapen line formed in front of me. I began sorting through the patients, one by one. About one in every ten patients was critical enough to be sent to the admitting desk where Tanya was hurriedly tried to work everyone through the system. About one in five were injured badly enough that the urgent care center would not be much help and needed to stay on premesis, but the rest were all carefully encouraged to go down to the urgent care center or take a yellow sticker. About half growled at me, taking the yellow sticker, stomping off to sit in the main lobby.

An hour into my shift, the line was finally starting to move along when my favorite little patient came to stand in front of me. I smiled at him and asked what caused his injury this time, only to find that he had slipped getting out of the bathtub, hitting his arm on the edge. I gave them a level 4 tag and sent them to Tanya. My decision earned the ire of some of the others waiting behind them who griped that he had a broken arm and all the rest of the breaks had been sent out with a yellow tag. I did my best to briefly explain that HIPAA laws didn't allow me to discuss his condition, but I was one of his physicians and being aware of his medical history knew things that they did not. They grumbled as they watched mother and son cross back to wait patiently in the orange plastic chairs in front of the one window situated in the ER waiting area.

Just as I thought I had gotten through most of the patients already waiting when I arrived on my side of the room, I was accosted by a group of yellow stickers who returned to yell as they circled around me.

Rumors of my actions regarding Ethan had reached the main waiting room. They began spouting cries of discrimination, although I'm not sure what I was discriminating against since I had sent away people of all ages, races, sexes, and creeds. The group surrounding me was a good sampling of all of the above. I once again tried to keep my cool while explaining in the same manner what I had explained before.

Soon, someone from the group returned with a HR representative and a cocky intern, who began to berate me for my discrimination practices and I lost it.

"Excuse me, but I was chosen for this job because I am well known for both my bedside manner and my ability to work well in crisis situations. My superior has confidence in my abilities and if you don't think I can do this job then I'll be happy to hand it over to you, Dr. Price. In the meantime, if you even deigned to look at said patient's chart you would plainly see that the patient suffers from a case of Osteogenesis Imperfecta. He is under the care of an Orthopedic Specialist in this very hospital and is under standing orders to report to this ER in the events of breaks so that an Ortho can come down and reset the break for the patient. Now, if you wish to send him to the urgent care center where he'll be sent right back down here to Ortho, then you're a bigger jerk than I even realized. Now in the meantime, I have more patients to get through if ANYONE is to be seen at all today!"

The entire group watched with wide eyes before the HR person turned on the asshat, better known as cocky intern Dr. Michael Price. She griped him out before telling the yellow tags to return to the main waiting room and stay there or their yellow stickers will be taken back and they can wait until EVERYONE that comes to the ER has been taken care of first.

The group finally left. The ones waiting in the area near us all clapped loudly for me, making me blush, before I turned back to the newly formed line that had assembled while I was distracted.

I noticed in the hallway outside the ER that Dr. Trevor Sellers, aka Dr. Creepy Slimeball Jackass, was talking with a few other doctors. They must have been waiting for more patients to be called back after going through the admitting paperwork. I looked back down to the small girl in front of me, trying to assess if her breathing difficulties were a basic panic attack or if there was something bigger going on with her, when a loud noise followed by several loud gasps filled the room.

I looked up to find a tall man dressed all in black with a long black trench coat and black ski mask standing in the middle of the waiting room doorway, brandishing and AK 47 in one hand and a Desert Eagle handgun in the other. He ordered everyone to get down.

Screaming and panic ensued. I yelled across the room for Alice to get everyone out down the hallway behind them. I personally was helpless, because my half of the room was at the end of the building. Our only route of escape was to walk past the gun wielding psychopath.

Tanya sat trembling, her face nearly green, as the gunman stood with his handgun trained directly on her. He ordered her to come around and join us in the waiting room. Then he started yelling for Trevor Sellers at the top of his lungs.

I took several deep breaths, trying to settle the panic growing in my body as the gunman shifted his weapons toward us, directing everyone to sit along the far wall. He selected the tallest ones to stand in front of the single window to block the view of anyone outside. He backed across the room, closing the double doors to the hallway, sliding the locks into place at the top and bottom of the doors. He then moved to do the same to the other doors leading to and from the waiting area.

I looked around the room, noticing I still had two level two patients, five level threes, at least ten level fours and about a dozen level fives. There was also a handful of patients yet to be triaged, and SHIT, Ethan and Mrs. Lancaster...FUCK.

I fought to keep my mind under control. I needed to keep my head about me because I needed to figure out how to 1) help and maybe even treat these patients if I can't actually get them out of here, 2) try to talk down this psycho who had been pushed beyond all reason and get him to trust me, and 3) keep up the faith that my boyfriend, my brother, and the rest of my boys are already on their way.

I looked at the other side of the room, relieved to see that Alice and the patients on that side had gotten clear of the area and were safe. I began to scoot around, asking everyone if they were alright, trying my best to check on my most critical patients. Suddenly, I felt him behind me, his hot breath on my neck as his voice whispered in my ear. Chills ran down my spine...I knew that voice!

"Ah, ah, ah, Dr. Bitch, you stay put. You are my star hostage after all."

I turned with a gasp.

He laughed, pulling the mask off revealing the man I had been hiding from for over a month, the man who was supposed to be in the custody of the federal government, the man who was out to kill me for some reason...James "Wingnut" Trager.

He smiled at me, looking smug, as he slowly trailed the muzzle of the gun from where he held it at my temple down my cheek, across to my chin, down my neck and past my cleavage. He shoved it into my stomach so hard, I felt like I was going to be left with a large bruise.

"Lucky for your bitch ass, I'm not out for you anymore, not after that jackass served me up on a silver platter to the feds. He knows if they get me, I take down Mr. B down with me, and that opens up the market for him to take over. I have to admit, he's good."

"Who?"

He snorted, grabbing me around the shoulders and pulled me up in front of him like a shield, "Your little former boyfriend of course, Dr. Trevor Sellers himself."

I looked at him over my shoulder, too in shock from the new information to really absorb due to the fact that I was being held at gunpoint in front of his body. He chuckled darkly.

"Geez lady, for someone who's supposed to be smart, you sure are a dumb-ass bitch."

I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Of course...it all makes sense now. The new insurgence of medical grade drugs on the street, the change in tactics..."

The boys had kept me pretty well apprised of all the goings on since I had first been put on lockdown. They kept marveling over the new developments on the street. It was pretty obvious there was a new sheriff in town, and that sheriff was smarter, trickier, and far more influential than his predecessor.

"Of course it's a doctor, and of all the doctors, it shouldn't surprise me it's him...but how is this supposed to help anything? Hell Trager, he was standing in the middle of that hall not ten minutes before you came in with your guns held high, causing chaos. I'd bet he's probably 1/3 of the way back to Springfield by now. He's definitely not going to just hand himself over to you. The cops won't hand him over if they get their hands on him, they'll figure out what he is. They'll keep him for themselves and still find a way to take you out."

"Unlikely," he snarled, pushing a button to open a suitcase full of small bricks labeled C4 with a little device on top that I assumed was a remote detonator. He picked it up cradling it lovingly.

"This will assure me that won't be happening." He made sure the safety was flipped over the trigger and slid it into his pocket.

We could hear the chaos outside. Dozens of sirens flooded the street and lights flashed through the single window in the ER waiting area, making the room flash in alternating blue and red tones. Tanya's desk phone began to ring.

James smirked and mumbled 'right on time' before dragging me with him to the counter, picking up the phone, answering with a haughty tone.

"I'm sorry. The ER is currently undergoing a change in management. Try calling back later when you can send in Dr. Trevor Sellers. He and I have some business." He hung up the phone, leaning against the counter with a smile as he surveyed the scene before him.

Only seconds later, the phone began to ring again. He made no move to pick it up.

I heard a couple of kids begin to cry. I began working on Trager, trying to talk him into letting some of the people go.

"This isn't helping your case, Trager. At the very least, let out the most critical patients...they've already been triaged. Anyone with a card with a 2 or a 3 are in need of medical assistance immediately. Please consider releasing them. Maybe if you offer to trade the hostages then they'll find a way to get you Sellers."

"No," he growled at me in disgust.

I sighed. The ringing phone was already driving me nuts and giving me a headache.

"Can I at least answer the phone to give them a little peace of mind?"

"No, you can't talk to your brother and his little friends. No."

"Please, Trager, it won't be them. Chicago has dedicated hostage negotiators that deal with these situations. My brother and his friends are actually an infiltration team; they have no connections with negotiations at all."

"I. Said. NO."

I sighed. "Fine, if you won't send the hostages in need of immediate medical attention out, then can I please try to treat them? All I need is for you to escort me to the door to that hallway. Let me get a cart from the med room right by the doorway and fill it with a few supplies. I can bring it right in here and do it in front of you. Please, let me help them."

He sighed, grumbling that if anyone died before he had Sellers that he would never get him. He finally tucked the handgun in his pants, keeping the AK out in his hand, running his now free hand through his hair.

"Fine, but I'm keeping and eye on you. If you try anything funny, I will start shooting hostages, beginning with your little blonde friend over there that's got the bun in the oven."

I looked at him with wide eyes wondering how he knew about Tanya, our friendship, and her pregnancy. Before I could wonder any more about that, I nodded my head in agreement.

He unlatched the door, watching as I made my way to the medication storage room, grateful it had been left unlocked. I rifled quickly through the medications, grabbing pain pills, ampoules of intravenous meds, including a strong sedative that I pocketed along with a medium sized syringe. I moved over to grab styptic powder, bandages, gauze, stitch kits, wraps, braces, and a couple of slings. In case things got dicey, I nabbed a few hidden surgical blades, a chest tube, a crash cart, a few large needles and valves, along with a valve bag mask. To round it out, I picked up a box of snack cakes that were left in there from the faculty's Thanksgiving party in case I had any diabetics that might need some sugar.

By the time I pushed my way out of the storage room, my cart was overflowing. I pushed it in front of me while awkwardly dragging the crash cart behind me toward the door.

"Took you long enough...two more minutes and Blondie was going to be history."

I rolled my eyes. "It takes time to gather all the needed supplies. I think I did pretty damn good myself. Hopefully this is all we will need."

"You better as fuck hope so, because that ain't happening again. bitch. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." I spat back at him as I pushed the carts through the doorway.

I set them up in front of the counter so I could work on patients in the middle of the room where he could see everything I was doing. I settled a few supplies on the counter and began. I started by asking the level 2 patients to step over and asked Tanya to assist me with the patients.

The ringing phone was getting really distracting as I tried to listen to the chest of a man who was suffering from dangerously high blood pressure. He showed no other signs of immediate danger, so he was placed at level 2, in deference to the patients in full blown cardiac arrest and on the verge of bleeding out; they fell under level 1 care. I finally sighed, turning back to Trager.

"Would you at least take the damn thing off the hook if you're not going to answer? I can't hear!"

He groaned, motioning for me to come over. I stood in front of him in annoyance.

"You've got one minute tops. Tell them who you are, tell them you are providing medical care to the hostages, tell them my demands, and nothing more. Tell them not to call again unless they can give me Sellers...otherwise I'll call them."

I nodded, picking up the phone.

"H..hello?"

"This is Captain Marcus Corelli. May I ask who I'm speaking with?"

"This is Dr. Isabella Swan. He told me I could answer, but I don't have much time to talk. He's timing me. He's allowing me to provide medical care to the injured. I'm not sure I can really provide proper treatment to the more critical patients, but I'm doing my best. He has one demand. He wants Dr. Trevor Sellers. He has a personal vendetta. He says not to call again unless you can send Sellers in, otherwise he'll call you. I will tell you now, Sellers is a person of interest for you..."

At this point he pushed down the button disconnecting the call.

"Un,un,uh, princess, you tell them that and they won't send in my boy at all. Mr. B wants him dead and me to keep my mouth shut, which I intend to do."

I sighed, raising my eyebrow, nodding toward my patient in silent request to return to him. He used his gun to gesture towards him. I crossed the room to resume providing care for the elderly gentleman with high blood pressure.

Things were pretty quiet for the next few hours as I did my best to care for my patients with the supplies I had at my disposal. We were all waiting to hear anything new.

Once I had done all I could, I sat back and looked toward the window longingly, hoping my boys were out there and knew I was safe. I'd give anything to hug Edward in that moment. I closed my eyes, trying to push away my worries that I could possibly not make it out of this alive. I knew one thing for sure. I would definitely be the last to leave.

**EmPOV**

I was in a cab halfway to the station when the page came in. I called in and began to gag when I heard the message. The ER...someone had taken hostages in the ER and I knew that Bella was working ER today. Oh Fuck!

I banged on the thick glass separation between me and the driver. I insisted he turn around and take me back to the hospital. When he argued I pulled out my badge in one hand and my sidearm in the other. He gasped and quickly turned around. A block ahead, I saw another cab do a u-turn at the same time and figured it must be Edward.

Both cabs squealed to a stop at the road block. Edward and I reached the barricade at the same time, flashing our badges at the blue and whites working crowd control. Edward's hands were tugging at his hair and I was holding my hand over my mouth, trying to keep in breakfast. We just looked at each other helplessly before rushing to the mobile HQ trailer.

Jasper was already there, holding Alice close to his side as she was telling the officers what she had seen. She sobbed against Jasper's chest when she explained that Bella was on the far side of the room, cut off from any exits, and the gunman's firearm was trained on Tanya when she left.

Edward vibrated in his spot next to me and I was fucking terrified for Bella. I knew she was smart and strong, but I still had to fight the urge to go and crash through the door to rip the motherfucker's head off. Nobody fucks with my baby sister and lives to tell about it. One way or another, that asshole was going down!

**EPOV**

Jasper ran his hands over Alice's head comfortingly, visibly relieved that she was free from danger, but still obviously stressed about Bella. I moved over to the call center, asking what they had heard so far. They explained that only one phone call had been answered so far from the perp, who asked for Dr. Trevor Sellers as his sole demand. I shivered at the familiar voice as they played back the recorded message.

A second after I recognized the voice, a different voice filled the air from an incoming call filtering through the speakers, filling my heart with joy. Bella...she was safe! I saw Emmett and Jasper's posture relax slightly as we listened while she explained the situation at hand and what was going on. She started in telling us how Sellers was a person of importance to us, but was cut off, assumedly by Trager.

I could feel my lower jaw trembling and my eyes stinging as I thought of my Bella being at the mercy of that lunatic. My fingernails dug painfully into the palm of my clenched fists. I turned and stormed out of the trailer, ducking behind it. I was focused on resisting the urge to punch something, when I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. I turned to look into a pair of comforting blue eyes.

"Oh God, Dad...Bella's in there!" The man who had filled the roll of my father for the past seventeen years pulled me into a tight hug, tears rolling down both of our cheeks.

"I know, son, I know. Your mom's on her way too. She's in hysterics as well. We all love Bella, son. She's going to make it out of this. In the meantime, she is a strong capable woman who can handle herself in a crisis situation like nobody's business. Trust me, I've seen it myself. I can't think of a more capable student in my employ that could handle this situation any better than your Bella. Just be strong for her, son."

I nodded as we both fought to get our emotions back under control. If I didn't straighten up, the chief would come in and yank us all the minute he figured out we had such a close personal relationship with Bella. Fuck that, we were going to be the ones to go get her, no matter what anyone said. They could can all of our asses later, for all the fuck we cared, we just wanted our girl out of there!

The next several hours were torture as we waited for more information, trying to converge all of our intel into some sort of actionable solution. The truth was, he had knocked out the security cameras, had stationed tall hostages in front of the window in order to completely conceal our view of the room, removing all options of utilizing snipers to resolve the situation. We were flying deaf and blind and still weren't even sure that there wasn't more than one gunman.

At the three hour mark, we heard chatter though the speakers from our high eyes that there was movement in the window. We all rushed to the screen in time to see someone attending to the men standing in the way of our view. I recognized her ring before I saw her face peek around one of the tall men being forced to stand in front of the window. Bella looked up, locking eyes with one of our operatives, and began to gesture behind the backs of the men as she pretended to use her stethoscope to examine them.

We watched closely, beginning to put the facts together as she gestured numbers and used sign language and pantomime to provide logistics. My Dad patted me on the back in a gesture to imply 'see, told you she was capable of dealing with this.' I nodded, watching intently as Emmett and I pieced together her message with our unique insight into the mind of Bella.

One Gunman, 2 guns seen, AK-47 and large handgun looked like Desert Eagle, and 1 knife, lots of C4 with remote trigger. 38 hostages including herself...she was the only doctor.

Far too quickly, she was once again gone from view. My heart clenched tightly in my chest at the absence of her face. If I could see her, I knew she was okay, but the rest of the time I had no way of knowing if she was still safe or not.

The commander brought everyone together, including our new intel into our strategy, as the rest of the guys and I struggled to focus. The Desert Eagle handgun was highly disconcerting. It was one of the few handguns capable of containing .50 caliber armor piercing rounds. If he had .50 cals in it, he would only have 7 shots, but those shots could take out 7 officers regardless of our body armor.

Frustrated with the lack of eyes on the scene, the chief wanted to send in the tech team to install covert cams in the ventilation system. Unfortuantly, the tech team had left the day before for a federally required technology enhancement program. While the order for their return had been dispatched, they would not arrive for another two hours. The commander was frustrated enough that he finally began to wear down to our constant requests to send Jasper and I in. We had just finished this training in Minnesota, barely a month ago. The training was fresh and the motivation was definitely solid.

We were glad to finally be doing something, because sitting still and not knowing what was going on in there was the worst kind of hell. Never in my whole life have I ever been so scared.

The person I loved most in this whole world was in that room with a man who I knew for a fact had held a gun directly to her head at least once, perhaps more than once. The anger and the fire that boiled up inside me at that thought made me want to bust right through the doors and kill him with my bare hands. Since that wasn't possible, then keeping busy actually advancing the mission had to be sufficient. I had to do something...anything...and I was desperate to get eyes in that room so I could keep a first hand view to make sure my girl was safe.

Armed with schematics and my Dad's help, we worked out a plan for entry and silent insertion of wireless cameras and microphones to keep eyes in the room and gather intel. Fifteen minutes later, Jasper, Emmett, Andy, and I were in the hospitals entry way, just above the concourse that connected the ER to the main waiting area.

Jasper and I had packs ready and were preparing to crawl into the shaft when Emmett grabbed our arms tightly.

"Be careful, guys. Remember, Bella needs this to happen safely and quietly. I know you both love her, especially you, Edward, but as long as you've cared about her; I have sixteen more years on you. Keep my baby sister safe and don't do anything stupid!"

We both nodded, patting his hand before sliding into the tiny space, army crawling through the shafts. At the third intersection, we turned left, sliding down the shaft toward the ER level. There we snaked through the maze of continually shrinking interchanges until we were finally above the far side of the waiting room.

I maneuvered the camera to get a view of the room through the small screen we had with us. I felt my breath quicken when I saw Bella sitting next to Tanya along the far wall, her arm rubbing Tanya's bicep comfortingly as she glared at Trager who was pacing in front of them gesturing wildly and ranting.

Japer positioned the microphone and we could instantly hear the voices from the room through our earpieces.

"Fuck no, you can't take them to the bathroom! We have to stay here."

Bella's voice was steady and calm as she glared back at the psycho, "Trager, we've been sitting here for five hours. We have pregnant women and children here. They need bathrooms and soon we'll need food and drink, but for now we really need to go to the restrooms. It's either that or you'll have to suffer the smell for the rest of the time we are here, because there's only so long we can all hold it."

As he paced back across the room, Bella's gaze snapped directly at the camera. I saw her smirk for the briefest of seconds before she snapped back to Trager so as not to give us away. I smiled and thanked God for my beautiful, smart, strong girlfriend who I was going to convince to marry me as soon as I could.

Once we had the devices in place, Jasper began to shift and maneuver his way back through the labyrinth of tunnels we came through.

I sat there a while longer, fighting the need to rip out the vent cover and drop into the room to be with Bella as Trager pointed the gun directly at her body to emphasize his point as he argued with her. My heart stopped for a moment before it began a violent rampage in my chest, beating so loudly I was almost afraid Trager could hear it in the waiting room below. Being this close to her and not being able to protect her was completely unbearable. I was ready to do just about anything to get her out.

Finally, after a few seconds of hearing Jasper whisper-yell for me to follow him, I pulled myself back through the vents and back to the van to watch from afar. My heart fought desperately to return back to its home, waiting in that room with the dangerous gunman.

**BPOV**

I was beginning to get frustrated and actually very worried about my patients and my patience...neither seemed to be faring well. Finally, I snapped on Trager, insisting that he needed to give everyone a restroom break at the very least.

I was about to lose it completely when is saw movement in the corner of my eye, high above Trager's head. I saw the glint of something move slightly and I realized it was a flexible camera of sorts. They really were still out there and they were getting some surveillance to help them keep tabs on what was going on in here. Thank God!

I realized quickly that I was smirking and staring, so I shook off my face to glare at Trager again. Thankfully, he was too busy in his own little rant to notice.

I continued to nag him for fifteen minutes, recognizing that Mr. Johnson's water retention was getting worse. He probably needed to void badly, not to mention the little kids. Ethan was hiding a pee pee bounce as he tried his best to stay still and not wet himself.

Finally, Trager gave in, allowing us all to get up and move slowly to the restrooms, one small group at a time until everyone had gone. I took my bathroom time as an opportunity to fill the syringe in my pocket with the sedative, in hopes of getting an opportunity to use it, before tucking the now full syringe back into my pocket.

Once everyone was situated again, we went back to our waiting pattern. Generally when you think of a hostage situation, you think it is intense and action packed. While some parts are, what they never relay in the movies and in books is how absolutely boring the hours and hours of waiting can be. I'm sure it was even more so for those who weren't keeping constant watch on the condition of others in their care.

We were on hour eight of the standoff when stomachs began to rumble more insistently. Suddenly across the room, Mrs. Sandusky began to rock back and forth in her seat. I noticed a sheen of sweat had formed on her body since I had last checked her. I had been keeping a close eye on her glucose levels all day, noticing that she seemed to keep getting weaker and weaker. Trager had refused to let me give anyone the food, even to the diabetics. Now she was bottoming out. I knew what was coming, but wasn't fast enough to stop it. By the time I had taken two steps across the room, she was already passed out on the floor, shivering and beginning to seize.

I yelled for Tanya to bring me the cart, ordering everyone to step back. I took the jacket on the floor from a nearby patient to prop under her head. I quickly injected Mrs. Sandusky with an anticonvulsive and pulled out an IV, dosing it with a glucose solution to help replenish her system. I inserted the IV into her arm quickly in an attempt to hydrate and help raise her glucose levels. It took several minutes before she was finally stabilized. I left Tanya to watch her. I stood and rounded on Trager, sick and tired of his twisted game.

"Listen up, motherfucker. You almost committed your first murder of the day just then by not allowing me to treat this woman. She and several others are getting to the point where they are beyond my help. If you would have just let me give her some food earlier, we would have been okay. Now look what happened, you piece of shit! Now you listen, and you listen good! Sellers is gone, they're not going to find him, and all you're doing is wasting innocent lives here. Why don't you go pick up the phone and talk to the negotiators...start making some deals, trade some of the more critical patients for some food maybe and start to work a way out of this mess? It's been eight hours, you know as well as I do that Sellers has already skipped town to save his own ass. He is probably halfway to some foreign tropical country right now, ready to sit on a beach and sip cocktails. You're not going to get your vindication this way."

James listened to me with growing anger, but he didn't stop me. When I was done, he snarled at me, ordering me to sit down. He began pacing again in agitation before his own stomach growled. He walked over to grab a snack cake off the cart, tearing it open with his teeth, taking a bite, and then spitting it out.

"What the fuck is this stuff?"

I snickered, "Organic wheatgrass muffins. They taste like shit, but they would have served the needed purpose if you had actually allowed me to feed it to my patients with diabetes, ya jackass!"

James threw the muffin to the ground and stomped over to the phone. He picked it up and froze, finding himself unaware of who to call. He stared at the numbers blankly before hearing the voice that had a permanent tap into the line over the receiver.

I heard him mumbling a few orders before finally hanging up and stepping in front of me.

"We're sending out Fatty McBitch down there on the floor, along with Blood Pressure McGhee, and Water Retention Walter in fifteen. You will take them out and come back in with the food. You don't come back, they all die."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Like I would leave everyone else behind without a doctor, anyway."

Trager cocked his head and looked at me strangely, obviously not capable of comprehending the concept of caring for others and a sense of duty. He shrugged it off, ordering one of the stronger men to help me grab the gurney from the hallway and two more to help shift Mrs. Sandusky onto it for transport.

He stood in the doorway, watching as one of the guys and I walked quickly up the hallway to grab the gurney stationed near the corner, where it intersected with the back hall. I walked down to the end of the gurney, jumping when I felt a soft warm hand touch my arm. I didn't look because I didn't want to tip off Trager, but the hum in my body let me know exactly who it was.

"I love you more than anything," I whispered, looking straight ahead as Jordan, the guy helping me, looked at me like I was insane.

"I love you too, Bella. We're going to get you out of this, I promise love. I promise."

It broke my heart to hear the desperation in Edward's voice. It took every bit of strength in my body to walk away from him in that moment, but there was a room full of over thirty people that needed me. As much as my self preservation instincts made me want to run away into the safety of my boyfriend's arms, I knew I couldn't abandon my patients.

We pushed back through the door and the men helped me shift Mrs. Sandusky onto the gurney. Mr. Johnson held her IV bag, gripping the side of the gurney to walk along with me. Mr. Talbot held on to the other side as the three of us shuffled through the door into the open outside. Paramedics escorted by SWAT members rushed to the door to assist the injured. Emmett ran up to me, pushing a cart of food.

His voice cracked as he spoke. "I love you, Bella. I'm so proud of you. I promise we will get you out of there."

"I love you too, Em. I have faith in all of you. I wish I could hug you, but I don't know what he'd do. I need to hurry and get back in there."

Emmett grabbed my hand on the cart, squeezing it. He watched as I backed my way toward the door with the cart in tow, keeping my eyes locked on my brother until the last possible second.

When I reached the door, it opened and Jordan helped me bring in the cart with the food. It was filled with chips, cold cut sandwiches, and several flats of bottled water, which we distributed to everyone in the room. We all ate greedily in an eerie quiet, filled with nothing more than the sound of smacking mouths.

**EPOV**

My heart was beating so wildly, I began to wonder if it would beat right out of my fucking chest as I used my angled mirror to watch Bella walk toward my position in the back hall. I was going to be so close to her, and yet I couldn't take her and run like I wanted. I knew she wouldn't go, even if I tried.

When I watched the monitor on my wrist and heard the conversation in my earpiece, I was filled with a combination of unimaginable pride and deep consuming panic. She would walk back into the danger of that room no matter what, because she would never leave even one single person behind. Honestly, even if she weren't a doctor in charge of their care, I'm pretty sure Bella would still insist they send everyone else out first. It was just in her nature, the selfless yin to my selfish yang.

It seemed like it took forever for her to get close to me. Even though it broke every piece of protocol in the book, I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to touch her, to remind myself she was real and she was okay. She didn't see me, probably didn't even know I was there, until I touched her, and yet she knew it was me.

We confessed love and made whispered promises in the few scant seconds she was by my side. Then she was gone. I had to literally grab the railing that ran along the wall to keep myself from following after her and being a human shield to keep her safe.

I looked across the corridor at an ashen Jasper, standing sentry on the other side.

"Dude that was the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen you do, but I think it helped her."

I nodded as we each took a knee, waiting for our next orders.

**EmPov**

Is it possible to be so fucking proud and so fucking furious with someone at the same time? Bella's selfless need to stay with the hostages and take care of them made me fill with pride to be able to say she's my baby sister and yet the big brother in me wanted her safe.

Since she had been the obsessive focus of this nutcase for the past month, I couldn't help but feel that she was also the most in danger from the situation. She was already marked for death, so what would keep him from killing her flat out after it was all said and done?

Everything happened in slow motion. The doors began to open and out she walked, pushing a gurney with the assistance of two weak looking men who seemed to be doing less assisting and more using the gurney as a crutch to lean on. The paramedics rushed out first with SWAT escorts to help the patients. As soon as they were clear, I rushed out with the food loaded cart.

It was against every law of nature not to pull my baby sis into my arms and hug her. I wanted to comfort her like I did when we were little, to tell her that monsters weren't real. They were only in her imagination. But monsters were real. She was standing face to face with one this very day, and holding her own against him I might add.

I couldn't hug her, but I couldn't resist squeezing her hand that held the cart before she started to back away from me toward the door. I fought to keep my lunch down. The overwhelming feeling that this could be the last time I would ever see her hit me like a brick wall. My heart was pounding in my chest and my hands vibrated at my sides as I watched her step away slowly, then finally turn when she reached the door, shooting one last look over her shoulder before the door closed behind her.

I knew I wouldn't see her again until we instituted the mission plan. I turned tail, stomping into the trailer to watch the feed where I would count away the seconds until we started the raid, trying to hide the fact that I was wiping away tears as I walked.

**BPOV**

Night began to fall and the room grew dark as the main power to the room shut off, leaving Trager and the rest of the hostages panicking. I smiled knowing that things were going to come to a head soon.

Night was the SWAT team's best friend. You can't see them, but thanks to night vision goggles, and what was most certainly a night vision capable camera mounted in the ceiling above us, they could definitely see us.

I began shifting the hostages under the rouse of gathering them together to keep them calm. when in reality I was assessing possible entry points and the best locations to keep them out of possible crossfire. I had them about halfway situated when I heard a loud noise and all hell broke loose.

I yelled for everyone to cover their eyes and lay on the floor a second before I heard someone shout "One Away." I covered my eyes, hearing the loud bang that left my ears buzzing and seeing the bright flash of white light even through my closed eyelids and shielding fingers.

Unfortunately, Trager knew it was coming too, turning his back to the blast. In an instant, he grabbed me around my shoulders with my wrists secure in his grip to keep me from fighting back, while holding his massive handgun to my head, his AK abandoned to the floor. I wondered why he would give up the automatic assault rifle for a handgun until I remembered it was a Desert Eagle. While it could hold magazines with smaller caliber ammunition, it also had the capability of firing .50 caliber armor piercing rounds.

I couldn't see much in the darkened room, but I could pinpoint familiar panic stricken voices commanding Trager to let me go and he wouldn't get hurt. This only made him tighten his grip with a vindictive laugh.

"Oh, all the boys are here to save the little bitch. Guess what, you didn't provide me with the dirty Dr. Sellers, so guess who gets to die in his place?"

He pushed the gun harder into my head, causing me to shift in his grip, freeing my right hand from being bound. It gave me a second to reach into my pocket and grab out the sedative filled syringe, flip off the cap, and plunge it deeply into his thigh muscle. I pressed the plunger with strong force, pushing the liquid into his muscle with painful speed. Since I couldn't sink it directly into his blood via a major vein, the effects would be slow acting if even effective, but hopefully, at the very least, it would cause him distracting pain and numbing.

He jerked back in pain, releasing my other hand which I used to knock the handgun out of his grasp, pushing it away from us with my foot. I dropped to the floor, clutching the AK and sending it hurtling across the floor towards the voices of my boys and away from the dangerous attacker.

I turned back in time to see the flickering light emerge from his pocket. I lunged for it just as I heard a shot and saw it drop from his hand to the floor. I grabbed the trigger and scooted back quickly, keeping it safely in my hand.

Trager dropped to the floor. I could barely see his outline through the minimal lighting in the room, noticing he slumped into a crouch, cradling the shoulder on the opposite side of his body.

I scooted back a bit more, worried he might still be capable of finding me, only to brush my hand against the Desert Eagle on the floor. I slid the remote trigger in my pocket and picked up the gun, feeling to make sure the safety was off in order to protect myself if he did come my way.

I heard the boys shouting orders and saw them approaching him in formation, and then everything happened in slow motion. I saw Trager reach into his boot on the side I was, the one that none of the guys had a perspective to see. I watched in horror as he grabbed out a second Desert Eagle, leveling it at the guys from down by his boot.

I screamed and began to pull the trigger in the exact same second I saw the bright discharge from his muzzle. My gun discharged a nanosecond later, knocking me back on the floor. The round hit Trager in the side, right under his arm, at the same instant that several other weapons fired with loud pops.

I watched in horror as one of the SWAT boys dropped, but in the dark with full armor, I had no idea which one, at the same time that James dropped to the floor motionless.

The room was full of screaming and crying as the hostages continued to panic at the traumatic sight they had just witnessed.

I scrambled over toward the dropped officer, praying it wasn't one of my boys, and yet knowing in my heart it was.

Before I even reached him, I could hear the ragged sucking breath and knew instantly the bullet had been a .50 cal that breeched his Kevlar and punctured his lung. My only hope was that the damage wasn't more extensive.

The lights came up just as I reached up, grabbing the shoulder straps to release the clasp and remove the body armor so I could assess the real damage. I reached behind to feel that the bullet was embedded in the Kevlar plating in the back of his jacket. I sighed in relief, knowing that at least we didn't have to dig out the bullet.

I immediately set to work, plucking a 14 gauge needle off the cart and attaching a one way valve. I grabbed the utility knife off the officer's belt and used it to cut away the t-shirt beneath to reveal his wounded chest.

I immediately recognized the toned chest in front of me and the small lip shaped birth mark just above the gunshot wound. I froze as I remembered when he told me that when he was little, his mom had called the birthmark his angel's kiss.

I shook my head, pushing myself to deal with the trauma first and not freak out. I reached for the needle, inserting it between the second and third intercostal space at the mid clavicular line. I held my breath as I waited to hear a reassuring gush of air as his lung expanded, before I shifted my attention to slowing the bleeding.

I was hoping they would hurry and let in some surgical staff because he needed to be taken up stat. I continued to work, struggling not to focus on who it was that I was working on.

I was successful until I heard his ragged voice through his mask and I lost all focus and composure. A sob squeaked from my throat and tears began to fall, as I struggled to see the temporary dressings I was attempting to apply.

"Bella, I love you. Never forget that I love you, sweetheart. All I am is yours, forever."

I was hiccupping gasps of air as I struggled to continue putting pressure on his wound, wondering when the goddamned medical staff was going to get here already.

"I...I love you, Edward. You're going to be okay you hear me? Don't you go saying your goodbyes to me! Don't you fucking dare! I love you, so don't you give up on me or I'll never forgive you." I gasped out between sobs.

I felt his weak hand reach up and cup my cheek a moment before I felt a set of hands over mine. Another strong set of hands pulled me away from him. I screamed and cried, trying to fight my way back, until I heard my brother's voice in my ear.

"Shhh...Bells...shhhh...its okay, honey. Let them take care of him. You know they have to take him to surgery now. Carlisle is going with him. He'll be okay. The best of the best are here to work on him."

I grabbed tightly to his waist, watching as they worked on Edward. He cried out as they shifted him onto a gurney, and began to wheel him away. When he began to get further away, I finally wiggled out of Emmett's arms. I ran up to the cart, kissing his forehead before he disappeared through the doors.

"I love you, Edward Anthony Masen! You fight for me...you hear me? I need you damn it, so fight for me!" I yelled as they wheeled him further away. I turned and buried my aching head into my brother's strong comforting chest and sobbed.


	30. Focus Fluctuations

**Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the original Twilight characters.**

_**Thanks as always to my validation beta Sassenach Wench.**_

_**A special thanks to our guest beta Nobel Korhedron for giving his opinions on this chapter!**_

_**JUST A REMINDER TO ALL THOSE CONFUSED BY THE NEW ROUND OF UPDATES. DUE TO POPULAR REQUEST, I AM REPOSTING AN EDITED VERSION OF THIS STORY HERE TO MEET THE TOS. OTHER THAN TAMING SOME OF THE LEMONS TO MEET GUIDELINES IT IS EXACTLY THE SAME. IF YOU WISH TO READ THE FULL OCTANE VERSION OF THIS STORY, PLEASE READ ON MY PROFILE TO FIND LINKS TO THIS STORY ON TWCSLIBRARY AND TWILIGHTED**_

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**Focus Fluctuations**

**EPOV**

From the moment the lights went out and I pulled down my night vision goggles shading the world in green, my entire body was trained on one thought and one thought alone. I had to save Bella. No matter what, Bella was my priority.

I heard the Alpha team yell out 'One Away' and turned my face, waiting for the flash bang to detonate. Once the light dissipated, Jasper and I, along with the rest of our Charlie team, burst through the doors from the hallway where I had touched Bella only a few hours before when she had come my way to grab the gurney for her patient.

The three entry teams converged in the center of the room, making a semicircle around Trager. To my utter horror, he had Bella wrapped in his arm with the Desert Eagle to her head, her hands held tightly in this. She struggled against his grip, fear and determination in her eyes.

My feet acted on their own volition, taking several steps closer, my body desperately needing to be closer to her. I noticed that I wasn't the only one advancing ahead of schedule. I knew Emmett, Jasper, and Andy were all having the same issues I was in keeping themselves professional with Bella in such great danger. This was exactly why they never allow officers with emotional ties to the situation to be in on a mission such as this. We shouldn't be here, but we wouldn't take no for an answer. Since the chief wasn't at ground zero, somehow we had slipped through the cracks.

Trager pushed the gun harder into my beautiful Bella's temple, freeing one of her hands. Her hand immediately darted into her pocket, coming back out brandishing something in her fist. I suddenly couldn't breathe when I realized what she was going to do. _Fuck, was she trying to get herself killed?_ In the instant, it took for me to decode her actions, her hand came down with painful force. The needle clutched in her fist penetrated the denim covering Trager's leg. She shoved the plunger down hard with the flat of her palm, causing Trager to jerk reflexively in pain, pulling the gun away from her temple.

The whole world froze for me as I watched Bella kick into what could only be described as some sort of pseudo Lara Croft mode. In a few efficient moves, she knocked the gun out of Trager's hand, kicking it away with her foot, before dropping down to grab for the AK on the floor, shoving it spinning toward our feet to get it away from Trager. I looked back up just in time to see Trager's hand emerging from his pants with another weapon. Before I even registered what I was doing, or even scarier yet, the fact that Bella had noticed what he had grabbed out as well, I was lunging for it. I had pulled the trigger, lodging a bullet in his right shoulder, at which point he dropped what he was holding.

I watched as Bella dropped back to the floor, grabbing the device with the flashing red light that I now recognized to be a remote detonator for the C4 case hidden somewhere in the room.

Trager had also dropped into a low crouch, holding his shoulder protectively. I began to advance on his position, not having the patience to wait. At this point, I was being driven by pure unadulterated rage. I wanted the motherfucker to suffer for even thinking of putting a gun to my Bella's head.

I never saw the gun in his hand. I barely even heard Bella's scream. I was caught completely off guard when the blinding pain sliced through my upper chest on my left hand side before the pain morphed into what felt like an explosion. Then the world went black.

As I lay in the darkness, I had the overwhelming feeling that I was drowning. I struggled to take a breath, but couldn't. I could hear an angel talking above me as her hands separated my shirt from my body.

I listened intently as she gasped, whispering, "Oh God, angel's kiss...God no!"

I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't respond to my desires. I felt like my life was fading away from me, my body growing weaker by the second. Then I felt a stab in my chest, followed by an instant relief as my breath finally caught.

Now that I could breathe again, the rest of the pain that shot through my body suddenly came to the forefront, garnering my undivided attention. Pulling my eyes open, I discovered that my night vision goggles were still in place, causing the light now filling the room to blind me painfully.

I moaned, shifting as I felt her hands fluttering over my body as she pushed at me with wads of gauze, making the shooting pain worse. I willed myself not to scream or pull away, knowing that she was struggling to save my life.

I felt several pairs of hands reach down to restrain me. One set thankfully removed the goggles, allowing me to open my eyes and look at my angel fighting for my life. The only way I could make it through this was to watch her as she struggled frantically to stop the bleeding, causing pain to course through my body with every movement.

I finally found my voice, struggling to tell her how much I loved her. I could breathe now, but I still felt like I was growing weaker with each passing second. I wouldn't stay awake much longer. I needed her to know.

As I tried to tell her, my heart broke watching her focused professional exterior crumble before my eyes as the tears spilled over her eyelashes and traveled down her beautiful porcelain face. She was so damn beautiful. For several long seconds, I truly believed she really was an angel sent by God just for me.

She started to rant at me through her rough hiccupping sobs, as she demanded I stopped saying goodbye and telling me if I gave up on her, she'd never forgive me. The memory flashed through my mind as I remembered holding her in Andy's hospital room while he was in a coma, promising her that we wouldn't leave her. I promised her I wouldn't die and leave her behind. While my body was still weak and growing more faint by the second, my mind had kicked into overdrive. I had to fight for Bella. I couldn't disappoint her again.

I reached my hand up slowly to touch her cheek, trying to tell her without words that I wasn't going to leave her. I was going to get through this. Soon, others appeared around me. My angel of mercy was pulled away, kicking and screaming, while the new people took over, poking and prodding me, talking medical gibberish.

I began mumbling Bella's name, wanting them to bring her back, when an older gentleman leaned over me. He told me not to speak and to save my strength before pushing a needle into my arm, slowly releasing the medication into my bloodstream. I continued to mumble Bella's name, looking around for her as best I could from my place on the floor, before my body grew heavier and my mumbles faded to low hums.

I barely felt it as they shifted me off of the floor and onto the gurney, beginning to roll me away. The medication was doing its job taking away all sensation in my body. Just as the room was fading from my view, I felt the warm hum of Bella's hand on my arm and her lips on my forehead. I smiled. Even through the fog of pain numbing medication, I could still feel her, still hear her. Then I heard her desperate voice above the sounds of the people talking and the rollers of the gurney squeaking on the linoleum floors.

"I love you, Edward Anthony Masen! You fight for me...you hear me? I need you damn it, so fight for me!"

Although I couldn't form the words with my mouth, I answered her in my mind.

"I will, my love, I promise. Then, when I'm better, I'm going to marry you and make you mine."

Then the whole world went black again. I could no longer feel, see, or hear anything but my Bella.

**EmPOV**

We stood and watched as they wheeled Edward away. The further away the gurney got, the less Bella's legs seemed to be capable of holding her up. I slowly moved her toward the chairs near the hallway, away from Trager's body, to help her sit down. I tried my best to calm her down.

I had been amazed through the whole thing how calm and collected Bella had been. I had never seen anything like it, but now it seemed that everything she had pushed back over the past twelve hours was hitting her in a tidal wave. Her face went blank as she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them protectively. She was shivering and rocking in place with tears streaming down her ghostly pale face. It was more than a little terrifying for me that while I had seen Bella freaked out and upset many times throughout her life, I had never seen her anywhere near the state she was in at that moment, not even when our parents died.

She rocked and chanted quietly to herself. I knelt before her, running my hands up and down her arms and calling her name trying to get her to look me in the eye instead of looking through me as though I weren't there. Officers kept approaching us, wanting her statement, as the room buzzed with people assisting the other patients and getting their statements. Meanwhile, a coroner's office crew worked on preparing Trager's body for transport.

Bella had been so focused on Edward and saving his life, that thankfully she hadn't even registered yet that the dead body of James had been just a few feet away from her the whole time. Her tunnel vision had kept her focused on saving Edward's life at that time, as opposed to the fact that she had taken James' life.

Truth of the matter was, less than a second later, one of the other five bullets that had embedded in his skull would have done the trick if the .50 cal from the gun Bella held from her hiding place beside him hadn't already taken care of him. It cut through both of his lungs and his heart as it made its way through his body, shooting out the other side, to bury itself in the exit sign above the door leading out to the street.

The murmur of the room stopped when the coroner entered. He lifted the sheet from the top of the body, declaring the scene a closed case. As soon as he made the final call, his people began to transfer Trager's body to the black body bag before moving it to the gurney for transport to the city morgue. As they pulled the zipper up around the body, it was as if somebody slapped Bella across the face. She instantly stood up and walked toward where the body was, shoving away my hand as I tried to stop her.

She moved to stand next to the gurney, a washed out, blank look on her face as she stared at the large body bag, which concealed the corpse of the criminal who threatened her life only minutes before. She reached a shaking hand out to pull back the black plastic covering his lifeless face. She stood frozen for a moment, the plastic in her hand vibrating noisily as her shaking increased. Then she let it drop back down, backing away a few steps, shaking her head. After backing about a foot away, she dropped to her knees and began to wail. I started toward her, but before I could get there, Jasper and Alice were dropped to her sides, wrapping her in their arms, rocking back and forth with her. She resumed her rhythm with her arms wrapped around herself as though she were trying to hold her own body parts together.

I took a few steps closer. I could finally make out what she was whispering repeatedly.

"Oh God, I killed him. I killed a man. I'm supposed to save lives, not take them. Oh God...I wanted him dead so bad and then I did it...I chose to kill him...I'm practically a murderer."

Jasper and Alice kept telling her she wasn't a murderer that she only did what she had to do, but she couldn't hear them. She was too lost in her own world. The coroner's men finally pulled themselves together from gawking at the scene in front of them, removing the body from the room. The rest of the people surrounding us slowly filtered out, leaving us alone with only a few crime scene investigators and detectives. They continued matching up physical evidence to the crime scene and the video feed from the surveillance camera mounted in the ceiling. This was going to be an open and shut case. They all knew it, but since it was such a strange and involved case, they were being extra thorough in order to keep things legit.

After Alice got the first of many update texts on Edward's condition, we finally got Bella off the floor. She finally began to come back to her senses a bit after we pointed out that we would probably be better off in the surgical waiting area in case there were any updates on the progress of Edward's surgery along the way.

The second Carlisle found out his son had been shot, he immediately arranged for his best surgeons to be ready to go. He insisted that while he would not operate, that he would observe in the room.

Also, the second everyone was made aware of the situation, Krista and Sabrina went straight to the viewing gallery above the operating room where Edward was being prepped for surgery. They began sending regular update texts to Alice's phone. So far, Edward was doing quite well. The damage was very minor compared to what could have happened. One quarter of an inch to the left and the bullet would have sliced right through his aorta, which would have most likely been an immediate death sentence.

When we reached the waiting room, we immediately saw a weeping Esme in the corner, staring out the windows toward the city lights beyond. When Bella saw her, she broke away from us, running in a full on sprint toward Esme. When Esme saw her, she turned with open arms. Bella reached her, falling into her outstretched arms as Esme pulled her close. They sobbed together heavily.

"I'm sorry, Esme. It's all my fault!"

Esme pulled her away sharply by the tops of her arms, shaking her slightly.

"This is not your fault, Isabella. Do not blame yourself!"

Bella sniffled, vibrating visibly in Esme's arms.

"But it is, Esme. He was taking too many risks because of me. He risked his life, and now he might possibly die, all because of me! It IS all my fault!"

Esme shook her head, pulling Bella into a seat next to her. She tucked Bella's head against her chest, stroking her hair like a small child.

"No, my darling...that was his choice. He loves you. He couldn't stay way from you while you were in danger, any more than you would be able to if it were him! The two of you are each other's completing half. Neither of you could have stayed away from a situation like that if the roles were reversed and you know that. Now please stop crying and blaming yourself. You need to calm down and rest. If I know my son, you are the first person he will want to see when he wakes up."

Bella nodded weakly, settling into the seat next to Esme. They continued to hold hands between them, their fingers intertwined so tightly with one another that their knuckles were white.

I settled in on the other side of Bella, running my hand down her back and across her shoulders. I tried to help release some of the tension in her muscles as she sat ramrod straight in her seat, tapping her foot, and glancing at the clock nearly once a minute.

Jasper, Alice, and Andy disappeared, returning soon after with an armload of booty from the vending machines. They were soon followed by Rose who carted two carriers full of Starbucks cups. It took a little coaxing, but we finally convinced both Esme and Bella to at the very least take some of the coffee.

Every time Alice's phone would beep, all eyes would snap to her face. She would look up directly into Bella or Esme's eyes and relay the newest update.

Two hours later, she smiled and said that the surgeons were finished. Edward seemed to be doing well. The girls in the gallery suspected that Carlisle and the surgeon would come talk to us as soon as Edward was settled in recovery.

Sure enough, about five minute later, an exhausted looking Carlisle and the head surgeon came striding down the hallway toward us. Carlisle walked straight up to Esme and Bella, who were still holding hands between them. He pulled them both into his arms, tucking them each into his sides as they let go of their hands, wrapping their arms around one another's waist.

After a few seconds of Carlisle whispering comforting words that only they could hear, we were all invited to step into the large conference room where the surgeon told us about the surgery and Edward's prognosis.

Edward was a very lucky man. The bullet had been a clean shot that snapped two ribs in both the front and the back throughout its journey, puncturing Edward's lung in the process. Thankfully, it managed not to hit any other major organs or arteries. They were able to mend the hole in his lung and had to wire his ribs into place so they would heal properly. They were cleanly broken in both the front and the back. He was currently in a medically induced coma, which he would remain in for at least forty eight hours to allow his lungs and ribs to begin to heal before he was revived. The doctor maintained that he should make a full recovery within the next three to six months.

Everyone in the room breathed out a collective sigh of relief. Bella and Esme appeared to literally melt in their chairs as the tension they had held in their bodies the entire time Edward was in surgery finally cut loose. They smiled comfortingly at one another and hugged before everyone else took turns hugging them and telling them that they knew all along that Edward would be fine. I sent up a silent prayer of thanks that my sister didn't suffer the loss of yet another person in her life that she loved so dearly, not to mention the loss of my best friend.

After a few more minutes, we all moved back into the waiting area for Edward to be released from recovery. We hoped that a few of us could see him.

The exhaustion of the horrible day finally overtook Bella. Within minutes of sitting back down, she slumped against my side and passed out.

She hadn't been sleeping long when the mumbling began. We all glanced occasionally, but Bella was a sleep talker, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to mumble in her sleep. It didn't cause us any alarm at first, but when she began to flail her arms and whimper into my side, all eyes in the room were cast upon her. It lasted a few minutes before she finally stopped. We all took a breath of relief, settling back into our seats, reading our magazines and watching CNN on the TV in the waiting room with dulled interest.

The ease of the room only lasted another fifteen minutes before Bella thrashed against me. She screamed Edward's name at the top of her lungs as she began to pummel me with her fists, yelling about guns, bullets, and murderers. Jasper rushed to my side. He grabbed her arms to restrain her a bit, as I called her name, trying to get her to wake up.

When Jasper gripped her arms in his hands, she began to thrash harder, elbowing him in the nose before standing up. She released a terrified scream as her eyes popped open. Her eyes scanned the room full of worried faces as her scream abruptly stopped. She stood in front of us with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, shivering and panting with wide eyes before they filled with fat tears that began to roll down her cheeks.

"Oh God," she mumbled in a quiet state of shock. "It all really happened. Edward really did get shot and I really killed Trager? Oh God, I was hoping it was all a nightmare."

It was then that her eyes fell to the floor. Jasper was still kneeling with a cloth to his nose soaked in blood as Alice crouched next to him. Bella gasped as her hands flew to her mouth. She shook her head again in contrition before dropping to her knee next to them.

"Oh, Japer! Oh God, Jasper, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Jasper nodded as much as he could, casting her a forgiving look. She knelt next to him with her hand on his arm, shaking her head in frustration with everything going on around her. Carlisle knelt next to her, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"It's okay, Bella, it was an accident. If you didn't walk away from this with some signs of mental duress, then I would be more worried about you than I already am. After everything you have been through today, this is definitely not out of the ordinary. It will be okay, sweetheart. Come on; let's go get you cleaned up a little bit. I'll look into getting you a sedative to help you rest better."

Bella's eyes shot up to Carlisle's as her face shook frantically in disagreement. "No. Carlisle, please...I want to see Edward when he comes out of recovery. Even if he's still in a coma state, I want to see him. I want him to hear my voice. I promise, after I see him I'll let you give me whatever you want, but not until afterwards okay?"

Carlisle sighed, leading her out of the waiting room to go get cleaned up.

As soon as she was out of sight, I heard a foreign sounding whimper leave my chest. My elbows rested on my knees and my face fell into my hands, scrubbing it roughly. I felt warm, soft hands on my back, rubbing small circles. They moved up through the hair at the nape of my neck before I heard my sweet Rosalie whispering in my ear.

"She'll be okay, Emmett. It'll take a little while, but she'll be okay. I love you so much, you know that? You are an amazing man and a wonderful, caring brother. That makes me love you even more."

I sighed. I lifted my head, reaching my hands to wrap them around her body. I rested my weary body next to hers, drawing strength from her love.

**BPOV**

Carlisle led me down the hallway toward the locker room, guiding me toward my locker. He asked for my combination, pulling out my spare scrubs and my bag of travel toiletries that I kept at the hospital in the event of extra long shifts.

I sat watching in a numbed state before I felt my stomach clench. I jumped up and ran into one of the toilet stalls as my stomach emptied its meager contents and recently ingested Starbucks coffee into the bowl with powerful force. I felt someone reach up to pull my hair back for me, holding it as I heaved several more times before my stomach ceased to spasm. I sat up to rest my head against the wall of the stall, wiping my arm across my face with a groan.

"You okay there, Bella?" Carlisle asked kindly as he knelt next to me.

I nodded weakly, reaching to flush the toilet before accepting Carlisle's offered hand, assisting me to stand again.

He continued to hold my hand as he led me toward the shower rooms, grabbing a towel off the shelves and getting my personal items settled in a shower stall. Once I was all settled, he left me to undress and shower alone, saying he was going to go take over Jasper's care and send Alice and Rose in to check on me in a few minutes.

I stepped into the dressing area, dropping my dirty clothes to the floor before stepping through the second curtain that cordoned off the shower area. I turned on the water in too much of a zombie state to even care that the initial blast of water was ice cold. I mechanically wet my hair, pouring the shampoo into my hands, before running them through the thick mop of hair, scrubbing my scalp roughly with my nails. The sting of my nails against my scalp was disturbingly comforting. I continued a few seconds longer than I should have. Eventually, I forced myself to stop and rinse the suds away before filling my hands with conditioner, slicking it over the soaked strands of hair.

I picked up the tiny bar of soap and began to run it over my body to wash away the grime and dirt of this horrible day. Once again, I scrubbed my flesh with too much vigor, enjoying the slight tingle of my reddening skin.

I was halfway through scrubbing myself thoroughly for a second time when I froze mid swipe. The images began to flash in front of my eyes again as my mind forced me to relive the experience once again. I fell against the wall of the shower, resting my forehead against the cold yellow tile as I began to once again sob uncontrollably.

It all played again in slow motion. Trager pulling the gun out of his boot, my throat straining as I screamed, the flash of the barrel as his gun discharged, followed by the flash from the gun in my hand as I reacted trying to stop him from hurting anyone.

I remembered with dreadful clarity the feel of my head hitting the concrete floor as I fell backwards from the force of the shot, as five other loud pops filled the air, leaning up just in time to see Edward collapse where he stood and Trager lying on the floor.

I remembered the sensation of ripping off the body armor to see Edward's angel's kiss on his chest as I struggled to re-inflate his collapsed lung and stop the bleeding.

The yanking sensation once again grabbed hold of my heart as I recalled watching them wheel Edward off the surgery, followed by the nausea from walking over to see Trager's lifeless face, his dead eyes open and unseeing.

I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there when I felt two hot hands grab my arms and a warm towel wrap around my body. I stumbled, shuffling my feet as Alice and Rose led me out of the shower and into the locker room. They helped me dry off and dress, combing my hair gently. All the while, both kept telling me it would all be okay.

I nodded absently while my mind screamed in response. _How the hell do you know? How will any of this be okay? My boyfriend nearly died and I killed someone. How will any of this ever be okay?_

After I was dressed, they both led me gingerly back to the waiting area. As we entered, Esme stood up, crossing over to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder in a motherly gesture that warmed me slightly deep in the core of my chest. As long as I lived, I would never be able to thank anybody here with me enough for all they had done for me, but especially Esme for providing the motherly support I so desperately needed.

I hadn't been sitting with Esme more than ten minutes or so when a nurse walked into the waiting area, calling for the family of Edward Masen. Esme and I shot up, rushing to stand in front of her. Carlisle joined us from his place by Jasper, who appeared to be doing all right. To my relief, he was not sporting a broken nose.

The nurse smiled at Esme and Carlisle, barely acknowledging me, not that I gave a shit.

"Mr. Masen has been released from recovery and is now in his bed in the ICU. Normally he would not be allowed guests until visiting hours in the morning, but since he's the son of the chief, we are of course making exceptions. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, please follow me...you will be the only ones allowed in until morning."

I let out an involuntary squeak a second before Esme's arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"No, Bella will go with us as well. Not only is she practically his fiancée, but she is also a med student in this hospital. Not to mention the fact that she saved his life. If anybody gets to go back to see Edward, it will be her."

I was looking over at a blurry Esme through a curtain of tears.

She smiled at me, tightening her grip on my shoulder.

I glanced back at the nurse who was looking at me with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. She nodded silently and led us toward Edward's room.

I followed next to Esme, annoyed at the slow leisurely pace at which the nurse was walking. My body willed me to rush to his side, pulling me like a high powered electromagnet toward him with unstoppable force. When we finally reached the doorway, Carlisle stayed back. Esme and I both took a few steps through the door, freezing in place immediately.

Edward was surrounded by tubes, wires, and machinery that monitored his heart rate and regulated his breathing while in his coma state. I could feel my breaths quickening and my heart pounding as I began to hyperventilate.

It was only a couple of months ago that I stood in this very hospital, just a few rooms down, with Edward at my side, watching Andy in a similar state. I remembered Edward promising that he and the boys would always come home to me, they would stay safe, and then we had shared our first kiss as two consenting adults. The memories raged through me like bittersweet fire. Eventually, I heard Carlisle and Esme speaking to me through my haze of labored breath and haunting memories.

I was starting to feel dizzy, when all of a sudden the world came into focus again as the realization hit me that Edward needed me now more than ever. A few seconds later, I managed to regulate my breathing and slow my heart. As soon as I was under control, I left Esme's side to dash to Edward's bed, grabbing his hand with mine. I leaned over the tubes and wires to kiss him gently on the side of his mouth opposite of where the ventilator tube was positioned. I rested my forehead to his as I rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand.

The last several hours I had been lost in a sea of panic and trauma. Being by his side, feeling his hand in mine felt soothing. Knowing that the coma he was in was medically induced. Knowing that once they removed the heavy sedative keeping him under so he could heal, he would be opening those beautiful green eyes. All of those factors combined, made me determined that I would be the first face he saw. For the first time since he left my side, I began to understand what everyone was saying. I finally, truly believed that everything would be okay.

I reached up to run my hand through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with my nails.

"I love you, Edward. According to your surgeon, you are going to be just fine. He said you'd be back up to one hundred percent in three to six months, baby. So right now, I just want you to rest and know that I love you. When you wake up, I promise I'll be sitting right here next to you. You're in ICU right now. They don't allow overnight guests. Matter of fact, Carlisle's the only reason I'm getting to see you now, but you can just bet that when they bring you out, I will be here one way or another, okay sweetheart? You've done well, baby, just a little more to go okay?"

I looked over at the doorway where Carlisle and Esme stood with their arms around one another, looking at us with soft watery smiles. I nodded toward Edward, gesturing for them to come in and talk to him. They slowly made their way over, touching him comfortingly. They spoke to him softly, telling him that he would be fine and just to concentrate on healing.

After a few minutes, the nurse came back in saying that it was time for us to leave. Esme and Carlisle gave Edward one last kiss before leaving me alone for a moment with Edward before I had to leave. I reached over again, running my hand through his hair. I kissed his forehead before leaning down by his ear so the nurse wouldn't hear what I had to say.

"I love you, Edward Anthony. You just so you know, you won't be getting any sponge baths by any of the hot nurses around here if I have anything to say about it. I am the only one who gets to see little Eddie...got that?"

I chuckled and kissed under his ear as his heart rate elevated slightly. I looked up as the nurse shot me a funny look of disapproval. I shrugged before leaning back down.

"Get some good rest, my love. I will be back first thing for ICU visiting hours in the morning."

I stood back up and walked out of the room, feeling more focused and centered than I had all day. I walked into the waiting room with my head held high and my shoulders back. I gave everyone a half smile of apology.

Everyone smiled back brightly. Emmett walked over and enveloped me in a big hug. I squeezed back with all the might I could muster.

Everyone tried to convince me to go back to one of their places to get some rest and come back in the morning, but I adamantly refused. Esme also wanted to stay, so she and Carlisle settled with me into the surgery waiting room with the big pink chairs that reclined back into nearly a prone state.

Carlisle disappeared, returning shortly after with a pill and a glass of water.

I glanced up questioningly at him.

He smiled as he told me it was the sedative I had promised to take.

I groaned quietly. I took it warily, gulping down the whole glass of water, before settling down under the thin hospital blanket, trying to rest. As the sounds of the hospital bustling around me began to fade, I drifted off into a dark quiet slumber thanks to the magic pill Carlisle had given me.

o~O~o

I was still in a deep heavy sleep thanks to the powerful sedative Carlisle had given me sometime after midnight, when I heard Esme calling my name and stroking my arm gently. My eyelids felt as though they were lined with lead as I tried to open them.

Once they finally slid open a slit, Esme reminded me that we could go see Edward now. My eyes immediately popped wide open all as I sat up quickly, throwing my hand to my head at the dizzying rush of the lingering sedative mixed with my hurried ascent.

Esme chuckled at me as she waited for me to regain my equilibrium. Once I was steadied, she reached a hand out to assist me out of the chair. She held my hand as we made our way back toward Edward's room.

As we walked in, I noticed a new nurse had taken over. She looked over at us and smiled brightly before returning her focus to Edward's IV. She crossed the room to us when she was done.

"Hi, I'm Donna, Mr. Masen's nurse for the next ten hours or so. I assume you are Mrs. Cullen and Dr. Swan right?"

We nodded and she smiled even brighter. "Well, considering your status in the hospital and the fact that you saved his life, I fully intend to pay absolutely no attention to the clock while in the room for the rest of my shift. I won't even begin to notice when visiting hours begin or end today," she said with a wink. "If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask."

I smiled appreciatively and nodded. "Thank you so much, Donna. You are an angel."

She smiled back and shook her head. "Well, I'm pretty sure with the rumors going on around here, that title belongs to you Dr. Swan, but thank you." She walked to the bed tray, collecting a few supplies before walking out of the room with a smile and a nod.

Esme sat with us for an hour before she finally stretched and stated that since I could stay with Edward all day that she was going to go home to get a shower and a nap. She said would be back in time for the next official visitor's time. I nodded and thanked her before watching her disappear into the hallway.

I spent the next few hours brushing my hand across one part of Edward's body at all times, letting him know I was there. I occasionally talked to him, but not wanting to talk too much for fear I might actually be interrupting some much needed rest. It didn't escape my notice, however, that when I did speak his heart rate seemed to increase. When I ran my fingers through his hair, it would decrease into a soft steady cadence that reminded me of his breathing when he slept.

I busied myself with studying the paper chart hooked to the end of his bed; acquainting myself with the procedures and medications he had been given. Thankfully, the charts were kept both on the computer database and also on the paper chart in his room. The paper chart was updated ever four hours, so I was nearly up to date on all that had happened to him since he was brought back after he left the ER waiting area.

One time when Donna came in to check on him, she moved back his covers to check his bandages and check his wounds. When she removed the large gauze pad on his chest, I gasped. He had a large incision that wrapped from his sternum around his side, held together by staples just below the angel kiss on his chest. All around the incision, his chest was a rainbow of colors from the extensive bruising between the injury itself and the invasiveness of the surgery. It looked raw and painful, but what was more amazing to me than anything was the appearance of the angel's kiss itself. Normally it stood out as a light brown on his pale skin. It would always darken a shade or two darker than the rest of his chest when he would tan, but with the dark mottling of his flesh under his skin, the kiss appeared to glow nearly white on a sea of purple and blue.

I stared at the kiss as she began to prepare the new bandage to replace over the wound. I remembered back to the day I saw the little birthmark for the first time and heard the story.

_It was the first beach trip after moving to Chicago. I was still pretty shy around the guys. It was June and they insisted that I had to go experience the beach on Lake Michigan first hand. I dressed in my purple one piece swimsuit that always made me feel ridiculous as it made my flat chest and lack of curves stand out, or in my case lay iron board flat, for the world to notice._

_I threw on a t-shirt and shorts, grabbing my bag full of books, sunscreen, a beach towel, and my walkman CD player before turning to go find the boys. I watched my feet intently as I walked down the hallway toward the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to Emmett. When I finally did glance up, I was greeted with the sight of a room full of intensely attractive guys, all looking at me strangely, making me feel uncomfortable and awkward._

_I had only known them all for less than four months. While they were all nice enough, it was still just strange to be surrounded by so many guys all the time. The only guys I ever spent much time around were Emmett and Dad. My mom had insisted that I be a girly girl and I never really had a problem with that. I loved going shopping with my mom and doing makeovers, gravitating to mostly girl friends at school. Yeah, I had my more butch hobbies like shooting with Dad and survived well amongst the local cops who would hang out on the range. This was so different though; these weren't middle aged balding guys with beer bellies. No, these were unbearably attractive college age guys who smelled even better than they looked and that was without even seeing any of them shirtless. Lord help me, when we got to the beach where they would be running around in swim trunks! I hadn't even kissed a guy yet, much less seen shirtless guys who weren't blood relations!_

_We all piled down into the lobby, hailing a couple of cabs for everyone to squeeze into, and rode to the beach. When we got there, we encountered a sea of people stretched out along the tan sandy shore. We finally found a stretch not covered in brightly toned beach towels and settled in._

_After my towel was in place and I was seated on it, I took the time to glance around the beach. I felt my self esteem drop even lower when I saw we were completely surrounded by bikini clad golden goddesses with large designer sunglasses and confident, almost arrogant expressions. I sighed deeply before reaching into my bag to drag out my dog eared copy of Jane Eyre and my walkman, laying them on top of the towel and preparing to stretch out with my shirt and shorts still on._

_As soon as we had settled, the boys had all disappeared toward the water's edge. When a velvety voice drifted over the air from my left, I jumped in surprise. I looked that direction to see that two towels over sat a shirtless Edward, his pale sculpted chest practically shimmering in the sunlight thanks to the freshly applied suntan lotion. I felt my mouth go dry. My lungs refused to respond to my orders to inhale. I just stared blankly until he chuckled and moved closer to me with his crooked smile. I struggled to swallow past the lump in my throat as he settled on the towel next to me._

"_I asked if you were really going to keep that shirt and shorts on all day, or if you were going to actually absorb a few of these great rays today."_

_I felt myself blushing crimson as I glanced down at the stretched out Lincoln High School Phys Ed uniform shirt and scraggly cut off shorts. With a sigh, I stood up, sliding the shorts off before tossing the t-shirt over my head. I tossed them both in the bag before settling back on the towel. _

_I reached immediately for the sunscreen, applying it to my legs, arms, face, and chest before I could get scorched lobster red as was typical for me. When I stopped, Edward was looking at me funny. I hid behind my curtain of hair as I tried to reach behind me to get the section of my upper back not covered by the suit and failing miserably._

_Edward cleared his throat next to me before stumbling over his words in his offer to help me. I blushed red hot as I nodded insecurely. My heart hammered in my chest as his big strong hands caressed my back and my neck as he massaged the lotion into my skin for several seconds before finally pulling away announcing he was done and picking up my book._

"_Jane Eyre, huh? My Aunt loves this book. I personally didn't think it was all that amazing when I read it at her request." He shrugged and shot me the crooked smile again that made my stomach twitch. "Must be a girl thing."_

_I smiled shyly at him before taking my beloved book back, shrugging. "Must be."_

_I expected him to get up and leave after that, but he didn't. He sat next to me for the next hour, making small talk and asking me about my life back in Lincoln. We talked about my friend, my hobbies, and my favorite subjects at school._

_While his handsome face and amazing body were still intimidating, I found myself really enjoying talking to him. It was easy and comfortable. He made me smile several times throughout our talk._

_I asked him a few shy questions, slowly growing braver as the time went on. Finally, I got brave enough to ask about the kiss shaped mark on his left pec that I had noticed upon my first viewing of his naked chest earlier in the day._

_He looked down with a small chuckle. _

"_It's a birthmark, actually. When I was little, my Mom used to say it was my angel's kiss. She said that when I was born, my guardian angel must have kissed me to welcome me to the world. His magic filtered onto my skin and left a special mark to let me know I was special."_

"_Awe, that's sweet," I blurted involuntarily, leading to him chuckling some more._

"_Yeah, I thought it was so cool when I was a kid, but now I pretty much forget it's even there. God, I haven't even told that story in years..." _

_He trailed off into his own thoughts, looking sad and lonely. I wanted to comfort him, to somehow make him feel better, but I didn't know what to do so I just sat there. Reaching my hand over to rest on his arm gently, I patted a couple of times before I set it back down at my side. I looked over shyly to see him looking back with a matching expression. In that moment, I heard the click of a camera and Emmett's booming laughter._

"_Come on you two! What's the use in being at the beach if you don't go and enjoy the water! You need to go get wet!"_

_Edward laughed and stood up, offering me a hand. I took it shyly as my heart sped. I felt a tingle in my fingers as they touched his. I had noticed the same tingle when he put the lotion on, but dismissed it as the sun and the lotion. I had felt it again when I patted his arm, but it was too serious of a moment to really acknowledge it. This time, however, I couldn't deny that it was just a product of his touch._

_He stared at our hands with a slight frown. As soon as I was on my feet, he dropped my hand. He took a step back before shaking his head and smiling. He held his hand out toward the water in a very gentlemanly fashion, offering to allow me to go first. _

_I smiled and stepped off the towel, yelping at the heat of the sand scorching my bare feet. He laughed as I hopped and hobbled my way to the shoreline, sighing contentedly when my feet hit the cool wet sand along the water's edge._

_Jasper called to Edward from his place in the deeper water away from shore. Edward yelled back before looking at me with a smile and splashing off in the water to join the guys. I stood with my feet in the surf next to Emmett marveling at the perfection that was Edward Masen._

Donna finished with the bandages, returning the covers over his torso. She smiled at me one last time before leaving the room. I scooted closer to Edward, taking his hand, rubbing the back gently.

"You know, seeing your Angel's kiss when I cut open your shirt was probably the most traumatic moment of my life. I knew the second I saw it that it was you. Right now, it's almost glowing on top of your bruises. It looks so amazing...almost like Elizabeth had been right and it really is dosed with some kind of magic."

I moved my hand to his face, caressing his cheekbone gently.

"Seeing it just now made me remember that first trip to the beach. Looking back at the whole thing now, knowing what I know about how you felt about me, I realized, you were feeling this connection between us that day too, weren't you? The looks you gave me, the frown at our hands when you helped me stand up to go to the water. You felt the tingling between our fingers that I always feel when we touch, didn't you? Do you feel it too? Can you feel it now?"

I sighed, pulling back from his face to clutch his hand in both of mine as I leaned down and kissed the back of his hand.

"I can't wait until they take you off of those damn meds so I can see your beautiful green eyes and know beyond all doubt that you are alright. I know what they say. I'm holding onto the fact that you should make a full recovery for dear life, but I don't think I'll really believe it until I see your eyes, and see you smile at me. You concentrate on mending that handsome body of yours that about gave me a heart attack the first time I saw it on the beach seven years ago so you'll be ready for them to wake you up when it's time."

I heard his heart rate pick up on the monitor for a brief moment before it slowed again. I smiled.

"I wish I knew if you were reacting to things I'm saying, or if all of this is just a coincidence. It'd be nice to know if you can hear me or not."

"I'm sorry you're in here. All of this, every bit of it, all ties back to me. This whole thing is my fault. If I hadn't had put together that damn Femme's night to begin with, I never would have met Trager or Trevor to begin with and none of this mess would have happened. Matter of fact, if you hadn't beat him up as justice for what he tried to pull with me; he probably would have gone to jail or died in that warehouse raid that night. My life would suck without you, but sometimes I wonder if you would have been so much better off if I never came into your life."

His heart monitor started going wild. I glanced up in surprise before realizing what I had just said. I jumped up to run my hands through his hair.

"Oh I'm sorry, baby. I didn't really mean that. Not really. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Please calm down, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for as long as you're willing to have me, okay?"

His heart rate slowed down again. I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. I kissed his forehead and leaned down close to his ear.

"I love you, Edward. I miss you. You hurry back to me, okay? I need you here with me. Until they let me in here last night, I was a fucking mess. I was borderline insane, I swear, but all it took was seeing you and suddenly my whole world came back into focus. I knew you needed me and I had to get my shit back together to take care of you. You are my life now, Edward. You are my sun. I'm going to throw feminism back fifty years with this next statement, but I think it's true; my world revolves around you now. That was never as clear as when I realized you needed me and suddenly the pieces of my fractured mental state slid into place and stabilized. I know it's temporary, I almost certainly suffering some mental stress from what happened, but for now, you needing me seems to be taking priority. I love you."

I laid my head down on the bed next to his arm. The next thing I knew, Esme was shaking my shoulder gently, whispering for me to wake up.

I sat up, blinking at the room and at Edward. He seemed to have more color in his cheeks than he had when I fell asleep. I looked toward the window to see it was dark out.

Esme chuckled, massaging my raging neck muscles tenderly as I rolled my neck trying to free the knot in my left trapezius.

"Why don't you go home? Go get a shower and some sleep in your own bed, Bella. They aren't going to take Edward off the coma inducing medications for another twenty four hours. I'll stay with him as long as they'll let me, dear. Go home and rest."

I sighed, my voice wavering as I answered. "I can't, Esme. I can't go sleep in that bed without him, knowing he's here. It was one thing when he was at work while I was working graveyard, but even then, I knew he was going to climb in with me when he got home. I can't sleep there knowing he won't be coming home to me tonight."

Edward's heart rate rose again. I rushed to his side running my hand through his hair to calm him as I spoke to him.

"Edward, love, it's not your fault. I just don't want to leave your side if I don't have to. I'm fine. I want to be here with you."

The heart monitor's beeping slowed slightly, but was still elevated above normal. I sighed.

"Fine, I'll go home, shower, and change, but I will not sleep there all night without you. I'll be back in a couple of hours. You rest and mend, my love."

Edward's heart rate decelerated to normal.

Esme stared at me in awe. "Is he really..?"

She trailed off as I shrugged. "I don't know for sure, but he sure seems to be. I've been answering and talking to him accordingly just in case. I want to believe he is, but there's no way to know for sure," I whispered as I drug my fingers through his hair over and over.

I stayed and talked to Esme a few more minutes before I excused myself to go to our big empty apartment alone. Each step away from the hospital and my Edward was harder than the one before. I slowly trudged my way to the curb where I hailed a cab to take me back to our building to clean up before going back for the night just as I promised. My mind was completely focused on my mental countdown of how many hours before they allow Edward to wake up so I could see those soothing green eyes again.


	31. For The Love of Esme

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Twilight, but I enjoy putting them through the ringer!**

_**Okay, this is an extremely short chapter compared to what I usually post in this story, it's from a never before seen POV. Anyway, hope you enjoy.**_

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**For The Love Of Esme**

**EsmePOV**

Our sweet Bella was so exhausted; she practically had to crawl out of the door and down the hallway. She was so dedicated to my son. I knew beyond all doubt that one day she would break down the last of his barriers and he would make her his wife.

I walked over, running my hands through Edward's wild bronze hair, having as little luck getting it to tame as I had when he was a boy. I felt the tears welling in my eyes as I looked down at my strong, brave son, lying in bed, looking so weak and frail. It was so hard to see him like this.

I hummed as I stroked his hair. "Can you hear me Edward? I love you, my son. We need you to heal and come home to us soon. Okay, dearest? We all need you. Your friends need you, your father and I need you, and most of all, your Bella needs you. She may have been amazingly strong through everything, but she's suffering the consequences now. It's going to take her a long time to get over this. She is going to need you to help her. You are going to need each other, so you hurry up and focus on mending your body so you can help mend the love of your life's soul."

I smiled as his heart rate sped slightly. I brushed my hands across his cheeks comfortingly. "She'll be okay, honey. Don't you worry about that...your Bella is very strong, but even the strongest person needs their loved ones to lean on, especially their soul mates. You are half of what makes her whole, son. She needs that half to fully heal. I have no doubt that you will be doing that as soon as you can."

I began to hum again as I ran my hands up and down his arms. I walked to the sink to grab a wash cloth, wetting it with cool water, and running more cold water into a basin before crossing again to his bedside. I had spent many a night, sitting at Edward's bedside, blotting his face with cool compresses during his childhood, dating back to before he came into my permanent care. Even when he didn't have a fever, he would ask me if I could help him feel better by 'patting his face with the cold washcloth'. I would always agree and sit for countless hours, happy to be able to provide some form of comfort when he felt so poorly.

I settled on the edge of the bed, bringing the tray closer to sit the basin on. I began pressing the cool cloth to his face as I told him stories about my childhood, growing up with Elizabeth. I told him stories I had never shared with him before.

I told him about how Carlisle and I nearly missed out on each other because I had been too busy running away from my childhood. I had been desperate not to become some sad woman, trapped in a marriage she didn't really want anymore, because she had no way of supporting herself as Liz and I watched our mother do.

I was determined to have a career and be self sufficient. I continually pushed Carlisle away as he tried so consistently to break down my walls and get me to admit how much I truly did love him. We were children ourselves, not more than twenty two, when he finally broke through. He got me to agree to marry him after three years of tirelessly pursuing me as we both worked our way through college.

We married, still keeping our paths focused on our careers. We both wanted a family, but we always said that children could wait. He needed to complete medical school and his residency. I wanted to get my masters and get a few years in with a respected design firm before I broke out on my own and went independent.

The same year that I finally agreed to marry Carlisle, Liz had joined me at college. She tagged along with us most of the time. It was thanks to her tag along tendencies, that one night about five months before our wedding, she met Carlisle's roommate and best friend Edward and the rest was history.

Edward and Liz married midway through Liz's sophomore year of college. Liz dropped out and became the perfect corporate wife as Ed blazed his way through the ranks at the top rated law firm in Chicago. They were happy and in love. Before we knew it, we were all celebrating Edward Jr.'s birth.

I had just finished up a very large job with an extremely prestigious client, making many important connections. My success led me to believe that perhaps I was ready to break out on my own and start my own firm. Carlisle had just finished his last year of residency and had chosen to take on a fellowship. We were both so proud of our accomplishments, feeling that our lives were so fulfilled.

We walked into Ed and Liz's apartment, feeling on top of the world and completely satisfied with our lives...until we saw sweet little Edward Anthony Masen Jr.'s face.

Suddenly, our whole world shifted on axis. As I held that sweet baby boy in my arms, I realized that there was a big hole in our lives. We had met almost all of our professional goals, in my heart I knew it was time to move on with our personal goals.

We left their apartment that night with heavy hearts. The second the door closed on the car, we both looked at each other and announced we were ready to have a baby. I jumped across the car to hug Carlisle's neck squealing in delight. Of course, we rushed home to begin trying right away.

It was all fun and games at first, but as the months passed on with no good news, my heart began to grow more and more depressed. We continued trying on our own for nearly two years before we approached my doctor about the issue, beginning the endless series of emotionally draining testing.

Two months later, we sat in the office of my doctor. Carlisle held my weeping frame in his arms, as the doctor told us that the chances that we would conceive on our own were very, very slim.

Years passed as we worked to exhaust every possible treatment option available with no luck. Edward continued to grow into the sweetest, most kind hearted little boy you have ever met. Whatever love and devotion Carlisle and I had in our hearts that we could not devote to our own child, we bestowed instead upon our precious nephew. All along though, we never gave up hope, continuing to try for a child of our own.

Nine years after our attempts began, the last vestiges of hope were ripped from us when it was discovered I had a benign tumor growing on my uterus. Between that, the endometriosis that plagued my existence and the high probability that a cancerous tumor could eventually arise considering my family history, the doctors pushed me to have a hysterectomy. When they removed that bit of me that was designed to allow a woman to bear a child from my body, I felt like they removed the last bit of what made me a woman.

I fell into a deep depression. I pushed everyone away from me, most of all my poor Carlisle, as I mourned for the loss of a child that would never be and the part of me that in my mind made me a woman. I felt less of a person and most of all, completely hopeless. I had the career, the husband, the home, the money, but what I wanted most in the world, I would never have.

In addition to all of this, Ed was diagnosed that fall with cancer. It was already highly progressed and most definitely terminal. Only a few short months later, he passed away, leaving Edward Jr. and Liz behind.

Liz pulled away from everyone, barricading Edward and herself in their home. I tried to be there to help them, but my efforts were pushed away as she would close her door in my face time and time again. Once again, I was left feeling helpless as my sister disappeared inside herself, taking my nephew with her and I was powerless to stop it.

Around the time of Ed's death, Carlisle finally convinced me to go into counseling. I struggled with my issues of feeling less of a woman. I struggled with my resentments against the universe in general for the raw deal I had been dealt, in addition to the pain of my Ed's loss and my sister's subsequent withdrawal from everyone. It was a slow process. I was growing frustrated more and more each day.

Carlisle began to hint at adoption, but that only made me angrier. I began to follow Liz's example. I started refusing to go out and do anything besides work and sleep. I was giving up on everything.

One day, Carlisle got sick of it. He demanded I get dressed and go out with him for the day. He took me to the Art Institute, my favorite place in all of Chicago. He followed me quietly as I made my way through the halls filled with color and life. I would look over occasionally and see him with his eyes closed and his head down, appearing to pray as we walked from room to room. The longer we walked, the more I saw the impact my actions were having on my poor sweet husband who had done nothing to deserve any of this, the guiltier I felt. I knew I needed to do something, but I had no idea what or how.

As we made our way home that day, for the first time in months, I reached across the console of the car and initiated hand holding. We walked up the front steps, still hand in hand. We walked in the front door to find to our utter shock, Edward sitting in the living room, crying, clutching his tiny suitcase to his chest.

Francesca, our maid at the time, rushed up to us, explaining how Liz had dropped him off an hour before with no explanation and left. It was only after she left that Edward told her that he didn't think Liz was coming back.

Before Francesca had even finished the first sentence of her story, I had crossed the room. I pulled Edward into my arms, running my hand through is hair. I held him close, trying to comfort him. It broke my heart to see how broken my sweet nephew had become.

Over the next several weeks, Carlisle and I struggled with helping Edward settle into our home. I redecorated his room and bought all new furniture for him. He held little interest in the process, quietly thanking me, and not willing to provide any opinions.

Slowly he began to open up about life with Liz. I was shocked to know that she had taken such poor care of him.

Anger flared in me more bright and hot than any I had ever known before. How dare she take such a gift for granted? Here Carlisle and I had struggled for years to have a child that would never come, meanwhile, she had the most wonderful son any woman could ask for, and she neglected him in deference to burying herself in bottles of alcohol.

Life was so unfair, but I knew immediately that I would make it all up to him. I loved that little boy more than life itself. Where his mother failed to be what he needed, I would do my best to fill those shoes.

That day I stopped being Edward's aunt and started being his mother. While the path to that place was painful and difficult, I wouldn't trade my son for anything.

I walked to the sink to get a fresh basin of cool water, I returned to his bedside to apply the compresses to his face, neck, and arms. It felt good to talk to him, even if he couldn't respond. I had to hope he could hear me. Occasionally, his heart rate monitor would beep more quickly and then fade back to a regular pace. It hadn't failed my notice that this usually happened when I would share a particularly emotional memory about Liz and Ed. I couldn't resist the hope that Bella was right and he could hear us.

I wasn't sure how long I had been there when I heard the door open behind me. I turned to see a freshly showered, yet still completely exhausted Bella shuffle back into the room. The dark circles under her eyes gave her the appearance of a worked over prize fighter, rather than the peaceful, although quite resourceful doctor that she actually was. I had seen the footage of the confrontation in the ER. I was shocked to see how Bella had reacted in the moment. If she hadn't taken the actions that she had, I was almost certain that more than just the gunman and Edward would have been left injured or dead.

She smiled and hugged me before reaching down to run her fingers across Edward's forehead. Immediately, his heart rate picked up. I smiled as she leaned down and kissed his forehead, whispering that yes, she was there and she would stay there until they kicked her out.

Donna had told me the last time she came in that her shift was ending in about half an hour. After that, it would depend on the next nurse on duty whether or not they would be enforcing the visiting hours rule. I hoped, for my son's sake, that he would have another understanding nurse who would see the merits of having a doctor staying in the room, especially after witnessing Edward's heart rate fall into a nice steady cadence that was a bit lower than it had been the whole time Bella had been away. It was obvious to even myself, who had no medical knowledge whatsoever, that Edward was resting better with Bella nearby.

Bella and I sat and chatted as she stroked Edward's hair. I watched on, grateful that my son had such a wonderful relationship in his life. For a long time, I feared that his mother's actions had ruined his chances at ever finding true happiness, but Bella always held a special place in his heart. I knew early on that it would be just a matter of time before she managed to break down all of his barriers, just as Carlisle had done to mine.

It was a quarter till ten when the next nurse walked into the room, giving both Bella and I curious glances as she set about her task of taking Edward's vitals and checking the activity on his heart monitor. She asked a few questions about the accelerations and how long we had been in the room. She seemed to put together Edward's steady lower rhythm with Bella's arrival and nodded to herself.

She turned to us shortly afterward, explaining that since Bella was a doctor, she didn't mind if she stayed in Edward's room for the night, but that she felt it best if only Bella stayed.

Bella glanced at me apologetically.

I shook my head at her with a smile.

"No sweetheart, I was praying that they would let you stay. He needs you. You're good for him any time, but you seem to be especially good for him now. He's more at peace when you're around, you can tell. I'm going to go home and get some rest. I'll be back up here first thing in the morning."

I crossed the room, hugging her around the shoulders.

"Just please do me a favor. Try to get some rest. You know he'll get over stressed if he thinks you didn't take care of yourself."

She nodded and thanked me. I kissed Edward's forehead once more before I left the room, making my way to Carlisle's office.

He was sitting at his desk with his hands buried in his graying blonde hair. He looked exhausted. I could tell he was hiding from his concerns for Edward behind his work.

When I walked in, he looked up with a tired smile. "Hello, my beautiful wife. I assume you just left our son?"

I nodded as he sighed.

"Are they allowing Bella to stay with him tonight?"

I smiled, nodding again. I watched as he ran his hands through his hair followed by another long sigh.

"I'm worried about her. I'm going to call down an order with the nurse for a sedative if she needs it tonight. This is only a temporary reprieve for her from dealing with the trauma of this week. Once Edward is better, it's going to hit her all over again. We're going to have to be ready for that."

It was my turn to sigh this time as I crossed to stand behind him, rubbing his shoulders gently.

"And we will be, but for now we both need to go home and rest. Bella will be watching over Edward. We will do neither one of them any good if we are too exhausted to be there when they need us."

I gently pulled the pen out of his hand, leaving it on his desk. I pulled on his hand to have him follow me.

I led him to the coat rack, grabbing his winter coat off and handing it to him before reaching for the door handle and turning the lock. I motioned for him to lead the way as I shut off the light and closed the door behind us. I took my husband's hand, walking with him toward the parking deck to get in our car and make our way back home.

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_**I had expected for more to happen in this chapter originally, but once I finished typing it, I felt like it should stand on its own. I hope you enjoyed a little bit of insight into Esme's past. Thanks for reading and I look forward to your reviews.**_


	32. Warmth In the Darkness

**Disclaimer: I don't own the original Twilight characters.**

_**Author's Note: This chapter was really hard to write. I'm sure I probably screwed a few things up with some of the medical aspects of this chapter, but I tried to stay as realistic as I could while still advancing my story as I needed to. Hope you guys like it!**_

_**Also big thanks to my validation beta Sassenach Wench.**_

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**Warmth In The Darkness**

**BPOV**

After Esme left, I fell asleep slumped sideways in the small plastic chair with Edward's hand firmly gripped in mine, my head resting on his forearm. The night nurse, Rachel, came in on a regular basis to check his vitals, turning on the light and waking me up every time. I would move out of her way so she could do whatever she needed to do. The second she left, I would return to my original position and drift back off to sleep.

The sun hadn't quite risen fully in the sky when I felt a pair of warm hands on my shoulders. I jumped up to find Carlisle looking down at me in concern.

"Did you sleep like that all night, Bella?"

I groaned as the muscles in my neck and shoulder flinched as I moved to stand up and stretch.

"Yes, the nurse let me stay. There weren't really any other options short of crawling into bed with him, which I definitely wouldn't do in his current condition. It is fine. I'm young. I'll survive."

Carlisle frowned at me before walking across the room to look at the computer screen by Edward's heart monitor. He pushed a few buttons, bringing up a chart that he scrolled through with a few nods and optimistic sounding 'humph's before turning back to me with a smile.

"His vitals look really good, Bella. I can't say for sure, final call will be left to Dr. Howser, but I'd be willing to bet that they will go ahead and stop the propofal drip and allow him to come to on his own sometime today."

I smiled brightly, grabbing Edward's hand in mine. "Really?"

He smiled back, crossing the room to rest his hand on my upper arm.

"Really. I also wanted to talk to you about your internship."

My eyes grew wide, my heart starting to stutter in my chest. With all that had been going on, my internship was the furthest thing from my mind. I had missed so much lately between all of the things going on, had I finally hit my threshold, and would have to repeat the year?

"The board saw the video of your actions in the waiting room. They were very impressed with how well you handled yourself and the cases with the limited resources you had. They have decided to give you the better part of the week to recuperate without having to make up the time. On Wednesday, they want you to undergo a psychiatric review to make sure you are stable enough to practice. If the review goes well, you will return to the floor Thursday morning."

I managed to slow my heart rate some, but there was something that did not escape my notice. "And if the review goes poorly?"

Carlisle sighed, running his hands through his hair...a gesture I had learned to recognize as a sign he is either frustrated or worried.

"Don't worry about that right now, Bella. We will cross that road when and if we come to it. Right now, just focus on getting some rest and relaxing. You have had an incredibly intense couple of days. It is vital that once Edward is more stable and you've spent a little time with him that you go home and get some rest."

I began to shake my head.

Carlisle gripped both of my shoulders in his hands. "This is not a request, Bella. I'm sure Edward will agree with me once he's been awake and been able to spend some time with you. You don't have to go home, but you must go somewhere, Emmett's, Alice's, even to our house. It doesn't matter where, it just matters that you get out of this place and get some good recuperative rest."

I grunted, crossing my arms.

He smiled and shook his head. "You and my son, the two of you are like two peas in a pod sometimes. The both of you are so stubborn, but trust me; I can give both of you a run for your money. I pretty much run this place, so I can guarantee that in the end, I will win."

I chuckled a little, unable to resist smiling for his benefit. He smiled back and patted my arm comfortingly. He told me to take it easy and that he would be back later to check on us before turning to leave. He had nearly made it to the door before he stopped, turning back to me.

"Bella, I just want you to know that we're all here for you if you need us. It's highly likely that you haven't seen the end of the side effects of what you endured over the past few days. If you have any issues at all, please don't hesitate to call Esme or myself."

I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat and nodded numbly. "Th..thank you, Carlisle. I'll remember that."

He nodded back with another small smile before breezing out of the room.

I looked around sleepily at the room and then looked up at Edward's face. I brushed my hand gently across his chin, bending down to kiss his forehead.

"Did you hear that, sweetheart? Your Dad says that they will probably let you wake up today. I can't wait to see those beautiful green eyes. I love you."

When visiting hours came again, Esme stepped into the room, telling me that my brother and our friends were in the waiting room and would like to see me. She stayed with Edward as I went down to see them all to let them know I was okay.

I had only made it halfway down the hallway toward the waiting area when Emmett spotted me; He rushed up to me, pulling me into a bear hug that knocked my breath out of my chest.

"Geez, you look tired, kiddo. You really need to go get some rest! Maybe tonight you can come stay at the old apartment with Rose and me. You could get some sleep."

I smiled up at him weakly, "We'll see, Em...maybe."

To my surprise, I turned to see Tanya and Elizabeth were also sitting there with the rest of the group. As soon as I locked eyes with them, they stood up and rushed to my side, pulling me into hugs.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Elizabeth asked, pushing my hair back from my face.

I nodded, trying my best to smile at her.

Once Elizabeth released me, Tanya pulled me into a bone crushing hug, grabbing my hand to sit next to her on the plastic chairs.

"Bella, in all the insanity, I never got a chance to thank you for everything that you did in there. You saved us all. I honestly believe we would all be dead if you hadn't taken care of us and fought him the way that you did. You were amazing! I don't even begin to know how to thank you."

I nodded numbly with a fake smile as she continued to ramble on, mumbling an occasional 'You're Welcome.' I was passed around the rest of the group with hugs, receiving many offers of help if I need it. All I could think about was how desperate I was to get back to Edward's side. Esme said that when I was near him he was more at peace, but to be honest, that was a two way exchange. The longer I was away from him, the more anxious I felt as well.

After a respectable amount of time with our friends and family in the waiting room, I returned to Edward's side with Elizabeth trailing behind me. Esme looked up with a sad smile when she saw Elizabeth come in behind me. I reached my hand out to grab Edward's, squeezing it longingly, as Elizabeth crossed to Esme.

They engaged in an awkward embrace, whispering to one another. Esme looked back at Edward with a clouded expression, before smiling weakly at me and leaving the room.

Elizabeth crossed to Edward's bedside, running her fingers through his hair. While it was a motion both Esme and I engaged in on a regular basis, the act seemed awkward and unnatural when Elizabeth did it. She spoke softly to him for a few minutes before an awkward silence filled the room. She finally mentioned leaving to allow him to rest before disappearing through the doorway once more.

The shift change came at ten o'clock. I cringed when I saw that the bitchy nurse from the first night was back. She shot me a sour expression, opening her mouth to speak just as Dr. Howser and Carlisle came into the room. Her expression immediately shifted to a neutral attitude.

The doctor went over his chart, discussing with Carlisle and examining the computer with his recorded stats. He kept looking over his shoulder at me occasionally while Carlisle was speaking. When they were finished, he crossed to the nurse, giving her a few directions in a low voice. Then, he turned back to me with a wide smile.

"Dr. Swan, I'm so glad to see you are still faring quite well. I have given the orders to remove the propofol drip from his IV. It should be working its way out of his system in the next couple of hours, in which case he will wake on his own. As you know, typically we don't induce a coma except for head trauma type cases, but with the extent of damage to his ribs and the punctured lung, we thought it necessary to keep him as still as possible for the first forty eight hours. Even though he's not supposed to be able to sense anything under propofol, his vitals appear to be reacting to your presence and your voice. It may be a fluke or it may be legitimate, but I'd really like you to stay close in case it is the latter. When he awakes, please do your best to keep him as still and calm as possible. The nurses have orders to page me immediately."

I nodded, tears welling in my eyes. In a few short hours, I would be seeing my Edward's beautiful green eyes.

"Thank you, doctor."

He smiled and tapped my shoulder as Carlisle escorted him out, casting me a wink over his shoulder. Esme came back in soon after they left to sit with me. We both kept a steady watch on Edward for any signs of him coming around, as the clock on the wall announced the passing of each second with a loud droning tick.

**EPOV**

Everything was dark. I lay in a dreamless peaceful sleep. I could feel no pain. I floated in the dark numbness, occasionally hearing voices that almost reminded me of the teacher from Charlie Brown. I could tell it was a person speaking, could make out the gentle rise and fall of the inflection they used while speaking, but the words didn't make sense.

I drifted away again, no longer hearing or feeling anything as my tired body drifted completely away in sleep.

I don't know how long I had been away from consciousness when I felt her the first time. Her warm hand caressed my arm and her lips brushed the side of my mouth, sending the tingles of her essence straight to my chest, warming me up. I still felt no pain, but I was no longer completely numb either.

I felt her fingers scratch along my scalp, warming me more. She began to speak and while she still sounded like she was far, far away, I could hear her and understand her. Oh God, how I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. I vowed that the second I could wake up and see her and talk to her, I was going to tell her exactly how much I loved her, forever.

Then her touch was gone. I wanted it back. I heard voices again. I knew they belonged to my parents. Once again, the meaning of their words were lost to me, but the fact that they were there was still a comfort.

I longed for my Bella's touch again. After what seemed like forever, the numbness was replaced with the hum of her touch, as her hands once again roamed my hair and her lips brushed my forehead. I still wasn't completely convinced yet that she wasn't an angel. Who else but an angel could cut through the numbness?

She left again, but promised to return as soon as she could. I floated in the darkness with no sense of time. I felt as though I was somehow restless deep inside. I couldn't really relax, like I somehow knew I was supposed to. I couldn't think, or see, or really even hear, but somehow I knew my world wasn't right.

Then I felt her again, heard her beautiful voice at my side, and suddenly the world fell into place again. The restlessness inside me stilled as I floated happily in the darkness with the warmth of her presence keeping me safe.

I heard her voice break through the darkness as she told me about the angel's kiss on my chest. She told me how she couldn't help but remember the first day she had seen it and our interactions. She asked if I could feel her.

I wanted to scream that yes, I could. I wanted to beg her not to leave my side, to tell her that her touch was the only thing keeping me sane in the dark foggy world of my mind. My thoughts were muddled, but even through the haze, my heart longed to tell her that I had always loved her.

She continued to talk as my mind struggled trying to force my lips open.

There was an annoying beeping in the room, like an alarm clock that nobody was bothering to shut off. When it got louder, she started talking about how she wished she knew if I could hear her or not. I felt like crying, wanting to tell her I could, but I was locked inside my body. The only thing crossing the expanse of the darkness was her, and her alone.

Then I heard her voice again, "I'm sorry you're in here. All of this, every bit of it, all ties back to me. This whole thing is my fault. If I hadn't had put together that damn Femme's night to begin with, I never would have met Trager or Trevor and none of this mess would have happened. Matter of fact, if you hadn't beat him up as justice for what he tried to pull with me; he probably would have gone to jail or died in that warehouse raid that night. My life would suck without you, but sometimes I wonder if you would have been so much better off if I never came into your life."

I started to panic. I needed to be able to tell her that my life wouldn't be worth living without her in it. I would trade all of the gun shot wounds and pain in the world if it meant having her love in my life. She was my everything. I would give anything, trade anything, do anything to always have her in my life.

My panic must have come through loud and clear in the beeping in the room, because suddenly I felt her hands running through my hair. Her panicked voice called out to me, "Oh I'm sorry, baby. I didn't really mean that. Not really. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Please calm down, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for as long as you're willing to have me, okay?"

I calmed down as I heard her words, but more than that, I felt the truth of them in her touch. She rested her head against mine. Soon, I was drifting again in my peaceful warm darkness with her at my side.

I was pulled away from the warm darkness when I felt the loss of Bella at my side. I heard the muffled voice that I was pretty sure was my Mom, talking to Bella. Then I heard her answer.

"I can't, Esme. I can't go sleep in that bed without him, knowing he's here. It was one thing when he was at work while I was working graveyard, but even then, I knew he was going to climb in with me when he got home. I can't sleep there, knowing he won't be coming home to me tonight."

It was then that I realized that I had been floating in the darkness for what was probably a very long time. I had no clue how many days, but it was probably more than one. This whole time, my Bella was refusing to leave the hospital. She wasn't taking care of herself. That upset me even more than the thought of her leaving me.

The beeping once again grew louder. I felt her hands in my hair again as she assured me it wasn't my fault. She just didn't want to leave me. I calmed myself down some, but still was unhappy with her not taking proper care of herself. The beeping continued on, faster than usual. Bella sighed, finally agreeing to go home and shower, before coming back for the night.

I wanted her to take proper care of herself and get a good night's sleep, but I was also feeling selfish. I wanted her to stay by my side. The empty feeling was gone when she was near. I knew I would feel it all over again the entire time she was away.

She finally left, taking all the warmth of my current darkened world with her.

I heard Mom's muffled distorted voice above me before I felt coolness on my skin. The realization clicked, she was doing the cool compress thing that she did when I was a kid. There was nothing else she could do, so she was doing the one thing that always made me feel better. I couldn't hear her or communicate with her, but God did I want to tell her how much I loved and appreciated her.

I listened as her voice spoke softly in the garbled string of stories that were gibberish to me. Sometimes her tone was light and cheerful, while other times it was sad. I longed so much to hug her and comfort her, as she had done me so many times. I wished I could hear the details of her story. I hoped I would remember to ask her to tell me again some day.

My mom's presence was comforting, but I was really missing the irreplaceable warmth and comfort of my Bella. Thankfully, she eventually returned. My mother left, and Bella stayed by my side for the longest time as I floated happily in the warm dark, feeling truly at rest.

Bella only left me one more time for a short while as my mom's voice once again filled the room. Bella returned shortly afterward as my mom's presence was replaced by another.

It took me a while to place the voice before I realized it was Elizabeth. She had come to see me. I felt a little twinge inside me of gratefulness that I was important enough to visit, but her presence brought me no comfort. Thankfully, her visit was brief.

I heard lots of murmurs of a variety of voices before I finally heard Bella speaking close to my ear. "They are taking you off your medicine and you'll be able to wake up soon, baby. I can't wait to see your beautiful green eyes. I love you, Edward."

Her lips pressed to my temple for a very long time. I reveled in the warmth and love. I'm not sure how long it took, but slowly, the noises of the room grew louder and louder. After a time, the voices around me were no longer the distant muffled teacher voices I once heard, but were now understandable and discernable voices of individuals who were both strangers and loved ones.

I felt Bella touching my arm. I willed my fingers to close tightly onto hers, to squeeze her small cool fingers to let her know I was waking up. To let her know I would look into her beautiful brown eyes soon. I focused on my fingers, imagining them curling up around hers. Suddenly, I felt her jump and yell out to my mom that I moved.

I concentrated on tightening my grip some more. I heard them both emit uncharacteristic girly squeals just before I heard the footsteps of my mom dash out of the room.

I started to focus on my eyelids. They felt as though they were sewn shut. I tightened them, hoping to break the bonds, before trying once more to lift them.

New voices filled the room as my mom returned, just in time for my eyes to split slightly, dousing my vision with harsh bright white light. I slammed them closed again before slowly prying them open once more. Then, I slowly opened them wider as my eyes grew accustomed to the brightness of the room.

When my eyes finally focused, I was hoping to see the eyes of my Bella. Instead, I was staring at some unknown woman in white with a penlight in her hand, asking me question after question, too quickly for me to actually answer.

I tried to respond, but my throat felt blocked. My hand shot up to my mouth to find a tube there, keeping me from speaking. I began to pull at it, wanting it out and feeling panic at the fact that Bella wasn't at my side.

I heard several loud voices call out at once, but only one caught my attention. I glanced to my left, toward the sound of her voice, just as her head popped into my field of vision on that side.

"Edward, baby, calm down. They will take the tube out as soon as they know you are okay. You have to stay calm and still my love."

She shot an angry look at the nurse. She mumbled to her something about this being why the doctor asked her to stay at my side and how she shouldn't have pushed her out of the way.

In response, the nurse narrowed her eyes at Bella, before elbowing her back again, leaning over me once more to poke and prod painfully at my body.

My arms were weak, but I forced my left hand to reach up toward her. I caressed Bella's cheek as she pushed her way between the table and the head of my bed so that she could still be near me while the nurse worked. She ran her hands through my hair, helping me to relax a bit more. As long as she was at my side, I knew I would be fine. I looked up at her eyes, unwilling to look away, while the nurse continued to ask questions that I didn't even hear.

Finally, Bella looked up at the nurse with a frustrated expression before looking back down at me, caressing my face with her hand.

"Edward, can you hear me?"

I nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Can you feel what she is doing to you near your incision?"

I winced as the nurse prodded painfully at my chest. I frowned and nodded again.

"They are going to disconnect the machine that is helping you breathe now. The tube is still going to be in your mouth just in case they need to reconnect you. We need you to breathe normally. If you find that you cannot take a breath, squeeze my hand three times to let me know. We will reconnect the machinery. It's going to hurt, baby, but it's important to get you breathing on your own as soon as we can. Are you ready?"

I nodded, squeezing her hand in nervous anticipation. I kept my eyes locked on her as I heard a strange gush of air and felt the steady air filling and leaving my lungs through the tube stop. As I tried to bring in a breath, I felt my lungs hitch and stutter. I tried to pull in the air with a painful gasp. Fire burned in my lungs as they inflated and deflated with my own efforts. It hurt like a bitch, but it wasn't like the feeling in the ER where I felt as though I was drowning in the middle of open air.

I took a few more slow shuddering breaths before my breathing finally evened out and I heard a collective sigh leave the room as Bella's wide smile filled her face and sparkled in her eyes. I squeezed her hands, dying to tell her I loved her and finding myself extremely anxious to get the damn tube out of my mouth already.

I felt people poking and prodding. Then I heard a male voice explaining that they were about to remove the tube. They wanted me to try to cough.

Bella grimaced, shifting herself so that her face was down by mine. She kissed my temple and whispered in my ear as I tried to cough, which morphed into a gag as the tube was ripped uncomfortably from my throat. Once it was free of my mouth, I coughed hard for a bit, causing stabbing pains to shoot through my chest. I cinched my eyes tightly. I tried to stay still as Bella had warned, but it was really fucking hard when you felt like a mass murderer was plunging a carving knife into your chest repeatedly.

I was glad to see my love, but the pain shooting through my body made me wish I were in the damn darkness again. Finally, my body settled again. As it slowly relaxed, the worst of the pain subsided.

Bella stood sentry at the head of my bed. I locked eyes with her again, smiling as I tried to speak, only to be met with a low scratchy squeak. I finally managed to make her understand I needed some water, hoping that once I drank a little I would be able to speak a little better.

She rushed to a table next to the bed, filling a plastic cup and placing a bendy straw in it. She brought it to my bedside, positioning it to help me take a few sips.

My mouth pulled at the straw eagerly as the cold water slid down my throat painfully, accompanied by the sensation of swallowing glass. I pushed through the pain and eventually it dulled slightly. The coolness began to feel slightly soothing.

I heard a commotion on the other side of my bed. I looked over to see the bitter looking nurse arguing with the doctor.

He looked at her with an air of frustration before very calmly saying, "She is a doctor in this hospital and as close to a wife as the man has. She is fully capable of taking care of his needs for the time being and is successful in keeping him calm and cooperative. Please put your personal dislikes for Dr. Swan aside and be the professional that we both know that you are, Michelle. Leave your sister's past grievances with the two of them off of this floor."

The nurse, Michelle, looked taken aback.

The doctor looked down at her with an air of authority. "You are a thousand times the nurse Maggie ever thought about being. Don't get into the same petty, unprofessional activities that got her fired, Michelle."

With that, he turned to leave. It was then that I saw the resemblance. Of course she was being a bitch to Bella, she was Andy's slutty nurse, Maggie's, sister. Suddenly, I became a bit nervous about the medication she was adding to my IV solution, wondering if I should speak to Dad about perhaps insuring that I didn't get stuck with this sadistic bitch again.

Thankfully, whatever she added to my line did help me feel less pain. A warm tingly sensation filled my body. I looked back up at Bella with a sleepy smile, as the stresses started to drift away.

Bella smiled back down at me, shifting once the room cleared a bit to sit at my side. She caressed my arm with her hand. My heart felt warm and content. I opened my mouth to say the words I had been dying to say for the longest time. I didn't remember anything from the time I was under besides her…feeling her by my side, hearing her voice floating in the darkness. I opened my mouth, mouthing the words with a whisper of a voice that I wasn't sure she could actually hear.

"I love you so damn much, Bella. I heard you."

Her eyes grew large before brimming with tears. She leaned forward, nuzzling her face in the crook of my neck, kissing my cheek gently.

"I love you too, Edward. I hoped you could hear me. God, I love you so much. I was so scared."

She leaned over me, slowly drifting down to brush her lips over mine.

I caressed them back, wishing my lips weren't so chapped, and most likely uncomfortable to kiss. I felt her sigh into my mouth, filling my next breath with her taste and smell. I sighed in response.

I felt my parents come to my bedside. I looked over, unwilling to let go of Bella, as they leaned down to kiss me. They told me that they knew I was going to make it. They stayed for a while, before leaving me to rest, assuring us both that Bella was now allowed to stay as long as she wanted.

I smiled and squeezed her hand, motioning that I wanted her to join me on the bed.

She shook her head, arguing that there wasn't enough room and she would hurt me.

I frowned and patted the bed more insistently. I was determined that she be lying by my side where she really belonged.

Her eyes spoke volumes regarding how fucking exhausted she must be. I felt the need to take care of her now for a bit.

After ten minutes of her resisting and my insisting nonverbally, she finally relented. She climbed carefully onto the sliver of bed next to me, balancing on her side. She barely allowed her body to come into contact with mine as she shifted wires out of the way.

Once she finally had her body on the bed, her head resting on my perfectly healthy shoulder, I wrapped my arm around her. I pulled her closer, needing to feel the warmth of her body heat next to me. After all, I was only injured on my right hand side. My left was perfectly fine. It wasn't even slightly sore.

The medication was making me sleepy, but I refused to give in to it until I knew she was finally resting. A few minutes later, I was rewarded with the weight of her body relaxing into the bed and my uninjured side as her breath hit a slow steady cadence. I smiled and thanked God for her as I tightened my arm around her shoulder, finally submitting to the sleep that the medication was forcing upon my body.

We didn't get to sleep long before I heard harsh yelling. I opened my eyes to see the nurse yelling at Bella. She called her a spoiled, selfish bitch, screaming at her that she needed to leave the ICU. I heard the beeping grow louder and faster before my scratchy voice filled the air.

"I want you out of my room, you fucking bitch. Bella is the only thing keeping me sane right now. I asked her to climb into my bed. I need her with me. It's you I don't want or need. Leave…NOW!"

She turned her evil gaze on me, starting toward me with a stomping gait. She leaned down over me to yell in my face.

"You fucking asshole! You screwed my sister and dumped her like she was trash. You don't deserve to have survived. You should have died with the asshole in the ER."

I didn't even get a chance to respond before the bitch was ripped from over my bed and sent flying across the room. I looked over surprised to see Bella pulling the bitch by her hair and tossing her into the hallway.

"Don't you EVER fucking say something like that to anyone ever again. If I have any say in this whatsoever, you will not work another day in this hospital. Get the fuck out of here, you bitch. OH and for your information, he never had sex with your lying slut of a sister. If you walk into this room again, you will regret it!"

She slammed the door in the bitch's face before stomping over the phone. She picked it up, dialing angrily. I heard her voice asking that the charge nurse come to the room before hanging up. Next, she dialed my Dad's number, explaining what had just happened.

I looked up at the camera on the wall with a smirk for a second before I started to worry that Bella's reaction could cost her as well. The fucking bitch certainly wasn't worth her career.

**BPOV**

The term pissed off didn't even come close to the murderous rage I felt when that bitch had the audacity to say that my Edward didn't deserve to live. She's lucky all I did was drag her out by her dark brown ponytail!

Within five minutes, both Carlisle and the charge nurse were standing in the room, trying to calm me down. I paced back and forth, trying to expend the energy that I really wanted to use to pummel the harpy to the ground.

The nurse and Carlisle both tried to comfort me as best they could. When I finally calmed down some, I glanced over to see Edward smirking at me as his eyes followed me in my paces back and forth at the end of his bed. They assured me that action would be taken. They promised to trade out nurses, making sure that 'Michelle' was not assigned Edward again during his stay.

Once they finally left, I walked back to Edward's bedside. I fussed with his covers a moment before flopping down in the chair by the bed with a long tired sigh.

Edward chuckled, which quickly turned into a moan when his laughter irritated his injuries.

I ran my hand through his hair as he reached up to take it, pulling it down to his mouth, placing a sweet kiss on the back.

"My avenging angel," he rasped with more strength to his voice than he had before we had slept. It still far from the velvety smoothness it normally imbues, but it was a definite improvement. "You know, you are beautiful when you are pissed off and defending my honor."

I smiled with a snort as he reached up to cup my cheek, a serious expression now on his face. "You know it was a lie, right? I promise you, I never had sex with Maggie. The most that ever happened between us you witnessed first hand, much to my shame."

I nodded, placing my hand over his. "I know, sweetheart. I never doubted that for a second. I believe in you."

He patted the bed again at his side. I shook my head again, not wanting to face another showdown today.

"Please, Bella; I need to have you close to me. I meant what I said; you were the only thing that kept me sane since I've been in here."

I frowned in his direction. He responded by casting me his puppy dog eyes and I couldn't resist. "In a little bit, baby, let's meet your new nurse first before we go pushing boundaries again."

He nodded with a small pout, deciding to be content with me sitting on the edge of the bed and holding his hand. I traced the veins and sinews on the back of his wide hand, memorizing every inch of him.

About twenty minutes later, the door opened. I looked up to see the smiling face of Donna.

"Well hello you two! It's good to see Mr. Masen here awake! You're right, Bella; he does have beautiful green eyes."

I glanced over at Edward as she crossed the room to his side to examine him. He was smiling back and forth between Donna and me.

"Donna and I bonded yesterday. She was the first one to break the rules and let me stay with you throughout her shift."

She smiled at me with a wink, "Well it's not bending the rules for you to be here today, matter of fact, its doctor's orders." She turned back to Edward as she lifted the sheet to examine his incision. Edward looked down for the first time with a frown.

"Don't worry, Mr. Masen, you'll be right as rain before long. The doctor just told me that they will be moving you down to a regular floor probably tomorrow, where you'll stay for about a week. Once your incision has healed a little more, they will be taking out half of your staples and then casting your upper body and right shoulder before they send you home to help stabilize your ribs."

Edward groaned in frustration.

Donna smiled, putting her hand on his arm. "Trust me, Mr. Masen, it could be much worse. You should count yourself lucky that this is the worst of it and that you have that sweet girl over there taking care of you."

"Edward," he rasped with a smile. "Please, call me Edward."

She smiled and nodded before collecting her things, making her way out of the room. She was almost to the door when she spun back around with a smile.

"Oh, and if you two want to curl up and take a nap, I definitely won't screech down the house. Bella needs some rest. She's been at your side non stop for," she glanced down at her watch and then back at us, "about thirty six hours now. The only sleep she got was sitting in that plastic chair with her head resting on your arm. She deserves to stretch out a bit!" With that, she turned, closing the door behind her.

I glanced sheepishly back at Edward who was frowning at me slightly. He patted the bed next to him. I gingerly climbed up next to him, settling into his side like I had before the disruption. He wrapped his good arm tightly around me and sighed.

"You should have been taking better care of yourself, Bella. You should have gone home and rested."

I shook my head on his chest. "No, I couldn't. I couldn't stand to be away from you. I knew you needed me here. Your heartbeat confirmed that. Besides, I didn't want to be away from you. The nightmares are too much if I'm not with you."

"Nightmares?" he asked, concern lacing his voice as he stroked my hair.

"Yeah, after you came out of surgery, I fell asleep for a little bit in the waiting room. While you were in recovery, I had one so bad that I started screaming in my sleep. When Jasper tried to hold me to keep me from hurting Emmett, I nearly broke his nose with my elbow."

He coughed hard with a slight chuckle mixed in, followed by a tight moan as his rib ached again at the strain. He finally croaked out, "You what?"

"Yeah, I was freaking out on Em in my sleep. Jazz grabbed my arms to stop me but I pulled one free and slammed it right into his nose. It bled like crazy."

I felt him let out a strange snort, trying not to laugh and cause him self more pain, but was on the verge of failing miserably.

"It's not funny, Edward! I hurt him really badly. I'm kind of scared that now that you're awake, I'll be less focused on taking care of you and the dreams might come back. I might hurt you worse if I sleep here with you."

He sighed, "Nonsense. I'll be fine. Besides, you didn't have any nightmares when we were resting earlier."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean…"

He cut me off, "No, you'll be fine. I need you here just as much as you need to be here with me. I love you, Bella. Please just stay here with me."

I sighed, settling myself closer to him. I closed my eyes, giving thanks that he was safe and talking to me and needed me as much as I needed him. So what if we were being codependent? Right now, I couldn't really give a shit. I wrapped my fingers through his where they rested on my side, taking a deep breath, relishing the feel of my Edward at my side.

It didn't take long until I drifted off again, the exhaustion of the last several days burying me in a world of peace, warmth, and Edward.

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_**Well…what did you think? I'm sure most of you are glad he's awake. I only kept him out for three chapters, but you'd think I was keeping him away from you guys for half the story the way everyone was begging/threatening my life if he didn't wake up during this chapter. Now I want to hear your opinions!**_


	33. Reaching Into the Darkness

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters...blah, blah, blah...yadda, yadda, yadda...oh and I don't own the rights to the song used in this chapter either as always! (Can you tell I'm tired of the whole disclaimer thing? LOL)**

**Featured Song in this chapter: No Air by Jordin Sparks (featuring Chris Brown) **.com/watch?v=Icv6DgZ-9O4

_**Fair warning, this one is another heavy chapter. I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions! **_

_**Thanks to Sassenach Wench for her work as out Twilighted Jr. Validation Beta, and my two guest betas during version 1.0 of this story Noble Korhedron and Crazycass**_**!**

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**Reaching Into the Darkness**

**EPOV**

Donna came in several times throughout the evening, always being extremely careful to not wake Bella. She slept deeply snuggled to my side, not even moving beyond the occasional babbling in her sleep that was so typical of Bella when she was tired.

In the past month I had lived with Bella, I had noticed that she had outgrown the whole sleep talking thing on a nightly basis, but it still showed up when she was really exhausted. The more tired she was, the more she tended to chatter. Judging by the continual talking she was doing today, she had run herself down so badly that it was a wonder she was still vertical when I woke up.

I listened to her whimper and cry a bit as she talked about the hostage situation. Her voice became especially strained when she started talking about me getting hurt. I couldn't help but tear up a little at how upset she had been.

She had gone a long stretch of sleeping silently by my side before she started humming a tune that was extremely familiar, but I couldn't place where I knew it from and why it made my heart ache. I listened to her hum quietly and then a memory clicked in my mind of hearing her singing the song at some point while I was floating in the darkness. It made my heart ache and burn as I remembered the sadness and longing for Bella the song made me feel, but I couldn't remember the words, or what it was about, to know why.

Not too long after Bella stopped humming, Donna came back in again. I asked her to hand me Bella's iPod that was sitting on the ledge by the window. I grabbed it and began scrolling through her song lists, trying to see if any titles jumped out at me with no luck.

"Whatcha looking for there, Edward?" Donna whispered light heartedly. She glanced at the screen while taking my temperature with the funny little thermometer that she slid across my forehead and behind my ear before checking the screen and jotting the number down.

"Bella was humming a song in her sleep earlier. I remember her singing the tune while I was out, but I don't remember the words and can't place the song. I'm trying to see if any of these titles ring a bell."

"I'm pretty good with music, maybe if you try to hum a few bars I might be able to help."

I glanced up nervously knowing that most things including basic breathing hurt like hell, so lord only knows what pain humming would cause, but it was driving me crazy. I clinched my eyes though the pain as I hummed a couple of bars. I opened them to find Donna frowning at the bed sheets before a light of recognition dawned in her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure that's _No Air_ by Jordin Sparks. Pretty song, but it's really emotional. It's about two people being apart and how being away from them is like trying to breathe with no air."

I winced a little before smiling at her, thanking her for her help. I immediately scanned the song lists until I found the track. I slipped in the ear buds and hit play and listened as my heart lurched in my chest.

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air_

_If I should die before I wake  
It's 'cause you took my breath away  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air  
Oh_

_I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave  
My heart won't move, it's incomplete  
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand_

_But how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
It's no air, no air_

My God, it was as if someone had taken all the feeling in my soul and published them for the world to hear. That's exactly how I felt when I was floating in the darkness when she wasn't with me, and it must have been how she was feeling too. I ran my hands through her hair, kissing the top of her head as I listened to the song continue on. The song was a little different because it was more about a couple who have broken up and moved on, but still missed one another, but it could easily be adjusted to fit our situation.

Bella stayed curled into my side all evening and night. She didn't even get up to use the restroom. I slept on and off between the interruptions of the nurse. A couple of doctors crept in and out of the room in the hours before dawn, looking disapprovingly at Bella lying at my side, but didn't say anything. I was glad because if they dared, I probably would have told them to fuck off. It was obvious my girl needed this. My arm was dead numb from the reduced circulation, but I didn't give a shit, I wasn't about to disturb her.

The sun was just starting to rise on the horizon outside the window when Bella finally stirred. She looked around in confusion before looking up at me quickly. Seeing me awake and smiling at her, she smiled back brightly, stretching her arms out while still being careful of my injuries.

"Good morning," I whispered, my voice getting much stronger, but still sounding slightly foreign with a faint crackle behind it.

"Good morning," she whispered back, shifting herself to kiss me gently on the lips.

I grabbed her neck with my good hand, holding her to me as I opened my mouth, swiping her lips with my tongue.

She smiled against my lips before opening her mouth, letting her tongue dart out to tease my lips slightly before pulling away.

"You seem to be feeling a bit better," she mused as she shifted to stand up, walking toward the restroom.

"I am and you better get your ass back in this bed as soon as you're done in there."

She shot me a look that rested somewhere between a grin and a grimace before disappearing behind the door. When she reappeared a good fifteen minutes later, she looked refreshed with her hair pulled back from her face in a ponytail and a fresh set of clothes draped around her frame.

I smiled, nodding my approval as she made her way back around my bed to sit beside me, playing with my hands. "Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry? I can go bug the nurses about food for you. Maybe they'll get orders to transition you from clear liquids to solids soon."

I squeezed her hand tightly. "I'm good for now, baby. Donna was in here just before you woke up. She said they were ordering me a special transitional tray to see how I do. If I handle it well, I can be on a regular solids diet. She ordered you a tray too, complaining that she hadn't really seen you eat any time that she's been here. Have you been eating, love?"

She shrugged, "Wasn't really all that hungry. I'll eat when you do though. I'm feeling totally famished!"

I scoffed lightly, "Well, fuck yeah, I bet you are! You really should have eaten, Bella!"

She groaned and roller her eyes at me. "Edward, please don't start. I don't have the energy right now. All I care about is that you are alive, well, and awake here beside me. Let's focus on the good things like that for a while okay?"

I sighed a bit which hurt because it made me suck in a larger than usual breath before finally nodding in defeat. I let go of her hand, raising the head of my bed a bit. I tugged on her shirt for her to sit next to me. As I wrapped my good arm around her shoulder, I handed her the iPod with the song still on the screen.

"You were humming it in your sleep. I remembered hearing it while I was out. I'm so sorry you had to go through that and feel all of that. I don't remember much besides your voice, which was the only one I could actually understand. The warm hum of your touch saved my sanity over and over. The desperate desire to hold you and comfort you frustrated me because it was sort of like I was trapped in my own body. I wanted to tell you that I loved you over and over, but I couldn't. Just know that I felt this exact same way not being able to touch you and let you know how I felt…even more so when you had to be away from me. Like the song said, without you I'm incomplete."

She watched me with sad eyes, fat tears spilling over when I was done. She shifted, grabbing my face between her hands, and kissing me gently before slowly deepening the kiss. It wasn't passionate in the erotic sense, but instead it was passionate in the sense of her doing her best to relay her deep feelings of love and devotion. I tried to do my best to send it back to her in the same way.

We kissed for a long time, only interrupted by a knock on the door as Dr. Howser walked in with a smug smile on his face. He explained that once I was finished eating, they would be transferring me to a surgery recovery floor for the rest of my stay.

He also explained that Wednesday, half of my staples would be removed and my incision would be examined. If it appeared to be closed up and healed to satisfaction, the torso and shoulder cast would be applied to limit my movements. If it weren't for the risk of infection of the incision, I would already be in a cast, but the incision needed to be properly maintained and cleaned until it was sufficiently closed.

After a week, the cast would be removed and the remainder of the staples would be taken out before a new cast would be applied. I would have to stay in the cast for a minimum of four weeks, possibly longer depending on how the ribs were healing. After that part is over, I would have to endure some physical therapy to rehab my shoulder and chest muscles before I would be released back to normal duty.

I groaned at the prospect of spending an entire fucking month in an itchy uncomfortable cast. When I really sat down and thought about it though, it was better than any of the alternatives, the largest of which being death. I sighed, accepting my fate with as much grace as I could muster.

Soon the tray of tasteless hospital slop was delivered. I did my best to eat as much as I could stomach. To my great delight, my body handled it perfectly so my next meal would be slightly less disgusting solid foods. Oh well, anything's better than another bowl of canned chicken or beef broth, weak tea, and jello.

I chuckled as I realized this whole situation has transformed me from a life long pessimist to a fucking glass is half full optimistic son of a bitch. I guess it's not a bad thing, but I couldn't help but hear one of the guys' voices in the back of my head calling me a pussy anytime my mind went that direction.

At the order of the doctor, I was going to be transferred between rooms via a gurney instead of a wheelchair. He didn't want me sitting fully upright yet, wanting to keep me as immobile as possible. Donna and four other nurses worked together to transfer me using sheets and a board.

I couldn't help but scream out in pain during the transfer. I had yet to feel pain that intense since I had woken up. At the very least, it convinced me that I was definitely not ready for any transferring or getting up on my own, much less a fucking wheelchair ride.

Once I was settled, Donna apologized not realizing it had been so long since my last pain med dose before they transferred me. She added a syringe of clear liquid to my IV. Once it had kicked in leaving me feeling dozy and a little punch drunk, they rolled me toward the elevator. Every bump in the floor sent shocks through my chest, managing to penetrate a bit through the haze of my medication. I was more than a little grateful that they had dosed me and allowed it to kick in before the journey.

Bella walked beside me, holding my hand as we navigated the hallways. We bid Donna goodbye as she left us with the transport personnel at the elevator banks. Both Bella and I hated to see her go. She had been an amazing and caring nurse. If only they were all like Donna, then the healthcare industry would be a much cheerier and better place to interact in.

We rode down to the third floor. I had to endure another painful transfer into the bed in this room. It wasn't quite as bad thanks to the fresh medicine coursing through my veins, but it still hurt like hell.

Bella settled into the recliner next to the bed. She reached out to hold my hand as nurses and aids shuffled around the room, taking my stats and updating their charts. Finally, after several long minutes, they left us alone.

I stared at Bella as she stared back for several minutes until the booming voice of Emmett filled the room from the doorway.

"Edward! You're looking a hell of a lot better than you did the last time I saw your punk ass! Glad to see you awake."

I looked over to see him smiling brightly at us. He led a line of bodies behind him. He walked straight over to Bella, pulling her into a long hug and asking her how she was doing. Rose came to sit a bear with a bundle of large balloons tied to it on the bedside table. I looked at her questioningly and she laughed.

"Emmett said you don't give guys flowers. This way you can re-gift the bear back to us when I have the baby."

I laughed, then froze, groaning at the pain in my chest as everyone cast me sympathetic smiles combined with grimaces.

Jasper and Alice came by my side next. Alice bent down to kiss me on the cheek, placing a coffee mug with another set of balloons tied to the handle next to the bear.

I looked over to see that the mug appeared to be plain black until I noticed the gold writing in the middle that read, "I survived a coma and all I got was this stupid mug." I snorted, trying not to laugh and failing miserably as the muscles around my incision screamed at me, bringing tears to my eyes.

Bella rushed to my side, brushing her hand through my hair. She hummed into my ear to help me calm down and relax.

A couple of minute later, I was relaxed back into the bed. Everyone settled around us, trying to keep the mood upbeat and yet not make me laugh again.

Jasper and Alice dismissed themselves after an hour with Alice claiming she needed to get home and get some rest for her graveyard shift in the ER tonight. Bella shivered a little in her seat. I cast a worried glance in her direction. Alice and Jasper left shortly after.

Emmett crossed to kneel in front of Bella where she sat on the edge of my bed with her fingers still twisted together with mine.

"Bella, are you okay honey?" Obviously, her reaction hadn't escaped Emmett's notice either.

She did a horrible job plastering on a fake smile, "Yeah, Em, I'm fine. Why?"

Emmett chuckled darkly, "Bells, why do you even try to lie to me? You know by now that you are a horrible liar. I can spot one coming out of your mouth from three miles away. What's going on, sweetie?"

Bella sighed as she stared down at our hands, tracing the lines in the back of my hand with her free one.

"Just the thought of the ER, I couldn't help but remember…everything." She looked back up at him slowly. "What if I can't go back in there, Emmett? What if I can't finish my internship?" She started to sniffle.

I grabbed her hand tighter, wishing so badly I could sit up and hold her close.

Emmett stepped up, providing the comfort I wanted to give her instead. He pulled her in his arms, caressing her hair, casting a concerned look over her head at me.

"It will be okay, Bella. You'll be okay. One way or another, we'll get you through your internship and residency. You've worked too hard to have the actions of one lunatic ruin it all for you now. We'll get through this."

Bella's sniffles turned into hard sobs as he clutched the back of Emmett's shirt in her tiny fist. Her knuckles where white with the pressure she was grasping the material.

"I hope so, Emmett. I hope you're right. Sitting here right now, I'm not sure I can. I have to go in for my review in two days and I'm not sure what they are going to say. I'm nowhere near over this."

He sighed, rubbing circles in her back as she let go of his shirt. He shifted to lean against the bed on the other side of her. "Don't worry about that now, sweetheart. We'll deal with that in two days. For right now, I really think you need to come home with us. Sleep in a real bed, take a long hot bath, and eat some food that wasn't mass produced in the basement of this place."

She began shaking her head hard in denial, "No, Emmett. I don't need to. I slept nearly twelve hours next to Edward last night on his bed. I…I'm fine. I'm not ready to leave him yet, and not only that…"

Emmett interrupted her, "Bells, you might have slept, but it couldn't have been deeply enough with nurses coming in and out. Even if you didn't wake all the way up, it had to have disrupted you somewhat. You look better than you did yesterday, but I can tell from looking at your eyes that you could still use more sleep."

Bella stiffened next to Emmett, gripping my hand harder. She was willing me to help her convince Emmett, but I couldn't. He was right. She really needed a full night's sleep in a bed without disruption.

"Emmett…I…I can't." She said as her hand began to shake slightly in mine.

I rubbed circles on the back with my thumb to calm her down.

"Why not, Bells? Edward will be asleep anyway. He's over the worst of it. Basically, all they're waiting for now is for his incision to heal so they can remove the staples and cast him up to send him home. There's no reason for you to stay…he's fine now!"

Bella's breathing sped a little. The shaking got worse. I saw a tear drop from her face to splash on her pants leg as she mumbled something too quietly for me to hear.

"What was that, Bells?" Emmett asked obviously not hearing her either.

"I'm not," she said a little louder as another tear fell, wetting the blue denim that covered her thigh.

"Not what, baby?" I asked rubbing more insistent circles on the back of her hand.

She looked up at me with red watery eyes. Her lip quivered slightly before she spoke. "I'm not fine, Edward. I'm nowhere near fine. I can't be away from you because I need you. You keep the nightmares away. If I leave and you're not with me, I won't be able to sleep. I'll spend all night reliving what happened down there and I…I can't do that."

Her voice broke as she spoke and my heart broke right along with it. She shrugged off Emmett's arm on her shoulder, gently lowering herself down to lay next to me, curling herself to my chest, and crying loudly into my shoulder.

"Baby, you were still having nightmares though. I heard you talking in your sleep about it all several times last night."

She hiccupped, burying her face harder in my shoulder as she shook her head. "I dreamed about it a little, but it wasn't as scary. It was more like I was watching it play out on a movie screen than I was actually living it. When you're not here, it's like I'm there again. I feel all of the feelings and experience it first hand all over again. I can't do that again!"

I wrapped my arm around her, trying to soothe her while looking up at Emmett in semi panic.

He looked back with a matching expression.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to focus on something we could do to help. When I opened them again, Rose was at his side. I mouthed to them to go get my Dad. He would know what to do to help her. If she didn't face some of this then there was no way she'd pass her review on Wednesday.

Rose disappeared into the hallway while Emmett moved to the chair, pulling it closer and rubbing Bella's back as I caressed her hair and kissed her forehead. Emmett and I looked at each other helplessly over her head.

By the time Rose walked back in with my Dad in tow, Bella had drifted off to sleep again. She melted into my side, clutching my hospital gown in her fist.

Dad walked in, crossing to talk quietly with Emmett, glancing over with a worried expression at Bella's back, before speaking some more with Emmett.

When Bella shifted, they decided to move into the hallway so they wouldn't disturb her. They finally came back fifteen minutes later. Dad crossed to my bedside. He rested a hand on the arm on my injured side, examining my IV, before speaking softly to me in his attempt to update me without waking Bella.

"What she's experiencing is all very normal for someone who has suffered a traumatic experience like what she has. I'm worried though that if she keeps hiding by you and doesn't face her issues, doesn't deal with them, then it will take her much longer to recover. She won't pass her review this week. If that happens, I can't guarantee that she won't have to repeat her intern year."

I felt the impulse to reach up to rub between my eyebrows, massaging the bridge of my nose in frustration, but both hands were busy at the time, keeping me from being able to do so. I chose to sigh quietly instead.

"What do we do, Dad?"

He frowned, clearing his throat quietly. "You need to convince her to go home tonight, Edward. She needs to start dealing with this. Literally facing her nightmares is a big step toward facing the event as a whole."

My eyes widened as my arm instinctually tightened around her shoulders. "I can't do that, Dad!" I hissed. "I can't push her away when she feels so strongly that she needs me. I can't abandon her!"

Dad reached his hand out to my shoulder, patting it gently. "Son, it's for her own good. You don't have to be mean about it, but you should simply encourage her, try to convince her. I am also going to ask my good friend Dr. Kellison to come down here and speak with the two of you. I get the impression that she will be more open to talking about things if you are with her. If we can get her started that way, then maybe she can continue on later on her own. We just need to take baby steps."

"But Dad, if we can take baby steps with that, can't we take baby steps with her sleeping? Maybe we can insist that she can stay only if she sleeps in the recliner on her own so I'm nearby. Then later, she can work her way up to sleeping at home again by the time she has to get back to the floor?"

Dad sighed, running his hands through his hair before grasping the bridge of his nose. I smirked because I knew exactly how he felt.

"If you absolutely cannot get her to spend the night at Emmett's or our house then that can be a viable alternative, but do not let her know that until you've exhausted all other options of persuading her. The sooner she starts facing things full on, the better."

I nodded and smiled gratefully at my father. "Thanks, Dad. I'll do my best."

He smiled back down at me with tears in the corner of his eyes. "You can't even begin to know how much hearing you call me that means to me. When you first said it right after we found out Bella was in danger, it made my heart warm. I wondered though if it was just something that came out in the intensity of the moment, but to hear you keep saying it over and over now that things have settled down…there are no words, Edward." His voice cracked at the end.

I reached my IV restrained hand out to grab his that rested on the side of the bed.

"I'm only sorry I didn't start calling you Dad sooner. I had this weird hang up that calling you Dad was like disrespecting the man that raised me for the first ten years of my life. I didn't want to take away from who he was because he really was a good Dad, but now I realize that it doesn't take anything from him to admit that you were a wonderful caring Dad to me too."

My eyes watered for the tenth time today, damn meds making me weepier than usual, and my voice cracked as I continued. "I can't even begin to thank you for all you have done for me. I love you and I'm thankful that in my life I have had two amazing fathers. I love you, Dad."

Dad leaned over the edge of the bed and kissed my forehead as a few tears dripped from his face onto my head. "I love you too, son. Now you get some rest. I'll check into what we can do for your Bella."

"Thanks, Dad," I whispered.

He smiled and turned to walk out of the doorway.

When he left, Emmett and Rose stepped back in for a few minutes to say goodbye, asking me to have Bella call when she woke up. They disappeared as well, leaving me alone with my love.

I caressed her forehead with my lips. I rubbed her back gently as I whispered into the quiet room. "Don't worry, my love…you reached me in my darkness and helped me climb out. Now it's my turn to do the same for you. I promise you we will get through this together."

She whimpered a little as she shifted on my shoulder. Once she was settled, I rested my cheek on her head. I closed my eyes, drifting off to join her in sleep.


	34. Disturbed

**Disclaimer: You know the drill; I don't own Twilight no matter how much I wish I could. I also don't own any rights to the songs mentioned in this chapter.**

_**Another emotionally charged Bella focused chapter. We're starting to see more steps toward her healing, bit by bit now though. I created a new playlist for this chapter entitled 'kicking ass' if you want to listen along.**_

_**Thanks to my guest betas for this chapter Noble K. and Crazycass.**_

**Disturbed**

**BPOV**

I sat in the recliner next to Edward's bed. I had pushed it so that they were side by side. I held Edward's hand tightly as Dr. Kellison sat across from us in a plastic chair near the foot of the bed.

Dr. Kellison was beautiful with olive toned skin, long silky looking raven hair, and deep dark almond shaped eyes that lifted slightly at the outer corners, reminding me of drawings of Egyptian princesses. She had a relaxing and graceful air about her as she settled into her seat, crossing her legs, smiling sweetly at me.

She started me off easily, asking about med school, how I've enjoyed the program so far, and where I thought I wanted to focus. Her smile widened when I brought up pediatrics, explaining that this hospital had some amazing pediatric doctors that she has gotten to know quite well thanks to her children. I asked about her children with curiosity. She explained that she had a ten year old daughter, a five year old son, and another daughter that wasn't quite two years old. The twinkle in her eye grew brighter as she spoke about her children, which automatically made me smile.

She looked down at her file and then looked back up with a smile. "I see that your brother recently married Rosalie Hale, well Rosalie Swan now. She's an amazing nurse. She was my labor and delivery nurse when I delivered my youngest, and she was absolutely fantastic."

I smiled and nodded as she continued.

"This is probably something that most of the uppity doctors around here won't tell you, but you should really show as much respect and appreciation as you can for the nurses around here. They work really hard for nowhere near the deserved pay, and most of them really know their stuff. The ICU nurses probably know more than half the doctors walking around this place."

I smiled nodding. "Dr. Cullen told me that years ago when I first went premed. I've never forgotten. I have, however, run across a few nurses as of late that didn't deserve my respect, but that was because they were unprofessional…"I trailed off.

She nodded. "Yes, I heard about that. Those were most definitely extreme cases. To be honest, when I heard what Michelle said to you, I was surprised that you had the restraint to only push her out of the room considering all you have recently gone through. It's a true testament to your strength of character."

I felt Edward squeeze my hand that had stayed solidly in his throughout our conversation. I blushed and glanced down to study our intertwined fingers.

"So, how are you feeling now, Bella? You have had a very emotional several days."

I shrugged and looked over at Edward, needing to see his soothing green eyes. "It's been very exhausting. To be honest, I've been too busy worrying about Edward getting better to really think about it very much."

She nodded.

I looked over when I heard a shuffling sound to see her uncross her legs and then cross them again on the opposite side as she shuffled through some papers in her file.

She looked up at Edward and me, smiling again. "And are you feeling better now, Edward?"

I felt Edward stiffen slightly, not realizing he would have to actually participate in this little session before he cleared his throat gently. "Um, yeah…I'm doing much better. Still in quite a bit of pain. I'm sick of having to sit here and not really move at all. I'm alive and breathing though, and she's here with me and safe, so I would definitely say I'm feeling better."

She smiled and nodded before looking back at me. "I bet it's a relief to you as well, Bella, to see Edward awake and doing so much better. I can't imagine how horrifying it must have been for you to see him hurt and have to rush to save him, only to then see him taken away from you for surgery. Can you tell me about that?"

I sucked in a deep breath. I could feel the tears already stinging my eyes as my heart clenched painfully in my chest. "Horrifying is an adequate word, I guess. It…"

I looked at Edward, beginning to breathe harder, "I've never been so scared in my life. Even when Trager's gun was pointed at my own temple…it was nowhere near as terrifying as seeing Edward go down. I didn't know for sure it was him at the time, but somewhere deep inside, I believed it was."

My breath hitched. A squeak came out as I spoke, staring deep into Edward's eyes, where his own pain was visibly warring beneath the surface.

He caressed the back of my hand with his thumb.

"And when I removed his shirt and saw his birth mark, I nearly had a panic attack, but I had to focus on taking care of him first. When…"

The tears that I had managed to keep behind my lids slid down my cheek now. I wiped at them furiously. "When they wheeled him away from me, I lost it. I…I don't know how to describe it. It felt like I was going totally insane. All I could do was replay everything that happened over and over in my mind."

"Hmm…" I heard from her seat at the end of the bed with the shuffle of some more papers. "Your brother said that you stayed that way for quite a while until the coroner's office began to move the gunman's body. Then you snapped out of it, and I quote, 'like somebody slapped you,' and you pushed past him to see the assailant's body. Can I ask why you did that and how you felt about it?"

It was difficult to take a deep breath as the image of the body bag with Trager's body inside and the look of his eyes when I lifted the plastic slammed into my memory full force.

"Bella? Bella…" I could hear her addressing me, but I couldn't pull myself away to answer. "Bella, can you hear me?"

I nodded slightly, shifting to bury my face in Edward's shoulder. I hoped the smell and feel of him would help me replace the image in my mind that wouldn't let go with something more pleasant, as my breaths morphed into hard gasps.

"Bella, you need to talk about it, Bella. Hiding from it and pushing it away will only make the memories haunt you longer. The more you talk about it and confront it, the less power the memories will have over you. Come on, Bella, use your words, talk to us, or at the very least talk to Edward. He's very concerned about you, Bella. He wants you to talk to him."

I lifted my head, looking up at Edward's glistening green eyes. He looked so worried and frustrated. I knew he probably felt helpless, but I didn't know what I could do, so I started talking.

"He…he was laying there and there was so much blood. I knew better than to pull the bag below his face because the exit wound from that type of bullet would be really gory. I pu…pulled back the plastic. His eyes were open and so…blank."

I started to sob, my shoulders shaking violently with the force. Edward released my hand to cup my cheek lovingly, trying to wipe away some of the tears. He hooked his hand behind my neck, pulling my head down to his. He leaned forward slightly, touching his forehead to mine.

"You're doing good, sweetheart. Keep talking, please keep telling me. It will help you, I promise."

I took a few shivering gasps of air and opened my eyes to stare into his as our foreheads still touched. The perception from this angle made him look like he had one big green eye. For some reason, this silly perception pulled me back from the pain a bit. I let out a little snort. I pulled back and he smiled a little as he stroked my cheek again, nodding for me to continue.

"I hadn't expected the blood on his forehead and the four holes there. I know my shot was first, but four of the guys must have been just seconds behind me, but it didn't make a difference. As I stood there, I knew I had killed him. When the SWAT team came in and he was using me against them, I wanted him dead. I mean really wanted him dead. I wanted him to no longer exist, to put everyone I loved in danger…and then…then he pulled the gun. I knew he was going to hurt one of you. I was so angry. I knew if he was dead then he couldn't hurt you, but I was too slow. He shot you just as I pulled my trigger…and then he was dead. I murdered him."

Edward's eyes grew dark, his brow furrowed. "Baby, you didn't murder him. You would never have shot him if he weren't threatening harm to others. That was self defense, not murder."

"Edward, I'm…I'm supposed to save lives, no matter who is on the gurney in front of me. It's my job to first do no harm. There had to have been a better way. Maybe if I hadn't crawled away like a scared little bitch. Maybe if I'd done a better job injecting the sedative. Maybe if…"

Edward's index finger settled on my lips, stopping me in my rant as he shook his head. "No, baby…this is a normal feeling; most cops go through it the first time they have to make a kill. You did what was necessary. You saved so many people in that room that day. Do you not see that? That gun held seven bullets capable of piercing Kevlar. Six other team members could have been taken out by that son of a bitch if he had the chance. Not to mention all of the other hostages…."

He moved his fingers off my lips, cupping my cheek again, brushing my cheekbone with his thumb. "Baby, do you even know how amazing you were? You managed to escape from his grip, stab him with a syringe to slow him down, knock his gun out of his hand, push away the automatic weapon, grab the fucking trigger for a case of C4 that could easily have killed us all, and then got his hand gun. I couldn't be any more proud of you if you tried. You were so smart and strong and brave. I was scared as fuck, and yet so fucking proud. DO NOT believe for one second you did anything wrong. You want to talk about not taking lives? If you hadn't done what you did, then you would have taken all of our lives through inaction."

By the time he was done, I was sobbing again. My face, shirt, and his hand completely soaked with my tears as we just stared at each other. I reached up, cupping his cheek in my hand. We were so focused on our interaction; we had completely forgotten Dr. Kellison was in the room until she cleared her throat.

"I think we've discussed enough for the day. That was good, you two. I'm glad that the two of you share a relationship where you can support one another. Keep talking to one another whenever you can the rest of the day. If the two of you wouldn't mind, I would really like to talk again tomorrow, say 11?"

We both nodded.

She got up and collected her folders in her arms. "Bella, I would really like for you to get out of the hospital for a little while today. Your brother is in the waiting area. I will send him in when we are done. I want you to go spend a little time with him, have a good meal that wasn't cooked on premises. Go back to your place to have a nice long shower, a fresh change of clothes, and pick up something comfortable to sleep in tonight."

Edward looked up at her with surprised eyes and confusion etched in his features.

She smiled at him. "I think that for tonight, Bella would do well to not have another flashback without you nearby. I do ask though, that you sleep in the recliner, Bella, and not in bed with Edward. If you have a nightmare, Edward can comfort you. Then, when you have calmed, you should return to the recliner. You can hold hands, but no more contact that that. Do you think that the two of you can try that tonight?"

We both nodded. I rested my head against Edward's shoulder.

"Good, I will see you both tomorrow," she said with a smile. With that, she disappeared into the corridor.

I turned to Edward with a bewildered look.

He sighed and smiled at me with his crooked little smirk. "Good Job, baby," he whispered as he pushed my hair behind my ear.

"It was hard, and well, I just don't see how talking about it is going to make it all get better. It's just dragging it to the surface over and over again."

He shrugged, "I'm not the professional, love, but I think it's sort of like a desensitization thing. The more you face a fear or a challenge, the less it scares you or seems difficult to you over time…or at least that's my guess."

I smiled at him, "Maybe you should have been the doctor."

He chuckled, "Nah, I get too antsy and like kicking ass too much."

With that, we both laughed a little. I climbed onto the bed, nuzzling my face in his neck. Taking a deep draw of his scent, I kissed his neck. I smiled against the warm flesh behind his ear as my kisses earned a husky groan.

"Oh, Baby, you need to stop that or else we're going to have bigger problems on our hands. We can't exactly take care of any issues that come up here with people coming in and out every five minutes."

I pulled back, biting my lip apologetically, leading to another groan as his eyes rolled up in his head. "That's not much better, love."

I chuckled, "Sorry, sweetie. If it weren't for the fact that you need to be resting your lungs and heavy breathing would be more painful than any pleasure you might receive, I would offer to help take care of that later tonight. I'm afraid it wouldn't do you much good though."

He pouted and I laughed a little harder just as Emmett walked through the door with a wide smile.

"Now that's a hell of a lot better. I missed that laugh, squirt!"

I smiled up at him, crossing the room to hug him, "Hi Em." I glanced back at Edward with a sad sigh. I really didn't want to leave him.

He knew what I was thinking though. He nodded toward the door with a smile.

I sighed again and turned to Emmett.

"So, I hear you're breaking me out of here for a while today."

Emmett's mischievous smile had me a little nervous.

"Yep, you and I are going to go get some lunch. Then I have a side stop before I take you back to your place to take a shower and change, then I bring you back."

He turned to Edward with a wide smile and wink. "Don't expect her back for at least four or five hours."

"Four or five hours?" I squeaked as I looked up at my bear of a brother with wide eyes.

He nodded, placing his hand at the small of my back, leading me toward the door.

"Hold on a sec," I blurted before pulling away from him, running over to Edward's bedside for one last kiss.

"You need me to bring anything back for you? Any contraband you have a specific craving for?" I asked with a wink.

He whispered in my ear, "The only contraband I'm craving, I can't have because, apparently, heavy breathing is not a possibility right now. I guarantee you though that as soon as that is no longer the case, we'll both be doing a lot of heavy breathing together."

He chuckled.

I pulled away wide eyed with a bright red blush. "You're just a little evil," I whispered in response with a smirk.

He just nodded, pulling me toward him again for another kiss.

"Have fun with your brother, Bella. I'm certainly not going anywhere."

I smiled, kissing his forehead. I looked around to make sure his water, remote control, and call button for the nurse's station were within easy reach, before finally joining Em by the door, letting him lead me to the elevators.

We got into the tiny metal box and began to descend to the ground floor. When the doors opened, Emmett led me through the corridors. "Where are we going, Em? The front doors are this way."

"I know, but Carlisle asked for me to bring you by personnel first to fill out some kind of leave of absence paperwork before we left today."

I froze mid step.

Emmett turned to look back at me with a worried expression.

Going to personnel was going to take us right past the ER waiting room. I just wasn't ready to go there again. I pleaded with Emmett with my eyes.

He looked back apologetically, as he held my hand, pulling me to his side.

"I'm sorry, Bells, but you have to do this. I promise we won't go in there. We'll just walk past through the hallway as quickly as we can and then we'll leave. You don't even have to look in there if you don't want."

I sighed. My legs felt like I had thick heavy weights strapped to my ankles as we grew closer and closer to the waiting room. We had to simply cross the corridor that led to the waiting room as we walked down the hallway to personnel, but I could still feel the dread. As we approached the junction that led to the ER waiting area, Emmett pulled me closer to his side, making sure to place himself between me and the room. Four steps and we were past the corridor. I sighed, swallowing past the lump in my throat, as we walked up to the door for personnel and walked in.

It only took about five minutes to sign the paperwork. We exited the room and started walking toward the junction again. Before we reached it, I felt the need to stop in the middle of the hallway.

Emmett looked at me worriedly.

I put my hand to his chest, indicating for him to wait, as I stepped to the corner. I peeked down the hallway toward the waiting room. I didn't want to look, but somehow I knew that I needed to. If I couldn't even look at the room, then I might as well throw my whole intern year away.

My breathing was a bit labored. I felt some tears prickling in my eyes as I looked at the quiet tan waiting room filled with bright orange chairs, as my heart pounded hard in my chest.

Part of me was disquieted by how absolutely normal it all looked. Seeing it right now, you would never know that someone had held us hostage against that far wall and later died in the middle of the floor of that room. For some reason, the fact that everything seemed unaffected was more upsetting to me than if it still had the yellow caution tape up and officers milling around, taking pictures, and writing notes in little black flipbooks.

I stood blinking for a few minutes. I could feel my body shaking, but I wasn't reacting nearly as badly as I thought I would. I took a few deep breaths and wrapped my arms around my waist before turning back to Emmett. I nodded toward the direction we needed to continue walking.

He smiled at me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, and hugging me tightly into his side with three quick squeezes. He rested his cheek on the top of my head, pulling me along toward the main lobby.

I had thought that we would just eat somewhere close to the hospital and then drop off at the apartment for a while. Imagine my surprise when he stuffed me into a cab and took me fifteen minutes away to the little mom and pop restaurant that he and boys liked to go to that was near the station.

When we walked in, the owners came over, smiling and hugging Emmett. Then their gazes turned to me. I was shocked to see awe and reverence in their eyes as they ushered me into a seat, fawning over me as if I were the queen of England or something. They took my drink order and shuffled off. I looked over at Emmett bewildered.

Emmett looked at me and chuckled, "Just a little hero worship, sis. You've been so cut off from everything in that room that you don't realize what a local hero you happen to be right now."

"Excuse me? Local hero?"

He smiled, reaching across the table top to grab my hand. "Bella, you did something amazing in that room. You took care of everyone, kept them calm, treated the sick, and got them all out alive. Every single person in there with you that spoke to the media afterward went on and on about how you saved their lives. Your face as been on the news nearly every night since it all started."

I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around what Emmett was saying. It just didn't make any sense. Then again, not much had since Trager walked into that waiting room waving his guns around. The image popped into my head and I shivered at the memory with a long sigh. To my relief, I didn't melt into sobs this time, but I did feel every muscle in my body tense.

Soon the couple came back. I ordered the chicken and dumplings with mashed potatoes. They smiled widely before rushing away again. I played with the condiments on the table, slowly shredding my napkin in front of me, not really knowing what to do with myself as Emmett attempted to make small talk with me. Soon I heard voices behind us, several of whom I recognized. I glanced over my shoulder to see a large group of both uniformed and street clothed officers come in, talking loudly, and laughing together.

I smiled widely when my eyes landed on a mop of blonde hair and a shortly buzzed brown head next to it heading straight for me. I was about halfway out of my seat when I was whipped up out of it the rest of the way, held off the ground in a strong hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed back.

"Hi Jazz," I whispered in his ear. "Are you okay? I'm really sorry you know."

I felt my feet meet floor as I looked up to see his nose and under his eyes were still bruised. Thankfully, he no longer had to wear a bandage.

"I'm fine. You don't need to apologize, Bella. You weren't yourself."

I grimaced, nibbling on my lip sheepishly. "I know, but I still feel horrible about it."

He shooed my concerns off with his hand, motioning for Emmett to slide over into the other chair so he could sit next to him.

I turned to face Andy who was staring down at me with a frown. "Are you really okay, Bella Blue? I've been worried about you."

I smiled at his use of my old nickname because I refused to wear anything besides blue jeans when I first moved to Chicago. "I wouldn't say I'm okay, but hopefully I'll get there eventually. I'm better though."

He nodded, pulling me into a gentle, but loving hug. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, a gesture that I noticed was happening much more often since the whole mess. We both sighed. He let me go finally, sliding into the booth and pulling me in next to him.

The four of us sat and ate. I tried to joke with them and enjoy the time, but I often found my mind wandering, most of the time to Edward. I hoped that he was using his call button if he needed anything. I knew Edward, he would do his best not to use it, but with his orders to keep as still as possible, he really needed to. I really hoped Esme or someone decided to pop in for a visit while I was gone. It would go a long way to making me feel better about leaving him if they had.

Before we were done eating, a group of uniformed officers approached the tables. They talked to the guys a second before their gazes shifted to me. Their faces shifted a bit before looking back at Emmett. "So is this Masen's girl? The one who took out the perp at NW's ER?"

Emmett nodded and smiled at me. "She also happens to be my kid sister. Bella, this is Alan Campbell, Elliott Craigen, and Joey Spencer…guys this is Dr. Bella Swan."

They all looked at me with strange expressions before shaking my hand. They nodded at me, asking how Edward was doing and how I was. I answered their questions, thanking them for asking. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, they bid us goodbye and left.

Emmett, Jasper, and Andy all shot looks at each other over the table.

I looked at the three of them before sighing. "What? You three are doing that whole nonverbal communication thing. It's annoying, so share with the rest of the class."

Emmett looked at Jasper who looked back with a frown. Jasper finally sighed and looked back at me with a shrug. "That was just kind of interesting is all. Those three are the cockiest sons of bitches in this place, which since you know all of us, means a hell of a lot. We've never seen them show that much respect to anyone ever, not the rest of the officers, not their superiors, not the chief, and especially not any woman."

Emmett took a bite and mumbled through his full mouth while gesturing with his fork, "Yeah, and I'm not so sure I like it. I don't trust those douchebags."

I snorted and shook my head. "When it comes to me, you don't trust anybody, Em."

Jasper and Andy chuckled along, shaking their heads in agreement, as Emmett tried to defend himself.

"Not true, I trust Edward with you."

We all started laughing harder. I bent over at the waist and spat between giggles, "Not before giving him evil looks for a month and threatening his life if he screwed things up. You didn't start lightening up on him until after I moved in with him!"

I could tell he wanted to argue, but there was nothing to be said. Every word was true.

"So what's next for the two of you?" Andy asked looking at Em as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I thought I'd take her over to the gym at the station for a while."

I shot him an incredulous look.

He smirked at me. "Trust me, squirt, this will be something you'll enjoy. Rosalie stopped by your place and grabbed a pair of sweats and shit for you to change into in the women's locker room. Then you can come to the gym to chill with me for a while."

"Sweet, can I come too?" Jazz asked with a twinkle in his eye. "This I want to see!"

Emmett smiled and nodded. Andy expressed an interest in observing as well.

My stomach began to flutter in fear of what my brother had planned.

Fifteen minutes later, I was walking into the gym at the station in a pair of black yoga pants, black spaghetti strap tank top with red and white stripes along the side, and a pair of extremely white, new looking tennis shoes. My hair was secured high on my head in a ponytail. I looked around to find the boys all huddled in the corner near the big bag hanging from the ceiling. They were all smirking my way, fiddling with the radio.

I walked up to them curiously.

Emmett walked up to me holding a pair of boxing gloves. He slid them over my hands, securing the Velcro straps at the wrist, and began telling me that I was about to get out some aggression. He led me to the big bag and started telling me about form and the proper way to hold your hand to keep from injuring your wrists, arms, fingers, and such. Then he stepped behind the bag, telling me to give it a go. He nodded behind him at Andy who hit the play button on the stereo.

I stood there a second, listening to the music pump across the stereo as Prodigy's _Firestarter _filled the room. I stood like he told me and punched forward weakly, earning jeers from the boys. I took a couple more tentative hits and then my mind started to wander a bit. I thought about the frustrations of the past few days and my punches grew harder.

The boys cheered me on as I began to sweat, beating the bag with my right and then my left and then switching it up.

After a while, Jasper came over, showing me a few more punches.

I started to switch up with a few jabs and uppercuts.

The first song ended followed by Disturbed _Down With The Sickness_. Out of nowhere, something sparked a memory of when Trager walked into the waiting room. I felt rage fill me and something bubbled up from my chest that sounded like a growl. I attacked the bag with all the strength I could muster. When my arms got heavy and sore, I used my knees and feet to pummel the bag as hard as I could. Sometime in the middle of it all, I started the scream and shout, throwing all my anger into that damn bag. When I finally exhausted myself both physically and emotionally, I slumped to my knees on the floor, breathing hard and sobbing, but feeling lighter somehow.

I looked up to see a stunned Emmett, Jasper, and Andy, as well as a few others who walked in behind me. The three douchebags from the café were there as well.

Finally, Andy came over, offering me a hand.

I accepted it before standing up on wobbling legs.

He led me over to my stunned brother who opened his arms to me. Emmett held me close as I melted, completely exhausted, into his arms. He brushed his hands down my back, whispering he was sorry, as Jasper came over and began removing the gloves from my sore hands.

After a few minutes, I finally pulled myself together again. I wrapped my arms around Emmett's waist.

"No, it is okay, Emmett. It was a good thing. I think I needed that. Thank you."

He nodded, asking one of the female officers in the room to go grab my things for me. After she brought them to us, we climbed into Jasper's car.

They all drove me to the apartment where they helped me back to the bedroom I shared with Edward, leaving me alone to shower and change.

When I came out, I felt a million times better. I was pretty sore from beating the shit out of the workout bag. I was pretty sure my hands and knees would be bruised tomorrow, but it had really helped to exorcise some of my anger and frustration in a way that I hadn't been able to do as of yet.

I walked into the living room, flopping onto the couch next to Emmett who handed me two ibuprofen and a bottle of water, which I greedily drank down.

"So, was that really your idea or did Dr. Kellison suggest it?"

Emmett looked over surprised. "Well she didn't suggest that exactly, but she did say she wanted me to give you a chance to vent some of your frustrations to me. I figured a good old fashioned match with the bag was about the best way I knew to release pent up anger and frustration. My mistake was underestimating exactly how pent up you really were. Holy Shit, sis, I've never seen anyone go at that bag like that!"

I chuckled, resting my head on his shoulder. "What can I say; I've been feeling pretty fucking frustrated."

All the guys chuckled.

We sat for a little while, talking quietly, before they finally decided it was time to get me back to Edward.

We walked into his room to find Esme and Carlisle sitting with him, talking softly. Poor Edward looked exhausted, but when his eyes rested on me, a bright smile lit his face and his eyes twinkled excitedly.

"Hey, baby, I missed you. Did you have a good time with Emmett?"

I crossed the room, leaning down to kiss his forehead as I brushed a hand through his hair. "Yeah, baby, it was a good day. How was your day?"

He shrugged with his good shoulder, "Same as every other day here…sit as still as fucking possible, trying not to move while bored to tears."

I smiled compassionately until Edward looked at my hands and grimaced. "What the fuck? Emmett, what the hell did you do to my girl?"

Emmett shrugged from across the room, "I took her to the station and let her beat the shit out of the big hanging bag. Squirt went ape shit on the thing and bruised her hands and knees, but I think it did her some good. She told me it did anyway."

He looked up at me incredulously.

I smiled, running my hand through his hair again, nodding. "It felt good to purge some of the anger and frustration. I think I'm going to get him to take me again in a few days, once the bruises heal some. Maybe I won't get quite so aggressive next time."

Edward gestured for me to climb up on the bed with him.

I snuggled into his side as he kissed the top of my head, stroking my arm. He buried his nose in my hair above my ear. "Are you really okay, Bella?"

I sighed softly, "Yes, Edward, I'm really okay. I think this might be the first time since all of this happened that I could actually say that and mean it."

I lifted my head, kissing his lips gently, before turning back to say bye to Emmett as he excused himself. I sat and talked to Esme and Carlisle, who sat in their seats, smiling at us sweetly.

Carlisle asked how the meeting with Dr. Kellison went. I told him all about what she said and how I had reacted to the waiting room and the punching bag.

He smiled and nodded as he listened. A couple of hours later, they left.

I settled in with Edward to watch some TV and just relax. I knew I wasn't past this by a long shot, but for the first time since Trager walked into the waiting room, I felt the muscles in my back fully relax as I cuddled next to Edward. When it was time to go to bed, I did as Dr. Kellison suggested. I pulled the recliner as close to Edward's bed as I could, reaching out to hold his hand on the bed as we drifted off to sleep.

The nightmares came that night, just like every night, and I cried just like every night. I climbed into bed with Edward and let him calm me back down. Then I did as Dr. Kellison asked, returning to the recliner when I could. We held hands again, and the rest of the night, I was able to sleep without waking in tears.

_**Bella's not all better and she won't be overnight, but she's slowly opening up more and facing some of the trauma and slowly she's learning to cope a bit more. There are no easy fixes when someone faces a major trauma that leaves psychological scars, so this will take her a bit of time, but she's not giving up.**_


	35. Equivalency

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original characters or the any of the TV shows mentioned in this chapter.**

**Thanks as always to Sassenach Wench my Twilighted Jr. Validation Beta! **_**Thanks to my guest betas Crazycass and Noble Korhedron!**_

**I now have a blog for all of my stories. Go check it out :) acullenwannabe(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

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**Equivalency**

**EPOV**

I watched Bella walk out of the door and the selfish prick inside of me wanted to yell for her to come back. This fucking hospital was boring as hell. The only thing that made it even halfway tolerable was my girl. I could probably find a way to be happy living in a fucking sewer as long as I could have her with me.

I shifted a little in the bed, reaching for the remote control to turn on the TV in hopes of something to help lift the crushing silence and unbearable boredom of the room I was now stuck alone in, but even that tiny movement hurt like hell. I yelled out, glad that for once I could at least vocalize how much it hurt as much as I wanted without having to worry about Bella freaking out over me.  
While every little tiny movement hurt like hell, I did my absolute best to keep it to myself.

When I say everything hurt, I mean everything hurt. Every time she would curl up by my side, it was simultaneous pain and relief, but once she got settled, it was well worth it. Having her by my side was more important than anything, especially with how much it seemed to help her.

Listening to her tell me about what she went through after I was pulled into surgery during her first session with Dr. Kellison was almost too much to bear. She sobbed and shook, and fought so hard to be strong. I couldn't help but be proud of her. I've seen so many guys struggle with the feelings of guilt after making their first kills on the job. It doesn't matter if it was warranted or how many lives the person saved, taking a life takes a toll on someone's soul that you just can't understand until you've suffered through it yourself. Movies and books make it all sound so easy, but I knew from experience that it's pretty close to being the furthest thing from easy anyone will ever go through.

I flipped through channel after channel, hoping for something worth watching to show up on the screen, but instead found an endless parade of reality TV shows, boring daytime talk shows, and ridiculous soap operas. I finally landed on USA and noticed they were having a Psych marathon. Smiling, I settled back to see if there were any I had missed. Hell, even a day full of reruns was better than the rest of the shit the hospital had to offer.

I couldn't help but laugh at the antics of Shawn and Gus, which hurt like fuck every time I did it. The first episode had just stopped and the next was just about to start when I heard a knock at the door, followed by Dr. Kellison stepping through, smiling brightly at my confused face.

"Hi, Edward, I'm sorry to bother you. I just wanted to speak with you a couple of seconds about Bella in private. Is now a good time?"

I nodded and she stepped in, taking a seat in the plastic chair at the end of the bed again. She crossed her legs, sitting up straight as she continued to smile at me.

"Today went better than I had expected. I just got a phone call from Emmett. Carlisle and I asked him to take her down to personnel, which forced them to walk past the waiting room for the ER, before he took her out for the day."

I tensed when she mentioned her going down by the ER and frowned, but then relaxed a bit when she continued to smile brightly.

"She did great, Edward, so much better than either of us had expected. She averted her eyes going past the first time, but the second time she actually stopped and looked down the hallway, taking her first step in facing her fear. It was hard for her. She cried and reacted in a slightly negative fashion, but it was still amazing progress so soon after the event in question. She has a strong will and a stubborn persistence. It's going to take her some time, but I honestly believe that she is going to do very well very quickly."

I sighed and let loose a breath I wasn't even aware I was holding which stabbed in my chest causing me to wince. Dr. Kellison shot me a concerned expression to which I shook my head letting her know I was fine.

"That's good to hear, Doc. Do you think she's going to be able to finish her intern year? I really don't want her to have to repeat it over all of this that was so out of her control."

Dr. Kellison frowned. "I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you, Edward. I will have to make my final judgment call on her ability to perform Wednesday evening after her review."

My eyes grew wide, "You're the one who is doing her review."

She nodded silently, frowning down at my blankets on my feet.

"From what you've seen so far, do you have any idea which way you are leaning?"

She looked up apologetically and my heart sank.

"I really can't say right now, Edward. Let's see how she handles the next couple of days. In the meantime, do your best to help her keep to my suggestions tonight about your sleeping habits and just be as supportive as you can. Emmett informed me that he's taking her to a gym and letting her release some aggression on a punching bag. I'm hoping she takes the opportunity to vent some of her pain and frustrations. He said he'll have her back in a few hours after she works with the bag for a while and then she gets a chance to go home, clean up, and pick up some new clothes."

I smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Kellison."

"Thank YOU, Edward. I'm absolutely positive that this situation would be much more difficult for Bella if she didn't have you to lean on."

I nodded and watched as she gracefully rose from the chair and strode out of the room. I took in a deep breath out of habit, causing the sharp pain in my chest to flare again. I groaned as I released the breath. I dropped my head back on my pillow and closed my eyes as my good hand tugged hard at my hair. All I could think was that I sincerely hoped Emmett knew what he was doing and didn't push Bella too far.

I had just drifted into a nice deep wallow when I heard another knock at the door. The knock was followed by the nurse and a doctor. The nurse set about the room checking my IV and other things as the doctor asked me several questions. I answered in a bored monotone voice, sick to death of answering the same questions for the third time already today.

Just when I thought I was going to get some peace as the nurse and doctor began to leave the room, another knock filled the air and the chief stepped into the room along with the dipshit trio, Campbell, Craigen, and Spencer.

"Hey, Masen, we met your girl today," Craigen said with a smug smile that make me want to beat the living shit out of him. "She's hot as fuck, man. She has a slammin' ass that I'd love to bang all night long. Think you can toss her my way when you get your fill and finally move on?"

I jerked out of instinct then screamed out in pain as my chest sent white hot pain through my body, temporarily blinding me with a bright haze. I screamed out a trail of obscenities before finally calming down enough to yell at the fucker still smiling smugly at me.

"You fucking son of a bitch, someday I'll be healed up from this fucking gunshot wound and then I'll beat you black and blue, you piece of shit. Nobody talks about my girl like that, you mother fucker!"

Campbell threw up his hands, "Chill, Masen, chill, Elliott was just pulling your leg man. You know he's a prick like that, and you also know he stole all of his best lines from you. Fuck, you would have been saying the same thing to him three months ago if situations were reversed."

I grumbled and crossed my arms over my chest in a huff. He was fucking right, but I'd still be damned if anyone would ever talk about Bella that way.

"Enough, you hooligans," the chief finally spoke up in his gruff voice. "We're not here to have a pissing contest. We're actually here to update you on the whole Sellers situation. The feds have given up looking for him. He's gone completely off the grid. What we did discover is that he is the cousin to Blagojevich's wife, with eyes on taking over the empire with Blagojevich out of the way. Word on the street is that he actually tipped off the feds about the warehouse and Trager in an attempt to provide damning evidence to get rid of the man, opening the market for him to take over completely."

"The FBI found that within minutes of Trager taking over the ER, he booked a flight to the Bahamas. He apparently had some very lucrative off shore accounts hidden there that he emptied before hopping another flight to Europe and just simply vanished. He left everything behind. We have everything we need to take down Blagojevich and to take Sellers out for good if they ever catch back up with him."

I nodded along assuming as much. As soon as Bella told us about Sellers being a person of interest during her first phone call during the standoff, I had a feeling it was something along those lines. My instincts had certainly been right about him, he was a total fucking slime ball, as crooked as a snake.

"The three detectives here will be our liaisons with the feds concerning this situation from here on out. The full Chicago PD will no longer have an active role in the Blagojevich case. If you find out any new information, or have any concerns about this situation, then you can direct them to one of these three."

I nodded and the chief downshifted to a short stint of uncomfortable small talk before dismissing himself with Craigen and Campbell following. I looked up confused a bit when Spencer stayed behind, frowning down at my blankets and shuffling his feet.

"Anything wrong, Spencer?"

He shook his head, looking up with a concerned look on his face. I had to admit, Joey was actually a decent guy. Why he was all buddy-buddy with the other two shitheads was beyond me.

"Uh, I just thought I should tell you that when we saw your girlfriend today in the gym, she was totally flipping out on the bag. I've never seen somebody break out so hard on that thing, and I've seen you and Emmett go at it when you're pissed off. It was hard to believe someone so tiny had so much power inside her."

He cleared his throat looking into my eyes again. "She's taking it pretty rough, but she seems tough, then again, she has to be to tame someone like you." He chuckled.

I snorted in response trying not to laugh and aggravate my lung.

"I've seen how you've changed since you've been with her. I can see she's good for you. Take good care of her. She's a rare one."

I nodded knowingly. "Yeah, and you don't even really know her. She's even better on the inside."

He nodded with a small smile before ducking out the doorway and disappearing down the hall. I smiled, knowing exactly who I would be dealing with if the situation arose that required me to 'liaise' with the FBI about Sellers.

After Spencer left, it seemed like my room had a fucking revolving door on it as I saw more visitors in the next two hours than I had seen my whole visit in the hospital so far. First was Elizabeth and Tanya, who stayed for a very tense twenty minutes before begging off to go find some supper for Tanya and her ever growing fetus. After that, some of the guys from the other SWAT crews and the two new guys to our unit came strolling in and out.

Every single one of them marveled at Bella, asking how she was holding up. Most of them had been where she was now to some degree. The only difference is we're trained for those situations and go in knowing that today might be the day that we have to kill a man, but Bella never had that kind of mental preparation, which was making this even harder than it had been for any of us.

I got about ten minutes of peace, suddenly grateful for the boring quiet of my empty hospital room. When the next knock rung in the room, I groaned quietly and rolled my eyes before seeing my parents walk in. Instantly my mood shifted.

"Mom! Dad! I'm glad you're here!"

They both beamed at me, rushing across the room to hug me. My mom kissed my forehead and then persisted in wiping away the red lipstick mark that she left behind. As they settled on either side of my bed, we fell into a comfortable conversation. They asked how I was feeling and about Bella, pleased to hear of her progress and telling me how proud they were that I was being so attentive to her...like I would be anything but...pfft!

We were just moving on to small talk about their jobs when the room brightened a thousand fold as my girl walked in, looking all smiley and relaxed. I couldn't resist glowing right back at her. She looked more at ease than she had since the night before the standoff.

She rushed to my side and kissed me.

I picked up her hands to check them after what Spencer had told me about her session with the bag. I felt myself getting angry at Emmett for not wrapping her hands before he put her in the gloves. I called him out on it and he bragged about how she went 'apeshit' on the bag, which actually wasn't news to me. He didn't miss my narrowed eyes and kept his visit brief before bugging out, leaving me alone with my girl and my parents.

I loved having my three favorite people in the whole world in that tiny room with me. If I hadn't been in so much fucking pain, it would have been damn close to paradise. I started planning right then to schedule a weekend getaway with Bella and my parents once we were all feeling better, maybe to the beach house or something.

My parents left about an hour later. Bella and I settled back in the bed to watch Psych together for a while until she started yawning deeply. I suggested she get ready for bed. She pulled the recliner so close to the side of the bed that the fake leather material made a squeaking noise against the rail of the bed every time she shifted. I would much rather her be in bed with me, but this would have to do...it was in her best interest after all. We held hands and soon we were both sleeping deeply.

I had no clue what time it was when she woke up screaming and climbed into the bed with me. I held her and stroked her hair, reminding her it was all over, and that I loved her more than anything ever.

It took about twenty minutes before she was finally calm enough to climb back onto her chair. She held my hand tighter, but she stood firm and managed to sleep the rest of the night in the recliner.

The nurse woke me up at six thirty when she came in to change the IV bag and add another dose of antibiotics to the line. Thankfully, Bella slept through it. I just stared over at her as she rested peacefully in the recliner next to my bed, her fingers still curled with mine. Her forehead was smooth and there was a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth. All I could do was smile at this amazing creature laying next to me that just so happened to be mine.

I lay there worshipping her with my eyes for about half an hour before those beautiful brown eyes fluttered open and then closed before opening once more as a dazzling smile overtook her face.

"Good morning, Edward."

"Good morning, Bella. How was the rest of your night?"

She yawned and stretched her left arm up into the air, wiggling her fingers lazily, before dropping back down to a relaxed state in the chair. She frowned a little like she was trying to remember and then smiled brightly at me.

"Good...really good actually, I dreamed of the beach house."

I smiled and squeezed her hand with a wink. "And what exactly was happening at the beach house in your dreams?"

She smiled sheepishly and blushed. I felt a smug smirk form on my lips as the blood in my body rushed to my lower hemisphere. I was missing the feel of her body so much it wasn't even funny. Yesterday, when she teased me, I was about ready to explode just from the mere suggestion, but knowing she was dreaming about us was even more encouraging. I was glad she was missing it as much as I was.

"Tell me, love."

She shook her head, burying her face in the crook of her elbow and I couldn't suppress the chuckle that bubbled up painfully from my belly.

"Bella, we've done some pretty amazing and kinky things together, yet you can't even tell me about a dream about the two of us without pulling an ostrich and hiding your face?" I dug my fingers between her face and her arm tipping her up to look at me. "You are far too adorable for words, Bella Swan."

She giggled and shook her head before getting up and going to the restroom after grabbing her overnight bag. She emerged shortly after, dressed for the day with her hair secured in a ponytail once more. She walked over, scooting the recliner a sliver further away from the bed. She settled into it with a smile before picking up my remote, hitting the power button where the marathon continued to play. She giggled at the inventive way the writers had insinuated the pineapple into the episode that was already in progress.

**BPOV**

Dr. Kellison came in at eleven o'clock as she had the day before. We chatted for a while in Edward's room before she asked me to take a walk with her. We chatted leisurely as we wandered through the hallways of the hospital. I smiled and chatted with a few of the doctors and nurses as we passed by and made our way to the third floor where we bumped into the rest of the Femmes on rounds.

They all rushed over to hug me, apologizing for not visiting more. They had been stuck on graveyards over the weekend and finally were back to days starting that morning. My resident advisor, Dr. K, hugged me. She pulled me aside to talk to me, encouraging me, and telling me how proud she was. She invited me to step into a couple of rooms with them as they continued their rounds.

Everyone watched warily as I stood behind the group, watching them interact with the patients. My heart ached in my chest because I really wished I could be an active part of the group. There was a comfort and familiarity with the job that I was really missing today. I had never gone so long without working a shift on the floor, and while yes, things had been traumatizing, and I wanted to take care of Edward, I was really aching to get in there and help. Then I remembered that working meant spending half the day in the ER, and my heart froze mid beat. A chill filled my chest and I began to worry that I might never be able to finish the year.

I was lost deep in thought when Dr. Kellison pulled me back into the hallway and led me toward the wing where her office was held. She led me inside and offered for me to sit on the soft fluffy brown couch as she settled across from me in a wide matching chair.

She settled in, crossing her legs, and cocking her head at me. "Bella, could you share with me what you were feeling while we were in that room with your colleagues?"

As I told her how I was feeling, I saw a twinkle in her eyes, while I told her about my ache to join in and how I was missing my job. She smiled brightly for a moment but it faded when I explained the fear that gripped me, and the chill that filled my body at the thought of working the ER rotation. She furrowed her brow for a moment, studying her slacks, before nodding lightly and looking back up again with a small smile.

"I need to make one more stop, and then we'll head back up to your Edward, okay?"

I nodded, following as we left her office and made our ways through the maze of corridors. We went through a service corridor lined with pipes and lacking of color before we emerged from a set of double doors.

I felt my breath catch hard as I found myself standing in the middle of the ER hallway. I was only about fifteen feet from the junction where Edward had grabbed my arm telling me that they were going to get me out when I went to get the gurney for my diabetic patient.

I felt dizzy as I looked around the corridor at the hustle and bustle of the ER in full swing. When my eyes landed on the corner again, the memory of Edward's hand on my arm and his soothing voice in my ear flooded to the surface. I felt my heart slow a bit, and some of my tension melting. Not everything that happened that day was totally horrific. My Edward had been there for me, even in the midst of the worst of things. He was there for me then and he was still there for me now.

I swallowed hard and willed my body to calm a bit more. I knew I wasn't in any condition to work, but I was determined to stand there and not go into full on panic mode. Dr. Kellison observed me quietly with a small supportive smile. After several minutes of me not completely freaking out, she smiled brightly and nodded, gesturing for me to follow her back through the corridor through which we had just come.

The further away from the ER I got, the better I felt. Eventually, we returned to Edward's door and Dr. Kellison put her hand on my shoulder, smiling widely at me.

"You did fantastic, Bella. You continue to exceed my expectations. Go enjoy your time with Edward and relax. I want you to try to sleep at either Emmett's or Dr. Cullen's tonight. Edward has agreed to talk to you as much and as long as you need to in order to help you get through. Can you try that tonight?"

I gulped, feeling the tears welling in my eyes. After a while, I nodded gently. I didn't want to spend the night away, but I knew I had to. It was going to be harder than anything so far, but I had to try.

I spent the rest of the day clinging to Edward's side, dreading leaving him for the night. I wanted to stay positive, but I knew what the night was going to bring. I couldn't help but fear it with all my being.

I called Emmett around seven, asking if it would be okay if I stayed with him and Rosalie for the night. I had debated going to the Cullen house, thinking that staying in Edward's childhood room would help me feel close enough to him that it might help stave off the flashback nightmares, but in the end, I chose physical proximity of only being four blocks away over the alternative.

Emmett was excited for me to stay, hopping off right away to set up the guest room for me before promising to come and pick me up. He showed up an hour later. He watched sympathetically as I struggled with myself to leave Edward's side.

Edward did his best to comfort and encourage me. He promised to stay on the phone as long as I needed and be ready to answer if I needed him at any point during the night.

An hour later, I finally peeled myself away from his room with one final deep goodbye kiss and a long tearful hug. I felt shame that I was so dependent on him. I had never been one who clung to my loved ones quite so fiercely in the physical sense, but this whole situation was bringing out weaknesses in me that I had never known about myself before.

It was ten o'clock when I finally settled between the sheets on the blow up mattress in the floor of my previous bedroom, which was now slowly converting to a nursery. The walls were already painted a cheerful light yellow with a border traveling around the circumference of the room at chair rail level with cute little animals riding in train cars that had the alphabet on them. I smiled thinking of how completely spoiled and smart this baby was going to be with these two in charge.

I settled my head back into the pillow. I flipped open my cell phone, dialing Edward's room. He picked up on the second ring. We talked on and on about meaningless things until both of our bodies gave up on us, interrupting every other sentence with loud disruptive yawns.

"Love, I think we need to be trying to sleep now."

My voice sounded so small and weak even to me, "I know...I'm just...scared."

"I know, love, but you can do this. I know you can."

"Can you just keep talking to me a little longer?" I whispered.

"Of course, my beautiful Bella, I would do anything for you."

Our voices grew steadily quieter. Finally, he began to hum very lightly into the phone. I wondered if it was hurting him to hum, but I didn't want to interrupt the beautiful tune he was weaving with his velvety voice.

The next thing I knew, I was back in the harsh light of the waiting room. Trager was standing in front of us, pointing his gun at the middle of my forehead, screaming at us. I started screaming that this couldn't be happening again, that I couldn't go through this again, and then the lights shut off.

The whole thing happened all over again as I could smell the sour odor of Trager's sweat on his arm as he held it across my body with my arms trapped in his grip. I could feel the cold barrel of the gun pressed against my temple. The sounds of the guys echoed in my ear as my hand tore free from Trager's grasp, and I reached into my pocket and the syringe wasn't there. A moment later, he yelled at me that if I moved he would blow my brains out. He let go of me to reach into his pocket, pulling out the trigger. The second the trigger is in the open, the yelling got louder. I heard a gun shot seconds before the whole room became full of bright light and loud roaring fire as screams erupted for a second before everything fell into a white empty silence.

I sat up, screaming, sweat streaming down my face and neck. I held the blanket to my chest as my throat clenched with the scream that I couldn't seem to stop. It was like I was no longer in control of my voice box or my lungs. Something else had taken over.

A second later, Emmett was kneeling by my side, shaking me and yelling for Rose to get my phone. He wrapped his arms around my body and stroked my hair as he rocked me. He asked me what the dream was. I rambled on trying to explain, but my words were a garbled mess between my mental state and the sobs that were making my shoulders shake and my gasping breaths.

Soon, Rosalie held the phone to my ear. I heard Edward's voice on the other end, speaking in soothing tones.

I fought to balance my breathing, but I couldn't as I gasped for air. I tried to speak, but I couldn't form the words. The sound of Edward's voice just wasn't helping. Finally, I turned to Emmett and started yelling that I needed him to take me to Edward, now.

"Bella, no, you're supposed to stay here. The doctor said..."

"I don't give a fuck what the doctor says. I need Edward NOW!" I screeched between gasps.

I heard Edward on the phone, sounding more frantic, as I started throwing a tantrum for Emmett to take me to Edward. This wasn't working and I knew there was only one thing that was going to reset me back to a calmer state.

"No, Bella! You can't! If you go in there then you won't get to finish the program!"

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" I screamed at my grief stricken brother.

"You're doing so much better than they thought, but I have a feeling that if you can't handle this, then they're going to recommend you take the rest of the year off and start over in the fall. You've worked too hard for this, Bella. I'm not going to watch you throw it away. You can do this, sweetheart. Edward's here for you, he's on the phone. Talk to him and figure out how that will be enough. If you don't, I have a very strong feeling that you won't pass your review. Please, Bella."

I watched Emmett beg me as he knelt in front of me, his big strong personality hidden behind his discouraged slumped shoulders and sad desperate eyes. I took a deep breath, letting it out with a loud gush, as the tears started to flow silently now.

I swallowed hard and nodded as I put the phone back to my ear. "Edward?"

"I'm here, baby. You're alright. It's all going to be okay. Just talk to me, baby. Tell me about it."

I told him all about my dream as Emmett and Rosalie sat on the bed with me, listening and running comforting hands over my arm and back.

"It wasn't really a flashback, but it was more how things could have gone so wrong if I had screwed things up any worse. I see what you're saying now, Edward. Things could have been much worse."

I heard Edward sigh on the phone. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to plant those thoughts in your mind and make you have a bad dream. I'm glad that your subconscious seems to be slowly working things out and showing you that you did what you had to do though."

I nodded and sighed.

We all sat and talked for another hour while I slowly sipped two chamomile teas that Rose brought me before we all finally settled back into bed.

The rest of my night was filled with tossing and turning as I continued to have haunting visions of the standoff. Each time, they ended a little differently. One thing changed and the whole end result was different. Sometimes everyone survived, sometimes nobody survived, but they were all equally distressing.

I didn't wake up screaming or throwing any more tantrums to see Edward, although I did call him three more times before I got up for the day at seven the next morning. I hadn't made it on my own. I had leaned very heavily on my brother, sister in law, and Edward's voice, but I did survive the night without being in his arms and I felt that was a small victory.

I dressed early and stopped at the bakery on my way to the hospital smuggling contraband pastries for Edward and I to nibble on together. As soon as I walked in and saw him, I felt extremely guilty. He had much darker rings under his eyes and looked completely exhausted as he lay in his bed, but still managed a bright smile for me when I walked in.

We ate in peace. I snuggled into his side, grateful for the physical comfort after the long night we had endured on the phone together. We drifted off for a couple of short cat naps before the time came for me to make my way down to Dr. Kellison's office at eleven for my official review.

I walked in and took my seat on the couch next to Dr. Cullen. Dr. Kellison was in the big chair and Dr. Vandice was sitting in its mate next to her. I swallowed nervously and fidgeted with my shirt hem as they all smiled encouragingly at me.

They asked how the night went. I was honest with them, telling them about the change in my nightmares, and how my brain seemed to be shifting through the alternative endings to the story if my decisions had been different. Finally, when I was finished, Dr. Kellison asked me what I thought that my new dreams meant. I sighed, reaching forward to pick up the Styrofoam cup of water that Dr. Kellison had offered me when I first sat down.

I took a deep breath after I finished my sip, squaring my shoulders to look at my audience, addressing them as forthright as I could.

"I think it means that my mind is finally starting to process that I handled the situation the best way I could. I was in an impossible situation and every decision I made was life or death for someone. In the end, my actions saved the most possible people. While it's difficult to make peace with the fact that I took a life, in the overall scheme of things, it had to be done or more lives would have been lost."

The three doctors nodded with pleased smiles. Dr. Kellison went on to explain to the other men what we had discussed throughout the week and my reactions to the tests she had set up for me over the past two days. It was at this point that it truly dawned on me that I had been under review for the past three days. Dr. Kellison was slowly gathering data and observations about how I was handling things in order to make her final judgment and recommendation today. Dr. Cullen would represent the hospital's interests and Dr. Vandice would represent the Med School Board's.

Dr. Vandice listened with a somber gaze, nodding occasionally at Dr. Kellison's observations and inferences. Finally, she reached the end of her report. She took a deep breath and squeezed her hands tightly together in her lap as though she were nervous.

"She handled the ER visit amazingly well considering, but I feel she's still not ready to practice in the ER,"

I watched Dr. Vandice's face morph into a stony look of decision as my heart stopped. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes until I heard her continue to speak.

"However, I feel that she is fully capable of practicing as long as she is not placed in the environment in which the trauma took place until after she's had more time to process the situation and come to terms with all that happened. I know this is an unusual request, but I also feel that this is a unique situation. I was hoping that perhaps the board would allow her to take part in alternative training until she was ready to work in the ER again. The rest of the class is still about six weeks away from starting their specialty work, but I thought, perhaps Dr. Swan could begin her rotation early. Allow her to be with the rest of her class during morning rounds, and then send her up to assist on the pediatric floor when the rest move down to the ER."

Dr. Vandice scowled and shook his head as he looked at Dr. Kellison incredulously. "This is not how our program is run. This curriculum is set in a particular pattern for a reason. It is important that the students follow the set curriculum. If we start making exceptions then it will be expected for every student."

Dr. Kellison scowled back, crossing her arms over her chest as her back grew more rigid. "Well, if every student underwent a situation such as Dr. Swan and managed to save over thirty lives and save this hospital billions of dollars worth of lawsuits and investigations, then I would say that they would deserve special consideration as well."

I watched their verbal sparring with wide eyes amazed. The length to which Dr. Kellison was going to defend my right to finish out my internship year in an alternative program was astounding to me. I glanced over at Carlisle, who was watching back and forth as well with furrowed brow.

After several minutes of argument, he spoke up, interrupting the two. "If I may have a word as a representative of the hospital in this review, I agree with Dr. Kellison's assessment. I see no reason why Dr. Swan can't begin her specialty early. If there was ever a litmus test for how well a doctor can handle him or herself in the field, it was the experience that she had that day. Perhaps we could officially equate it to an equivalency exam, and allow her to advance slightly prematurely to her next level of training."

Dr. Vandice began to spar with Carlisle, but Carlisle refused to let it continue on for very long before he slammed his hand on his knee and interrupted.

"Daniel, can you honestly say that any of the rest of that class of students would have handled the situation with even one tenth of the professionalism and skill that Dr. Swan did? You have seen the tapes, she was remarkable!"

"And I'm sure that your son's relationship with Dr. Swan has no bearing on your admiration for her actions at all, do they Carlisle?"

The room dropped into grave silence. I glanced at Carlisle, noting that if he were a cartoon character, steam would be emanating from his ears. Dr. Kellison looked completely shocked and stricken at Dr. Vandice's accusation while Dr. Vandice looked smug as he sat with his arms crossed in the chair over his rounded belly.

"In all the years I have worked with you, Daniel, I have never been so offended by your words and actions. If you would get out of the classroom occasionally and step back into the field, you would see that the world of academia should be more flexible, as we have to be every day in our work. It is no wonder that the med schools of this country are being accused of fostering unprepared students for the rigors of the actual field. You have become so rigid in your thinking, that you would impugn the noble actions of one of your own students, which you should be touting and pointing out as a model to which the others should aspire, simply to avoid admitting that there are times that your curriculum could be better served by providing exceptions."

"Yes, my son is in love with this woman, as well he should be. She holds every virtue that we as doctors, and that I as a human being, deem valuable. I would value her even if she didn't hold my son's heart, for the very same reasons. If you punish her for standing up and doing what's right and taking care of those in a dire situation, then you might as well be telling that whole class to look out for number one and sit back and watch as they slowly remove themselves from all high risk surgeries, cases, and situations."

Dr. Vandice's smugness melted away the longer Carlisle spoke. By the end of his speech, he looked stricken and panicked. After a few more minutes of debate between the triad, I was asked to step out into the hallway and wait in the seat outside the door. Twenty minutes later, a beaming Carlisle stepped out and asked me to come back in.

I sat in wonder as Dr. Vandice thanked me for my heroic behavior and stated that they would be following ALL of Dr. Kellison's recommendations. He stated that I would be given the rest of the week to heal a bit more and then would be expected to report for morning rounds the following Monday. I stood in shock. I shook the man's hand, thanking him earnestly, before he stepped out of the room with Dr. Kellison beside him. After they stepped through the door, I turned to Carlisle, hugging him and thanking him from the bottom of my heart. He hugged me back and smiled down at me, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"You deserve it, Bella. You are going to be one hell of a doctor."

I blushed and thanked him, giving him one last hug, as Dr. Kellison entered the room. I turned and hugged her as well, thanking her for defending me, and for her suggestions. Ten minutes later, I walked back toward Edward's room with a card in hand for an appointment with Dr. Kellison again the next day.

I walked in to find Edward staring at me with a nervous expression. It melted into relief mixed with pure joy as I explained the whole situation, and how I was going to start my specialty rounding early, as I climbed next to him on the bed. He hugged me with his good hand and told me how proud he was of me. He stroked my cheek with his hand, before pulling me down into a long slow kiss.

We spent the rest of the day between his numerous visitors resting blissfully together and kissing every chance we got. I felt this strange combination of relief, excitement, and nervousness. Finally, everything seemed to be turning in the right direction again. I hoped I really was ready for the new challenges of my new placement.

That night, I slept in the recliner by Edward's bed again. For the first time, my nightmares weren't accompanied by waking up in a panic of tears and screaming. They were still horrible, but now I knew I was going to get through it. With my family and friends at my side, I could get through anything.

* * *

_For any of you living out of the US, I have to explain the show Psych. Perhaps it's made it across the pond, perhaps not, but I'll still share. Psych is about this guy whose father was a police detective and taught him to be super observant, but he's a bit of a lazy guy who doesn't do well with authority figures and is really goofy, so being a real police officer is not really in the cards. So instead, he uses his gift of observation and pretends to be psychic revealing the things he learned as though he's having a vision. He's really smart and his best friend Gus helps him. They have a psychic detective agency and work for the local police department. A silly little thing they do in the show is that in every single episode they find some way to have a pineapple in at least one shot. You never know where, when, or how they will use the pineapple. I'm not describing it well, but it's a great show and actually one of the few I actually take time to watch these days. My absolute favorite shows are Psych and Bones, but I'll save Bones for another day, but let's just say that David Boreanaz being my Dr. Sellers was in no small part thanks to watching an episode of Bones the night before I wrote his character!_


	36. Crankward

**Disclaimer: I have no claim over the source material.**

**Thank you as always to my betas Sassenach Wench and Sihaya9 and my Pediatric ICU pal Kimpy for all her help sorting out my medical terminology.**

**This chapter has been edited for adult content. Go to my profile for links to the unedited versions.**

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**Crankward**

**BPOV**

After discussing it with Edward and Dr. Kellison, we decided that I could spend every other night with Edward in the hospital while staying with Emmett and Rose the other nights until Edward's release.

Thursday morning, a flow of doctors came in and out of Edward's room as though it had a revolving door separating it from the hallway. Surgeons came to check up on his incision before removing half of the staples, stating they were extremely pleased with his progress.

Next came the orthopedic doctors who examined the new x-rays of his ribs. They griped about the delay in casting his torso and admonished him for moving too much. The poor man has stayed as still as humanly possible this entire time though, so I really don't know what he could have done differently. They finally sighed and agreed that the sweaty environment of the cast would have definitely increased the likelihood of infection. After a discussion with the surgeons, they decided that the incision was healed to a point that the risk of infection was greatly diminished. They placed orders for Edward's torso and right shoulder to be cocooned in a plaster cast later this afternoon.

Edward grumbled after they left. I sighed deeply, internally knowing that the reality was going to be even worse. My fairly reasonable and patient boyfriend was about to disappear completely.

Men, as a rule, are tough and strong on a daily basis, but you injure them, keep them from doing the things they want to do, or make them even the slightest bit dependent on others and they become the most irritable colicky babies you've ever seen. I suspected that Edward was going to be a shining example of that tendency.

The ortho consults were followed by physical therapists who came in to touch base, discuss timelines for when he would begin basic therapy and how they would progress to get him back on the job as soon as was reasonably possible without causing more harm.

Later, respiratory therapists came in. They began Edward on breathing exercises to help him rehabilitate his scarred lung tissue as he cursed and complained about the pain with each new exercise. Yes, it was going to be a very LONG recovery!

A few visitors tried to pop in throughout the day, but quickly left to make way for the swarm of doctors who were pestering and irritating my already cantankerous boyfriend. Finally around three in the afternoon, the parade of medical professionals stopped and we were left with a short stretch of peace and quiet as Edward's exhausted head flopped back against the pillow with a long languished growl.

"I'm going to fucking kill somebody, Bella! This is ridiculous!" He huffed; his face flushed an angry red tone.

"I know, baby, but its all necessary," I whispered, settling on the side of his bed and running my fingers comfortingly. "Bodies take a while to heal. If you don't let yourself heal properly, you will have more problems on down the road. Just try to get through all of this. It will be worth it later, I promise." I bent down and kissed his forehead and then gently moved to his mouth.

Before I knew what was happening, his lips parted and his tongue invaded my surprised mouth with fervor. I could feel his tension and desperation in the kiss. His good hand snaked into my hair, pulling me closer. A moan rumbled in his chest, yet he was so into the kiss that he didn't even flinch in pain the way he had been doing lately.

A minute or so later, he pulled away, panting hard, and cocking a smirk at me. "Respiratory therapy my ass, I'll just kiss the hell out of my girl for a while. It's definitely a much more pleasant way to practice holding my breath and panting shallowly."

I giggled, leaning down to peck his lips again as my hands lightly massaged his jaw. He closed his eyes and leaned his face into my hand, sighing softly. His eyes slowly opened, the bright green was slightly darkened.

"I miss you, baby. I miss feeling your skin, and tasting your body, and feeling the warmth of you surrounding me. I know I'm being an ass today, but I'm frustrated in every way a man can be frustrated. I just want to go home! I'm sick of being stuck in this fucking bed, not able to move, and having to piss in a damn bottle because I'm not even allowed to go to the head! I'm sick of not being able to get more than a couple of hours of sleep at a time thanks to the endless procession of people coming in to poke and prod me and shove pills down my throat! And most of all, I'm sick of being close to you and not being able to touch you the way I really want to and not having you touch me back. It's driving me fucking insane, baby! I need a release! I really need you to help me, baby. I'm dying here!"

He grabbed my hand and shoved it down to the top of his pelvis, under the blanket where his very hard and very prominent erection stood. Just from the feel, I could tell it must have been incredibly painful. I looked up at his pleading eyes apologetically.

"Oh my poor Edward, you must be so uncomfortable, but baby, I can't do that now! Anyone could come in here any moment. Not only that, I work here. It could totally destroy my reputation. All of that aside, it could really hurt you to do that. I don't want to cause a setback, making you stay here longer."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes in disgust and frustration followed quickly by snapping at me with venom lacing his voice. "Damn it, Bella, it's a fucking hand job! How the hell is playing with my dick going to hurt my chest?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand away, moving back to the side of bed, and removing all physical contact with his body. "Because it isn't just your dick involved in the process, baby. When you climax, your whole body tenses up. As a rule, you arch off the bed and grab hard to the sheets and breathe really, really heavily, like the way the therapists said to avoid breathing. Any one of those reactions could set you back for weeks. I don't want to set you back, baby. I know you need the release, but you'll be even worse off if you hurt yourself."

He grumbled and crossed his good arm over his body, rolling his eyes and refusing to look at me. After waiting a couple of minutes to see if he would calm down and look at me again, I finally gave up. I got up from the bed to sit in the recliner and peruse some reading material Carlisle had given me to prepare me for my new afternoon rotations in pediatrics. There were many areas of pediatrics to check into, but he decided I would be best served by starting on the infectious diseases hallway.

I tried to focus on the pages full of information about the protocols of the hallway and read a little more about the doctors who specialized in that area, but I found it hard. I knew he was hurting and frustrated, but how he was acting hurt my feelings anyway. I was just trying to look out for his best interests, which were above all to get the heck out of his hospital to heal in a more peaceful environment at home.

Occasionally, I would hear him sigh from his bed and huff, followed by the sheets rustling quietly. Finally, after half an hour, I heard his throat clear across the room. I glanced up to peek at him to see him frowning over at me sadly.

I got up and walked to the side of his bed. "Do you need anything, sweetheart?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his mouth. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm being such an ass. I'm just so frustrated and uncomfortable and, as stupid as it sounds, it sort of hurt my feelings when you rejected the idea. I'm just being a fucking baby, but you're right on all counts. I'm sorry. You're the fucking doctor. I should listen to you because you know what damage I could do if I push myself too fast. I'm so sorry, baby."

I ran my hands through his hair and sighed. "I know, baby. It's hard," I snorted, "both literally and figuratively."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled slightly.

"But I promise you that as soon as I think it will be safe for you, I will give you a very long, extra special oral treat, okay?"

His eyes twinkled. His hips shifted a little under the blankets, making me giggle. "Promise?"

I smiled and leaned down to kiss him gently but also seductively, teasing his mouth with my tongue. I tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth as I pulled away, earning a moan.

"That's just cruel until it's actually safe, you know?"

I sighed, "Sorry, just wanted to give you a preview. I promise not to do that again until you can participate more fully."

He let go of my hand and patted the bed next to him. "Can I at least touch you?"

I sat up wide-eyed. "No baby, that wouldn't be fair to you. Not only that, I don't want you to strain yourself that way either."

He really rolled his eyes that time. "Strain? How is feeling you up with my one good hand and maybe a little finger action going to strain me?"

I shook my head with a half smile, half grimace. "No, baby, it's fine. I can wait."

"Maybe I can't…didn't you listen to my speech? I miss the feel of your body and the taste of your skin. Even if I can't get off, can't I at least enjoy that part?"

I sighed and whispered. "Let me think about it. Even if the answer is yes, it won't be until tonight."

He smiled brightly at me with the first truly excited twinkle shimmering in his eyes since he woke up and I knew I was probably going to give in. I laughed and leaned down to kiss his forehead just as another knock came at the door. I looked at him with an 'I told you so' expression and he snorted lightly, letting go of my hand.

Ortho took him out of the room in order to utilize special physical therapy equipment to help them cast him without allowing him to move too much. I grabbed my toiletries and snuck into the bathroom for a quick shower while he was gone. When I got out, I threw on some clean clothes and combed my hair, leaving it damp. As I exited the bathroom, I jumped to find someone sitting in the recliner in the corner of the room, looking out the window.

"Tanya?"

She jumped in response and turned to look at me, seeming truly upset. I crossed the room, pulling the small plastic chair in front of her, and resting my hands on her knees. She shifted slightly in the seat before putting her hands on mine, squeezing hard.

"Now that things have calmed down and Edward is getting better, I need to talk to you about something."

I nodded and stayed quiet to let her continue.

"I thought I should explain a few things to you. Um, James, the man with the gun in the lobby, I sort of knew him."

My eyes widened. My heart thumped hard a few times as I sucked in a breath and waited for her to continue.

"I was so shocked when he took his mask off and it was him. I had no clue he was, well, crazy." She stared to shake and tears welled in her eyes. She sucked in a big breath and rolled her eyes. "What is wrong with me that I attract guys like this, Bella? I don't understand. Why can't I see them for who they are?"

I shook my head. I was a bit lost now, so I squeezed her hands. "Tanya, calm down honey. I'm a little confused. Please explain a little better, hon."

She sighed and gulped hard. "About a week after I moved into the apartment, I was coming home one night after work with a bag of groceries. The bag broke and the groceries went flying all over the hallway outside of my door. I yelled and started trying to gather up my groceries to take them inside. When I looked up, there stood James. He smiled at me and helped me stand up. He took my key to open my apartment and helped me carry in the groceries. He introduced himself as one of my neighbors in the building. He seemed really nice and outside of you guys I didn't really have any friends. Once he helped me settle everything on the table, he said goodbye and left."

"I didn't hear from him for a while after that, but every once in a while I would bump into him in the building, the elevator, the laundry room, you know public areas than any tenants would interact in. It all seemed so natural and normal, and slowly we built up a sort of friendship. We would talk about anything and everything. He listened to me go on for hours about Larry and my fears raising this baby by myself. I thought he was a really great friend."

"He was around a lot more the week before Thanksgiving. I guess he never left town at all like the police thought, because he spent the whole week in my building. Pretty much every minute I wasn't at work, I was with him. I swear, Bella, I didn't know! I had no idea." She began to sob into her hands and I leaned forward to hug her shoulders.

"He just didn't act that way with me at all. He was sweet and attentive. He cooked me meals and made me put my feet up, saying pregnant moms needed to rest. He even told me he cared about me and thought he was falling in love with me…but really he was just using me to hide in plain sight from the cops the whole time. When he pulled the gun on me, I was scared, but when he pulled off the mask and I realized it had been James all along, that he looked at me with such hatred and pure evil in his eyes, I was absolutely heartbroken!"

I shushed her and ran my hands through her hair, trying to comfort her as her body vibrated with her sobs. "I just don't understand, Bella. How can someone be so good at pretending when they're really so evil? And why the fuck do they always prey on me? Am I that fucking gullible? Do I have a sign tattooed on my head that reads 'doormat'?"

"No, Tanya. I don't know why they seem to find you, but you are not a doormat. It's okay, honey. This isn't good for the baby; you really need to calm down."

About ten minutes later, I finally had her calmed down again. Moments later, Edward was wheeled into the room on a gurney, looking ten shades of annoyed. He groaned and moaned as they transferred him to the bed and propped him up, tucking pillows around him and behind his head before finally leaving us alone again.

Tanya didn't stay much longer, sensing Edward's negative disposition. I followed her into the hallway and hugged her one more time, trying to assure her that someday she would meet someone who would treat her the way she deserved to be treated. She hugged me back and thanked me in a flat and unbelieving voice before disappearing down the hallway, leaving me alone with Whineward. Not that I could blame him for being whiney because that body cast couldn't be comfortable in the least, but still I hoped my patience would hold out.

I walked back in and climbed onto the bed next to Edward only to discover that the torso cast made hugging and cuddling with him nearly impossible. We both huffed, annoyed that our contact was now going to be so limited. I shifted instead to rest my head on his left shoulder that was thankfully bare, cuddling up to his bare left arm with a sigh.

"This is going to be a long five weeks," I moaned, kissing his shoulder and tipping my face up to look into his.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Try being the one stuck inside this hard itchy fucking thing. I can't even rest in bed comfortably! I've been in it all of thirty fucking minutes and I'm already ready to tear it off with my bare fingers."

I sighed and settled back against his shoulder. He flipped through the channels on the television. As the evening wore on, several more visitors stopped by including Emmett, who teased him about being a mummy, while Jasper joked that he looked more like he was growing the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man out of his side. Edward snapped back his own quips in retaliation and I found myself grateful that he was able to take some of the pent up frustration out on someone else for a while. Hopefully, by the time we were alone again tonight, he would have gotten most of it out of his system.

Esme and Carlisle popped in just before visiting hours ended. Esme fawned over a frustrated Edward who was quietly, enduring it to appease his mom.

Meanwhile, Carlisle settled in next to me to talk about my peds rotation. He gave me a few more pointers about how best to handle some of the Attendings who worked that floor on a regular basis. I had heard a rumor that a couple of those doctors gave the surgeons a run for their money on the jackass scale, but I wasn't going to say that out loud to Carlisle, seeing as how he was a surgeon himself.

Finally, visiting hours ended. Edward lured me to the bed with a crooked finger, smiling deviously, with desire darkening his green irises.

"I think the time has come, my love. The only thing keeping me from totally losing it today was the idea that I was going to get to touch you tonight."

I glanced at the clock and blushed before walking across to his bed, sitting on the edge. The second I sat down, his good hand went directly to my thigh, rubbing up and down, growing closer to the apex of my legs with each pass. I grabbed his hand just before it brushed between my legs and glanced at the clock again.

"Wait, your nurse will be back through here in about ten minutes to give you your dose of Vicodin and check your IV. After that, we should have a couple of hours before being interrupted again. Until then, you need to cut it out."

He smirked at me. He pulled his hand from mine, raising it to brush across my cheek and his fingers brushed my lips. I kissed them gently before he slipped one between my lips. I nibbled it gently, causing his eyes to roll into the back of his head. I giggled before releasing it and kissing the palm of his hand, just then a knock sounded at the door. Edward looked over smiling eagerly.

The nurse, Kim, looked taken aback at Edward's massive mood swing from the last time that she had been in the room. She checked his IV and asked him the typical questions before giving him his Vicoden pill with a glass of water. He took the proffered meds eagerly and started to look frustrated when she took her time leaving the room.

As soon as her back was turned, his hand gripped my thigh eagerly. He began massaging its way further up toward my hip, freezing when the nurse turned around to ask one more question. Her eyes rested on his hand on my thigh, dangerously close to my groin, and her eyebrows rose before she smirked slightly.

"I should remind you, Mr. Masen, that you are not to overly exert yourself physically. Keep your breathing regulated and keep your injured arm immobilized at all times. The CNA's are due to check in with you in an hour because their rotation got off this evening. I'll tell them you requested to be allowed to sleep, so you should get about three hours of uninterrupted peace." Then she winked and flipped off the light, disappearing through the doorway, allowing it to click loudly behind her.

The moonlight shining through the blinds of the window illuminated the massive smile on Edward's face as I leaned forward to kiss his lips seductively. If I were completely honest, I needed this just as much as he did. I really wished I could help him with his issues, but hopefully, this could appease him some as well.

Our tongues tangled. My hands roamed his hair, his neck, and his one bare shoulder.

His one free hand wrapped around my body. He grabbed eagerly at my butt, kneading it with anxious fingers as he pulled me against the plaster covering his torso. Our breathing picked up, but I tried to pay attention to his cues through the haze of lust to make sure he wasn't breathing too hard. My attention to detail was lost when I felt his hand skim along my hip and up my side. His hand continued its slide under the hem of my shirt and over my ribs, palming me.

His hand moved back down to the hem of my shirt, tugging it up. I reached down and grabbed it, ripping it off of my head, and tossing it to the floor. I reached behind to unclasp my bra, letting it join my shirt. I heard Edward moan and saw his teeth gleam blue in the moonlight. His smile grew wider.

"I missed these beautiful mounds of soft sweet goodness." He mumbled.

Before I could stop the motion, he reached behind, hooking his hand behind my back, pulling me toward him. I barely caught my weight on the bed above his head before falling onto his body, just as his mouth teased my chest. I threw my head back and moaned at the unexpected pleasure. He teased me relentlessly with his tongue.

It was an exercise in pleasurable torture as he continued to worship my chest, dividing his attention equally between both breasts.I could feel the pressure growing within me and was beginning to wonder if I was going to be taken over the edge simply by the eagerness with which he worshipped my chest.

"Mmmmm, you tasted even better than I remember. So fucking good." His mouth clamped onto mine with eager passion as his hand once again began to roam down my torso to the waist of my pants.

He quickly used his hands to bring me to climax, stalking dirty in my ear as his fingers worked me, eventually making me stifle a loud scream.

He continued his attentions to my body until the shivering finally stopped. I struggled not to collapse on top of him as my arms and legs felt as though they had turned to jelly.

I rolled onto the bed next to him, resting my head on his shoulders, just as his fingers returned to his mouth again. I smiled at his love of my juices that I would probably never fully understand, but was grateful for none the less. My breasts were rubbing painfully against the plaster covering his torso as I panted, kissing his shoulder, but I didn't care. Finally, I regained my breath and some control over my muscles. I shifted myself once more to kiss is mouth. I gently thanked him with my tongue and lips before leaning back to run my hands over his hair, neck, and face, mumbling 'thank you' over and over.

He smiled and nodded, saying that he was just as grateful as I was and he felt much better.

I smiled apologetically, wishing I could return the favor, but knowing it would do far more harm than good right now. Instead, I laid next to him as his breathing evened out and began brainstorming for his reciprocation the second he was healthy enough to receive it.

I lay there next to him about ten minutes before deciding to climb off the bed and get dressed again so we wouldn't get caught. I brought my recliner over to his bedside to settle in for the night, resting my hand over his on the bed and drifted off into a deep contented sleep.

Friday was another stream of doctors, therapists, visitors, nurses, and aids. I know I felt like I was ready to scream, so I could only imagine what poor Edward was going through. Finally, I saw the very person I needed to talk to. Dr. Cope examined Edward with a sweet smile and an understanding dismissal of his short answers to her questions. When she finally excused herself, I followed her and asked if I could have a second to speak with her before she moved on.

"Sure, dear," she answered motioning to the supply closet with her plump hand.

I stepped in as she followed me into the small space, flipping on a light and closing the door behind her.

"I assumed this was of a private nature, or else you would have spoken with me in Edward's presence. What can I help you with, dear?"

I blushed and swallowed hard, trying to work up my courage to discuss this sensitive subject with her. Dr. Cope was also an instructor at the university and I had interacted with her on several occasions. I sighed deeply and massaged between my eyes with my fingers before looking back up sheepishly.

"This is a very sensitive subject, Dr. Cope. I'm honestly embarrassed to bring it up, but I'm willing to do anything, no matter how embarrassing, for that man, so here I go."

She smiled sweetly at me nodding for me to continue.

"Edward is suffering from…frustrations…of the sexual persuasion. Uhm, he's in need of…physical, uh, release, which I advised against last night for fear of irritating his lungs and other injuries, due to his reactions to…such release…and…"

Understanding glinted in her eyes. "You are asking how soon he can be brought to orgasm without reinjuring his body from his muscular contractions and exertion on his lungs."

I sighed in relief while my blush grew deeper.

She chuckled, leaning against the wall as she shuffled through some papers in her personal notebook. "He's actually doing quite well. Deep breaths hurt him, but his breath sounds are strong and solid, he just needs to strengthen them some more, so the breathing should actually be more beneficial than detrimental to his lungs. His ribs, however, could potentially be damaged, although the cast should restrict him from being able to shift his position enough to damage them. The muscle contractions may cause pain in the incision site and around the trauma of the broken ribs…"

"Basically, I would say that it shouldn't re-injure him, necessarily, since he is in the cast, but I'm guessing that the pain would inhibit him from actually reaching any true release. If you want to try, then I think it's safe, but I'd personally recommend giving him another week or so to heal. By then, the pain should be significantly less and he might have a chance of actually enjoying it."

I smiled brightly and thanked her. "I'll leave the ultimate decision up to him, but thank you for the insight."

She nodded with a small smile, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Of course dear, a good orgasm would probably go a long way to improving his demeanor, which I'm pretty sure the entire staff would appreciate."

She left the room chuckling.

I stood, mouth agape, at her retreating gray tinged red bun on the top of her head, before finally breaking into my own disbelieving chuckle. I exited the supply closet to return to Edward's room. I walked in to find him snapping at the respiratory therapist, who was walking him through his deep breathing exercises. I couldn't help but chuckle again. He shot me a dirty look, but didn't actually say anything to me, instead turning back to the poor flustered girl trying to help him finish the vital exercises with a grunt.

I settled into the chair with a smirk, continuing to look over the information Carlisle had given me, taking note of the large percentage of kids in the unit that also had Cystic Fibrosis. It made sense in a way since CF often causes respiratory tract issues for kids. The treatment has come a long way since the early days of the disease. There was a girl a couple of years ahead of Emmett in high school that had CF. It had been the talk of the town when she was diagnosed as a young child, they told her family she wouldn't live past the age of seventeen. The last time we were back home, we bumped into her parents who said she was still alive and doing well in Minnesota. She was now thirty, married, and adopting a baby with her husband. Suddenly, I found myself quite excited to get to work on the peds floor.

I looked up at the clock just as the therapist was packing up her things to see that if I didn't hurry I was going to be late for my first regularly scheduled appointment with Dr. Kellison. I walked over to the side of the bed and leaned over to kiss Edward's frowning, pouting lips. I leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I just got some good news for you, Mr. Masen. If you're a good boy, we can attempt to take care of your issues much sooner than I had anticipated. So, be nice to the poor medical staff, and I'll see you in an hour or so after my appointment with Dr. Kellison. I'll give you all the details when I get back."

He grinned for the first time today.

I smiled, running my hand through his hair, tousling it teasingly, before making my way to the elevator banks to go down to Dr. Kellison's office.

The appointment was frustrating and tiring. We talked about how I was coping with everything, including Crankward. Dr. Kellison laughed at my inventive variations of Edward's name. She said it was perhaps a tiny bit passive aggressive, but humorous nonetheless. Then I told her about what Tanya had told me this morning.

"It's freaky, Dr. Kellison. He wormed himself into such periphery portions of our lives that we never even knew that he had any knowledge of. What if there were others? What if he had some kind of second in command that's going to come along some day and catch us off guard? What if our life will never be safe?"

Dr. Kellison nodded at my fears with a sigh. "These are all very valid worries, Bella. It will take you a long time before you will ever feel completely safe again. Your group has dealt with many things these past few months that most people never have to encounter. Just like any other victim of a violent crime, your foundations have been shaken. With time, I believe you will start to feel safer again, but it won't be any time soon."

"I feel bad for Tanya, too. I mean how many times can unscrupulous people manipulate one person? It's not fair to her how he used her and preyed on her vulnerable position. She's been through so much and all she really wants is someone to love her for who she is and accept her. She wants what…" I trailed off thinking of my cranky Whineyward up in his room, suddenly feeling a bit guilty for being so annoyed with his justifiably cantankerous ways. "…she wants what I have with Edward, and I'm taking it for granted."

I sighed and rubbed my fist over my tired eyes before looking back up at Dr. Kellison who was smiling at me gently. "You know, Bella, just because you love someone and appreciate them, doesn't mean you can't get frustrated with them and argue with them. Some days you may even want to actually cause them bodily harm. It's part of the human condition. None of us are perfect and you shouldn't feel guilty for getting frustrated with Edward from time to time. Matter of fact, I would honestly be much more concerned if you weren't frustrated with him and the situation, because that would be unhealthy. Healthy relationships have their ups and downs and that's okay."

I nodded slightly, taking in what she had to say with a small smile. She locked her gaze with me, making sure I understood her meaning before glancing at the clock with a sigh.

"Well, it seems our time is up. I swear our sessions go so much more quickly than any of my other patients. I'll see you Monday at six, right?"

I smiled and nodded. "Right, Monday at six. I'm sure I'll have a ton to talk about since that's my first day back on the floor."

She placed a hand on my shoulder as she walked me to the door. "You'll be fine, Bella. I have faith in you."

I blushed and thanked her before returning to Edward's room to find it actually dark and quiet. I smiled as I listened to him breathing in a steady rhythm.

I quietly crossed the room and settled myself in front of my laptop, logging into the wireless network. I checked my email and replied to a couple from Dr. K, checking on my progress and looking forward to me returning to her service next week. I also had messages from each of the femmes, Rose, and several of my boys.

After I replied to the plethora of messages from my friends and family, I remembered that Christmas was quickly approaching. I had zero time to do any shopping. I spent a little time searching online for a few gifts for my friends and family, getting quite frustrated at the fact that I could think of absolutely nothing to give Edward. I wanted to give him something special, but I kept drawing a total blank.

Once I had thoroughly frustrated myself on the online shopping front, I switched gears back to work. I started perusing online medical journals to read up on the most recent research regarding infectious diseases and CF patients and the most cutting edge of treatments. I also read about the rare, but not completely unheard of anomalies of children with CF who slip through infant screenings and are not diagnosed until a later age when the condition begins taking a toll on their bodies enough to bring attention to the disease's progression.

I was so wrapped up in the newest clinical studies out of Minnesota that I didn't even notice that Edward's breathing had changed until I heard his voice behind me

"Hey, sexy, what are you doing over there?"

I chuckled, "Just getting a little work done in preparation for next week. How about you? You feel any better after your nap?"

He sighed and nodded slightly, gesturing for me to climb in next to him.

I crossed the room and gingerly climbed up by his left side, drawing on his cast with my nail. "So, do I get to sign your cast with a sharpie?"

He chuckled lightly. "Sure, let me guess what you'd write…something like 'Property of Bella Swan so back off'?"

I started laughing harder than I meant to because that had actually been exactly what I was thinking. The little nurse's aids kept trying to give him sponge baths, at which I had to swat the little flies away, insisting I would do it myself. I wouldn't mind if they were old grandma type ladies, or even a young lady who approached it with a semblance of dignity and professionalism, but no, they were all young hot girls who stared at Edward like he was their own personal Robert Pattinson. They were practically drooling over seeing his man parts. _Oh hell no!_ I insisted that I was a doctor and I would take care of all of those types of physical needs for Edward…speaking of…

I stopped laughing and looked up at him with a mischievous smile.

"What?" He smiled back, looking intrigued and a little excited.

"Oh, I just thought you might want to know what I learned this morning about what favors you may and may not safely receive."

His eyes began to dance as his smile grew wider. "Oh? And what did you discover, my beautiful Dr. Bella?"

I took a deep breath and let my fingers travel up and down his arm softly as I began speaking. "Well, Dr. Cope is a long time friend of mine, so I asked her what the dangers would be of me taking care of your needs for you, and how soon it would be safe."

I let my fingers drift down to play with his fingertips where they lay down along the side of his body. "It seems that your lungs are in good shape and that the heavy breathing would be a good therapy for them. Your ribs and muscles won't like the heavy breathing, but the cast will keep them from being overly extended to the point that you would damage them."

I let my fingers dance over from his fingertips to his hipbone. He tensed in reaction and then immediately hissed, which I suspected was thanks to the pain from the muscle contraction. I teased along his hipbone and thigh, avoiding his rock hard erection.

"The only problem she believed would be that the involuntary muscle contractions and the action of breathing so hard would probably be so painful at this point that it would keep you from enjoying the experience and actually being able to get all the way off."

I tipped forward and nibbled at his ear as I let my hand slide over his erection. It twitched under my hand.

"Now, I leave it up to you if you want to try it. I really don't want to hurt you, but I find that I can't really deny you anything because I love you so damn much."

I grasped him a little harder, causing him to moan, jerk, and then hiss again at the pain. I let my thumb brush over his head that was sticking up above his briefs. That caused him to jerk slightly, illustrating the very pain I warned about.

"If you want to give it a try, I'll stay again tonight and see how well it goes, but I agree with the doctor that it will probably hurt more than feel good until you're a little more healed up in maybe a week."

I brushed my thumb across the head again, earning the same reaction and the same accompanying hiss. He whimpered in defeat, banging his head off the pillow behind him three times in frustration.

"You're right. It's going to hurt too fucking much, damn it! You feel so good though, baby. Can you maybe just hold it a while and try not to touch the head since it's so sensitive it automatically makes me jump?"

I nodded and leaned up to kiss him again.

He returned the kiss with sweetness. "Thank you for checking into it and trying for me, baby. I do appreciate it."

I nodded with a sigh, as I gently stroked the lower portion of the shaft slowly, giving him the sensation, but unfortunately lacking the release.

It didn't last long before there was a knock at the door. I quickly pulled my hand away and curled it around his arm, leaning against his shoulder.

The nurse came in and did all the necessary checks. She smiled at us before exiting the room, most likely relieved to find that Edward was being more cooperative than he had been any other time today. Visitors began to come and go soon after.

I finally bid good night to Edward and left with Emmett to spend another night in my old room. It was still hard to leave Edward, but it was getting a tiny bit easier each day.

I called him before I went to sleep and again when I woke up with another nightmare, but at least this time I wasn't screaming loudly enough to wake Emmett and Rose. I talked to him long enough to calm myself back down again and finally fell back to sleep for the rest of the night.

o~O~o

The weekend came and went quickly. The next thing I knew, I was waking up bright and early Monday morning at Emmett's. I showered quickly and slipped into my scrubs, sliding my stethoscope around my neck and clipping my ID on my pocket. I looked in the mirror with a sigh. It was good to be back.

I walked the few blocks to the hospital alone, entering through the main lobby. I made it to the locker room just as Alice finished changing.

She looked up at me with a bright smile, running over to give me a hug. She had stopped by as often as possible over the last week, but between graveyards in the ER and the busy morning traffic of the rounding docs, we hadn't seen each other often.

Krista and Sabrina gave me big hugs and welcomed me back as we walked up to the second floor to find Dr. K. She smiled when I walked up with the group, stating that it was good to have all her girls back together again.

The morning went smoothly; we continued our rounds with her and then I left them at noon, sneaking up to Edward's room to have lunch with him. He was in another cruddy mood, but seemed to be uplifted slightly by my presence. When we finished, I took the elevator up to the sixth floor peds infectious diseases ward. I slowly approached the nurse's station, feeling more timid than I usually did at the hospital. This was all so new and I was still not quite myself after everything that had happened.

I walked up to the desk where a really sweet looking nurse with brown hair and glasses sat working on a file. I stepped in front of her with a timid smile.

"Excuse me, I'm Isabella Swan. I'm supposed to start working up here today. Could you help me?"

She looked up with a big smile. "Dr. Swan, it's such a pleasure to meet you," she intoned, putting her hand out to shake. "I'm Angela Webber. I'm the charge nurse for this floor. You'll want to make your way to the doctor's lounge at the end of the hall on the right. This is one of the few floors where the doctors actually properly utilize their lounge," she said with an eye roll. "Dr. Powers is in there. He's the tall one with thick, black-rimmed glasses and the short black hair. He'll stand out since the rest of the ones here today are all short and either balding or don't bother coloring their hair like he does."

We chuckled together and I thanked her before heading down the hallway to the door. I paused outside to gain my courage and then knocked twice before opening the door, stepping into the lounge. All eyes in the male filled room drifted to me when I entered. Most of the eyes observing me were dull and uninterested except for two sets that appeared to be scrutinizing me and finding me coming up short. Unfortunately, one set belonged to my new 'mentor', Dr. Powers.

I crossed the room to stand in front of him. I extended my hand as I introduced myself. He sneered at me and grabbed my hand limply before dropping it and turning back to his conversation, completely ignoring me. I stood uncomfortably, not knowing what I should do, when he finally turned to me with a snide expression.

"So are this year's interns only trained to stare with gaping mouths like fish mouthed ignoramuses, or are you actually good for something."

I swallowed hard and felt my heart hammering in my chest. I stuttered over my words. "I..I'm sorry sir. Dr. Cullen told me that you would tell me what I needed to do and show me the ropes. This is all new to me, sir."

His nostrils flared as he watched me through narrow black eyes before he finally rolled them with a sigh. "You want to make yourself useful? Go sort the medical supplies in the main supply closet. It's a mess and the nurses are too busy doing their job of keeping things running around here to be bothered. It seems just the right job for a sniveling first year intern who is manipulating herself through the ranks."

"Excuse me?" I blurted in surprise at his offending suggestion.

"You heard me. Now if you want to stay on this rotation, I suggest you get started on the supply room."

I stood there, staring at him for a moment before I decided that decapitating him would most definitely get me kicked out of the program. Also an afternoon in a quiet room, free of interactions with humans, was probably best for the mood I just found myself in, so I took a deep breath.

"Okay, you know where to find me if you decide to actually do your job and train me." I turned on my heel and left the room with my head held high. I closed the door hard behind me, but being sure not to slam it and earn a reputation of a child throwing a temper.

I managed to hold in the tears burning in my eyes until I reached the supply closet three doors down, I opened it to find a disaster area of disorganized chaos. Most everything was still boxed, leading me to believe that this was basically the bulk supply closet where things remained until the main supply closet that the floor used needed something replenished. I took a deep breath, opening and closing my fists a few times.

After a few minutes centering myself I decided that if I was going to get assigned a job, I was damn well going to do it and do it well. I began sorting through the massive piles of boxed medical supplies.

Four hours later, I had that closet organized, alphabetized, and perfectly spaced before I turned to walk out and go down to my six o'clock appointment with Dr. Kellison. As I opened the door and stepped out, I bumped into Angela.

She stood there, frowning at me, and then glanced at the supply closet with a shocked expression.

"Oh, he didn't!" she exclaimed as her face turned a funny puce shade.

I nodded solemnly. "Oh yes, he did."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry. It's a boy's club up here. Truth of the matter is that you're going to have to earn your place the hard way by being tough as nails and proving yourself. Tomorrow should be better for you though. Dr. Salazar will be here. She'll probably insist you call her Carmen like she does me. She'll help you elbow your way into the boys club. Her husband Eleazar was in the lounge, so I'm sure she'll be well aware of the situation before she even meets you tomorrow."

I sighed. "Oh I hope so, I was so looking forward to this. I'm pretty sure that decapitating your supervisor is grounds for dismissal from the program and a one way trip to Joliet."

She chuckled and nodded. "Can I help you with anything else, Dr. Swan?"

"Please, call me Bella?"

She smiled with another nod.

"And no thank you. I have to go for an appointment here in a little bit anyway, but thank you."

"I'm around if you need anything at all, okay?"

"Thank you, Nurse Webber."

"That would be Angela to you, Bella," she said with a smirk before turning and walking down the hallway.

I rushed down to Dr. Kellison's office, ready to vent about my first day on the peds floor and the asshole, Dr. Powers. Dr. Kellison was angry too, but watched with a touch of amusement as I went on to explain my thoughts of how decapitation would be detrimental to my career and how much I'd love to shove an enema up his ass, earning a small chuckle.

Once I was done with my appointment, I felt much better. I walked up to Edward's room to find him pouting again. When he saw me, he smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He asked me half-heartedly how my day was.

I explained everything, including the asshole doctor.

He listened passively, nodding occasionally, and grunting once in a while. I was a little disappointed he wasn't more into the conversation, but figured he had a long day.

We ate supper together and talked to a few guests. Before I knew it, ten o'clock had rolled around. I started to shift the chair toward his bed to settle in for sleep. I had brought a spare set of scrubs to change into in the morning, figuring I'd just get up extra early and shower in the women's shower by the locker room. I was just about to settle in when Edward grumbled something about going to Emmett's tonight.

"But I was at Emmett's last night. Tonight is my night to be here."

"You should go there, you'd sleep better."

"No, actually I sleep better here even with the nurses and CNA's coming in and out...you know that. What's going on with you? Don't you want me here?"

He crossed his arm across his body and huffed, frowning down at the blanket.

"Seriously? You don't want me to stay? Why?"

He half shrugged, as much as he could with his torso cast.

I could feel the sting in my eyes as the tears prickled in the corners.

"No, answer me…why don't you want me to stay? What happened this afternoon? You were fine at lunch."

"I'm not FINE, Isabella! I'm not fine at all. I just…I just need some space. People are around me all the time. I just need some fucking privacy. Can't I have at least one night of fucking solitude?"

I bit my lip, trying not to cry, but after the day I had, my restraint wouldn't hold out for long. I grabbed my bag with a sigh and stuffed my things in it.

"Okay, as you wish. I hope you enjoy your solitude, Edward. Goodnight."

He didn't even say goodnight. I closed the door and the second the latch clicked, my vision blurred with a curtain of tears. I didn't know why he was being this way, but all I knew was that it really hurt…a lot.

I tried to hide my distress, dabbing at my eyes and attempting to cover my hitching breath with fake coughs on my way to the elevator. Thankfully, I had a car to myself and let go once the doors closed. My vision was still blurred when I exited the building, heading to Emmett's in the cold Chicago night. It was now early December and the city was decked in festive lights and garland, but I couldn't even begin to see the beauty of the season past my own frustration and pain.

I knocked on Emmett's door at eleven.

He opened it with a confused expression on his face that quickly morphed to worry.

"C…Can I st..stay here tonight?"

He pulled me in, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "Sure, honey, but why aren't you at the hospital with Edward?"

My breath hitched, "H…he didn't w..want me to st..stay. He said he wanted (hic) solitude for one night. S…so I came here. I hope it's okay."

He shook his head with a deep sigh. "Sure, kiddo. You always have a place here."

He led me to my room and helped me get settled in.

I lay on the bed wide-awake, watching the lights filtering through the slits on the blinds covering the window dance on the ceiling. For the first time since he woke up, I wouldn't be able to talk to Edward before I fell asleep. I woke up sweating and screaming three times that night and got up to face the next day feeling more exhausted than I had when I went to sleep.

Damn it, I needed to be on the top of my game, not dragging already. I got dressed and walked into the cold Chicago morning to face another day, hoping that it would be better than the last.

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_**Okay, don't kill me, I promise that there is a reason for Edward's actions and you find out at the very beginning of the next chapter **__**read. **_


	37. Sympathetic Solitude

**Disclaimer: The original characters aren't mine. They all belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. I just give them foul mouths and damaged psyches.**

_**I'm starting out by giving massive props to Kimpy0464 for her life saving medical beta skills in the pediatric floor section. Thanks hon! Also thanks to my ever faithful wordsmith beta Sihaya9 for her ever vigilant correction of my grammatical/spelling/word over usage snafus! As well as Sassenach Wench our Twilighted Jr. Validation beta.**_

_**This is a highly medical focused chapter. I added a bit more layman's term information in Bella's explanations to help aid the readers in understanding, although in an actual medical setting, the additional explanation wouldn't be needed. Just trying to keep us all on the same page while at the same time trying to sound as authentic as possible…most are direct quotes from Ms. Kimpy and I wanted to be sure to give credit where's it's due because she's really good and explaining this stuff in a way for the rest of us non medical field folks can follow! :)**_

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**Sympathetic Solitude**

**EPOV**

I counted the ceiling tiles again in the too dark, too quiet room as the annoying fucking clock on the wall ticked each second away with a loud click. I fucking missed my girl. Why did I tell her I wanted her to stay at Emmett's house tonight again? Oh right, I needed solitude...well I got it alright...more of it than I could ever want.

It would have been fine if I wasn't such a dick about it. The second her voice broke when she said goodnight, I knew I fucked up big time. It wasn't even really about her for the most part. She was once again the victim of coming into my room at the really wrong time.

The nurse came in to check my IV and give me my pain pill and I knew it must be nearing 1 in the morning. That was typically when they came in to check me...one, four, and seven every damn night and morning this week. It was any wonder anybody kept their sanity when they had to stay long term in this place!

The nurse stepped out and I settled back into bed, hoping I could finally get some rest, when my door opened with a loud bang. An equally loud bellowing voice filled the room as the lights flickered brightly in my eyes. I covered my face with a groan. Emmett's massive body plowed across the room to my bedside before he flicked me in the middle of the head.

"What in the fucking hell is wrong with you, asshole? Why the hell did my baby sister show up at my door two hours ago in hysterics saying you didn't want her here? What's with wanting some fucking solitude?"

I groaned, flopping my head back on the pillow, my good hand grabbing a large tuft of hair and pulling hard, sending sharp pains into my scalp.

"Fuck, was she really that upset?"

"Of course she was, fuckface! You were pretty cold to her all damn night after she had a shitty ass day at work, then you tell her you want her to go, yell at her, and tell her you want solitude which in girl speak translates to you don't fucking want her anymore!"

I groaned, massaging the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger as I thought.

"All fucking day, it was another parade of doctors and therapists. They just wouldn't fucking leave me alone. Then Bella came and had lunch with me before she went up to her new floor and it was great. I told her I wasn't fine, but actually I pretty much was at that point, or at least as fine as I can be while trapped here. Then this afternoon, Elizabeth showed up for an unexpected visit. Mom came in while she was here, making things all fucking intense and stressful and it seemed to last for-fucking-ever. Then Tanya comes and apologizes for this whole load of shit that I guess she confessed to Bella on Thursday. None of which Bella even bothered to tell me about regarding Trager befriending and seducing her before the whole hostage situation, might I add. It pissed me off that Bella didn't tell me about it. After that, the stupid physical therapist came. She made me try to sit up and move into the wheelchair, and that hurt like hell."

I shook my head and reached for my glass of water, taking a long sip since all this talking was making my throat dry. "Not twenty minutes after the therapist left, Bella came in and started chattering nonstop something about a doctor bullying her on the peds floor or something. I mean he made her organize a closet for fuck sake, it's not like he made her wade through sewage or something, but here she was acting like it was the fucking end of the world. She didn't even bother to ask how my fucking day was, and it just irritated the shit out of me. I still hadn't even gotten to process the whole Elizabeth/Esme visit thanks to all the interruptions, and it all just kept going. All fucking night long, visitor after visitor came by with the same inane questions and the same sympathetic looks. I was just fucking pissed at the whole damn world. It wasn't her necessarily. Yeah, she was annoying me. Hell, I'd normally rather have her annoy me than have to be away from her, but after the day I had, I just really needed some fucking space, you know? Not that I've enjoyed it...ever since she left, I've done nothing but feel like shit about how I treated her."

Emmett groaned and rolled his eyes as he flopped down in the chair next to the bed. "You do realize that you hurt her pretty fucking bad. You remember what you said you'd do if you ever hurt her again?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me, letting me know he was actually joking, but it still made me feel like shit.

"And as far as what happened to her at work today, if you weren't stuck in this bed dealing with the nurses and doctors and shit, you know for a fact you'd be the first in line banging down that prick doctor's door, telling him he better get his shit straight, and stop picking on your girl just because she happens to be in love with you and your Dad happens to run this place. We all know that Carlisle is not one to show family favoritism. In fact, I'm pretty sure he holds them to a higher standard. Anyway, long way of saying, if you had your head pulled out of your ass, you'd have been mad as hell about what happened to her today, but instead you blew her off and then threw her out."

He sat back with his arms crossed over his chest shaking his head. "Now I know you're hurting, and you're frustrated, and that brings out the ass in you, as it would pretty much anybody. I'm sure if it were me, I'd be even worse. Add on top of that, people always hanging around here and the fact that before my sister entered your life, you spent all your down time at home in your fucking fortress of solitude or whatever, so that's making it all worse too, but she didn't deserve that. Do you even realize how big of a dick you're being to everyone around here? You're getting a reputation fast in this building for being the world's shittiest patient. Rose even told me that the rumor in the cafeteria is that there are nurses and therapists who are absolutely refusing to take you as a patient...that's how fucking bad you are. Have you once seen Bella try to get away from you? Have you even seen her do more than maybe roll her eyes at you occasionally in response to the way you've been acting? She fucking saved your life you ass, sat by your side every moment she could pull it off until you woke up, and even refused to leave you until the psychologist ordered it. Is this really how you repay her?"

I dropped my head in shame. I knew I was being a dick. The second she left the room, I regretted what I said, and especially how I said it. She really was so patient with me. I was such a huge dick and it had only gotten worse since the cast was put on. The thing was hard and so fucking itchy it was ridiculous. I couldn't sit all the way up because it would put too much pressure on my ribs, but leaning against the bed made it dig into my side and back no matter how many pillows the nurses stuffed around me.

Emmett was right though, she really didn't deserve it. She took really good care of me, always making sure I had everything I needed, even letting me get her off with my hand, even though it was against her better judgment. Then she embarrassed herself by going to an instructor, who was a doctor of mine, in order to ask if she could give me a blow job to release some of this tension that had been building steadily for well over a week. She even offered to try to do it for me, only to find that her suspicions were right. It did hurt too much when I would tense up. An orgasm would probably fucking kill me.

Maybe that was my fucking problem, cum buildup blocking the logic sensors in my brain. I mean I KNEW all of this about Bella. She'd been fantastic, taking care of me, and staying with me, even while she was suffering from the after effects of all the trauma she had experienced that day. But somehow, earlier tonight, that logical part of my brain that knew she was always being so good to me got blocked up. All I could feel was the utter annoyance of her constant presence, her intent scrutiny of me trying to figure out what I would need next, her constant hovering and offering to get me more water, or call for some food, or ask the nurse for my next round of pain meds. I just went into fucking overload, and instead of just nicely asking her for a little space and explaining my shit day, I fucking pouted like a three year old because she didn't ask about my day and then pushed her away like one of the sluts I had used in the past.

I wonder if they have meetings for guys like me? _Hi,I'm Edward and I'm a chronic__asshole_. It would definitely provide a whole new meaning to the initials AA.

"Did she fall asleep okay? I mean she didn't call to talk to me yet, but I assume she's already asleep."

"Yeah, fucktard, I waited until she had cried herself to sleep before coming over here and read you the riot act." Just then, the phone began to buzz on his hip. He pulled it out and growled, staring over at me with narrowed eyes full of anger.

"And now Rose says she's already heard her wake up screaming twice with nightmares, thank you very much, jackass!"

I threw my hand in the air. "Fine, fine, I know I was an ass and hurt her feelings, but could you stop with the names already, it's getting fucking annoying."

He grunted in response as he attempted to type with his big fingers using the tiny buttons of his querty keyboard. Finally, he closed his phone and turned to me with a menacing smile.

"You fix this tomorrow, Emoward, or you're going to get a hell of a lot more than a one a.m. heart to heart. Got me?"

I nodded and watched him cross to the door and shut out the light, then closed the door behind him. The room fell into blackness and I just stared with wide open eyes into the darkness. I was a class A ass and I knew it. I really didn't know what the fuck I could do to fix this. I thought and thought before I finally picked up the phone sometime in the early morning hours just before dawn. I typed out a message awkwardly with my left hand.

_Brlla, siorry i am jakass plz comew see me 2dauy durting__ur__luncgh i love u –E_

It was piss poor texing, but hopefully she would figure out the message around my one handed typing bloopers. I closed my phone and settled back into the bed, getting as comfortable as the motherfucking cast from hell would allow me to. Eventually, my exhaustion and lack of sleep caught up with me as the darkness took me over.

I was awoken at seven, but fell back asleep immediately. At eight, the stream of doctors, nurses, therapists, and visitors began. Remembering what Emmett said about my reputation, I just kept my mouth shut, feeling worse about how I had treated Bella with each passing hour.

I watched the clock hopefully as noon came and went. I sighed, feeling defeated, when I finally took the lid off my meal. I groaned at the disgusting looking meat loaf, the mashed potatoes made from flakes and water, and the boring green jello cup. I picked up my fork and was just about to cut a piece off and force myself to chew and swallow, when my door creaked open and there in the doorway stood a frazzled looking Bella.

She shuffled into the room, looking intently at her feet, before settling into the ugly plastic chair across the room. She pulled a sub sandwich out of the bag in her hand.

"That looks a hell of a lot more appetizing than this plate of what they are passing off as food. Wanna trade?"

She looked up with sad eyes before shaking her head. Picking up the sandwich, she took a big bite out of the end, chewing. All the while, she never really looked at me, driving me about a million times more crazy than her watching my every move had been.

"Bella, stop. Please look at me..."

She glanced up shyly though her lashes and my heart thudded in my chest.

"I'm really sorry for the things I said last night. I had a shitty day and I took it out on you. What I really should have done was just told you about my day and asked you to send away the visitors, taking some time for myself. Instead, I wasted all my patience on the random guests and then took every fucking thing out on you. I'm so sorry for that. You didn't deserve it at all, and I am so sorry."

She sighed and nodded before taking another quiet bite of the sandwich, chewing slowly.

"I guess it's true what they say," I continued after a stretch of silence filled only with the chewing of the food in our mouths, "you really do mistreat the ones you love the most. I'm sorry, baby. Can you come here please?"

She looked up at me hesitantly before finally setting down her sandwich and crossing the room to sit timidly on the side of the bed. I reached out, grabbing her hand and squeezing hard. I brought her knuckles to my lips.

"I want to make one thing abundantly clear, okay? I needed some space from everyone and everything for just a little while, but believe me when I say that it was in no way a rejection of you. I may have been annoyed about a few things. I really need you to explain to me why you didn't tell me about the stuff Tanya admitted to you last Thursday sometime, later on, when we have more time. But you deserved for me to tell you what was wrong, not for me to pout like a baby and basically bully you out of the room. Trust me when I say I WAS NOT rejecting you at all. I want you forever, in every single way, and someday soon I'm going to ask you if you'll have me the same way for the rest of your life as well."

I couldn't help but smile as her eyes widened in surprise and her mouth dropped open at my confession. I already knew she was the one for me. I made up my mind that day while she was trapped in a room with a lunatic that I was going to ask her to marry me as soon as I could, but at the time, I didn't know I'd be stuck in a fucking plaster cast for six weeks either.

Since then, I've had over a week to plan, strategize, and evaluate my ideas. It's been one of the few things that had helped me keep my sanity. That was especially true during those long drawn out days since she'd started back to work, when it was just me and the parade of medical assholes, or the long boring nights when she was away from me, staying at Em and Rosalie's.

I knew for a fact that I was not going to be proposing while I was still trapped in this damned cast, so it would still be a couple of months yet. When I did ask her, it would be in a far more romantic setting than on the side of my hospital bed while I was actively resisting the urge to grab the nearest long, straight, rigid piece of material I could find and use it to scratch my back and chest underneath the cast. But teasing her with the fact that my mind was going in that direction was too good an opportunity to pass up.

After a while, her eyes narrowed again as she ripped her hand out of mine, worrying me that she was going to storm out for a second until she moved it and her other to cup my cheeks.

"Don't you ever fucking do that to me again, Edward," she whispered with venom in her voice. "From here on out, you fucking talk to me, do you understand? We have to communicate the good and the bad. If I piss you off, then tell me about it. Dr. Kellison and I were just talking about that on Monday. We're going to annoy one another, it's just a part of life, and we're going to argue and fight and bicker. That's all part of any healthy relationship, but I swear to god, Edward, if you throw that fucking wall up again and shut me out completely like you used to do, I will walk out that door and never come back. I won't go back to that. Do you understand?"

My heart was thundering so hard in my chest, I could feel it in my face and hear it in my ears. She was totally fucking serious. I nodded with wimpy ass tears collecting in my eyes.

"I understand, Bella. I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose, though. I've done this shit for years, it's not like I can turn it all off overnight. I don't want to lose you because of this shit. You are far too important to me."

She cut off my ramble by placing her finger on my lips. "I'm sorry, maybe saying it that way was a bit too harsh. I'm not going to walk out over one fight, but I'm serious, Edward. You start rebuilding that wall, keeping yourself hidden behind it all the time again, and we won't survive this. I love you and I don't want to go anywhere, but I also know that I'm not going to cling to this relationship alone while you shut yourself off from the world and hope that you come back to me. I need you here with me, working on us, not pushing me away and hiding. If you need your space, that's fine, but just tell me that instead of pushing me away and hurting me to do it. Okay? Talk to me BEFORE you reach the boiling point and start yelling."

I nodded.

She leaned down, touching her forehead to mine and I felt the warm hum of the comfort that can only come from Bella vibrating in my body, calming my stressed out mind, and exhausted body. Suddenly, I felt like punching myself in the fucking nose. I pushed her away out of habit, but really, what I needed was for her to be with me just like this. To allow her to comfort me the way that only she could. I really was a fucking retard!

**BPOV**

I walked into the building this morning feeling like I was already six feet under. I walked in a sleepy haze, only slightly cheered by the text from Edward, but more worried that he was going to have another whiplash force mood swing and end up metaphorically punching me in the gut again.

I walked through morning rounds in a haze. My discordant mind made charting much more daunting than usual, taking me longer than it should have. It was already nearly 12:30 when I finally made it to Edward's room.

I walked in feeling tense, hesitant, and down right hurt, but I walked out half an hour later feeling much lighter and pleased that we had actually communicated on an adult level. Now let's hope we could do that before the fireworks and hurt feelings the next time we start to frustrate each other.

I made my way back up to the peds wing to find Angela working vigilantly on the paperwork spread before her. When I walked up to the desk, she looked up at me with a bright smile and a wink.

"Good morning, Bella. I think you are going to have a much better day today. Carmen came in this morning completely livid. She pulled Peters into her office for a full half an hour this morning. I assume Eleazar informed her of the whole situation at home, because I didn't even have to say a word. I don't know if I told you this, but Carmen is the head of Peds and Peters technically works for her. I don't know what was said, but when they walked out, Peters looked pissed and was pouting. Carmen informed me that she would be personally taking over your orientation for the rest of this week. She told me to send you directly to her office. It's the last one down the hall to your left."

I smiled brightly at Angela, thanking her, before making my way down the hallway toward Dr. Salazar's office door. I stood in front of it, admiring the beautiful golden plaque hung on the doorway, engraved with her name in an elegant Old English looking script with a rose vine encircling her name. I studied it for a few minutes before lifting my hand to knock, but a voice interrupted me before my hand hit the door.

"It was a present from my husband last year. I think it's absolutely beautiful. He's really good with gifts."

I turned around to see a gorgeous woman with caramel skin and salt streaked raven colored hair. She had a soft expression in her espresso colored eyes and a small but genuine smile playing on her lips. She looked at me over the top of her crescent shaped eye glasses as she reached out a hand for me to shake.

"Dr. Carmen Salazar, but I ask all of my colleagues to call me Carmen. I find it keeps you from getting overly cocky if you don't try to elevate yourself with a fancy title. Am I correct in assuming you are Dr. Isabella Swan?"

I smiled, "Please call me Bella. It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr., uh, C..Carmen."

She smiled and chuckled, reaching past me to grasp the doorknob as I shifted out of her way, following her into the small space. There was a wall sized window directly across from us. To the left of the door sat a small love seat, while the remainder of the walls were covered in book shelves that were completely full and overflowing. A rather large wooden desk sat, dark and stately, in the middle of the room, free of clutter and only holding a computer monitor, keyboard, pencil holder, and telephone.

"Please, come in and have a seat," Carmen said as she gestured toward one of the two black office chairs sitting on the near side of the desk.

I settled into one and she settled into the large leather chair behind the desk with a sigh. She leaned back leisurely with her hands crossed.

"I want to begin by apologizing for your experience yesterday. There really is no excuse for the man. He, quite simply, is a pretentious ass."

I chuckled and she smiled.

"I have to say though; you did an astounding job with the closet. I'm sure you were pissed as hell, but you definitely did the job you were given to the best of your ability. I have never seen any closet in this hospital ever look that organized and professional. So I give you high praise for your organizational skills."

She chuckled again, shifting to type on her keyboard as she continued to ask me questions about myself and get to know me. Ten minutes later, she stood up and started heading toward the doorway, motioning for me to follow as she continued talking.

"I know you haven't gotten to this point in your training yet, so it will take you a bit longer than is typical for you to transition. When you work on your specialty floor as you begin your Residency, you are not under the constant supervision that you were at the intern level. Technically, though, you are still not a Resident until you pass your intern exam in a couple of months, so we're going to have to create some sort of alternative protocol when it comes to your time here. You will not be under the constant scrutiny of anyone else here, but I do want you to report on a daily basis to myself. In the event that you run across a major event issue that would require more intense scrutiny, or you feel that patient may need transferred to the ICU, I want you to page a senior staff member as back up. Do you understand?"

I nodded and mumbled a "Yes Ma'am," to which she rolled her eyes, but continued down the hallway.

"The area you will be spending most of your time is the infectious diseases ward. Here you will encounter mostly strong bacterial or viral cases being treated with the utmost attention to isolation protocols. You also will find that many of the cases you encounter on this ward have additional health concerns, which usually leave the child more susceptible to infection. Our most common is…"

"Cystic Fibrosis," I interrupted unintentionally, as I followed along with her train of thought.

She smiled brightly at me with a twinkle in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I continued, "Dr. Cullen gave me some information to help me be prepared for my time here. I also went online to look into some of the most recent research, just to be on top of things as much as possible."

She smiled again, shaking her head. "Well, well, well, you really are a shining star. I had thought Carlisle might be embellishing a little, but I was most definitely mistaken."

"I'm going to go with you today and introduce you to several of our patients. Until we figure out the best way to handle you, I'm just going to have you checking up on them in the afternoons. You and I, or you and another attending on staff will do a short evaluation at the end of the shift to sort of stand in for the basic rounding that you miss out on in the mornings. Once you are released to work in the ER again, you will still be coming here in the afternoons and only working ER rounds during code reds and your graveyard rotations. After I show you around today, I'll leave you at a station so you can better acquaint yourself with the patient's histories."

I followed her to a large door, mimicking her actions as we pulled on gowns, masks, used antibacterial gel on our hands and then placed latex gloves on our hands.

"Eric is a CF patient who was admitted in order to gain control over his diabetes, but during his treatment he contracted a Pseudomonas aeruginosa infection. In fact, all of the patients you will be meeting today have the same infection in various stages of recovery. What can you tell me about Pseudomonas aeruginosa?"

"It is a really nasty bacterium which can affect any body system. CF patients are highly susceptible to Pseudomonas infections because it is an opportunistic organism, taking hold in a compromised patient. It is also an organism that has a history of being highly resistant to most strains of antibiotics. If a CF patient gets this infection, their fatality rate can be as high as 50%. The strains usually present in CF patients can be nearly impossible to cure due to antibiotic resistance. The class of antibiotics most frequently used for Pseudomonas are Fluoroquinolones, like Levaquin or Ciprofloxacin. Typically, upon first sign of infection, a patient is placed in isolation, sputum cultures are sent to the lab, and IV antibiotics are started immediately. Lab cultures take 24-48 hours to grow, and it is standard to do a test for antibiotic resistance at the same time. A patient with an intractable Pseudomonas infection would probably end up intubated, sedated, and possibly be on an oscillator, which is a special kind of ventilator that keeps lungs completely inflated with oxygen to maximize the amount of oxygen able to reach the lungs. It is one of the last ditch efforts we use before we have to give up."

Carmen smiled brightly at me with a large nod, "Impressive, Bella, very impressive indeed. None of our patients that you will be meeting today are in anywhere near that precarious of a position. All, so far, seem to be responding to treatment. We are a highly vigilant hospital and tend to catch such things early. Eric has been struggling a little more lately and is getting a bit restless. Let's go in and meet him shall we?"

She opened the door that led to a room containing the sickly young man. Several loud machines kept track of his heart rate and respirations and the low hiss of the oxygen being pumped into his nasal canula met my ears.

"Good afternoon, Eric. How are you feeling?" Carmen chimed as she walked to Eric's bedside. I followed her example while listening intently.

"I'm feeling a little better, Dr. S," Eric rasped weakly while shooting curious looks at me from the side of his eyes. Eric was a fourteen year old Cystic Fibrosis patient who had a laundry list of admits in his case history on the screen in front of me that I was scanning while Carmen conversed with him. The poor boy most definitely knew the ropes of this place by now.

"Good, good. I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Swan. She's a medical student who will start working on this floor this week. You will be one of the patients that I will be assigning to her, so be nice and help her out if she gets a bit confused, okay?"

She winked at me from up by his head as he beamed at me from the bed. "Be happy to, Dr. S. It's nice to meet you, Dr. Swan."

I smiled down at him. "It's nice to meet you too, Eric."

Carmen continued discussing with Eric, asking him if he'd received his afternoon antibiotic dose yet and if he had ordered his supper yet as she read the machines, making notes on the chart that hung next to the equipment. I knew all of this information was more or less in his chart, but rather she was giving him some power and control in his powerless situation. I smiled to myself at how grateful I was to be working with such a compassionate doctor who had such an amazing bedside manner. I was definitely going to learn a lot from her! I watched as she crossed to the computer, inputting the information there. I watched every move intently, wanting to be sure not to miss any important details.

She chatted casually with him while making surreptitious observations; scanning his urine output levels on the screen and the notation that the nurse had made suggesting ordering a urinalysis with a suspicion of a urinary tract infection. I watched Carmen type in the order while keeping up the conversation with Eric. She walked over to him, ruffling his hair as she asked him if he'd gotten to see the new Harry Potter movie before he was admitted and then spending a few minutes discussing the plot and how he felt it compared to the book before bidding him goodbye.

I waved and then we stepped out of the room, removing our gowns and placing them in the disposal bins on the other side of the doorway, utilizing the antibacterial gel again, before moving on down the hallway.

She led me from room to room for the next two hours. Carmen had a special rapport with each child, taking the time to talk to them about their interests and making her visit less of a boring and invasive examination and more of a social visit between friends. All the while, quietly evaluating and making notes in the computer of her finds. I watched her in awe with more than a small bit of hero worship. She was amazing and every child beamed at her when she walked into each room.

At the end of the hall, she stopped me before we entered the next room.

"Charlotte is a new case. Typically, CF is found in infancy, but she was only diagnosed recently. Do you have any theories why that would be?"

"There could potentially be several reasons, but most likely is the fact that the sweat test results for CF can be inconclusive. It is possible to have a milder case of CF, which could be misdiagnosed as asthma, reactive airway disease, or just a history of pneumonias, "chest colds", etc. A misdiagnosis of that sort could take many years to catch on to, because most pediatricians would not automatically go to CF immediately, since in most cases it would have been caught much, much earlier."

Carmen nodded again with a sly wink and then continued the process of gowning up.

"That is true in Charlotte's case. When she continued to get worse and worse, the doctors finally put two and two together, but by that time, she was in pretty bad shape. She is really struggling with the symptoms while we try to find the right combination of medications to balance her out and allow her to live a normal life. Unfortunately, while she was here, she developed the same strain of Pseudomonas that Eric has and had to be moved to this unit. She's only six and is very scared, bored, and just frustrated with everything. She tends to be a little sour towards everyone, so just be prepared."

I smiled brightly, knowing exactly what she was talking about as I dressed along side her and accepted the face mask she handed me. We stepped into the room as she began to speak to the small child on the bed with a muffled voice.

She continued the same in this room as she had the rest, but this was the first child I had seen who didn't reciprocate or become involved with her banter. The little girl scowled at her sheet, taking staggered breaths through her nose, sucking the oxygen through the canula and coughing occasionally as the oxygen irritated her respiratory passageways in spite of the humidity added to ease the irritation. The only time she looked up or responded was when Carmen introduced me.

I smiled stupidly behind my mask, knowing she couldn't see for the cloth, but hoping she could at least see it in my eyes. She narrowed her eyes at me and snarled in my direction as she crossed her arms in a huff.

"Do I really have to have ANOTHER doctor? I already have so many, Dr. Carmen."

Carmen smiled and smoothed a hand over her hair, but the girl recoiled from her touch.

"She's a student, Charlotte, and working with little girls like you will help her learn to be a really good doctor. Do you think you can help her learn to be a good doctor?"

She snorted and shook her head with an eye roll. This poor little girl was so jaded already. The look in her eyes spoke volumes. For such a young little thing, this child was most definitely depressed, as she had reason to be. If Edward thought it was bad being stuck in bed all day in a cast, he had nothing compared to this little girl who had already spent three months in this hospital, trying to get better, and yet meeting barricade after barricade in her path to getting well.

Carmen finished her work, typing furiously on the computer with a scowl, the first I had seen all day. I shifted myself to look over her shoulder and joined her in frowning as we examined her latest test results. Her white blood cells were getting almost dangerously high. Her body was trying to fight it off with the assistance of the antibiotics, but in doing so, it was pretty much over producing, which could be bad as well. Yet Charlotte was showing no outward signs of improvement, in spite of all of her body's hard work. I sent up a silent prayer that she wouldn't have to be shipped off to the ICU for intubation and sedation. I just met the girl, but I was already desperate for her to get better.

We stood a bit longer, examining her chart, and attempting to chat with the girl before finally making our way toward the door. While Carmen headed toward the door, I returned to Charlotte's bedside, finally noticing that nobody was here with her. I felt bad for her. Carmen stopped at the door with her hand on the knob and watched as I reached down to pat her hand as she yanked it away.

"It was really nice to meet you today, Charlotte. I'm sorry you are stuck in this bed all the time like this. My boyfriend is down on the third floor right now in the same boat. He has a cast covering his whole chest and the upper half of his right arm. He's really cranky too, because he's tired of not being able to get up and the cast makes him all itchy. So, I sort of understand why you're not in the mood to talk, but if you decide you would like some company some time, I might be able to persuade my brother to loan me his PSP for a day. Maybe we could have a tournament or something and hang out. Would you be interested in something like that?"

Her scowl morphed for a nearly imperceptible moment into something else I didn't recognize before it settled back into a scowl and she shrugged. "Maybe."

I smiled and clapped my hands once rubbing them together lightly. "Nice! I am going to enjoy taking you on. What do you like to play? My brother is a video game head, so if you have a favorite, he probably has it."

She smiled lightly, fiddling with the edge of her blanket, before looking up through her eyelashes at me. "I really like Lego Star Wars II, do you think he has that?"

I smiled brightly and pumped my fist in the air, "Yes he does. I happen to rock at it, so you better bring your A game, missy!"

She giggled a little and reached over to pull her table closer, picking up a crayon and scribbling on the page a little.

"I'm really good, so maybe you should be the one bringing your A game."

I smiled and patted her shoulder, glad she didn't pull away. "You're on, kid. I have an appointment after work tomorrow and then I have to go have supper with my whiney boyfriend in his itchy cast, but the next afternoon I could maybe hang out for an hour or so after my shift if you'd like."

She smiled and nodded.

I turned and walked toward the door to see Carmen staring at me with warm, and surprised, yet pleased eyes. After we left the room, we threw away the masks, gowns, and gloves and used the antibacterial gel on our hands. Carmen smiled at me brightly.

"I have yet to see someone make that child smile. Good job, Bella!"

I blushed and thanked her. "So does she spend a lot of time alone during the day?"

Carmen sighed, "Unfortunately. When she first came, her mother took time off and was with her constantly, but eventually she ran out of leave from work. The Carrington's also have two other children that they have to be careful with. Once she moved into the ID ward, they haven't even been able to visit at all. She went from having her whole family around constantly to being alone most of the time. Her mother and father trade nights and come from eight to nine to spend time with her, but beyond that, she's alone. The nurses try to spend extra time with her, as well as volunteers, but she really doesn't encourage them to come back. It's really sad."

I sighed. "Yes, it is. I'm glad she was receptive to my idea then. I could use a break from my crabby boyfriend for an hour or two myself!"

We both chuckled as we made our way back to her office where she explained that starting tomorrow afternoon I would be checking in with the kids I met today on my own. If I needed any help or found something confusing or any results or conditions worrisome, I was to come find her in her office.

She took me into the doctor's lounge, settling me at the work station there. She had me log into the system, guiding me to the chart section, and pointing out the children I had met today. She gave me a list of others she wanted me to acquaint myself with since I would start working with them later in the week.

I thanked her and felt myself smiling hugely as I buried myself in the computer screen, learning all I could about the patients. I took time to analyze their newest lab results, noting with concern that both Charlotte and Eric had worrisomely low O2 levels during the last two pulse ox readings. I made a little note in my pocket notebook to check the levels again first thing in the morning.

After a couple of hours, I had read through all of the patient charts suggested by Carmen and had run across one more that intrigued me. She was a sixteen year old girl named Katie who had a particularly rough early start, but had eventually found the right combination of medications to keep her fairly healthy. She was in this time to received IV antibiotics for an infection she had picked up from school that had settled into a less troublesome form of pneumonia. I found myself wondering if she and the rest of these kids were once in Charlotte's shoes, feeling alone, isolated, and frustrated with this disease that seemed to keep knocking them down. I looked at the clock, realizing how late it was getting, and logged off the system. As I gathered my belongings, I contemplated asking some of my other kids if they had any suggestions of things that might help Charlotte without giving away any important information that would violate any privacy laws.

My mind was a flurry of ideas and theories as I made my way back down to the locker room where I showered immediately, not wanting to risk taking any contaminants to Edward with his fresh lung wounds. I changed into some comfortable yoga pants and a tank top before going to his room.

I walked in to find him sprawled out on the bed, one leg peeking out from under the covers, as he chatted happily with his parents. When they heard me, they all looked my way, smiling and I beamed back at them.

"Hey beautiful! Was today better than yesterday?"

I rushed to his bedside and slid into the bed next to him, placing a gentle peck on his lips before letting out a contented sigh.

"Much better, I think I'm really going to love working there."

I turned to Carlisle, "Carmen is Amazing! I think she is my new hero!"

He chuckled and nodded before asking what happened yesterday.

I frowned, not sure if I should share. I finally ended up telling him about my encounter with Dr. Peters, earning a frown and a low growl from him. I continued on with Angela's account of Carmen handling the situation with a firm hand, and he smiled a bit, chuckling quietly.

"Well, if anyone could set him straight, it would be Carmen. There's a reason why she's head of peds. She's great with the kids, but she's not afraid to take a strong hand with the attendings if they get too big for their britches."

I smiled in acknowledgement before the conversation shifted to other things. Finally, they left, leaving Edward and I alone. I settled into the recliner next to his bed. I lay on my side, facing him in his bed. He turned his face to look at me, intertwining our fingers.

"So your day was really good?"

I sighed, "Yeah, it was great. I'm going to be on my own a lot more up there. It will be a lot more pressure, but I'm excited. The kids are really amazing. Some of them have been in bed a lot longer than you, but most of them are still so upbeat, even with how crappy they must feel."

I noticed he dropped his chin a bit.

I chuckled. "That wasn't a jab at you, baby, just a stated fact. Oh, and by the way, I won't be here until late on Friday, either. One of my patients is pretty lonely. I'm trying to cheer her up, so I offered to hang out after my shift and play PSP with her. It was enough to actually earn a smile from her. Carmen said that she never smiles, so that made me feel good."

I watched him sigh gently and then smile at me. "You're a good person, Bella Swan. I love you so much."

I chuckled and rubbed my thumb along the back of his knuckles. "I love you too, Edward, but now we both need a chance to catch up on some much needed sleep that we missed last night. I know we have to talk about the Tanya situation. I promise that we can tomorrow at lunch, or tomorrow night, or something, but I'm just too tired to get into it tonight, is that okay?"

He nodded and pushed a lock of hair out of my eyes.

"Okay…goodnight love," he whispered gently as he pushed the button on his controller to shut off the light above his bed.

"Goodnight, baby."

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_**So do you guys forgive me yet for leaving you hanging at the end of last chapter wondering why Edward was being such a jerk? I hope so. I know it was mean, but I sort of wanted everyone to feel the same "what the hell just happened" confusion that Bella felt when she left the room, having no clue what caused Edward to be like that.**_


	38. Home

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Twilight's original characters.**

_**Thanks as always to my awesome betas Sassenach Wench and Sihaya 9!**_

_**Before I continue on, I should probably address the things that one reviewer brought up about this story after I posted Sympathetic Solitude. First of all, Cystic Fibrosis is not an infectious disease, but it does make individuals more susceptible to opportunistic bacteria. I didn't think I wrote that section in a way to make you believe that it was an I.D., but if one person misread it, then more probably did as well. **_

_**Secondly, the medical program in the US is not actually set up the way I write it in my story. My knowledge of the system was mostly comprised of Grey's Anatomy when I started this, and even then, I still didn't follow their model entirely. In a real situation, an intern would have already chosen their field of focus and would not just now be getting around to making that choice. So when you are reading this, just remember that this is fanfiction and none of it is real, so once again I need you to suspend reality for me and let me manipulate the system to meet my literary needs :). Please forgive me if you are in the medical community and are cringing at my use of creative license. I have tried my best to keep the actual treatment sections of the story as accurate as I can, but being a regular Joe Schmo, it's a bit difficult at times.**_

_**I know there were more things in the review that they caught me goofing on, but those were the biggies I thought I'd send out to the general readership just to clear the air. Thanks guys for reading and reviewing. I appreciate them all, I swear!**_

_**I'm glad you all seemed to enjoy the last chapter and the hot hospital favors in the one before...Speaking of super hot hospital favors…there is supposed to be one in this chapter that I have to edit heavily for the fanfiction TOS. For the full unedited version, please hop over to TWCSlibrary or Twilighted.**_

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**Home**

**EPOV**

After the big grovelfest last week, things seemed to get better. Bella and I hit a new stride and started communicating about what we were feeling. Some days it felt like we were doing nothing but bickering and bitching with each other, but at the end of the day, my girl would smile, curl up next to me, and thank me for communicating with her again. It seemed ass backwards that arguing about things so much was a good thing, but she equated it to opening a bottle of soda that had been shaken up. If you open it really slowly letting the pressure off in tiny increments it hisses really loudly and might bubble a little along the lip, but you can usually keep from making a mess all over the counter. If you let that pressure build up and stay there adding a few shakes every so often, you eventually open it abruptly without letting the pressure off slowly and it explodes all over you, the counter, and the floor. We were letting the pressure slowly hiss free, instead of waiting and letting it douse us in shititude.

We were both so exhausted that first night after we sorted our shit out that we didn't talk about much of anything; we just passed out cold and didn't wake up until morning. Hell, I even slept through the nurses coming in to check on me, that's how dead to the world I was. The next day, she popped her eyes open with a wide smile. Curling up on the bed with me, she cuddled close to my bare shoulder for a few minutes before disappearing for her morning rounds. I had to admit; since she had started her new afternoon rounds on the pediatric floor, she seemed so much more excited for work.

I couldn't help but feel a little resentment for that. I was still stuck in this fucking bed and she was out finding fulfillment with her job. Again…the selfish yin to her selfless yang. I shook my head at myself, mentally preparing for another morning of relentless questions and shaky attempts to move my limbs and put pressure on my sore muscles.

Lunch came around after what felt like an eternity, but I loved my time with my girl, even if we were talking about deep shit. The first words out of her mouth after she kissed me hi were an apology for not talking to me about the whole Tanya situation. She said that she had felt she should tell me. At the same time though, she had been worried about my reaction, knowing there wasn't much I could do about it. Now that Trager was gone, it was more or less a moot point. She expressed her worries that there could be others working with him, which weren't totally unreasonable. She finished off by explaining that in the midst of my adjusting to my new cast and my less than cheerful demeanor in the days following that, she just figured it could wait until I was in a better place to deal with it.

I couldn't help but feel a bit pissed at that. I wasn't a fucking child. It wasn't her place to decide what I was or was not capable of handling at any given time, but at the same time, I could understand her reasoning. I had been a melodramatic prick over little shit, so to hit me with something major would have seemed like a stupid move. I finally accepted her apology after making her promise not to keep anything like that from me again, regardless of the state I seemed to be in.

She cuddled into my side as we nibbled on our lunches in the first peaceful silence I had gotten to relish all day.

I saw her again for supper after her afternoon on the kids ward and her appointment with Dr. Kellison. She walked in looking drained, but not unhappy.

I smiled at her and hugged her as close as I could with my current impediments. Then I had her pull the bag out of the closet that contained the delicious Italian take out I had managed to get my mom to smuggle in for us for supper.

She pulled out the bag and beamed at the outside when she saw La Luce printed on the outside. She pulled the lap table over excitedly. She threw open the Styrofoam container, squealing as the aroma of their lasagna filled the room, making my mouth water. I was fully capable of feeding myself, but she was too excited and kept insisting on feeding me every other spoonful of food she dipped until the whole thing was gone.

Once she cleared away the trash, she curled into my side with a contented sigh. She told me how her day went without giving away any details that could get her into trouble. I noticed the tenderness and excitement in her voice as she talked about the kids she was working with on the pediatric floor. I could tell that she had certainly found her calling. She always loved kids and working with them seemed to make her even happier.

I smiled and tucked her head under my chin as she told me she would be late getting up to my room tomorrow, reminding me of her plans to hang out with one of her little patients. I smiled and kissed her head in adoration.

She didn't know it now, but I knew that one day she was going to make an awesome mom for some lucky kid that would probably end up having my crazy reddish brown hair and her deep brown eyes. I smiled at the image of little kids who were the amalgamation of the two of us dancing in my mind.

I sighed, burying my nose in her hair and taking a deep pull of her comforting scent. If I hadn't have pulled my asshole move earlier in the week, this would have been a sleep over night, but since she had been gone that night and stayed with me last night, I figured she would probably be going to Em's tonight.

"So, do you have to go tonight since I threw off the schedule, or are you going to be able to stay?"

She sighed and buried her nose in my neck, breathing deeply, before she sat up with a half smile. "I ended up sleeping away from you for two nights in a row, so I don't see the harm in staying two in a row to make up for it."

I smiled, kissing her gently as she curled up next to me again. We settled back to watch some TV before she had to move to the recliner to sleep.

The next day, she ate a rushed lunch with me and didn't make it back to my room until nearly eight. When she walked in, she had tears brimming at the edge of her eyes as she walked directly to the side of my bed and curled herself around my arm.

I asked her what was wrong, knowing she had just spent the evening after her shift was over playing video games with one of her young lonely patients. She just shook her head and cried into my arm.

"I can't talk about it because of confidentiality, but I hope that we are taking care of you enough that you know how much you are loved."

I kissed her head and rested my cheek against it. "Of course I do, baby," I whispered, wiggling my arm so that I could grasp her hand in mine and twine our fingers together. She stayed that way until ten thirty when she finally broke away and left me to spend the night away.

That, we had decided, would be her first night trying to sleep at our apartment since her nightmares had been getting more and more bearable. Dr. Kellison requested she try it out to see if the change in venue would make things any worse or if the dreams would maintain the same intensity.

Unfortunately, it didn't go as well as we had hoped. After my second phone call from her at around two in the morning, I told her just to pack a bag and come in to stay with me for the rest of the night. Fifteen minutes later, she was curled up on the bed beside me. That's where she stayed, glued to my arm, until morning.

The last whole week of physical therapy had been hard, but was slowly beginning to get a little easier. I was now able to sit up unassisted and could ride in a wheelchair. Twice a day, I was even given the opportunity to walk. I was grateful because it gave me a much needed break from the four walls of my hospital room, even if I was stuck to being led slowly along the same circuit of halls on my floor with every outing.

Slowly, I was starting to feel like I really was improving and moving closer to getting the hell out of this place. The best part was now being able to actually get off the damn bed to piss in the pot again, as sad as that sounds. The only problem I had was that my chest was itching like crazy and sometimes I would get a funny electrical shock feeling right at the spot where my scars now were, but I figured it was just part of the healing process.

Bella also seemed to come in each evening, practically beaming from her time with the kids on the pediatric floor. It made me glad to see her so inspired and enthusiastic about her career. So when the day came that following Monday when the therapists told me that if I wanted I could take a short field trip to another part of the hospital, as long as the nurses were told where I was going and a family member was with me, I knew exactly where I was going.

My Dad stopped by for a visit soon after the therapists left. I told him what they had said and where I wanted to visit. He smiled brightly at me and nodded. He carefully helped me to stand and walked by me as we left my room behind. He was wheeling my wheelchair next to us in case I got tired and needed to sit. We traveled past the nurse's station first and then took the elevator to the sixth floor.

When the doors opened, we were greeted with the bright and cheery decorations of the pediatric floor. Everywhere along the institutional corridor were happy scenes and decals designed to help a child's stay be more enjoyable. Too bad they didn't have an adult version of this effort!

We walked together slowly to a nurse's station where a sweet looking brunette worked intently on a pile of files in front of her. We were only there moments before she looked up, greeting Dad with a huge smile, before looking at, a twinkle filling her light brown eyes.

"You must be Bella's Edward, I've heard so much about you. I'm Angela by the way."

I smiled and nodded with recognition as I shook her hand with my left. "I've heard a lot about you too, Angela. Thank you for being so kind to my Bella."

She shook her head. "Bella's a godsend, everyone up here loves her…well almost everyone," she said rolling her eyes.

I replayed the story Bella had shared about the old ass who gave her a hard time on her first day and continued to be short with her when they had to interact.

"Here fellas, follow me. Bella should be almost done with her consults by now and should have a little time to visit."

She led us down a hallway that had carts of gowns, gloves, masks and other supplies on one side of the doorway; there were large red lidded bins with foot pedals to lift the lid on the other side. I remembered her talking about the isolation protocols she had to go through upon entering and leaving each room. Looking at the hallway, I finally started to understand what she really meant.

Angela led us to wait outside a room at the end of the hallway as she threw on a gown, mask, and squirted some clear gel into her hands rubbing them together before throwing on some gloves. She walked into the room, telling us she would return in just a minute.

Literally one minute later, she stepped out and pulled off the thin shield she had layered on herself, stepping to another squirt bottle on the far side of the bins and rubbing the clear liquid on her hands again. All of that had been done for one minute in the room to tell Bella we were there. I couldn't help but feel bad for all the patients on this floor and for the doctors, nurses, and family members who had to go through that every time they walked in and out of these rooms.

About five minutes later, Bella stepped through the door, talking through a crack in the door. She was answered back by a tiny feminine voice before closing the door. She removed all the protective articles, squirting the liquid into her hands and rubbing them together fiercely, before turning to us with a wide smile.

"Oh my God, you're up and walking! You didn't tell me you were walking already! What on earth are the two of you doing up here anyway?"

I smiled back, gesturing for her to come to me, but she hesitated with a frown. I frowned back as I answered and then tacked on my frustration.

"The therapists released me to roam the hospital a bit and practice my walking a little more as long as I am attended. I asked Dad to bring me up to see you. So, since I made it all this way, why don't you come hug and kiss me? Is something wrong?"

She frowned again and shook her head, looking sad. "No, baby, I just don't want to run the risk of infecting you or anything. Yes, I take full isolation protocol very seriously, but I always make sure to go down and take a really long hot shower to make sure I don't bring anything back with me to your room. You already have a weakened lung from the gunshot wound; I really don't want to see you have to fight off one of these antibiotic resistant bacterial infections on top of it all."

I sighed and nodded in understanding, but still very disappointed. She beamed at me so brightly though as she excitedly led us down the hall to a doorway to an office and knocked. Out stepped a tall Latino looking woman with gray streaks in her hair and kind happy eyes.

"Sorry to bother you, Carmen, but I have a visitor I thought you might like to meet."

I smiled recognizing the name as she stepped further into the hallway. She looked behind me, noticing my Dad for the first time, and then looking over at me with a knowing smile.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward," she said gesturing toward me in a showcasing manner before putting her hand on Carmen's shoulder, "and Edward, this is my new role model, Dr. Carmen Salazar, but she prefers to be called Carmen."

We shook hands and chatted for a little while before Carmen glanced at Bella, asking her a question about a patient. Bella frowned, obviously concerned about the situation.

I started to feel tired from all the walking. I gestured to my Dad that I needed to sit down.

He wheeled the chair behind me and helped me settle as the ladies talked very seriously.

Sensing their need to work, we excused ourselves.

Bella promised to come down to me as soon as she could shower up after her shift. Tonight was another overnight away, so I was anxious for some more alone time with my girl before she had to leave for the night. She blew me a kiss as my father began to wheel me back toward the elevator banks.

I smirked and caught it before blowing one back as my Dad snickered at us under his breath.

A few hours later, my beautiful doctor girl sashayed into my room with a wide devious smile on her lips. It didn't escape my notice that she was carrying her overnight duffel bag either when this was an apartment night. I looked at her curiously, trying to figure out what she had on her mind, but the room was currently occupied. Elizabeth had stopped by on another cursory visit, along with Tanya, who had just gotten off of a shift and was sitting with her feet up in the recliner.

Bella dropped her bag off in the closet. She crossed the room, leaning down to kiss me and ask how the rest of my day had been.

I smiled at her telling her it had been a great day, but even better now that she was back.

She smirked and winked. I'm not sure how, because everything she had done was innocuous, but somehow it clicked. Tonight we were going to give providing me a little sexual relief another try. My eyes grew wide.

Her sexy little smirk widened as I shifted my legs under the blanket, trying to disguise the fact that my body had instantly reacted to the concept.

The rest of the evening was an exercise in cruel, slow torture. New visitors trickled in to replace old throughout the entire night, not even giving me the chance to bring up my hope to Bella for confirmation.

Finally, the night was drawing to a close. As Emmett and Rose left the room, Rose shot Bella a knowing smirk before they disappeared into the hallway.

Bella came back to my bedside, climbing in next to me. She began running her hand up and down my thigh slowly, coming desperately close to my throbbing hardness, yet not touching.

"So," she whispered huskily in my ear as she nibbled the dangling lobe gently before sucking it between her lips, earning a hiss from me. "I noticed that you handled walking around and sitting up in your wheelchair all that time without a single wince or sign of discomfort today. It seems to me that since you seemed to be so much stronger…"

Her hand drawing circuits on my thigh shifted and ghosted where I wanted her. It was throbbing with weeks of neglect, causing my hips to buck involuntarily. A groan escaped my chest

"…and tougher…" she palmed me, cupping me in her warm caress.

My eyes rolled back in my head.

"…that maybe you might feel ready for me to give pleasuring you another try. What do you think?" She asked, shifting up to graze her lips over mine before slipping the tip of her tongue out to taste my bottom lip.

"Do you think you want to try again after the nurse does her last round before lights out?"

I moaned, latching my mouth onto hers, delving deeply with my tongue, and exploring her mouth hungrily.

"Oh God, yes, please yes!"

She snickered and shifted under the blanket, maneuvering herself so that she was slightly rubbing the heat of her arousal on my thigh. As we kissed, she continued her long firm strokes through the material of my boxer briefs.

It was heaven. I couldn't help but notice that all I felt was pleasure. There were dim twinges of pain, but nothing like it had been a week ago when we had attempted this. I did a fucking cheer in my head that this was going to work…FINALLY!

All too soon, she pulled away. I moaned at the loss of contact, wanting to pull her back, but understanding her reasons for pulling away. The clock had just ticked eleven, and the nurse should be walking in for my last meds of the night at any minute.

Bella crossed the room, disappearing into the bathroom with her duffel bag in tow just as the door to my room opened. My favorite nurse, Kim, walked in with a big smile.

"So, Mr. Masen, I hear you're feeling much better today, and even managed to escape the floor with your father this afternoon for a while."

I smiled and nodded as she handed me my meds, grateful that her visits were much shorter now that I no longer had an IV for her to check, nor was I hooked to any other machines.

She made a few notations and turned when she heard the door of the bathroom open.

Bella stepped out, wearing a white terry cloth robe with her day clothes draped across her arm. Bella smiled at Kim.

Kim smiled back before looking at me with another wink. She was a very perceptive lady.

"This is the last check for the night. Now that you are able to get around better by yourself, nobody will come back in tonight unless you use your button to call for us. If you need meds or any help to the restroom, then please feel free, otherwise enjoy your night."

With that, she disappeared into the bright hallway, closing the door loudly behind her.

I turned to see Bella smirking at me again from across the room. I shifted in my bed in anticipation, wanting Bella to hurry up and get over here into my arms.

It only took three seconds for me to be grateful I hadn't said that out loud. Slowly and seductively, Bella pulled one end of the belt that held the terrycloth robe together. It fell open slowly, revealing a very low cut, very short, lacy, black sliver of lingerie in the space between the two flaps.

I took a deep breath that hurt just a little and moaned in appreciation. I licked my lips, desperate to see more.

So slowly that it seemed like the worst torture ever, Bella dipped one shoulder, letting the robe fall off. A thin strap of the sexiest fucking teddy I had ever seen along with the soft creamy white flesh of her shoulder was revealed.

I glanced back at her face to see her eyes twinkling. Her sexy smirk flashed brighter as my dick twitched in excitement.

Soon the other shoulder shifted and the robe fell off to hand from her elbows. She smiled as she lowered her arms, allowing the whole thing to fall, pooling at her feet.

My eyes slowly drifted from the puddle of cloth on the floor up her long legs hardly covered at all by the extremely short teddy. The lacy bottom of the black teddy was sheer. As my eyes drifted up past her thighs, I saw that underneath, she wore the tiniest black thong I had ever seen. My eyes finally pulled away to continue up and I moaned again when they reached her taut breasts, only concealed by a tiny shroud of sheer black material, begging for me to taste and feel.

"You are the most amazing creature God ever created, love. Get over here and let me touch you…please!"

She snickered, but slowly sashayed towards me, swiveling her hips seductively with each step as she spoke.

"Unh, unh, Mr. Masen, I had mine last week, tonight is all about you. This was just a little icing on top of the cake."

By the time she finished her little proclamation, she was standing beside my bed, leaning over me. She brushed her hard nipples along my arm as she leaned over to claim my lips feverishly. I moaned into her mouth as my hand instantly came up to cup the mound teasing my forearm.

After a minute or two, she broke off the kiss.

I panted into her mouth, "But, baby, I love touching you. You can't dress like this and not let me touch you. That's just cruel!"

She rolled her eyes at me as she crawled up on the side of the bed, straddling my left leg as her hands braced herself on the bed above my head.

"I didn't say you couldn't touch, but I just want this to be more about you than me, okay? Besides, what I plan on doing tonight will make it a little difficult for you to touch me while I'm pleasing you…and trust me," she said as she leaned down claiming my lips again, teasing me with her tongue while her thigh between my legs rubbed up and down on my screaming dick, "I plan on pleasing you…many, many times."

I moaned as she crashed into my mouth again, as she continued to tease me relentlessly.

We continued like this for several minutes until I was on the brink of cumming just from her insistent massage. Suddenly, she pulled away from me completely, making me groan from the loss. I felt her shifting and shuffling as the blankets disappeared from my body. I was now exposed to the cool air of the hospital room.

It was a dark night with no moon to provide any additional light, so her movements were concealed from me. My only sensory feedback I could draw from to figure out what she was up to was the sound of her body maneuvering around me and the feel of her soft skin as it grazed and brushed past my legs. It was a surreal experience, having my sense of sight so impaired that it seemed to heighten the other senses, almost like being blindfolded, except without the discomfort of having something tied over my face.

Soon I heard and felt the foot of the bed shift again, followed by her soft silky hands brushing up my legs before grasping the tops of my underwear firmly and pulling them off. The bed shifted again. I felt her shoulders and arms on my thighs, then I felt the warmth of her mouth engulf me completel as I moaned loudly.

"Shhhh, you have to stay quiet, baby, or I can't do this for you," she hissed in the darkness. "Put the pillow over your face if you have to, but if I get caught, I'm going to kill you."

I chuckled and did as she suggested, grabbing the pillow from behind my head, holding it over my mouth as I felt the warm bliss again. I bit down when the moan building in my chest threatened to come out.

I felt little twinges occasionally in the muscles behind my cast. Thankfully, it wasn't unbearable, and was certainly not worth losing the heaven provided by my girl's amazing hot mouth. She quickly brought me to the edge and threw me head first over the side. I threw my head back, moaning loudly into the pillow.

I was the luckiest son of a bitch to ever walk the planet because my girl was a fucking goddess when it came to fellatio. There must be something to that whole having to develop the skill when you're not loose and easy, because holy fucking shit, the woman was the mistress of blow jobs!

I felt her shift and settle next to me on the bed, caressing my hair and kissing my lips as I tried, through my exhaustion, to return her attention with as much enthusiasm as possible.

We lay there quietly kissing for a good ten minutes before I felt my desire to touch and taste her build inside me again. My good hand began to ghost over her body again, touching and exploring the ample amounts of soft skin that the hot little black teddy left exposed.

We didn't get much sleep that night, not that either of us complained one bit. We spent the entire night exploring one another with hands and mouths. It felt so good to be able to be so free with each other again. It made me anxious to get the damn cast off so we could once again lie flesh to flesh and feel every inch of each other's body.

I tried to convince Bella to try to ride me, but she refused, citing that no matter how quiet we tried to be, the motions we would make alone in order for that to work would cause the bed to make more noise than we could get by with. I groaned, but finally conceded that she was right, making her promise that the first night after I made it back home, we would try though.

She winked and leaned down to kiss my forehead before shifting to whisper in my ear, "Count on it, baby, because I am dying to feel you inside me again."

I moaned and once again called her out on teasing. She giggled before helping me go to the restroom where we both cleaned up. Soon we were presentable again, settling back in for a short, two hour nap, which was all we could squeeze in before a new day would begin once again.

o~O~o

The following Friday, three weeks to the day of the standoff, I was finally released from the hospital. Bella excitedly arranged to have the day off. She shuffled around me all day, trying to make sure we remembered everything. I was so excited as she wheeled me out of that godforsaken room for the last fucking time and down to the lobby where my Dad waited with his Black Mercedes to take me back to our apartment.

It was mid December now. The air had gotten a hell of a lot colder in the three weeks I had been trapped in that building but I wasn't complaining. It felt like heavenly freedom to me. A low hum of excited chatter filled the car between my mom and Bella as we traveled the few short blocks between the hospital and our building.

Once we finally got me out of the car and inside, I was greeted by Jensen's brightly smiling face.

"It's so nice to have you back, Mr. Masen. We've all missed you!"

I returned his smile, "It's good to be home, Jensen. Thank you."

We rode the elevator in silence. As we were approaching our floor, Bella turned to me excitedly.

"Oh, I totally forgot to tell you, baby, guess who moved out of the building while you were in the hospital?"

I frowned for a moment before it dawned on me the one person she would be pleased to see gone. "Lauren?"

She beamed at me, hopping slightly in her spot. "Yes! Isn't that the best news?"

I smiled and shook my head, "No, the best news was that I was getting out of the hospital today, but it is a close second."

She laughed and nodded. As the doors opened, we all slowly emerged to make our way down the corridor to my doorway. Bella used her key to open the door as the smells of home wafted over me in welcome.

I smiled and sighed in relief. Finally, I was home!

My parents stuck around a couple of hours, helping us settle in and explaining the schedule for the physical therapists to come and go so I could continue my rehab at home. Melissa had been put in charge of monitoring my medications during the day to make sure I didn't accidentally take too much, while Bella would be in charge the rest of the time. This was something my Dad and Bella insisted on since it was not an uncommon occurrence for people on heavy pain medications to lose track and accidentally overdose themselves. I didn't mind though, I'd let them wipe my fucking ass for me if it meant I could be home again instead of trapped in that fucking hospital room.

Soon, my parents left. I melted into the couch, reveling in the blessed silence of our apartment. No constant low rumble of the nurses, aids, visitors, and patients meandering down the hallway all day and all night. No constant interruptions of my sleep at night by nurses and aids. Nobody to come in and say I can't sleep in the same bed as my girl…which reminded me.

I shifted, managing to get myself off the couch. I wandered into the bedroom where Bella was busy putting away my things that we had brought home with us from the hospital. I smiled as I watched her move around our room in total comfort. I sighed in contentment and shuffled toward the bed.

"Baby, can you come lay down with me for a while and take a nap? I'm tired and I really want to lay down with you in a place where we can both be comfortable for once."

She turned and smiled. "Of course," she sighed, rushing across the room to hug me. "I missed being able to nap with you in our bed."

She helped get me settled and then climbed in next to me, cuddling up to my good arm. Resting her head in the crook of my neck, we both sighed happily.

"I missed you," I whispered toward the ceiling.

"I missed you too," she mumbled into my shoulder. "I'm so glad you're home."

I smiled and shifted to kiss her temple. "Me too, baby, me too."


	39. Concerning Charlotte

**Disclaimer: You all know I'm not Stephenie Meyer by now…nuff said.**

_**Special thanks as always to my betas Sassenach Wench and Sihaya 9. And also a special thanks to Kimpy for once again helping me smooth out my medical stuff, sometimes I can't incorporate everything because it would mess with what I want to happen in the story, but I stayed as close as possible to her suggestions. Thanks again for all of your reviews/faves. You guys keep me encouraged to keep on writing!**_

_**Warning, this is another stressful, emotional, heavily medical chapter. Hope you enjoy!**_

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**Concerning****Charlotte**

**BPOV**

Edward being home was both a blessing and a curse. He was much happier being away from the hospital, but I didn't like that I wasn't able to have lunch with him. I missed spending a little time connecting and unwinding before my afternoon with the kids began. Even when he was being a cranky jerk half the time, I really missed being able to spend time with him during the day.

I guess another blessing was that it gave me more free time to try to get my Christmas shopping done. This year, I was failing our local economy by doing all my shopping online since I had absolutely zero time to actually get out to the stores and fight the crowds. I did miss wandering Michigan avenue and seeing all the lights and decorations for the season though. I promised myself I would try to get into the Water Tower shopping center at least once before the season was over, just to get my yearly fix of the holiday cheer I always felt there.

Everyone else was taken care of except for Edward. I just couldn't think of anything good enough to give him. Well that's not entirely true. I already planned on giving him what he wanted most of all...me...tied up in pretty red lingerie, a big bow holding it together for him to unwrap. He had reached the point where he could safely receive pleasure and we had spent several nights since his homecoming exploring the ways he could safely give me pleasure, but we still hadn't actually had sex yet. We both desperately needed to feel that connection that hands and mouths just can't replace.

Edward had gone in earlier this week to get his cast replaced. The doctors had been so impressed with the progress of his bones healing that they granted him mercy and provided him with a hard plastic brace he had to wear instead of a full plaster cast. He was now able to remove it to shower and had even broken the rules by taking it off for a cuddle session or two. I was still erring on the side of caution, though.

Earlier this week, I had caught one of my friends, a third year resident who had been assigned to Edward, to ask her if more physically exerting activities would be safe as long as we were cautious. She agreed that we should be okay, so I made my plans for Christmas Eve...our first Christmas Eve together in our apartment, on our own. We had plans with everyone else to be at Carlisle and Esme's Christmas day, but Christmas Eve was all ours.

Now, I'm sure if you asked Edward, he would say he didn't want anything beyond what I already planned on giving him. Actually, I'm pretty sure that if you asked him right now, he would say that if he spent his entire fortune on gifts for me and all I gave him was me in that red negligee that he would still be coming out ahead.

He was quite simply that horny, but I really wanted to give him something extra special that he could open in front of our friends and family. Something that would show him how much I love him, but the truth of the matter is that such a thing doesn't exist. Nothing seemed to fit. I was getting so completely discouraged that it wasn't even funny.

I sat staring at the computer screen in the doctor's lounge with my face resting against my fist in a full on juvenile pout as Alice came floating by, settling into the seat next to me.

"Still haven't found the right gift for Edward?"

I sighed and whimpered slightly, "No, and Christmas is less than a week away. I don't know what to do, Ali."

She sighed with me, resting her head against her fist like me. Finally, she turned to me with a wide smile.

"You haven't gone out for any real shopping this year yet have you, Bella?"

I shook my head and she began bouncing in her chair clapping her hands.

"Then come with me tonight to the Water Tower, Bella. You have to go before the season is over or it won't feel like Christmas at all. Maybe you'll find the perfect thing if you go and look in person!"

I sighed and looked at the clock. It was a Thursday, so I didn't have an appointment with Dr. Kellison. Edward would probably be a little disappointed that I wasn't home right away, but since this was one of his busiest days with a physical therapy session in the morning and his respiratory therapy in the afternoon, he could probably use a couple of hours of peace and quiet.

After contemplating a few more minutes, I turned to Alice with a small smile, "Okay, Ali, let's do it."

She jumped up, squealing and chattering nonstop about the stores we should hit. I groaned, wondering what on earth I got myself into. I picked up my cell to text Edward, letting him know I was going to be late because I had to finish my Christmas shopping. He responded that he was jealous and wished he could get out too, but then told me to have fun.

I was just about to go up to the floor for my rounds when Tanya came storming into the lounge, looking panicked. Her eyes rested on me and she appeared to relax a bit as she made her way straight over to us.

She stood before us, wringing her hands and looking pale and worried.

"What's wrong, Tanya? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

She shook her head and looked down at the cloth she was twisting between her hands before looking up at us with pleading eyes. Knowing there were prying ears all around, we stood up and led her out of the room and into a supply closet across the way to talk in peace.

"I screwed up so bad you guys. I...I don't know...I'm so scared." Tears welled in her eyes as she continued to fidget with the cloth in her hands.

Alice rubbed her back gently, "It's okay, Tanya, what's wrong?"

"It's so humiliating!" She blurted and rubbed roughly at her moist eyes. "I'm so embarrassed, and I don't want to know, but I know I have to find out and make sure. We used a condom, but then there were other things that I was stupid about..."

"Tanya, what are you talking about?"

She sighed and buried her face in her hands. "I didn't even think about it until today when a patient was admitted with an STD and then it dawn on me how stupid I had been! James..."

I groaned when I finally put the pieces of her rant together.

She threw her head back and yelled out, "God, I'm such a stupid moron! I had sex with James during that time that he spent with me in my apartment, and now I'm worried that maybe I could have gotten something from him."

I took a deep breath and swallowed hard, knowing all the possibilities and potential ramifications of each in her pregnant state. She was panicking when really she could be fine. Just because he was a creep, didn't mean he would automatically be carrying some malicious disease or STD.

"Have you discussed it with your Obstetrician?"

She shook her head no.

"That would be the place to start. She should have tested you for everything when you first went to see her as precaution. She can quite easily run the tests again to make sure you are safe. If something does come up, then she should be the first one to know anyway. Come on," I said, guiding her down the hallway with my arm around her shoulder as Alice held her hand on the other side, "OB is one floor below Peds. I can drop you on my way."

Alice walked with us to the elevators and then watched as we got on a car going up. I got off with Tanya on the floor and walked her to the nurse's station, explaining only the necessary parts of the situation. I directed Tanya to call her OB office and let them know I was leaving the orders for the tests with the nurses. That way all her doctor needed to do was call to verify my orders and then they could run them and be all set.

I left her as she spoke to her OB office with shaky hands from one of the triage cubicles before making my way back to the elevators and up to the peds floor. I was running a little late, but not too terribly far behind. Considering that I made my 'consult' rounds with the kids unassisted, it wasn't like I was holding anyone up by my tardiness.

I walked straight to Carmen's office to apologize, only to find she wasn't in, so I headed to the lounge terminal to check the latest chart stats for Charlotte and Eric before I got into their rooms. I walked in to find the boy's club eating lunch while sitting around on their phones and at a couple of terminals talking to their practice offices and in a few cases discussing surgical consults. Most ignored my presence or gave me small polite smiles...all except Dr. Peters and his small band of cronies who shot me death glares across the room.

I settled in and had barely logged on when I heard his gruff voice behind me. "A professional gets to their floor on time, Swan."

"Not that it is any of your business, Dr. Peters, but I had a medical situation that held me up from getting on the floor in time."

He scoffed and I looked up to see his sneer boring into my face.

"Taco day in the cafeteria is not what I would call a medical situation."

I bit the inside of my cheek hard and could taste the coppery essence on my tongue as I drew blood. I slowly counted to ten in my head, attempting to cool the anger before I replied, trying as hard as I possibly could to keep my cool.

"Dr. Peters, I know you don't think much of me, but you have no right to treat me with such ill regard. Basic colloquial manners dictate that if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all, so I am choosing to end this conversation now. If you will excuse me, I have patients to check on."

With that, I pushed the power button on the terminal I was working at so I wouldn't have to wait for the full logout protocols. I stood up from my chair, grabbed my notebook and stethoscope, and turned to walk out of the room once again with my head held high. I heard him mumble something as I left the room and a low rumble of several of the room's inhabitants chuckling in response.

For once, I didn't feel like I was on the verge of tears after his little episode, but I did feel frustration and anger. I pumped my fists, trying to release my angry tension on my walk down the hallway toward the nurse's station where I was sure Angela would let me log onto her computer real quick to check out the stats before I began seeing the kids. I was halfway down the hallway when I heard a warm male voice calling my name behind me.

I froze, turning slowly to see the tall dark skinned man with mostly gray hair approaching me. He was very tall and slender with a long angular face within which was set a pair of narrow eyes. I was halfway expecting another salvo from the boy brigade, but when he finally reached me, I realized that his eyes held a kindness that I hadn't expected. It was then that recognition dawned on me and I smiled slightly.

"Dr. Salazar, how can I help you?"

"Eleazar, please...I, like my wife, prefer to be called by my first name."

I nodded and pointed to myself, "Bella."

He smiled, "As much as I'm loath to admit it, you'll just have to expect to face this kind of attitude from some of these men on the days when Carmen is away. They keep straight when she's around because they don't want to face her wrath, but the second the cat goes away, the mice get...let's just say, snippy."

I chuckled and nodded.

He smiled back warmly. "If you have any issues today, feel free to come to me. I should be around all afternoon."

"Thank you, Eleazar."

I settled into the nurse's station behind Angela and checked out the vitals on a few of my patients, but in particular Eric and Charlotte, before beginning to work my way around the ward. I started with Eric who was looking and feeling much better these days. The nasal canula was no longer necessary and even without it, his pulse ox levels were consistently at 96 to 98 percent.

"Hey there, Ho there, little Dr. S." He had taken to calling me either little or mini Dr. S because both Dr. Salazar and I had last names that started with S and I was smaller and younger.

I chuckled as I approached his bed. "Hey Eric, you seem to be feeling mighty fine today."

"I'm great, Dr. S. One more day of clear sputum cultures and I get to move back to a regular room for a day, and then hopefully, go back home since everything else is copacetic now too."

I nodded along, "I heard that Eric, that's so great. I'll miss you around here, but I really hope you get to go home for Christmas."

"Yeah, me too," he said wistfully before yanking his rolling tray over his lap and typing speedily on the keys. After a couple of seconds, he looked up with a smile. "So how's Edward doing? You said he got the cast off, right?"

I felt my smile widen behind my face mask. "Yeah, he's doing so much better. I still haven't figured out what to get him for Christmas yet. It's totally stressing me out, but beyond that we're great."

He nodded. "Good to hear little doc, but you better get cracking on that gift. You only have six more days, you know."

I growled behind my mask and looked over his chart again in more detail. "I know, I know. Don't remind me."

He snorted and turned back to his keyboard, typing at lightening speed.

"Whatcha doing on there, Er?" I asked

A big smile stretched across his face.

"Chatting with my girlfriend on AIM," he said, a beep rang from the computer and his smile widened.

"Eric Yorkie! We've been chatting for how many weeks now, I've told you all about Edward, and you've been neglecting to mention that you have a girlfriend? I'm hurt." I said grasping my chest melodramatically and slouching my shoulders.

He chuckled and spun the laptop around so I could see the screen. "Her name's Jessi and she goes to my school. We started dating at the beginning of the school year. I haven't gotten to see her in over a month, which really sucks."

I nodded and then waggled my eyebrows at him, "Well, on the plus side, if you're free and clear of all the infectious stuff then you can spend a nice long afternoon making up for lost make out time."

He blushed bright red and ducked his face. I almost felt sorry for embarrassing him, except that I knew he wasn't the type to stay embarrassed for long and he had certainly had his fair share of jabs at me over the past few weeks.

"Well, thankfully, there's such a thing as online shopping these days or I'd be stuck. I was able to get everyone, INCLUDING my girlfriend, something from the confines of this room. You get to leave every night, so you have no excuse. You need to get that gift things sorted and fast Mini S."

I laughed and shook my head slowly. "I'll do my best, Eric. Now go back to flirting with your girl and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow before you are moved off my wing."

"Okay, Dr. Swan. If somehow you don't see me, it's been great getting to know you."

I put my hand on his shoulder, "You too, Eric. It's been a pleasure."

I left his room with a slightly heavy heart. I was glad he was going home for Christmas, but I was going to miss that little booger. He always made me smile during my rotation.

I rushed myself slightly through Bree and Riley since they both seemed to be stabilized with no major changes and were otherwise occupied with phone calls and texting, not interested in talking today. Makenna was in a bad mood, but beyond that, she appeared to show improvement.

Katie was in a good mood as always and was excited for Christmas, even if she couldn't go home for it. I swear Katie was the bravest, sweetest girl I had ever known. Her boyfriend Garrett was sitting at her side teasing and laughing right along with us as we chatted. I always got the biggest kick out of those two. Eric and Katie were the two that always managed to make me laugh the most.

At the end of the hall was the one patient that I always saved for last so I could spend the most time possible visiting until the end of my shift. I slipped into full coverage and stepped into Charlotte's room to find my favorite respiratory therapist, Sue, arguing with Charlotte about taking her nebulizer treatment. Charlotte hated it because it reeked of a sulfur type scent that smelled strongly of rotten eggs.

"Please, Char, just take the treatment honey. You know you need it to get better."

"No!" Charlotte shouted her face, turning reddish purple in her anger. "It stinks, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and it's not helping. Nothing is helping!" She gasped hard in her anger and I heard a disturbing wheezing tightness in her breath, she obviously wasn't moving very much air.

I rushed to her bedside, making sure the nasal canula was still in place and connected properly before hitting the reset button on the pulse ox machine to get a fresh reading, guessing that for whatever reason it wasn't getting an accurate reading. I threw my stethoscope in my ears, pressing the pad to her back through the opening in her gown. Her breath sounds made me anxious just before the beeping of the pulse ox alarm made my heart stop. I looked up to see her O2 reading of 81...really not good, especially for someone already on oxygen. I moved to the flowmeter for the oxygen to add some pressure to keep her airways more open and listened to Charlotte's chest again. After a minute or two, I checked the pulse ox again to see her level had risen to 88, not great but better at least. It needed to get above 92 to be safe.

I rushed to the phone on the wall to page Eleazar and Charlotte's nurse Amy, only to be met a few minutes later with the phone ringing. It was Angela.

"Bella, what's going on?" I explained the situation and I heard her take in a sharp breath and answer with a tight voice. "Oh, Bella, he was called down to the ER. I hate to say it, but you'll have to page Peters."

I groaned, but ended the conversation with Angela. I sent out the page for Dr. Peters at the same moment that Amy flew into the room and began expertly sliding around Sue, checking stats with a frown.

A few minutes later, he walked in and glanced at me with an eye roll.

"Please, Dr. Peters," I begged from Charlotte's bedside as I held her hand, noticing she was trembling slightly, "I wouldn't have bothered you if I didn't believe it was urgent. Please hurry, it's Charlotte."

He crossed to her bedside as I explained what I had heard. I told him what her O2 levels were when already on 30% FiO2 and how they raised slightly but still not enough to be safe after I increased the output to 50%. I explained my fear that she might need to be transferred to the ICU for intubation and sedation, to which he nodded somberly at my side. He checked the flowmeter and put his own stethoscope to her back to listen to her respirations.

Dr. Peters may be a total jackass, but he was one hell of a diagnostician. He was quick and thorough. I couldn't help but marvel a bit at his unquestionable knowledge.

In a whirlwind of orders and calculations that Amy and I quickly proceeded to follow through with, Charlotte's O2 levels slowly rose above 92, leaving me slumping in relief. He wasn't happy with the FiO2 percentage. He was standing at the computer, updating her charts, while I sat talking to Charlotte, when I noticed there was more going on than simply her O2 levels.

As I sat holding her hand, I noticed her shivering a bit more noticeably. I had been too busy before to notice she appeared slightly jaundice. While I spoke with her, she seemed confused and a little lost, not really following the conversation. I slid my stethoscope in my ears again, listening to her heart a second before sliding the blood pressure cuff that was hanging on the wall next to her bed onto her arm and pumped the bulb, slowly releasing the pressure and listening for the change. These were all things that had led Amy to frown just a moment before, and now I knew why. I didn't have a thermometer handy, but I didn't need it because as soon as I rested my gloved hand on her forehead the heat radiating from her head made me pull away in surprise. If she didn't have a fever, then I didn't know what the term meant.

"It's okay, Charlotte, stay here a second, honey. I need to talk to the doctor."

I approached Dr. Peters while he spoke with the unsettled nurse who appeared to be arguing with him. I stepped into the conversation timidly.

"Excuse me, Dr. Peters, but I think there's more going on here than we originally thought."

"Thank you, Intern Obvious, but I think I have things under control, thank you."

"Excuse me, sir, but what do you think is going on?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes at me stating that Charlotte had been refusing her mucomyst for the past few days and the mucous build up in her respiratory tract was affecting her oxygen exchange. I sighed, beginning to question my earlier evaluation of his work. He wasn't wrong, but he was ignoring some other major symptoms.

"With all due respect, Dr. Peters, I think she's showing signs of Sepsis." I felt Amy grab my arm and squeeze in support. That must have been what they had been arguing over. "The signs are more subtle and probably only those of us who spend more time with her would pick up on it, but she's shivering, feverish, very slightly jaundice, confused, and her blood pressure is quite a bit lower than what is typical for her. I seriously believe that we need to begin running a CBC, urine culture and urinalysis, a venous blood gas, blood cultures, and sputum cultures and be prepared to begin treatment immediately. Also we should consider transferring her to the Pediatric ICU if it's as severe as I fear."

He narrowed his eyes at me, reacting more to my arguing with his diagnosis than truly taking in the facts before glancing over my shoulder at Amy and sighing.

"Nurse Morgan was just intimating the same suspicion." He sighed before clearing his throat. "Okay, Go ahead and draw up the labs and put a rush on them. In the meantime, she's already on antibiotics for the Pseudomonas, but it seems that they aren't sufficient, so let's up the dose. I'll enter the order in the computer. Nurse Morgan, please go get the medication, and Dr. Swan, since you have such a good rapport with the patient, how about you draw the labs while Nurse Morgan takes care of the antibiotic. I assume since you're fresh out of school you remember how to do that using a central line?"

I nodded and thanked him before exiting the room and dashing down the hall with Amy at my side. She dodged into the med room while I went a little further down to the supply room to collect the necessary vacuum tubes for blood collection, along with the swabs to collect the cultures, and a cup for urine collection. I returned to the room quickly, sitting them gently on the side of the cart as I put on a new set of gowns and walked in.

Amy was attaching the new bag of antibiotics.

I walked to the other side of the bed and began talking to Charlotte. I settled on the side of her bed, taking her arm and explaining what was going on, that the blood I was about to take would tell us how to help make her better. Amy offered to collect the blood since it would typically be her job, but I wanted to feel useful. I knew I would go crazy if I had to sit around twiddling my thumbs with nothing to keep my hands busy.

Charlotte started to cry in the whirlwind of things happening all around her. Once again, luck wasn't with poor Charlotte and another roadblock had flown between her and getting to go back home with her family. Eric might be going home for Christmas, but things were starting to look like poor Charlotte might end up missing Christmas altogether.

I sat with Charlotte the rest of the shift, only leaving long enough to go call her parents after volunteering to take on the duty. Even then, I insisted that Amy stay with her while I was gone. At five o'clock, the labs confirmed that Charlotte was in fact Septic and was being transferred down to the Pediatric ICU where she would be sedated and intubated. Tears rolled down my face when I watched them roll Charlotte down the hallway, away from the room that she had been in ever since I started working on this floor.

I heard a throat clear behind me and a hand on my shoulder; I turned to see Dr. Peters looking down at me with more gentleness than he had shown at any point since I first saw him several weeks ago.

"I forget what it's like to be young and idealistic. Years upon years in this job can make you lose sight of what's important. Good job today, Dr. Swan. I made sure you were put on her list of doctors in the ICU. You can stop in and see her whenever you like even though you technically shouldn't be allowed. I'm sure Dr. Cullen would not disagree."

"Thank you, Dr. Peters." He nodded and walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the hallway outside of Charlotte's room, feeling completely drained and exhausted.

I texted Alice on the way down to the locker room, begging off on shopping, and asking if we could move it to Friday night or sometime Saturday.

_You're burning days before Christmas, Swan, but I understand. Go home and rest with your man._

I thanked her, quickly showered, and rushed home to curl up in bed with Edward and try not to cry my eyes out for little Charlotte, who was now in for the fight of her little life. I recognized that I was getting too emotionally involved with my patient, which was a major no, no, but I just couldn't help myself.

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_**(cringing) I know, I know…poor**__**Charlotte, how could I? It's rough, but it will be important to Bella. Hope you enjoyed the medical drama. Our next chapter is the Christmas chapter…fyi ;) Please remember to review!**_


	40. Declarations

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This chapter has been edited for erotic content. To read the unedited version, please go to thewriterscoffeeshop dot com/library or twilighted.**

_**You guys will enjoy this chapter, methinks. Yeah! Christmas Time is here…time for happiness and cheer. Hope you all enjoy. I will also be adding pictures to the FDKK photobucket album for this chapter, so you might want to check it out. **_

www. photobucket .com/albums/ww246/linacullenclearwater/SWAT/

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**Declarations**

**BPOV**

Edward had been so sweet Thursday night. He didn't even ask me what was wrong. All I had to say was 'patient' and he understood. He cuddled me close on our bed and let me cry on his chest. It was just all too much seeing Charlotte rolled away to the ICU in such desperately critical condition. It was an emotional overload after all we had been through over the past month. I simply couldn't shake the thought that it was just so unfair. She was only a six year old girl, she didn't deserve any of this, and yet, time and time again, she came up with the crap end of the stick.

I eventually fell asleep in Edward's arms where I found myself when my alarm woke me up at five the next morning. My sweet Edward had stayed with me all night, even though I knew he must have been bored to tears. All he ever did for the past few weeks was lay around. I knew it was the last thing he wanted to do now that he was home and more mobile, but he did it anyway to be with me. God, I loved that man.

He went to the kitchen, toasted a couple of bagels for us while I showered and got ready for work, and then sat with me at the counter to eat in quiet comfort. I had almost forgotten how great it was to just share a peaceful morning with Edward. I savored it as we shared the paper over coffee and bagels.

All too soon, I had to head to the hospital. I wasn't as excited today as I had been for the past week. I went about my day, stopping in to check on Charlotte during lunch and before I went to my appointment with Dr. Kellison. It was hard watching them wheel her away, but it was even more difficult to see her lying in the bed, intubated and under sedation. I put on the protective layers and spent my time in her room, holding her hand and talking to her between silent prayers.

Dr. Kellison immediately noticed my dour disposition, asking how things were going. I shared my fears and frustrations over poor Charlotte. She reacted just as I knew she would, admonishing me for getting too emotionally invested in my patients. I knew it was against all of the rules. When you're ruled by your emotions, it makes it hard to make the difficult decisions that physicians often have to make. I didn't know how to stop it, though. I was already invested in the weak little girl who was fighting for her life.

Alice tried to get me to hit the Water Tower after my appointment, but I simply didn't have the energy. We didn't have all that much time left before they would be closing anyway. I promised her that we would go the next morning and returned home to the one person that could help me really let go of the sadness and help me feel better.

Edward surprised me with a candle light dinner in the dining room. He had the Italian place down the street deliver my favorite mushroom ravioli. When we finished eating, he started a slow song on the iPod and led me to the living room where we cuddled close and just sat and talked, enjoying some one on one time together. We caught up without the hassle of hospital activity, nurses, visitors, and work. It was just the two of us, and it was a much needed break.

The next morning, I awoke to the doorbell ringing incessantly through our apartment while my cellphone continually rang out my ring tone for Alice. Obviously she wasn't taking no for an answer today, nor was she going to let me sleep in the least little bit.

I groaned, rolling out of bed. Edward began cursing loudly, pulling my pillow over his face, trying to hide from the sounds the pestering pixie was creating. I threw on my robe, stomping to the door with my wild bed head and a scowl on my face.

"Don't make me kill you, Alice," I growled at her when I threw open the door to find my hyper friend bouncing excitedly. Laid back Jasper was ogling her butt from behind with a big goofy grin on his face. I groaned again, rolling my eyes before turning and walking back into our bedroom to dress, knowing that Jasper and Alice would make themselves at home.

An hour later, Jasper and Edward were sprawled out in front of the big screen in the living room playing Army of Two on the Playstation 3. They barely stopped playing long enough to wave at us when Alice pulled me quickly out the door and down to the towncar that was waiting on the street to drive us on our shopping spree.

Once we reached the Water Tower shopping center, I was feeling a bit more awake and looking forward to finally getting at least a little bit into the Christmas spirit. All the other presents I had bought earlier were wrapped and under the tree that I had insisted on putting up the first day after Edward was settled at home.

Rosalie had her own tree, and Edward didn't have any, so I begged Emmett to let me have the old as the hills fake Christmas tree that we had my entire life. In fact, it was so old that my Mom had once told me that she was a preteen when her parents had bought it and then passed it down to her and Dad when they got married. It was scraggily and misshapen and always took me hours to bend the limbs back into a halfway decent shape. It looked pathetic when it was first up, but by the time I was finished with the lights, garland, and gazillions of ornaments that ranged from beaded hand me downs that my grandmother and great grandmother made to the special ornaments my parents bought for us each year, you usually didn't notice so much.

Emmett dug all of his out and kept them for the tree at his apartment, but all of mine were there, from the golden oval with a little girl riding a rocking horse that had my name and the date along with 'Baby's first Christmas,' all the way through the Barbie years to the ones Emmett had gotten me in our parents absence. It took me three hours to get the darn thing looking decent. When I was done, I sat in front of it with all the room lights off and just stared at the colored lights as they blinked and moved inside the boughs and examined the ornaments that hung from the tree, each having their own distinct memory.

I wasn't there ten minutes when I felt Edward step into the room and sigh. "That looks really nice, sweetheart. Mom always had designer trees with everything matching and looking like a perfect magazine cover, but this is just so homey and special. Can you tell me about the ornaments?"

I stood up and took the hand he held out. We walked up to the tree and I pointed out all of the ornaments, telling him all of the special stories and memories that each held for me as he smiled and kissed my head and neck. I made up my mind right then that one of his presents this year was going to be his very own special ornament for our tree.

Alice and I walked in the front doors and I couldn't help but smile at the festive decorations that hung from the ceiling and lined the sides of the escalators on and around the fountain that flowed between the up and down sides. There were beautiful Christmas trees covered in coordinated decorations and bows, teddy bears dressed as Santa and his elves working on toys and preparing for Santa's one night ride. Little plastic children were portrayed as sleeping in their beds as plastic gingerbread men and suckers floated above them as they dreamed of Christmas treats.

"I know where I want to go first, Al. I want to find somewhere that has Christmas ornaments you can engrave. I want to get one for Edward to put on our tree."

She smiled and nodded, but was quickly distracted by a sale in Neiman Marcus. She pulled me in as I desperately resisted the black hole of Alice in the middle of sale season.

After spending the next hour begging her to move on to look at the things I needed to find, we returned to the main rotunda and continued, finally finding a specialty store filled with keepsakes that could be personalized. I was immediately drawn to a silver picture frame ornament. I picked it up and visualized what I could put inside and what it would say. I smiled and carried it with me as I looked at various other gift options, but never finding anything I liked as much as the frame.

I took it to the counter to pay for it and dictate what I would like the frame to say. The girl smiled at us tightly, obviously stressed by the business of the season, letting me know it would be ready in three hours.

We started to make our way out of the store when I froze in my tracks and then turned back to examine a ceramic figurine sitting on a shelf. I hadn't noticed it before because I was focused on gifts for Edward, but the figurine called to me as it reminded me of a small girl fighting for her life in ICU.

I snatched the figurine off the shelf, stroking the tiny face of the girl that looked so very much like little Charlotte, reading in a chair with a beautiful Angel standing behind her watching over her who also reminded me of someone very special. I knew I shouldn't do it, that it was crossing a line, but I also knew her family was religious and would not be offended by the gift. I quickly raced back up to the counter, purchasing the figurine and watching as the lady behind the counter carefully wrapped it in white paper and tucked it in a box, before sliding it into a bag that I carried gingerly by my side the rest of the day.

Alice and I wandered while we waited, as I still struggled to find the perfect gift. I had absolutely no idea what to get him. We wandered from store to store, finally wandering into a novelty store that had the most hilarious ornaments ever. We both bent over, laughing until we turned slightly purple, and then both snatched off several of the cheap ornaments as fun gifts for our boys.

We both bought one that said 'My man plays with handcuffs', 'Warning: Police officers make me horny,' and 'My heart belongs to a police officer.' I also picked up one that was too good to resist for Em. It had a little boy dressed in body armor holding a toy gun that said 'My Daddy's SWAT and you're not'. We walked out of the store, both a little giddy at our fun purchases that, of course, would not be appropriate to open in the presence of the rest of the family, knowing we would probably reap some pretty positive results.

I was beginning to feel completely disheartened as store after store gave me no greater insight into what to buy for the man that I loved. I was feeling desperate when Alice pulled me into an exotic jewelry store full of jewelry from different places around the world. There were of course Claddaghs but also rings with Celtic love knots and runes and all sort of different designs from all around the world. I considered for a brief moment buying Edward a Claddagh to match my own, but couldn't really imagine it on his hand at all.

Then I saw a ring that caught my eye. It was a thick plain silverish band inscribed in a foreign language, in a script that looked somewhat masculine and stately. I asked the attendant to see it, observing the French words on the circumference of the band. _ Mon Coeur Entier._

"Excuse me," I said glancing back up at the older woman, "do you know what this says?"

She smiled, "The translation is written on the inside, dear."

I angled the ring to read the inside and I took a deep breath and smiled when I read the words '_My Whole Heart.'_I felt my eyes moisten and my heart speed slightly. I knew that I had found it; this was Edward's special gift.

I began to stress as I paid the five hundred dollars for the white gold band that perhaps Edward would feel strange receiving a ring from me. Was it too weird? I had the Claddagh; it meant so much to me to have something that symbolized his commitment to me. I just wanted to give that back to him, but would he see it that way?

I was nervously fidgeting with the bag holding the figurine, waiting for the lady to wrap the box in gold paper, when I felt Alice's hand on my arm. "It's perfect, Bella. He's going to love it."

"Do you really think so?" I still wasn't sure and suddenly I felt like I was making a mistake.

"I know so," she said as she rubbed my back comfortingly.

Soon we departed the store with the beautifully wrapped gift in a bag hanging from my arm. We went back toward the store for the ornament that I was having engraved. It still wasn't ready yet, so Alice suggested we rest a while. She led me to sit at the coffee shop as we enjoyed a nice holiday flavored coffee and the scenery.

Slowly sipping my cinnamon spice latte, I finally began to calm down a little, watching the stressed out shoppers rushing from store to store. I was thankful that my shopping was done. I studied the decorations that hung in the main rotunda, smiling at the sparkling snowflakes that were hanging from the various levels above.

We walked back into the store when our drinks were finished and collected my final gift for Edward. Alice called for the car to come back for us before meandering toward the main entrance.

We walked into the apartment five hours after we had left to find the boys still sitting in the same spot, playing the same game. We both laughed as Alice and I disappeared into the guest room where we set about wrapping our gifts.

I went to the computer and printed out one of my favorite recent pictures of Edward and I, sliding it into the frame under which I had them engrave our names with _Our First Christmas as a Couple_ and the year. I wrapped it carefully, putting a small silver ribbon around it and tying it into a puffy bow.

When I was all done, I put all of the presents I purchased under the tree, save Charlotte's figurine, being sure to separate Edward's 'special' ornaments from the rest. I had already decided that he would be opening those on Christmas Eve before he got to unwrap me.

Alice and Jasper stuck around until supper time and then finally left, leaving Edward and I alone to cook for ourselves.

"Did you get the last of your shopping done today?"

I smiled and nodded as I fiddled with things in the fridge, debating on what to make.

"I'm nervous, though. I hope you like what I got you."

I glanced up to see Edward beaming at me behind the thick stubble that he had let accumulate since we had gotten home, now that he didn't have the CNA's pandering to help him shave, as they had begun doing once I returned to work.

"You don't need to get me anything," he sighed a moment before I felt his arms wrap around my waist and his nose burrow in my neck. "You're the only thing I'll ever need."

I giggled and rolled my eyes at him, noticing he wasn't wearing his brace like he was supposed to. I had worried he would cheat if they didn't cast him again, but I wasn't going to say anything since it didn't happen often…besides, it felt nice to be able to rest against his chest without a barrier.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…but I wanted to get you something. I really do hope you like it."

I felt his arms tighten before letting go. "I'm sure I will, love." He shuffled back over to his seat at the counter and watched as I turned raw chicken and frozen vegetables into a stir fry. He told me all about how much fun he'd had with Jasper and how much he missed hanging out with the guys. I could tell he was really missing work. I hoped he wouldn't push himself too fast in his rush to get back to work.

Edward and I spent the rest of the night after supper cuddling under the lights of the tree on our couch, which somehow morphed into pleasuring each other on the couch. It was soon obvious that my plans for Christmas Eve were not going to be an issue, he would be fine.

The next morning, I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep. My thoughts kept drifting to the figurine boxed up in the spare bedroom, waiting to go watch over Charlotte. I slid out of bed and crept into the bathroom, trying not to wake Edward as I showered and dressed in the bathroom.

When I opened the door, I jumped when I met Edward standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips, shooting me a curious look. He took my hand and led me to the bed where he made me tell him what was going on with me and why I was trying to sneak out on him.

I tried to explain that I wasn't trying to sneak out to avoid him, only trying to let him get his rest, but he wouldn't drop it until I told him where I was going and why. He held my hand as I told him more about Charlotte, more than I probably should, in my frustration over her difficulties. When I was done, he ran his hand through his hair, sighing gently before getting up and crossing to the closet pulling out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

I watched him questioningly as he smiled. "I'm coming with you, baby. You need me and there's absolutely no reason why I can't be there with you."

I frowned over at him. "I thought you said you were sick of the hospital and didn't plan on stepping foot in there again for at least three months if you could help it at all."

He smiled at me and shrugged as he bent over, grunting slightly at the strain, sliding his feet into his shoes and tying them. Some tasks were still rather painful for him to do on his own, but he insisted...my beautiful stubborn man.

Thirty minutes later, we were walking hand in hand into the pediatric ICU. We stood at the doorway to Charlotte's room, looking in through the glass doorway.

Edward ran his hands over my shoulders and massaged them gently. It was really nice that he now had two fully functional arms, thanks to the design of the brace. After a long time, I handed him the box while I slipped into a gown, gloves, and a mask. I took the box back with one more look of gratitude before stepping through the door to Charlotte's side.

"Hi, Miss Charlotte, it's Dr. Swan. I just wanted to drop by and see how you're doing. I was shopping yesterday and saw something that reminded me of you, so I got it for you."

I opened the top of the box and removed the figurine from the paper, stroking the tiny girl's face before sitting it on the corner of the self on the far side of the room where she might be able to see it when she woke up.

"The little girl reminded me so much of you and the angel kind of reminded me of my Mom. She was a woman full of faith. She believed in angels watching over us and keeping us safe, so I couldn't resist getting this one for you. I really do hope angels are watching over you and keeping you safe. You're a strong little girl and a real fighter, so you hang in there. I really do believe that if you hang in there, you're going to get through this. After that, we can beat the bacteria, get you settled with the right meds, and then you can go home to be with your parents and your sister and brother."

I put my hand over hers and ran a hand through her hair. When I finally turned around to leave, I came face to face with her parents, Peter and Charlene. They both had tears in their eyes as they watched me. For a moment, I feared they were angry with me, until Charlene crossed the three steps that separated us and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much for caring for our little girl so much, Dr. Swan. It means more than you could know."

After a few moments, she released me. I nodded, not knowing what to say. Charlene left me to stand at Charlotte's side as Peter stepped up, offering his hand. I took it timidly. He said something similar before nodding and joining his wife. I watched them for a moment, talking to her and encouraging her to fight just as I had. After a moment, I walked through the door, shedding my protective layer. I scrubbed my hands and arms with the antibacterial gel.

Edward immediately grabbed me from behind, hugging me around the waist and burying his nose in my neck. I worried about the possibility of him somehow contracting the bacteria even though I was only in there a very short while. I tried not to stress, knowing that I had every limited contact, and with her being intubated, less of the contagious germs would be spread through the air.

"Are you okay, love?" He asked, kissing my neck.

I nodded and sighed, looking on the scene one more time before pulling away from Edward and offering my hand. He took it and we walked away together, returning to our apartment for the rest of the day.

o~O~o

The few remaining days before Christmas flew by. I had to work Christmas Eve, but managed to have Christmas day off. I rushed home after my shift Christmas Eve, jumping into the shower and dressing quickly into my specially selected lingerie for the night before sliding my warm terry cloth robe over it and my fuzzy slippers.

I exited to the living room to find Edward stretched out on the couch with the DVD White Christmas waiting on the main screen for us to watch. I looked at the TV and then back at him a couple of times with a wide smile. He smirked at me and winked.

"You remembered that this is my favorite Christmas movie?" He rolled his eyes.

"Of course I remembered! I remember lots of details when it comes to you that I wouldn't remember otherwise."

I dropped on the couch between his legs and leaned against his torso. He hit play before handing me a bowl of cinnamon roasted cashews and a cup of warm cinnamon hot chocolate. I squealed like Alice before twisting around to kiss him hard, running my hands through his hair, while he moved the delicacies out to the sides, trying not to spill them during my assault.

I finally turned around and settled back against him gratefully, claiming my bowl and cup, indulging joyfully as Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye joked and fumbled their way across the east coast with Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen. I didn't care if the movie was over half a century old; I still loved it and adored the classic Christmas tunes from the film.

I could practically feel Edward groaning in boredom behind me, but to his credit, he never complained out loud. Instead, he would chuckle a few times at me when I would sing along and sigh, exclaiming that I was born in the wrong decade.

After the movie was over, we sat facing one another, smiling like two goofy teenagers on their first date. After a few minutes, I giggled, remembering the funny ornaments I got for him and told him to hold still. I ran to the tree and grabbed them, running back to the couch and flopping in front of him.

He took the box and frowned down at it. "But I don't have anything for you to open tonight."

I laughed, "It's not a big deal and, well, I decided that they weren't appropriate to open in front of your parents or my brother."

He looked at me curiously before warily opening the paper as though he feared its contents. He finally peeled the paper away and pulled the lid off before staring down into the box. A wide smile slowly cracked across his face as he pulled out the top circular ornament that said 'My heart belongs to a police officer.'

"This is inappropriate for opening in front of my parents?" He asked with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes. "Keep digging, doofus."

He set the first one aside before pulling the paper aside and lifting the second one out with a deep belly laugh.

"Does this mean you want me to bring home a pair of cuffs for us to play with? Because, I would to be totally up for that!"

I laughed and smacked his arm. He laughed with me, a twinkle shining in his eyes as he set it down.

"One more," I gestured toward the box.

He pulled the paper aside and took a breath before chuckling deeply and looking up me with darkened eyes. He held the ornament out in front of him, letting it dangle from his finger.

"Oh, really? I certainly hope only one police officer makes you horny."

I smiled mischievously, standing up and taking a step back toward our room. "Oh, you can count on that, sweetheart. Not only that, but I'm feeling that way right at this very second."

I slid out of the slippers, taking one more step back at the same moment that I pulled the belt loose around my waist. I let the robe drop to the floor, leaving me standing in nothing but the red velvet teddy with fluffy white trim, only held together by one big red satin bow tied between my breasts.

Edward froze, staring at me with a hitching breath for a fraction of a second before he was up, crossing the space between us to stand in front of me. He claimed my mouth greedily as his hands grabbed roughly at my hips, pulling me against him. He was completely ready for me in an instant.

We kissed passionately, shuffling toward our bedroom, never breaking the contact. Edward's hands roamed up and down my sides over the smooth velvet as he moaned into my mouth.

When we reached the bedroom, I spun him to force him onto the bed. Once he was down, I stepped between his knees, running my hands through is hair as I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth and nibbled gently.

"So, Mr. Masen, do you like your Christmas present?" He nodded violently and I chuckled. "You get me tonight, Edward, all of me, totally and completely. I need you, Edward."

I couldn't say anymore because I was suddenly pulled off my feet onto his chest. He lay back on the bed, kissing me eagerly. I caught most of my weight on my arms, holding myself above him, hoping not to hurt his ribs…not that they seemed to be bothering him at the moment. He reached up and crushed my chest to his before rolling me over so we were facing each other on the bed. His hands explored up and down my sides under the teddy before catching the top of my velvety thong and yanking it down to expose me to the air. Within minutes I was panting his name as I tried to regain feeling in my extremities.

He smirked, waiting for me to recover before grabbing my hips and pulling me on top of him as he sat up. Our lovemaking was passionate and fast, ending with Edward falling back with a wince as he panted shallowly.

I rolled to the side, running my hand over his face, "Oh God, baby, are you okay?"

He smiled lazily at me and nodded, "Fuck yeah, baby! Holy shit, that was fucking amazing!"

I sighed and let my head fall on this shoulder; the strength of his breaths raised and lowered my head with each exchange of air.

"Now that's what I call a fucking Christmas present." Edward yelled at the ceiling. I laughed and nodded against his shoulder. His arms rapped around me and his lips found my forehead.

We fell asleep quickly after that, but to say we had disrupted sleep that night would be an understatement. Edward woke me by stroking my nipples at two am, and then I woke him by licking his shaft at five; at seven thirty, I was awoken to him grinding his granite cock against my ass, and we finally pulled ourselves out of bed after I got to have one more quick ride at nine.

We showered separately, knowing that the temptation would be too great and shower sex would be dangerous at this point in his recovery. I rushed into the kitchen to throw together the green bean casserole we were supposed to be arriving with at one in the afternoon.

Jasper showed up at noon, claiming he needed Edward to help him with Alice's present before the party. Edward promised to meet me at Esme and Carlisle's. They took the presents with them so I wouldn't have to try to juggle both the Pyrex casserole dish and the presents.

I finished the casserole at 12:15 and slid back into the bedroom to change into the red V-neck wrap dress I had bought especially for the fancy Christmas dinner at the Cullen house. Christmas was always a big to do with Esme. I had long ago grown accustomed to dressing for Christmas dinner.

I had called a cab and gathered the last of what I needed, tossed on my long gray dress coat, not bothering to button it, and made my way down to the lobby to catch my cab.

I pulled in front of the Cullen house and walked carefully up to the porch, hoping not to trip over my heels, while carrying the hot casserole. When I reached the door, it opened to Edward's smiling face, looking incredibly sexy in his gorgeous dress pants and dark green dress shirt with a red silk tie. I nearly tripped just at the sight of him looking so handsome and clean shaven. He hadn't been anywhere near this well dressed when he disappeared with Jasper earlier in the afternoon. I instantly became suspicious.

He took the casserole from my hand and leaned down to kiss my lips chastely. "You look breathtaking, love. Merry Christmas!"

I smiled up at him, "Merry Christmas."

He disappeared into the kitchen and then returned to me, taking my coat and hanging it in the closet. He took my hand, leading me into the den where a beautiful tree sat in the corner, perfectly decorated like every year. This year's theme appeared to be blue balls and white and silver snowflakes. It was topped by a gigantic silver and blue bow with long ends that wrapped around the edges of the tree and draped in beautiful angles before ending in perfect points.

Edward pulled me anxiously, directing me to sit on a pillow he had on the floor in front of the fire. He sat across from me and poured me a flute of champagne from the bottle on ice by my pillow. He handed me the glass and took his before running his hand through his hair nervously.

I smiled and reached out to grab it, bringing it between us to rub the back with my thumb. He looked deeply into my eyes with a strange intensity and then his back relaxed a bit as he smiled at me.

"I love you so much, Bella. So much more than I ever knew I could love anybody. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You're beautiful and smart and funny and brave and you calm me and give me a peace that I never knew existed before you came into my life. You mean the world to me."

He shifted so he was on his knees in front of me. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a blue jewelry box. My eyes grew wide. I gasped as he took may hand and kissed it.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you are my life now. I would be the happiest man in the world if you would agree to be my wife. Will you marry me, my beautiful Bella?"

He cracked the box open with one hand and lifted it out toward me with an expression on his face that was a combination of nervous and hopeful.

I swallowed hard past the lump in my throat. Tears welled in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that escaped was a squeak. I raised to my knees, reaching my hands out to cup his face between them and nodded vehemently while soundlessly mouthing 'yes' over and over again.

Edward's eyes filled with tears as I pulled him toward me, kissing him passionately. He pulled me into his arms, kissing my face, neck, shoulder, and any other place he could reach while holding me in his arms. After a while, he released me and sat back on his heels. He plucked the ring from its box and slid it into place on my ring finger.

I stared at the round stone with the two pear shaped stones on either side in awe as the firelight twinkled off of it, making it shimmer in its platinum setting. He lifted it to his mouth and kissed it with a wide beaming grin on his face. I watched before looking back down at it with wide eyes, recognizing that it was Tiffany's and probably cost a fortune. I glanced at my right hand where his family's Claddagh still sat and I looked up at him questioningly.

"You really didn't have to spend so much money you know. I would have been more than happy for the Claddagh to be my engagement ring. It is part of its symbolism after all."

He smiled and shook his head. "I wanted to pick something out that was expressly from me to you, something that was about me showing my love for you. Heirlooms are great, but I wanted this to be even more special. Do you like it?" He had the wide hopeful eyes of a little kid waiting to hear that their mom liked the homemade gift he had just presented her. I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his neck kissing him hard on the lips.

"I love it, Edward. It's beautiful! Thank you."

He smiled and kissed me again before burying his nose in my neck and squeezing me tightly to him. "I love you so much, Bella. Thank you for agreeing to be my wife."

"I love you too, Edward, and there's nothing I would love more!"

I heard a sniffle coming from behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see the far side of the room filled with all of our friends and family. Esme was clutching herself to Carlisle's side, her hand grasping his dress shirt in a tight fist. She lifted her hand away to wipe at a tear then reached back to grasp the material again. The rest of the group beamed at us with the exception of Emmett who looked a mixture of proud and slightly saddened.

Edward stood up and helped me to my feet, kissing my hand one more time before leading me to the group. When we reached them, Esme stepped forward first, hugging us both at the same time, followed closely by Carlisle.

Alice squealed and jumped around like a Chihuahua hopped up on espresso to our right.

Emmett hugged me tightly. He whispered that he loved me and hoped that we would have a long, happy life together. I later discovered that Edward had even asked him over to our apartment to ask for Emmett's blessing just as he would have done with Dad if he were still alive.

Rose caressed my cheek lovingly and hugged me gently.

Jasper pulled me off my feet in an enthusiastic, big brother hug. He whispered in my ear, "About fucking time," as Alice hugged me from behind creating a Bella sandwich.

Andy smiled down at me, tucking an escaped lock of hair behind my ear with a wink and hugging me around my shoulders.

"Be happy, Bella, that's all any of us want. You both do that for each other, so just be happy together," he whispered into my ear before letting me go and wrapping his arm back around Andrea, who smiled at me and offered her best wishes.

Tanya was the last to hug me with big tears pooling at the bottom of her eyes. "I knew the first time I saw the two of you together in the diner that you were his other half. The two of you were meant to be together." I hugged her tighter and wiped at my eyes as I smiled at her.

Edward got hugs and hard pats on the back too, along with a couple of brotherly admonishments that if he didn't take proper care of me that he would be beaten senseless, to which we all laughed. Everyone knew that Edward would take better care of me than anyone else ever could and vice versa.

After the congratulations were over, people began to disperse throughout the house, the girls returned to the kitchen with Esme while the boys disappeared into the basement. I took a step to join the girls in the kitchen, but Edward grabbed my elbow and pulled me back to him shaking his head.

"No way, you're spending all day in my arms my beautiful fiancée."

I giggled, snuggling close to him before I remembered my present for him. A slow laugh rose from my chest. He leaned back looking at me quizzically and I sighed shaking my head.

"So do you want your big present early?"

He cocked his head at me. I led him back to our place in front of the fire, grabbing the small golden shrouded box and handed it to him carefully. He looked down at it and up at me. I nodded for him to open it.

"I had no idea what to get you. I was so nervous about this. I wanted to give you something special and memorable, but I had no idea what to do. Then I saw this and thought it sort of seemed like you and the sentiment was perfect."

He opened the paper to reveal the ring box and looked up at me with surprise in his eyes. He slowly opened it, seeing the white gold band glistening in the firelight.

"It is like a promise ring of sorts. I thought about getting you a Claddagh to match mine, but I just couldn't picture you wearing it, and then I saw this and thought it was more your style."

He lifted it and examined the inscription with a confused look. "The English translation is inscribed on the inside."

He shifted the ring to read the inscription and he took in a deep breath and swallowed roughly before looking up at me with wide blinking eyes. I grabbed his left hand and pulled it to my chest. "_My Whole Heart._I couldn't have found anything that said it better if I had designed it myself. I love you," I said. My eyes teared and my voice cracked, "I love you with all that I am. I am yours forever."

He moved his hand from my chest to my face, wiping away my tears while I reached up and wiped away his. "You couldn't have chosen anything more perfect. Will you put it on for me?"

I nodded, reaching down to pull the ring out of the box and then held it in front of me, not knowing which hand to put it on. I looked up at him and he smiled, moving his left hand in front of me. I grabbed it and slid the ring over his knuckle to the bottom of his finger where the ring sat perfectly. He grabbed my hand in his as he stared at the ring in awe, and then tugged my hand to pull me forward against his chest to kiss me deeply.

We sat there in front of the fire sharing long passionate kisses, holding hands, and watching our rings pick up the light. It was one of the most amazing days I had experienced in all my life. As long as I lived, I would never forget it.

We lost all track of time until finally Alice came in, calling us to eat. When we walked in, everyone else was already seated. We exchanged a look and chuckled before walking hand in hand to our seats. He held mine out for me and then slid into the one next to me, taking my hand and kissing my ring again.

It wasn't until Edward reached out to grab the mashed potatoes to begin passing them that a gasp escaped the far end of the table. Esme had noticed his ring for the first time. Everyone but Alice appeared perplexed until we shared the story of the ring and they all smiled and nodded in understanding.

After dinner, we all worked together to clean up. Edward stood by his word, staying at my side the whole time, helping us ladies in the kitchen until my part of the job was done. Once I was free, he pulled me back in front of the fire for more cuddling until the rest of the family were done and joined us for presents.

Everyone loved their gifts. Emmett actually teared up a little at the ornament I had gotten him that was meant to be a bit more humorous. We spent a beautiful day visiting with our loved ones before it was reaching the end of the day. Edward began to smirk again when I suggested calling a cab because the wait would be horrific.

I looked at him warily, his smirk widened into a huge mischievous smile and the guys all chuckled behind me.

"I have one more little present, love."

"Excuse me? Wasn't this enough?" I asked flashing the expensive ring at him.

He rolled his eyes. "An engagement ring is not a Christmas gift because I would have bought it anyway, no matter what time of year it is. No, this is your real Christmas gift."

He reached into a drawer by the staircase and pulled out a small flat box with silver wrapping paper. I reached forward nervously and lifted the lid from the box, lifting the layer of cotton from the top of the item in the box to see a set of keys.

My eyes shot up to his. He smirked at me again with twinkling eyes and I groaned.

"Oh, you didn't…I don't need a car, Edward. I live six blocks from my job, there's no reason for me to have a car."

He shook his head at me and sighed. "There are many things in this city that are a pain for you to experience without a car. Not only that, if you ever feel like just getting out on the open road and taking a drive, now you can."

He pulled the keys out of the box and dragged me to the door that led to his parent's garage. The rest of the party followed us with wide smiles.

I stepped into the garage and Edward hit the lights. I gasped in shock as a wave of dizziness hit me.

"Holy Fucking Shit, Edward! You bought me a brand new Dodge Viper? Those things are a hundred grand! Have you lost your ever loving mind?"

Edward's eyes popped out of his head a bit at the fact I had used that language in the presence of his parents. It only lasted for moment before he chuckled and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the bright red convertible, a big silver bow tied on the roof.

"Edward, I can't accept this car…it's too much."

He groaned and rolled his eyes, grasping my upper arms in his hands and held me out in front of him. "Yes, you can. You just agreed to be my wife, Bella. That means that in a year or so, when we make it legal, everything I have will be half yours, including that massive trust fund."

I crossed my arms and blurted, "Then I want a prenup!"

He rolled his eyes again but everyone behind me just laughed. "Prenups are usually to keep people from stealing your money, not to keep from letting them give it to you. You are insane, you know that?" He said with an amused twinkle in his eye and a disbelieving grin.

"Anyway, this car wasn't even three percent of the total balance in that account, so I don't want to hear any more about it. You've been drooling over Dodge Vipers for as long as I've known you…now just accept it and be excited about it like I know you want to be."

I stared him down for a long time, wanting to stay mad, but he was right, I was dying to get behind the wheel of that car…my dream car since the minute I was old enough to drive. I swallowed and he smiled, knowing that my resolve was melting quickly away. Finally, I closed my eyes and sighed with a smile.

I felt him pull me hard against him and spin me around in circles before kissing my lips repeatedly. "Thank you, Bella. I've wanted to do this for you for so long. Thank you for letting me!"

Once that was settled, the chaos behind me started. The guys all began to argue over who was going to drive it first. I whipped around on them with narrowed eyes.

"Oh no you don't! MY CAR…I drive it first!"

I ripped the keys out of Edward's hand and ran to the car door, hopping behind the wheel, Edward laughing behind me. He ran to the passenger side, hopping in with me. I started the engine and let the purr fill the garage.

The door behind me opened and I slid the beautiful car into reverse, carefully backing out into the driveway and onto the street. I pressed the clutch and put it into first, gently pressing the gas as I released the clutch. We darted off as I screamed in surprise. Edward laughed at me and watched me with amused eyes while I attempted to get used to the touchy gas pedal and brake as we wove our way through the city streets. I was so itching to get it onto some open highway and open it up, but I knew we needed to get back.

I pulled back into the driveway to find Emmett, Jasper, and Andy all standing by to open my car door before I could put on the parking break. They all begged and pleaded for the keys. I looked at them all smugly before finally sighing and handed the keys to Emmett. Jasper and Andy looked hurt and I shrugged.

"Well he is my big brother and gave up his last two years of dorm life to take care of me. I sort of owe him. Besides, he's going to be a Dad soon, so he'll never get to own a car like this in his lifetime!"

He groaned as I patted his arm before he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"I love you, sis."

I looked back up at him. "I love you too, brother bear. Go have fun. Take these two yahoos and trade out after about ten minutes. I want this back in this driveway in thirty minutes or you'll never drive it again!"

He stood straight, saluting me. I smacked his arm with a chuckle. The boys slid into the seats and disappeared around the corner just as Edward slid up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"It's cold out here, love. Let's go back inside."

I let him lead me back inside to our spot in front of the fireplace where we lounged until everyone else left. Only Carlisle and Esme were left to sit with us in the cozy den.

Carlisle and Esme cuddled on the couch while Edward and I nuzzled in front of the fire. Finally, the fire began to dim. We gave our last hugs and kisses goodbye before climbing into the Viper to drive back to our apartment. I was nervous driving downtown with my perfect new car. When we got back, Edward directed me to pull into the underground garage where a space for my Viper waited next to his Volvo. I stood back, admiring it a moment more. I knew that I wouldn't get many opportunities to drive it, especially in the winter, but I had grand visions of taking it out in the summer with the top down and driving up to the summer house in it with my hair flowing behind me in the breeze.

We returned to our apartment. The second the door closed, Edward had me pressed against the wall of the vestibule.

"We're engaged," he said huskily after a few minutes of passionate kissing.

"Yes, we are," I answered back smirking up at him.

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life making you happy, Bella Swan, soon to be Masen."

I smiled up at him watching as he frowned for a second. "You do want to take my name, don't you?"

I chuckled and ran my hands through his hair. "Baby we haven't even been engaged twelve hours yet. Can't we save these discussions for another day? Preferably after I've taken you back to our bedroom and made love to you all night long?" I nibbled his ear as I finished, whispering the last part as I kissed his neck, earning a groan.

"Yes, please," he moaned before our lips found each other again. We stumbled in the dark toward our bedroom, maintaining our fervent liplock the whole way.


	41. The Name Game

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight Characters. **

_**This one is really short. Hope you like it!**_

**The Name Game**

**EPOV**

Things went so much better than I could even begin to anticipate. The proposal was the single most gratifying moment of my life. The look on her face, the emotions behind her eyes, it was all simply perfect. Then a little later, she shocked the hell out of me by giving me her present, which was a 'promise' ring that basically said what an engagement ring never could, her heart was mine forever. I asked her to the put the ring on my finger and I swear to god I felt like I was marrying her right then. I guess deep down inside I was. I was already committed to this woman for the rest of eternity; all we were going to do now was make it legal.

I shifted my weight as subtly as possible. I lifted my head to prop it on my arm so I could stare down at my beautiful sleeping Bella, my fiancée. It sounded so strange to say the word, and yet it felt so good. She was mine, and soon it would be sorted so that the entire world knew it.

I could feel the cool band on my left ring finger under my face. I caressed it with my thumb, savoring the feeling. It felt so fucking right, and while some of the guys will probably call me pussy whipped, I was damn proud to wear that ring. I wouldn't be ashamed to wear my wedding band, and I wasn't going to be ashamed of this symbol of my angel's love either.

She stirred lightly in her sleep. I struggled to resist the urge to wake her again. We had already had a very passionate night on Christmas Eve, filled with early morning wake up calls this morning. Once we got home tonight, we immediately disappeared into our bedroom for two rounds before she finally passed out from exhaustion. Honestly, I should be sleeping even harder than she was. I had even less sleep than she had worrying about setting everything up for the proposal and giving her the car, which she accepted with far less fighting than I had anticipated I might add, score two for Edward!

Add to that the fact that I'm mending from having two ribs practically shattered and my lung punctured from a fucking fifty cal, I should be dead to the world. I couldn't sleep though, in fact, I had never felt more awake and alive. For once in my godforsaken life, something was actually going my way. Things were falling into place that I never dreamed I would get to have, a soul mate to love and marry, a deeper connection with everyone I love, and bridging that final gap between my parents and I...and it all comes back to my angel.

She shifted again, her eyelids fluttering before her beautiful brown eyes opened slowly and stared at me sleepily.

"Edward Anthony, what on earth are you still doing up?"

I smiled down at her, reaching over to draw the infinity symbol on the soft flesh of her stomach. "Just watching my beautiful fiancée sleep. Oh, Bella, I'm so happy right now, I just can't sleep."

She smiled up at me, reaching up to run her hand over my cheek and through my hair. "You make me so happy, Edward...so very happy."

I leaned down and began kissing her gently, slowly brushing our lips together as I shifted my weight over her torso. She moaned and shifted under me, hitching her leg around my thigh and running her other hand through my hair. I slid my hand down and teased her nipple with my new ring. It was my newest favorite taunt for her body and it was always rewarded with her writhing against me, bucking her hips against me deliciously.

By the time morning came, we had completed five full rounds, plus two extra climaxes for her. She was completely limp and complacent next to me on the bed. I tried to get her to get up to have breakfast with me, with little luck.

Even though she was off ER shifts, when it came time for her turn to take graveyard rounds in the ER, Dr. Carmen decided that it would do Bella good to find out what an overnight on the peds floor was like. She asked her to go in at ten and spend the whole week assisting the nurses and doctors, just getting a feel for what a night for the kids felt like and then rounding with her class the next morning before getting off at ten in the morning. So my goal was to get her up for a lazy breakfast, some quiet cuddle time on the couch, and then back to bed by my side for a long nap for the both of us to make up for our lack of sleep during the night.

After much prodding, I got her up and sitting at the island in the kitchen, nursing a huge mug of hot coffee. She looked so adorable with her squinty eyes and her messy haystack of hair. She didn't even seem to care as she flipped open the paper and stared down at the page, not really seeing the script in front of her. I had to chuckle.

I popped two bagels in the toaster and grabbed the Philadelphia cream cheese spread out of the fridge to slide in front of her before pouring us both small glasses of orange juice for a little vitamin C. When the bagels popped up, I grabbed them and slid them in front of her and my empty seat at the counter, before coming around and hopping onto my seat, kissing her on the temple as I reached past her for the spread.

We ate in silence for a little while before she turned to me with a wide eyed look as though she just thought of something.

"Didn't you mention last night that you wanted to talk out some details?" She flashed me her engagement ring to remind me of what details she was referring.

I nodded. She cocked her head at me with a worried expression. "You're not worried about anything are you? I mean it's fast, but..."

I cut her off, "Some people might say it's fast, but I think you agree with me that when you've been as close as we have for so many years and feel the way we do about each other, it's not fast at all. I mean, good god, we've loved each other for over half a decade! I think we've waited long enough."

She smiled at me with a chuckle, reaching up to brush her hand across my cheek, nodding in agreement. "I agree whole heartedly. What did you want to talk about then? I remember you sounding concerned about something, but to be honest, honey, I was so worked up that the topic of conversation was a bit lost on me."

I smirked at her and felt my chest tighten again in lust. Holy fuck, was my body making up for a month worth of near celibacy or what?

"Yeah, I've been known to distract you from time to time haven't I?" I quirked an eyebrow at her and she flushed a moment before reaching over, smacking my arm with the rolled up newspaper in her hand.

I laughed and took a long drink from my juice before continuing on. "Actually, I called you Isabella Swan, soon to be Masen, but then it started me thinking that we never talked about you changing your name. I, of course, would hope you would want my name, but it dawned on me one day in Minnesota."

She grabbed my arm, "Minnesota?"

I smirked at her and nodded, "Yes, baby, I've been thinking about making you my wife since Minnesota."

She stared at me with wide eyes, her coffee cup half way between the counter and her face, and an open mouth that made me chuckle harder.

"Anyway, it dawned on me that being the feminist you are, that you might want to keep your maiden name, which would be disappointing, but I would understand. I have to admit, though, something about you taking my name just..." I trailed off staring into space and shivered at the power of her walking around with my last name.

"Wow," she sighed after a moment with her coffee cup still poised in the air. She set it down slowly. "You know, I've never really thought about it. Even as a little girl I never went around imagining being married or even writing my name with another boy's last name on my notebooks, like my friends did. The thought never occurred to me, actually."

My hope plummeted. Somehow, I knew she was going to end up not changing her name. "You could always hyphenate it?"

She looked over and smiled. "Bella Swan-Masen? Dr. Swan-Masen?" She shook her head, "It sounds strange, doesn't really flow. Bella Masen...Bella Masen...wow that sounds so strange to my ears." She shrugged a little and took a drink of her coffee. "Maybe I'll just take some time and let it marinate to see how it sounds."

I nodded in assent, but I could feel my shoulders slump in my chair until I heard her giggle next to me.

"You know, we could always do like some of those really progressive couples do. They take the letters of their last names and create a new last name that they both change their names too. Hmmm...we could be Edward and Bella Swamsen...or Edward and Bella Mensaw?"

I smiled over at her; she giggled to herself, taking a pencil out of the holder on the counter that we kept handy for crossword puzzles and began rearranging our last names to make new strange ones. I shook my head, thinking once more how fucking cute she was. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"As long as it's Edward and Bella, I could give a rat's ass what last names we have, actually."

She chuckled again as I took the pencil, set it down, and pulled her with me toward our living room. I settled onto the couch, pulling her down to rest with her back against my chest once more. I tangled the fingers of our left hands and held them up into the light, enjoying the sight of our rings sparkling together in the sunshine.

"That just looks so fucking right," I mumbled under my breath, but she must have heard me because she nodded and pulled our hands down to kiss our rings before bringing them down to rest on her stomach.

We flipped on the TV, surfing through the channels, before finally settling on some fucking clay animation thing about Rudolph and New Year's. Bella got all excited over it, telling some story about her family watching it every year when she and Emmett were really young.

When it was over, it was getting kind of close to lunch. Even though neither of us was starving yet, we both knew we should eat before going back to bed. We assembled some cold cut sandwiches that we ate in front of the TV, now watching old Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes. At least this one we both enjoyed.

We crashed around one in the afternoon. Even though my body was totally wiped, my mind still kept going over the discussion Bella and I had in the kitchen. It started me thinking about something that had crossed my mind a time or two in the past, but I quickly dismissed it. The whole last name discussion brought it up again for me and I wondered how she would feel about it.

I fell asleep pondering the issue of names and dreamed of little bronze haired, brown eyed and brown haired, green eyed babies running around with the last name of Swamsen.


	42. A Happy New Year

**WARNING: I GIVE UP! I tried to edit this chapter for content and it just wasn't possible. People keep telling me that I shouldn't bother and just post the original version, so I'm doing it. From this point on there will be FULL EROTIC Content! If that bothers you then I am sorry. If I get reported, I'm just going to pull the whole story and say to heck with it. It's available on both Twilighted and The Writer's Coffee Shop Library. So From this point on THERE WILL BE NO MORE EDITING! I know, I know…I'm sorry for putting you through all this and then just stopping the whole reason I was making you wait, but I can't stand it anymore! LOL! So The rest of these should pop up quickly. Thanks for your patience.**

_**Thanks to my Twilighted beta Sassenach Wench and my guest beta AgoodWitch for helping get this chapter out. Also a big thanks my pal Kimpy for her medical input, she has been such an invaluable resource!**_

_**There is a new playlist to go along with this chapter. Check it out if you want to listen along! I'm also issuing a steam warning with this chapter. You may want a fan, supply of ice cubes, or the ability to run outside if you have snow on the ground like we do to relieve a bit of the heat! LOL! Hope you enjoy!**_

http:/www. youtube. com/view_play_list?p=DA4E3CAE8C23F6BD

**A Happy New Year**

**BPOV**

The more I thought about Edward's question about the whole name thing, the more I realized that I wanted to be his wife in every way. Part of that meant taking the name Masen, so I would be fine with that. _Sure it would be an adjustment, but I loved the idea of being his wife._ I thought as I walked the six blocks to work from our apartment.

Edward had wanted to escort me to work, but I refused. He wouldn't admit it, but he was really, really sore from our overenthusiastic bedroom activities over the past two days. He probably shouldn't have been doing it at all, but we were both so damn horny and needed it so badly, I just couldn't help but give in. I did, however, insist on being on top every time, hoping it would keep the impact on him to a minimum. Unfortunately...well actually, fortunately for me, because it felt damn good...but unfortunately for him, his hips had a mind of their own and even though I was on top, he did a lot of the work himself.

I sighed as I remembered how amazing it felt to have him inside me again. There is definitely something potent about sex after you've been forced into celibacy for an extended period of time, everything is so much more sensitive and each touch is so much more intense.

I shivered at just the thought of the intensity of our union. I felt the tingle between my legs. I rolled my eyes at myself acting no better than a hormonal teenager as I crossed the street to enter the main lobby. I rushed to the locker room, having fifteen minutes to get ready and hit the peds floor for my first graveyard shift with the rest of the residents on night shift.

I changed into my work shoes and reluctantly took my rings off my fingers and slid them on the chain around my neck. I learned not long after I got the Claddagh that ring removal was quite necessary with the constant putting on and taking off of gloves, but it pained me so much more to remove my beautiful engagement ring. I slid it off and kissed it before hanging it around my neck, feeling the weight of the large and yet not too large diamond over my heart. I triple checked the latch before exiting the locker room, making my way to the elevators.

So far on my peds rotation, I hadn't really gotten to interact with any of the other med students working the wing because most of their time was spent on the floor for morning rounds or at night, but the afternoons when I was around was typically devoid of residents in my area of the unit. Occasionally you would hear about one coming in for a page, but it was never in the room I was working in. They were always in and out before I could even really catch a glimpse of them.

I hit the floor at ten that first evening to find it eerily silent and very dim. Carmen had given me very specific directions. For my first night shift, I was supposed to search out the peds floor nurse, Diane, and follow her around just to get a feel for what the nurses do and help out where needed. By the time I arrived, a lot of their first rounds of the night were complete. The lights were out in all of the patients' rooms and the nurses were charting at their stations while keeping their eyes and ears open for call lights.

Not knowing what else to do with myself, I logged onto the unused computer station in the nurse's station and started reviewing the charts of my patients to see how they had been doing over the past two days.

I smiled when I noted that Eric had been released Christmas Eve. I was so glad he got to be home with his family for Christmas.

Katie seemed to be showing major improvement and there was a notation that she would probably be moving out of the ID wing and back onto another section of the peds floor.

I glanced at a few others, pleased that they all seemed to be doing well. Once I checked on all of my current patients I pulled up Charlotte's records to see how she was faring. There seemed to be no change. They had to do a little adjusting of her ventilator because her venous blood gasses were off, but since then there had been no major changes. I wondered how Carmen would react if I requested to spend one night assisting in the peds ICU to see what it was like and to assist a little more with Charlotte again. All I could do was ask right?

After spending my first graveyard in this unit, I had a whole new respect for the nurses. They were constantly busy making all the big decisions since there wasn't a doctor in sight. Occasionally they would have to call a doctor or page one to come make a big judgment call, but the rest of the time they were totally amazing, organized, well oiled machines.

As the sun rose in the sky that first morning, I left the peds floor to go down to the third floor to join the Femmes for morning rounds. I hadn't been nearly as busy personally as I would have been working in the ER since the nurses pretty much run the show on night shifts. I was just along for the ride, but I walked out of the hospital feeling ten times more exhausted than I normally did after a night shift.

I stumbled into the apartment at 10:30 and dashed straight to the showers. I wasn't having as much direct contact with my ID patients on graveyard and spent much more of my time in the other areas lending a hand, so I figured showering at the hospital wasn't totally necessary today.

When I stepped out, I came face to face with a smirking Edward with bedroom eyes. I groaned because, as much as I loved my fiancé, I was too damn tired to do anything but sleep. It took less than fifteen seconds for his smirk to melt into a frown as he stared at my chest looking hurt.

I looked down wondering what on earth had him so upset to see my rings still dangling between my breasts. My heart clenched when I realized why he was upset.

I reached my hand up to cradle his face and force him to make eye contact with me. "Edward, I can't wear it on the floor. You've seen how many times I have to take on and off gloves during my work day. Between the safety risk of the ring tearing my glove and exposing me or my patients, not to mention the risk that at some point the ring might come off with a glove while I'm in an emergency situation or something and accidentally get lost, there's no way I can wear it while on the floor. So instead, I take it off and wear it over my heart, which is the second best location I can think of for it. I know it bothers you, but it's the best I can do."

He sighed and closed his eyes with a small nod.

"You know, if I had any way around it, I would jump on it in heartbeat, but unfortunately, this is how it has to be with my job."

"I know," he sighed with a sad smile as he reached behind my neck to undo the necklace. "I knew you always took off the Claddagh. I should have known you would have to take this one off too, but I just didn't think about it." He slid the two rings off the chain and sat it behind him before sliding both rings onto my hands, kissing my engagement ring reverently.

"Come on...let's go lay down and get some rest."

I looked over at him with surprise. "You're laying down with me? Don't you have PT and stuff to do?"

He smirked down at me, kissing my forehead. "Nope, got it all done this morning so I could spend as much time with my future wife as I could, even if we're both passed out."

He led me to the bedroom where he reached into my pajama drawer, pulling out a warm flannel set and handing them to me. He slid into a set of his own before guiding me to the bed.

He disappeared and came back a few minutes later with sandwiches and soup which he must have had Melissa whip up for us while we were changing. We sat and ate in bed together.

Once we were done, he tucked me in and disappeared with the tray before returning to cuddle up behind me. I snuggled into his neck and sighed before passing out cold.

And so went my week. The last day, I was finally allowed a night in the peds ICU. Then I was to return to my regular floor to perform morning rounds with the pediatric Residents and their attending.

As much awe and respect I had for the nurses after working the peds floor overnight was magnified tenfold after seeing the ICU nurses at work. These ladies were hot shit! They worked efficiently on their critical patients taking care of all of the tasks that are necessary. In the ICU, where the patients are mostly unconscious, all labs are drawn in the early hours of the morning, not to mention nebulizer treatments, turning patients, and dealing with emergencies which seemed to arise often.

Thankfully, my sanity was preserved by the fact that none of the emergencies involved Charlotte. Matter of fact, Charlotte seemed to be improving exponentially. If her tests kept improving at the rate that they already were, the doctors were discussing weaning her off the vent and potentially rousing and extubating her early next week.

I closed my eyes and sent up a silent thanks to all who were listening who had watched over Charlotte as I prayed that the improvements continued.

My first set of rounds with the pediatric Residents was more than a little intimidating. Most of them looked on me with skeptical eyes. Thankfully, the attending I was assigned to was none other than Eleazar, who greeted me cheerfully and was sure to include me in discussion. Since they were rounding on my kids, I had a lot to say, which made Eleazar quite pleased and a couple of the Residents more than a little pissed off.

It bothered me for a little while before I decided to take an 'Oh screw 'em' attitude. I was just coming off a week of graveyards and wasn't about to let them look down on me or upset me. Our last patient of the day was Katie, who seemed to be a little worse for wear today in my opinion. She smiled and greeted me in our usual cheerful way, making the couple of jealous Residents glare at me reproachfully, but even then, she wasn't quite as bright as usual.

After we finished in her room, I pulled Eleazar aside and brought up my concerns. I explained that I didn't want to bring it up in front of her, but I was worried that something wasn't quite right. He promised to look into her latest lab results and asked me to go in and check in with her.

I walked back into the room with her. She smiled at me, but appeared confused as I crossed back to her side. I went to the computer station to check her latest vitals and labs and everything appeared fine. Temp was normal, BP was good, she was even eating and drinking very well according to the nurse's notations, so I walked back over to her bedside and settled in.

"Everything okay, Katie? You don't seem quite yourself."

Her brow furrowed and her politely smiling face slowly crumbled into one of sorrow as she began to sob. "It's nothing, Dr Swan, could I please have some privacy?"

I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure, Katie? I just want to make sure everything is okay. If you're feeling bad at all, you need to let us know in case something bigger is going on."

She shook her head and chuckled darkly. "No, I'm fine, Just NORMAL teenage stuff for once."

I sighed and nodded, "Well, okay then. If you need anything, or just someone to talk to, then let me know."

I got up and made my way over the doorway. I had just twisted the knob when I heard her call my name behind me. I turned to see her looking over at me with pleading eyes. I closed the door and walked back to her as she tucked herself into a ball, resting her cheek on her knees.

"It's just Garrett and I had a really big fight. He's really understanding most of the time, but well...God I feel so weird talking about this...he, uh, we have been talking about taking the step to start having sex."

I felt my face grow pale and my eyes widen...holy crap...so not the problem I was expecting to be dealing with. What the hell do I say to the girl?

"Well, before I got admitted this time, we had it all planned out. We were going to do it the night of the homecoming dance. Both of our parents thought we were going to be staying at friends houses, but actually we were sneaking out of town to his father's hunting lodge to be together. The thing is, we never made it because I was admitted. Then, since I've been here, I've been rethinking things again. I'm just not sure I'm ready."

I reached over and squeezed her hand gently between us in commiseration.

"I talked to Garrett about it and he got really mad and hurt. I know he loves me and everything, but it hurt to think that he wouldn't be more understanding. Sort of like maybe he doesn't love me enough. Now I'm wondering if I'm wrong and I should just do it and get it over with!"

I sighed and clenched my eyes shut tightly before I squeezed her hand again. "I've been where you are...well sort of. I didn't have the health issues you fight and struggle with, but when I was in high school, I had a boyfriend that I thought loved me too. We had big plans for after the prom...well by 'we' I mean he. Anyway, I told him I wasn't ready and refused. He got really mad and yelled and screamed and broke up with me...and then my brother and his friends, which happens to include my fiancé," I added with a wink, "beat him up later that night and broke his arm."

She looked at me with a terrified expression.

I laughed. "I don't regret saying no, though. It's your right to say you aren't ready. You have to go with your instincts and don't let your need to please someone else, or just wanting to get it over with, take away something that is so precious and can only be given away once. And you know what else? I ran into that guy just a couple of months ago and he apologized to me. He told me that what he did was horrible and he always felt guilty for how he treated me and trying to guilt me and force me into having sex with him."

She smiled at me and I winked. "Now, I know Garrett is no Jacob, he's been really good to you. I see how he looks at you and stays with you and treats you. He seems like a really good guy. The truth of the matter is, sweetheart, he is still a guy. Sometimes their little head tends to yell louder than the big one. Give him some time to deal with it. I'm sure you guys will be able to talk it out. I can tell he loves you. Just have faith in that."

She sighed and hugged herself closer, "But...but what if he goes and finds someone else to take care of his little head while I'm struggling with this whole situation?"

I sighed again roughly, shooting her an apologetic expression, "Then you deserve better than him if he's not willing to wait for you. You know how I was telling you about my fiancé? Before we got together, he was a real player, like big time king of the players, but when we started dating he waited for me to be ready. I hadn't been with anybody for a really long time and I was scared because I had watched him with women for the past seven years and was afraid I would get the same treatment. Now, if a guy with his reputation can wait, then I have no doubt that Garrett is capable of waiting too. Just explain to him how you feel and where you are coming from. Once he lets some of the testosterone settles out of his system, I'm sure he'll be more receptive to reason than you might think."

She giggled and nodded before thanking me.

I left the room to go find Eleazar and tell him that her issues were personal, not medical, and apologize for rousing the alarm for no reason. I turned the corner to see him discussing, rather heatedly, with one of the snarky residents we had just been on rounds with.

"She has no business being up here. I find it laughable that we all pay the same tuition and yet she gets preferential treatment just because she's buffing Cullen's son's wiener every night."

"Heidi, I suggest you take a step back and regain your professionalism. It is not your place to question the decisions of the administrators of this hospital or of the medical school. She is highly capable and ready to be working on this floor. You were in that room during rounding; she kept up with all of you and exceeded most."

"Because she spends all day with these kids...we have at least three times the patients she has! It's impossible to carry on that kind of relationship with all of our patients. It's easy when you just have a small subsection to deal with."

"Heidi, have you ever done rounds with my wife?"

She shook her head no.

"My wife is in charge of at least twice as many patients as you are, and she carries on a similar bedside manner with each and every one of them. It is not impossible. I'm pretty sure that Bella would show that same level of dedication no matter how many patients she had to work with. You are a Resident, it is not your place to choose who works where. I can guarantee you that if you repeatedly question the actions of those above you who decide your fate, you will find that getting a permanent placement after you complete your residency will be more difficult than maybe it could have been. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go check on a patient's chart. I suggest you go to the pits with the rest of your colleagues for the rest of the afternoon."

Heidi huffed and turned to stomp off, ramming into me as she turned the corner. She sneered at me as she mumbled, 'watch where you're going, intern' and disappeared down the hallway.

I rounded the corner to see Eleazar rubbing his head as though he were willing away a headache. I instantly felt bad. I jogged up to him just before he turned to walk into the doctor's lounge.

"Just a second please, Eleazar."

He looked up and smiled.

"I'm sorry about earlier. Um...I talked to Katie and her problems were personal, not medical. I'm sorry to have concerned you without reason."

He shook his head, "Not at all, Bella, it's being attentive to such things that allow us to catch potentially fatal situations early. Sometimes they are due to normal causes, but it's important to always be on the offensive and never assume. I'll still take a look at her lab results just to be sure. Thank you, Bella, for letting me know though."

I nodded and smiled.

"You must be exhausted after your night in the ICU, go get home to your fiancé and get some rest. I assume the two of you plan to go out to celebrate tonight."

"Tonight?" I looked bewildered, my whole internal clock spun off kilter by my crazy nights.

He chuckled, "Yes, Bella, tonight...New Year's Eve. Now you are far too young to not partake in New Year's Eve. Go home, rest, and get out to have some fun tonight, Bella. You deserve it."

I gasped at the news, feeling horrible for not planning ahead at all for the holiday. Finally, I nodded and rushed out to head home.

I arrived to a mostly empty apartment...Melissa being the only one home. I spoke with her briefly while inhaling the lunch she had ready for me before showering and passing out in bed. Before I went under, I wrote a quick text to Edward, asking about plans for the night. He told me to just rest and relax, we were going out with the gang and everything was taken care of.

I sighed, knowing before he even said anything...Alice. I chuckled and threw the pillow over my head to block the rest of the light in the room.

The next thing I knew, I could smell Edward all around me as I felt his nose running up and down my neck and his hand grazing along my side and stomach, being sure to tease my chest with every pass.

"My beautiful Bella, it's time to wake up. We have to get ready for tonight." He accentuated his last word by pulling my earlobe into his mouth and nibbling gently, earning a moan from me. I felt his lips curl against my ear and neck.

"Come on, up and in the shower. Alice will be here in half an hour and you need to be fed and clean before she gets hold of you.'

I groaned as he grabbed the blankets and pillow off of me, pulling my limp arms up.

"I don't wanna! Can't we just stay in, make love all night, and watch the fireworks out of the living room windows when they shoot them out over the lake? I wouldn't mind doing something like that at all...just please don't subject me to Alice!"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No can do love of my life, our friends and family are getting upset that we have been neglecting them. Now that I'm feeling so much better and can get around again, they are hijacking us for the evening."

I moaned again and let him help me raise up to sit as I wrapped my arms around his neck and fell limply against his chest. Before long, he finally managed to get me to my feet, leading me to the bathroom and into the shower. He helped me sit on the seat in the corner, stripping my clothes off, and turning on the water, leaving me to sit in the streams alone.

"Aren't you at least going to join me?" I shouted over the spray as he closed the shower door and turned toward the doorway of the bathroom.

He laughed loudly. "We haven't even gotten around to having shower sex yet, Bella. Our first time will definitely not be on a night with such time constraints. We'll be spending a very long time in there when that day comes."

"Hey, I didn't say anything about sex, Mr. Overconfident!"

He laughed again, "You're not manipulating me that easily Isabella Marie Cullen!"

His laughter stopped immediately.

I jumped up off the seat and opened the door to stare out at him. He was looking a bit shell shocked as I stared at him with mouth agape.

"Cullen?"

He looked sheepishly at me before looking up again. "I wanted to talk to you about it later when we could have a longer conversation," he said crossing the floor toward me. "The name talk and the whole joking about changing both of our names made me start thinking about my parents and the fact that I resisted letting them adopt me and changing my name when I was younger. When we brought up the subject, it just sort of seemed like a good time. I talked to them earlier today...that's where I was when you got home. They were both so excited. My Mom cried."

I smiled at him brightly and he smiled back. "So what do you think? Would you like to be Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen?"

"I think I would love to be Dr. Isabella Cullen."

He smirked at me, crossing the floor in three steps. He pulled me to his chest, kissing me so deeply I felt like I was dying. The front of him was completely soaked from my wet body as we became totally lost in our kisses.

Finally, he broke away gasping for breath and rested his forehead to mine. "I love you so much, my future Dr. Cullen."

"I love you too, my future Mr. Cullen. Now, you better get going or we're both going to miss tonight. If you wait here ten more seconds, I'm going to pull you in here with me, clothes be damned, and we won't be leaving for several hours."

I ground myself against him to emphasize my point earning a moan. He mumbled something about me being a vixen under his breath before he finally let go and backed away from me through the doorway that led to our bedroom.

I chuckled and closed the shower door again to finish my shower in peace. When I stepped out, I was rushed to the kitchen to scarf down my supper by an annoyed Alice who was bellowing about throwing off the schedule and ruining everyone's night. The second I took my last bite, she was pulling me toward our bedroom before I could even swallow the masticated food in my mouth.

Then the torture began as she tweezed and tugged, curled and twisted. She painted me with layers of foundation and blush, eye shadow and lipstick, before attacking my finger and toe nails with a pearlescent polish.

About two hours, and a lot of pain later, I found myself standing in front of the mirror with my hair floating down around my face and shoulders in smooth silky waves. My eyes had a smoky dramatic flair and my lips were a deep burgundy like color. An Emerald colored dress with a low gathered halter type neckline revealing ample amounts of cleavage with a strip of rhinestones below the bust and then a short flowing skirt that stopped just above my knees draped my frame nicely. To round out the ensemble, I was forced into a pair of matching open toed heels. Alice slid my mother's silver heart necklace around my neck with a smile.

In spite of the fact that I looked far dressier than I ever have before, I felt amazing. I found myself extremely excited to be out on the arm of my fiancé. We were the future Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, and the way I looked tonight I actually felt like I fit the role perfectly.

Once she was finished and layered my hair with enough hairspray to withstand gale force winds, we emerged from the bedroom to find that everyone else in the living room waiting for us. Rosalie looked amazing, as always, even with the tiny, barely there baby bump beginning to protrude from between her hipbones. Emmett stood behind her with his hands around her waist, the tips of his fingers splayed protectively over his wife's womb. My eyes quickly scanned the room taking in Andy and Andrea, Jacob and Melissa, Jasper to whom Alice had already gravitated and was perched on his lap in the armchair, but no Edward.

I was about to open my mouth to ask where he was when I heard his voice echoing from the kitchen a split second before he appeared in the living room with a beer in his hand. He froze mid step and blinked at me with owl eyes before a slow smile crept across his features. He quickly stalked the five feet between us to wrap me in his arms and nuzzle my neck, whispering how absolutely fucking hot his fiancée is and how he can't wait to show me off tonight.

We all gathered our jackets and things, making our way to the elevators. I realized I was still completely out of the loop for our plans for the night and it was already after nine.

"Where are we going, guys?"

They all smirked at one another and stayed silent, earning a growl from my chest, to which Emmett just laughed.

"Awe, she's turning into baby bear again! She used to growl like that when she was a baby. We all called her baby bear because she sounded like a baby grizzly!"

Everyone laughed.

I blushed as Edward pulled me back against his chest and began to bury his nose in my hair a moment before locating my ear. He nibbled it while whispering in my ear. "Hmmm...grizzly bear...I think they misnamed you. my love. They should have called you a wildcat...that's certainly more of the noises I've experienced. Did you realize you tend to purr a little bit...especially when I drink your juices."

I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as I suppressed a moan, trying not to confirm to the rest of the passengers in the elevator that Edward was whispering exactly the sorts of things that they suspected.

I waved to George as we passed by. He winked at me with a wide smile as we passed through the doorway and climbed into the huge Hummer/limo like the one we used the last time we all got to go out for a big group outing before Minnesota. I found myself wondering what fancy to do we were going to with the fancy clothes and all the effort. I began to laugh hysterically when we pulled in front of Dooley's, our annual New Year's hang out since I was old enough to join the festivities.

We walked in to find ourselves in a crowd of fancy dresses and suits. I was surprised since Dooley's is typically a casual New Year event. We scrambled to the bar. Mama D rushed over and hugged Edward and I so hard, I feared our necks might snap.

"Edward, Bella! I'm so sorry I never made it over to see you when you could have visitors. Every time I tried in the ICU, they wouldn't allow me, and then when you got into a regular room, I was too busy with this place. It's been amazing!"

"Things have been that good?" I gasped.

She threw her head back and cackled.

"Bella, your Rock Band night idea has made this place a hotspot! We've been packing them out every night of the week. We have over twenty bands signed up for the competition, which we pushed back to February. Everyone keeps asking when the Femmes and the Knights are coming back.

"The Knights?"

She smiled brightly, pinching Edward's cheek, "They're calling you boys the Kevlar Knights because of the Swat vests, and of course, you girls are going by the Femme Docs. It was all Alice's idea."

We laughed. I reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear as Mama squealed and about ripped my arm off, yanking my ring closer to have a look.

"He did it for real...Edward Masen is officially off the market forever? Half the bar's hearts are going to break tonight! Of course, the other half's will break now that our Bella is soon to be a married woman! When did this happen?"

"Christmas," I sighed, looking back at Edward as he beamed down at me.

"Alice! That little shit! She didn't tell me a thing about it! She must have been letting the two of you surprise me! Well get your asses over here! The newly betrothed, practically grandchildren of mine, always get drinks on the house on special occasions!"

She poured us both double shots of Rum before scooting a Heineken at Edward and mixing me a Long Island Iced Tea. "I've gotta get back to work you two, but drinks are on me all night."

"You don't have to do that, Mama," I protested loudly.

She just waved me off with a 'pish, posh.'

Edward and I pushed our way through the crowd to the 'reserved' table to the left of the stage where the rest of our party had landed. Leave it to Alice to ensure we have a table tonight. Everyone was squeezed around the table and there was really only enough space left for one chair to fit up to the table. Edward must have noticed this the same time I did. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to him as he slid into the chair, perching me gracefully across his lap. He wrapped his arms around me with a big goofy smile before kissing me.

"I prefer to sit like this anyway," he stage whispered into my ear as he shot a smug look across the table at Emmett. Even though we were living together and engaged, he still has a hard time seeing us overly touchy feely. _Too bad big brother, because there was nothing that was going to keep me from hanging all over my man tonight!_

The DJ broke in through the music to make an announcement. We all looked over to see a mischievously grinning Mama D standing behind the booth. staring intently at our table.

"Attention Ladies and Gentlemen! The owner of the establishment wishes to send out a very special congratulations to the lead singer of the Femme Docs, Bella Swan, and the lead singer of the Kevlar Knights, Edward Masen. It seems that these two rockers got engaged during Christmas and are celebrating their upcoming wedding tonight. So in honor of the bride and groom to be, Mama D has requested a special song for the kids to dance to up on stage. Edward, Bella...we're waiting on you two. Get your crazy asses up here!"

I could feel the heat emanating off of my body as the bloom of my blush must have been akin to the hue of a tomato. I could feel Edward laughing underneath me and whispering that we better hurry, but I was frozen in mortification. Before I realized what was happening, Edward solved the problem by yanking my hand as he stood and pulling me toward the stage.

We walked up to Mama as she reached out to pat our shoulders. Edward and I looked out at the audience, seeing a strange combination of glazed looking eyes that found the situation romantic and furious eyes eviscerating me simply through their gazes.

I swallowed hard and tried to remember to breathe.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and spun me to look at him. He looked down at me, smiling, and it took less than ten seconds for the whole room of observers to blur and disappear.

Suddenly, it was just Edward and I together as he leaned his head down to rest it against mine. He whispered, "I love you, soon to be Bella Cullen."

My arms wrapped up around his neck and nestled in his hair as his arms wrapped around my waist. He pulled me close and we just stood there and stared.

The guitar riffs of the eighties power ballad filled the air and we both smiled, not at all surprised at Mama D's choice, as Steelheart's _I'll Never Let You Go_filled the air. We began to sway as the first line started talking about Angel Eyes. We simply got lost in one another's eyes and smiled before we slowly slid closer. We kissed passionately, only to be reminded of our crowd of observers thanks to the cat calls and whoops that filled the air, combating with the music.

I instinctively started to pull away in embarrassment, but Edward pulled me closer, deepening the kiss, quickly making the sounds fade again. He finally broke free once we reached the chorus. We both started singing to one another at the same time.

_I'll never let you go, you're always on my mind_

_You're the only one for me, you're all I need_

_And I'll never, never let you go_

The rest of the song blurred by, as we held one another close, kissing and listening to the verses, feeling them in our bones. Boy, Mama D picked some damn good music! Every once in a while, we would sing along when the chorus would repeat between sweet kisses and whispered vows.

When the song concluded, we were pulled out of our bubble of two again to see the room going crazy. Even the eviscerating stares had morphed into quiet resignation. I knew exactly what Mama was doing...she was saving me a lot of trouble by showing the whole crowd in a single moment not to bother because the pair of us were off the market for good.

I felt Edward pull me to his side, nuzzling his nose into my hair to whisper in my ear, "Mama D is the world's most efficient flyswatter, huh?"

I nodded as I busted out laughing. I turned to face him again, stretching onto my toes and pulling him down to me again by his hair. I kissed him fiercely as the music morphed into some kind of steady beat that I soon recognize as a Lady Gaga song.

After a few minutes of kissing and just being lost in each other in a crowd of roiling bodies, we finally broke free, returning to our table to see all of our friends lost in their own couplehood. They all look up and exclaim how sweet or in the case of poor Edward, how pussy whipped we were, earning each of the boys a smack to the back of the head by their girls.

Edward and I just laughed. We settled back into our chair, slamming drink after drink. After the alcohol started taking it's effect more completely, we began making out like two horny high schoolers, much to my very sober brother's chagrin.

Rosalie, being just shy of four months pregnant, could of course no longer drink, which meant my poor brother had to suffer right along with her. The amazing part was that he was the one to offer, in his attempt to make up for her suffering morning sickness. It sounded good two months ago, but sitting here sober on New Year's Eve while everyone else, including his lightweight baby sister, was totally snockered and enjoying themselves was making him regret the decision.

"Oh brother bear, stop moping and go dance with your wife, ya fucking dumbass!" I finally bellowed over the music because double shots of Rum and Long Island Iced teas had definitely once more stripped the filter.

The whole table cracked up.

I turned my inebriated self to my fiancé. "Don't you laugh, jackass. With the exception of Mama D's little antics, you have yet to fucking ask me to get my groove on with you either. I've been sitting here like a fucking moron, waiting. Wait! Why the hell do I think you have to ask me? Screw this! Come on love slave; come grind your cock into my ass!"

I stood up, surprisingly gracefully considering Bella plus alcohol typically meant the possibility of tripping while sitting absolutely still, much less in motion. I grabbed Edward's green tie that matched my dress and tugged him up with me. I laughed when I saw he was gaping at me open mouthed and yet in his eyes was deep dark desire.

He followed me like a puppy as I dragged him out by his tie to the middle of the dance floor, spun around, and slammed my back into his chest. I grabbed his arms, wrapping them around my waist, while grinding myself back on him for all I was worth. He moaned and soon I felt that I was no longer leading because he took over the rhythm, squeezing my hips to the beat of _SOS_ by Rhianna.

I heard him in my ear as we practically created a vacuum between us, There was absolutely no air between us, just skin, cloth and more skin. His voice was husky and raw as he nibbled my earlobe and spoke slowly and enticingly.

"Isabella Cullen, you are so hot when you take charge like that. Do you even know what it does to me?" He bucked his hips into me to prove his point. "I asked Andy to sneak me a pair of handcuffs home, you know. They're in my underwear drawer. If you would maybe feel like using them tonight, I'll even volunteer to be the one in the cuffs."

I moaned loudly, not even caring if anyone around us was paying attention as I felt the teeny tiny underwear Alice made me wear grow damp. His hand smoothed around my body until the thumb of his right hand rubbed dangerously close to my boob while his other hand drifted down to rub my thigh.

Between the booze and the hormones, we really had lost our minds completely, which was obvious when my brother came barreling toward us with Jasper tugging on one arm and Rose on the other. By the time he got to us, the murderous gaze had dimmed to simple embarrassed anger.

"Okay, I know you two live together and shit and that you...are...intimate. I know you're engaged and all that shit, but holy fuck, you two! Rose and I are married and you don't see us practically fucking in the middle of the dance floor. You two need to chill out or I'm going to end up murdering both of you and the three dozen fucks getting hard watching you two put on a live sex show in the middle of Mama D's bar. Please, for the love of all that is holy, take a damn break already. Bells, please go to the bathroom with the girls and cool off, and Eddie, go jack it in the bathroom or something. Please, just give it a rest!"

I watched with wide eyes as my brother practically exploded in the middle of everything, gathering a large crowd of gawkers. I blushed puce, knowing that I needed the bathroom and fast.

Rose and Alice rushed behind me as Andrea followed shortly after. I barely made it into a stall before everything in my system came back up to revisit me. The plus side...long island iced teas don't taste quite as disgusting coming back up as other drinks do.

Alice led me to the sink and helped me wash my face and try to straighten back out the mess I had created of her masterpiece while Rose dashed out to get me a glass of water.

"Was Emmett just overreacting, or were we really that bad, Alice?"

She sighed and grabbed a brush out of her purse, combing through my hair and reminding me entirely too much of my mother in that moment.

"Emmett took it a little overboard, but you guys were getting pretty intense out there. It wasn't THAT bad, but you guys were definitely cutting loose with the sexual innuendo. It was drawing a bit of attention, but hell, the two of you bottled it all up so long and then went through that whole month of not being able to do anything after Edward was shot, it's a wonder you guys aren't like that 24/7!"

I buried my face in my hands and moaned in embarrassment just as Rose burst back into the room with a plastic cup of ice water and holding two Tylenol. I accept them wishing they had a Xanax chaser and give them both hugs thanking them for taking care of me. No, I would never really do that. It was very dangerous thing to even tease about, but I just really needed something to cut some of the tension I suddenly felt.

Fifteen minutes later, I emerged after brushing my teeth with Alice's emergency toiletry kit, feeling a bit more inhibited than I had before the embarrassing brawl and my upchuck episode.

I wasn't even completely through the doorway when I realized Edward was leaning against the wall by the door, looking completely abashed. When he realized it was me, he furrowed his brow and rushed to my side, wrapping me in his arms and asking if I was alright. I nodded and held him close. He started apologizing profusely as we made our way back to the table. I told him apologies weren't necessary, but he wouldn't accept that answer.

After about ten uncomfortable minutes, the group started to loosen up again. We still weren't back to good though until Black Eyed Peas _Pump It_boomed through the speakers. Without a single word, we were all on the floor dancing as a group. This was one of those rare songs that we all agreed on. Usually at least one in the group wouldn't like a song for some reason or other, but this one we all just seemed to enjoy...or maybe it was just due to the really cool music video.

We danced in a cluster with the girls in the middle and our guys on the outside, keeping any unwanted grinders at bay. We went nuts jumping and yelling and shaking our asses off. It was fantastic and exactly what we needed.

The song then morphed into Buttons by the Pussycat Dolls. When Snoop began rapping, all of us girls facing toward the center exchanged a knowing look and spun toward our boys, leaning against one another as a group for leverage as we sang to our own guys. At that point, my brother wasn't paying shit to what Edward and I were up to because he was too busy being mesmerized by Rose.

My hands slid up my body and into my hair as I rocked against the girls behind me with my eyes locked on Edward's dark and dangerous gaze. He looked like he was on the verge of throwing me over his shoulder and taking me home. I had to admit, a big part of me wanted him to just do it.

Then Snoop began rapping again and we turned back to the center, whispering plans while we shimmied our asses at our boys, making them all drool. Plans were in place, so we turned back and slowly walked forward to each of our boys. We pushed them back through the crowd so that we were each in one of the four corners of the floor and couldn't see each other if we tried, taking advantage of being able to enjoy our time with our boys without having to stave off another Emmett meltdown.

Then the DJ started making me wonder if he had a multiple personality disorder or if he just liked manipulating the hormones on the floor, because the song faded and then turned into Nickelback _Something In Your Mouth. _ I was so damn glad we separated the boys and made sure we were all out of each other's sight, because Edward totally lost it as he grabbed my ass and pulled me hard against him. He kissed me so hard that our teeth clanked and his tongue was on the verge of triggering my gag reflex.

He massaged my ass for a while before finally drifting up to my hips only to jam his leg between mine and started rubbing me against his leg in ways that were making my eyes pop out of my head. He rubbed his granite self against my hip. If we weren't in a room full of other people, I would have had absolutely no problems with this whatsoever. Even with the room full of people, he had me so close to falling over the edge, I was only barely registering my discomfort.

He moved his position slightly and suddenly I was gone. In the middle of a room full of hundreds of bodies, swaying to the raunchy words Chad Kroeger rasping through the air, I found myself shaking and moaning into Edward's chest. I felt him groan and freeze with his eyes closed.

Slowly, he finally opened them. I started to laugh when he yelled to me over the song, "What in the hell did Mama D spike our drinks with anyway? Holy Fuck, Bella!"

He moved away looking disgustedly at the front of his dress pants. He took my hand, pulling us toward the restrooms. I cackled at the fact that he was walking kind of funny thanks to the spunk in his pants, not to mention the nice big wet spot on his thigh from where he was grinding me on him. There was no way he'd ever be able to clean that off.

I watched, still laughing and shaking my head, as he disappeared into the bathroom. I followed his example shortly after, sliding into a stall in the ladies room to pee and do my best to clean myself up. Shortly after I entered the stall, I heard the other toilets flush. Two incredibly drunk women exited the stalls and met at the sink, yelling at each other, even though the bathrooms provided enough of a sound barrier that it really wasn't necessary.

I suppressed a chuckle, but my amusement quickly turned to ire as I heard them start in.

"Please, Edward Masen is not the marrying kind. It won't last. He'll be fucking around on her within a year."

"Tell me about it...once a player always a player and holy hell, can that man play!"

"I wonder if she's knocked up or something. I mean she's his best friend's little sister, if he knocked her up, then he'd have to marry her or the bear would totally kill him. That has to be what's going on."

"Or maybe she's blackmailing him...that has to be it! I mean Masen would never settle for a plain Jane like her otherwise. She must have some big dirt on him."

"I bet you fifty bucks I can get him to kiss me tonight, even though his precious fiancée is here."

"A hundred says I beat you!"

Sick of hearing the drunken sluts theorize and plot to try to kiss my fiancé, I finally decided it was time to step out of the stall. I walked up between them to use the empty sink with the wide smile of a very satisfied, freshly dry fucked girl. I washed my hands quietly, drying them on the towels, before heading for the door. I turned when I had the handle in my hand.

"For the record ladies, the man was only a player because when he first met me, I was jailbait. He's been in love with me for years and just used skanks like you to tide him over until he finally got what he really wanted all along. Oh, and if either one of you bitches try to stick your nasty ass tongues down my fiancé's throat, I will kick your asses and then cut off your tongues and shove them where the sun don't shine. Comprende?"

They both watched, wide eyed, as they swayed a bit in front of their sinks. I smiled brightly and opened the door to walk straight into the chest of a smirking, cocky Edward.

"Good job, baby. I love that you are so fucking violent when it comes to the barflies!"

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist as he bent down to kiss me. The door opened behind me, but the skanks were stuck since we were still blocking the doorway while we made out. Edward smiled against my lips and reached down to grab my ass, pulling me roughly to him, grinding himself into me.

"Wanna go for round two? I could always go request _Animals_."

I smacked his chest and laughed. He smiled at me before looking over my shoulder at the ladies waiting to be let out.

"Oh, sorry ladies, I get so wrapped up in my fuck hot fiancée that I lose my manners. Please, let us go hump against the wall over there so you can actually escape the bathroom."

With that, he grabbed me by the wrist and spun me against the far wall, pinning me and grinding against me, while he kissed me hard. My hands danced up his arms to his hair. When we broke free, we were both panting.

"I don't know what Mama put in those drinks, but I'm going to have to ask her for the prescription. You are hot as hell like this!"

He smirked and grabbed my hand, pulling me back out to the dance floor where we found the group had re-congregated, all having that same satisfied expression we had. Perhaps it wasn't the drinks, but rather just the power of Pussycat Dolls and Nickelback.

We danced the rest of the night away, toasting the New Year together as always. For the first time ever, I actually had someone to kiss at midnight. Edward held me in his arms as we stood forehead to forehead during the countdown. We counted to each other, gazing lovingly into each other's slightly glassy, inebriated eyes. I might have been tipsy, but I knew I would always remember that moment as we counted together.

When everyone else yelled Happy New Year, Edward leaned down and captured my lips with his in the sweetest kiss I could ever imagine. It was full of love, hope, and faith in our future. When we broke free, he whispered "Happy New Year." I smiled and said it back quietly. For the first time in a very long time, I believed that it might just be a HAPPY new year after all.

_**Okay guys, what did you think of this one? I know it was just a wee bit intense, but it was fun to write. I was such a goody two shoes when I was younger; I swear I'm sowing all the wild oats I never got to through my stories. I never would have done something like that in public at least, but I have fun living vicariously through Bella!**_


	43. Outside The Bubble

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

_**This one is quite short (by FDKK standards anyway). Bella and Edward may be healing in their own world, but that doesn't mean that the world isn't spinning without them. This is two points of view that show us some of the things we are missing out on that Edward and Bella are blissfully unaware of. One of the POV's is a new one we haven't seen before. Hope you enjoy.**_

**Outside The Bubble**

**EmPOV**

I watched my sister sadly as she held tightly to my best friend, who was now going to be her husband. There was so much to tell them and yet there never seemed to be the right time. While Edward was in the hospital, we all worked to shield them from the stresses of the outside world. Carlisle and the hospital were catching shit for there not being any security to keep a gunman with a bag of C4 from waltzing in and taking hostages, the team was catching shit because a civilian ended up nailing the perp before we did, the chief was pissed off because we took advantage of his not being around in order to be part of the entry team and put us all under probation, and due to his extended recovery time, it looked like Edward was going to be replaced and put back on the beat or offered the chance to advance to detective when he finally returned to work. None of these things would sit well with either one of them, so we all kept it quiet.

Then Edward was released about the same time that we find out that Dr. Mob Boss Sellers was suspected to be back in the states. From what we got from the Feds, they didn't seem to think that the plot to kill Bella was ever constructed by Sellers, but was instead some twisted way for Trager to prove himself to the new boss. I felt a little better knowing that, but it still didn't sit well with me that he was back on US soil.

Edward was finally starting to seem like he was getting back to himself, so I had made up my mind that I was going to lay it all out on the line for him the day he invited me over to hang out a week or so before Christmas. Bella was at work, so I knew I would have some time to calm Edward the fuck back down after he flipped out. I decided that day was as good as any.

I was let in by the maid who was smiling like the cat that ate the fucking canary. I smiled and asked how she was. She just smiled wider before telling me that Edward was in the living room.

I thanked her and made my way into the room where Edward was sitting in front of the TV, not even paying attention to the opening cinematics of his game that were playing over and over on the screen in front of him. He sat nervously, bouncing his knee and rubbing his hands up and down his legs. Occasionally he would reach up to tug on his hair and mumble under his breath. I started to rethink telling him about the things I wanted to discuss with him because he was already wound up.

"Hey dude," I bellowed causing him to jump on the couch and turn to me, looking anxious as hell. I mean, shit, was he so stressed he didn't even hear the fucking doorbell when I rang it and the maid answered?

"Hey Em," he smiled up at me, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "How you doing, man?"

I plopped down on the seat next to him, rubbing my hands over my face. "Been pretty busy, man...there's a lot going on."

He nodded in a strange daze, only half hearing what I was saying. He was actually starting to worry me. He shifted toward me and opened his mouth to say something, but then his face clouded. His forehead crinkled and he deflected from what he was about to say.

"How's Rosalie feeling? Are things going okay with the pregnancy?"

I smiled, "She's good, man. Thank fuck she's finally over the damn morning sickness. Trust me, when Mama's puking her guts out constantly and is always unhappy, ain't nobody happy. Since she's been able to actually eat without it coming back up to haunt her right after, things have been a whole hell of a lot better. We actually have our next sonogram in four weeks, and then we might find out if it's a boy or a girl. Doc says not to count on it though, a lot of times the little fuckers roll over and won't let you see what they're packing down below."

He smiled, actually seeming to absorb what I was saying this time, and laughed. "Man, I hope for your sake you have a boy, because I can't even imagine how fast you're going to lose your hair when any daughter of yours hits her teen years. Fuck, you'll be camped out on by the front door with a shot gun to chase away any guys who dare move in on your little princess."

"Your mouth to God's ear, Edward. I swear, man, I already paid my dues with Bella. I think my hairline is a good inch and a half further back than it should be thanks to how much I stressed over her. I deserve a break man!"

Edward chuckled darkly, his hands immediately running through his hair, scratching at his scalp. It suddenly hit me why he's so nervous. Holy Hell! They've only been together a couple of months, and a whole fucking lot of that time he was either in Minnesota training or in the fucking hospital. Talk about rushing shit.

Edward cleared his throat and turned to me again. I swallowed the bitter bile rising in the back of my throat, steeling myself for what was coming next. Edward scooted to the edge of the couch, resting his forearms on his thighs as he leaned forward over them and scrubbed his face.

"Emmett, I need to talk to you about something. Uhm, it's about me and Bella. I know you've seen me be a prick for most of the time that you've known me, but I also know that you've seen how much Bella means to me and how different I am thanks to having her in my life. I know we've only been together officially for a short time, but you also know I've loved her for seven years, even if I didn't really recognize it for everything that it was. I've wasted so much time being a fucking dumbass. I really don't want to waste any more time with her. After all we've been through, it just reminded me of how short life is, how precious every minute is, and damn it Emmett, I don't want to waste one second more of it. I want to ask Bella to marry me. As the only member of her family, and the older brother that she loves more than anybody else on this Earth, I'm asking you to please give me your blessing."

I sat there staring at him with my fucking mouth hanging open like a damn large mouth bass. I wasn't expecting him to be so fucking eloquent about it or make such reasonable arguments about why they shouldn't hold off. I sat for a second thinking about his words when I realized he was totally fucking right. Who the hell was I to judge how quickly they got engaged, my Rosie was already knocked up when I asked her to marry me, and we had only known each other a little over a year. Bella and Edward had been building this relationship of theirs for seven fucking years. They had been through more things before they ever even got together than most people do in their first ten years of marriage. Why the fuck should they wait?

I finally snapped my mouth closed and looked over to see Edward looking damn near nauseous waiting for my answer as I slowly came to my own realizations. I sighed and cupped my hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"Well when you put it that way, man, how the fuck can I say no? I know you love my sister harder than hell, and you'd do anything to make her happy. You've already done so much, and you two are really good for each other. If you promise me that you will take care of her and make her as happy as you possibly can, then I'd be happy to give you my blessing and let you have the fucking honor of becoming my brother in law."

His shoulders slumped in relief. He scrunched up his eyes and let out a long hard breath. "Oh, thank God! I was scared to death you'd tell me to fuck off!"

I laughed and shook my head. "Hell man, you know my sister would have my nads if I refused to give you my blessing anyway. You should have known it was most likely a done deal! So when are you going to pop the big question?"

His smile was so fucking bright I needed some shades to keep from getting a headache. "Christmas at my Mom and Dad's. I'm going to ask her before dinner. I've already started plotting with Mom to have a fire in the living room fireplace and have a little privacy."

"Sounds romantic as shit, dude. She'll love it."

He looked nervous again as he ran his hand through his hair. "I hope so, man. I've never been so fucking nervous in my whole damn life."

I laughed and smacked his back a few times. "You'll survive Masen, trust me. It'll all be worth it in the end...I know my Rosie is."

We settled back and started playing the console as I pushed back the discussion once again for another day. All of the problems would still be there later on. Right now, I just wanted to give the two of them some time to enjoy things for a while before they got all clouded over with the stressful shit. After all they've been through, they deserved a couple more weeks of joy and peacefulness.

**Carlisle POV**

Without a doubt, this has been one of the most stressful and trying years of my life. There had been an abundance of good with the bad, but the bad had definitely hit with more ferocious vigor than I had ever seen before in my fifty three years on this Earth.

I can't begin to express the gratitude I have that my son and my future daughter in law survived that horrible day in my ER. How something like that could occur in my hospital is so completely unfathomable. When did the world turn so dangerous? There was a time when you wouldn't even begin to think that something like this could ever happen, but in this day and age, it seems to happen more and more frequently.

And in the same vein, who would have thought that a time would come that lawsuits would be so easily flung toward any and all establishments and individuals who happen to be involved in a situation like this? The hospital was as innocent as the hostages, and yet we already found ourselves facing seventeen suits on the docket regarding the events of that day. I find myself so thankful for our Bella, because I'm quite sure that if she had not been there and provided the treatment for the patients that she did, the number of lawsuits would be at least double what we currently faced, if not triple.

Ah Bella, our little angel...the girl who woke up our broken, hollow son and brought him back to us in ways that we never could have begun to believe. I never believed I would hear him refer to me as Dad. I knew he felt those feelings for me, but he just couldn't bring himself to admit such feeling to either Esme or myself. Every time I hear him say those three little letters in reference to me, it makes my heart soar, and Esme, I can't even begin to express the joy I see in her eyes every time he calls her Mom.

I've always been proud of Edward and his accomplishments, but I don't know if I have ever been more proud as when I watched him bare his soul to her in front of our fireplace on Christmas morning, asking her to be his bride. Finally, our personal life was coming into focus, all of the pieces falling into place in ways we never dared to hope. If my professional life could settle back down, I would hazard to say that life was about as close to perfect as it could ever get.

I had been carefully concealing the upsets at work from Bella and Edward. With all of the stresses going on in their lives, they definitely didn't need the additional burden. I knew the time was quickly approaching when I needed to tell Edward the full scope of the ripples left in the wake of Trager's actions.

I was lounging at home, reading a book in the study the afternoon of New Year's Eve when an unexpected chime of the doorbell pulled me from my leather reading chair to answer the door. Esme was out running errands, gathering the things she needed for the soiree we planned to attend later that evening. I looked through the peephole surprised to see my son standing on the porch.

I opened the door and invited him in, leading him back to the study with me where I offered him a drink. We settled into the matching brown leather wingback chairs to discuss whatever it was that had brought him over to see me. He looked anxious as he shuffled his feet on the floor and rubbed the tops of his legs roughly with the palms of his hands.

"Dad, I wanted to run something by you. Do you have a little time to talk?"

I shifted my weight toward him to show him he had my complete and undivided attention. "Sure, son, you know I'm always here for you."

He took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair as he started in. "I wanted to ask how you would feel about something. Bella and I have started discussing the wedding and the subject came up about her taking my last name, hyphenating it, or perhaps us both taking each other's last names. It got me thinking about something I had considered before, but dismissed it out of loyalty I held to my father."

I furrowed my brow trying to follow his logic as he swallowed tightly and continued. "I remember you saying once that it was sad because you were the end of your family's descendents bearing the Cullen name. I know for a fact that the Masen name is well taken care of..." He shook his head and closed his eyes before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, causing me to smirk at the traits he was beginning to pick up from Bella.

"I haven't spoken to Bella about this yet because I wanted to discuss it with you first, but if she were willing, how would you feel about us both changing our last names to Cullen when we get married?"

My heart felt like it just burst in my chest, filling my whole body with golden warmth. My vision blurred with unshed tears. What he had just asked for was another thing to add to my growing list of things I never dreamed I would see happen in my lifetime. Joy is the only word I could come up with to describe what I felt in the moment, followed closely by pride and above all else infinite love.

"Oh, Edward," I swallowed as my voice cracked, "that would be the greatest honor I could ever think of. I would be so ecstatic if you decided to take my family's name, son. You have just filled my heart with more joy than I've felt since the day I married your mother."

Edward smiled brightly at me and rose from his chair crossing the small space that separated us. I stood up to meet him as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"Thank you, Dad. I love you and Mom so much. I should have done this years ago. I should have let you adopt me when I was ten, but I had so many things that I tried to hold onto that were really not worth the effort. Wherever my father is now, he knew I loved him. I honestly believe now that he would want me to love you as the father that you truly have been to me. I want this to be a decision that Bella and I make together, but as long as she's willing, I would be honored to carry the Cullen name."

My efforts to suppress my tears failed. I cried as I held my son tightly in my arms. "I love you, son. Thank you for being such a wonderful man and an amazing son. I love you more than I can ever express."

We finally broke free and spent some time chatting casually. I should have brought up the lawsuits, but I honestly didn't want to mar such a perfect day with such dire news, so I waited. There was no reason to rush things. Edward's knowledge would in no way change the fact that the suits exist or their eventual outcome.

I was glad he was able to stay long enough to share the wonderful news with Esme before he had to return to Bella for the festivities of the night. I watched her eyes fill with wonder and then moisten with tears that rolled over her pink cheeks as Edward shared his desire to take our last name and declare us officially as his parents. She beamed up at him, wiping at her eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to clear them of the tears, before hugging him tightly, telling him how proud she was of him.

All too soon, it was time for him to leave to go get his fiancée. We followed him to the door to bid him goodbye. I hugged him tightly one more time before he left, thanking him for the blessings he provided in my life. He moved from my arms to Esme's, hugging her closely and squeezing her tightly to his chest. She once again told him how much she loved him and how proud she was to have him as her son and to be gaining Bella as a daughter.

We stood together in the doorway to wave goodbye as he shuffled out into the freezing Chicago afternoon. My heart expanded in joy as I watched my strong brave son leave. We waved as we watched him pull away and down the street before walking back into the warm house. Esme curled her body to mine and smiled up at me with twinkling eyes. "Our grandchildren will bear your family's name, Carlisle. What a blessing!"

I chuckled and pulled her into my chest, teasing her slightly, "And how are you so sure there will be grandchildren?"

She smiled up at me and tipped up on her toes to kiss my jaw. "Oh, a mother knows these things. He's already daydreaming of them, I can tell. My guess is that Bella's career will probably be the deciding factor in that case, because our son already has the twinkle in his eye."

I rolled my eyes at her and laughed, "You are daydreaming, my dear. I don't see what you do, I guess."

She laughed, patting my stomach gently with a sigh, "You will, my love, but for now it's time to go get dressed for the party tonight. It is black tie; your tux is already hanging in our closet ready for you."

I smiled and nodded in understanding before kissing her forehead. I made my way upstairs to get dressed, daydreaming about little ones running around bearing my last name and calling me Papa as they present me with gifts of dandelions in the park and crafts made of popsicle sticks and finger paints.

_**I know it's really more like an outtake, but I wanted to clue you guys in on some things brewing beneath the surface, that way you won't feel like it's hit you all completely out of left field when it all comes in to play. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for all the awesome reviews! Keep 'em coming! (Please)**_


	44. Enjoying the Dreams & Facing Nightmares

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: As if you even read these, but it's obvious by now I don't own any of the recognizable characters.**

_**Okay so the first half is all fluffy girly stuff that you fellas who read this will be thoroughly bored with, but the girls will probably enjoy, then the last half is more medical drama. A patient we haven't seen in a while makes a reappearance and Bella ends up facing her fears once again. Thanks to Sassenach Wench for her ever present validation beta work and AgoodWITCH for filling in as guest beta and for all of you out there who have added faves and reviews! You guys rock!**_

**Enjoying the Dreams and Facing the Nightmares**

**BPOV**

New Year's Day I was woken up by the incessant ringing of the doorbell accompanied by my cell phone becoming possessed as it vibrated across the top of the dresser on the far side of the room. It buzzed nonstop while singing the ringtone I had chosen for Alice without reprieve. Edward and I both moaned, burying our heads under our pillows trying to block out the pestering pixie.

Finally, the ringing and vibrating stopped as did the doorbell's chimes. We both sighed in relief and began to drift back off when my phone began to bounce along the dresser top again noisily, now emitting a calmer ring tone. I froze for a minute trying to wrap my head around the reason for the change when the realization hit that it was the song I had set to Esme's cell phone number.

I jumped out of bed and flew to the dresser, snatching my phone off, and pressing the green answer button before croaking a hello into the mouthpiece.

I was greeted to the cheerful chuckle of my future mother-in-law with a ranting Alice in the background. After a few seconds, I heard Esme calming Alice before addressing me.

"Good morning, Bella dear. Alice and I have come by to steal you for the day, hoping to coerce you into some early dress shopping. Would it be possible to pull you away from my son for the day?"

I sighed and couldn't help but smile. "You know I'd do anything for you, Esme. Just give me a second to let you two in and then I'll hop in the shower while you ladies visit in the living room."

"Sounds wonderful, darling, we're at your door waiting as we speak."

I hung up the phone and ran to the bathroom door to yank my robe off the hook, sliding it over my body, feeling the backlash of my indulgence in too much high quality alcohol the night before. I dashed back to the door of our bedroom, pausing for a minute to regain my equilibrium when the room began to spin a bit.

"Who was that?" Edward's muffled voice groaned from under his pillow.

"Your Mom and Alice have come to steal me for the day. They're at the door now."

I heard him chuckle. "Better you than me. Good luck, love," he said before turning over on his stomach and tucking his pillow below his head with a smile. A second later, his gentle snoring resumed. Stinking lucky fiancé…boys have it so easy!

I heard the doorbell ring again with agitation, knowing Alice had once again lost her patience. I rushed down the hallway and through the vestibule to open the door to a sweetly smiling Esme and a seething Alice.

"I see how it is. Me, you ignore my dozens of phone calls and the doorbell, but for her, you answer on the fourth ring. Some friend you are!"

I groaned, rubbing my hands roughly over my face. "Mary Alice, you were there last night. You know exactly how much alcohol I consumed thanks to Mama D giving Edward and I free top shelf liquor all night. What on earth made you think I would be anxiously awaiting your call this morning? I'm suffering from the hangover from…" I paused looking over at Esme, blushing before stammering a bit, "uh, hades. Meanwhile, Esme is my future mother-in-law, and she doesn't have a habit of harassing me for shopping trips at all hours of the day and night. So of course I would answer her phone call right away."

Alice scoffed and walked into the kitchen, helping herself to the fridge. Esme wrapped her arm around me, walking with me into the living room. I looked over to see her watching me with concern.

"We were hoping to get in some early wedding dress shopping just to see what's out there for a little girl fun today, but if you're not feeling up to it…"

I shook my head with a smile at my thoughtful future mother-in-law. "I'll be fine, Esme. I just was caught off guard, and well, the Pix tends to get carried away. I've learned to not always come running when she calls. I'm surprised that there would be anywhere for us to look at dresses today though…isn't everything closed up on New Year's Day?"

Esme smiled at me knowingly with a waggle of her eyebrows. "I have a few connections, sweetheart. My best friend from college just so happens to be a designer. When I was speaking with her last week, bragging about your and Edward's engagement, she offered her services. She has a variety of samples for you to try on and get an idea for what you might have in mind. She said that if she has nothing that suits you, she would be happy to design something specifically for you as a wedding gift."

My eyes popped open wide. "Oh my gosh, that's so generous! But we don't even have a date set or anything really planned yet, just a general idea."

She winked at me as she settled onto the couch, crossing her legs, and stretching her arms across the back leisurely. "Bella dear, you and Edward mentioned at Christmas that you already had some ideas. You know what you will feel comfortable with. Maybe the right dress will help you settle the last of your ideas. Why don't you go get cleaned up and we can discuss it more on our way to Antonia's shop?"

I nodded and turned to make my way to the bedroom, only making it three steps before I froze and turned back toward her. "Antonia? As in Antonia LaRouche, famous designer to the stars and good friend of Donatella Versace, Antonia LaRouche?"

Esme raised her eyebrows at me in surprise. I shrugged, "What, I may not be all about the fashion world, but I don't live under a rock!"

Esme laughed heartily, "Yes, the same Antonia LaRouche, but when I knew her, she was a girl from a suburb of Gary Indiana who went by Toni Ryan. LaRouche is her fancy industry name, but to me, she'll always be my friend Toni."

I nodded and smiled. She motioned for me to hurry, so I jogged off to our bedroom to quickly shower and change. I took a few extra minutes to do a little makeup and try to tame my hair a bit before kissing my sleeping fiancé's forehead and shuffling down the hallway to rejoin the girls.

Five minutes later, we were piled into a waiting town car, making our way toward the magnificent mile for some high end designer shopping. When the car stopped, I looked out the window to see one of the fanciest storefronts on Michigan Avenue staring back at me. The driver came and opened the door. I followed Esme and Alice out of the back seat and into the building.

As we entered the building, even the air smelled expensive as it filled the senses with the aroma of fancy fresh cut flowers and expensive perfumes. Instantly, a tall thin lady wearing dangerously high heels and a form fitting sheath dress waltzed into the room from the back with a wide smile and open arms.

"Esme, darling, it's so great to see you again my dear! Now which of these lovely ladies is going to be your new daughter?"

She eyed Alice and I curiously, apparently hoping for the one who wasn't a fashion disaster to be her charge for the day. Esme walked up to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and beaming at me as though she were bursting with pride.

"This, my old friend, is Dr. Isabella Swan, the woman who thoroughly reformed my son's lecherous ways. She has always been like the daughter I never had, and now she finally will be!"

Antonia's eyes grew soft as she watched us together. Instantly her haughty demeanor disappeared as she stepped out of her heels and tossed them aside. She grabbed our hands, leading us toward the back with a smile as she rolled her eyes.

"Okay Es, enough posturing and putting on the Ritz for these poor girls. Time to go pull out the Mike's hard lemonade and get to modeling and figuring out what the girl who was actually good enough to tame Edward Masen really wants for her big day."

I glanced back at Alice who looked at me in surprise as she followed us, looking a wee bit disappointed that one of her idols really was a bit of a regular girl like the rest of us. I couldn't help but chuckle as she had daydreams of sipping Cristal and listening with rapt attention as Antonia regaled her and Esme with stories of wintering on Lake Como at the Versace complex and working the fashion scene in Milan. I was pretty sure that if she hadn't been drawn to medicine, Alice would have taken the fashion world by storm.

Toni, as she quickly told me to call her, led us to a comfortable changing room in the back full of mirrors and lined on three walls with racks. She told us to get comfortable and grab a Mike's while she changed into something more comfortable. She disappeared behind the screen, emerging a few minutes later wearing a pair of comfortable looking blue jeans and a blue cowl necked sweater that still looked nice, but definitely not glam. She settled on the couch next to Esme, wrapping her legs up in front of her lotus style. She snatched a bottle off the table, wiggling back into the cushions of the couch and taking a long drink before looking back at me as I sat watching the scene with an excited smile.

"Okay kiddo, now tell us what you've been thinking for your nuptials. We'll go from there."

I sighed and took a deep breath. "Well, nothing big. I really want to keep it just friends and family only. Actually," I looked at Esme for a confirmation of if my idea would be feasible, "I was really hoping that we could get married at the beach house later this summer. The beach house is so special to the both of us and I think it would be perfect. Maybe we could have it on the beach at sunset with an arch of flowers over us and Edward could wear something comfortable like white linen pants and a white button down with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hair all messy the way he always wears it. We could both be barefoot and take a walk along the surf after we're done. Then when we get back from our alone time we could have a reception on the deck with barbecue and potato salad."

I had gotten so lost in my daydreams about the casual wedding of my dreams, I realized I wasn't even seeing the room in front of me. When my eyes focused on the present again, I was met with three very different expressions. Alice looked to be in shock, completely disgusted with my concept. Toni looked amused as she nodded along approvingly. Meanwhile, Esme beamed at me with tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Bella," she finally sighed, "that sounds absolutely beautiful! It sounds to me like you already have it all planned out, we just have to organize the details. It just sounds so much like you and Edward. We'll start looking into caterers and perhaps we should get some sort of wedding planner involved so you don't have to stress about the details. With the rest of your medical training and helping Edward get back up to where he should be, you won't have the time to dedicate to planning a wedding in such a short amount of time. I can work with the planner on all the little details and then you can just approve or adjust what we come up as you see fit…that is if you want?"

I jumped up and ran over to wrap my arms around my future mother's shoulders. "Oh, thank you so much, Esme. That sounds perfect! I love you!"

She chuckled holding me close. As I pulled away, she wiped at her eyes carefully to avoid smearing her mascara.

I looked over at a shell shocked Alice and smiled, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, squeezing her a little. "Calm down Pix…you get to have the big lavish wedding of your own some day, but this really is my ideal wedding. I'm not looking for a big Princess Diana or Cinderella thing. I just want Edward and I, committing ourselves to one another, and our friends and family there to see it. Okay?"

She sighed and slumped, smiling at me sadly. "I understand…just know that when it's my turn you're going to be dressed in a big froufrou Bridesmaids dress walking down a fifty foot long aisle in the biggest church in Chicago and I better not hear one word of complaint!"

I laughed and hugged her again before turning back to Toni. "Okay, so I want it to look like a wedding, but I don't want big fluffy skirts, or sleeves, or for me to blind everyone with the reflection of the gazillion sparkles sewed to my chest. I want simple, comfortable, and beach appropriate."

Toni nodded.

Esme raised her finger in question. "I just want clarification, Bella. We don't want _plain_ though right? I mean it IS a wedding. My only son's wedding, and my one chance at this mother of the groom thing." She begged me with her eyes.

I smiled. "Yes, Esme, I want to be a bride. No plain cotton sundresses, I want to have a hint of romance, but not the overly fluffy debutante look either."

She smiled and relaxed back into her seat as Toni sorted through the rack next to her, pulling an arm full of dresses that she placed next to the screen for me to try.

We spent the next two hours trying on dresses, but nothing seemed right. She had some beautiful mermaid type dresses, but we all agreed that Bella plus long tight skirts that restrict movement was a recipe for an embarrassing fall while walking down the aisle. There was an argument about trains, but when I reminded everyone that anything dragging the ground would bring a pile of sand along with me as I walked the beach, they all agreed that we needed something no longer than ankle length. We tried a few shorter dresses that were nice, but not right.

After a while, Toni suggested that Alice and Esme take a bathroom break. While they were gone, she sat me down.

"Tell me what you liked best about the dresses we've tried today," she smiled at me with a notepad in hand. "Give me a couple of weeks and I'll see if I can use your favorite parts to design a dress that really has everything you liked best."

I sat with her, detailing my favorite lengths and styles. She smiled as she scribbled, pausing occasionally to gaze off into space as though she were mentally designing the dress as we spoke.

When I was done, she nodded and stood up, offering me her hand. "I think I can design something to make you happy, Bella. I'll call you when I have something to show you. If you're happy, I'll get started working on it as soon as I can. It shouldn't be any problem to get it done by the end of the summer."

I hugged her tightly around the shoulders. "Thank you so much, Toni. This means the world to me. Thank you for helping me have my dream wedding."

She winked, "Just as long as I get an invitation and first choice of a piece of barbecue chicken, we're good."

I smiled and nodded before sliding back behind the screen to change back into my clothes.

Toni joined us for lunch out and then the ladies returned me to the apartment where I found my lazy fiancé still buried in our bed with the down comforter wrapped around him like an Edward burrito. I couldn't help but laugh as I jumped on the bed next to him, making him groan and wipe at his eyes blearily.

"How did it go? Did they shop you to death?"

"Sort of…I have a world famous designer creating my dream dress. I told your mother the ideas I have for the wedding and she was all excited about it and said we could do it at the beach house and she's hiring a wedding planner to help her work out the details and I get to have veto power. It's all working out so perfectly, all we have to do is set a date!"

He sat up slowly rubbing his hands over his face in a daze. "Hold on…what? You already have our wedding all planned out and you haven't even really talked to me about it besides the beach house part. How about you tell me what you had in mind first?"

I giggled and apologized before I started outlining my daydreams for our perfect beach wedding. I watched his eyes glaze over as he pictured it, a big goofy smile spreading across his scruffy face, covered in reddish-blonde stubble. When I finished, he reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me to straddle his thighs as he leaned in for a long sweet kiss.

"That sounds so perfect, Bella! I love it. Let's do it! Your break before your Residency starts is the whole month of August, right?"

I nodded and his smile widened. "Let's do it in the middle of August and then we would have the first week or so to prepare and then the rest of the month to honeymoon and get back in time for you to recover before starting your Residency. What do you think?"

My eyes started to mist and I nibbled my bottom lip. "I can't believe we are really doing this…this is so amazing. I love you so much." I leaned forward and kissed his lips. "That sounds perfect."

He wrapped his arms around me tighter and shifted his hips below me letting me feel his excitement at the whole idea as I moaned. We were just getting our groove on when my phone rang in my pocket. I recognized it as Esme's number.

I jumped off his lap and pressed the button. He groaned and mumbled, "And so it begins." I giggled, bumping his leg with mine as I listened to Esme on the other end of the line.

An hour later, I was off the phone after telling her about the date we discussed and a hundred other things, moaning to myself when I realized that Edward wasn't wrong…this was just the beginning.

O~o~O~o~O

I returned to work the next morning to find that much had changed over my two days off of work. Katie had been downgraded from the ID wing having received clean sputum cultures for two days in a row. I was going to miss her, but since Carmen said that my duties were going to be expanding beyond the ID wing, I had hopes that I would work with her again a few times before she was released to go back home.

I also had good news in regard to Charlotte. On New Year's Eve they began a new treatment that her body seemed to react to more positively than any tried to that point. Very quickly, her temperature began to drop and she started to show marked signs of improvement. Last night, the decision was made to begin weaning her off the ventilator and by morning she was already showing definite signs of taking the change well. With any luck, they would be removing her ventilator and reviving her by the end of the day on Tuesday.

The call that made me finally face my fears came in at three forty five in the afternoon that day. I was working on the ID wing when I got a page to call down to the ER. I was confused, but rushed to the nurse's station to call down and find out what was going on. My call was met with a frantic nurse who began explaining that Ethan Lancaster had been brought in via an ambulance to the ER after having suffered a major trauma. He was in a great deal of pain and was being highly combative, but the doctors were reluctant to sedate him because there was a possibility of a concussion. They didn't want him to lose consciousness until he was more thoroughly evaluated, but he wouldn't let them near him and kept begging for me.

My heart started pounding at the thought of walking into that room again. I swallowed hard and could hear my breath wheezing slightly as I tried to will my vocal cords to work. Then I heard the scream in the background and before I realized I was reacting, I told the nurse I was on my way and was running for the elevator banks.

I tapped my foot impatiently on the floor of the elevator as it moved slowly to the bottom floor. Three minutes of frustration later, the doors opened and I burst through them, shoving past the waiting people outside the door, and running down the concourse toward the Emergency department.

I felt my hands vibrating at my sides as the waiting room came into view. My labored breath grew more difficult as the room grew larger and larger the closer I was to my destination. A few moments later, I broke through the double doors and was standing in the waiting room with the ugly orange plastic chairs and plain cream walls.

I took in the scene with panicked wide eyes as I stood, momentarily paralyzed. I could feel the panic welling inside my chest. The walls felt as though they were closing in on me, making me want to run back to where I had come from. I leaned down, resting my palms on my knees as I struggled to gain control.

I glanced back up, finding myself eye to eye with a terrified Mrs. Lancaster who watched me with pleading eyes. Her son needed me, and I was falling into a selfish panic attack. We maintained our eye contact as slowly my breathing leveled and the panic began to fade. I heard the piercing scream come from the exam room down the hallway and suddenly I remembered why I was there.

I turned and sprinted down the hallway, shoving past the nurses in the corridor until I reached the room from which I could hear Ethan's wails. I quickly squirted some antibacterial gel from the canister on the wall outside of the door before pushing it open. I grabbed gloves off the wall, throwing them on, before rushing to his bedside.

"Ethan, I'm here, sweetheart. It's doctor Swan. You have to calm down and let the doctors look at you."

He looked up at me with red swollen eyes full of panic and pain. My heart clenched harder. I ran my hands through his hair and started talking to him, telling him all about my new job working with kids up on the pediatrics floor. I told him all about the decorations on the walls and how many kids I worked with every day, leaving out any details that would break any laws. Slowly he began to relax and not fight the workers who set about trying to assess his state of being. He locked eyes with me as tears streamed down his face. I kept pushing his hair out of his eyes as I reached into my pocket, removing my pen light, and checking his pupils which were thankfully equal and reactive.

I examined his head, the slight contusion causing copious amounts of blood to stain his shirt and mat his hair. I attempted to clean some of it up and treat the wound while I told him all about the news of me getting engaged and that I was going to be an Aunt in the late spring. After a while, the doctors were able to administer pain medication, which allowed him to relax completely and finally rest. He drifted off to sleep as the doctors worked on casting his legs after they had reset them painfully earlier as I fought to keep Ethan calm.

After he was finally out, I discovered the full range of his injuries. He had been playing with a cousin who goaded him into climbing a ladder onto the roof of the garage. It was something his cousin did often. Trying to climb down, he fell about six feet, resulting in breaking several bones in his legs, his left radius in his arm, and a gash in his head when he hit the ladder on the way down.

The doctors asked me to update his mother since I had a history with the patient. I cleaned up in the sink and spent several minutes trying to slow my heart again before returning to the waiting room. The panic crept up my sternum, but I was able to control it as I explained everything to a very relieved Mrs. Lancaster. She hugged me, thanking me when we were done. I quickly escaped the room, but thankfully without falling into another full blown panic attack.

I walked directly to Dr. Kellison's office. Thankfully, she was in between patients and let me in right away. She beamed at me as I told her about what had happened. Even though I felt weak and exhausted from the experience, she said I had done so well that she couldn't have been prouder if she tried. She called up to Carmen's office, informing her of the events of the afternoon and suggesting I be relieved for the rest of the day. Carmen agreed whole heartedly.

I walked into the apartment to find a surprised Edward in the kitchen working at assembling something for supper later tonight. His eyes glowed down at me as I detailed the experiences of my day.

When I was done, his lips crashed down on mine. His intensity was startling. He began to lead me down the hallway to our bedroom as he mumbled into my neck how proud he was of me. He turned me after entering our bedroom, entering the bathroom and stripping my clothes as we walked.

A few moments later, we were both naked in the luxurious shower as he reverently washed my body and rinsed me before washing my hair gently under the spray. Once I was thoroughly cleaned, he guided me toward the back wall, leaning in to kiss me with his hands pressed against the shower on either side of my head.

"So, we're going to become Mr. and Dr. Cullen on a beach at sunset with the smell of barbecue cooking in the air all around us?"

I giggled and ran my hands across his chest dotted with beads of water. In the time since the accident, he had lost some of his definition with his inability to work out, but he was still the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I could feel his arousal standing at attention between us as I let my hands drift down in its direction.

"It's all the things that remind me of summers at the lake house, sitting at the beach, barbecuing on the grill at sunset, playing in the tiny surf that Lake Michigan manages to create most days, and wiping away any of the bad memories. We're claiming our future and setting the tone for the rest of our trips there."

I grasped him in my hand pumping lightly as I leaned up and gazed intensely into his eyes, "Plus, I thought it was appropriate to bind our lives in the same location that we first bound our bodies."

He groaned, his emerald irises darkening noticeably. He leaned forward, claiming my mouth eagerly. His hands drifted down my slick arms and sides to grasp roughly at my hips as he turned me and settled me on the seat in the corner. Kneeling in front of me, his mouth began to drift down my neck to bury between my breasts. His tongue flicked out to lick the water from my skin, drifting over to my nipple where he nibbled it gently while tweaking the other with his fingers and then trading sides.

After a bit of torture, he pulled back and kissed me hard before pulling away and plunging his head between my thighs. I was already so turned on with all the wedding talk that I was moments away from exploding on his tongue. He moaned and licked at me voraciously before jumping up to claim my lips again as he pushed himself deeply inside me in one smooth move.

We moaned and groaned loudly as he pounded into me on his knees in the shower before grabbing my waist and spinning me to kneel in front of the seat and entering me again from behind. We didn't last long after the change in position as we came together, hard and extremely loudly.

After taking a few minutes to recover, we washed off again, drying one another before stumbling into bed. We passed out completely naked in each other's arms, Edward's dinner preparations long forgotten.

_**Okay, I promise to write a more interesting shower lemon once Edward is fully recovered. Truth of the matter is, my imagination is too 'vibrant' for his current physical limitations after the whole shoot out mess and I've already taken far too many liberties with his recovery. We'll just say he's a fast healer because Jen is an uber-romantic who can't seem to keep their relationship realistic with what he's just suffered physically. I'll do my best to squeeze in a more interesting one later (wink). Okay, now it's time for reviews. I love to hear from you guys!**_


	45. Surfacing From the Deep

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: You know I don't own the original characters, but I have had fun manipulating them to fit my own imaginings!**

_**Okay, I have to begin with big, huge, massive thanks to Kimpy for basically writing Charlotte's procedure in this chapter! I was SO, SO, SO ,SO blocked for this part that I just couldn't do it justice at all, so finally I begged Kimpy to get me past my block by writing me an example of it and she gave me permission to just copy and paste it and edit it a little to match my needs and style. You can probably tell someone much more knowledgeable than I wrote that section, So big writer's credit goes to Kimpy in this chapter…I want to thank her for keeping this chapter from being stalled indefinitely! It's far more technically detailed than I typically get in my medical chapters for obvious reasons!**_

_**Also a big thanks to my beta Sihaya9 for her beta work and Sassenach Wench for her speedy validations!**_

**Surfacing From The Deep**

**BPOV**

I got up and went in extra early Tuesday morning to find out the latest Charlotte update before having to meet the Femmes on the floor for morning rounds. I was so excited and also a bit worried when I discovered that they had begun to reduce Charlotte's sedatives in preparation of removing her from the ventilator later that morning.

I couldn't hide my hopeful smile when I met the girls. Dr. K asked me what was going on. I explained as briefly as possible the general situation and Dr. K nodded with a smile.

"Well, then what are you doing here, Swan? I'm guessing you haven't had the opportunity to be involved in an extubation yet?" I nodded an affirmation that she was correct.

She laughed and shook her head. "Then go! It will definitely be far more informative than rounding with us this morning. You can come back down and join us once the excitement is over if all goes well; if not then we'll see tomorrow."

I smiled brightly at her. "Oh, thank you so much, Dr. K."

She nodded before turning away from me to resume her discussion with Alice. She smiled at me over Dr. K's shoulder, before focusing her attention back on the resident. I turned on my heel and rushed back to the elevators for the Peds ICU where the teams kept trailing in and out of Charlotte's room.

When I entered the room, Charlotte's parents looked up at me and smiled appreciatively. I stepped to the other side of her bed to take some time to help calm both her and her parents before the procedure began. Soon the nurse came in, asking Charlotte's parents to wait in the hallway during the procedure, while assuring them that they could watch from the doorway. I smiled up at them and promised to stay by her side the whole time until they were allowed to come back in.

It had been such good news that Charlotte's respiratory status was stable enough that she could be weaned off her ventilator, get extubated, and start to breathe on her own again. The bad news was that it is a medical challenge to balance the process finely enough to minimize stress and trauma to the patient. The problem everyone wants to avoid is a failed extubation; when that occurs, the patient ends up being reintubated within minutes of having the breathing tube removed. This is stressful for the patient and all those involved. Plus, once the tube has been reinserted, getting the patient back to the point of removing it again becomes much more difficult.

Everyone on Charlotte's care team knew how important it was for us to get the extubation right on the first attempt, because her lungs were more fragile due to her CF. Because of this, we had taken the time to wean her from her vent gradually, giving her lungs time to accommodate the changes. There are so many different breathing modes that can be used on a ventilator, thanks to the level of sophistication of the equipment. The settings include how many breaths per minute will be delivered by the vent; how big, in terms of overall volume each breath given by the vent will be; the percentage of oxygen given in each breath; and even airway pressure, which, when increased, helps keep the lungs open longer, to maximize the amount of oxygen delivered by each breath. As a patient improves, their breathing rate will be turned down gradually, forcing them to initiate more breaths on their own. The amount of oxygen in room air, the stuff that most of us breathe, is 21%. On a vent, the oxygen can be set anywhere from 21% - 100%. When a patient requires a much higher percentage of oxygen, between 80 – 100%, it is one indication that they are in respiratory failure. Likewise, there are some patients who never regain the ability to initiate their own breaths.

For Charlotte, we'd been managing her vent breathing rate, the percentage of oxygen delivered, and her airway pressures closely while she has been intubated. Over the course of the past 36 hours or so, we've been weaning her breathing rate downward. She started out at a rate of 30, and we've gotten it down to 12. While she was breathing at an average rate of 26-30 breaths per minute, the vent was only delivering 12 of those breaths. Likewise, her oxygen when she was first intubated was very high, but we had slowly weaned her down to room air percentages. Along the way with each change in setting, we had taken a VBG, or venous blood gas, to examine the levels of oxygen versus carbon dioxide in her bloodstream.

Charlotte has adapted to each ventilator change with no major issues, so the docs were getting ready to remove the tube this morning. While she was on the vent, she needed to be sedated, because it is very anxiety provoking, and we also needed to make sure she wouldn't be alert enough to try pulling out the tube. The sedation had to be weaned along with the ventilator because we needed her alert enough to be able to breathe on her own, but not so alert that she removed her own tube. Once again, it is a very fine balance to achieve, and we don't always do a good job of it.

The last step before we remove a breathing tube is to turn off the sedation entirely 30-60 minutes before the tube is removed, depending upon the type of sedation we have been using. For Charlotte, we used a medication called Propofol. It is a great sedative, because it keeps children very still, but when we turn it off, its effects are reversed almost immediately. For other medications, like Versed, for example, the effects stay in the body much longer, which is why they are weaned down gradually. Propofol is the drug that Michael Jackson used to request nightly to help him "sleep." It is rarely given to patients who are not intubated, because it can easily cause you to stop breathing. If you are already intubated, not breathing isn't a problem. If you aren't, you can die. Like Michael Jackson.

Charlotte's latest VBGs show that she is ready to be extubated. In talking to her nurse, I learned that she has had all three doses of the steroid Decadron, which we use to help reduce airway swelling for when the tube is removed. The doses are given six hours apart. Charlotte's doses were all in and she was ready to roll. She has been holding her own at a vent rate of 12, and her oxygen level sat at room saturation percentages and consistent satisfactory oxygen saturation stats. She was ready.

The doctors had turned off her sedation when I visited earlier this morning, and planned to give her a good hour to adjust before we take out her tube, so I had returned from the Femmes just in time. I held her hand, explaining to her what we were doing, even though she was so sedated that she couldn't look at me. I knew that underneath the medication she could hear me, though, so I made sure to let her know what we were doing, and when we were going to do it.

Before removing the tube, which is done by the attending physician, the nurse prepared the bedside with all supplies needed to reintubate a patient. This included a few sterile, packaged breathing tubes; a laryngoscope and blades, which is the instrument used to hold down the tongue and open the laryngeal area to see where to place the breathing tube (which ensures the doctor doesn't accidentally put the breathing tube down the esophagus and into the stomach by mistake); emergency medications, like a paralytic, for keeping a patient still while they are being intubated, and other assorted equipment. If you prepare for a worst-case scenario ahead of time, chances are that you won't need it. It's the occasions when you aren't prepared that you usually end up needing those particular supplies; it never fails.

The process of removing the breathing tube itself is actually very simple and straightforward. I understood it all in principle, but had yet to see it in practice while mentally stable enough to appreciate the procedure a bit more objectively. When Edward had been extubated, I was far more focused on him to learn anything.

When the procedure begins, we will turn off the sedation, remove the tape that holds the tube in her mouth, take air out of the cuff that holds the breathing tube in place in the airway, and pull the tube out. The respiratory therapist will be on hand, and he or she will typically place a nasal cannula on immediately following removal of the breathing tube. They follow that up with a special nebulizer treatment, which serves to open up the airway and reduce swelling at once. Most patients can be weaned off of a cannula gradually over the course of a few hours, depending upon how healthy their lungs were before they were intubated. We expect that Charlotte will need to use a nasal cannula for at least a day or so before her lungs will be ready to do it all on their own.

I began to explain all of this to Charlotte in terms she could understand as the nurse turned off her sedation. Even though her eyes weren't open, I knew she could hear me, because she squeezed my hand whenever I talked to her.

I looked up to watch the respiratory therapist use a special tape remover to get the tape holding the breathing tube in place off her cheek. The nurse paged the attending physician, letting her know that everything was set to extubate the patient. The doc arrived, assessed Charlotte's lung sounds with a stethoscope to make sure her lungs sounded relatively clear, gloved up, and told Charlotte that we are going to pull out her tube.

The tube was removed, and instantly the respiratory therapist used a suction catheter to eliminate any secretions from her airway in the back of her throat. Charlotte coughed weakly while a nasal canula was put under her nose and around her ears. The attending physician had her stethoscope on again, listening to how everything sounded now that the tube was out. She asked Charlotte how she was feeling, and she answered in a very small, weak voice. The doctor explained that it will take a few hours for her voice to begin strengthening, as her airway swelling started to decrease. It would gradually improve over the next day or so, until she has completely recovered from the airway trauma.

Once all the excitement died down and Charlotte was stable, I went back to her bedside to hold her hand and see how she was doing. She continued to cough every couple of minutes, which I assured her was completely normal. The nurse returned to suction her airway frequently, because her CF caused her to have such thick secretions. We wanted to make sure none of that interfered with her ability to maintain her airway – no one wanted her to be reintubated.

As she talked to me, I watched her breathing pattern for signs that she might be laboring too hard. While she was using some of her stomach muscles to help move her diaphragm to get more air into her lungs, she wasn't gasping for air, she wasn't struggling to breathe, and she didn't have any retractions. Any of these would be indications that she needed to have her tube reinserted; so all signs were good that she would remain extubated.

I made sure to let her know how well she was doing. She gave me a weak smile. It was a lot of work physically to get extubated, and she looked tired. I encouraged her to rest, promising her that her parents would be allowed back into the room to be with her soon. She complained that she felt a little hungry, but I explained to her that we needed to hold off on eating or drinking anything for a few more hours. We wanted to make sure she didn't accidentally swallow incorrectly or cough up anything into her lungs. Once she was breathing more easily and awake, we'd start her diet out gradually with sips of ice water, clear fluids (like broth, jell-o, and popsicles), and then get her back to a regular diet.

A few minutes later, Charlotte's parents were ushered back into the room. Her teary eyed mother ran to her side, leaning gingerly over the edge of the bed to hug her daughter close, placing kisses on her head through the mask covering her mouth. Charlotte smiled weakly at her parents as she tried feebly to return their signs of affection, but her body was so exhausted by the ordeal it had endured over the past week and a half that she didn't have much strength to utilize.

I watched her parents lavish her with love and promises of a mountain of Christmas presents waiting for her to open. Charlotte was extremely disappointed that she had missed Christmas, but her parents promised to come up later that week to visit with her siblings and she could open all of her presents once she was feeling stronger. It was then that she glanced around the room and her eyes fell on the figurine I had brought in for her a couple of days before Christmas.

"Where did that come from? It's pretty," she rasped quietly from her bed nodding toward the small gift.

"Dr. Swan brought that in for you just before Christmas, sweetheart. She said that the girl reminded her of you and she thought it would be good for a guardian angel to watch over you while you got better."

Charlotte looked over at me slowly with a small smile on her pale lips. "Thank you, Dr. Swan. Can I see it better?"

I nodded and walked over to the shelf, picking it up and bringing it to her side. I held it as her finger trailed over the small girl reading with the beautiful angel that reminded me of my mother watching over her shoulder with a gentle smile.

"It's beautiful, Dr. Swan. Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. I'm going to go put this back on the shelf and get back to my rounds. You need to rest, sweetheart. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Next time you wake up, you'll feel a little better."

I squeezed her hand before walking to the shelf and sitting the figurine back on the edge. I glanced back once more to notice that her parents had taken places on either side of her head, each taking a hand and her mother ran one tenderly through Charlotte's hair. I was so relieved my littlest patient was doing so much better. The scene still caused my chest to clench slightly though at the bittersweet memories of my mother who I missed more than usual when I saw tender mother-daughter moments such as this.

With a sigh, I stepped out of the room to disrobe from the protective clothing I was wearing and use some sanitizer on my hands before checking in at the nurse's station to make sure her O2 sats were still good. I had every faith in the nurses and doctors, but I just wanted to see it for my own peace of mind before I finally left to go join the Femmes for the rest of the morning.

**EPOV**

Bella had been so excited when she got up this morning. She said that Charlotte was probably going to finally be taken off of the ventilator sometime today as she floated around the room rushing to get to work and check up on her progress. I lay in bed, smiling at my beautiful fiancée while she dressed and braided her hair in front of the mirror attached to the back of the long low dresser against the far wall. She was always beautiful, but somehow she seemed to grow more and more beautiful every day.

After she rushed off to the hospital, I stayed in bed for a while thinking about the wedding and how much I was looking forward to making her my wife. I had wondered what kind of wedding she would want, worried just a bit that she would want the big cathedral with hundreds of guests with me stuffed into a hot penguin suit and an uncomfortable bow tie threatening to choke me the whole day. But to my most pleasant surprise, she started going on and on about her plans for the wedding of her dreams that just so happened to sound ideal to me as well. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect than getting married in the beach house over the summer. It would definitely provide the perfect picture to put in the last space on the collage frame.

I sighed and stretched before slowly dragging myself out of bed and in to the shower. I smiled when I remembered the night before as I pulled Bella in the shower with me to celebrate her victory over her fears. Of course, it was quite a bit tamer than what I really wanted to do, but that would definitely come later, once I was fully healed from my injuries. I can't wait to pick her up again and shove her against the wall as I piston inside of her, making her scream and arch against the tile.

I moaned at the fantasies that I fully intended to act out once it was safe again. Finding that I needed to relieve myself from my now prominent hard on, I continued my fantasies of taking my beautiful fiancée in our shower as she screeched my name while pumping my soap slicked hand over myself furiously.

I stepped out a half an hour later, once again relieved and clean. I dressed quickly before heading out to the station for the meeting I had with the chief. He had called me on Friday, asking me to come in today for a meeting at ten. I called down to Jensen and had him call me a cab before leaving the apartment to make my way down to wait in the lobby.

I exited the elevator just in time to see a flustered looking Emmett rush through the door and straight toward me once he spotted me.

"Thank God I caught you before the meeting. There are some things you should probably know before you walk in there. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't want to bother you while you were recovering, and then the engagement and everything, ugh. I just wanted the two of you to finally have some peace and happiness before the rest of this shit got in the way, but it seems like it's time to burst the bubble."

I furrowed my brow at Emmett as he rambled on, and then I realized, this meeting with the chief was not going to be good news.

"Emmett, what the hell is going on? What have you been keeping from me?"

Emmett shook his head solemnly, "A hell of a fucking lot, bro. I'm sorry. Maybe I made the wrong choice but you two have been through so fucking much that I thought you deserved a break to be happy without all the damn drama."

I sighed and grabbed the bridge of my nose roughly. I was annoyed, but I appreciated the general concept. After a moment, I looked up and nodded, slapping Emmett on the back a few times.

"I appreciate the effort, man, but the vacation from the real world is over. I think it's time you tell me everything. Come on, you can tell me in the cab on the way to the station."

We settled in the cab and I looked over at my best friend intently. "Okay, just tell me…no cushioning the blow…just lay it all out there."

I watched as the normally collected Emmett looked distraught, running his hand through his hair and clutching at his neck roughly.

"Fuck, man, I'm not sure where to start. I guess I should start with what you're about to walk into at the station. The shit hit the fan after the whole ER mess went down. The whole team is on probation for sneaking by with the chief gone and walking into a mission where we had emotional attachments to the hostages. We were about a hair's breadth from being suspended completely and a few of the admins were wanting us fired, but chief fought for us and we got by with only a six month probation, but one wrong move and we're gone."

I groaned and ran my hands over my face. "Fuck, man, I'm sorry."

"That's not the worst of it, Edward," Emmett continued quietly. "I've been trying to fight it, but, Chief wants to replace you on the team. He says that you will take too long to recover. There are too many guys waiting in the wings for your spot and he can't have a team one man short for three to six months when there is a long line of people who have been patiently waiting for a spot on a team. I have a feeling he's going to tell you today that he's giving your spot away."

I yelled a few random obscenities as I felt my hand reflexively hit the door beside me. "Motherfucking Trager! That fucking jackass just about ruined everything! Holy fucking hell, Emmett! This is so not fucking fair!" I was whining like a thirteen-year-old girl and really didn't give a fuck.

I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder, "I know, man, I know. We can still resist, but you know as well as I do that they're right. They have a list a mile long of guys fighting to get on SWAT. It's shit, but I think it might be inevitable."

I leaned forward and let my face fall in my hands. I was so thankful in that moment that Emmett had given me some time to be happy with Bella before facing all of this shit. It felt like that carefree moment this morning of watching Bella get ready and looking forward to our wedding without a care in the world was already a lifetime away. I was grateful I still had my beautiful fiancée and we were still going to have our dream wedding come summer, but now the beautiful dream was shrouded in clouds.

After a while, I raised my head again, knowing we were close to the station. "Anything else?"

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Feds say Sellers is back in the states. He slipped through their fingers in New York and they've lost track of him again. They think he's living under an alias, but they haven't gotten any leads yet. They don't think he had anything to do with the whole Bella mess, that she was collateral damage in Trager's fucked up quest to gain his respect or something, but there's no way to know for sure."

I groaned, feeling my stomach churn uncomfortably. The burn of bile was rising steadily in the back of my throat. Would we ever get a chance to really live in peace and safety? Maybe I should just resign if the chief wants to replace me. The only thing I really want to do with the CPD is be SWAT anyway. Now with Bella in my life, seeing all the danger that being tied to my job as put her in, maybe I should just let it go and get involved with something less dangerous.

I sat in silence next to Emmett for the short remainder of the drive, trying to imagine what else I could possibly do. Besides SWAT, and my once grandiose dreams of being an FBI agent, which is equally as dangerous, I've never really wanted to be anything else. I mean yeah, my trust meant I didn't have to work, but what the fuck would I do with my life if I didn't work? I couldn't see myself being the happy house husband and Mr. Mom while my wife went off to save lives in at the hospital every day. Truth of the matter is, I simply couldn't imagine life without my work.

I sighed, swallowing hard when the cab came to a stop in front of the station. I paid the cabbie, basically on autopilot, before staring up at the large brick building that meant so much to me only months ago but now looked ominous.

Emmett clapped his hand on my back roughly. I thanked him for the heads up as we went up the steps to the front door.

Emmett turned and made his way down to join the team for training exercises while I headed up the stairway to the chief's office on the second floor. I knocked on the door right as the clock ticked to ten.

I heard the gruff voice of the chief call me in."Come in, Masen, have a seat."

I entered and sat woodenly in the seat across from him as he folded his hands in front of him on the desk. He eyed me carefully before speaking.

"I'm assuming Swan informed you of the situation we've found ourselves in. We have the mayor pitching a fit because we're paying millions of dollars a year to have SWAT in Chicago. Meanwhile, during a major hostage situation, we have well trained officers going into a mission that they have no business being in due to their personal connections, a hostage taking down our perp as he takes down one of our own officers, and an empty spot in a crucial team that needs filling sooner rather than later. The rest of your team is on probation for the next six months, and you are out of commission for a minimum of two more months. I hate to do this, Masen, because you are one of the best we have, but I have no choice but to replace you on the team."

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, trying to keep my temper in check, but already beginning to fail miserably. "There's no fighting this? I'm just simply out?"

"Of your original team, yes, but you are a damn good cop with a nearly spotless record, with the exception of the events of the day in question. In time, you can reapply for SWAT and take a place on another team, or what I would much rather see you do is apply yourself to furthering yourself within the department. You would make a fine detective, maybe even some day you could be chief. I see you as being a highly skilled leader. Take some time to think about what you might want to do. You won't be able to return to duty for at least two to five more months anyway, and I would love to see you advance here. I understand you are getting married soon, congratulations by the way, and you probably want to go discuss this with your fiancée. I'll be waiting for your call."

And just like that, my life shifted on axis in ways I hadn't even considered when I woke up this morning. I wasn't sure what would happen next, but suddenly, I knew that there was only one person I needed to see.

I stood up and shook the chief's hand solemnly before walking out to the street to try to hail a cab. I asked to be taken to the hospital. I needed to see Bella. Hopefully she would be available to talk for just a little bit. I wasn't going to tell her all of this yet, I just needed to see her face and hear her voice because right now she was pretty much the only thing in my life besides my parents that I could count on.

I was so lost in thought that I was at the hospital before I knew it. I walked in the front doors to make my way to the pediatric ward to hopefully find Bella, but before I reached the elevators I bumped into my very distracted looking father who was leading a group of three suited men who looked suspiciously like lawyers toward his office. I followed along, catching his eye before he entered the conference room just past his office. He told the men to go ahead, get settled, and help themselves to some coffee before closing the door, crossing over to me with a concerned look on his face.

"Everything okay, Dad?" His expression darkened as he pulled me into his office.

"Not exactly, son. I should have told you sooner, but the hospital is suffering some legal backlash from the events in the ER. Several people that were involved that day have filed suits against the hospital for not providing better security. It's a bit of a mess. All I can say is thank the good Lord for your Bella or we'd be in far worse shape than we already are."

"Oh jeez, Dad, is it really that bad?"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair disconcertingly. "We are up to seventeen cases filed against us. Ironically, only two of those are from actual hostages, the rest are from people who got out of the waiting room when Trager entered." He shook his head sadly. "The world has most certainly changed, son. It's disheartening to say the least. I haven't told any of the family yet, but I'm pretty certain that before it is over, Bella will have to testify. I wouldn't be surprised if the SWAT team wasn't subpoenaed as well."

I took a deep breath and shook my head. All of these burdens around us and we were clueless. Our family shouldered the burden alone, giving us a chance to enjoy our engagement before we had to face the reality of the world around us. I couldn't help but feel guilty and also grateful for the brief utopia we got to enjoy together. It had been marred with worries for Charlotte and Bella's other patients, but that was nothing compared to all of this.

"Do you want me to tell her about it tonight?"

He sighed. "Preparing her might not be a bad idea, but I'd really like to sit her down with the lawyers soon and give her a full overview of what we are facing."

"Any idea when this is going to go to trial?"

He shook his head slowly. "They anticipate late spring or early summer, but there are no guarantees. I will do my best to make sure that it doesn't interfere with your wedding plans." He smiled at me through the tension, his eyes twinkling softly. "I'm glad you are proceeding and not getting bogged down in the details and delaying things. Part of me worried you would stay engaged for a decade before making the big final commitment. I'm glad you aren't doing that. Bella's an amazing woman; you are a very lucky man, son."

I smiled and nodded, "That I know for sure, Dad, no lectures needed there. I'm going to run up and see if she's got a free minute. I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"Love you too, son." He gave me a tight hug before opening the door. He waved as he disappeared behind the large oak door that led to the lavish boardroom.

I sighed, feeling even heavier than before, while riding the elevator to the pediatric floor where Bella typically worked. I rounded the corner to find her working at a computer station in the nurse's area behind Angela. Angela looked up and smiled brightly before clearing her throat.

"Um, Dr. Swan? I believe you are needed."

Bella turned around looking confused until her eyes fell on my face. A radiant smile broke out on her pink pouty lips. She jumped up and ran over to me, throwing her arms around my neck and glancing down the hall in both directions. Seeing it was empty, she dragged me into a supply closet behind the nurse's station.

"I'm so happy to see you, baby! It has been the best day! Charlotte is doing great and the rest of my kids are all showing signs of improvement!"

I smiled down at her, making the instant decision that all of this gloom didn't have to touch her today. I refused to ruin her perfect day with things that would still be waiting for us to deal with tomorrow and all the days that followed. I leaned down, kissing her lips gently, my hands rising to cup her face.

"I'm so glad to hear that, baby. I just wanted to see your face and say hi. I was missing you today."

I tucked an escaped strand of hair behind her ear and tipped forward to kiss her forehead carefully as she curled herself against me, cuddling up with a sigh.

"I love you, Edward. August can't get here fast enough!"

I chuckled and kissed the top of her head before resting my cheek against her soft braid. "I love you, too, and I agree whole heartedly. You are the most important thing in my life, sweetheart. I can't wait until we're married."

We hugged a bit longer as I soaked in the calming that her presence provided my overtaxed system before I sighed. "I need to let you get back to work, don't I?"

She breathed her own sweet sigh before nodding reluctantly. "I'll see you at home after work?"

She smiled brightly and nodded as she tipped up on her toes and stretched up to my mouth, kissing me gently, drawing her fingers through the back of my hair tenderly.

"I'll be home around six. Wanna get pizza tonight?"

"Sure thing, beautiful," I replied, smiling down at her and trying to keep my face free from the stresses of the morning.

We left the closet as covertly as possible. She returned to her station after one more hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. I headed toward home. I knew she was probably going to kick my ass for it later, but I wanted her to have one more blissful day of ignorance before I let the rest of the world crowd down on her. She deserved it and I refused to allow her joy at Charlotte's recovery get shadowed by things neither of us could control.

I went home and placed an advance order for pizza to be delivered in time for her to get home from work. Tonight I was going to treat her with a relaxing night of movies and pizza, and then tomorrow night, I would sit her down again to catch her up with all the things we were about to face in the coming months.

_**Hey guys, I got some exciting news yesterday. I have been invited to do a live author's chat on The Writer's Coffee Shop forum at the end of the month. I don't have full details yet, but it looks to be about an hour of me answering everyone's questions (gulp) on either Tuesday, December 29**__**th**__** or Wednesday, December 30**__**th**__** between 6 and 8 pm EST. I'll be sure to share full details when I know more! **_

_**In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks for the reviews!**_


	46. A Raft In The Flood

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or the rights to any of the mentioned movies.**

_**As always, thank to Sihaya9 for her beta work. Not to mention Sassenach Wench who approves my submissions so quickly for your reading pleasure :)**_

**A Raft In The Flood**

**EPOV**

"Ah man, Edward, I'm so sorry, bro," Emmett's voice echoed over the phone line from the locker room at the station. "So that's it?"

I sighed, melting into the couch, grabbing the bridge of my nose, and feeling my chest twinge. I hadn't really noticed the pain so much lately or at least had managed to ignore it in favor of all the great things happening around me, but today the pain seemed to nag at me incessantly.

"I guess so. He said he thinks I have the potential to take a leadership position in the CPD, maybe even be a chief some day. I don't know, Em. I'm just not the desk work type, but at the same time, I really don't want to go back out on the beat either. We were lucky to get in on the ground floor when they started SWAT in Chicago. None of us worked the beat for long, and I didn't really like it when we did."

I sighed again. I could practically hear Emmett nodding along in agreement.

"And there's more too, man. I don't know what I can do, but I keep thinking that I don't want to work such a dangerous job anymore. Most of this stuff that has happened with Bella all ties back into her connection with us and our connection to the mob busts. Not only that, I promised her that we wouldn't leave her, that we would stay safe. The only way to really keep that promise is to quit, but fuck if I know what to do with my life if I did. I could look into joining the Feds, but that's not really any safer." I groaned, tugging at my hair. "I don't know, man, but all I do know is that I'm out."

I could hear Emmett groan again, "I'm still sorry, Edward. I know what SWAT meant to you, but I also know you're a smart man with a lot of resources. You'll figure something out."

We both sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say. Finally Emmett broke the quiet with the dreaded question. "So, when are you going to tell Bells?"

"Not today, that's for damn sure. I went to see her at work to calm myself down and on the way I found out that there are some lawsuits brewing at the hospital that she will most likely have to testify for. The rest of us might be called on too. Anyway, when I got to the floor to see her, she was so ecstatic and having such a great day that I knew I couldn't tell her today. I'm going to treat her with a nice evening of movies and pizza tonight and save it for tomorrow. Her knowing won't change any of it and one more day won't make a difference."

Emmett chuckled, "You do realize you're playing with fire right? She's going to be way pissed if she finds out first."

I grumbled and confessed that I realized that, but I was willing to take the tongue lashing to see her as happy as she had been when I saw her earlier today. For months there hadn't been a single day where she didn't have SOMETHING weighing on her. Today she can just enjoy the relief before she gets a new load of shit to weigh her down.

After we hung up, I sat around sulking for a while, trying to figure out my next move. I had given Melissa the day off, so I had all day alone to stew and try to work some of the frustration out of my system. I hoped I could just let Bella relax without tipping her off about the rest of the shit going on around us.

By six, I had exorcised most of my frustration demons, set up the living room with a selection of movies for her to chose from, a large Chicago style pizza loaded with her favorite toppings on the coffee table, and a cooler full of her favorite soft drinks so we wouldn't even need to get up to go to the kitchen. I also had an assortment of candy that Bella affectionately referred to as 'movie treats' since she only ever got them at the movies. The bag of goodies included peanut M&M's, Reece's Pieces, Nerds Ropes, and Sour Patch Kids. I didn't know if she would want chocolate or sugary sweet.

At five after six, Bella bounded through our front door with a wide excited smile on her lips. Her eyes twinkled in joy making the rest of my frustrations disappear the second I saw her. It was obvious she had showered and changed at the hospital, her still slightly damp hair dangling around her shoulders and her scrubs replaced with a pair of jeans and a soft looking sweater. She dropped her stuff by the table in the foyer before running into the living room where I waited for her, wrapping her arms around my neck, and burying her nose in the crook with a contented sigh.

"Now my day is absolutely perfect," she purred, causing me to smile. She kissed my neck a few times before trailing kissed up my jaw to my mouth and moved her lips over mine sweetly before pulling back and looking me in the eyes with a warm smile. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too," I smiled back at her, feeling truly relaxed for the first time since she left this morning, all thanks to having her in my arms again.

She glanced over her shoulder into the living room and giggled excitedly. "What's all this, baby?" She removed her hands from around my neck, grabbing one of my hands from her waist, pulling me toward our little date night corner.

"I thought we could have a full on date night, complete with movies, pizza, and movie treats."

Her smile was blinding when she turned back to me, grasping my hair and pulling me down for a much more intimate kiss that was full of appreciation before dragging me around the couch to sit down next to her. She threw open the pizza box and moaned at the aroma of tomato and garlic that wafted up at us from the pie inside.

I handed her a can of soda as she pulled a piece out and put it on a plate. She balanced it on the table in front of me before grabbing out a slice of her own and taking a bite, moaning in pleasure at the flavor.

"Mmmm, thish ish goo, Ewar," she mumbled through her full mouth earning a laugh from me. "Jush wa da docor orerd."

"Glad I did good, love. Now eat before your seefood display makes me loose my appetite," I teased earning a giggle shoulder bump combo.

I leaned forward and scooped the stack of movies off the table. "Okay, while you're enjoying your slice there, how about you decide what movie you want to watch. I brought out the full gambit in honor of date night, even including a few chick flicks in case you were in the mood for one. We've got _He's Just Not That Into You, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Wolverine Origins, _and _Fast and Furious_(the new one)."

She examined the covers as I flashed them at her, one of her slender fingers perched next to her mouth as she pondered with a sweet look on her face. "I don't know. I won't make you suffer through the first one, but I'm not really in the mood for the Wolverine one. Would you mind if we watched _Ghosts of Girlfriends Past?_ It looks funny and somewhat chick flickish, but maybe not so much as to make you want to go off yourself."

She giggled and I laughed too kissing her temple. "If you want the other one, I don't mind."

She shook her head. "No, this one looks good. I remember Sabrina saying she went to see it when it came out in theaters and got a kick out of it. Let's go for that one."

I got up and walked over to slide it in before plopping back down next to Bella and grabbing my pizza. While we watched, I started shifting uncomfortably when Matthew McConaughey's character's lifestyle seemed to mirror my own quite a bit. I relaxed a little after Bella elbowed me in the side with a giggle.

"Oh look, baby; they made a movie about Slutward! I just hope he figures his crap out like you did." I looked over at her incredulously. She just smiled back with twinkling eyes before leaning over to kiss my lips tenderly.

"I love you, Edward. I know that you don't do that stuff anymore and I am so grateful. Just don't backslide and we'll be golden." She added with a wink before leaning forward to grab another slice. I just watched in shock. Somewhere along the way, our relationship had shifted. My once uncertain Bella now had so much confidence in our relationship. I couldn't have been happier.

Halfway through the movie, we had both had our fill of the pizza and shifted so that we were cuddled close with my back propped against the chair arm with her between my legs, her back lying against my chest. I relished in the carefree evening that had gone so well. I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, burying my nose in her hair to soak it all in. I caught myself sighing occasionally, not looking forward to tomorrow when I would have to break the bubble for her too. I fought to push back the thoughts and enjoy the night with her, but it was just too hard.

Once the movie finished, we dug out the candy and began to munch. She put away the first movie and dug out _Fast and Furious_. We enjoyed the moive, both teasing about how Bella should take her Viper and see if she could flush out any underground racing rings in the Chicago area.

By the time it finished, it was getting close to eleven. We made our way toward the bedroom together, hand in hand. We didn't even bother to clean up the mess from our night in. We climbed into bed and curled up together. Bella sighed and lifted her head, resting her chin on my chest.

"Thank you for tonight. It was a great night and was the perfect cap to a great day, but I know you too well, Edward Anthony, and I hope you'll tell me whatever it is that's bothering you soon."

I just stared at her knowing eyes for a minute with shock on my face. She giggled a little. "Edward, you never drop in just to see me. I was so excited to tell you about what all had happened that it didn't occur to me until you left that something had to be going on for you to drop by like that. Then I remembered your meeting this morning and put two and two together."

I sighed and ran my hand over her cheek before leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "Tomorrow, love, I promise I will tell you everything tomorrow. Okay?"

She turned and kissed my hand before whispering 'okay.' Laying her head down to rest on my chest, she cuddled closer to my side. Ten minutes later, she was breathing steadily. I was still laying in bed staring at the ceiling wondering what on Earth I was going to do with the rest of my life. I thought I had it all figured out, but honestly now that I thought about it, I was only thinking short term. There was always going to come a time when I would either get injured or be too old to stay on SWAT and would have to move on anyway, but I had never really thought that far ahead. If I hadn't been injured, I probably could have gotten at least another ten years out of SWAT, and then maybe I would be ready to take it easy for a while and live off my trust while enjoying a little early retirement, but I certainly hadn't planned on retiring at twenty seven!

I spent the next three hours trying to think of possible alternatives with little success. Sometime around two in the morning, sleep was finally starting to catch up to me when my eyes popped wide open as an idea hit me square in the chest. I'd have to do some research to see if it would be a viable option and if there was a large enough need to warrant such a thing, but if things panned out the way I expected, I might just have some sort of direction to follow yet.

Bella shifted against me in her sleep. She sighed and whispered my name as she nuzzled her nose into my neck. Her breath began to tickle the flesh there every time she exhaled. I felt the stirrings of desire in me that I fought to tamp down so that Bella could get a full night's sleep, knowing she would have to be up at dawn the next morning for work. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and buried my nose in her hair, finally drifting off to sleep with a smile on my face.

**BPOV**

I woke up to my alarm the next morning to find Edward completely passed out, not even stirring like he usually did at the sound of my annoyingly loud alarm clock. After I shut off the squawking, I turned back toward him, propping myself up on my elbow and brushing his hair out of his face while he slept.

After he left yesterday, I could have kicked myself for not remembering sooner. I thought it was strange he just turned up like that, but I was so excited about my own stuff that it never even crossed my mind why he was there. I was just glad to see him. When I remembered his meeting with his boss, my stomach fell a little, knowing that whatever his boss had to say, it must have been something he didn't want to hear.

I showered and dressed at work before rushing home. When I saw the excited look on his face, I couldn't help but beam back at him. He was so sweet and adorable all night and seemed excited for our relaxing evening, so I decided to just enjoy it with him and bring the subject up later.

I couldn't resist anymore though by the time we crawled into bed. When I brought up the fact that I knew he had something going on, the look on his face was comical. He didn't think I suspected a thing. It was hard not to press him right then for more information, but I had a feeling that any bad news from work meant that he must have lost his slot on the team. If he wanted to delay dealing with that, then I wasn't going to push. I wanted him to tell me so badly, but when he sighed and asked if it could wait until tomorrow, I agreed.

So now it was tomorrow. I really wanted to understand and get some answers, but he was still too far gone to carry on any sort of rational conversation. I sighed, resigning myself to waiting another ten to twelve hours for answers and finally slid out of bed. I got dressed as quietly as I could so as not to disturb him and made my way to work.

It was a typical day. Things were going smoothly and everyone seemed to be in good spirits and steadily improving. Charlotte would be transferring back up to our floor in the next day or so, and the few Residents I saw on the floor were treating me a little less like a plague. All in all, the day was pretty good, but when it was all over, I knew I was going home to face what was most likely bad news. My stomach filled with butterflies in anxious anticipation. If the bad news was what I expected, then I was really worried about Edward. A lot of his identity was wrapped up in his position in SWAT. If he lost that, then I wasn't entirely sure how he would handle it. I just hoped I could be supportive enough to help him through.

When I walked into the apartment after work, the silence was more than a little eerie. I called out and heard Edward's voice reply. When I rounded the corner to enter the living room, he was waiting for me with a very somber expression on his face that immediately set off alarm bells in my head.

Edward pulled me into his arms and held me tightly, suggesting I shower, but I refused. I had been waiting long enough. I needed to know what was going on and I needed to know sooner rather than later.

My nerves amped up and my heart sped as I watched Edward fidget and display all of his nervous little habits in the course of a few seconds. This was bigger than his job, a lot bigger. I reached my hand over and held his, squeezing it. His eyes drifted from the spot on the floor that he focused on up to my eyes. The sad smile he gave me didn't reach his eyes. I returned the smile and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

"Whatever it is, we'll get through it together, but you not saying anything is freaking me out way worse than you just spitting it out already."

His face morphed into his crooked amused smile for a moment before it fell back into a sad mask. He sighed and tugged at his hair with his free hand, shifting his body to face mine fully.

"There have been a lot of things happening around us that our family and friends have been protecting us from so we could heal and enjoy the engagement. Yesterday, I kind of got hit with it all at once. I was really upset so I came to see you because I knew it would help, but then you were having such a good day that I didn't want to bring you down, so I decided to wait until today to tell you. I don't even know where to start."

He licked his lips and rolled his neck several times, popping it loudly until I finally shot my hands up to still the motion, cupping his cheeks between them and forcing him to hold my gaze.

"Start at the beginning and don't leave anything out. I'm a big girl and we're equal partners now, so no editing." I could feel my hands shaking on his face and he closed his eyes. He pressed his face against my left hand before opening them again and nodding with a look of determination on his face. He reached up and took my hands in his, bringing them down to our laps as he started in.

"I guess I'll tell you in the order that I was told. Emmett caught up with me before I went to the station to warn me what was coming. I guess the whole team got put on probation for breaking the rules and going into an op when loved ones were involved. It's sort of the number one rule of engagement and we all broke it. On top of that, my recovery is going to take too long to leave the team incomplete. I get the feeling from the chief that if the admins weren't so pissed about the rule breaking and the fact that in the middle of it all I was taken down, I might not have been replaced. The big wigs were calling for the whole team to be fired. The chief fought and got them probation instead, but this was one thing they wouldn't budge on."

I felt the tears pooling in my eyes already. They all risked, and in Edward's case, sacrificed so much for me, my heart ached with regret that I cost them so much. I squeezed his hand and rubbed the back with my thumb.

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I know how much SWAT means to you. I'm glad Emmett gave you a little warning though. I can't imagine how you would have reacted if you found out in the chief's office without any notice."

He nodded and continued telling me about how the chief told him that he could go detective or return to the streets as a beat cop and how he thought he had potential as a future chief which made me smile. I knew it was all true. Edward could do anything he put his mind to, but before he even expressed his apprehension at some day taking on a desk job, I already knew he would never be happy in a position like that. It broke my heart to see him looking so very lost as he stared down at our hands, not knowing how to proceed.

After a few minutes of staring blankly at our hands, he sighed and looked back up. With a sad smile, he continued telling me about what Emmett told him about Trevor being back in the US and the FBI believing he was living under an alias. It was a little nerve wracking, but he said they believed I was never a target for him personally, which made me relax just a tiny bit.

He reached up and cupped my cheek, "So I had all of this on my mind when I was coming to see you. I just needed to see your face to remind me that not everything in my life was a complete clusterfuck right now. The whole world could blow up around me, but as long as you were safe I would survive. I just needed a dose of that."

I leaned my face into his hand and smiled, trying to express through it the warmth that his words brought to my heart. He smiled back, grazing my cheek bone with his thumb and I was pretty sure he was feeling it all as well.

"That was a lot of information to get in one morning. I'm sorry. I've got to say, I'm a little pissed off at everybody though. I understand why they did it but still...what if one of us found some of this out another way, or Trevor was really after me? This could have gone a lot worse than it has for all of us, and it wouldn't have been such an overload if it weren't coming at us all at once. You know?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Unfortunately, there is more. On my way into the hospital, I ended up running into my Dad. He was leading three lawyers into the conference room. You'll get more details later, but to make a long story short, the hospital is facing a ton of lawsuits about the hostage situation. He said you're going to have to testify at some point when it goes to trial."

My eyes widened. I felt my breath involuntarily pick up pace as a chill ran up my spine. "Testify? Oh God! I'm still barely able to talk about it all without flipping out and I had to fight off a major panic attack when I went down to help Ethan earlier this week. How on earth am I going to be a stable witness to testify?"

He looked pained as he reached up to wipe away the tears that had instantly formed and began to trickle down my face before cupping my cheek. "Like you said earlier, Bella, we're going to face this together. We're going to be okay, baby. I promise."

I nodded numbly staring at his eyes and trying so hard to believe him, but it was hard. Just as I felt like I was making progress and beginning to heal, now there's a new hurdle to try to get myself over. It was unfair to always lean on Edward like this. He was suffering just as much as I was, plus the added pain of losing the job that he loved so much, and here I was whining about having to testify in court. All I had to do was get up on the stand and tell my story, but the thought alone made the walls feel like they were drawing in on me. Hopefully working really hard with Dr. Kellison would help me to be ready in time for whatever trial we were about to face.

I shifted my body to lean against Edward. He melted back into the couch. We just held each other, trying to comfort and draw comfort from one another. I had so many emotions running through my body. I was hurt and sad, angry and frustrated, exhausted and drained, and most of all worried...worried about what all of this meant for Edward and our future. I hoped Edward would be able to find a direction soon, or else he would be in great danger of getting lost all over again.

After we sat for the better part of half an hour, my stomach rumbled loudly. Edward laughed, pulling me up, and leading me to the kitchen. He made us sandwiches that we picked at, both feeling emotionally drained.

After we finished, his face brightened as he shot me a devious smile. Leading me to the bathroom, he led me to lean against the sink before running a hot bath in the large Jacuzzi tub. After he was done adjusting the temperature, he turned to me while the tub filled and began to strip my clothes off before helping me into the tub and disappearing through the doorway.

I frowned at it for a while, asking if he was coming back, but got no reply. Just as the tub was getting high enough that the water covered the jets, he returned looking proud of himself as he balanced his iHome with his iPod docked on it in one hand. sitting it carefully on the counter, and a bottle of beer and a wine cooler in the other.

He walked over, handing me the two open bottles, before retuning to the iPod and starting the soothing classical music before stripping down himself. He turned off the water before sliding into the tub behind me. He took the beer from my hand, taking a long swing. He kissed my neck as he reached around me to hit the button making the jets rumble to life all around us.

Edward reached a hand forward, wrapping it around my waist and pulling me back against his chest. He took another long draw from his beer with exaggerated 'ah' when he was done. He smiled down at me with a twinkle in his eye. I reached up to tap my bottle against his before taking a long sip of cold sweet Strawberry Daiquiri flavored wine cooler.

It didn't take long before both drinks were gone and the bottles were abandoned to the floor beside the tub. With both hands free, I soon discovered that Edward's hand were on a mission that excited me. He kissed and sucked at my neck as his hands explored under the frothy surface of the water.

The more he explored, the more my body seemed to want to push back against his, creating delicious friction along the hardness that was shoved into my lower back, causing Edward to hiss lightly.

I was taken off guard when in a huge slosh of water, I was instantly spun to face him in the tub. My legs naturally settled on either side of his thighs as our mouths crashed together, tongues battling for dominance. We had experienced so many different types of sex so far in our relationship, and while I didn't have a specific label for this one, this was yet another new one for us.

We clung together as though we were struggling to anchor ourselves to one another as our hands and mouths roamed feverishly. We were both searching for self assurance and trying to prove to one another that we were one unit and nothing, especially not things such as this, would break us apart. We would lean on each other and give to one another completely.

The water sloshed over the side, spilling onto the floor as Edward lifted me up and positioned himself at my opening. I sunk down quickly and forcefully with my eyes locked with his. We both moaned. I leaned forward again to lock my mouth with his, once more needing to be connected in every way possible in that moment. His hands roamed my body as I lifted slowly before lowering myself forcefully, grinding my hip into his once he was completely sheathed within me.

He reached out and grabbed my hips, setting our motion as the water sloshed back and forth in the tub around us, occasionally cresting over the side and adding more to the puddles already trailing across the floor while I sat back and stared into his eyes. As our bodies slid together in tandem, our eyes stayed locked in an intense gaze full of unbreakable promises. Together...whatever happened, whenever it happened, however it happened, we would face them together.

My eyes began to roll into the back of my head as Edward shifted me slightly, changing the angle, and suddenly making contact in all the right places at once. I reached up, planting my hands on his face and neck as my moans continued raise higher and higher in pitch, echoing off the walls of the bathroom.

When my eyes opened again, the fire boiling behind Edward's emerald eyes sent me over the edge. My whole body began to vibrate with my climax as I fought to keep my eyes open and locked on his. Seconds after I fell, he joined me and he too struggled to keep his eyes on mine. A pleasant fire ripped through my soul before I fell against his chest, kissing it softly, as I struggled to regain control of my muscles.

Several minutes later, I finally sat up, running my hands over his relaxed face. I closed eyes and once my hands finished their journey, his eyes slowly fluttered open. He smiled and pulled me close to kiss my nose and then my forehead.

When we finally sat up and surveyed the damage, we both started laughing. He flipped the switch to turn off the jets and another tab to drain the water. We struggled to get out of the tub without killing ourselves on the slippery marble flooring. Not really having the energy to actually face the mess, we just grabbed a few towels, tossing them down on the floor to soak up the water. Drying off quickly, we stumbled to bed, curling up under the covers.

"Edward?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Hmmm?" Edward answered back sleepily.

"Don't ever keep anything like this away from me again, okay? I don't care if I just won the Nobel Peace Prize, I don't want you to wait to tell me about important stuff like this. Promise me..."

I felt his lips on my hair and his breath tickling my scalp as it shifted a few hairs gently. "Okay, love, I promise."

"Thank you. I love you," I yawned quietly.

"Love you too," he mumbled back.

His breathing evened out almost immediately. I stayed there in the dark, hovering on the edge of sleep, but my frustration kept me from falling over the edge. I kept thinking over and over about how, for some reason, our life just couldn't seem to stay calm.

Even when things were the best they've been so far, everything was boiling all around us, just waiting to pour down on our heads. I was annoyed with my brother, but at the same time, I was grateful. The time of ignorant bliss with Edward really had been a gift.

While my first instinct was to call my brother and rip him a new one, I knew it was time for me to grow up and face this crap without throwing a fit every time I turned around. The truth of the matter is, life is messy, and people handle things in different ways. I needed to stop trying to control it and start managing the best I could with what I was dealt. If that meant letting my brother, friends, and soon to be husband shoulder some of the stress for a little while so that I can enjoy a part of my life that I should be able to enjoy, then I should let that happen and try to see the intention behind it and appreciate that it was done out of love. Of course, that is far easier said than done.

**EPOV**

I woke up the next morning to the sound of Bella's alarm clock just before she slammed her hand on it to shut the damn annoying thing off. I knew it was a necessity, anything less annoying and it wouldn't wake her up, but there were definitely some mornings I wanted to throw the damn thing out the window.

She climbed back over next to me, her body still gloriously naked since we fell straight into bed after our hot as hell bath the night before, not even bothering with pajamas. She slid over the top of me, making me groan as her soft skin pinned my erection between us.

"Isabella Marie, don't go starting something you don't have time to finish, because I won't hesitate to make you late if you keep that up."

Her eyes shot up to mine. I saw the cogs turning behind her eyes as she considered her options before blushing and giggling as she admitted defeat. She gave me one last kiss before hopping up to go into the bathroom to get ready for work.

I sighed contentedly, watching her stride away, enjoying the view as she wiggled her hips at me. I was so damn grateful that she took all of that shit so well yesterday. I had expected her to bitch me out for keeping it from her, but instead she showed me a shitload of compassion and understanding, for which I was so grateful. She told me that whatever it was, we would face it together. In that moment, I knew it was true. We would be fine.

I slid out of bed and tossed on some shorts before going into the kitchen to make her some eggs for breakfast while she got cleaned up for work. She walked in, ready to eat, just as I was sliding the eggs onto the plate from the skillet. She kissed me on the cheek before settling at the counter with her plate.

All too soon, she was out the door. I wandered around the apartment for a few minutes before deciding to go hop on the computer in the office and do a little research. Six hours later, I felt a little more confident in what I had been thinking of taking on. I decided to make a call to one of the two people I knew that could give me some solid advice on how to proceed with my idea.

I grabbed my cell phone off the charger and snatched the business card out of the file, dialing the number and waiting for the other end to pick up.

"Hello, Sergeant Grayson? I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Edward Masen, I was part of the group that came up from Chicago in October for the SWAT training at Camp Ripley?"

"Oh yes, of course I remember you and your team, Masen. You guys were one of the best teams I have ever seen. What can I do for you?"

We spent the next hour discussing my options. I explained the hostage situation, including a quick thank you for the additional training that had come in so handy, and explaining my current situation with being removed from the squad. I asked his opinion of what it would take to open a training facility somewhere in our area. He seemed to think that a facility like that would do well in our area. He suggested that we could expand beyond SWAT training to include bomb squad and other specialized training, as well as marksman training. He went on to suggest some avenues for me to look into as far as the types of accreditation a place like that would need, as well as the expansion of my own training to allow me to teach others.

By the time we finished our discussion, I was feeling so much better about the idea that came flooding into my head two nights before. If I couldn't be part of a SWAT team, maybe I could teach others and put some sort of training facility closer to home than Minnesota. I spun back to my computer and began looking into Sergeant Grayson's suggestions. Each click of the mouse made me feel better and better about my future.


	47. The World Spins Madly On

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the recognizable characters or the rights to the song mentioned in this chapter.**

_**TISSUE WARNING…this chapter made me cry, made my guest beta cry, and will probably make you cry too if you get emotional over these characters…just a heads up. Thank you to my guest beta AgoodWITCH for pinch hitting this chapter for me. Hope you enjoy and please review**_

_**Also, thanks as always to the lovely Sassenach Wench for validating the heck out of these chappies! She's awesome. I've said it before and I'll say it again...go check out her stories!**_

_**Song link for the Weepies **_**World Spins Madly On**

.com/watch?v=0lGWm59Xu6M

**The****World Spins Madly On**

**RosaliePOV**

January flew by quickly. None of us really got to see much of Edward or Bella. Bella was always busy with work, but on top of that, now she was seeing Dr. Kellison four times a week, trying to get ready for talking about everything that happened in court. She was doing so much better, but she still was struggling. She was very worried that being up on the stand was going to overwhelm her and she was going to hurt the hospital somehow.

Edward got a little emo for a while and then one day he just seemed to sort of snap out of it. It was less than a week later that we found out why. Edward it seems had found a way to turn lemons into lemonade and had already done all the legwork and research, and was planning on using some of his trust fund to open a SWAT and specialized unit training facility in the Chicago area.

Edward was so excited he was like a kid in a candy store. I think Bella was even more excited than Edward was and more than a little relieved to have one less person that she loved to worry about being injured or killed on the job.

I couldn't help but be a little bit jealous of that fact. Emmett's job always scared me, but now that we were having a baby together, that I might end up raising on my own some day thanks to the dangers of his job, I was terrified on a daily basis. Every day when he left for work, I would find myself wondering if he would be coming home that night.

I tried to convince myself it was just pregnancy hormones and that I would feel less anxious about it once the baby was born, but I knew in my heart that wasn't true. In fact, I was pretty sure it was only going to be worse.

As February began, I started getting excited for my twenty week check up. I had it up on the calendar for several weeks with a big huge red heart over the square to help remind Emmett that on February 5th, we would be finding out if we were having a boy or a girl. The guys kept insisting I was going to have a boy, but I kept having recurring dreams that I was having a girl. I couldn't help but hope that my dreams were right.

All my life I've wanted a baby, but I've always daydreamed of a little girl with curly blonde hair. Then, once I met Emmett, she started having sparkling blue eyes and adorable dimples in her cheeks to match his. I would love the baby no matter what because all my life, since I wasn't much more than a baby myself, I knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything.

The morning of the sonogram, Emmett was a ball of nervous energy. He was so excited that I had to literally force him to sit down before he wore a hole in the carpet from his pacing. Finally, after the tenth time making him sit down, I texted Bella. I asked if she had a minute to call and try to soothe the bear a little bit so I wasn't trying to wrangle a two hundred and eighty pound toddler in the waiting area.

She called a few minutes later and talked him down a bit so that he was at least half way tolerable. When the mission was accomplished, she asked to talk to me, demanding to be notified the second our appointment was over. I swore on my own heart and laughed when she said she had been teasing Emmett that he was going to have a girl because it was his punishment for his years of playing the field and now he was going to have to pay the price by worrying over his own daughter's virtue. I knew he had a taste of that with Bella, but he would be so much more insane over his own little princess.

We walked the four blocks to the hospital where I was going to get a quick appointment in with my doctor. Normally, I would have to go half way across town to get to his offices, but one of the perks of working on the Labor and Delivery floor and being a favored nurse of most of the medical staff was that they would bend a few rules to help me out.

Emmett eagerly followed me to the L&D floor, fidgeting in his chair as we waited for the doctor to come into the triage room where he would see me for the exam and then use a portable sono machine to do the ultrasound. He got a kick out of Emmett with his over eager attention to every detail. Thankfully, he was very patient when Emmett asked dozens of questions throughout the appointment and as he began the sonogram. Normally a tech would do it, but since he was a friend, and was trying to keep me here as short of a time as possible, he just did it himself.

Emmett and I both watched the screen in awe as the fuzzy black and white image of our baby's profile came on the screen; it moved its arms and wiggled its fingers - like it was waving hi to us. I expected Emmett to get boisterous and make jokes, but instead he stared in quiet reverential awe as the doctor measured the baby's head and torso and found the heart, letting the sound of its steady rhythm fill the room making my eyes tear up in joy.

I had seen it a million times, but to know that the miracle moving on the screen was inside of me...that was just too much to hold in. Tears of joy and awe slid down my face. The doctor finished all the important parts before skimming down and around to get a view between the baby's legs. He shifted the transducer one more time. and then there it was, as clear as day.

"Well Rose and Emmett, congratulations, it's a girl!"

I smiled brightly up at Emmett while the tears continued to stream down my face. My smile turned into a laugh when Emmett continued to stare at the screen, looking like he'd just been hit in the head with a Louisville Slugger.

"Are you sure, doc? I mean, sometimes you can be wrong, right?"

The doctor shook his head. "Yes, Emmett, sometimes the technicians are wrong when they've got a side view or are trying to see when the baby is on their stomachs, but as you can see, the baby has given us a wide open view between her legs and this little section here that looks like a hoof print...that would be your daughter's labial folds."

Emmett looked pale as he stared at the tiny spot the doctor was pointing at on the screen and then melted into the chair. "Holy shit, Bella was right. I'm going to be gray by the time I'm forty!"

I reached over and rubbed his hand with mine, trying to console him. I thanked the doctor, who handed me several pictures he had taken of the screen of the baby's profile and proof that she was, in fact, a girl. I stared at them for a while in awe before finally getting off the bed, changing into my clothes while a shell shocked Emmett stared down at the incriminating picture that meant that he was destined for a life of salt and pepper hair.

Once I was dressed, we left the hospital, me guiding Emmett toward home. On our walk, he stared down at the pictures when suddenly he flipped to the one of the profile again and froze, a smile creeping across his face.

"She has Bella's nose," he whispered, staring down at her profile. I looked again to see he was right, her profile did favor Bella's. "And look at her fingers. They're so perfect." He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Wow Rose, we're having a little girl. I can't believe it!"

I smiled and reached up to wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him as closely as I could with my now protruding stomach beginning to get in the way. I knew he'd snap out of it before too long and be happy; it just would take a while for him to come to terms with some of his fears first.

That night we invited everyone over for a celebratory dinner where Emmett passed out pink bubble gum cigars and began strategizing with the rest of the guys for the best ways to keep boys as far away as possible once she hit puberty.

Everyone stared at the pictures for a long time. Alice and Jasper kept cocking their heads swearing that they couldn't make any of it out and asking if it was like one of those 3D images where you have to relax your eyes and wait for the image to pop out at you. Andy and Andrea looked at it a while and then passed it on with little interest, but the most interesting were Edward and Bella.

They both stared at the picture for a long time. Edward whispered something to Bella. She picked up the profile picture and shrugged, but I thought I saw her wipe a tear away a bit later. She kept glancing from the picture to my stomach and back again, like she was trying to link the reality of the picture to the fact that the image was growing inside of me and would soon be her niece.

Edward, however, had a look of almost sadness and longing as he stared at the profile, smiling softly. I recognized that look. I had carried it for many years, and I knew with what Bella was facing with her upcoming residency, that it would be at least four or five more years before she would be in any place to start having babies with him. My heart ached for him, but at the same time, it would definitely be better for them to wait until they were both in a place to be ready. It was one of the hazards of dating someone younger. In four years, she would be where he was now, and in a better place for children. Until then, he would just have to enjoy his niece and let that be enough.

It's kind of funny when you think about it. I always knew Edward would be an uncle figure in my child's life if I ever had one with Emmett, but the first time I met him, I never dreamed he would actually end up legally becoming the child's uncle. I had known them several months before I started seeing the undeniable bond between Edward and Bella. Edward was stubborn though, completely refusing to acknowledge it, but it was always there. I was so glad when they finally figured it out, and then, once they did, everything moved at warp speed. While it would have been too fast for most couples, it was perfect for the two of them because they already had a bond that most couples work ages to create. They were definitely one of those that were meant to be from the beginning.

The joy surrounding the discovery that we were having a baby girl was short lived though. The anniversary of Charlie and Renee's death drew steadily closer. Emmett and I had just started dating a few months before the anniversary date last year. I remembered being so confused as to why the normally happy and cheerful Emmett got so sad and withdrawn the closer we got to Valentine's Day.

At first, I had thought that he was questioning his relationship with me and that maybe he wasn't in the same place I was. He did all the right things for our first Valentine's Day: chocolates, a soft cuddly teddy bear, dinner, dancing, flowers, the whole shebang. It was nice, but somehow, he just wasn't all the way there with me, fully enjoying the time. He did his best, but he still wasn't Emmett.

The next day, I sat him down, telling him that if he didn't want me then he needed to tell me sooner rather than later. That was when he broke down for the first time in front of me and cried, telling me about his parents death and how hard it was dealing with becoming a full blown adult with the responsibility for a sixteen year old and working to support them while finishing college.

He had the option of letting social services place her. They even said that they could place her with friends of the family in town, but he just didn't feel right about it. He felt like she needed him. He wanted to be there for her, and honestly, he needed her too. They were the only family left and they had to stick together. He told me all about the weekend that they died, how Bella blamed herself, and how hard the day was for them every year. They had even made a tradition, they would both take the anniversary day off every year and Edward would drive down with them to visit their parents' grave and pay their respects. Others had gone with them a time or two, but most years it was just the three of them.

I offered to go along last year, but Emmett said that it was probably best if I didn't. Bella and I were still not very comfortable around each other and he didn't want her to not be able to do what she needed to do for their parents on that day. I was a bit resentful. At that point in time, I still didn't truly understand the bond between Emmett and Bella. I was jealous of how close they were and how much time he spent with her throughout the week. It didn't take long before that changed, but that first year I waved as they pulled away from the curb after kissing Emmett goodbye, feeling a bit bitter that the brat had kept me from being there with Emmett like he needed.

Of course now with the knowledge and understanding I have of Emmett and Bella, I realize it was immature of me to react that way. This year everything had changed. We had all arranged to have the day off, which led right up to a weekend. We were taking advantage of the timing by making a long weekend of it so Emmett and Bella could take us around the area and show us where they grew up and things they used to do for fun. They warned us it would be pretty boring, but honestly, I was excited to get the chance to get to know the Emmett from downstate.

The tradition had always been up to this point that Edward would go along with Emmett and Bella. They would drive down for a day trip in Edward's car and then come back that evening, but since we had so many, we arranged to rent a minivan instead. So the morning of February 19th, Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and I, along with overnight bags, snacks, and drinks, loaded up in our rented Dodge Grand Caravan and made our way down I55 toward Lincoln.

Those of us along for the ride for the first time watched in morbid fascination as Emmett, Bella, and Edward automatically slipped into all of the things they always did on these trips. It was like a strange ballet. First of all, Bella always drove down. It started off as a way for her to practice driving every year. On the way down, she was usually okay to drive, but typically Edward drove on the return trip.

The car was eerily quiet as we drove through the city. Once we were beyond the heavy traffic, Emmett reached up and plugged in an iPod, starting a playlist that I saw was labeled Swan Song. Most of the songs were from the late 90's and early 2000's. I assumed they were songs that reminded them both of the times they spent with their parents before their death in 2002. When we reached Joliet, Edward pulled out three bags of peanut M&M's that they each took and then tossed a bag to us so the rest of us could join in the tradition before Dr. Peppers were passed around to all as well.

No words were spoken between the three as we drove down the interstate, but every once in a while, I would notice Bella's posture would straighten. Her knuckles would grow white on the steering wheel before she would reach out toward Emmett who would reach over without even looking her way and take her hand. They would hold tightly until finally Bella would relax and they would let go and go back to eating their snacks and drinking their drinks.

When we passed the exit for Pontiac, Edward passed out salt and vinegar potato chips with another round of drinks. Bella looked at Emmett and smiled. Edward reached forward and rubbed Bella's shoulders gently before settling back in his seat. I glanced over my shoulder at Alice and Jasper in the back seat. They looked at me and shrugged slightly before leaning against one another again and opening their chips to eat in silence.

The further south we got, the more intense the music became. During a few songs, I noticed it was Emmett who reached over as Bella reached out, giving her support. It was one of the many times I had seen a physical example of the give and take of their relationship. It was something that had taken me nearly six months to finally understand, when I began to see Bella as something other than a drain on the man I loved.

_Emmett and I had another date that ended earlier than I wanted. I begged him to come back to my place and stay the whole night, but he refused. He said he wanted to stay, but he really needed to get back to Bella. He hadn't spent any time with her that week and wanted to touch base with her. I got mad and went off on him before watching him finally get sick of me and walk into his building with his fists balled tightly._

_I turned and started to storm away back to my car, but then I thought better of it. I turned back to go into his building. I was sick of this shit, deciding it was time I called the brat out on her selfish behavior. I was on a mission as I stormed my way toward their apartment. I stopped outside of the door collecting myself before I raised my hand to knock._

_I reached my hand forward, but when my hand met the door, it opened a sliver on its own. Suddenly I could hear the sounds of voices coming from inside the apartment._

"_Emmett, you know I love you, but you need to stop this. I know you care about Rosalie and you should go be with her. I'm fine."_

_I watched through the sliver as she reached out, forcing him to look up at her. He looked so damn guilty._

"_Bells, I promised to look out for you. I don't like abandoning you all of the time."_

_She shook her head. "Emmett, you aren't abandoning me. You have given up way too much for me. It's time for you to go live your life. Besides, the revolving door on this place between Edward, Jazz, Andy, and the rest of the guys doesn't even give me much privacy; much less give me a chance to feel abandoned. I want you to go; don't be afraid to love somebody. You deserve it, and honestly, I think this girl is good for you. Now you go apologize and take some pajamas with you. I'll see you in the morning."_

_Emmett reached over and hugged her. She smiled sweetly at him. "Love you, Bells."_

"_Love you too, Brother Bear," she said with a strong affection in her voice. I turned away, feeling like the massive bitch that I really was, and went home. Fifteen minutes later, a contrite Emmett was standing at my door. I pulled him in and apologized for how I had acted, realizing that I didn't need to be jealous of Bella. She loved him too and she wanted what was best for him. The amazing man that was standing in my room had so much love in his heart that he would give up just about anything for his baby sister, and that kind of unwavering devotion would never be a bad trait to have in a mate._

They held hands a long time. I glanced at Edward, asking without words if I could comfort Emmett too. He nodded. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Emmett's shoulders. He leaned his head against my arm and sighed. After a while, he finally relaxed, letting go of Bella's hand and bringing it up rub along my arm, before kissing it and thanking me.

When we reached a small town called McLean, we stopped at a truck stop. Emmett fueled up with gas while Bella got out and went inside. It was then that Edward turned around. He thanked us for cooperating so willingly and promised they would explain everything later, before telling us we would be eating lunch at the truck stop. Alice gasped in horror. Alice had a hard enough time eating at a chain restaurant, much less a greasy spoon truck stop.

"Alice, please don't make a scene or be difficult here. This is an important part of the whole ritual. They would drive up here as a family late at night and eat on rare occasions when everything in Lincoln was closed when Charlie was working odd shifts, so they could have family dinners together without Renee cooking at one in the morning. Bella always got fried mushrooms and French Vanilla Cappuccino, so don't get all disgusted when she orders it. They're going to be quiet at first, but then they'll loosen up and start telling stories. Lincoln is only about twenty minutes away. This is like the last step in getting themselves prepared before we get there. I'll be driving the rest of the way."

We all nodded and got out to follow the siblings inside. Once we broke through the silence, it was actually the most comfortable part of the trip to that point. The more they talked, the more Bella and Emmett came out of their shells. They laughed as they remembered pranks they pulled on their mother, or silly things their Dad did. They usually had no problem sharing stories that just involved the two of them, but a lot of the stories involving Charlie and Renee were new to all of us besides Edward. He just sat, beaming down at Bella with his arm behind her on the chair, a bright smile on his face. I got the distinct impression that this was his favorite part of the trip as well.

There was something I was pretty sure was a new part of the experience for them though. The first time Edward leaned down to kiss her, she stiffened, but then she relaxed into the kiss. Then, he brought her engagement ring to his lips to kiss when she told a particularly emotional story about how Renee and Charlie first met and how he had proposed.

After about an hour and a half of reminiscing and eating artery clogging foods, we got back on the road with Edward in the driver's seat. Jasper took the passenger seat while Alice and I sat in the back seat. Emmett and Bella sat in the middle row captains chairs, holding hands the whole time.

Once we were back on the interstate, the music started getting more intense. I watched as all three of them began to focus on the road, their heads bobbing to the music. I was instantly taken back to my high school days when I was a cheerleader and watched the football team get focused for a game. The whole team would sit silently in the lunchroom while the coaches went over their clip boards as driving beats of rock metal music would blare through the boom box on one of the tables. I had to suppress a laugh as I realized that all of these years, the boys were helping Bella prepare in the only way they knew how. They were preparing for battle with their emotions, focusing for the draining fight ahead, giving her the only tools that twenty year old boys in college had to cope with stressful situations that could be passed on to a young impressionable teenage girl.

Soon, we reached several exits for Lincoln, taking the one that seemed to have the most restaurants and motels around it. We pulled into a Best Western where Edward went to check us in. He had Jasper help him carry in our luggage. Alice and I stayed in the car with Emmett and Bella as they sat still as statues. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around Emmett's shoulders again. He looked up and smiled at me gently before glancing back over at Bella sadly. She looked up at him and then over at me and smiled lightly at me with a nod, as though she was thanking me. I really wished I knew what to do, but I didn't. Alice leaned forward and placed her hand on Bella's shoulder to comfort her as well. The four of us sat in silence until the other two men returned to take us to our next destination...the cemetery.

**BPOV**

As we pulled through the small winding roads that snaked their way through the old cemetery, my memories flashed to the forefront of my mind like short movies playing in my head. I was so out of it the day we laid my parents to rest, that my memory is hazy and full of strange details that you would never expect to come into sharp relief during such traumatic circumstances.

_I remembered the sickeningly sweet smell of the floral arrangements that permeated the funeral home. Emmett and I stood numbly by the caskets, shaking hands and accepting hugs from the streams of people coming in and out of the room. Some we knew, like my parents' friends and church members, and others we didn't recognize at all. It didn't matter the familiarity though, their attempts to soothe and comfort us were a lost cause. We were now alone. We had no other family to lean on or to even stand with us and greet the guests. The last of our family, besides our parents, had been our Grandma Marie who had Alzheimer's so badly that she didn't even know who we were at the end before she died three years earlier...all we had now was each other._

_We stood for what seemed like hours, shaking hands and accepting hugs as I tried not to look over at their pale lifeless bodies, posed unnaturally in the dark caskets. It was just all so wrong. I kept hoping that it was all just a nightmare and any minute I would wake up._

_Toward the end of the second hour, my strength began to wane. I knew I couldn't keep this up much longer. I only had half an hour left and then I could sit down for the service and wouldn't have to hold my bodyweight up any longer. Sensing my lack of strength and that I was losing my balance, Emmett reached over, grabbing my hand and encouraging me to lean on him as he continued to shake hands with his free arm. Thankfully, the guests were observant enough to see that I was no longer in any shape to greet anyone._

_When the boys entered the room, I could feel the shift in Emmett's body immediately. His muscles relaxed slightly and his voice seemed a little lighter, full of a bit more life than it had that morning. I gazed at the attractive men who all clasped supportive hands on Emmett's shoulder, giving him words of encouragement that actually seemed to make him feel a bit more comforted._

_I noticed their gazes flickering to me. Emmett jumped a bit, realizing that we had never met. Mom and Dad had gone up to visit several times, but I hadn't been able to go up yet or meet any of his college friends. He introduced me. They all looked at me and smiled so sweetly that I couldn't help but smile back. It wasn't bright and it wasn't cheerful, but I wanted to convey to them in some small way how much I appreciated them coming so far and helping my brother in a way that nobody else could._

_Soon we were ushered to our seats by the funeral director and the service began. Emmett and I held hands as the pastor from Mom's church spoke. I didn't really hear much of what he said besides something about a home without pain or sorrow and being at peace. I hoped he was right._

_Emmett's friends stayed by our sides as we were led to the casket to say goodbye one last time before the caskets would be closed and we would never see our parents' faces in the flesh again. I felt the desire to sob, melt by their sides, and not let the men take them away, but nothing came. I just felt hollow. I felt like I had died right along with them._

_Everything else was a blur as we made our way to the cemetery for the graveside service. I focused on the snow under my feet as we fumbled our way from the cars to the plot where my parents would be laid to rest. We had about two inches of snow fall the night before the funeral, followed by sub zero overnight and early morning temperatures, leaving the snow stiff with a firm crust along the top of the white blanket covering the ground. With each step, the snow would resist your weight for a fraction of a second before it would give way under your foot with a loud crunch, allowing you to sink through the two inches of softer flakes below the crusty upper layer._

_So instead of the two caskets hovering above the holes in the ground on the belt contraption that was soon to lower them into the darkness below, or the blue tent that fluttered in the breeze as it whipped past us, or the mountains of flowers piled behind the caskets and all around them, I focused on the crunch of the snow under my boot and the sting of the icy wind on my face. Anything was better than focusing on the fact that we were about to lower my parents' bodies into the ground forever._

We pulled to a stop on the side of the tiny road just a couple of dozen feet from where our mom and dad rested under a large gray granite headstone with our last name written in large letters, two mated swans nuzzling at the top. The scene was so like that first day and yet so different. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground and on the tops of the stones, just enough to create a pretty white blanket, but not so much as to make you sink when you walked upon it.

We all stepped out. Rosalie gripped onto Emmett's arm as I clutched at Edward's. We made our way toward the plot with Jasper and Alice walking silently behind us. When we were almost up to where they lay, I reached my hand out the same moment Emmett did. We grasped them between us and squeezed tightly. Just like every year, we were here to pay our respects together, as was our tradition. On the anniversary of their death, every single year, Emmett and I would come down accompanied by Edward and visit their grave...only this year so much had changed...our lives were completely different.

We all stood in silence for a moment before I let go of Edward and Emmett. I stepped forward to brush the snow off of the top and sides of their gravestone before laying the bouquet of white Casablanca lilies on the ledge along the bottom under their names, another tradition since they were our mother's favorite.

I knelt down in front of the stone, tracing their names with my gloved fingers, and sighing as a tune bubbled up from my chest that was echoing in my mind. I soon felt Emmett beside me as he draped his arm over my shoulder and kissed my temple.

"What are you humming, Bella? It's familiar, but I can't place it."

I sighed, "It's a song stuck in my head, just the chorus mainly. So much is changing, the world just keeps on spinning, and they're missing it all, Em. I'm a doctor about to enter my residency and am engaged to be married, you're married and about to become a Dad, our whole life is moving on and they're not getting to see any of it."

Emmett sighed next to me, kissing my temple again, and rubbing my arm gently. "Sing it for me, Bells."

I swallowed thickly as I began to sing the Weepies song _World Spins Madly On._

_Woke up and wished that I was dead  
With an aching in my head  
I lay motionless in bed  
I thought of you and where you'd gone  
and let the world spin madly on_

My voice cracked on the last two lines and I instantly felt Edward drop down beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing my temple gently, and running his hand up and down my back. Emmett seemed to remember the song and began to sing along as I began the second verse.

_Everything that I said I'd do  
Like make the world brand new  
And take the time for you  
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn  
And the world spins madly on_

Our voices drifted off into the cold air as we ended the verse together with small sniffles coming from everyone in the group. My cheeks were stained with tears, but at the same time, I felt a bit of warmness in my heart. I wasn't alone, I would never be alone. I would never have my parents to hold me and tell me they loved me again, but that didn't mean that I wasn't surrounded by more love than I could ever deserve.

Edward stayed by my side on the ground as I remained kneeling there, one hand around Edward's waist, and the other holding tightly to Emmett's hand. Jasper and Alice quietly wandered back toward the car. After a while, Emmett sniffled one more time, kissed his hand, and laid it on the stone between our parents' names, mumbling that he loved and missed them. He gave my hand one more squeeze, kissing the top of my head, before walking back with Rosalie tucked into his side, leaving just Edward and I in front of the stone.

Edward offered to give me a little privacy, but I shook my head, gripping him tighter as I stayed there, taking long deep breaths of the cold air that stung my lungs a bit with each inhale. After a few deep breaths, I kissed my hand and reached it out to touch the stone where Emmett just had. I started to talk just as I did every year. They might not be able to hear, but I still made a point of telling them about my life every year when I came. Typically, the boys would walk away and give me privacy while I told my parents about school, friends, relationships, and more than once, my unrequited feelings for Edward.

"Hi Mom, hi Dad...I hope that you really are in a better place like the minister said. There's a lot to tell you this year. I guess I should start off with the best news. You know how I've told you all about Edward and how much I care about him, but he never felt the same way about me? Well guess what; he did feel the same way. We're actually together now, and not only that, he asked me to marry him."

I felt Edward's arms tighten around me as his face tucked into my neck. He kissed it gently, causing me to smile.

"We're talking about getting married mid August. We're going to do it at the awesome summer house that belongs to Carlisle and Esme that I told you we spend our summer vacation visiting. I think it would be ideal and Edward agrees. I even have a famous designer friend of Esme's custom designing a dress just for me."

I giggled, pulling one of his hands up to kiss, and then clutched both of his between mine when the realization hit that he didn't have any gloves on and must be freezing. I rubbed them between mine as I continued to talk.

"If Edward had it his way, we'd be getting married right now I think," He laughed and mumbled 'damn straight' in my ear. I rolled my eyes before continuing, "but August just makes more sense because we get that whole month off from med school. It's not going to be big or anything, just us, our friends and family on the beach. I'm sort of thinking it should be at sunset."

I glanced over at Edward who was smiling widely at me. He nodded, kissing my nose.

"Also, the other amazing news is that Emmett's going to be a Dad soon. I can't imagine him having a baby. The doctors say it's a girl. Can you imagine that? Emmett with a daughter, it's going to be great fun to watch. I'm hoping you can keep an eye on us and see for yourself from wherever you are right now because it's going to be a sight for sure."

I ran one hand over their names again as I continued to recap the last year, the good and the bad, before finally wrapping it up and moving to stand. Edward stood up, offering me a hand, which I took gratefully since my legs were feeling a little stiff from kneeling on the cold ground for so very long.

I stood, looking down at their grave one more time, whispering my last goodbyes. I felt two warm arms surround me from behind around my waist as Edward's head rested on my shoulder. He kissed my neck gently before whispering into my ear while rocking me gently from side to side.

"I didn't recognize it at the time, but I think I know the moment I fell in love with you. I met you for the first time during the visitation at the funeral home. I still remember the first time I saw you in person. I thought that you were so beautiful and the pictures Emmett had of you did you little justice. Your eyes looked so sad. You were clinging to Emmett's side, resting your head on his arm as though you couldn't stand up anymore. We walked up to the two of you. Emmett introduced us and even in your pain, you managed a smile at us. It was warm and beautiful. I remember thinking that you were something different, something special…but that wasn't when I fell in love with you."

I turned around in his embrace to look at him as he spoke, my eyes filling with tears that began to trickle down my cheeks. He paused and smiled at me sweetly, wiping away the escapees as he continued.

"I fell in love with you right here, at your parent's graveside service. You were sitting in the front row, wearing a black turtleneck sweater dress under a gray wool dress coat, the sides of your hair pinned back with little silver butterfly clips that you later told me were your mother's. I watched you and Emmett as the minister spoke. You looked so drained and fragile. My instincts made me want to go hold you up to keep you from falling over. The icy wind was blowing right into the side of the tent we were under, making your hair blow across your neck and face. You didn't even have the impulse to push it out of your way…you just sat there like a beautiful sad statue lost in your own world of mourning."

He caressed my cheek gently, kissing my forehead before pulling me to his chest. I rested my ear over his sternum with closed eyes, the memories sparking to the surface as he recounted the story. I rested against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as he continued to talk.

"After the minister finished, the people began to file out. We stayed behind to support Emmett as he got up and walked over to your Dad's casket. When they began to lower it into the ground, he dropped to his knees and started crying. Well, not just crying, he totally lost it. He was as close to hysterical as I have ever seen him. He'd been so strong through the whole thing, but in that moment, he was a far cry from the strong lighthearted guy we all knew and loved. We all stood there, dumbfounded, having no clue what to do, as we stared helplessly at his back. Then I saw it…you looked up and suddenly, you snapped out of your mourning. You walked across the small space separating the two of you."

He drew large comforting circles on my back. I could feel his shirt under my face growing damp from the fresh tears that came as my mind replayed the scene as he told it from his perspective.

"You looked like an angel, your face so caring, you hair blowing behind you in the wind, waving and flowing down your back. You stepped to Emmett's side and rested your hand on his arm, rubbing it gently. He turned to look at you as you ran your hand through his hair. None of us heard what you said, but he suddenly relaxed and reached over, pulling you into a tight hug, resting his cheek against your stomach. For the first time that day, your roles reversed as you held him up, rubbing his back and whispering comforting things to him, giving him hope. You continued to stroke his hair and whisper in his ear until finally his sobs slowly dried up. He slowly stood up, watching them lower your mother's casket into the ground after they finished your father's. You held each other, supporting each other equally, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen."

He tipped my face up to lock gazes with me as his fingers caressed my cheekbone gently, wiping away the moisture once more.

"**You** were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I instantly began to struggle with the desire to walk over, hold you close, and never let go. You were far too young and innocent, underage at the time. Beyond all that though, even though I didn't even really know you yet, I knew deep down in my heart that you deserved so much better than me. Even if I refused to look into doing anything about it, I knew that I was screwed up when it came to life and love. My birth mother had fucked me up beyond all repair. I had resolved myself to the fact that I would never be whole, but that didn't keep me from being drawn to you, wanting you in ways I didn't understand at the time."

He leaned down, resting his forehead to mine with a wide smile and watery eyes of his own.

"And all of these years later, nothing has changed…nothing except the fact that I now know that I am nothing without you. You are everything to me. You are the part of me that I had been missing for all of those years. You were right there in front of me, and I wouldn't let myself see it. I constantly hid from it, robbing myself of the most precious thing I could ever have."

He pulled back again, reaching down to pull my left hand up to his mouth. He kissed the engagement ring that he put on my ring finger Christmas morning.

"I'm done running now though, Bella. I woke up and I finally found what I needed, what I had been missing, and I have every intention of holding on to you for the rest of my life. I'm so happy that you've agreed to be my wife."

I smiled and ran my fingers up his shoulders and into his hair, "And I'm so glad you asked me. I love you so much, Edward. I always have. I can't say I fell in love with you that day, because to be honest, I was pretty much dead inside during that time, but I definitely noticed you. It wasn't long after before you owned my heart for good. Thank you for being here with me."

He leaned his forehead down again, kissing my lips gently. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, my love. It's been an honor to come back here every year with you and Emmett. I'm glad I could be here for both of you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my nose into it, pulling a deep lingering breath. I let it out slowly, peppering kisses up it gently, before whispering into his ear.

"I think it's time to go, baby." I felt him nod against my head before I released my grip on his neck. I wrapped myself around his right arm, gripping his hand tightly between both of mine. I paused to glance back at my parents' headstone one more time. "Goodbye Mom and Dad, I love you," I whispered before turning back to face the car, tugging gently on Edward's arm to indicate I was ready to go.

We walked slowly back to the group standing near the car, Rosalie whispering into Emmett's ear while smoothing circles along his bicep in comfort. Alice and Jasper stood closely, cuddling together for warmth, and whispering to one another. All four looked toward us as we approached with small smiles. I smiled back and nodded silently toward the car to which they all nodded back and began climbing back into the rented minivan.

We drove in silence as we left the cemetery and made our way back to our hotel to warm up and change out of our clothes since our pants all now had wet knees and legs.

_**Author's Note: I know, I know…I'm sorry. I promise the rest of the trip won't be quite so heart wrenching! There will be a few intense moments, but the rest of the trip will be a lot more fun as we see goofy Emmett and silly Bella.**_

_**In other news, it's official. I will be doing the Author's chat in the chatroom at The Writer's Coffee Shop on Wednesday December 30**__**th**__** at 7pm Eastern. Go check them out, sign up, and if you have the time come ask me questions and make me try to type at vampire speed in order to keep up with all the questions and comments! If you want to participate, you have to register. I'm nervous, but excited! Even if you don't join the writer's chat, still go check them out. It's a nice little community!**_

_**.**_


	48. Missing Piece of Bella & Emmett Puzzle

**Disclaimer: I don't own the original characters.**

_**Thanks to my guest Beta, AgoodWITCH, and my lovely Twilighted Jr. Validation Beta, Sassenach Wench for all the hard work.**_

_**Well I hope you guys enjoy this one. It was a bit harder to write than the last one for some reason. Anyway, all of the fun kid pranks in this chapter either I personally engaged in or observed someone engage in or know someone personally who did them. It was kind of fun to relive some of those. I'll give a breakdown at the end. If you live outside the US I apologize in advance because there will probably be a ton of cultural references here that you may or may not be familiar with. If you have questions then PM me and I'll try to explain. Hope you enjoy and please review!**_

**47. A Missing Piece of the Bella & Emmett Puzzle**

**BPOV**

It was still mid afternoon when we finally all emerged from our respective hotel rooms with dry jeans and sweatshirts ready to go back out into the cold to show everyone around. As we left the parking lot and drove through the main part of town, it felt so surreal to note all of the changes and yet all the things that had stayed the same. Emmett drove this time, abruptly turning off every once in a while to show everyone a place that he wanted to share.

We drove down several streets that held the houses of his old friends where he got plastered and did something stupid like tried to jump off the roof of the porch and twisted his ankle, or pulled the siding off the front of the garage when he tried to slam dunk a basketball on a home made hoop. My personal favorite, though, was the railroad viaduct that he and his friends tried to tag and totally got busted by our Dad. The half completed Railsplitter axe in honor of the football team still adorned the gray concrete, although it was now so faded that you could barely make out what it was supposed to be.

Yes we lived in Lincoln, Illinois, and thanks to this fact, our school 'mascot' was the Railsplitters, which was somehow in honor of President Lincoln. At least it was better than Clinton, they were the freaking Maroons. Who the hell makes their school color the actual mascot? Although I had even heard of worse than that in other parts of the state. It made me wonder if living in the armpit of the US caused all of us living in Illinois to lose all our creativity.

After weaving our way through town, we finally took route ten east for about five miles before we turned off onto the narrow blacktopped road that led to our childhood home. My heart clenched in my chest. In all the times we had come down to see our parents grave, we never drove out here to see the house, nor had we driven past the place where they crashed. The last time I had driven down this road was the day that the boys helped Emmett and I load everything into the Uhaul we could manage to bring with us for our move to Chicago into the apartment that he had rented for us.

As we drove along, I couldn't help but chuckle at the comments coming from Alice and Rosalie.

It's just so flat and open. I swear I'm becoming agoraphobic here," Alice squeaked from behind me. I got the distinct impression she had never really left the city at all.

"This place is a bit of a contradiction, after harvest through the winter and until the new crops grow in the spring, you can see for miles and miles, but once you hit early July the corn is so tall that you can't see hardly anything. It's like you're driving in a maze of six foot tall green walls all around you. You really have to be careful because the deer jump out of nowhere."

"Speaking of deer, look out there," Rosalie yelled and Emmett stopped in the middle of the deserted road so everyone could look where Rosalie was pointing. Out in the middle of the shorn stalks of corn, a family of deer slowly meandered through the stalks along a stretch of creek that bisected the farmland. The cityslickers all stared in wonder. Emmett turned around to smile at me with a twinkle in his eyes before winking.

We sat for about five minutes until something spooked the deer, who all turned, flashing their bright white tails at us as they disappeared into the clump of trees that stood on the far side of the field as a wind break.

"They're lucky deer hunting season ended last month or else I'm sure Mr. Mackey would have nabbed them the second they stepped into the woods. That is, if he still has his deer stand out there."

At the mention of people hunting the deer they just saw, everyone snapped their heads toward Emmett in horror. He just laughed and put the car back into gear. "You guys have never lived in the country so you wouldn't understand; it's as much a population control thing as anything. They eat the crops and they have a bad habit of jumping out in front of cars causing major damage and sometimes killing people. The higher the population, the worse it is. If the hunters do like any good hunter should, keep the meat and sell the hide to someone who would make good use out of it, I don't see any harm."

Rose and Alice shook their heads and looked sick, but the guys all nodded along in agreement. I just chuckled. I had grown up my whole life listening to my Dad debate the morality of hunting with my Mom. Emmett had obviously taken my Dad's finer points to heart.

As we drove toward the house, I felt my chest growing tighter with each foot. The distraction with the deer had been nice for the moment, but it couldn't take away the apprehension I was feeling as we neared the spot that forever changed our lives.

Edward and I were in the middle seats. I felt him reach over and run his hand down my arm before grasping my fingers in his. Jasper put his hand on my shoulder from behind me at the same time. They had both been here and helped move us the day that we left the only home we had ever known. They had both taken turns awkwardly holding me as I cried when we passed the spot and continued on our way.

I gasped for air as we crossed the intersection and saw a small white cross adorned with red roses sticking in the ground at the place where our dad's car had landed. Obviously someone who lived locally had taken the time to show their respect as well. Edward unbuckled his belt and knelt beside me on the floor of the van to wrap me in his arms. He ran his hand comfortingly through my hair.

"Are you okay, baby? Breathe, Bella, breathe for me, baby."

I looked into his eyes and focused on the green depths that were so full of love for me. I slowly regained control of my lungs and heart as I slowed the panic seeping through my muscles. Seconds later, we pulled into the driveway that led to the white two story farm house that we had spent the first decade and a half of my life in. Emmett threw open the sliding door on my side, leaning in to hug me, along with Edward.

"It's okay, Bella, it's okay...calm down, Bells."

I nodded and swallowed hard before I heard the door of the house open. Two little kids followed by a young looking woman with a baby on her hip came running down the driveway toward the car. I wiped at my eyes and looked again in shock when I realized that I knew the woman.

"Makenna? Oh my God, is that really you?" I called out hoarsely as I stepped out of the car. I walked toward her as she shifted the baby to her other hip, reacing her arm out to hug me.

"Yeah, Bella, it's me. Emmett called me last week when he found out I bought your old place with my husband. He asked if you all could stop in for old times sake. It's so good to see you, Silver Bells," she squealed at me.

I laughed. "You too MickeyD!"

She shook her head. "That doesn't work any more. My last name isn't Donovan, now it's Taylor."

"Taylor? Who did you marry?"

She smiled widely at me with a twinkle in her eye as she wiggled her eyebrows, "Chuck."

My mouth dropped open and my eyes grew wide. "You married Chuck Taylor as in high school quarterback, basketball forward, baseball pitcher, all around jock from two grades ahead of us, Chuck Taylor?"

She threw back her head and laughed. "Not to mention, very sweet and caring husband, and father, turned Fireman, Chuck Taylor."

In my excitement to see my friend, I had totally forgotten everyone who came with me. I shook my head and apologized before I began introducing the group.

"You know Emmett, of course," she smiled up at him.

"Of course, how could I forget Emmett of the Minute Swan!" He chuckled at the old nickname and shook his head at a confused looking Rosalie.

"And this beautiful woman looking at him in confusion is his wife, and soon to be mother of his first born, Rosalie."

Rose reached out to shake Makenna's hand with a smile before beaming down at the little girl perched on her hip, reaching out to take her hand as well.

I motioned toward Alice and Jasper next, introducing them as they all exchanged handshakes. Then I grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him to my side, wrapping my arms around him, and staring up with a smile.

"And this is my fiancé, Edward. Edward, this was my very best friend from Lincoln, Makenna."

"Oh yeah, I remember you. You helped us pack everything up when we moved them. It's nice to see you again," Edward cheered as he reached out to shake Makenna's hand. She stared up at him with a glazed expression.

"Wait a minute," she finally said shifting her eyes to me, "you mean you're marrying the hottie that you had the crush on all those years ago?"

Edward chuckled and everyone else laughed loudly as I nodded my head with a smile so wide my cheeks were aching.

"Wow! Well good for you, sister! Looks like we both ended up lucking out!"

I nodded, "Speaking of, where is the illustrious Mr. Taylor?"

She sighed, "On a 48 hour shift at the firehouse. They have to stay there while on call, so we won't see him until tomorrow night. It's a shame really. Hey, why don't you all come inside, it's freezing out here! I'll make us some hot chocolate and coffee and we can warm up while we catch up."

"Sounds good."

She turned back toward the house, leading the way as she called out to the two small boys running in the back yard chasing one another squealing.

"Jake, Shane, time to go back inside!"

"Awe Mom, do we have to?" The both called in unison and it was then I realized that they were twins. I hadn't been paying close enough attention to notice before. Makenna nodded, then groaned and turned to sprint toward the front door.

"Holy crap, Mickey, you have twins? Geez, I am so far out of the loop. I lost track of everybody once I started college!"

She chuckled, "Yep, they turn four August 12th, and this little one here will be one in a month."

I shook my head in amazement. I couldn't even begin to imagine having two three year olds and a one year old right now. I was doing good to keep up with my 27 year old!

She offered for us to settle in the living room. I looked around in a kind of sad awe at the room. It was so familiar, yet seemed so strange to have someone else's furniture in the room. The walls were a new more vibrant color that I actually really liked. I noticed the pictures hanging along the staircase and got up to go look at the freeze frame shots of Makenna and Chuck's wedding and the family pictures throughout the years. They looked so content in their life. It made me happy to know that this house was once again full of kids and a happy family.

I was still wandering, looking at the pictures on the walls, when Makenna came back in with only the baby. She sat her in the pack n play in the corner of the room, where the tiny girl sat happily, playing with the toys inside the small colorful piece of baby gear, which I assumed was probably pretty invaluable. Suddenly I knew what I was buying Emmett and Rose as a baby gift.

"So, how long have you guys owned the old homestead?" Emmett asked from his place on the loveseat next to Rose.

"It went back on the market right after we got married, so we've been here a little over four years now. It seemed like fate that it went up for sale just as we needed it and I just wanted it so much. We had so many happy memories here and I just wanted my kids to grow up playing out here just like we did."

I nodded as memories of running around in the back fields with Makenna from the time we met in kindergarten on until we were gangly teenagers trying to tag along with Emmett and his friends when they returned from college. She and I had spent countless happy days here together playing and plotting our next prank on my parents or my brother. It would be a great place to raise a family and I felt the slightest bit jealous that she was going to get to do that in the place that had meant so much to me, but at the same time I was also happy that someone was here who knew how great this place really was.

"Matter of fact," she continued on after a brief pause, "We kept the playhouse just as it was when we were kids for the boys. Wanna come see?"

Emmett and I were up immediately as I squealed a little. I had almost forgotten about the room we had claimed in the basement that we had always called our playhouse. We walked down the narrow wooden staircase to the corner of the basement where the tiny elevated door led to the section under the new addition that had been encased in concrete for extra storage. It also had a tiny window that opened to the outside if we wanted.

There were a brand new set of stairs that went up to the small door that opened into our room. We discovered the space when Makenna and I were seven. Emmett was already too big to squeeze through the door and be able to maneuver in the small space, so we claimed it as our own. We put up curtains and Dad made us a small table and chairs which were all still waiting in the space that had now been invaded with hot wheels and toy monster trucks, but it was still so neat to see the space being used by kids again.

The boys all checked it out briefly with quiet interest, but Alice and Rosalie got all excited talking about how cool it would be to have something like that for the baby when she gets old enough. We stood around, sharing a few stories about how we used to hide from Emmett in the room until one day when he got tired of trying to get to us. He finally tossed a stink bomb through the door and slammed it closed to force us out. The guys got a particular kick out of that one.

It had taken over a week to get the stink not only out of the playhouse, but since one of the main heat ducts piped through that space, the whole house reeked of it as well. Nothing we did could get rid of it completely. Emmett got stuck on dish duty for a solid month after that stunt.

After a while, we returned to the living room and sat around reminiscing. The city kids were especially interested in the concept of cow tipping. They had all thought it was simply some kind of myth that you could push a sleeping cow and it would fall down to the ground on its side. If it's a single person, then it isn't possible, but if you get the entire offensive line of the Lincoln High School football team into a field full of bovines, you can most definitely tip not one but multiple cows... and they even had photos to prove it!

The one that really shocked them was the stories Makenna and I shared of our early driving days. Makenna had gotten her license during our Sophomore year. I didn't get mine until September of our Junior year, just enough time for me to get four good months of wreaking havoc on the streets of Lincoln before I moved. Even Emmett hadn't heard all the stories we shared that day.

He laughed as we told about taking our cars out in the fancy subdivisions to find an empty cul-de-sac where we would turn the wheel as far to the left as we could and would hit the gas spinning in circles before straightening out and dashing out of the circle and back up the street. Yeah, it was potentially dangerous, but it was so much fun, like riding a rollercoaster at an amusement park or something.

His attitude changed as our stories got more and more extreme. I seriously thought he was actually going to strangle me when he discovered Mickey and I had raced two cars full of our guy friends and their girlfriends through the streets at the edge of Lincoln and out into the country. Makenna had been driving that night and I was riding shotgun. When we were out on a straight stretch in the country, the guys pulled up on either side of us and we drove three abreast for about half a mile before I shouted to Makenna to actually step on it and leave them in the dust. A second later she smashed the pedal on her red Chevy Z34 and we left the black Ford Tempo and then Silver Nissan Sentra in the dust. I leaned out the window as we raced down the country roads at nearly 100 miles per hour to yell and throw my hand in the air giving them the double bird, before Mickey swerved. I fell back into the car, bumping my head along the way, giving me a huge knot on my noggin. Looking back now, it's a wonder I didn't get a concussion...who knows...maybe I did!

I looked around, and while Emmett fumed with his hands clenched into fists on his legs, the others stared at me like I was an alien. This Bella they were hearing about was a far cry from the one they all knew and loved.

"What?" I asked shrugging at them. "Lincoln Bella was pretty young and fearless. Losing your parents in a car accident tends to put the fear of death in you, but there was a time I thought, like most teenagers, that I was invincible."

"Isabella Marie, you're lucky you didn't get yourself killed," Emmett seethed quietly from his seat next to a worried looking Rose, who was trying to calm him down.

"I know, Embear, it was stupid. I recognize that now at 23, but if you're honest it wasn't any more dangerous than your CARSURFING now was it?" I retorted back.

He groaned, running his hands over his face when I brought up how he and his friends used to climb on top of the roof of their cars and stand up to surf while one of the other guys drove at breakneck speeds down country roads. You know that thing about pastor kids being the wildest ones of the bunch? Yeah...the same goes for cop kids.

"Just because I did stuff didn't mean you had to. You should have known better!"

I snorted and everyone else chuckled too. "Sure, Em, like I wasn't going to pick up a trick or two after watching you. I totally idolized you. You really didn't think I would try out some of your pranks?"

He sighed, "Guess not."

I laughed and winked. "Just remember that, now that you're going to have a little one adoring you and watching your every move. You will be an even bigger role model for her than you were me...so you'll have to watch yourself and clean up your language. That is, unless you want your three year old running around yelling the f-bomb in the middle of the grocery store."

He groaned as the rest of us chuckled, because we could totally see that happening. It was so great catching up with Makenna. After a bit more visiting, and a trip up to my old room which was now the nursery for her baby girl, Makayla, she told us to take a walk along the property before we left.

Emmett and I rushed down that path toward the back pasture as everyone else tried to catch up. Eventually, we ended up in an all out race to get to the back, but just as always, Emmett beat me by a mile. It's not like he wasn't always at least a foot taller than me, then add in the fact that he was always in some sort of sport that kept his stamina and speed up. All those things added together, plus my innate clumsiness, meant that I never once in my life beat my brother in any kind of race.

Alice was next to catch up to us as Edward and Jasper followed along assisting Rosalie to make sure she didn't fall. Thanks to her current shift in her center of gravity, she had begun to appear even clumsier than me.

We showed them the old shooting range and the barn where we used to play, surprised to find that our old rope still hung from the rafters where we used to jump out of the hayloft and swing down to the floor below. Mom and Dad were so oblivious. When we first hung it, we claimed it was just to climb up and down on. They never had a clue that we used it to swing like Tarzan all around the room. Emmet would even use it to bounce off of the walls.

Once we finished walking around and showing our loved ones our childhood home, we forlornly climbed back into the van after I hugged Makenna goodbye, promising to keep in touch better. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses before we drove away to return to town. Emmett purposefully took the long way through the back roads to avoid going back by the spot that the accident happened, much to my relief.

I turned and watched the house disappear behind us. It was bittersweet going back to the home of my youth. It was strange to see how much changed. I still found myself expecting to see Mom or Dad show up at some point while we were there. It was fun to relive some of those childhood memories that I hadn't let myself really think about in such a long time. While it was hard to see that life in our old home continued on without us, it was also good to know that people who knew its history took care of the homestead now.

It was starting to get dark as we hit the city limits. We started debating on where we wanted to eat. Poor Alice was going to have a rough time on this trip; the most upscale place I knew of to eat in Lincoln was Cracker Barrel. Finally, we decided that after the long day we should go back to the hotel, order pizza, go hit the indoor pool for a while, and just chill out. It sounded like the perfect idea to me. I was completely drained.

**EPOV**

To say it was an emotional day for everyone would be a massive understatement. Emmett and Bella were of course hit hardest, but it was nearly as hard for Rosalie and I to watch the people we loved suffering so much. Their pain was our pain and it was hard being helpless to stop it. All we could do was be there to comfort and support them and we both did our best.

Once we got back to the hotel, I offered to order the pizzas and take care of paying and getting them out to the pool area, telling Bella and Emmett to go down and relax in the Jacuzzi while the rest of us took care of everything else.

The second they were gone, there was a knock at the door to the room I was sharing with Bella. I opened it and walked away as I began ordering the five pizzas, breadsticks, and two liters of soda that we had all decided on. The second the conversation ended, I turned around to see Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie all sitting on our bed, dressed in swimsuits with towels wrapped around their waists or shoulders, waiting expectantly for me to sort a few details for them.

The first and biggest question was to explain the ritual. I went on to tell them the story of the first year we made the trip down and how hard it had been on all of us, but especially Bella. She had no coping mechanisms whatsoever and cried the whole way down and back. Emmett and I felt helpless. Once we got home, we talked about it and began making a plan on how to slowly get them mentally prepared for what they would deal with as they came down.

First off, Bella drove to distract her and keep her driving skills up. Then, along the way, we would slowly bring out things that reminded them of their parents, Renee's favorite music or songs that they associated with their parents.

We picked a point, which happened to be Joliet, to start adding other things to help them start thinking more about their parents. Peanut M&M's were Renee's favorite, and the reason why Bella considered them movie treats because it was their mother/daughter day tradition to go see a movie and eat them while they watched. Emmett also had the same memories for family outings. Her favorite drink had been Dr. Pepper, so they drank that with it.

At Pontiac, we always broke out the salt and vinegar chips which were Charlie's staple junk food. Neither Bella nor Emmett could ever think of a time when they didn't have a bag of those chips in their house. Their dad ate them non stop. Charlie was a coffee drinker, but since we really didn't want to stop on the way down, we would just drink another Dr. Pepper to help tone down the tang of the chips.

McLean I had already explained. They understood, after seeing it now, why it was so important. The steps along the way softened the shock, opening the doors to bringing up the old memories and talking about them in a fun setting before being faced with their grave. It was crucial to the whole process.

The last twenty minutes were always my drive while the two of them would focus on getting ready for what was to come. Rosalie asked and she had been right, it was something that Emmett had done in football. It really did seem to help them, as much as anything could at least.

The rest of this trip had been just as new to me as it had them, so I had no further insight. We gathered our things and made our way down to the pool area, which was not far from the lobby. I watched as Rose, Alice, and Jasper joined Bella and Emmett in the pool. Emmett chased Bella from one end to the other as they both laughed loudly. I loved watching them together and was so glad that we made this trip an extended one so we could find out more about them and their life before we knew them in Chicago.

I stood in the hallway that connected the lobby and the pool area, looking back and forth between echoes of laughter and splashing, and the front door where I watched for the delivery boy. I thought about all the things I had already seen and learned on this trip. I couldn't help but smile at the memory of Bella's joy in showing us around her childhood home. It was like this last little sliver of the picture of Bella slid into place as I saw how well she fit into that place and the way she and Emmett sort of fell back into that mindset of children as they raced along the path to the back pasture.

I was staring toward the entry way, lost in my own thoughts, when suddenly a loud voice spoke up beside me making me jump.

"Oh fuck, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Emmett chirped as he ran the towel he was holding over his dripping hair, trying to dry it. "I was just coming to check on the pizza. I'm starving!"

I chuckled. "Still no delivery boy yet, Em. He should be here any minute now."

Emmett nodded, glancing back toward the pool area quickly, before leaning in closer and speaking to me in a quiet voice. "Hey, Edward, I was wanting to talk to you about something."

I turned toward him, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms. "Sure thing, man. What's up?"

He shuffled on his feet a bit, looking over his shoulder again before he turned back to me with serious eyes. "I was just wondering about your training place you're building and everything...will you be needing instructors?"

I smiled, feeling my shoulders relax. "Yes, I will, part of me was kind of hoping you and maybe some of the others might be interested."

Emmett sighed deeply, running his hands through his hair as he leaned against the wall next to me. He looked back toward the pool as he spoke. "Good, because I have to be honest, I'm not sure I would be able to keep going with SWAT much longer. With Rosie, and the baby, and everything that happened with you and Bella...I...I think I'm losing my edge, man. I'm holding on too tight. It's making my reaction time lag. Every time I have to go on a mission, even a minor one, I can't help but worry about orphaning my kid before she's ever even born. I need a safer job, but like you told me before, I don't know what I'd do. I can totally see myself becoming an instructor, though. I think it would be a perfect fit."

I nodded along in total understanding. "I agree wholeheartedly, man. I'd be honored to have you on board."

Emmett smacked me on the back with a big smile. "Thank you, man, thank you so much."

Just then the pizza delivery boy walked in. While I started dealing with paying the guy, Emmett managed to grab all of the pizzas and breadsticks, leaving me to carry in the drinks, and taking them in to the pool where he was met with yells of joy when the door opened. After I paid the kid, I picked up the two liters and carried them in with me to sit down and enjoy some relaxation with everyone.

After we ate, we all got into the pool and played around for the better part of the next three hours before finally calling it a night and shuffling up to our rooms, each of us totally exhausted. Tomorrow was going to be a bit of a surprise for Bella. I had arranged for us to rent a car just for us for the overnight. I was taking her down to Springfield for the night just to get some time alone. I had even rented us a themed suite that sounded fun, but I hoped wouldn't be tacky. It was hard to tell from the website...sometimes things weren't as nice as they seemed.

Bella and I cuddled together on the bed after a nice long shower to wash away the chlorine. Bella was asleep almost immediately. I was so glad that the day had gone as well as it had. She had certainly come a long way in the last seven years. She had grown from a beautiful, sweet, innocent girl into a stunning, brave, and amazing woman. I was so grateful that she was mine. I lay there for a long time, simply listening to her breathe and enjoying the feeling of her chest rising and falling next to me. She sighed in her sleep and curled closer, whispering gently in her sleep.

"Home"

She twisted her face, burying her nose in my neck, as she gripped my t-shirt in her fist and smiled. I smiled down at her and kissed her head before I fell asleep feeling complete. She was my home.

_Confession time. I personally took part in all of the crazy car episodes in this chapter, except carsurfing. Doing cul-de-sac circles in the fancy subdivisions was practically the highlight of the night for my friends and me in high school. We didn't drink or do drugs, so instead we went for the adrenaline high! LOL! My best friend and I also did the whole racing through town and driving three abreast in the country. Man, I look back and I seriously wonder how I'm still alive! Also the whole jumping out of the hayloft while hanging onto a rope from the rafters and swinging...my cousins and I did that one too. That was SO much fun!_

_**Cow tipping I personally observed, and while I didn't live in Lincoln, I did have a friend get busted with his friends tagging one of the railroad viaducts in the town we lived in. Carsurfing I never personally observed, but it was one of my brother-in-law's favorite teen pastimes with his friends. I never would have believed it if my hubby hadn't told me he saw it himself, because my B-I-L doesn't strike me as that type of person at all. I guess we all do crazy stuff as teens.**_

_**So now, just for fun, I'm going to take a page from several author's I've come across lately and ask you to share some of your crazy teen pranks/mischief just because I want to read some of the insane stuff other people did in high school. My friends and I were goody two shoes, so I'm sure my stories are pretty tame compared to what others have to share and I'm interested in seeing just how lame I really was! LOL! So please either review or PM me and share!**_


	49. Surprise, SURPRISE

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: Vampward was Stephenie's creation, Reformed Slutward is a creation of my crazy mind. None of the recognizable characters belong to me (dang it!).**

_**Thank you my guest beta AgoodWITCH for her expedient beta work and her little notes in the chapter that cracked me up. Also thanks to Sassenach Wench. I don't have too terribly much to say. **_

_**Sorry it took so long to get this up. I've been sick and also took the week of Christmas off from writing or editing completely. So this has been in a holding pattern until I felt well enough to get it corrected and posted. This is yet another pretty fluffy chapter, but trust me, the next chapter is going to get us back into some intensity. Hope you enjoy!**_

**Surprise, SURPRISE**

**EmPOV**

_My eyes popped open. I was laying in my bed in my old room in Lincoln. I groaned as I rolled over. I grabbed the pillow behind my head, burying my face underneath and groaning at the sun streaming in through the window and right across my face. I was still feeling the effects of the multiple beer bongs I had funneled the night before and was so not ready to face the day._

_The smell of bacon hit my nose and I groaned and sat up slowly wishing for the spinning to stop and yet completely unable to resist the lure of mom's bacon. I stretched and groaned again as I stood up to survey the chaos of boxes that now filled every corner of my room. Tomorrow I would be leaving for school. I was so fucking excited to get the hell out of this one horse town and take Chicago by storm._

_I sniffed the t-shirt thrown across the back of my chair and shrugged when it only had a slight hint of tang, but not enough to be totally putrid. I threw it over my head before sliding a fresh pair of basketball shorts on. I opened the door to come face to face with Bella as she and Makenna stepped out of her room._

"_God Emmett, you've worn that shirt for three days in a row. Haven't you ever heard of a thing called good hygiene?"_

_I grumbled about her being too loud. She rolled her eyes and sighed before bounding down the stairs as Makenna giggled and followed behind her. I watched them walk away with a frustrated groan. Sometime throughout the course of my running around and enjoying my last summer with my friends before we all spread out across the state to attend our respective colleges of choice, my baby sister had hit a disturbing growth spurt at the worst possible time._

_She was starting high school in a few days and turning fourteen in a little over two weeks. This was going to be the first time I've ever missed her birthday, and also the first time I wouldn't be around to keep an eye out on her. Even before her growth spurt, she had already caught the eye of a few eager Freshman and Sophomores at my football games last fall. Now that she was getting curves and actually showing them off a little more in tight fitting tank tops and microscopic shorts, I just knew all of the guys in the school were going to be taking notice of her._

_I had already started taking a proactive stand making Chuck Taylor and Steve Sams promise to play cockblocker in my absence, but damn it to hell, I had even caught them staring at her from time to time and they've known her their whole lives._

_I pushed the heels of my hands into my eyes and groaned one more time before following them down. Stepping into the living room at the bottom of the stairs, I found Pop was already settled in his favorite recliner with his cup of coffee and one of Ma's infamous sausage biscuit sandwiches._

_When I stepped into the room he looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. "How's the head, son?"_

_I knew he was pissed about the parties, but he was letting me having my fun with my friends without too much grief. "I'm fine, Pops, thanks for asking."_

_He shook his head and chuckled. "I thought Bells was exaggerating about the clothes, son, but I have to say, that shirt has definitely seen better days."_

_I groaned and rolled my eyes, "The rest of my sh...stuff," Pops lifted his eyebrow at my near slip before rolling his eyes as I continued, "is already packed. I only have two more outfits that aren't already packed away. This is just until I eat and grab my shower."_

_He rolled his eyes yet again with a half grin as he slurped from his cup. "Well, don't have too much fun tonight. Mom and I want to be on the road bright and early tomorrow morning."_

_I sighed and nodded, rubbing the back of my neck where my muscles were aching. I had a hazy memory of a keg stand gone wrong when one of the guys got distracted by Becky Craig letting go of one of my legs throwing off my balance and leaving me to crash to the ground. I couldn't be too pissed though; Becky Craig was like Lincoln's answer to Jessica Simpson, blonde hair, long legs, curvy ass, and a pair of double D's with a constant case of high beams. She was enough to distract anybody._

_I shifted my shorts as I tried to get more comfortable thanks my memories of beautiful Becky and her lady lumps that I had actually seen up close and personal on more than one occasion. I tugged at the front of my shirt as I walked into the kitchen to see Mom beaming up at me from in front of the stove where she continued to fry up eggs and a package of bacon for me and the girls._

_Her eyes misted up as she reached up and patted me on the cheek sweetly with a sigh. "This is the last morning that we get to all wake up together in the same house and enjoy a nice breakfast as a family. Tomorrow we'll be too busy getting loaded up to hit the road. I can't believe my baby boy is moving out and into a college dorm! I'm so proud of you, Emmett."_

_I leaned my face into her hand. She was being overly mushy, but at least she wasn't going all flighty at the moment, so I indulged. "Thanks, Ma, I'm going to miss this place and especially your breakfasts," I shouted as I reached around her side and yanked a hand full of bacon off the plate where she was settling the ones that were done, burning my fingers slightly in the process._

_She smacked at me with her towel as she laughed and told me to scoot. I settled next to Bella at the table and reached over to mess her hair._

_She groaned and batted my hand away, smoothing down the long locks that usually stayed down now and had a bit of a shine to it these days. I had to admit, I missed the days when she always wore it in a ponytail and wore loose band t-shirts and baggy blue jeans. Life was much easier when her beauty was masked ever so slightly by her tomboy persona, but she was starting to get all girly and it was making my job a hell of a lot tougher._

"_So what are you two dorks up to today?" I mumbled through a mouth full of pulverized crispy bacon._

_Bella shrugged. "No big plans for today. We might be going over to Amy's tonight to hang out."_

_I hummed along, trying not to show my panic. Amy Sanderson lived a stone's throw from the house that the big party that was the last hurrah for all of us before we left for school, so there was already the probability of some of the high school guys crossing her path to begin with. Add to that the fact that Amy was a bit of a social climber, and she had glommed onto the younger sister of the guy who was hosting the party, it was more than likely she would use her new connection to crash. All this ultimately meant that I might be spending my last night with my crew wielding a metaphorical bat at any dude who even looked twice at Bella._

_I sighed and groaned a bit as the frustration seeped in. Why was it that she always found a way to fuck up my fun? When we were kids she used to follow my friends and I around and I'd have to make sure she didn't get hit by the balls we were tossing around, or she would try to follow us on any of our damn fool bike jumps off the home made ramps we set up in the back pasture. No matter where I went, she was always around, making me have to take care of her. While I loved the squirt, that shit got fucking old._

_I was silent as I ate my eggs in frustration, while fuming over what I was pretty sure was going to be the completely ruined last night of fun in Lincoln. Meanwhile, Bella and Makenna giggled over boy bands and talked about what they were wearing to Amy's place tonight, finally earning an actual verbal groan as I heard them mention the words mini skirt and shimmer lotion._

"_What's wrong with you, Embear?" Bella whispered as she leaned over. She rested her cheek against my bicep, looking up at me through her eyelashes with her wide innocent doe eyes. "You still hurting from your night last night?" she whispered as she ran her little hand up my back and massaged my aching neck muscles as the guilt boiled up in my chest._

_I smiled down at her with a chuckle. "Yeah, maybe a little bit. Thanks for the neck massage, squirt. You always seem to know exactly where I hurt and how to help."_

_She smiled up at me with a giggle. "I do what I can, brother bear. I know what you're worried about. I heard Amy talking about trying to get into the party. Don't worry though, her mom overheard her last night and has put the whole thing on lockdown. I don't think we'll be sneaking over, and even if they did, Mickey and I would probably just call mom to pick us up anyway. I know you wouldn't enjoy it if you were worried about me."_

_Well that really made me feel like fucking shit. She could be a brat and clingy as hell, but I had to admit I had the best damn little sister there was. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I love you, squirt, you know that right?"_

_She blinked up at me with a sad smile. "I love you, too. I'm going to miss you when you leave. Besides, you're leaving me alone with THEM! I have a feeling Mom's going to go overboard with you gone, trying to fight off the whole empty nest thing."_

_I ruffled her hair again and this time she didn't fuss or try to fix it right away. "I'm going to miss you too, kid."_

_I pushed up away from the table and dropped my dishes in the sink before walking back toward the living room to make my way back upstairs for a shower. Dad stopped me as I walked by his chair with a firm hand._

"_Keep an eye out for her tonight, Emmett. Bella has a firm head on her shoulders, but she's also been trying harder to fit in lately. If they put enough pressure on her, she might end up giving in to the pressure. If they show up tonight, do me a favor and give us a call. I don't expect you to give up your night for her, but I need you to promise me to look out for her, okay?"_

_I felt a lump rise in my throat as a new set of worries about how my kid sister was going to fare in high school, especially if she was staring to go along with the crowd more to fit in, rose to the surface. The one thing you could count on was that Bella never did anything just because everyone else was doing it. It was what kept her out of trouble for the most part so far, but if that was changing, then lord only knew what havoc she might wreak._

_I sighed and ran my hand over my neck again nervously, "I already planned on it, Dad. You can always count on me to watch out for the dork."_

_Dad looked up at me with a proud smile and sighed. "I know, son. You don't know what a relief it is to me that I can count on you to watch her back."_

_I nodded, "Always." He nodded back stiffly and let go of me as I headed up the stairs toward my room, feeling anxious and trying to think of what else I could set up before I left to help keep Bells out of trouble._

"Emmett? Emmett baby, it's okay." I could hear Rose before I started to wake up and realize it was all a dream. Well, really it was more like suffering through a memory flashback. I sat up and groaned as a head rush hit me full force, causing me to drop back to my pillow.

I felt Rose's hand swipe my face. It was then that I realized I had been crying. It had always been so hard to come back every year to the graveyard with Bella. I always struggled to be strong for her and support her, but it hurt like hell every damn year. This year was way fucking worse. It was fun to show everyone around, but for every fun memory, there was a painful one that reminded me how much I missed our parents.

Sitting in that house, even though it was decorated totally different with someone else's furniture, I still expected Mom to come out of the kitchen with a dishtowel in hand, snapping it at me as she ordered me to mow the lawn. It was strange not to see Dad to come in with his big ass coffee or a glass of tea and a bag of his potato chips to fall into the recliner that sat in almost the exact same spot as his always did. While it was nice to see the place and show Rose, Edward, and the goo goo eye twins where Bells and I came from, there were just too many damn ghosts there.

I felt Rose cuddle up to my side as she stroked my hair and my face. I sighed, curling up into her and soaking up her sweet smell and her warm heat. "Rose, do you think I did good by Bella? Do you think I did enough?"

I felt her shift as her hands cupped my face in the dark of our room. "Baby, nobody could have done more for her. She is so lucky to have a brother like you and she knows it. Look at how far she's come, Emmett. She's finishing up med school, she's happy and in love and getting married soon. You did a great job with her and I know she is so grateful for you. She's told me several times how much you mean to her."

I wrapped Rose up in my arms and sighed as I stroked her long silky hair. Soon I felt her stomach jump against my side. I jumped and looked down surprised. I had felt the baby move a time or two under my hand, but I had never felt anything like that.

"Wow! Was that her kicking?"

Rose laughed. She grabbed my hand, putting it over her stomach. "Yeah, she's been kicking like this for about a week now. You usually sleep through it. She doesn't usually do it during the daytime."

I rested my hand under Rose's on her stomach, feeling another hard kick push against my hand through Rose's stomach. I laughed again. "Wow, that's so amazing. This kid's going to be a soccer player for sure!"

I shimmied down, resting my head on Rose's stomach and smoothed my hand over the bump that rested there.

"Hi my baby girl, it's Daddy. You need to stop kicking Mommy so hard at night so she can sleep. You'll learn soon enough that Mommy can be pretty grumpy when she doesn't get enough sleep."

I chuckled when I felt Rose smack the top of my head and grumble lowly. The baby kicked at my hand again as I sighed. I shifted to look up at Rose as I continued to talk.

"So what are we going to name you anyway? Mommy and Daddy haven't really talked about that yet. What names do you like sweet pea? We could name you Renee after your grandma." Rose crinkled her nose slightly and I laughed. "Well if we won't go with Renee then Caroline is out also."

"Good," Rose grumbled, "didn't want that anyway."

"What do you want Rosie? Do you have a name picked out?"

She played with my hair with a smile gracing her lips. "Actually, I was thinking about using our names and combining Emmett and Rosalie to get Emmalie. If you want to get technical I was thinking that Emmalie Isabella Swan would be perfect and we could call her Emma."

I smiled up at her, feeling my eyes prickling a little. It sounded perfect. I turned my face to kiss her stomach and whispered at her belly button. "What do you think, little girl? Is your name Emmalie?"

I felt Rose's stomach shift as a lump formed under my hand and pressed for a few seconds before relaxing back into her stomach. It was almost like the baby was reaching out to touch me instead of landing a fast hard kick. I smiled back up at Rosalie. "I think we may have a winner."

Rose smiled and tugged on my hair to bring me back up to her side as we cuddled together and finally drifted back to sleep.

**EPOV**

I sat up on my elbow next to Bella running my fingers through her hair and watching her sleep. I was glad she was finally getting some peaceful rest. She had tossed and turned most of the night, mumbling about her parents and Emmett, and something about demon corn that I couldn't exactly make out, but still made me chuckle.

Finally, after watching her for the better part of half an hour, she shifted and yawned, her eyes fluttering open slowly. She stared unseeing at the ceiling for a moment before she blinked a few times and shifted her face to look at me with a slow grin spreading across her face.

"Good morning, beautiful," I whispered, leaning down to tuck her hair out of the way and kiss her neck a few times.

"Good morning, Mr. Perfect," she whispered back with a moan.

My mouth moved up the column of her soft neck to her mouth. Our kisses grew in intensity. I had just shifted on top of her enjoying the sensation of her warm flesh grazing mine when a loud bang at the door made us both jump a mile and Bella squeal.

"Get up, lazy lovebirds. We're heading over to Cracker Barrel for breakfast in twenty with or without you, and trust me, you want to go. The continental breakfast here sucks ass!"

I dropped my head to Bella's shoulder with a groan as she chuckled underneath me, her gently vibrating body not helping the issues I needed to tame before we joined our friends for breakfast.

Twenty minutes later, we were all in the car crossing over to the restaurant with the cozy country setting. To our surprise, there was a bit of a wait on a table. The girls forced us back out front in the freezing cold to sit in the rockers that lined the front of the building. Alice and Rose immediately settled on either side of the cloth checker board with the gigantic red and black checker chips. Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a double rocker, settling in beside me, curling up to my chest. She buried her cold nose in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply with a small sigh.

Thankfully, the wait was short. The girls only had time to do about six moves before the vibrating disc told us that it was time to go in and be seated. Soon we were settled in the middle of the restaurant where two tables were pulled together near the fireplace. We all sat quietly as we waited for our food.

Slowly but surely, more stories from Emmett and Bella's time in Lincoln began to fill the quiet and we were soon all laughing.

"Oh, I have to ask," I finally interjected, "you were moaning in your sleep about demon corn last night. What was that all about?"

Bella grimaced and glared pointedly at Emmett, "Well, SOMEONE thought it would be simply hilarious to talk me into watching Children of the Corn one night after our parents went to bed. I was ten and Emmett was fourteen. He grabbed me out of bed and snuck the two of us down for a midnight viewing of one of the scariest freaking movies you've ever seen if you live on a plot of land completely surrounded by corn fields half the year."

"Oh Emmett, you didn't," Rosalie admonished, smacking Emmett's arm as he groaned.

"I got so freaked out that I wasn't able to sleep alone for three months after that, until after the farmers harvested. Every time I would look outside, I would scream and run to hide, saying that I saw someone standing in the corn with a machete."

"Hey, I thought it would be funny. I never dreamed you would get that scared over it. I mean, yeah it was a fucked up movie, but it wasn't THAT scary!"

"I was only ten, you moron. To a ten year old, it was terrifying. I kept thinking I was seeing that tall red headed kid that walked around yelling 'Outlander' in the field!"

"Well, I paid my dues. I was the one that had to sleep on your hard ass floor every night for three months and try to sleep through you babbling on and on about the movie and Tony Richardson."

Bella blushed ten shades of red, covering her face with her hand as I heard someone down the table ask who Tony Richardson was. Emmett beamed sadistically at Bella as he laughed loudly.

"Tony Richardson happened to be one of the new young cops on the force in Lincoln and Bella's first crush. It didn't matter he was like fourteen years older than her. Every time he came around, she would get all googly eyed. She followed him and dad all over the property. Matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that was how she ended up learning to shoot.

She followed them out to the range and Dad decided if she was going to show an interest, that he better teach her some gun safety."

"So what happened?" Alice asked, giggling down at Bella.

"Oh, he broke her heart when he brought his fiancée out with him one time to teach her how to shoot. Bella ran to her room and cried for an hour before Mom managed to get her to stop."

I rubbed my hand up and down Bella's back, which was exposed thanks to the fact that she was bent over the table, banging her head repeatedly on the wooden surface. I was just about to try to distract her when the food arrived, saving both her forehead and the wood any further damage.

After we finished our meal and paid for the food we ran back across to the hotel so I could grab our bags while Bella was being distracted by Rose and Alice. I tossed them in the back of the van for our trip to Springfield later in the day. I already had everything arranged for her surprise. We would have a rental car waiting for us down there, so that the rest of the crew could come back to Lincoln for the last night. Bella and I would drive up and meet them the next morning, dropping the rental off in Bloomington on our way home.

Emmett drove as we made our way down I55 to Springfield, taking a scenic route through town and pointing out places that they used to go to as a family. It was too cold to get out to explore and enjoy on a day like today. Finally, after an hour of meandering around the sights of Springfield, we ended up at a mall, much to the glee of Alice and Rose and the chagrin of Bella. They immediately drug her off to shop with them, ordering us guys to stay far away. Thankfully, this fit perfectly into our plans of picking up the rental and checking into the hotel Bella and I would stay in that night.

We quickly raced to the rental agency. Being central Illinois, there wasn't a whole lot of selection. I wanted something sleek and sporty, but as Emmett so eloquently pointed out, there was no telling what the weather would do. Considering the reason for the trip, he suggested something that would feel safer for Bella, so I settled on the black Lincoln Navagator full size SUV with all the bells and whistles.

Jasper climbed in with me. He whistled as we followed sleekly behind Emmett in the rented minivan. Once we reached the hotel for the night, I nervously went to check in with Emmett and Jasper following behind. I wanted something special, but I was hoping that the suite I had reserved for us wouldn't be overly tacky. The pictures online looked the most tasteful of the choices, but sometimes pictures didn't really give the full effect.

I took the key cautiously, making my way toward the suite. Emmett and Jasper followed me up to the third floor where the door to our suite waited at the end of a long hallway. I held my breath as I slid the keycard through the reader and opened the door, slowly peeking through the crack and sighing before opening the door completely.

Emmett and Jasper followed, snickering at the motif of the valentine themed room with its massive heart shaped bed and matching heart shaped hot tub. Across from the door was a seating area with two massive black lounge chairs that faced a large flat screen TV mounted over a gas fireplace with logs that gave the essence of a glowing embers. I crossed the room to sit our bag in the closet as Emmett and Jasper went to plop on the bed, laughing a minute before Emmett growled. I looked over to see him glaring at me.

"I really wish I hadn't gotten near the bed. I didn't need to know that there was a mirror mounted above the bed you would be sharing with my kid sister tonight."

I chuckled as Emmett got up and plodded toward the black chairs while Jasper laughed loudly, pointing out the fact that there were mirrors behind the bed and all around and above the heart shaped hot tub as well. His revelation earned another groan from Emmett.

I grabbed out the supplies I needed from my bags and made the guys help me set up the room before I changed my clothes to get ready to go meet the girls at the mall. If all went according to the devious pixie's plan, Bella would be ready for our evening together within an hour.

**BPOV**

Alice and Rose were obsessed with shopping for me. I was pulled unceremoniously from store to store as they insisted I purchase a blue jewel toned satin bra and panty set, followed by a short blue cap sleeve dress with a sweetheart neckline and matching kitten heels. After the outfit was in place, they pulled me off to get my hair done and a mani/pedi, leaving me reeling from the speed of it all.

While I was in the spa getting myself buffed and polished, Alice disappeared. She rematerialized later with a long, navy blue, wool dress coat, holding it out for Rose's approval. Once Rose concurred with her choice, she ushered me to a counter in one of the major department stores to get a makeover. She instructed the girl working on me to give me smoky eyes and light pink lips before ushering me into the store's restroom. Here she forced me into my new clothes, smiling at the finished product.

I swallowed nervously as I looked at myself in the mirror. About five minutes after we hit the mall, the realization hit that this was some kind of an Edward plan. We were obviously doing something special this evening. I spun slowly with a gentle smile as the girls beamed at me. Rose plucked a small blue satin clutch that matched the dress out of a bag, putting the tube of lipstick, my wallet, a tiny vial of body mist, and my cell phone inside. She handed it to me as Alice popped up behind me, sliding a pear shaped sapphire necklace around my neck, allowing the stone to settle just above my cleavage.

They both hugged me and told me to enjoy my night just as Alice's phone rang. She held it up to her ear with a wide smile.

"Yep, we just finished up. Pick us up at the Macy's entrance. She's all yours."

At this, Alice and Rose led me through the store. I got funny looks from several of the shoppers as we passed them. Soon, both ladies were pushing me through a door at the end of the store. There I found a handsome as hell Edward, standing in front of a massive, fancy looking, black SUV, wearing a pair of dark dress pants, a blue button down shirt that almost perfectly matched my dress, and a smirk that made me want to jump him right there on the sidewalk.

I heard snickers behind me and saw that Emmett and Jasper were standing beside Rose and Alice.

"You two have a good night. We'll meet you back in Lincoln tomorrow afternoon for the drive home. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Emmett said with an eye waggle until he realized whom he was saying that to. He stopped mid waggle with a pained expression, earning a laugh from the rest of us.

I felt Edward move to stand behind me, running his nose along my neck. "You look absolutely heavenly, my love. Are you ready to go enjoy our evening?"

I sighed and nodded with a smile, thanking the girls for all of their help, and letting Edward help me into the tall vehicle. He crossed back to the driver's side and climbed in, taking my hand immediately, and kissing the back.

He hit a button on the navigational system on the console of the car and listened to the directions as the soft female voice led him across the city. I had no idea where we were going, but I didn't really care, because this was a nice break from the pain of being back in this part of the country without my mom and dad.

After a few miss-directions from the onboard computer's GPS, we finally pulled to a stop in front of a small canopied restaurant on Fifth Street, extremely close to all of the historic tourist sites. I smiled as I read the name of the restaurant on the canopy, Sebastian's Hideout. I had heard of it before, but never actually seen it in person.

We entered and were greeted by a hostess who fell all over herself to cater to Edward, making me just a little bit suspicious. Even as hot as Edward was, he didn't usually inspire THIS much personal attention based on his looks alone.

The hostess offered to take our coats. I slowly untied the belt that had held the heavy, navy blue, wool dress coat closed, revealing my dress to Edward for the first time this evening. I couldn't help but chuckle when he froze mid motion as he moved to take the coat from my body. His eyes were dark and full of longing as he slid the coat extremely slowly from my bare shoulders, only covered by the narrow cap sleeves. Once it was off, he handed it blindly to his right where the hostess had been. He immediately stepped forward to bury his nose in my neck and wrap his arm around my waist.

"You, my love, are definitely more than simply heavenly tonight. I can't wait for the rest of our evening to begin."

I shivered slightly as the excited chill ran up my back. He finally released me with a small chuckle. He slid his hand to the small of my back to guide me as we followed the hostess down a flight of stairs to the lower level of the establishment. We stepped into the room to find a partition separating the restroom area behind the stairs from the rest of the downstairs area. A large granite bar ran along one wall and a single round table with two comfortable looking chairs waited for us, along with a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket.

I looked around for a second, immediately realizing that Edward had definitely done something to earn the pandering by the hostess and the manager that soon appeared by our side, ushering us to our seats and pouring our first glass of red wine.

Once he left, I glared at Edward over the white table cloth. "What did you do, Mr. Cullen?"

He smirked as he loosened the napkin folded prettily on his plate and laid it across his lap with a flourish. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Cullen. We just came here for dinner."

I scoffed lightly and raised my eyebrows, earning a smirk and a wink. I shook my head with a sigh as he lifted his glass toward me. I lifted mine to meet his above the table as he tapped my glass lightly with his. "We've spent the past couple of days exploring your past. Tonight we are going to thoroughly explore the pleasures that await us in the future."

I gasped a little, fighting the urge to giggle as he eyed me darkly before slowly moving the glass back to his lips, slowly sipping the wine. I mirrored his action. The dark liquid was amazingly sweet and smooth as I sipped it and hummed in pleasure. One thing was for sure, he was off to one hell of a start.

We ordered from the fancy menu full of things I wouldn't even begin to anticipate what the combinations of foods would taste like. I decided to be brave though and decided to try a French dish called a cassoulet. I had no clue what it would taste like, but it sounded interesting with pork, pheasant, and bacon all in one dish.

Edward was so sweet as he continued to refill my glass and chat casually with me while we waited for our food. It was fun to muse together about the future. We discussed excitedly the things we might do, where we might live, what we wanted for our future. After a while, Edward got very quiet. He looked pensively at his plate before he glanced back at me through his eyelashes shyly.

"Bella, you do want kids some day, right?"

I smiled brightly, taking his hand between us on the table.

"Of course I do, I think about it all the time. I find myself wondering what our kids would look like."

His shoulders relaxed, He sighed with a smile and twinkle in his eyes. "I know we have to wait until you finish school and everything, but how soon afterward do you want to start trying for kids?"

I got up from my seat and walked over to his side of the table. I slid onto his lap crossways, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Are you getting the baby bug, Edward?" I asked with raised eyebrows and a knowing smirk.

He wrapped his arms around my waist. He blushed bright red, earning a loud laugh from me. It was nice to be on the other side of that reaction for a change. He nodded gently.

I sighed, running my hands through his hair.

"I'm not totally sure how things will go after I finish my residency. I'd very much like to have kids with you right away, but it may take a while to get involved in a practice and get situated before I'd be ready for that…unless…" I trailed off, thinking deeply. The thought that had just crossed my mind was one I had not actually considered before. I was not sure how well it would all work out.

I was deep in my own world when I felt Edward squeeze my waist a couple of times, urging me to continue. "Unless?"

I sighed and turned to look into his deep longing eyes. I smiled, running my hands through his hair. "Unless I took a year or two off between my residency and getting involved in a practice. I could get involved with something that wouldn't require quite as much of my time and dedication, but would still use my education and not get involved with a practice until later…if at all."

He frowned down at me in confusion.

I sighed and blushed this time. "Edward, I know you said once we were married that your money was my money and everything like that. Um, I was wondering if you still meant that, because there's something I always thought I would want to do. I never thought I would get the chance because it wouldn't be very feasible when I would have to support myself or my family, but your unique financial situation kind of lets the possibilities open up a bit more. How would you feel if I worked at a free clinic after I completed my residency? I wouldn't be bringing in any money into the household, but I would really be able to help in ways that I never thought I could. Not only that, then I wouldn't have responsibilities to a private practice or anything like that, so it would give us more leeway for letting kids into our life."

I waited for him to process the information as he frowned down at me for a split second. Suddenly, he leaned forward, pulling me hard against his chest as his mouth claimed mine eagerly.

"I love you so fucking much, Bella Swan," he mumbled as he pulled away with a bright smile and glowing eyes.

We sat there, smiling at each other goofily, as the waiter came up and cleared his throat. He sat our dishes on the table unobtrusively before walking away while we ignored him completely.

"So, we're going to start trying for kids after you finish your residency while you work at a free clinic and I'm hopefully running a training facility?"

I giggled and nodded. "Sounds like we're completely insane, but I can't say I'm anything but ecstatic!"

We traded a few more kisses before I finally slid off of his lap. I went back to my seat before we both hummed our way through our meal and finished off the wine. Once we were all done, Edward walked to the deserted bar and pushed a button on an iPod docked in an iHome that I hadn't noticed before. Once the music was beginning, he crossed over to me, offering me his hand, and leading me to the middle of the floor. We danced slowly together in the privacy of our dining area.

"Do I want to know how much you paid to have this whole room, that should be full of diners, to ourselves on a Saturday evening?"

He chuckled and shook his head no, earning a sigh from me before he kissed me slowly. We swayed side to side in the dimmed light of the room as old Sinatra songs filled the air. As we danced, the intensity between us grew until we were both dying to just get back to our room and enjoy the rest of our night 'exploring the pleasures of our future,' as Edward had so teasingly put it.

Edward walked up to the hostess stand at the top of the stairs, asking for a check and our coats. He came back with our coats in hand, holding mine for me to slide my arms inside before settling it on my shoulders. He turned back to the hostess, signing the final credit card slip, before cupping his hand at the small of my back to lead me toward the door to the restaurant. He was holding the door open when I heard a laugh behind me that I recognized. I froze solid, mid step, before slowly turning back around and finding myself staring at the profile of a man that I never thought I'd ever see again.

_**I'm sorry for the cliffie, but if I didn't end it here then this chapter would be something on the order of twice as long as it already is, so I had to stop here. Looking forward to your opinions!**_

_**Also, in case you're wondering, the Mr/Dr Cullen wasn't an accident. They keep using it randomly just for fun trying to get used to it for after they are married, but often revert back to their current names during serious times.**_

_Finally, __**hanks so much for sharing your crazy teen stunts. They were great. If you're bored, you can always read the reviews from last chapter, some of you guys made my friends and I look like lame-o's! (and the fact that I used the term lame-o just goes to prove how lame I really am! LOL!)**_

_**As always, I'm looking forward to your opinions!**_


	50. Justice Served and Champagne Consumed

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, but you already know that.**

_**Okay, I wrote my hiney off today to get this chapter together and up as soon as I could in order to relieve you from the frustration of the cliffy. Many of you guessed what I was up to right away, I hope you enjoy it. Oh and I'll warn you now Major Lemon Alert at the end of this chapter. Seriously, I think this is probably one of the HOTTTTest I've knocked out yet! Please remember to leave me a review and let me know what you thought!**_

_**Thanks to Sassenach Wench for validating these puppies so they post for you on Twilighted. Also thanks to my guest beta on this chaper, AgoodWITCH.**_

**Justice Served and Champagne Consumed**

**EPOV**

The night had gone better than I had ever imagined. I never dreamed going in that we would actually have such a serious discussion about our future and that it would have such a great outcome. Three more years, Bella had three years of residency left before she was done. She would be allowed to practice and could go out to expand herself in the medical world. In typical Bella fashion, she amazed me so much more than I ever anticipated.

She had been talking for several months about a private pediatrics practice. I just assumed that she would go straight into that after school, so when she brought up delaying getting involved with a practice in favor of donating her time to a free clinic, hopefully providing time for us to start our family, I felt like my heart would burst in my chest. Not only was it such a noble use of her degree, but I felt honored that she would be willing to take those measures for us, for our family.

The rest of the night was perfect, so perfect that I couldn't wait to get her back to our suite to sip on more champagne and make love to her in the incredibly cliché bed with the mirror mounted overhead. It may have been tacky, but if I was honest, I was really looking forward to both of us enjoying the experience. I helped her with her coat, leading her up the staircase toward the front door. I opened it, holding it open for her to exit, when she stopped mid step. I looked to see a slightly panicked expression on her face. Her gaze was turned behind her, her eyes wide and troubled, as her hand sitting inside of mine began to shake perceptibly.

I turned to look in the direction that her panicked eyes were locked. I felt like the breath was knocked out of my chest when I saw the profile of the one man I was hoping would be in a Federal prison far from us, not sitting in a fancy restaurant in the middle of the town he had once called home. In the city her lived before moving to Chicago and putting all of our lives into chaos sat Dr. Trevor Sellers himself.

I grabbed Bella's hand, yanking her quickly through the door. I pulled her further up the sidewalk to stand against the wall with her in my arms as her breathing grew erratic. Thankfully, he never caught sight of us.

"B…but, how? I mean, the FBI is after him and he's sitting here, in his hometown, having a casual dinner in a nice restaurant, like he doesn't have a care in the world? How is that even possible?"

I sighed, running my hand over her silken hair, kissing the top in an attempt to help her calm down. "I'm guessing that you combine the fact that Illinois has always been one of the most corrupt states in the country, where officials can often be bought off quite easily, with the old concept of hiding in plain sight. He changes his name, comes back home where the Feds would never think to look for him, buys off all the locals, and he's fairly safe."

I felt myself growling under my breath at the fact that a man like that could so easily walk the streets, free and clear. I felt at a loss in the moment, though. If this were Chicago, I would know exactly who to call, but this was Springfield, where I had no connections. Odds were, anyone we contacted would be in Sellers' pocket.

I grabbed my cell out, quickly dialing Emmett who freaked out nearly as much as Bella had. He had a great suggestion, though. Before we hung up, he explained that they were still in Springfield hanging out. He said they would be coming our way soon. I felt better knowing I at least had a few people in our corner. A smart man would have made some calls and walked away, but I couldn't stand the thought of this asshole still out on the streets when we could do just a little leg work and assure that he ended up in the right hands.

As soon as the phone call ended, I noticed Bella was shivering. Finally remembering that she was in nothing but a thin satin dress with a dress coat over it, her legs were still bare to the harsh February cold, I led her to the rental. I helped her climb into the back where she could be warm and concealed by the black tinting, before climbing in with her and holding her close. While I held her by my side, I made a call to Joey Spencer in Chicago, the departments liaison with the FBI on these particular cases.

"Hey Spencer, this is Edward Masen. You're not going to believe who I'm staring at right now," I growled staring at Sellers laughing with a carefree air through the plate glass windows of the restaurant. "Trevor Sellers is, right this very moment, sitting in a restaurant in Springfield, Illinois, Sebastian's Hideout. Any chance you could get a hold of any Feds in the relative vicinity to come and nab his crooked ass?"

"What the hell?" Joe ground out on the other end of the line. "Are you sure, Masen? If you're wrong, this could be a big shit hitting the fan scenario."

"Trust me, man, my fiancée knew him pretty well in Chicago before he took off. She heard him talking and got all freaked when she turned around to see him. This is most definitely Sellers!"

"Okay, okay. I'm going to make some calls and call you back. Keep eyes on him if you can, but don't reveal yourself to him. It could be dangerous if he thinks you are an immediate threat!"

"Okay Joey, Thanks."

We sat in silence as we watched the party at Trevor's table drinking wine and sharing jokes. One of the other guys at the table looked more than a little familiar. I was trying to place him when Bella gasped.

"What baby?"

"Do you know how that guy is sitting there with him next to the pretty blonde?"

I shook my head. "He looks familiar. I've been trying to place him this whole time, but can't make the connection. Who is he?"

She snorted and rubbed her hand over her face. "Illinois State Representative Royce King. Sellers must have some deep freaking connections in this place. No wonder he came back here. He could probably buy his whole life a heck of a lot more easily here than elsewhere. It gets worse. Royce is Rosalie's ex. They went to high school together. He is the asshole jock who cheated on her and gave her a STD that damn near made her sterile. Truth is, the baby is a miracle because the docs told her that she would never be able to have kids after the damage the Chlamydia caused. If she sees him, she's going to totally freak the fuck out!"

In an instant, she had her phone out calling Alice, telling her not to let them come any closer than a few blocks away. She explained the situation in a whisper, hoping Rose wouldn't overhear her somehow. Alice promised to keep Rose away. She said that they were nearby, but she would keep Rose in the car with her if anything happened.

Just as Bella was ending her phone call with Alice, my phone rang again. The caller ID told me it was Spencer.

"Please give me some good news," I blurted out as soon as I connected to the line.

"They're thirty minutes away. Do you think they'll make it in time?"

I ran my hands through my hair and checked the clock. "Fuck, man, I don't know! They've been in there a long time and the place will be closing in an hour. If he starts to leave before they get here, we'll try to stall somehow."

"Masen…don't! You're going to get yourself killed. This guy has some deep connections. I have a feeling he wouldn't think twice to knock you off."

I groaned and tugged at my hair in frustration just as a hand knocked on the window next to me, making me jump. I looked through the black tinting to see Emmett and Jasper squatting by the door, trying not to be seen. I threw open the door, shivering at the blast of icy air as they clamored over me and into the back seat.

"Okay, Spencer, hopefully we won't have to worry about it. Just tell them to fucking hurry."

I hung up the phone without waiting for a response as Emmett leaned forward with his head between us.

"So, why did we have to leave the girls two blocks away in the van?"

I opened my mouth to answer when Bella elbowed me. She gave me a stern look as the realization hit me that it wouldn't be any better for Emmett to know who Sellers was dining with than if Rosalie knew.

"Just trying to stay low key, Feds will be here in thirty. Until then, we just have to keep eyes on him. If he tries to leave, I don't know what we can do. Spencer says he's too dangerous to engage, but we can't just let him walk away."

My statement was met with silence as all four of us glared through the tinted glass at the man sitting in the restaurant so boldly, now sipping from a large martini glass. The sound that broke the silence made my heart grow cold in my chest.

"I'll do it. If he starts to leave, I'll 'bump' into him. Maybe I will be just enough of a distraction to delay him, but not enough to make him go on the offensive. He always underestimated me. He won't think twice about it," Bella whispered into the air.

A half a beat later, Emmett, Jasper, and I were arguing at full volume that it was a really bad idea.

Bella held her hand up to silence us. She looked our way with a determined look on her face. "No, it's not. Yes, I know who he is, but we've talked before about how I grew up in Lincoln and used to come back down to visit a lot. I'll just tell him the truth, that I'm in town because of the anniversary of mom and dad's accident. I parked the car before walking down to Sammy's Sports Bar just up the block there to meet you guys. He wouldn't dare hurt me knowing two SWAT members are expecting me and are so close. He'll talk for a few minutes and then run off to go hide again. I'm almost certain of it. With any luck, I can hold him off just long enough for the Feds to get here. If not, then we follow as best we can and update the Feds."

"No Bells, it's too risky, too many assumptions. I'm not willing to risk you for this. Fucker can go live free for all I care, as long as you're safe," Emmett growled from the back seat as he clasped his hand over her shoulder.

Bella reached up and rubbed the back of his hand softly. "You may be willing to make that sacrifice, but I'm not. He's dangerous, far more dangerous than Robbie Rod was. He needs to be taken down, and sooner rather than later. I'm not willing to sit around, ignore the corruption, and let him just keep floating along. He was the reason for ninety percent of the shit we've been put through this past year. It's thanks to him that Trager ever noticed me at all, that the whole hostage situation ever happened, and that Edward was shot. I'm not settling for anything less than his ass behind bars."

Emmett and Bella were both starting to get overly vocal in their arguments. I decided I needed to placate both of them for the time being. "You two, stop. We might not have to do that at all. Feds should be here in fifteen minutes. With any luck, they'll take him into custody without any interference from us whatsoever."

"Here's hoping," Jasper sighed from the back seat as he rubbed at the back of his neck roughly. His left knee bounced nervously below him.

We sat in silence for the next ten minutes when all our hopes went to fuck. With five minutes to spare, the waitress came over, handing Sellers the check. He immediately paid with cash and began to get up from the table, sliding into his coat and shaking hands with King.

Before any of us registered what was happening, the door opened by Bella and she disappeared onto the sidewalk. I immediately went to jump out and follow her, but froze with my hand on the door handle when the restaurant door opened. Sellers stepped out just as Bella strode toward him with her head down and determination in her gait. My heart stopped and ice filled my veins as I watched my life walk straight into the eye line of a gangster.

**BPOV**

_I can do this. I HAVE to do this. There is definitely no going back now._I chanted to myself as I walked straight toward the tall frame holding open the door to Sebastian's that I could barely make out through my eyelashes with my head lowered. My heart was pounding in my chest, the sound of rushing blood filling my ears with each pump of the excited muscle.

As I approached, I noticed him look toward me just as my arm made contact with his. I jerked my head up, beginning to form my planned apologies, and then feigned surprise to find that it was Trevor I had bumped into.

"Trevor?" I questioned innocently. "I…you…what are you doing here?"

His fellow diners froze at my mention of his first name. They turned to go back into the diner, effectively abandoning Trevor as they pretended not to be associated with him.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" He asked as he let the door close. He slid his hands into his pants, gripping something in his pocket.

I looked down at my feet and tried my best to make my emotions fit the story as I explained that this weekend was our annual trip to visit our parent's grave. I went on to detail how we came down to let off some steam from the emotional weekend. The furrows in his brow flattened as I explained and he put the rationale together, but then reformed when he noticed the 'we' in my statement.

"Where are the rest of your friends?" He asked looking anxiously up and down the street.

"My brother and my fiancé are waiting for me up at Sammy's. I'm the DD for the night and so I parked the car and am walking down to join them. This isn't the first place we've hit tonight."

He raised an eyebrow at me. I worried he wasn't buying it. "Hardly seems fair, you're the one that lost the parent and should be drowning your sorrows, so why is your fiancé the one getting to imbibe?"

I shrugged, "You know, I was never much of a drinker," I whispered alluding to our one date where I drank very little and told him I didn't really enjoy getting drunk often.

He nodded and then glanced toward the bar I said I was heading to with apprehension, "Well, I better get going. I don't want your brother and your future husband to start worrying about you."

I smiled and nodded, feeling panic that I hadn't delayed him enough. I needed to find something to make him stay. He turned and started to walk down the street as I yelled at his back.

"Hey Trevor," he turned back nervously. "I forgive you. I know that the whole mess was all Trager trying to impress you and not you personally. I'm still ticked about using him to try to get my attention, but I know that you didn't order the whole hostage thing at the hospital or anything like that." I was lying through my teeth; I just hoped he couldn't see it.

He froze and blinked at me a few times before swallowing hard, taking a step back toward me.

"I'm really sorry about all of that, Bella. I never, I mean, well you are a good woman. I didn't realize how much until that date we had. I never meant for all of those things to happen. I'm glad you didn't get hurt and I'm sorry that cop got shot. I never meant for anything like that to happen."

I nodded, "That cop is my fiancé now, just for the record," I called back flashing my engagement ring at him with a smile.

"Good for you. You take care of yourself, Dr. Swan."

"You too," I whispered as I turned and started to walk toward Sammy's because that was the safest thing I could think to do to keep up the façade of our conversation. I heard his steps echoing away from me on the concrete just before lights stared to flash and sirens began to call from three cars that pulled up along the street. I turned just in time to see a suited Federal officer approach him, a gun trained on his chest as he backed against the wall of the building with his hands up in the air.

I turned and started walking back to the car just as Edward jumped out. He ran up to me, pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead. Emmett and Jasper were hot on his heels. Trevor looked over at me in surprise. I nodded toward him. He was finally getting what he deserved and I was just one more step toward finally feeling safer in this world. He was just one thug in the whole crooked and messed up system, but I felt better knowing that at least one more was off the streets.

The agents cuffed him and began leading him toward the car when I called to them. I ran up in front of him as they started to put him in the car, reaching my hand back and slapping him on the cheek with a resounding smack.

"Just so you know, I was lying through my teeth. I blame you and the people you work with for everything. If you hadn't been the slime bag you are, then none of this would have happened. Trager would never have known I existed, he never would have tried to kill me to impress you, taken the hostages at the hospital, or nearly cost me the only man I ever loved. All of the shit in my life over the past year…I…blame…you!"

He glared at me before nodding silently. The agent put his hand on his head, guiding him into the back seat of the black sedan. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me, pulling me back against his warm chest as I stood shivering, not from the cold, but from the anger that was still coursing through my veins.

Alice and Rose ran up to us and melted into the arms of Jasper and Emmett, while Edward rocked me back and forth and whispered in my ear.

"You did good, baby. I want to kill you for pulling that stunt, but you did it. The Feds have him and we won't have to worry about him anymore. Come on; let's go enjoy the rest of our night. I have one more surprise for you."

I melted back into his embrace as his lips brushed my ear. His warm velvet voice, oozing with desire and relief, flushed the anger from my body, replacing it with a need to be close to him. All I really wanted to do now was wrap myself in his warm embrace.

We hugged the rest of the group before they went on their way back to Lincoln. We climbed back into the car, both of us still filled with nervous adrenaline, as Edward drove toward the hotel room we would stay in for the night.

Ten minutes later, we pulled in front of a three story hotel. Edward led me through the lobby to a room at the end of the hall on the second floor. He turned to me with a wide smile before sliding the card into the slot and clicking the door open, guiding me in ahead of him.

I looked around, smiling as I saw a trail of rose petals on the floor leading to the massive heart shaped bed at the far side of the room. Next to the door sat the heart shaped Jacuzzi tub with rose petals strewn around the edge and a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket on the ledge with two glasses sitting next to it.

As I looked around, Edward stepped in front of me and slowly began to unbutton the gold buttons on my long wool dress coat. Once the buttons were undone, he slid his hands across my shoulders, pushing the fabric down my arms and grabbing it when my hands finally fell free. He carried it across the room to drape across one of the two large black lounge chairs sitting in front of a fireplace, burning with a bright orange flame.

Once he was rid of our coats, he crossed back to my side, picking the bottle out of the bucket and popping the cork loudly with a fountain of spray shooting behind it as he let it flow into one of the flutes. He then proceeded to fill the other, handing me one with a smile.

"Well, the night really didn't go the way I expected, but I'm still glad that we're here, safe, and together. Shall we toast to our future?"

I smiled, lifting my glass to tap lightly against his, before taking a small sip as he lifted his glass to his mouth. I could feel the bubbles tickling my tongue as I let the liquid swirl over it, waiting for Edward's glass to come away from him mouth and his adam's apple to bob as he swallowed. The second I saw the motion, I stepped forward, claiming his mouth with mine. I opened my mouth to him, pushing some of the bubbling liquid into his mouth with my tongue, earning a moan and causing his lips to curve up against my cheeks.

We continued kissing with intensity for a long while before the need for oxygen finally forced us to break apart. We stared into one another's eyes for a long time before I smirked. I grabbed his hand, dragging him over to the oddly shaped bed with a giggle. I pushed his shoulders, indicating for him to sit.

Once I had him where I wanted him, I took his glass and set both of our glasses on the floor by the bed for easy access later. Turning back to him, I began quickly working to unbutton the front of his shirt, leaning forward to push it off of his shoulders. As I leaned forward to push his shirt off of his arms, he attached his lips to my exposed shoulder, sucking gently at the flesh, earning a moan from me as I rolled my head away giving him better access.

His mouth roamed across the bare skin of my neck and shoulders and upper chest while he reached behind me. He slowly pulled down the zipper of my dress, finally removing his lips just long enough to slowly push the sleeves off my arms, letting the dress fall to the floor below me.

Once free of the dress, he sat back and stared appreciatively at the shiny blue underwear set that the girls had insisted on buying me as his hands drifted up and down my sides. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles over my abdomen and ribs as they traveled. Finally, his gaze lifted back up to my face. The love and appreciation behind his eyes was enough to make me weak in the knees.

In an instant, I pushed forward and kissed him with fervor as I pressed on his shoulders, encouraging him to lie down. I began slowly kissing down his torso and sliding off the bed at his feet. Fidgeting with the belt and button on his pants, I kissed around his belly button, sucking gently on the flesh along the waistband of his nicely pressed dress pants. Once I freed the button and lowered the zipper, I pulled the pants down off of his legs, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs.

While I was on the floor tugging his pants off of his feet and disposing them behind me along with his socks, I grabbed one of the flutes of champagne. I slowly maneuvered my way back up his body, kissing as I went until I reached his abs and belly button. I balanced myself above him as I slowly poured a small puddle of the bubbling elixir on the center of his stomach, earning a hiss.

I giggled at him before leaning forward, being careful not to spill the rest of the liquid in the glass on the bed, and caressed his flesh with my tongue, lapping up the shimmering fluid that tickled my tongue and my nose as I worked.

Edward moaned and groaned appreciatively before grabbing the glass out of my hand and grabbing my waist. He flipped me onto the middle of the bed, rolling over to kneel above me with a deadly smile that made my heart flutter.

"That felt so good, I think you need to experience it yourself," he crooned as he smoothed a hand over my stomach and chest before letting his hand dip behind my back. He skillfully unlatched the strapless bra, grabbing the middle and pulling it free from my body, tossing it somewhere into the room behind him.

His hand continued to roam my now exposed chest, pausing occasionally to tweak at my nipples teasingly. He smirked and lifted the glass over my torso, pouring the cold tingling liquid over my stomach and in the dip between my breasts. I hissed at the sensation, trying to hold still as the bubbles tickled my skin. I looked above me, trying to focus, and noticed for the first time that there was a mirror above the bed. I let out something that was a strange combination of a giggle and a moan.

Edward glanced above me with a wry smile. "I was enjoying the view while you were doing this to me too."

He leaned down toward my body at a pace that was torturously slow. Finally, he reached my tingling stomach. Keeping his eyes on me the entire time, he reached out with his long tongue, lapping at the slowly warming fluid on my stomach, before adjusting to suck at my navel where a larger amount had puddled. Running his tongue around and around my navel a few times, he began slowly trailing up the little ribbon of moisture that connected my belly button with the puddle between my breasts. His moans as he moved rumbled against my skin in delicious ways, making the sensations that much better.

Once he reached my chest, he lapped at the puddle excitedly, his eyes rolling in his head as a savored the combinations of flavors. Once the puddle had been suitably removed, he trailed his mouth over to my nipple, letting some of the liquid in his mouth surround my nipple as he ran his tongue in circles around it, causing me to arch and mewl. Edward chuckled as the rest of the liquid pooled between my breasts flowed up my shoulder, disappearing into the mattress by my neck. Edward groaned and chased the trail with his tongue before moving back down to tease the other nipple in the same way.

I watched his head as it drifted above his back. The muscles of his back rippled and contracted under his efforts to hold himself above me. That mirror continued to be my best friend the rest of the night as I watched his head move between my legs. His hands roamed my body while his tongue was buried within me, making me scream with several orgasms before he removed his briefs and moved to hold himself over me as he prepared to enter me.

The feelings and smells were amazing as always, but the added stimulus of watching his perfect ass and back muscles clench and release as he thrust into me was the final straw that sent me over the edge of my climax as my muscles massaged his length.

He kept going, holding out like a trooper as I floated through the waves of my orgasm, after which I insisted we switch positions so he could enjoy the view. I settled myself on top of him, riding him as he moaned. He trailed his hands over my body, teasing the nerves at the top of my lips. When I was close to reaching my release again, I leaned back, bracing my hands on his thighs behind me. I arched my back as we locked eyes in the mirror above us and both fell over the edge together, yelling out more loudly than we ever had before.

Once we relaxed from the over the top climax, I fell limply against his chest. He rolled me to his side, kissing me tenderly as his hands lazily roamed my sides.

"We really need to find a fucking mirror for the ceiling in our bedroom," he crooned into my ear. I giggled and nodded. "Holy fuck, that was hot as hell!"

I couldn't even find my voice to reply; I just nodded mutely and sighed into his mouth as he claimed my lips again, his tongue exploring mine happily.

We didn't get much sleep that night as we enjoyed the amenities of the romantic, if not slightly cheesy, suite. We were exhausted as we joined the rest of the group the next morning before returning home. Edward let Jazz drive the Navigator to the rental place in Bloomington where he had arranged to have it returned on our way back to Chicago while he and I cuddled up together in the back seat of the van and slept soundly.

_**So...what did you think? We're starting to get closer to the end now and Dr. Scumbag was one of the loose ends that needed to be secured. We still have a bit to go, but we are definitely winding down here. Thanks to my guest beta AgoodWITCH once again for her speedy work. She was highly motivated knowing I left you guys with such a huge cliffy. Hope the lemon made up for the frustration! Please leave me a review and let me know what you guys thought!**_


	51. The Human Incubators

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but then again you knew that! I also own no rights to the songs mentioned in this chapter.**

_**I hadn't initially planned on doing this chapter this way, but inspiration struck at 2 am while I was up with my fussy daughter who I thought was fighting off a cold of some sort, but come to find out was cutting two molars…Poor baby. So, for the first time ever, we are going to see a brand new POV.**_

_**As my beta, the lovely Sihaya9, who has returned to us from RL, pointed out, it doesn't seem to advance the story, but I felt like I totally abandoned Tanya and haven't seen anything from her in a while. I thought she could be a fun way to introduce the beginning of the Rock Band contest.**_

_**Thanks to Sassenach Wench for her lovely validation skills. I say again, if you haven't checked out her fic Geek Love, you really should!**_

**The Human Incubators**

**Tanya POV**

Up to this point, my life had been a comedy of errors. I was raised by pretentious, moneyed snobs who never saw fit to teach me how to live in the world or be self sufficient in any way. My job was to look pretty, have good manners, and marry well, preferably someone with an impressive pedigree. So yeah, I was basically a very tall, hairless show dog.

Unfortunately, my parents never had the foresight to think they might possibly die, ever. Sure, they had life insurance policies, but they never dreamed that they would die before they had me permanently ensconced in a mansion in somewhere in the Northwest Suburbs with a husband who came from money, one that could take over the estate business when they were gone. So when they died, leaving me alone in the world two months after I graduated high school, I was completely lost.

Being who they were, they had no true friends in their lives willing to lift a finger to help me out at all. I was simply left to sink or swim while trying to sort through massive piles of legal documents that might as well have been written in Latin for all the sense they made, and thick binders full of numbers that meant absolutely nothing to me. I had no clue how to pay bills, or shop for groceries, much less manage a household, or live on my own. I was drowning…and fast.

Then entered Laurent Moreau, my parents' trusted friend and accountant, to sweep in and collect all the crumbled pieces of my once perfect life, reassembling them for me. He helped me pour through the massive legal documents that took care of selling off my father's company, which I had no way of even beginning to run, selling off the vacation properties we had on three continents, and putting my family home on the market. I didn't want to, but I knew that that between no longer owning the company and having no income, my money would disappear far faster than I wanted if I was trying to pay for our massive home and substantial acreage with a matching enormous property tax bill.

Despite Laurent's, who insisted I call him Larry, considerable age difference, I found myself drawn to him as he so sweetly cared for me and helped me make sense of the insanity that my life had become. I was already set up to attend Harvard in the fall, but I felt with all the upheaval, it would be too much strain. Instead, I made a call to Northwestern and U of I Chicago to see if I could make it in with late admission. Northwestern had no openings left for freshman admission, but by some stroke of luck, UIC had an opening for me.

Larry helped me get settled in school, promising to take care of everything and act as my personal accountant so I didn't have to worry about anything except my schooling. He was kind, sweet, and compassionate. He called me every week like clockwork to check in and make sure I was doing well, and if he called on a bad day, he always invited me to have dinner to cheer me up.

That's how it all began. Looking back with more mature eyes of age and experience, I now see how he manipulated everything to get my money. From the beginning, it was always about what was left of my family's fortune.

After my first year, Larry and I were involved in a highly physical relationship. I was head over heels with the man he presented himself to be. I thought that for the first time in my life, everything was going to work out the way it should. I was going to be happy and cared for.

With all of this firmly entrenched in my mind, I didn't bat an eye when Larry informed me that he was going to have to move to Minnesota and asked me to come along. The next day, I walked into the admissions office, placing my drop slip on the registrar's desk. A week later, I had all of my belongings loaded up in a moving truck, driving it toward our new home in Minnesota where Larry had gone ahead to start his new job there.

Warning bells should have begun ringing right away when I reached our new home to find it empty, nobody was there to help me unload our things and settle our home. Larry was gone more than he was home, but promised that after he had made a name for himself at his new job that things would get better. A month later, he came home with a beautiful engagement ring and asked me to marry him. I was so happy that I jumped for joy into his arms and hadn't looked back.

I had never thought of such things as prenuptial agreements or equal division of assets until five years later. After half a decade of a deadbeat husband who didn't even come home most nights, much less take care of me, he unceremoniously announced that we were broke and he was divorcing me.

I was in shock. I didn't understand first of all, how my family's formidable financial inheritance could be completely depleted in five short years, nor what I had done to warrant me being left behind.

Larry disappeared, I had to find what work I could as a high school graduate cum college dropout in the small town that he had abandoned me in while he went off and did god only knew what in the name of his job. I got a job as a waitress, moved out of our house that I was informed was being foreclosed on shortly after Larry's disappearance, and found a small shoebox of an apartment to try to survive in.

I still hadn't learned my lesson though it seemed. About a year later, he appeared again, begging for forgiveness and promising to give me the life he had vowed when we were married. I was so lonely and scared. Even though I had gained some chops and learned how to stand on my own, it was just barely, but I was surviving. I let him back in though…into my heart and into my bed.

It only took me two weeks to realize what a mistake I had made and that nothing had changed. It was around that same time that I discovered I was pregnant. Larry laughed in my face when I told him, disappearing again. He had no ties this time at all to hold him back. Our divorce had gone through, with the assistance of public aid on my part, six months before. I was trapped.

To add fuel to the fire, it wasn't until after the second time he appeared in my life, leaving me pregnant and alone, that I discovered that he had never had job in Minnesota to begin with. My money had disappeared because we were living solely off my inheritance and quite lavishly at that. Meanwhile, Larry's business trips had been to his mistress in Minneapolis, who he was also keeping in the lap of luxury with the money my parents valued so highly.

I did my best to survive day by day in the one horse shithole Larry had drug me to and fully fucked me over in. It was a depressing life and I struggled daily with thoughts of just ending it all. Then, one day, fortune smiled down on me. Edward Masen arrived looking as fuckable as ever. My mind immediately began to envision the white horse he rode in on to carry me away from the fuckfest that was my life.

I was thankful to have an ace in the hole. During those five lonely years of being Laurent's abandoned housewife, I had made a friend who Edward would value learning more about their situation. Elizabeth had been my godsend and I knew she wanted to see him. It would be my golden ticket.

I was so desperate for a way out, I never considered who I might hurt along the way. Enter the woman who was now probably the most unlikely friend I could ever hope for, Bella Swan. I made a total mess of that whole situation when it first went down, but thankfully, Bella has a very forgiving spirit and a kind heart.

At Bella's suggestion, Edward and the rest of their friends worked together to help me get back to Chicago and find a good job. Even once I was back in Chicago, I still made some bad decisions that nearly got us all killed.

After the psychotic lunatic, who later held me at gunpoint, floated in and out of my life, I realized that even though I was older and a bit more world wise, I was still an ignorant pushover. In the weeks following James' death, I realized that for me to even begin to have a life I would want my child to be raised in, there would have to be no more men in my life at all. I had to support us on my own, because obviously I was horrible at finding someone who might actually care enough about me to take care of us.

The first few weeks after the whole traumatic event, I wasn't thinking clearly enough to even consider the idea, but it wasn't long before I began panicking over what the lunatic may have given me and my child. I was never more relieved when all of my test results came back negative. That was the turning point. I vowed right then and there to make a change.

First order of business, try to figure out a way to make more money to support us that would still allow me to actually raise my child without having to send him or her to a sitter all day and night. Besides the fact that most of my paycheck would go to daycare that way, I didn't want to miss out on the life of my little one.

This was on my mind as I was watching TV one night when I saw the commercial for online courses and noticed they had one for medical transcription. It would be perfect if I could find a work from home position, plus, I already had a rudimentary understanding of what it might take from my day job. I made the call, and a few days later, I began classes.

I worked like a demon for the next two months, working all day and studying all night, coming out the other side with a new marketable skill. I felt immense pride at my accomplishment. No, it wasn't a four year program with a fancy degree, but it was a step in the right direction for my future and the future of my son.

I found out at my twenty week appointment that I was having a son. That made me nervous; my knowledge of men was limited to my father and Larry. I hoped that with Edward, Bella, and the rest of the gang around that he might have at least some positive male role models to learn about how to be a good man.

Things were finally starting to go right with Edward and Bella. We all had the trial coming up in the early summer. Every single one of us was subpoenaed to testify. Beyond that though, they were doing great.

Once they all returned from their trip downstate for the anniversary of Emmett and Bella's parents' death, everyone seemed to relax quite a bit. Alice was busy gearing up for the big battle of the rock bands, as were all of the teams. I had even managed to form a team with a few of the girls from work. We thought it would be a nice way to have some fun together.

I was lucky, because not only did I have Bella and Edward to support me, I also had made some amazing friends through work. Several of us girls on the office staff were pregnant. We seemed to gravitate to one another since drinking was pretty much out, which was what everyone else always seemed to want to do. They were wonderful and I started feeling like even though I had no blood relations left, I had sisters and brothers all around me.

The girls and I had practiced a few times and played around with band names, finally settling on The Human Incubators. We thought it was cute at least.

Since there was way more interest than Alice and Bella ever thought possible, the setup of the contest was adjusted. To have all the bands perform at one time would make it an all day event with twenty five bands participating, not to mention that having all the bands in the building at once would pretty much take up half of its fire code capacity. Instead, they drew names of the bands and for the first week there would be five bands a night perform, with only two winning the round to pass on to the semi finals.

My girls and I took the stage for the first time, all dressed in our baby on board tee shirts and maternity jeans. We got some pretty funny looks, but we didn't care. We knew what we were up against and would never win the finals. We were doing this for the fun and to help support Dooley's. I also had an inside track and happened to know that if either the Femmes or the Knights won the contest, they were going to be donating their winnings to local charities, so I didn't bat an eye as we all pitched in a ten for our entry fee. My guess was it was going to end up going to greater good when it was all said and done anyway, because they were all amazing!

Irina slid on one of the guitars, adjusting the strap for her seven and a half month bulge while Zafrina settled behind the drums, raising the pads up so she would be able to hit around them without her eight month belly getting in the way. Siobahn smiled at me as she settled her guitar over her tiny little four month baby lump as I waddled up to the microphone stand with a smile at the audience.

"Hey there ladies and gents, we're The Human Incubators and we're just here to have fun."

A few people in the audience gave us half hearted claps as quite a few laughed at us, but we let it roll off our backs…good practice for when we get our epidurals. Irina entered the song we were performing as we settled back and enjoyed our set.

Each band had to play three songs, and then at the end of the night, the scores from the voting ballots placed around the room would be counted and the winners of the round would be announced. We started off with a rousing rendition of _Papa Don't Preach _by Madonna, followed by _Thank You _by Dido, and finished off with _Arms Wide Open _by Creed, making a slight adjustment from "I don't know if I'm ready to be the man I have to be" to woman, but beyond that it worked well.

Thankfully, we won them over in the beginning with cheers as we strutted around the stage playing up our big bellies happily, and after having the crowd on board, they were very supportive with loud clapping and wolf whistles when we wrapped it all up with the more somber, emotionally driven tunes.

It also didn't hurt us any that the first two bands to go on before us were dreadful. One was a Goth group who sang nothing but Marilyn Manson songs, which would have been fine if they had a tone quality somewhat equivalent to the man himself, but when you sing _Sweet Dreams _with a weak voice and no edge, it just sounds pathetic. After them came a group of girls who tried to sing Taylor Swift songs…not the best choice for a bar full of half drunken adults.

We started actually getting somewhat hopeful when we watched the last two bands. One was a girl band that rocked the house with a sexy twang as they sang _Kerosene _by Miranda Lambert, _Before He Cheats _by Carrie Underwood, and slightly twangier version of Kelly Clarkson's _Never Again. _Okay, so maybe they had a man hating American Idol/Nashville Star theme, but they really were pretty awesome. We assumed that they were a shoe in with the way the women in the room went wild with encouragement and the guys all gawked on, with dribbles of drool draining along their chins.

The final band was the one that we figured might knock us out of the slot to move up to the next level. They were a group of four mild mannered boys with nice voices who sang a trio of gentle ballads that made a few girls swoon, but really didn't garner any male attention, which might be where we would have the advantage. We tickled their funny bones, so maybe we were noticed a bit more.

When the night ended, a hired DJ for the contest took the stage to spin tunes during the counting of votes. Half an hour later, the girls and I all huddled around our small table, holding hands excitedly as Mama D went to the microphone.

"It was a great showing tonight ladies and gents, and now it's time to see which two bands from the night will advance to the semi-finals next Thursday."

She paused for dramatic effect as she slowly opened the white paper in her hand. The first place band for the evening who will come back to be on this stage next week is Power To The V!"

The table to the left of us with the collegiate man haters jumped up and screamed as they bounced in a circle, like little kids hopped up on straight sugar after being told that they were going to Chuck E Cheese.

Mama stood at the microphone and clapped, waiting for the squeals to die before she finally continued on. "The second place was a tight race. In the end, this band ended up winning with a ten vote margin. Please come back next week to see the girls who are not afraid to have a little fun at their own expense, The Human Incubators!"

The room clapped for us as we all looked at each other's faces with matching masks of surprise. It took a moment to for the realization to hit as we all jumped up and cheered with small fist bumps before we made a group high five in the middle of the table.

One round down, two more to go…if we're lucky!

I happened to glance at the table next to us that held the other group that we thought might possibly beat us. They smiled over at us warmly and tipped their drinks up in salute as we smiled back with a nod of thanks. The lead singer, who called himself Benjamin, smiled warmly at me with a wink.

I felt my face flush with excitement for a moment before reality set in again. I was largely pregnant and had sworn off men. I was not going to let myself get sucked in again. I had to be strong for me and my son. I looked away from Benjamin's face and studied the table with immense focus as I willed myself to be strong. It wasn't like a guy who would be willing to go after an obviously pregnant woman would be someone that would be looking for any real commitment anyway.

I looked up to see Irina get up to get another juice from the bar. The second she left, Benjamin slid into her seat. I swallowed hard past the lump I my throat. _Stay strong Tanya. NO MEN!_

"Hey, it's Tanya, right?"

I smiled politely and nodded.

He reached his hand out to shake mine. "Nice to meet you, I'm Benjamin."

I shook his hand and whispered a 'hi' in response. It was a struggle in knowing how to react to him. I didn't want to be rude, but I didn't want to encourage anything either. He actually seemed like a nice guy, from what you could possibly glean from five minutes of conversation at least. I kept reminding myself that I wasn't such a great judge of character, but Benjamin was funny and he had kind eyes that made me want to trust him.

If I were completely honest, there was always something hidden behind both Larry's eyes and James'. If I had been a student of humanity at the time, I would have recognized that they were not being sincere. Benjamin, however, had eyes that seemed wide open and full of genuine curiosity and kindness. There wasn't anything wrong with making a friend right? Everyone could use a few more friends.

Making up my mind that I would just be friends with Benjamin, I relaxed and let the conversation flow. There was nothing that said that we would have any contact beyond this evening anyway. The rest of his band soon joined our table and we all talked comfortably and enjoyed the music being spun by the DJ until we finally separated ways a couple of hours later.

Benjamin hailed a cab for us, wishing us luck in the next round. He said that if it worked out, he and the guys were planning on catching the rest of the contest. Excited at the possibility of seeing my new friend again in the near future, I made my way home to get a few hours rest before I had to be up for work again the next morning.

_**I completed the story over Christmas. The grand total for this story had the Epilogue ringing in as chapter 60. With any luck we can get the rest of this posted soon. I am also working on a series of one shots featuring the summers at the beach with Bella and her boys. **_

_**Most of these final chapters are going to be fun wrap up chapters, with the exception of the trial of course. Next chapter is more lead up to the Rock Band Final Competition, which will take place in chapter 52…**_

_**In the meantime, I'm ready for some reviews! I miss your lovely opinions! TTFN and see you soon!**_

Featured Songs mentioned in this chapter:

Papa Don't Preach by Madonna

Thank You by Dido

Arms Wide Open by Creed

Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson

Kerosene by Miranda Lambert

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

Never Again by Kelly Clarkson


	52. Fly Swatting Shirts & Citrus Showers

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: You know I don't own the characters; I don't have to tell you that...again!**

_**I've been looking forward to writing the Rock Band stuff forever and now it's here, I keep getting writer's block...so I'm saving the best ideas for the actual finals in the next chapter. Should be fun.**_

_**This is a highly citrus filled chapter. Like four and a half pages in word full of citrus, just to warn you. I guess I got a little distracted...hee,hee. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for the reviews! Songs for this chapter will be on a Rock Band Link. Songs for this chapter start at Three Days Grace.**_

http:/www. youtube. com/view_play_list?p=B22A1DC2CA0E1519

_**Thanks to betas extraordinaire Sassenach Wench and Sihaya9**_

**Fly Swatting Shirts and Citrus Flavored Showers**

**BPOV**

With the exception of the impending trial that we were all required to testify for, life had settled down and became pretty darn close to perfect, especially with Sellers behind bars.

Edward had made considerable progress getting everything lined up for the new training facility. He was now actively searching for sites near the Chicago area that would be sufficient for their needs.

My kids in the ID wing had all either been released sometime in February, or were scheduled to be released within the next week or so, pending clean sputum cultures. On top of that, I was beginning to round in other areas of Pediatrics in the afternoons, only having to go spend quality time in the pit during my week of graveyard shifts. Even then, I would slip away on slow nights to check on the kids. It didn't take me very long to discover that my passion really did lie in pediatric medicine.

Rock Band nights had been the shot in the arm that Dooley's really needed. Ever since it was started, business had picked up even beyond what it had been before the economic crisis. The first round of the contest had been completed and now we were down to ten bands.

Going into the first round, we tried to do our best to keep things as fair as possible. We made sure to have a balance of talent every night, making sure to put the Knights on a different night than the Femmes. The popularity of our two groups had become insane. If there was such a thing as Rock Band superstars, we were nearly it.

We provided a week between round one and round two, allowing the bands to come in during the spanning week to practice on stage, getting as comfortable as possible before the beginning the next round. Round two was going to be similar to round one, except it would be two bands randomly chosen from the remaining bands to go head to head each night. The ones with the most votes at the end of the night would go on to the finals that would take place the following Friday.

The boys had won their first round on Monday night, all quite smug at the groupies they had amassed over the course of the last few months.

Any night that the boys played, they had a group of about 40 chicks all wearing screen printed baby tees that said 'KK's Kitties' on the front. Each also had their favorite band member's name on the back.

At first, the girls and I were furious. Then, the more we watched them try their best to gain our boys' attentions and being ignored almost completely, it became less infuriating and more hilarious. They would flaunt around their inflated chests, the thin material of their cheesy little tee shirts straining against them, while our boys eyed us seductively from the stage, hardly noticing the 'kitties' were there at all. Okay, well they were red blooded males, and sometimes they couldn't help but glance, but they all knew where their bread was buttered. The skanks didn't stand a chance in hell.

The whole thing was more than a little ridiculous actually. First of all, who in their right minds would prance around Chicago in any shirt with three capital K's standing out on their chests…talk about begging for a drive by if they wandered into the wrong neighborhood. *(see A/N below if confused) Then, if you add to that, the fact that they chose Kitties...I mean come on, what a sad attempt to blatantly promise loose 'pussy' with such a weak analogy.

At any rate, the hussies would scream and swoon when the boys took the stage, acting like they were the freaking Beetles at the height of their fame in the sixties or something. Things started getting worse when a startling trend of the tiny tee shirts getting shorter and shorter every week began and Alice declared war.

The night of the boys' first round performance, Alice showed up at my apartment with a box of shirts. She rummaged through the cloth inside, tossing one to each of us.

I opened the shirt tossed to me, unable to suppress my laughter. In massive letters across the front of our shirts was written 'Owners of The Kevlar Knights...' and on the back each had a slightly different completion of the statement, but mine said '...anyone caught trespassing on EDWARD will be bitch slapped. Proof of ownership can be found on my left ring finger."

The girls and I howled as Alice ordered us to don the shirts, which were not dissimilar to the ones the girls wore. She took scissors to the necklines and tied the hems up to show a sliver of our midriffs without disturbing the words. Rosalie's shirt was the only one not given this treatment, since hers was a maternity shirt already designed to hang sexily off of one shoulder.

Once the shirts were on and paired with skinny jeans for those of us not carrying a large fetus along our waistline, Alice set about making us over with sexy eyes and hairstyles that displayed our shirts. Once we were all ready to go, we walked to Dooley's in a huddled group, trying to banish the freezing cold with long wool dress coats and body heat.

We arrived strategically late, settling into the back just before our boys took the stage. Peeling off our coats quietly, we settled at a table, waiting patiently for the current group to finish their last song and leave the stage.

The Emcee took the stage, announcing the next band. Instantly, the hoochie crew crowded the stage with squeals. They set about the process of skanking it up, adjusting their boobs to plump their cleavage, and hiking up their shirts to expose tramp stamps above their low rise jeans and bejeweled belly button rings attached to their navels.

The boys took the stage and the noise went supersonic. The groupies screamed at the top of their lungs, bouncing up and down in a wave of multicolored hairstyles. Edward stepped up to the microphone, as everyone else got settled with their instruments, thanking everyone for coming out and supporting the competition and Dooley's.

All four sets of eyes roamed the crowd in search of us, looking disappointed not to catch sight of their girls. Just as they were about to give up, Alice shot us the signal. As a group, we stood while Alice whistled. The whole room looked our direction.

Edward's eyes caught mine, twinkling amusedly. His sexy pink tongue slipped out to slowly lick his lips behind the microphone. "There you are. Now we're ready to start!"

The groupies looked back and forth between the boys, who had their eyes scope locked on the four of us. Then they turned back to our table, where we glared at them, pointing at the words on our shirts before turning around and showing them the backs.

We heard loud laughter when we turned back around to see our boys bent over with red faces, shaking their heads slowly. They each mouthed silent oaths of affection to us before settling the crowd and starting their set.

The girls and I tried to stay away from doing a full set all from one band, worried that our set might get stagnate, but these boys could totally pull it off. The night's set consisted of the Three Days Grace songs, _Animal I Have Become, _followed by _Never Too Late, _and _Pain._They sucked the crowd in up front with the first song, keeping them right there the whole time, even through the ballad like songs.

Edward drove me wild every night he worked the stage, his velvet voice filling the room through the sound system, but tonight it was much worse than usual. Between a four day trip to visit a few reputable training facilities around the country, and my week of graveyards during the days right before he left, I was woefully horny. Saying that I was desperate for this night to be over so I could steal my fiancé and take him home to do wonderfully dirty things with him, would be a gross understatement.

The boys told us earlier in the week that the songs they had chosen were purely based on how much they rocked and had nothing to do with us, or our relationships. Just as Edward and I had used songs to communicate early on, we had been trading messages with the boys via our performances on most Rock Band nights. We were so grateful of the abundance of choices available for download online. The contest would have been more than boring if we had been limited to the tracks on the original game.

The words of the songs might not have been meant to send a message to us, but the burning desire that would take over Edward's face and eyes when he looked away from the crowd to focus on me, was more like an entire novel of erotic promises.

I watched them wrap up the last song, reveling in the fact that Edward had done amazingly well in physical therapy and was back to nearly one hundred percent. Suddenly, daydreams of the shower sex we had both been teasing each other about popped into my mind. I could feel the devious smile spread across my face while I watched Edward singing toward the hoochies in front of the stage about pain, sweat beginning to bead on his face. I loved the face that for them they got pain, but every time he started singing lines of promise, like 'take my hands and when the lights go out you'll understand,' his eyes were back on me.

I debated through the middle of the song, but then I just went with the impulse. The next time he looked at me and saw my smile, he lifted his eyebrows in question. I winked, mouthing the word 'shower,' while gesturing between him and me. His reaction to my suggestion was both good and bad. The good was that Edward's eyes grew incredibly dark and predatory, sending chills down my back. The bad was the fact that I nearly cost them the semifinals, because Edward totally forgot where he was and missed the first two words of the next chorus.

In the long run, it didn't hurt them, though. Once they left the stage, our four boys made beelines directly for us, immediately wrapping their significant others in their arms and placing demanding kisses on our mouths. I chuckled as the realization hit that I must not have been the only one doing a little teasing.

We all settled into our seats, Edward insisting I sit on his lap. We sat and chatted while we waited for the votes to be counted; all the while Edward's hands roamed the exposed flesh of my waist, teasing along the top of my jeans under the table, and then ghosting them just under the swell of my breasts under my shirt. Thankfully, everyone else was preoccupied, or else there might have been trouble, if Emmett had seen what he was up to.

Half an hour later, the votes were counted and it was announced that Kevlar Knights and Deviant Destiny, a band who looked and sounded a whole lot like AFI, would go on to the semifinals. As soon as the announcement was made, Edward had me wrapped in my coat and was dragging me out the door. I tried to call goodbyes to everyone at the table. They all laughed and shooed us off, knowing perfectly well how long we had been separated.

The second we hit the street, Edward grabbed me, kissing me passionately as we stumbled along the sidewalk. After a while, he realized that we weren't making much progress and were only dragging out the time it would take to get back to our place. He did the silliest thing I think I've ever seen. He saw an empty cab and hopped in, dragging me behind him.

He only took the time necessary to blurt the address to the driver before he pulled me against him again, kissing me with reckless abandon, while his hands roamed across my flesh behind the private confines of my dress coat.

A few minutes later, we pulled in front of our building. Edward grabbed a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket and tossed it to the guy, allowing him to keep the change on our six dollar fare.

He quickly tugged me out of the car and ran toward the building. Waving hi to George, he pulled us quickly through the lobby to the elevator. He didn't even wait for the door to close before pushing me against the back wall, grabbing me by the ass, and lifting me up so he didn't have to bend down to kiss me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he ground into me against the wall. He continued to kiss me in desperation, allowing one hand to roam my body, while the other continued to support my body weight.

When we reached our floor, he returned both hands to my ass to support me as he walked down the hall. Never breaking our kiss, he leaned me against the wall by the door while he fiddled with his keys, trying to unlock it. Once it opened, we tumbled through the doorway. He barely even got it closed before he carried me directly to our bedroom, tossing me on the bed.

He began tearing at his own clothes while I removed my coat and started to take off my own, but he stopped me, asking to allow him the honor. He removed my shoes and jeans first before crawling on top of me. He rolled us over, helping me straddle him. He ripped my shirt over my head, and then leaned up to attack the newly exposed skin above the demi cup bra I wore underneath.

I got completely lost in the pleasure as we explored each other with hands and mouths; with so much excitement that you would have almost thought it was our first time. Before I knew it, we were both naked and he was pulling me down onto him, earning a deep groan from both of us, as my body stretched to accommodate his entire length.

"Wait, I thought we were going to do the shower," I whimpered when he gripped my hips and lifted me slowly and lowered me back down again briskly.

"Ugh, baby, I haven't been able to feel you for a whole fucking week. Trust me; we'll probably do it at least one more time before we make it to the shower, where I'll most certainly make it worth your while."

"Ugh! Oh Fuck! Edward! Shit, I'm already there, baby!"

He moaned in response. "Good baby, cum for me. I want to feel you."

I screamed as my orgasm hit with a force unlike anything I had felt in a long time. Other than the time Edward had been in the hospital, we had never gone more than a couple of days without sex. It had been difficult this time to go so long without release, but oh man did the making up for lost time sex relieve the accumulated tension.

I climaxed two more times during round one, Edward shifting our position after each one until he roared out in his own pleasure, pounding into me from above. We had a short break before round two, after which we passed out for a few hours before waking up and moving to the shower for round three.

Actually, it was I who did the waking. My eyes popped open at four in the morning, feeling Edward's hard length pressed between my thighs as he spooned behind me, arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, nose buried in my hair. My body shifted in response to the stimulus, my core already longing to be invaded by his prominent erection again.

My movements must have registered in his sleep. He moaned huskily in my ear and his hips shifted back and forth, drawing his silken steel between my thighs, mingling with my wetness that was beginning to pool. I reached my hand behind me to run through his hair, moaning his name. His motions increased as his lips pressed past my hair to latch onto my neck, kissing and sucking gently.

Not wanting to get too into what we were doing, I sat up quickly, throwing back the bedding with a giggle. He whined at the loss of my body, blinking blearily at me when I grabbed his hand, tugging him to sit up and follow me.

I walked backward toward the bathroom, keeping my eyes on his as we walked.

"You promised me shower sex, Mr. Cullen. I think now is the perfect time to collect."

Edward grinned brightly at me, pulling my body flush with his as we stumbled the last few feet to the bathroom doorway.

I hit the bathroom lights when we entered, effectively blinding the both of us for a few seconds. We groaned, shielding our eyes. My eyes adjusted more quickly than Edward's, so I pulled loose of his grasp and began to set the room up. Within a few moments, I crossed to the shower and turned on the tap, adjusting the power and heat settings.

I turned back to Edward, wrapping my body around his, and placing deep teasing kisses on his mouth while we waited for the water to reach optimal temperature. Once the water had time to heat, I released his lips from mine to pull him into the stall with me, to the luxurious heat of the multi headed shower.

We were both wide awake now; matching predatory looks graced our faces as we smirked at one another through the thick white steam. We leapt forward at the same time, meeting in the middle with passionate kisses. My hands flew directly to his damp hair, tugging roughly, as his found my ass and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist, anchoring my body to his. His fingers kneaded my flesh greedily, rubbing me up and down his hard, ready length; I continued to attack his mouth.

Edward took a few steps forward, bracing me against one of the cool tile walls, freeing one of his hands to move up my body and grasp my breast, tugging roughly at my nipple. I gasped and arched my back in reaction. His mouth now free from my eager kisses, he immediately tipped down to take my nipple in his mouth with a moan, grazing it with his teeth, earning a scream from my lips.

There was a ledge built into the shower right about mid chest height in the position I was currently in. Edward nipped at my nipple again as I moaned and released his hair to brace my forearms on the ledge to help hold my weight. Never stopping his agonizing torture of my flesh, he looked up at me with his smoldering green eyes and smiled.

I watched while gasping as he slowly slid down my torso, lapping at the drops of water that were steadily collecting on my flesh along the way, until he was on his knees before me, hooking my knees over his shoulder. Reaching over the tops of my thighs, he began to slide his fingers slowly up and down my slit, holding my lips open to expose myself completely to him.

He moaned deeply, the vibrations making my legs shake excitedly, as he leaned in and clamped his mouth on me, sucking hard and teasing his tongue along the flesh incased between his lips. His fingers worked my clit while his mouth worked the rest of me, making my moans and screams hit pitches that I feared might break all of the glass in the room. I tried not to thrash considering our precarious position, instead settling for tossing my head back and forth. A fit of curse words that would make someone suffering a very bad case of Tourette's sound dignified erupted from my body as I exploded with a flash of lights blinding me behind my eyelids.

Edward smiled up at me with smug eyes, waiting for me to regain control of my trembling limbs before moving my legs off of his shoulder and helping me lower myself to the floor. My arms were screaming from the pressure I had put on them. Edward seemed to notice and frowned, massaging them gently before kissing the angry red indentions that were left in the bottom of my forearms.

He reached for the soap and began to wash me down gently before turning me and using his hands to assist the water in rinsing me. Once he finished with my skin, he turned me gently and ran his fingers through my hair, making sure it was completely wet, before smoothing my shampoo through it. He rinsed it thoroughly before repeating with my conditioner.

Once he finished with me, I did the same for him, except I made him sit on the bench in the corner so I could reach his wild bronze mop. He hummed, leaning forward to rest his forehead against my chest, as I scrubbed his scalp gently with my nails. He turned, nuzzling is nose into my right breast while I smoothed his hair back and reached behind me to rinse my hands.

I helped him stand and rinse his hair. Unable to resist the draw of his toned chest glistening with water from the shower, I wrapped myself around his waist and proceeded to lick and kiss the hills and valleys of his chest and abs. During the time since his accident, he had not been able to work out enough to keep the ripped look he had before, but I didn't mind at all. His muscles were still well toned and oh so sexy, and I personally appreciated that his muscles no longer felt like solid rock under my hands.

He moaned when I drifted my way along his abs, flicking my tongue teasingly at his belly button and grazing my nose back and forth across his happy trail until I was on my knees in front of him, face to shaft with his bouncing erection. I slid my hand up and down gently before I took a slow lick from base to tip, twirling my tongue around the head a bit. I watched through my lashes as his jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed in concentration. I knew he got a special thrill from watching while I serviced him.

After teasing with my tongue a bit more, I opened my mouth and slowly slid him between my lips, tipping my head up to watch his reactions through my lashes. I took him all the way to the back of my throat before hollowing my cheeks and pulling slowly back again. He cursed loudly and melted against the wall behind him as I leaned forward and did it again; only this time I relaxed my throat taking him deeper.

"Holy Fucking Hell, Bella! Oh, Fuck! You are Fucking Amazing, Baby!" Edward screamed, wrapping my hair in his hands and massaging my scalp as I moved him in and out of my mouth.

After a few seconds I felt him tug on my hair as he gasped. I stopped and looked up into the animalistic fire in his eyes.

"Stop baby, I need to fuck you. I need to be inside you. Come here."

I followed his directions; he helped me to stand and pulled me by the hand to the seat in the corner of the shower. He sat down and turned me to stand facing away from him. His hands grabbed my hips, pulling me closer before they drifted between my legs. He teased me with his fingers before they plunged in, earning a deep moan from me.

He continued to tease me with his fingers while using his other hand to spread my legs and then tugging me to straddle his lap. I felt his lips and tongue caressing the flesh of my lower back while his free hand drifted up to caress my breast. I closed my eyes, lost in the sensations, my noises growing louder.

Then, suddenly, his fingers left me and clamped onto my hip as he stood up behind me, entering me deeply. I yelped in surprise before it morphed into a long deep moan. His hand moved back in front assaulting my clit, he began to piston into me roughly, groaning into my neck between kisses and nibbles.

I could feel my body tightening. The pitch of my whines grew higher again as Edward bit down on the juncture between my neck and shoulder. I exploded around him, screaming his name. The second my body clamped on his, he joined me with another roar, followed by a series of loud grunts as he thrust into me hard with several loud smacks. He pulled out of me and collapsed on the seat behind him, bringing me with him to sit on his lap.

We panted together, Edward kissing my neck and shoulder tenderly. After several minutes, I turned to sit sideways on his lap, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing him lovingly.

"Fuck baby, just when I think we've hit our peak, you always seem to make things better. I love you so fucking much, Bella."

I smiled at him. "I love you too," I grated in response, my voice weak from all of the screaming.

He chuckled and reached for the bar of soap helping me wash up again before doing the same for himself. He helped me out of the shower, drying me off first before taking care of his own body. We stumbled back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed in a tangle of arms and legs, feeling fully sated.

Apparently absence not only makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes the orgasms more abundant once reunited!

The rest of the week, we continued to make up for lost time every chance we got. It was almost like we were suddenly no longer taking our time together for granted, at least for the time being.

O~O~O

Work went well the rest of the week and as I made my way through the Pediatrics unit, I found myself eventually working with Mr. McDreamy, Dan McDonal himself. Poor Dan had joined the staff the same day as Trevor and his friend Chris, who ironically disappeared the same time Trevor did. Apparently he was also involved in the medical grade drug trafficking that was Trevor's bread and butter.

Krista hadn't been wrong about Dan either. He really was a salt of the earth type guy, genuine and kind, nearly to a fault. I only say this because I found in spending time working with him, that he was totally being run over by several of his coworkers, which really ticked me off. I hated watching good, caring people being mistreated, but as an intern, there wasn't a whole heck of a lot I could do about it. It was more than a little frustrating.

It was a good week for Edward too. Mid-week of the first round of the competition, he got official paperwork back from the state with the permits to go ahead with the training facility. At this point, all that was left to do was find the land, build whatever was necessary, and find the remainder of his staff and get them all trained as instructors. I couldn't help but be ecstatic at how happy Edward seemed. As things became more and more solid, the more relaxed and content Edward seemed to become, and the more excited he got for our wedding. I swear he was more into checking with his mom about the plans than I was.

Thankfully, Esme was living up to her promise. After the first week of unexpected calls about details, the calls seemed to drop off considerably. I suspected that Edward probably had a talk with her and started taking on the duties himself, but where I felt bogged down by the details, he seemed to get a kick out of them. It seemed weird to see my strong SWAT fiancé discussing tablecloths with his mom, but they both seemed happy. I think it gave them an excuse to spend more quality time together.

The second round of the Rock Band contest went well. We teased the boys with Jessica Simpson's _Irresistable_ on Tuesday night in the middle of our three song set. They teased right back Thursday night with Nickelback's _Animals._ As expected, both of our bands made it to the finals, along with Tanya's band The Human Incubators. There was also an all girl band who pretty much did their best to stick it to us while attempting to seduce our boys with Pussycat Dolls and Britney Spears, known as Pussycat Playgirls, a girl group that stuck with angsty cheating songs called Power to the V, who tied with the skank-a-hoes, and a really great group of guys with the inventive name PEN15. In talking with them after the show on Wednesday, we had to laugh to hear that their parents were still blissfully ignorant that Pen fifteen looked quite differently when put on a poster in full caps and numbers.

We had a meeting with all of the bands who made it to the finals on Monday night to arrange for practice times and to give everyone opportunities to create profiles and characters to represent them during the contest on the big screen. We thought it would be cool to actually have the characters be representations of each band member. Thanks to the tie making the finals have six bands instead of five, we chose to cut the set lists to two songs per group. We hated to do it because we had an awesome set picked out, but if we didn't then it would start to get too long.

The meeting went well and everyone was enthusiastic, although Edward and the guys did have to keep the girls and me from mutilating a few of the skanks from the Playgirl band when they pushed our buttons a little too hard. It annoyed the hell out of us that they made the finals, but we were determined to make this contest impartial, and apparently we did a good job.

Once we had the contest practice schedule squared away, we all went back to Emmett and Rose's place to hang out for a while and just relax. We had done all we could to get ready, now we just had to sit back and enjoy the ride.

_**Okay guys, I want to hear your thoughts. Next chapter: Rock Band Finals!**_

_***Oh, also in the event that perhaps some readers live in another country and aren't acquainted with the significance of the KKK on the girl's shirts possibly getting them shot. I am ashamed to admit that there was a time in this nation's history that a white supremacist organization called the Klu Klux Klan (KKK) did unspeakable things to the African American population in our country. They treated them like slaves, and were particularly known for delving out their own form of justice in the medium of lynchings and would send signals to individuals they thought were overstepping their bounds by burning crosses in their front yards. It was horrific. The worst of it seemed to die out in the late sixties/early seventies, but in some places the organization still survives today, but are not as openly active. At any rate, Chicago has a significant African American population and let's just say that wearing a shirt with those letters, whether or not they signify the actual organization, would still gain A LOT of negative attention. I thought I should mention that in case some readers were confused about that in the chapter.**_


	53. Rock On

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the characters or any of the songs in this chapter. NO copyright infringement intended.**

_**So this is it, the big final competition and once I got started it just flowed out in no time! Hope you enjoy it! Reviews are greatly hoped for!**____**A link for all of the Rock Band Finale songs: **_.com/view_play_list?p=2A797C5A372D684C

Also, You can't get a good appreciation of Alice and Bella's outfits by description alone. So here's a link to the wardrobes I put together on Polyvore. .com/rock_band_finals/set?id=12493484

_**A special thanks to my beta Sihaya9 for working on this during her tropical Caribbean vacation. I don't know if I should hug her for doing this while on vacay or throttle her! LOL! I think I'll go with the hug though...love ya sweets!**_

_**Also mega thanks to our validation beta, Sassenach Wench.**_

**Rock On**

**BPOV**

I stumbled out of the bedroom to find Edward lounging casually on the couch, reading the paper. Stupid guys, they don't take all day to get ready for stuff like girls do…especially girls who are friends with pixie who have a flair for fashion fascism. (Try saying that three times fast.)

I heaved my duffel bag to the doorway and crossed the room to slither onto the couch next to him, snuggling into his warm, fragrant chest.

"Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go!"

He chuckled, burying his nose in my hair, and wrapping his warm arms around me, hugging me close. "Well, love, since the whole thing was your brainchild, I don't really think you can get by with skipping."

I sighed and shifted to hide my nose in his neck. "You do realize that if the skank girls pull what I think they're planning then you're going to have to physically restrain me, right?"

He chuckled and nodded. My anger had already begun to smolder under the surface.

Mama D had tugged us girls aside last night during our practice time, warning us that the ho patrol were practicing some pretty demeaning songs that she was pretty sure were directed toward us and our boys. I grumbled and then had to table my anger in order to calm down the extremely emotional Rosalie, who was ready to go hunt them down and rip off their heads just from Mama's warning.

We thanked Mama and went home to take one last look at the schedule for the next day and review our orders from Alice of where to be and when, before straggling home around midnight to our respective boys.

"So when are you boys meeting up?"

"Uh, about an hour before it starts, as per Alice's instructions. Jazz is coming by pretty soon to hang here and play video games since you guys are all going to be descending on their place. Ali ordered him to disappear and not reappear until he has to be at Dooley's."

I laughed, kissing his neck. "Yup, sounds like Ali alright. I guess from what I understand, we're only doing hair and makeup now. Ali has acquired Mama D's break room for us to change into our stage outfits while Tanya's band plays. So it'll be just before we're due on stage…something about surprise and shock value."

"So, am I going to be shocked?" He asked as his eyes drooped a bit and his sexy crooked smirk peeked up at me.

I sighed, "You know I'm not allowed to divulge that information, Mr. Cullen. You'll just have to wait and see." I shook my head with a groan.

Edward laughed, "That bad huh?"

I shrugged, rolling myself on top of him to straddle his waist. "I guess you'll have to let me know when you see me."

I leaned forward and kissed his lips, meaning for it to be short and sweet, but my sexy as hell fiancé had other ideas. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, pulling me tightly to him, as his mouth opened and his tongue slipped out to press into mine.

I moaned when his hips ground up against mine in delicious friction. I let him continue for a few minutes before I whimpered and pulled away.

"You are so mean; you know we don't have time for that! I have to go. The pixie's already going to have my head for being a late."

He groaned and leaned up to rest his forehead against mine. Rubbing my back gently, he kissed my lips twice, softly. "Fine, but tonight I get you all to myself, okay?"

I grinned and nodded before standing up and making my way toward the door, hefting my heavy duffel bag with me. Just as I reached the door to open it, I heard a gentle knock.

I swung the door open to find Jasper smiling at me, shaking his head. "You're a dead woman, you know that right?"

"That bad?"

He snorted. "You're just lucky she got distracted with Rose and Krista. Maybe, if you're lucky, she won't kill you too brutally."

I grimaced with a whine and he laughed again.

"Get going, Bellarina, or it will just be worse."

"Bellarina?" I called behind me, walking backwards down the hallway.

He shrugged, "I dunno, just came to me."

I shook my head with a chuckle before spinning to sprint down the hallway toward the elevator.

Fifteen minutes late,r I was sprinting up the hallway toward Jasper and Alice's place. My fist only made contact with the door once when it flew open to reveal an incensed Alice glaring at me from the other side.

"It's about time, Bella! We're going to be late now because of you!"

"Oh come on, Ali, the rest of the acts aren't supposed to be there until an hour before opening. We have three hours before then, there's plenty of time."

"Yes, but we have to get your hair set, your makeup on, and then we have to haul and lay out our outfits and use the portable steamer on them if they get wrinkled. Then we have to double check the sound, lights, and the projectors to make sure everything is ready."

Alice had been working overtime the past few weeks on making everything perfect, even going so far as to hire a professional lighting crew to come in and 'design lighting' for each of the groups for the contest. She also invested in another big screen that sat above the crowd for the contestants to use to play the songs.

"Okay, well, standing here talking isn't going to get me ready any faster. I'm yours to mold." I said firmly with my arms spread wide, hoping that my unfettered willingness to let her do whatever she wished would calm the sprite's fury.

She pulled me by my arm, nearly yanking it out of socket with her freakish strength. She slammed me into a chair in the middle of her living room where she set about tugging at my hair, curling and teasing. I cringed at the thought of trying to comb it back out at the end of the night.

After the use of nearly two cans of hairspray to complete my coif, she set to task slathering me with makeup. I glanced at Rose and Krista, marveling at the dramatic effect the makeup and hair had on their appearance, wondering if I would look just as different.

Forty minutes after my arrival, I was finally allowed to rise from the chair and take a peek in the bathroom mirror. I stood there blinking a few times in surprise. My hair was full of volume, but wasn't early nineties big by any means. It actually just sort of looked windblown with a touch of sex hair added in. This was basically my equivalent of Edward hair.

My makeup was dramatic, but in a really cool way. I had red lips, dark eyeshadow and eyeliner that came out past the outer corner of my eye. The liner ended at the same point as the eye shadow she applied, following the line of my brow out and thus making my eyes look much bigger and almost almond shaped. The eye shadow was a reddish tint and then dusted with a silver sparkle powder so that my eyes sort of shimmered in the light.

I pictured the hair and makeup with the somewhat over the top rocker outfit Alice had picked out for me and smiled. No matter how we sounded tonight, we were totally going to look the part of bad ass rocker chicks.

We arrived at Dooley's an hour before the rest of the acts were supposed to turn up. Alice immediately disappeared to take care of all of the tasks she listed, leaving the rest of us to sit at a table and get nervous.

"Dan's coming tonight to watch us," Krista mumbled as she fiddled with the mixed drink in her hand, which was supplied by an equally nervous Mama D. "What if he thinks I look stupid, or I look slutty, or something."

Rose and I scoffed, Krista was the most conservative of us all, and that was saying something coming from me. Her outfit for the night was a pair of skinny jeans with a shimmery tank top under a sheer, long sleeve button up shirt. Originally, Alice was going to get her to swap the pants for a skirt and was going to talk her out of the long sleeve cover up, but Krista adamantly refused. She was already stepping out of her comfort zone as it was.

"Krista, you don't have it in you to be slutty, sweetheart. Trust me; I've been working a lot with Dan lately. That boy is head over heels for you. He's going to love the hell out of seeing you up there tonight."

"Ugh, I hope so," Krista said, dipping her head and blushing brightly. She was the one person who actually rivaled me in the blushing department.

"At least your future in-laws aren't going to be watching you strut around the stage in fish net hose and a short dress!" I dropped my head to the table with a groan, thinking of Carlisle and Esme watching our performance. "How did Alice talk me into this again?"

Suddenly the DJ who would be filling the transition times by spinning tunes cranked his sound system, blasting Prodigy's Breathe. Rose, Krista, and I covered our ears and grimaced a second before he brought the sound back down some.

The longer we waited, the more anxious I became. I hated singing in front of people. It wasn't so bad when it was just my boys. Then we started singing here to help out Mama and I was not great about it, but I tolerated it. But as time continued and the popularity of the RB nights increased, so did the number of people in the audience. Add Carlisle and Esme to that, and I was starting to feel very uncomfortable with our song choices, as well as my outfit for the night.

The rest of the groups arrived right on time. We all gathered for one last meeting. Our boys all came and sat with us, arms restraining us surreptitiously from jumping up and wailing on the Playgirls. The skanky slutbots smirked at us from across the table. They were decked out in multi colored leather pants with matching leather bustiers cinching their boobs nearly up to their chins. They looked ridiculous and plastic, and yet, they were the ones smirking at us because we were still wearing our Juicy track suits. One would think that they would have figured out that we planned on changing before we went on stage, but then again, they weren't exactly rocket scientists.

Once the meeting was adjourned, with finalized set lists for the Emcee who would make sure that the songs were ready to go when the next band hit the stage, Edward pulled me aside with a sly smile.

"I'm assuming these aren't the outfits right?"

"Yep," I deadpanned, "we thought we'd do the unexpected and go casual chic." I rolled my eyes and he snorted.

"We're going to change after your set while Tanya's group plays. Hopefully two songs will be long enough to change. If not, then the DJ can always cover for a few minutes until we're ready."

He nodded and tugged me with him to the bar to get drinks. We settled in at our reserved table on the raised mezzanine area to the left of the stage that was just close enough to flirt during our sets. There were definitely perks to being the organizers of an event like this.

The boys had been bragging all week that they were going to blow us away. Edward told me later that same night that first they were going to make us all hot and bothered, and then they were going to sweep us off our feet. I smiled to myself, knowing I was going to do him even one better. I had every intention of making him hot and then making him even hotter! I know…I'm evil.

The room started to fill in quickly and the heat began to rise. Ten minutes till show time, PEN15 took the stage. They adjusted their guitar straps one last time and made sure everything was ready. They really were a cool group of guys and almost ringers since they actually were a band just getting started in town. We let them in anyway, knowing Rock Band is really different from actually playing, but it probably did give them an advantage.

At nine on the dot, Mama D took the stage with the Emcee. She thanked everyone for coming and handed over the floor to the professional. He introduced the band, intentionally not mentioning their status as a band, which we were saving for the end, once voting was completed.

The guys took the stage to loud cheers and the lead singer, Kevin, stepped up to the microphone, thanking everyone and explaining that they were honored to be part of the event before breaking out in a set of Seether songs. They started off with _Remedy_, making all of us feel quite inferior as they rocked the hell out of it. It was no surprise that they were a real band. Kevin led the group with an intensity that rivaled the original band.

The crowd went wild jumping up and down as the band played it up for them, their instruments shimmering in the blinking colored lights that fit perfectly with the song. It was like being at a real concert. Alice had definitely outdone herself.

The second song of their set was _Breakdown_. Kevin's smooth voice rang out across the room in the slower melody of the song. The audience swayed with the beat, lifting flaming lighters and lit cell phones above their heads.

"Holy Hell, we may have just lost!" Emmett yelled over the music across the table to the rest of us. We all nodded quietly in reply.

I leaned my back against Edward. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, swaying to the music.

Their set ended to loud, nearly deafening cheers. The guys looked pleasantly surprised. They thanked everyone and left the stage.

The DJ started spinning filler music while the Emcee took the stage to log in the profiles for the next group, which happened to be the Pussycat Playgirls. There was no way they would look even close to decent after following PEN15's kick ass performance. It wasn't my fault that the _random_ drawing managed to place them behind the awesome boy band…

They took the stage with their heads held high, their hips swaying a little too much in their super high wedges. The lead singer, Jessica, took the microphone as the rest of the girls got set up with their guitars and drums. I growled again when Jessica glanced up at our table with a devious smile that made me want to throw up.

From the beginning, I recognized Jessica and one other girl from the band as being women who Edward had left with in the past. Odds were that the other two were ones I didn't know about. I tried to push past it, but it was hard as hell when they shoved it in my face every night.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat into his lap where he buried his nose in my neck, kissing it gently.

"I'm sorry, baby. You don't even know how sorry I am."

I nodded and turned toward him, burying my fingers in his hair for solace. "I know, sweetheart. Doesn't change the fact that they make me sick. I want to go down there and rip their nasty ass extensions from their heads."

He groaned and hugged my waist tighter, kissing my neck in distraction.

The girl on guitar hit the key, taking them into the song. I growled, nostrils flaring, as Jessica started singing Avril Lavigne's _Girlfriend _right at Edward.

Edward groaned and tightened his grip on my waist, pulling me closer. My fingers dug into the table top. I felt my muscles tense and try to lunge for the stage, but his arms held me tightly in place. I felt his breath on my ear as he spoke.

"Bella, baby, calm down. Don't let her get to you. She's looking for a reaction. Don't give her what she wants. The girl is nasty and there's no way I'd ever leave you for her…not in a million years…not for all of the money in the world…not for everlasting blowjobs."

I chuckled and settled back a little when I felt one of his hands let go of my waist and trail up and down my leg. I turned to look at him and he smirked.

"I love you, Dr. Cullen. Don't forget that's my ring you have on your left ring finger. It is there for a reason. Never again will any other woman get near my dick. You know that."

I sighed and rested my head against his forehead as we completely ignored the ridiculous plastic Barbie wannabe crooning below.

Edward's hand that was grazing my thigh slid up my torso, fluttering past my breast to cup my jaw. He leaned forward and claimed my lips in a deep, loving kiss. I sighed into his mouth and then snickered when I heard Jessica flub up the chorus.

The band went on to sing _I Touch Myself _by the Devinyls. Jessica had given up on Edward after her fuck up, focusing her attention instead on the copious amounts of guys on the floor in front of the stage drooling up at her. She got into it, running her hands across her breasts and between her legs, making us girls gag.

The guys being guys gulped and shifted, but then purposefully looked away, earning kisses from us girls. I mean, it was a girl groping herself on stage, we couldn't expect them to be totally immune.

We were all relieved to have the skanks off the stage, and happy to have them replaced with Power to the V. They were dressed cute, but not slutty. They once again had a set of girl power, guy bashing songs that made us girls cheer. They started off with Kelly Clarkson's _Since You've Been Gone_, hitting it out of the park as the lead singer, Brandy's, voice rang strong and true.

The boys left us while they transitioned to the second song of their set to get organized down by the stage. The girls earned screams when their next song began. The four of us, along with Andrea, jumped up, bouncing along as they sang Pink's _So What._

They finished off to a roar of applause and I leaned over to the girls.

"Well, Damn, I think I might just have to vote for THEM! I get the feeling, ladies, that we might not win this thing after all!"

They laughed and agreed.

The Emcee took the stage announcing our boys, and the KKK groupies crowded the stage, shoving and pushing like they were after the last pair of Manolos at a fire sale. The girls and I stood at the banister of the mezzanine level laughing at the insanity brewing below as extensions went flying above the crowd. Krista settled back at the table with Dan, cuddling closely while he told her how pretty she was looking.

Once they were set up, the boys looked up and blew us kisses before Edward stood in front of the microphone, smiling at the audience.

"We'd like to dedicate these songs tonight to our beautiful ladies standing up there on the mezzanine level," he pointed up at us. "This night was all thanks to their amazing ideas and hard work. They are the loves of our lives and we couldn't be prouder. Ladies," he wiggled his eyes at me suggestively, "the next two songs are for you and you alone!"

Andy hit the button opening up the screen for them to begin. I moaned "Oh my Hell," when Edward started crooning Saving Abel's _Addicted._

I leaned against the banister and moaned as he crooned up at me with his crooked grin. When he sang the line "I'm so addicted to the things you do when you're going down on me between the sheets," I grinned and licked my lips suggestively before sucking on my finger, causing his eyes to flutter and his jaw to tighten.

The girls and I giggled and swooned while our boys serenaded us. They must have practiced a hell of a lot, because they barely even looked up at the screen. They looked at the crowd occasionally, but there was no denying they were singing to us.

The crowd roared and we clapped, jumping up and down when they were done. We blew them kisses, yelling down promises for later that night. I was pretty sure every single one of those boys was going to get lucky tonight!

They ended the song and transitioned to the next, shocking the hell out of us when they started crooning _Never Gonna Be Alone _by Nickelback. The intensity in Edward's eyes as he sang to me made my eyes tear up. I grabbed a napkin, blotting at them in an attempt to keep from streaking the copious amounts of thick makeup Alice had smeared on me. Damn Pixie!

Their serenade was beautiful, making my heart ache with love and pride as I let the words wash over me. God, I loved that man!

They finished up to a loud applause; Edward thanked the audience and stepped off the stage.

I gripped the railing when I noticed that in spite of the obvious dedication, the fan club still tried to get Edward's attention. I smiled as he politely dismissed himself and strode straight to the stairs up to me.

I waited until he was at the top of the stairs and ran straight for him, hopping into his arms, and kissing his lips deeply.

"I love you! That was amazing. I have to go change now, but if I didn't have to, I would so be molesting you on the dance floor right now."

He laughed and smacked my ass as I ran down to follow the girls to the break room to change.

**EPOV**

The night had gone perfectly so far. Well, almost. If that slut Jessica could disappear off the face of the planet, it would help. I seriously thought Bella might vault right over the railing and onto the stage as Jessica made a pitiful attempt to seduce me using Avril Lavigne of all things…lame and lamer!

I was nervous as we took the stage, announcing so that everyone would make no mistake that Bella was the only woman in the room I was singing this song for. I wanted, first of all, for her to know that she was the only one for me. I also did not want there be any misunderstanding with any other women who might be in the room, whom I had been with in that way before, either.

Bella, as usual, about fucking killed me; licking her lips and sucking on her finger while I sang to her. The girl could be so innocent one minute and a total fucking tiger the next. It seemed that this night was pretty much all tiger.

When we sang the Nickelback song, I had to fight my voice not crack as I watched her dab at the tears while I sang to her that I was never going to let her go. Never, ever, no way, not if the world stopped spinning, and life as we knew it came to a crashing halt, I was never going to let her go ever again if I could help it.

Once the song was over, I had to push through the crowd of vapid girls to get to my Bella. I smiled as she ran up and jumped into my arms, kissing me passionately before running off to change. I had to admit. I was excited to see her performance. The girls had been teasing us all month about how much they were going to knock our socks off.

I turned to make my way back to our table and listen to Tanya's band's set, running smack dab into my parents.

"Mom! Dad! You guys made it!"

They smiled, blushing a little, "Hi, son. Nice job. Is Bella's band going to be up soon?"

I grabbed the bridge of my nose as I realized exactly what they had heard me sing. Not exactly the thing you want to sing with your parent's around. I hadn't even thought about it when we invited them. Oh well, they knew that we lived together and were engaged for fuck's sake, it wasn't a secret we were intimate.

Then the realization hit that they were going to see Bella sing soon. I wondered if she had thought of that, considering what they might have planned. I could just imagine her embarrassment if they did something really over the top, like performing Britney Spears' _Slave 4 U_.

They followed me back to our seat and settled in.

The Emcee introduced the Human Incubators and Tanya stepped to the microphone. "Hi everyone, like we said before, we're just here to have fun. It's been a big couple of years for all of us, so tonight we're ditching the funny and going for the serious. I hope you enjoy it."

The band started in and Mom smiled sweetly down at Tanya's group as they sang Natasha Beddingfield's _Unwritten._Tanya actually did have a good voice, but beyond that, she beamed out at the crowd, speaking of starting over, moving forward, and living your life.

I couldn't help but notice that her eyes often drifted toward a guy at a table on the other side of the stage that she had been talking to before the contest. He had been at the round two performances as well. They seemed to be getting long pretty well. He seemed like a decent guy when I talked to him. I hoped maybe he could be a guy worthy of her time and attention. She deserved a break for once.

The Human Incubators…I loved that name…they rounded out their set with _One Step At A Time_ by Jordin Sparks. It was very appropriate, but by this point, I really wanted my girl to come back out so I could see her.

When they finished, the DJ filled the space between with filler music. I noticed it lasted a little longer than the others. I guess it took longer to change than Bella was hoping. Soon, the Emcee returned to the stage and introduced them as a door to the right of the stage opened and the girls walked out.

Krista was first, blushing as she picked up her guitar to play bass. She seemed pretty conservative, which fit her personality.

Rosalie was next, wearing a red halter top with black leggings and dangerously high, funky looking shoes for a pregnant woman. She seemed pleased though, looking up at Emmett with a huge smile and blowing him a kiss.

Alice followed. Jasper sucked in a deep breath as she strutted onto the stage in a short, tight black dress with silver studs under her breasts. Her legs were encased in some strange bands that went all the way down her legs to very sharp looking, extremely high heeled shoes.

Bella was last. I groaned and stared unabashedly as she jumped up on stage, looking the sexiest of all the girls in a red plaid dress, with a short fluffy skirt, and no sleeves. She had on sheer black stocking with some sort of design and elbow length fishnet fingerless gloves. Finishing it off were a pair of knee high boots with a thick heel that laced all the way to the top. She was the sexiest fucking rocker I'd ever seen!

She took the stage and settled at the microphone, looking up at me with a sexy smile. "Hey everyone! We can't thank you enough for coming and being a part of all of this. It's been such a great experience and it's all thanks to you. A little while ago, our boys took the stage and knocked our socks off with a little serenade. Now we're going to return the favor. Kevlar Knights and Dr. Dan…this is for you!"

They started the song and I sucked in a breath as the driving bass beat started. Bella smiled out at the audience. She stepped closer to the microphone stand, cupping the mic between her hands, as she started crooning down at the audience, making my pants tighten at her voice. She was singing Halestorm's _I Get Off._Oh holy Hell!

Bella grabbed the microphone from the stand and stepped to our side of the stage, looking up at me through her lashes as she sang the chorus. I swallowed hard, shifting in my seat. The woman was trying to kill me.

**I get off on you  
Getting off on me  
I give you what you want  
But nothing is for free  
It's a give and take  
Kinda life we make  
When your line is crossed  
I get off  
I get off**

She looked back down at the audience when she started the second verse, but glanced back with a smirk when she sang the line "it's so much more exciting to look when you can touch." She sang toward the audience again and bent over to finish the verse, singing the words "I know how to twist ya, to bring you to your knees." She finished the line, then leaned all the way up to sing toward the ceiling, but was glancing back down toward me as she did.

The woman was mesmerizing, strutting across the stage, the epitome of sexy and sweet in one beautiful package. I smiled. Her ring glinted in the light, showing the whole room that she was taken. She was MINE!

She continued to sing with intensity, arching her back and then hunching it again during the verses. I watched in amazement and adoration. She was fucking mind-blowing. They reached a break where the guitar had a solo and she stepped over by Alice, pointing at her as Alice sailed through it, not missing a single note.

I glanced over to see that Jasper, Emmett, and Dan were all staring down at their girls with the same glazed eyes. All the girls were all playing it up for their boys and they were soaking it up.

Jasper asked me a question. I leaned over to answer, not noticing that they selected the next song for their set until the first guitar riffs filled the air. My eyes grew wide as saucers.

"Oh fucking hell…she didn't!"

Jasper looked at me confused as I looked back toward Bella, seeing her smirking at me with her lower lip between her teeth. I moaned loudly.

"What?" Jasper asked next to me.

"Trust me, you don't want the answer to that, but that woman is seriously trying to fucking kill me!"

The rest of the instruments joined in to Flyleaf's _All Around Me. I_mages of slipping into Bella for the first time flooded to the forefront of my mind. She was playing so dirty!

Bella looked at me through hooded eyes as she began to croon the song. I gulped, trying to keep my body under control, but with that song, it was nearly impossible. She stretched her hands in front of her and then slowly pulled them back to brush her lips, she continued and I was done for as she clutched her fist to her chest.

**My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you**

**This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you**

**I'm alive, I'm alive**

She smiled and lifted her chin to the ceiling, singing 'I'm alive' before curling in on herself and gently banging her head as she sang the chorus. Emotion thickening her voice, making it husky and irresistible.

**I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing**

When she began the next verse, her hand slowly slid above her body. She reached for the sky before slowly drifting back down to cup her neck as she swung her hips gently from side to side, lost in the music. I couldn't stand it anymore. When she began the chorus for a second time, I got up and started pushing my way down the stairs and through the dance floor toward the stage.

**My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place**

**The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you**

**I'm alive, I'm alive**

**I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing**

**And so I cry**

I watched as she looked up toward where I had been, her brow crinkling in confusion. She hadn't realized before that I had left due to being so wrapped up in the emotion of the song. I suspected she was reveling in her own memories as she thrashed on the stage, reminding me a lot of how she bends in on herself when she comes. I glanced up and saw Jasper looking down, pointing at me. I was almost to the stage.

**The light is white**

Just at the right time, she looked in my direction. I pushed past the last of the crowd to stand in front of the stage. She smiled and pointed as she sang…

**And I see you**

**I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive**

She sang straight at me a moment before gesturing with her finger for me to join her on stage. I frowned as she smiled and nodded. As she continued to sing the chorus, I jumped up on stage with her and stood next to her, smiling and fighting with all my soul to keep my hands off of her.

**I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing**

She smiled and stepped up to my chest, her hand braced against me as she sang the bridge right into my eyes. My heart exploded in my chest…

**Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe**

When she started to sing the next verse, she turned her back to me, leaning against my chest and grabbing my hand, wrapping it around her shoulder. I wound the other around her waist. She leaned her head against my shoulder and sang to the end.

**I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed**

She opened her eyes while she sang the last line and then dropped the microphone to her side. She slipped her other hand around my neck, twisting up to meet my lips with hers. The crowd went wild when we kissed. We broke apart and smiled at each other as I caressed her stomach gently. The sound of the screaming audience finally brought us out of our bubble. We turned and bowed. Bella raised the microphone and thanked everyone.

We stepped back, Bella handing the microphone to Alice, who stepped forward to tell everyone to settle back and relax while the DJ spun some tunes. The bar was going to have a special during the vote count. The audience had twenty minutes to submit their ballots. The results were scheduled to be read in an hour, after one more song from the Femmes.

The second we were free, I tugged Bella through the door that the girls had emerged from by the stage and slammed it behind us. I lifted her up, pushing her against it with her legs wrapped around my waist as I assaulted her mouth.

"You played dirty, Dr. Cullen…"

She pouted a little with puppy dog eyes. I laughed.

"…but I like it when you're dirty."

She smiled and bit her lip, earning a groan from me as I claimed her mouth again. I ground my arousal, which she was fully responsible for, into her warm wet middle. I began to fiddle with the tops of her underwear and hose, trying to figure out how to get to her, when a knock at the door interrupted us.

"Save it for when you get home, lovebirds!" Alice screamed through the wooden door. "We need to change for the encore."

I sat Bella down and smiled. "Encore?"

"Yeah, we're doing one more song in honor of Mama D before the results are read. It's a bit of a surprise. OH, and for the record, it's not a message to you this time in case you start to get worried."

I nodded and pulled her from the door, releasing the lock.

Alice flew through the door, immediately shoving me through it as Rose and Krista were trying to make it through behind me.

"Geez, Alice, you can wait two seconds for Rose and Krista to get in, can't you."

She sighed, "Yes, but if you stay any longer, it'll take me another ten minutes to get you away from her again. Now scoot!"

I stepped back out into the club, the music thumping as bodies collided on the dance floor. Tanya smiled at me, shooting me thumbs up as I passed under her section. The bar flies didn't even bother to approach me, so I crossed the room and climbed back to our section to join the rest of my friends and my parents.

Mom smiled up at me brightly with a wink while Dad clapped me on the back when I settled next to them. Thankfully, they didn't appear to find issue with her performance, or my hopping on stage to join her.

We sat and chatted, our waiting finally being rewarded half an hour later by the Emcee returning to the stage as the music from the DJ died down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our night is nearly finished. The votes are being tabulated as we speak. While we wait, we have one last song to enjoy from the Femme Docs.

Bella and the girls popped back out of the room, make up now removed and replaced with a light dusting of color. They were wearing their track suits again, with their hair pulled up in pony tails, except for Alice of course, who was wearing a headband.

Bella stepped up to the microphone with a serious expression.

"I'd like to thank everyone once again for coming. The next song we are going to sing is an anthem for us and especially for the lady who owns this establishment. We love this place and we love its owner, Ms. Delia Dooley. We dedicate this song tonight to a woman who treats us all like family. I hope she doesn't kill me for telling you this, but Mama started off living in Georgia. She was married to an abusive man who mistreated her for years. She decided one day that she wasn't going to take it anymore. She saved up her money until one day, twenty years ago this month, she left and traveled as far as her money could take her, which was right here to Chicago. She settled down and planted roots, getting a job working here when it was known as Kennedy's. She became like family to Mr. Kennedy, who left her his bar and changed its name when he retired. Her life wasn't easy, but she never gave up.

Some of you know us, some of you don't, but most of you have heard through the grapevine what this year has been like for us. It has been hard and it has been scary, but through it all, we held our heads high and never gave up, just like Mama D. So this song is dedicated to not only Mama, but all of you out there who have fought to hold your heads high and keep on going through this rollercoaster we call life. This is for the Fighters."

Alice selected the song and Bella squared her shoulders, pulling off her jacket to reveal a black wife beater underneath. The music played over the speakers, the girls playing along. I watched my angel belting the song with passion, a half smile on her face while she strutted back and forth across the stage as if she owned it. She was beautiful.

**After all you put me through  
You'd think I'd despise you  
But in the end I wanna thank you  
'Cause you made that much stronger**

**Well I thought I knew you  
Thinking that you were true  
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff  
Time is up, 'cause I've had enough**

**You were there by my side  
Always down for the ride  
But your joy ride just came down in flames  
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmm hmm**

**After all of the stealing and cheating  
You probably think that  
I hold resentment for you  
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong**

**'Cause if it wasn't for all  
That you tried to do  
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through  
So I wanna say thank you**

**'Cause it  
Makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
Makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**Never saw it coming  
All of your backstabbing  
Just so, you could cash in on a good thing  
Before I'd realized your game**

**I heard you're going 'round  
Playin' the victim now  
But don't even begin feelin' I'm the one to blame  
'Cause you dug your own grave**

**After all of the fights and the lies  
Guess you're wanting to hurt me  
But that won't work anymore  
No more, uh uh, it's over**

**'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture  
I wouldn't know how to be this way now  
And never back down  
So I wanna say thank you**

**'Cause it  
Makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
Makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**How could this man I thought I know  
Turn out to be unjust so cruel?  
Could only see the good in you  
Pretended not to see the truth**

**You tried to hide your lies  
Disguise yourself through  
Living in denial  
But in the end you'll see  
You won't stop me**

**I am a fighter  
(I'm a fighter)  
I ain't gonna stop  
(I ain't gonna stop)  
There is no turning back  
I've had enough**

**Makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
Makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**Thought I would forget  
But I, I remember  
Yes I remember  
I'll remember**

**Thought I would forget  
But I remember  
Yes I remember  
I'll remember**

**Makes me that much stronger  
Makes me work a little bit harder  
Makes me that much wiser  
So thanks for making me a fighter**

**Made me learn a little bit faster  
Made my skin a little bit thicker  
Makes me that much smarter  
So thanks for making me a fighter.**

When they finished, the whole room jumped up in roaring applause. Emmett wedged his fingers in his lips, letting out a huge wolf whistle and Dad gripped my shoulder with a squeeze. I looked back over my shoulder with a nod. I knew what I had and I knew I was damn lucky.

**BPOV**

It took us forever to reach the boys thanks to the constant throng of people praising our performance and the idea. When we reached the boys in the middle of the dance floor, Edward grabbed me by the waist. He lifted me up in the air above him, making me squeak as he turned me in a circle, telling me I did an amazing job. I beamed at him and we spun twice before he lowered me into a passionate kiss.

When he finally released me from the liplock, I was passed amongst the rest of my boys. When the Emcee and Mama took the stage, Mama took the microphone first.

"Before we say anything else tonight, I want to take this time to thank my girls, the Femmes and my boys, the Knights. You have no idea how much all of this, and especially you, mean to me. I never had kids, but you guys are the closest I'll ever get. I love ya! Now on to business," she handed the microphone to the Emcee and stepped back, wiping at a tear on her cheek.

"A panel of impartial judges was selected by yours truly to count the votes. It was an interesting result, after counting the votes twice, we discovered we have a two way tie for first place. Discussing it with Mama D, we've decided to give both bands first prize and award the second prize to the group who got the second most votes.

In second place tonight, walking home with the second place prize of one thousand dollars: Pen fifteen!"

The crowd broke into thunderous applause. We joined in with bright smiles. They deserved to win for sure. They were a great group. The boys took the stage and the Emcee continued.

"All the bands prepared for a victory song that will be played once we are done, so we will be seeing this kick ass group again in a few minutes. I also want to point out that these guys also have just moved to town with a real band of their own, and they will be playing regularly here at Dooley's for the next two months worth of Friday nights, so come back in to see them!"

The crowd went wild again as Kevin and the boys waved and thanked them.

"And now for the first place award, but I'm sure you won't be that surprised. The tie was between the Femme Docs and the Kevlar Knights!"

The crowd went wild again and we laughed, walking up toward the stage wrapped up into couples. Once we reached the stage, the Emcee spoke up again.

"The grand prize for first place was supposed to be two thousand dollars, but when this all began, the Femmes and the Knights decided that it wasn't fair to win prize money at an event that they helped put together, so the prize money will be split between two charities chosen by the bands. One thousand dollars will go to the Chicago Metropolitan Battered Women's Network, and the other thousand will go to Habitat for Humanity."

The crowd once again burst into cheers. We thanked them and exited the stage for the PEN15 guys to take the stage to do their song. We retreated into the break room to celebrate and figure out how to do the final number together since we both won. We decided it would be fun to collaborate, finally settling on a song, and dividing the parts between us. Andy ceded his guitar to Alice, and Krista gladly gave up the bass to Jasper. Rose and Emmett argued about drums before Rose finally gave in and allowed Emmett the honor, as long as he promised to 'repay her triple tonight.' Emmett grinned like he won the lottery, apparently not upset with the debt he would have to pay later.

Edward and I put our heads together as they argued. We turned back to the group, asking what they would think about doing something with a duet. We had the adapter to connect two microphones, and it wasn't like we were worried about the points in the game or anything. The group smiled when we made the suggestion. Just as we finished up, the guys on stage broke out in their song and we all gasped.

"There's no fucking way we should have won," Emmett whispered as we all listened to PEN15 sing Seether's _Careless Whisper_.

We all nodded silently in agreement and listened as they finished the song.

Once they finished, we stepped back out and took our place on stage, settling into place and connecting the adapter so Edward and I could both sing to Evanescence's _Bring me to Life._

Edward just stood by me, holding my hand, waiting for his turn with a big goofy grin on his face as I sang the first verse. I was well aware that this was one of the songs on his iPod's BB playlist of songs that reminded him of me.

When it came time for the chorus, he lifted the microphone and sang to my face, pushing my hair, which was down again, behind my ear.

We continued to sing to one another, totally forgetting that there was an audience. Our hands drifted from each other's faces to our shoulders and then waists. We both felt this way about one another in some way. We saved each other to a degree. We were the part that made the other whole.

I was surprised when Edward sang the male solo with deep passion. He ground out the gritty verses while holding my hand between us. I answered back breathlessly.

**all this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me**  
_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
got to open my eyes to everything  
_**without a thought without a voice without a soul  
don't let me die here  
there must be something more**  
_bring me to lif_e

He cupped my chin at the end of the bridge and stared into my eyes. We sang the chorus again while he dipped between his parts to kiss my head. I curled up to his chest and we finished the song in an embrace.

We probably didn't really do what a good band would do….we didn't sing to the audience at all, but they didn't seem to care - the roar hurt my ears. We visited a while longer once the festivities ended, before finally bidding everyone good night and rushing home, falling into bed, exhausted and completely in love.

The sex that night was slow and sweet, full of whispered promises and mating souls. When we both reached completion, we curled up together under the soft comforter and fell into a deep, contented sleep.

_**I've had pictures in my mind of this night since the beginning of the story and was really nervous about getting it right, but then once I sat down, it all flowed out of me. I hope you guys liked it. Please review, I love hearing from you!**_

_**Featured Songs which I do not own the rights to:**_

_**Breathe by The Prodigy**_

_**Remedy by Seether**_

_**Breakdown by Seether**_

_**Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne**_

_**I Touch Myself by Divinyls**_

_**Since You Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson**_

_**So What by Pink**_

_**Addicted (uncensored) by Saving Able**_

_**Never Gonna Be Alone by Nickelback**_

_**Unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield**_

_**One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks**_

_**I Get Off by Halestorm**_

_**All Around Me by Flyleaf**_

_**Fighter by Christina Aguilera**_

_**Careless Whisper by Seether**_

_**Bring Me To Life by Evanescence**_


	54. Pressure

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the character's names and a few of their attributes, but this plot line is all from my noggin! I also have no rights to the TNT show The Closer or the Rachelle Meade's Vampire Academy novel character.**

_**Just for the record, the Caterpillar Plant in Joliet is not closed or closing anytime soon as of my knowledge, but I thought it would be perfect for my needs…so in my imaginary world it is. And before you ask, yes the defense lawyers are a play off of Rachelle Meade's Vampire**_ _**Academy's Dimitri. I couldn't help it…when I used Dimitri, Felix, Alec, and Jane, I had to have a last name and I already used Volturi in the past…Belikov was the next name to pop in my head thanks to my love for that series as well. No Rose Hathaway or Lissa Dragomir though…LOL.**_

_**Thanks as always to the awesome Sihaya9 for her beta work and Sassenach Wench**_

**Pressure**

**BPOV**

"Edward, you have to go, sweetheart. You can't run a training facility if you haven't had the proper training yourself," I coerced my fiancé, kneeling in front of him on our bed, his head held firmly between my hands.

"It's only two weeks. Trager is dead, Sellers is in prison, and the Feds say I'm safer than most people in the city because Blagojevich wants to kiss my hand and thank me for getting rid of the man trying to usurp his dynasty. Not only that, but I think I've proven I am capable of defending myself in a pinch. You have to do this for your…no…for _our_ future, but I will be here patiently waiting for you to get back."

He groaned, snapping his eyes closed and huffing roughly through his nose. "I know that, but I just hate being away from you. The longest we've been apart since you moved in was four days, and even then, I felt like I was going fucking insane. Not only that, I feel guilty for dragging Emmett away from Rose when she's so close to popping. Then if you add to it the fact that you're all stressed out getting ready for the trial and your internship exam, I just feel like this is the worst timing ever."

I moaned painfully at the mention of the trial. I was not looking forward to dealing with that mess at all. The last two and a half months had been pretty uneventful. After the Rock Band Battle, we didn't have a whole heck of a lot to fill our free time. Edward had put all of his time and energy into working out, getting his body back to pre-injury shape, and pulling things together for the new training facility.

Edward was worried at first, since the facility would have to be outside of the city, that one or both of us would have to commute. He searched every day for a month, getting more and more frustrated with his lack of options. He finally found a perfect place southwest of the city in Joliet. It had once been an assembly plant for Caterpillar heavy machinery. There were several massive and empty buildings along with a large open space, which had once been machinery testing areas. The property was huge and was not very close to other buildings or businesses on two sides, and flanked by a small river on a third. It was the perfect place to safely conduct training ops, with lots of areas to create different types of scenarios. The property was large enough to have two or three different groups undergoing major training ops at the same time.

The boys immediately got excited about planning training options and discussed turning one of the buildings into dorms that the trainees could stay in for training to mimic their experience in Minnesota, as well as office space. Emmett had excitedly joined the bandwagon of the facility soon after we got back from Lincoln, much to Rose's relief. Jasper and Andy were not far behind. They discovered a top notch intensive instructional program on the west coast that would provide them all the education they needed to start off with SWAT training and could return later to bring in more types of programs in the future.

There were definitely some major negatives to the location that we were all going to have to learn to live with. Joliet was an hour long Metra train ride from the city, and had to be caught at Union Station. This would mean, either Alice and I would have to travel in from Joliet for the next several years until we finished our Residency, or the boys would have to travel out at various strange times of the day and night to conduct their business at the facility. Either way, it wasn't going to be convenient for a very long time, if ever, depending on what we chose to do post Residency. Rose had less of a conflict, finding out quickly that she could transfer to a suburban hospital at any point she wanted.

"Edward, Rose still has nearly four weeks until she's due, she's had no problems, nothing to indicate she will go into premature labor. She could even be up to two weeks late for all we know and end up being induced. Now is the best time you could go. If you wait any longer, Rose will be too close to delivery, or the baby will be here and you would have to deal with taking him away from his new baby. Rose is going to be here with me, only a few blocks from the hospital, with at least one, but most likely, knowing Alice, two doctors around her most of the time. If there is a problem, you've already arranged for a private jet to bring him home to be with her. All of our bases are covered. You have to do this to proceed with the next step in our future, and now is the time to do it."

I let go of his face, kissing his forehead before turning back to the suitcase lying open at the end of the bed, picking up the pile of folded shirts and laying them carefully in the left side. I heard Edward sigh beside me; he grabbed his pile of underwear and stuffed them into the mesh pocket of the lid, zipping it closed hastily.

We worked together to finish packing his bags for the trip then slid into bed together, cuddled closely, savoring the last few hours before a long, two-week separation.

All too soon, I felt his lips on my forehead, pulling me slowly from my drowsy stupor to say goodbye. I gave him one last kiss, pulling him back into bed with me. I wrapped my arms round him tightly, huffing his scent like an addict trying to suck up the last bit of cocaine.

"Be careful, Edward. Soak up all the knowledge that you can and come home to me. I'm going to miss you. I love you so much."

He sighed into my hair as his grip tightened around my shoulders and waist. "I love you too, my beautiful Bella. Stay safe."

Reluctantly, we finally pulled away from one another, neither of us wanting to let the other go, but knowing we had to. I walked him to the door to give him one last hug and a passionate kiss before waving him off to meet the boys. They were traveling together to Midway, catching a flight bound for San Diego.

o~O~o

"Bella, don't you have any good ice cream in this place? Where's the Hagen Daz, or the Ben and Jerry's? I'm a pregnant woman with needs. I need the high quality dairy here!"

I laughed as Rose continued to moan from the kitchen in front of the sub zero. Her svelte frame was now completely convoluted by her protruding stomach that pretty much looked like she stuffed a giant beach ball under her shirt. She had a little puffiness in the face, hands, and ankles, but was nothing like most of the pregnant women I had seen. As usual, Rosalie was nearly as perfect pregnant as she was normally.

After a few minutes, she waddled back into the living room carrying a fudgecicle, plopping on the couch next to me.

"So, have you heard from Dorkward lately?"

I sighed looking down at my unresponsive phone. "No, I haven't gotten to talk to him or even text with him in three days. He said something about highly intensive field training or something. Anyway, he said they're not allowed phones or any outside communication until Friday. You heard from Em?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not, if the mastermind of this whole mess is on radio silence, then they all are."

She sucked the tip of the fudgepop to a sharp point before frowning over at me. "I just realized, if something comes up with the baby, we won't be able to reach them. Em won't have any clue!"

I smiled at her, patting her hand comfortingly. "Calm down, sis, Edward spoke to the big wigs. I have the numbers of their training officers. If something comes up, all I have to do is make one call and Emmett will be on a private flight back home to you. Never fear, we've got your back."

She sighed, melting into the couch, shifting a few times until she finally found a comfortable position. We watched a few minutes of The Closer, which, ironically enough, focused around the trial for the murder of a man who had taken a group of people hostage a few months before, getting off on a technicality. Soon after, the asshole turned up dead and Brenda Lee Johnson and her major crimes division had to find the vigilante, even though most of the team really didn't want to.

During the next commercial break, Rose turned back to me warily. "So, how are things going with the trial prep anyway? Do you feel like you're getting to a point in your therapy that you'll be able to testify without freaking out too much?"

I sighed with a shrug. "I don't know, Rose. I can talk about it freely with Dr. Kellison and Edward, but to tell the whole story from scratch to a bunch of people who weren't around to experience it themselves? I really don't know how I'll react. It's going to be hard no matter what, but I hope I do okay."

"You've heard about the attorney representing the other side, right?"

I groaned, "Unfortunately. From what I hear, he's one of the best in the state, possibly even the country."

Douglas Varner was known far and wide for being the most ruthless, cut throat lawyer in town. In his whole career, he had only lost a hand full of cases and was quite well known for shattering a witness's credibility on the stand. I had nothing to hide, but I still worried what he might pull out of his hat to try to trip me up and make the hospital look bad.

Of course, the hospital's lawyers were quite impressive as well. The offices of Belikov, Belikov, and Belikov, better known as Belikov cubed by my friends and I, who thought it was too much of a mouthful to say Belikov three times fast, was renowned in Chicago for being the ones to beat. The three Belikov brothers, Dimitri, Felix, and Alec were a veritable powerhouse of strategic legal planning, each having their own areas of expertise. Their little sister, Jane, was in charge of their top shelf paralegal team, making them nearly unbeatable.

While the brothers had plenty of junior associates in the firm, they insisted on taking on this case personally. Dimitri was chosen to take first chair; the other brothers would be attending the day of the trial as well to provide a more intimidating, unified front.

In the months leading up to the trial, I had suffered through countless depositions and interviews, both with the brothers and Jane, while they worked together to build the tightest case possible. They all assured me that I would be brilliant on the stand; all I had to do was share my story as forthright and honestly as possible. If I could do that, then they could do the rest. It didn't assuage my nerves though. No matter what I was told, I couldn't shake the feeling that the whole trial rested heavily on my personal testimony.

Rose and I fell into a peaceful silence, both lost in our own thoughts when the commercial break ended and the show resumed. We occasionally chuckled at the interactions of the team and cheered when Chief Johnson cornered yet another guilty person into admitting what they had done.

When the ending credits began to roll, Rose went to stand up, but froze halfway through. She grabbed her stomach protectively with a grimace before melting back into the couch.

"Contraction?" I asked nervously.

She shook her head, "Braxton Hicks, nothing to worry about. I've been having them on and off for a week now. One nice thing about being an L and D nurse, I know the signs to know the difference."

"Okay, but please don't be complacent. My brother would kill me if we wrote them off when they really weren't Braxton Hicks and then he missed out on the birth of his daughter."

She nodded, allowing me to help her stand up. I followed her nervously to the guest room door, leaving both her door and mine cracked slightly so I could hear if she needed me during the night. I grabbed a quick shower before sliding between the sheets. I picked up my phone and sent off my nightly text telling Edward that I loved him and missed him. Even if he couldn't read them now, he could always get them when he got his phone back later.

o~O~o

Before I left for work the next morning, I pulled Mel aside and asked her to keep an eye on Rose and try not to leave her alone while I was at work. I offered to pay her extra to make sure her meals were ready and to find excuses to hang around until I got off of work that night. She readily agreed and promised to call if she saw anything to cause concern.

I left for the hospital still feeling slightly uneasy about leaving Rose. After discussing the stress that working the L and D floor put on her back, Rose took an early leave of absence from work to relax the last few weeks before Emma was due. She didn't have to, but she decided it was better to be safe than sorry. I just hoped that her precautions would have the desired effect.

I walked through the lobby and into the locker room, quickly changing and rushing to meet the rest of the Femmes on the floor. Dr. K had been working with us to review for the big internship exam we had next week. This was it, if we passed this test, we would be able to continue with the next part of our Residency the following year, if not, then we would be doomed to repeat our internship. None of us wanted to be stuck in another year of internship. We were all ready to move forward.

During rounds, Dr. K hit us with the hard questions, really putting us on the spot. Going in, we were renowned for being the best of the best, and we were still shit hot, only fumbling on the really obscure questions that seemed to come out of left field and were usually not associated with the patient in question.

After our morning rounds, Dr. K went with me to evaluate my work on the peds floor. She had been doing monthly evaluations of my work for her reports to the school, getting personal feedback from all of my immediate pediatric supervisors. Thankfully, the doctors soon warmed to having me around. Seeing a fellow physician passionate about these kids seemed to raise their own morale.

When we were finished, she escorted me into the doctor's lounge, which was surprisingly empty for a change. She settled into a seat across from me with a warm smile.

"Bella, you've done so well here. I'm so proud of you. I have no doubt you'll pass your internship exam with flying colors. I am going to give my full recommendation for you to be placed onto the peds floor for your Residency training. I have no doubt you will make a fine pediatric physician. I will miss you next year, but I'm certain this is where you were meant to be."

She stood up and crossed to my side of the table where I stood to face her, completely caught off guard when she pulled me into hug.

"Thank you, Dr. K. I can't even begin to thank you enough for all you've done for us this year. I will miss you too."

My day ended with an upper when Charlotte and her family stopped in to say hi, along with a container of homemade cookies, mixed and spooned onto the trays personally by Charlotte. When she saw me, she ran over with bright eyes and an even brighter smile.

"Dr. Swan," she said throwing her arms around my waist and hugging my stomach. She looked up at me with shining eyes. "I brought you special cookies. They're my favorite."

Her mom walked up behind her, handing Charlotte a small blue square tin. She took it happily handing it up to me.

I smiled down at her, cracking the lid and sniffing the delicious chocolate aroma emanating from inside. "Mmmm, Charlotte, they smell delicious! What kind are they?"

"Rocky Road, you said it was your favorite ice cream, so I thought you might like the cookies too."

I pulled out a cookie, breaking it in half and sharing with her. As I took a bite, my eyes rolled into the back of my head at the decadence of the mixture of flavors.

"Oh mah goones, Charet, eez are delishush."

She giggled as she took a bite of her half. We settled in the small waiting area near the nurse's station, enjoying our cookies as the family all sat around talking to me. When it was time to leave, Charlotte crossed the area again to hug me tightly around the neck.

"Thank you, Dr. Swan. You weren't just my doctor, you were my friend. I'll never forget you."

I fought the moisture trying to pool in my eyes. "I'll never forget you either, Charlotte. Thank you for helping me realize that I want to be a pediatrician."

"I did?" She asked in surprise.

I smiled and nodded, "Yes ma'am, you most certainly did. I thought I wanted it, but after working with you, I knew there was nowhere else I would rather work."

She hugged me again with a bright smile. "You know, I think I want to be a doctor like you some day."

I patted her on the back with a nod. "I think you would make a fantastic doctor some day, Charlotte. Study hard and you can be anything you want to be."

Charlotte nodded and thanked me again. She took her mother's hand and walked with her toward the elevator banks.

I sighed with a smile, watching the living, breathing reminder of what I could accomplish in the future walk away happily with her family.

That night, I walked home with a smile on my face, thinking about the wonderful events of the day. A day like today made all the bad things in the past and coming up in the future seem insignificant. It was days like these that I needed to cherish and hold onto.

I walked in the apartment door to find Melissa and Rose slouched together on the couch, their feet propped on the coffee table in front of them as they laughed along with a sitcom on TV. Melissa hopped up as soon as she saw me, looking nervous. I shook my head at her with a crooked smile. This was exactly what I was hoping she would do.

She smiled and nodded as I said hi to Rose before disappearing into the kitchen. I was putting together a plate of their leftovers when Melissa appeared at my side, helping me by dragging out a few more dishes.

"She's been having a lot of contractions today, but they're really irregular and pretty mild according to Rose. I would definitely keep your ear out for her tonight. I'll be back in the morning, so you can go to the lawyer's office for your meeting."

I turned to her, putting my hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, Mel. You are such a great help to us. I can't imagine trusting anyone else with our home and our family like I do you."

She smiled, patting my hand with a nod. She walked back into the living room to say goodbye to Rose, grabbing her things to head home for the night. Jake was waiting for her back at the place that they now shared. I was so happy for them. Mel seemed so content in her new life with him.

Rose and I spent the rest of the night lounging on the couch, nibbling on food, and watching movies on HBO. It was nice to just relax with her and enjoy some sisterly bonding time without our boys, even if we missed them like crazy.

We both jumped with big smiles when our phones rang at the exact same time. I grabbed my phone, running off to our bedroom, while Rose stayed put on the couch.

"Hey, baby! How are things going in California?" I asked excitedly, plopping on the bed with a bounce.

"Things are going great, love. How are things in Chitown?"

I chuckled, "Same old, same old. I had a great day today though. Charlotte came in with cookies and told me she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. Although, I know that might change between now and then. I also had my last pre exam review with Dr. K. She's going to recommend I continue my Residency training in Peds."

"That's great, baby. I'm so proud of you. Are you feeling nervous about the exam?"

I sighed, "Not really. I'm more nervous about the trial. I have one last meeting tomorrow at the firm in the morning. Then I have this weekend off before the exam Monday morning. At this point, all I can do is review as much as possible and hope I retained everything I needed to. Cramming will only do so much. I either know it, or I don't."

He sighed loudly on the other end of the line. "I wish I could be there to help you study and relax some. You always forget to relax when you're gearing up for a big exam. Remember the year I took you to play ski ball in the middle of finals just so you'd chill out a bit?"

I giggled at the memory. "Of course I do. We were the only people over the age of twelve who didn't have kids in our custody. The looks the greeter gave us were hilarious!"

"What about the time we took you to the planetarium your sophomore year of college? All I really remember is you laughing while Emmett, Jasper, and I starting talking in your ear creating voices for the constellations and making Orion declare war on Virgo."

"Oh my god," I cackled as I bowed over in laugher, "I had forgotten that! That was great. The best part was Emmett trying to make the girly voice for Virgo, constantly referring to her need to lose her v-card!"

We both laughed for a long time before he sighed into the phone. "Do you know what I'd do to help you relax this time?"

My eyebrow arched, suspecting his methods would be quite different this year. "What would you do, Mr. Cullen? I'd love to hear your plans."

He chuckled huskily on the other end of the line. I began to wonder exactly where he was at while calling me.

"I think, Dr. Cullen, I'd start with making you a nice warm bath in the Jacuzzi tub."

I moaned slightly at the visual, a smile creeping across my face.

"I'd settle you in under the warm jets and feed you chocolate covered strawberries by hand. Then I would give you a full body massage, starting with your feet, and slowly working my way up your body until I released every ounce of tension from your toes to your nose."

"Now that sounds like a great way to help a girl relax," I reply breathlessly, closing my eyes as I melted into the pillow under my head. "Is that where the special treatment would end?"

He chuckled quietly. "NO way in hell, but I'm sitting a little too close to your brother for comfort right now. I'm pretty sure that he'd kick my ass into my throat if he ever heard the rest of the things I would do to help relieve your stress."

I hummed softly. "Well, Mr. Cullen, you won't be back in time for my exam, but I have a feeling I'll be in even more desperate need for your…skills…after you get back when we're dealing with the trial. Maybe you could show me all the wonderful things you have in mind then."

He groaned into the receiver quietly. "Dr. Cullen, you can count on that." He sighed forlornly on the other end of the line. "Love, I hate to do this, but I really need to go get some rest now. It's been a hell of a week."

"Okay, Edward, I love you."

"I love you too, my beautiful Bella. Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams to you too, Mr. Cullen."

Once we hung up, I got up and walked into the living room where Rose was still whispering on her phone to Emmett. From the few things I caught, he wasn't being as considerate as Edward had been. I waved at her, returning to our room to fall asleep, leaving the door cracked open once again just in case.

o~O~o

The office of Belikov cubed were the closest thing to an ivory tower that I had ever seen in real life. The outside of the building simmered with a creamy marble-esque veneer that seemed to glint at me from across the street. I rushed toward the massive double doors, cringing at the fact that I was already five minutes late.

The annoyed receptionist at the front desk waved me through whispering that I was late and should meet everyone in conference room three. When the elevator doors opened on the fifth floor, I was met by the tiny, annoyed looking Jane, who grumbled as she tugged me down the hallway toward the conference room.

I stepped in the door, to find I had missed the beginning of the powerpoint presentation Dimitri was giving to the room full of board members, Carlisle, Alice, and a few other staff present on that day.

Dimitri gave me a small smile when I settled into a chair next to Carlisle, never missing a beat in his presentation. I couldn't help but like Dimitri. He was all business with an icy resolve when things were on the line, but behind the ice lurked a kind heart that I often saw behind his dark eyes. He was always nothing but kind to me and very patient. If I had to work with anyone besides Dimitri, I'm sure I would not have been nearly as comfortable with the trial to come as I was.

When the meeting ended, I was feeling far more anxious than I had before. It appeared that a great deal of the case in defense of the hospital was being built on my testimony. Talk about pressure, my internship exam was nothing compared to this!

As the room began to clear out, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Bella, I'm pretty sure the school would be amenable to delaying your intern exam. You are definitely under extreme external pressures right now that could greatly inhibit your performance."

I smiled back at a concerned looking Carlisle. I shook my head, "No, Carlisle, I'll be fine. Besides, as doctors we're supposed to be able to work through the stress, right? Just call this good practice."

He furrowed his brow deeper, but finally nodded in concession. I was about to rise out of my chair when Dimitri spoke up across the room

"Bella, could you please stay back a moment longer. I have a few things I need to discuss with you."

I nodded, looking back at Carlisle. He frowned toward Dimitri in confusion before his face cleared. He patted my shoulder one last time before he left me alone at the table.

Dimitri crossed the room, sitting next to me, placing his hand on top of mine where it rested on the glass table top.

"Are you feeling okay?" The warm kindness hidden behind his icy exterior had melted to the surface. This was the Dimitri I actually enjoyed working with.

I sighed with a nod. "I think so. I have my intern test on Monday. If I fail, I'll have to repeat my internship year. I feel okay with it, but it is still a lot of stress. Add to that all of this."

I groaned, pulling my hands from under his, resting my face in the palms. "I'm afraid I'm going to somehow blow this for everyone. It's a lot of pressure."

I felt his hand on my shoulder. "I know, Bella, I know, but you're going to be fine. I'll be right there, as will Felix, Alec, and Jane, not to mention your fiancé, your brother, and all the rest of your friends and family. We'll all be there to support you. You'll be fine."

I looked up at him over my hands with a tearful smile. "Thank you, Dimitri."

He smiled back down at me, reaching up to wipe away a tear. "Now none of that, you're going to be fine."

I stiffened a little at the intimate contact and he frowned slightly. He shook his head, shifting away from me in his chair slightly. From the beginning, I had an inkling that Dimitri may be attracted to me. He was a handsome, intelligent man. If I were completely honest, if I didn't have Edward, the attraction would be mutual. I would never cheat on Edward though, so all we would ever share was a friendship. Dimitri knew and respected this, but it still didn't keep the occasional slip from happening.

After a few awkward seconds, Dimitri smiled apprehensively at me. "Well, there's not too much more, but I did need to ask you one thing. Do you have any idea why Varner would be submitting your father's service record in the evidentiary file?"

I frowned at him in confusion, slowly shaking my head. "Not a clue. What would my Dad have to do with all of this?"

He shrugged, "They might pull up something in an attempt to discredit you somehow, but I really don't see how your father's service record would work to do such a thing."

I shook my head slightly. "Me either. My Dad was a great cop. He taught me everything I know about defending myself and being an independent person."

Dimitri's pen fell onto the desk. "Bella, did your Dad teach you how to use a gun?"

I nodded mutely, not following his question. "We had a shooting range on our property in the country. He and all his cop friends would use it for target practice when I was young. It was where he taught me proper gun safety and how to shoot. By the time I was a teenager, I had become quite accurate."

Dimitri paled, flipping through his file. "Uh, th…thank you, Bella. That will be all for today, but I'll probably be calling you sometime next week to talk to you more."

My heart started pounding in my chest. Dimitri was not the sort to get flustered easily. "Dimitri, what's wrong?"

He shook his head absentmindedly as he sent off a message quickly from his blackberry.

"Dimitri?"

"It's nothing to worry about right now, Bella. You focus on doing well on your exam. Let me look into a few things and we'll talk next week. It's going to be fine, Bella."

I nodded numbly, panic searing my body. _This was not good at all. Oh Shit!_

_**Okay, so the story is finished now and there's a grand total of 60 chapters, including the epilogue, so we're in the home stretch now. I'll keep these posting as quickly as I can, but life's been a bit odd lately, so I can't promise too much; just know that it shouldn't be too much longer :)**_


	55. Gearing Up and Getting Off

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original twilight characters. NO copyright infringement is intended. Nor do I own any rights to the HBO series True Blood.**

_**This is our last chapter before the trial. (which is already completely written by the way and bridges across chapters 55 and 56 ) I'm giving you fair warning, there's an extremely steamy lemon action in this chapter…three and a half pages to be exact. Hope you enjoy! Thanks as always to my beta Sihaya9 and our lovely Twilighted Validation Beta Ms. Sassenach Wench**_

**Gearing Up and Getting Off**

**EPOV**

Being away from Bella was always hard, but being away from Bella when she had so much going on in her life was torture. The first week we were in deep training, not allowed any outside communication. I spent most of my free time studying the manuals and trying to help the rest of the guys calm down a frustrated and anxious Emmett who was worried about Rosalie.

When we finally did get to call the girls, it was so good to hear Bella's voice that I almost got carried away. Even if it seemed that Emmett had no qualms about talking dirty to Rose within hearing range of the rest of us, I knew it would be a massive double standard if I tried. It didn't stop me from going to bed with the mother of all fucking boners though.

I was extremely concerned when I talked to Bella the next night. She had gone from chill to nearly full on panic mode in one short day. It took me forever to get her to slow down long enough to gather what she was saying, and then the pieces fell into place.

Dimitri's worry was that somehow Varner was going to villainize Bella as a lethal weapon, trained by professionals, thus stealing away some of the softer persona of being a healer. The public in general tends to look down on people using guns if they aren't actual officers. If he can turn the jury's view of Bella from heroic protector to trained killer, then it could greatly shadow her testimony, which is the backbone upon which the rest of the entire case is built.

It's not fair, but it is how the game is played. One of the bad things about the justice system is that often times a jury's personal prejudices can greatly sway a ruling in one side's favor or the other. Our big hope now was that this jury would not be such a group.

I spent the next hour trying to calm Bella down, greatly cutting into my sleep time, but I didn't care. My girl needed me. Like I always say, 'I can sleep when I'm dead.'

I felt guiltier every time I called home because every day my Zen Bella had been replaced more and more by Panicked Bella. When the rug was pulled out of her confidence in the trial, it seemed to have unraveled her confidence in everything, including her internship exam.

I cursed the timing of our trip coinciding with that exam. I would have given almost anything to be there to help her relax and study. From the first year I met her, she always needed someone to force her to step away from the stress during finals and chill out. This was the first time in all of those years that I wasn't around to help her, and it was the one time she needed it the most.

I was anxious all day Monday, fucking up more than one thing during training when my mind would drift to her. All that accomplished was earning myself an ass ripping by the drill sergeant like instructors and more PT at the end of the day. As soon as I was released, I ran straight to my trunk, yanking out my phone to call Bella.

"Hey, my beautiful doctor girl, how did it go?"

She sighed deeply with a cute little groan at the end. I pictured her sitting on the couch with her feet propped on the coffee table, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger, a habit she had picked up from spending time with me.

"I don't know, Edward. While I was taking it, I felt like I was okay, but then, once I came home, I started second guessing everything. God I hope I didn't screw it up! I really want to start working Peds full time."

The frustration and worry in her voice made my heart ache for her.

"I'm sure you did great, Bella. Try not to stress over it now that it's behind you. I've got an idea, why don't you focus on me being home in less than a week and the wonderful things I'm going to do to you."

My own pants tightened in response to the long throaty moan that emerged from the earpiece. My lustful indulgence didn't last long though; a second later, a booming voice rang out behind me.

"Fuck me backwards, Edward. You're fucking killing me, Smalls! Stop with the dirty talking with my sister. You're making me want to puke my guts up!"

I heard Bella whine, having heard her brother's rant as I spun on him in anger. "Shut the fuck up, Emmett. She's going to be my fucking wife in less than two months and I can do or say whatever the fuck I want to her. Go buy some mother fucking ear plugs if you don't like it, or better yet, just walk the fuck away if you hear something you don't like!"

Emmett's eyes grew large and he held up his hands defensively. I saw his nostrils flare in a bit of anger as the big brother in him reared up subconsciously, but the rational part of his brain knew I was right.

"Sorry dude, I was just fucking with you for the most part. I didn't realize you took phone sex so fucking seriously."

I sighed and rolled my eyes feeling frustrated. "We'll talk more about this later, Em, after I finish saying goodnight to my fiancée."

I turned back to the phone to be greeted with silence. "Bella? You still there, baby?"

More silence. I looked at the phone. According to the call timer, we were still connected.

"Bella? Babe, are you okay? Baby, talk to me." I could hear the panic rising in my voice the longer she didn't reply.

After another silent beat, I heard a low giggle start to build on her side of the line. I sighed in relief. Soon the low giggles grew louder until my ear was filled with the voice of her unabashed cackling.

"You okay over there, Bella?"

She gasped for air a few times before she finally giggled out, "You…Emmett….you actually…you actually yelled at Emmett for the right to phone sex me up?"

I chuckled along with her, slightly in reaction to her finally loosening up, and partially because I realized it really was a bit funny.

"Yeah, I guess I did."

"That was freaking hilarious," she squealed on the other end of the line, followed by some thumping sound that I pictured being her feet bouncing off the floor as she doubled over and bounced in laughter.

I really didn't think it was THAT funny, but I suspected it was one of those situations where she had been feeling pushed down for so long that all of her pent up energies were being let out with this laughter.

After a while, she finally calmed down. As we wrapped up our conversation, she seemed a bit lighter and more relaxed. I smiled when I hung up the phone, hoping I managed to at least help her out a bit.

I put my phone away and walked off to find Emmett, who was skulking outside the bunkhouse. I went over to lean against the wall next to him, propping my boot up on the wall behind me.

"Hey man, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that, but it just sort of set me off. She's really freaking out over that internship test she took today and the trial coming up. I was trying to help her relax and take her mind of off it."

He crooked an eyebrow and I chuckled.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little horny and wouldn't mind getting off with her on the phone too, but really it was more about trying to distract her than anything. She was wound tighter than a spring. Thankfully, our little showdown set her off laughing harder than I've heard in a long time. She seemed better after that."

He sighed and nodded. "You're right too, man. I mean I've been having my fun time on the phone with Rosie. It's not fair to deprive the two of you of it too. It's just so fucking hard. She's my kid sis; it's in my DNA to protect her. It's hard to fight off the instinct, but you're good to her, Edward. I've never in my life seen her so happy."

I nodded in understanding. "I get it, man. Just please try to chill. We need the freedom to be there for each other however we need to be…ya know what I mean?"

He nodded with his eyes closed. I patted his shoulder before walking back in.

The rest of the week seemed to creep by. I called Bella every night, but she was still down and distant. I could tell that the impending trial was really taking a toll on her. By Wednesday, I had already made up my mind. I called the company I had arranged the charter plane with, in case Emmett needed an emergency flight to Rose's side, and changed our travel arrangements just slightly.

**BPOV**

It was a long week after my intern exam. I thought I did well, but the feeling of doom and gloom just wouldn't leave me be. I pushed through every day, looking forward to speaking to Edward every night. It was pretty frustrating to be away from him for so long. I knew I was spoiled, but I just really hated being away from him.

Friday was a very long day. It was a rough shift at work. A horrible, multi-vehicle accident once again had everyone rushing to the ER to work on the casualties in teams. For the first time, I was sent to assist with the pediatric cases, which sincerely broke my heart. Pediatrics always pulled at my heartstrings, but pediatric trauma cases were almost more than I could bear.

I went through my whole day, doing my best to look forward to my nightly call from Edward. Alice had asked for the day off for some family commitment and had taken Rose out to dinner before I could get home, so I was on my own for the night.

I took a long lazy shower before padding to the kitchen to make a sandwich. I settled on the couch with my first season True Blood DVD box set that Rose loaned me, insisting that I needed to watch.

I was about halfway through the third episode when my phone started ringing. I picked it up with a smile, hitting pause on the video before answering.

"Hey there, handsome! What are you up to?"

"Better question is, what are you up to?"

I giggled. "Just watching the first season of True Blood on DVD. Rose insisted I had to watch it and loaned me her box set. So far it's…um…interesting."

"Wait, I think I remember hearing about that one. Is it the one with the vampires and all the hot sex?" I swallowed at the husky quality his voice took on as he spoke. A shiver ran down my spine. It had been WAY too long.

I cleared my throat, "Um, yeah, I haven't gotten too far into it yet, but so far, uh yeah."

"Is it making you horny, my love? We've both been deprived the last two weeks, so it wouldn't be surprising if it was making you a little turned on. Are you turned on, my beautiful, sexy Bella?"

I hissed, feeling the muscles inside me contract involuntarily as I grew more aroused. I rubbed my thighs together for a little friction to relieve some of the tension.

"Bella, answer me…are you hot for me? Do you want me to talk to you? I'm far away from Emmett so I could do that for you, love."

I whimpered, earning a dark, husky chuckle from Edward.

"I guess I'll take that as a yes."

"Yes," I gasped in little more than a whisper. "Please, yes."

I reached over to shut off the TV and settled back on the couch.

"What are you wearing Bella?"

I looked down and rolled my eyes, of course I would wear the least sexy thing possible when he would call for this.

"I wish I could say something sexy, but I'm just in a pair of black yoga pants and your NW tee shirt."

He groaned on the other end of the line. "Bella, you gotta know that you wearing my clothes is just about as sexy as any lingerie you could possibly wear. Now I'm all hard just thinking about it. Take off your pants so you're only wearing my shirt."

I whimpered again before realizing where I was. "Hold on, I need to move into the bedroom. Rose could be coming back any minute."

I vaulted over the back of the couch, running full speed into the bedroom. I slammed the door closed behind me, yanking my pants off quickly as I flopped onto the middle of our bed with a big smile on my face.

I could hear him chuckling in my ear. "I take it you're excited for this. You sounded like a thundering elephant running to our bedroom. Do you have your pants off now?"

I whispered a yes.

"Are you wearing underwear?"

"Umm hmm."

"Which ones?"

I rolled my eyes again. Of course tomorrow was laundry day and I was down to the boring stuff. "Um, the white cotton bra and my cotton bikini panties with the stars on them that I wear on laundry day."

I heard him moan quietly. "You know I love that bra. It's so innocent and sweet, something the girl next-door Bella would wear. You know that's the hottest thing about you right…the fact that you can be so innocent one minute and then a fucking vixen the next? The vixen drives me wild, but the innocent girl next door makes me want to cum in my pants. Do you feel like the innocent girl next door, Bella?"

By this point, he had me panting. How the hell did he do that with nothing but words…and the words weren't even that sexy, but the way he said them, the things he implied, that was what was making me pant like a dog in heat.

"You still have on entirely too many clothes though, Bella. The only thing I like more than you wearing that innocent white bra in my shirt is for you to be bare chested in my shirt. Take it off."

I put the phone on speaker mode before reaching behind me to fumble with the clasp, sliding the straps over my arms to remove the bra without taking off the shirt.

"Okay, it's off; I'm just in your shirt and my panties now."

He moaned in appreciation then his whispered words floated through the air. "I want you to pretend that your hands are my hands. Run them over your body under your shirt to your breasts and tease your nipples the way I do. I want you to imagine me tugging them gently and rolling them between my fingers, cupping them in my hands and supporting them from underneath."

I sighed as I let my fingers ghost along the hem of the shirt, creeping up my rib cage and across my stomach to brush under my breasts. I slowly fluttered them over the swell, brushing my nipples that tightened under the tips. Following orders, I grasped them between my thumb and index finger, tugging them gently before rolling them back and forth. I whimpered loudly before a long moan escaped my lips as my thighs began to rub together instinctually again.

"Does that feel good, my Angel?"

I moaned again, letting loose a drawn out "Mmmm, hmmm….oh so good! I love when you touch me, Edward."

He grunted on the other end of the line. "God I love your sounds, Bella. My beautiful, sexy, Bella. Ungh."

"Are you touching yourself, Edward? I want you to touch yourself. Imagine my hands stroking you through your jeans."

He groaned loudly, grinding, "Fuck" under his breath. I smiled as I heard his breathing picking up, knowing I was affecting him just as much as he was to me.

"Take off your underwear, Bella. I want you to run your fingers over that pussy that I know is dripping wet by now. I bet you're so wet for me, my Bella."

I moaned and pushed my panties down my thighs, wiggling them the rest of the way down as I slid my finger between my lower lips where I was indeed extremely wet.

"You are, aren't you, Bella? You're fucking soaked for me. Your body's begging to feel me inside you. Do you want me inside you, Bella?"

I arched my back with a yelp. "Oh yes, oh fuck yes, Edward. I need you so bad. I miss you, I need to feel you touching me, and tasting me, and taking me hard and fast. God I love it when you fuck me hard!"

A primal growl roared through the air; Edward's snarling voice made my muscles clench excitedly. "Fucking hell, Bella. Fuck you so are damn hot. I can't wait to get home and fuck you till you scream my name. I'm going to do that, Bella, I'm going to take you over and over until you can't fucking move. Do you want that, Bella?"

I arched again, dipping my fingers inside my entrance as I teased my clit roughly. "Oh God, yes! Please yes! Are you fucking your hand and thinking of me, Edward? Are you stroking yourself imagining it's my mouth sucking you in and out? Or are you imagining you are burying yourself inside me as my muscles milk you?"

"Fuuuuck, Bella. Holy shit I love the vixen. You're a dirty one, you know that? Are you using those pretty little fingers to fuck yourself and tease your clit Bella? Are you about to come for me?"

I arched again, "Oh God yes, I want you here with me baby. Why can't you be here with me?"

At that moment, the door burst open and I screamed, jumping up from the bed. A large figure appeared in the doorway, shadowed by the light behind them. I grabbed my phone in hopes of using it as a weapon as I bounded off the bed and stood with it between my would-be assailant and I.

Then the figure stepped into the room and I realized it was my naked fiancé, his dick standing at attention as he stroked it slowly with fire in his eyes.

"Holy Fuck, Edward! You scared the shit out of me!" I yelped and jumped up on the bed, running across it to jump into his arms, claiming his mouth with my own.

He grabbed his hands under my ass, holding me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist, rubbing myself up and down on his rod of steel trapped between us.

He groaned and stumbled forward to the bed, laying me down and kissing down my body, pausing briefly at my chest to suckle my nipples before trailing down directly to my wet core. He assaulted my clit with his mouth and tongue while his fingers instantly plunged into my wet depths.

I arched off the bed, screaming his name along with a string of profanities, having instantly found my first release. He moaned into my sensitive flesh as he continued to lap at me until the waves ceased.

I lay panting as he looked up with a smirk, "That's one. I told you I was going to make you scream all night until you couldn't move tomorrow and I fucking meant it."

He shifted up my body, entering me in one fast thrust just when his lips claimed mine. He moaned as I gasped. He kissed me hard for a long while before he leaned back to lift my legs. He placed my feet against his chest, bending my knees up to my shoulders as he slid in deeper. He pounded into me hard and fast until I screamed again, clawing at his forearms which were braced on the bed on either side of me. As my nails slid down his flesh, he threw his head back and grunted loudly, shouting my name over and over as he spilled his hot seed deep inside me.

My legs fell to the side and he collapsed on top of me, panting. After a few minutes, he lifted back off of me slightly with a smile as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"You weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow. What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining."

He chuckled before leaning down to claim my lips in a soft loving kiss. "I couldn't stay away any longer. I needed you. We are going to make these separations as few and far between as fucking possible. I can't fucking deal with it!"

I laughed, shifting toward our pillows, hugging him with me by the shoulders. We settled in the middle of the bed, facing one another with big goofy smiles. Of course, this only lasted a few minutes before we were at it again. He lived up to his promise, I screamed his name all night long, and the next morning, maneuvering was nearly impossible. We opted instead to shower together carefully before laying like beached whales in our bed the rest of the day on Saturday.

o~O~o

Edward and I spent the rest of the weekend, more or less naked. We slept naked, watched TV naked, ate naked. Edward enjoyed it so much he declared that we should have a dedicated naked weekend at least once a month.

When Monday arrived, neither of us wanted to leave our happy naked bubble, but real life was calling. We both had a morning meeting at Belikov cubed, where Dimitri revealed the exact thing that Edward had theorized the night before. He believed Varner intended to paint me as some sort of twisted, elite trained, sleeper agent in order to taint the jury's view of me as a dedicated doctor who chose to stay rather than save my own skin. In this light, I would appear to be cocky, planning to take matters into my own hands from the beginning, instead of another innocent bystander in the whole mess. He also planned to bring to light my personal connections with both Trager and Sellers. He didn't believe his claims would hurt my credibility, saying it was desperate measures from a man struggling to keep his case above water. I hoped he was right.

When we left, Edward escorted me to work before taking off across town to have lunch with his parents. Esme missed him while he was gone and had tons of things she wanted to run past him now that we were entering the final stretch before the wedding. I was so proud of what a big effort he was putting into our special day since I really couldn't devote the necessary time to the cause.

After work, I was meeting Esme for the big reveal of my Antonia designed dress. She had met with me a few weeks after our first appointment to show me the sketches she had designed. They were all great, but then I realized if she took elements from one and added them to the other, it was without a doubt my dream dress. She sent me a drawing a few days later and I cried when I saw it. It was perfect.

I showered quickly and slid into jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Esme met me in the lobby with Edward and Carlisle at her side. Alice and Rose joined us moments later and we left the boys to travel to Toni's shop on Michigan Avenue.

We were greeted by several snooty attendants who looked down their long pompous noses at me until they realized I was with Esme Cullen. When they realized I was the bride who was seeing the Antonia original custom created just for me, their eyes grew wide. They had been expecting suburban old money royalty, not downstate, small town me.

Toni walked out, shooing them away in annoyance before leading us to the private gallery in the back room. My gown was covered in a dark shimmery blue cloth, so she could unveil it like a statue at a gallery opening. The girls settled on the chairs as I stood next to the mannequin excitedly.

Toni pulled the cloth away dramatically and three loud gasps came from the sofa as I stared at the soft white gown with flowing grace. My eyes began to tear up as I imagined wearing it, walking between the chairs toward Edward, who was waiting for me under the arch at the water's edge. It was my dream, come true.

I walked to Toni, wrapped my arms around her shoulders, and cried into her ear my many thanks.

"It's everything I dreamed it would be."

I tried it on and modeled for Esme and the girls. They all cried as they watched me walk out of the dressing room and step onto the raised podium for Toni to pin the hem and a few places under my arms to be taken in before allowing me to change back into my clothes.

When I stepped back out, Esme wrapped me in her arms, still dabbing at the corners of her eyes.

"You look like an angel in that dress, Bella. Edward is going to love it. It's perfect!"

That night, I went home to my fiancé, leaving the stresses of our world behind me. I curled up with him on our bed and rested my head on his chest, listening to the steady cadence of his heart. As long as he was at my side, I would make it through anything. I just had to hold on with all my might and remind myself often of his love. No matter what Varner tried to throw at me, I was going to pull through.

_**Okay folks…next chapter will be the trial. We're getting REALLY close to the end now. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**_

_**I've created a blog now for all my stories in one location. So I will be putting teasers for them and have all of my banners there if anyone would like to see them. Go check it out .com**_


	56. On The Hot Seat

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters borrowed from the Twilight Series. This plot line and the original characters, however, are all from my abnormally vivid imagination!**

_**Welcome to the trial. Hope you enjoy. Thanks to Sihaya9 for her always excellent beta work, and Sassenach Wench for Validating. Hope you enjoy! Also, this is our last full on lemon, so savor it while you can :)**_

**On The Hot Seat**

**EPOV**

We had a week between our return from California and the beginning of the trial. The hospital requested that Bella attend the entire trial in lieu of working the floor upon the suggestion of the Belikov legal team. They had suggested that it was important to keep a face to represent the loyal hospital staff in the room throughout the trial to keep the sympathies of the jury. They even went as far as sending her to a stylist to polish her 'look' for the trial.

I hated the whole fucking process. To suggest that my Bella was inadequate was ridiculous. The worst part was that she tended to take it all on personally, far more than she really should. She was an absolute nervous wreck.

The trial started on Monday, June 14th with Varner beginning by bringing the plaintiffs onto the stand to testify. Eighteen different plaintiffs had filed a single all encompassing lawsuit against the hospital sighting negligence on the part of the hospital to provide proper precautionary measures, which they claimed subsequently resulted in their own personal pain and suffering. Never mind that all but two of the plaintiffs managed to escape as soon as Trager entered and weren't even in the waiting room during the standoff.

When Dimitri showed Bella the list, she flipped out. I don't know if I had ever seen her as mad as she was that day. She paced in the conference room for half an hour ranting questions about how it was even possible that individuals not even in the room with them could possibly have any claim to compensation. Between Dimitri, Jasper, Emmett, and I, we finally calmed her down enough to get her home. That night she tossed and turned, mumbling in her sleep about crooked people wanting something for nothing.

Following the opening remarks of both lawyers, the first two days of the trial were back-to-back plaintiffs followed by 'expert witnesses' who testified on their behalf. I sat next to Bella in the second row, behind the lawyers. She squeezed my hand in hers so hard throughout the first two days that her knuckles were blanched white the majority of the time court was in session.

She sat straight in her seat, her body tense as she resisted the urge to react to the testimony of the people on the stand. Occasionally she would shake her head minutely in annoyance, or huff under her breath, as the people who weren't even in the room would wax poetic over the horrors they endured during their thirty seconds in the room with Trager before they were led out by the dedicated staff members. Never once did they give credit to the braved individuals who risked themselves to help get everyone that they could out.

She tried so hard to stay professional and be the compassionate face of the hospital that was supposed to endear the jury to their case, but it wasn't always an easy job. When her breathing would speed slightly in reaction to something someone on the stand said, or a slightly underhanded jab by Varner that would immediately be objected by Dimitri, I did the only thing I could to comfort her. I would rub my thumb across the back of her hand in small, soothing circles, while draping by other arm across the chair behind her, brushing my fingers across her shoulder comfortingly. It wasn't much, especially when what I really wanted to do was call the lying sacks of shit out for this whole mess and for putting my girl through this fucking circus when she suffered more than enough from the event itself. Hell, if anyone deserved compensation for pain and suffering, it was Bella for being put through this mother fucking trial.

In addition to everything going on with the trial, Rose's blood pressure was slowly beginning to creep up higher than her obstetrician really wanted. Playing a better safe than sorry card, she was placed on bed rest for the last week before her due date. Bella and Alice both went into hyperactive doctor mode, creating a schedule where they made sure her blood pressure was taken at least twice a day. They kept it all charted at home, just to make sure all was well.

The beginning of the third day of the trial, the plaintiffs brought forth a few more 'expert witnesses' before they officially rested their case. I felt Bella's hand tighten on mine as she took a slow stuttering breath.

The judge glanced at his watch before ruling that the court would dismiss for a two-hour lunch break before reconvening. As soon as he got up and left his seat, the bodies filling the room began to shift and get up as the low hum of over a hundred voices filled the room. Dimitri, Marcus, and Alec all pivoted in unison to face us, looking directly at Bella.

"We've discussed this, Bella, and decided that we aren't going to start with you today. We want your story to come tomorrow morning when the jury is fresh and haven't already sat through hours of boring prosecution testimony. Instead, we're starting with Alice and a few of the other staff members. Be ready first thing tomorrow morning though, okay?"

Bella whimpered so lowly next to me, I doubted anyone besides me could hear her. She swallowed hard, nodded, and spoke with far more confidence than she felt.

"Okay, Dimitri, I'll be ready tomorrow morning." I watched with pride when she reached forward to shake his hand, only the tiniest of tremors in her fingers gave away her true nerves.

Dimitri took her hand with that smile and look in his eye that always bothered me. I was no fool. I could tell he had a crush on Bella, but at the same time, I tried not to be nervous about it. I had total faith in my girl. She would never dream of cheating on me, and I don't feel this way because of me personally, but rather simply the type of person that she is.

Dimitri held her hand a bit longer than necessary and then finally released it. She leaned over and shook both Marcus' and Alec's hand before twining her fingers with mine again, resting her head on my arm and tucking her other hand into my elbow.

I looked down at her face. My heart clenched as I took in how utterly exhausted she was. I made up my mind then and there that I was going to get her away from everything for a while. Just like I did when she had finals, I was going to distract her.

When we left the building, we found Alice, Jasper, Andy, and Emmett all waiting for us. We told them Dimitri's game plan and they all looked furtively at Alice. She sighed, sending a small smile at us before stepping to the other side of Bella, linking her arm inside Bella's.

"So, where are we going for lunch?" Alice asked.

I smirked and mouthed to the guys my idea. They all laughed and nodded.

The girls protested as we pulled them both to the cars, not letting either of them in on the secret. Bella huffed a little as we drove to Clark Street. When we pulled up in front of Dave & Busters, she dropped her head back on the headrest and laughed a deep, welcomed, belly laugh.

It was pretty busy as we walked into what was essentially Chuck E Cheese for adults, except with way better food. Alice bounced around like a little Mexican jumping bean, looking around for a place to sit.

Evidently, it was a good call because the girls giggled their way through the next hour, playing ski ball together and racing each other in the indy car simulators while us guys waited for our food to arrive. We all dug eagerly into our thick juicy burgers and fries, then scurried off right away to go play again.

After we polished off the food, Alice disappeared to some game on the far side of the room with Jasper. I claimed Bella, dragging her to a first person shooter game with a smirk. Emmett followed with a deep chuckle. I popped the coins in and set us up on two-player mode.

Annie Oakley held her own in the World War II based game, but I of course creamed her, as I should certainly hope, since I am, after all, the trained professional. Emmett took me on next while Bella gravitated over the pin ball machine and happily played bonus after bonus round until finally it was time to go and she offered some guy passing by to finish her game.

None of us wanted to leave the fun land we had escaped to in order to go back to the trial and be reminded once more of reality. We all dragged our feet back into our cars and crossed town to the court house.

We arrived with fifteen minutes to spare, Alec immediately snatching Alice away as soon as she walked through the door to talk with him, Marcus, and Dimitri. She nodded slowly as he spoke, all signs of the happy little pixie just moments ago was gone in a heartbeat.

Alice came back to sit between Bella and Jasper, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her skirt, waiting for the judge to come back in.

The Bailiff beside the door to the judge's chambers called out "All Rise."

We stood as ordered and sat back down when given permission.

The judge turned toward Dimitri with a sigh.

"Mr. Belikov, is the defense ready to present its first witness?"

Dimitri stood. "Yes your honor, the defense would like to call Dr. Alice Brandon to the stand please."

The judge nodded. I watched both Bella and Jasper squeeze Alice's hand before she stepped forward through the small swinging half door and up to the stand. The bailiff swore her in. She settled into the seat, her tiny frame making her nearly disappear behind the brown wooden partition that ran along the front of the witness stand.

Dimitri began to question Alice; she answered in a much stronger voice than most people who didn't know the spitfire wrapped in such a tiny package would expect. She answered every question without the slightest hesitation. Dimitri smiled warmly at her when he ended his line of questioning.

Varner stood up and crossed to stand in front of Alice, beginning his questioning with a very polite and friendly tone. Alice, who had tensed when he was called up to question her, began to relax slightly in her seat.

Varner made her go through the timeline of the morning again bit by bit, stopping her when Trager entered the room.

"Dr. Brandon, please tell us what happened after the perpetrator entered the doors of the building. Did any of the security guards step forward to stop him? Did anyone do anything to try to head this disaster off before it began?"

Alice's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. "Well no, but..."

Varner cut her off. "Thank you, Dr. Brandon. Now what actions were taken to evacuate the patients in the waiting room in the moments following his entrance?"

Alice explained how she and the other staff herded people through all of the other exits to the room as quickly as possible with the chaos that ensued.

"Now surely at this point some type of security showed up to try to take care of the situation."

"Well, no, but with the crowd pushing through the hallways to get out, there was no way for anyone to go against the pushing flow to get in there."

"Did you see any security personnel at all?"

Alice frowned, "Well, yes, they were helping keep people from hurting one another while trying to get out, and they helped clear the hallways. We had to evacuate much of that portion of the hospital during that time."

"So none of the security personnel even attempted to get into that room?"

"Well, no, but..."

Varner smiled triumphantly. "Thank you, Dr. Brandon. I have no more questions."

Alice just sat there looking a bit shell shocked, her mouth hanging open slightly in the aftermath of the whole event.

I was beginning to loose the feeling in my right hand because Bella squeezed so hard she was cutting off the circulation slightly. If she hadn't been nervous about being on the stand before, she definitely was now.

Varner gave Alice no chance to qualify any of her answers, as any good lawyer would do. He got just enough to validate his claims, without weakening his position. Very few people knew that for many, many years I had aspirations of being a lawyer like my Dad, Edward Masen Sr. I had actually started off in Criminal Justice with an intention of going to law school after I graduated from undergrad, but when I met the guys, my plans changed. Even though I never went to law school, I still had a bit of a passion for the law and for skillful maneuvering in the courtroom. Varner was good, very good, but the Belikov brothers were better.

The judge looked to Dimitri to see if he wanted to redirect. Dimitri smiled and nodded as she slowly stood behind the table, smiling widely at Alice.

"Dr. Brandon, you were a first hand witness of the whole event from the time Trager entered the premises until you exited the building with the last of the patients in the waiting room who escaped, correct?"

Alice nodded with a small "yes."

"How long did this whole exchange take place?"

Alice shook her head as she mentally played out the events in her mind. "It's hard to tell, everything seemed to happen in slow motion, but I'm guessing less than a minute."

"In your opinion, Dr. Brandon, do you think it would have been possible for the security officers to reach the waiting room in the midst of the group of bodies moving together away from the area?"

Alice shook her head adamantly. "No way, nobody could have gotten past that mob. There were too many of us crammed together in the hallway."

He smiled brightly at her, "Thank you, Dr. Brandon. That was the last of my questions."

The judge turned to Alice telling her she could step down and she shuffled quickly away from the stand to settle back in her seat, resting her head on Jasper's shoulder as he cradled her in his arms. She reached her hand over to Bella's and held it tightly between them for a long time.

We watched while they continued this process through several other workers in the room that day that had all escaped with Alice and the bulk of the plaintiffs. It was a long day, Varner continued to try to skew the answers in his favor, but the longer I watched the weaker I knew his case was. He really was trying to push that the hospital security should have tried to take on Trager, which would have been the worst move and would only have resulted in more loss of life, and possibly even the detonation of the C4. No, as traumatic as things were for the people in that room, the end result of SWAT taking over the scene versus unprepared hospital security was definitely the lesser of possible odds.

One major negative of his case being so weak was the fact that he was definitely going to work hard to break down Bella's testimony. Seeing the way he manipulated the answers to fit his own idea of what he wanted the jury to see, I feared for how he was going to twist Bella's words and actions on that day to suit his agenda. I ran my hands anxiously through my hair as I envisioned my Bella on the stand the next day.

I sighed, chancing a glance over to see how pale and anxious she looked. Thankfully, before too terribly long, the judge dismissed the courtroom for the rest of the day with order to reconvene at nine the next morning.

The Belikovs spun in unison again to talk quietly with Bella over the railing that separated them, continuing to reassure her. Bella voiced her concerns over Varner's examination tactics but Dimitri just smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder, locking eyes with hers. I struggled to resist the urge to break off his fingers.

"Bella, I'll be right there the whole time. No matter what, I will sort it all out in the redirect. Don't worry. I won't let him do too much damage. You're a good person with a slate as clean as a whistle. Heck, you don't even have a parking ticket on your record. Trust me, what little he does try to dredge up to discredit you will be easily fixed on the redirect. You'll be fine. We'll get through it together."

Bella smiled with faked sincerity and promised to be ready to go first thing the next morning. She curled into my side as we left the building, grasping her arms tightly around her waist, holding on for dear life.

I took her home, leading her to the couch where she collapsed in exhaustion. It had been a long day and the impending stress tomorrow was not making matters any better. I helped her slide out of the black high heels that the stylist forced on her, before pulling the pins out of her hair that were holding it into a twist on top of her head, shaking her hair free.

She sighed when I ran the pads of my fingers over her scalp, massaging gently, before letting my hands drift to her shoulders. She moaned and rolled her head forward as I kneaded the taut muscles of her neck and shoulders with my thumbs.

After she was about as relaxed as she was going to get that evening, I got up to order us some carry out for supper before melting onto the couch next to her. We propped our feet up, curling them together on the coffee table, flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch.

I let her choose a movie, seeing that she had no control over anything in her life this week, I figured anything would help. I sighed and settled back, trying to keep my eyes propped open during some Nora Roberts movie from the marathon on Lifetime.

I got up a few times during the movie to make some popcorn and get drink refills, but otherwise just relaxed with my girl. While she had spent the better part of her later years surrounded by guys, she was definitely still a girl, getting all weepy over the ending of the movie.

I tried not to laugh, cuddling her close instead. I soothed her before suggesting we get ready for bed. While listening to the sounds of her getting cleaned up in the bathroom, a thought crossed my mind, a devious smirk sliding across my face. I was already starting to get a little hard thinking about it.

She stepped out of the bathroom wearing a pair of shorts and a tiny cotton tank top. She was focused on her bedtime ritual, not even seeing that I was naked and kneeling on her side of the bed with my hand clasped behind my neck. When she rounded her side of the bed, she jumped with wide eyes upon spotting me.

I looked up at her with dark eyes, my body now fully aroused and awaiting her command.

"Edward? What are you doing?" She asked, standing awkwardly at the end of the bed with her brows furrowed tightly in confusion.

"I am yours to command tonight, Mistress Bella. I will do whatever you ask, be whatever you ask. My body, my heart, my mind, and my soul are yours to control. Tell me what you want and I'll happily comply."

She swallowed hard, and then a slow smirk melted across her face. She pulled her lip over her bottom teeth as her tongue slipped out to drag over it slowly before she nibbled on it with her top teeth. Her lips pulled into a thin line as her eyes darkened perceptively.

"Stay there, just like that. I will be right back."

She disappeared into our closet, stepping out a few minutes later, holding a medium sized black satin box that I had never seen before. She carried it to the bed, sitting it on her hope chest at the foot of it and pulling the lid off slowly.

"This was actually a surprise I was saving for our honeymoon, but I think tonight would be a good time to reveal a few of its secrets. Rose got this for me a couple of weeks ago as an early bridal shower gift, knowing I would kill her if she gave it to me in front of everyone."

She reached into the box, slowly pulling out a black satin scarf. I heard a few other items shuffle in the box as she dug a little deeper, pulling something I couldn't see and sitting it on top of the items inside.

She smiled, stepping towards me, and reaching her hand down to caress my cheek and jaw lovingly. I stared up at her in awe. She never ceased to surprise me.

She hooked her finger under my chin to make me look up a little more as she leaned down claiming my lips tenderly before slowly increasing the passion. Slowly, her hands drifted onto my shoulders, grasping my arms and tugging them free from behind my head. I let her guide me as she lifted my hands around her to grasp her thighs.

She broke our kiss with a smile. "I love you, Edward," she whispered, lifting her hands to slide the scarf over my eyes and tying it behind my head.

"Touch me, Edward," she whispered, leaning back down to kiss my lips.

My hands roamed up and down her silky thighs, cupping her ass, sliding my thumbs under the fabric to brush across her bare skin. I shifted my hands slightly, allowing my fingers to slide along her inner thigh under her underwear, brushing lightly along her already damp folds.

She broke our kiss with a sigh. I could tell she had thrown her head back. I leaned forward, finding the hem of her tank top with my teeth and dragging it up to expose the flesh of her stomach. As I continued brushing my fingers, adding a bit more pressure with each pass between her legs, I trailed hot open-mouthed kisses across her stomach. She whimpered and moaned above me.

"Edward, take off my bottoms and touch me more, kiss me more, I want to feel your mouth where your fingers are."

I moaned, immediately shifting my hands to clutch at the crotch of her shorts and underwear, tugging down to yank them to her feet.

She giggled and shifted to step out of them as my face immediately leaned forward to kiss along her hips, searching for the Promised Land. When I found my destination, my lips claimed her clit while my arms once again snaked around her thighs to tease her opening from behind; she yelped.

She buried her fingers in my hair, pulling me closer as she praised me for following directions so well. I couldn't help but smirk against her hot sweet flesh between luscious licks. After a few moments, I grasped her leg, lifting it over my shoulder as I steadied her with my other hand, increasing the speed and pressure of my tongue while my fingers reached deeper inside of her, curling to tap at her g-spot. She exploded around me, shoving me harder into her as she shivered.

Her leg that had been holding her up began to buckle. I spun her so she was fell on the edge of the bed, as I continued to gently caress her with my tongue while she rode out her climax. When the shivers stopped, I leaned in to kiss her slightly salty top lip tenderly twice before she yanked my head back up, attacking my lips with her own as she hummed happily into my mouth.

I felt my eyes rolling in my head when her hand drifted down in front of me, grasping me firmly and stroking me a few times before she broke away.

"Edward, climb up on the bed. Sit up with your back against the headboard."

I immediately did as she asked, while she moved at the end of the bed. I rested against the headboard just as I felt the mattress dip to the right of me. Seconds later, I felt cold metal wrap my wrist with a click. It tugged me slightly to the side and I heard a second click nearby. Bella straddled me doing the same with my other hand.

I had to fight getting overly excited as I realized we were finally breaking out the handcuffs again. We had used them once right after Christmas, but we didn't really get them out again after that. We were both perfectly happy with each other without having to drag out all of the props. I had to admit, though, I was more than just a little excited to have them back out tonight.

Once the cuffs were secured, I felt Bella shifting on top of me. She leaned in, her body now naked as she rubbed up against me. She wrapped her hands tightly in my hair, pulling me forward, attacking my mouth in a frenzy. Her moist, hot core, slid across my painfully hard erection. I whimpered at the contact.

She slid slowly down my body, my blocked sight making each sound and sensation of her body touching and caressing mine that much more intense. I moaned gratefully when her journey brought her mouth to the painful steel rod between my legs.

She teased me with small licks and nibbles before she disappeared. I wanted to cry in disappointment, until I felt her hand behind my head. Seconds later my eyes were freed from their dark prison. I looked to see gloriously naked Bella kneeling beside me.

"I want you to see this, Edward. I want you to see me suck your cock until you explode in my mouth. Do not close your eyes. You do and I will stop."

I whimpered and forced my eyes to stay open as she shifted to kneel between my legs, slithering to lie on her stomach before me, her eyes trained on me with each movement. When she reached my waist, she tugged my hips out, giving me a better angle to watch, before sliding me into her mouth with a moan.

It was amazing to watch as she hollowed her cheeks, really getting into it. She moaned and groaned around me, her hands stroking my thigh and the base of my shaft. It didn't take long before I yelled out as she swallowed down the seemingly never ending hot streams that forced their way from my body.

She popped off with a smirk then slithered back up my body, looking at me through her lashes. She shifted me into a more comfortable sitting position again, massaging my shoulders that had been slightly strained in my former position. She buried her fingers in my hair as she rose to the full height of her knees to straddle me, pulling my face down to her chest, and ordering me to kiss her rosy peaks.

I focused on caressing her buds with my tongue and lips one at a time, my arousal quickly returned between the position and the aphrodisiac that her taking such confident control was for me. I was so focused on my newly appointed task, that I didn't even notice she was using a key to release my hands until the first one fell free. Without instruction, I immediately moved my newly freed hand to join the work of my mouth, grateful to be able to touch her again. She quickly freed my other hand, which immediately lifted the weight of the breast I was lavishing with my tongue to provide a better angle.

She tossed back her head while I continued to worship her breasts. Finally, she pulled me away by my hair, lifting my gaze to look her in the face.

"Mmmm, Edward, I want you inside me now. Position yourself for me."

I grasped my now fully erected manhood, grazing it along her folds until the tip slid into her entrance. One side of her mouth lifted into a sexy smirk as her eyes stayed locked with mine, she slowly, millimeter by heavenly millimeter, lowered herself until I was sheathed completely within her warmth.

Once I was seated fully within her, she didn't raise back up as I expected, but rather rolled her hips in a circular pattern, grasping my shoulders tightly with her hands for leverage. Never closing her eyes for longer than a fleeting blink, she writhed on top of me, holding my gaze as the tension quickly built within my abdomen and scrotum.

Her hands shifted from my shoulders to my face as she leaned forward, claiming my lips with her, her tongue darting in and out as we panted into one another's mouths.

Suddenly, without any warning, she grasped my shoulders again and tugged to the side, pulling me on top of her, we landed sideways across the bed, her head hanging off the end slightly.

"Edward, oh God, harder, Edward. Make me scream!"

I shifted to my knees, pulling her lower back up to get a better angle and began to speed my thrusts. I gripped her hips, pulling her up to me while I thrust into her, causing her back to arch beautifully with each thrust. All too soon, we were both screaming 'fuck' mixed with one another's names and we came hard.

We fell together on the bed panting and laughing.

"Good God woman, you surprise the hell out of me. I never expected you to get quite so into it, but I'm sure glad you did."

She rolled on top of me with a devious smile, the swat glistening on her collarbones and cheeks, she quirked a single eyebrow.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen, just wait until I get you on our honeymoon. Rose gave me a whole box full of goodies that I fully intend to try out."

My eyes grew wide as I started to get up and lunge for the box, but she grabbed my hand slammed the cuff back over my wrist, effectively keeping me from peeking.

"Un, un, uh…no spoiling the surprise, Mr. Cullen. If you peek, you might just end up getting a spanking."

I gasped in surprise. "Holy Fuck, I created a monster!"

She just laughed, shaking her head. "You wish. Don't even think about trying to spank me, Mister. No submissive punishments for me. I'm not into pain, receiving or inflicting! I just had to mess with you."

I laughed, using my free hand to pull her back on top of me, kissing her gently.

"You know I love you, Bella. Don't you?"

She nodded, kissing me again, before hopping up and putting everything, with the exception of the cuffs keeping me confined, back in the box. She returned it to the hiding place in the closet before coming to release me, making me snuggle in next to her. She sighed contentedly before we passed out, both of us grateful for the release that dissolved a bit of the tension about what we were to face the next day.

o~O~o

The next morning, Bella nervously emerged from the bathroom. I could feel my breath catch a little in my chest at how utterly beautiful she was. Her hair was once again swept up into a French twist and she had worn light make-up. She wore a maroon colored skirt that hit just above her knees, with a matching long sleeve zippered suit type jacket and a silky looking black tank top underneath. She had a single string of white pearls around her neck and a pair of black high heels, which made me worry for her safety. Bella in chunky heels was halfway safe, but today they had her dressed in thin heels that looked as though they would twist out from underneath her at any second. At least they weren't very tall.

She sighed, tugging at her skirt in an attempt to make it a bit longer before fiddling with her hair in the mirror.

I stepped up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her against my chest. I dipped in to kiss her long beautiful neck that was conveniently exposed to me, before resting my chin against her shoulder.

"You look wonderful, Bella…the perfect combination of beautiful and professional. You're going to be great!"

She sighed, lifting a pair of matching pearl earrings from the dresser, sliding them into her earlobes and securing the back carefully.

"I hope so. So much is riding on me. I hope I can do the hospital justice."

I chuckled, squeezing her a little tighter. "You'll do more than that, love. You're going to do them proud. You'll see."

She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, her limbs already beginning to tremble with nerves.

"I hope so. I want to get there early to talk to Dimitri one last time. Are you ready?" She asked locking eyes with me in the mirror.

I smiled with a nod before taking her hand and leading her down the hallway.

The way to the building was difficult. The media was out in full force. Evidently, the word had been leaked that Bella would be testifying that morning. My girl had grabbed the media's attention during the whole mess, when they touted her as the hometown hero. Hopefully, some of that appreciation for her throughout the community would help her now.

She left me at our seats when we arrived, approaching Dimitri at the lawyer's table. I watched with an uneasiness growing inside me when he smiled and talked to her. I could tell that she wasn't even noticing the softness in his eyes or the way he would lay his hand only slightly innocently on her arm.

As much as it pissed me off, I knew she trusted him, and he was only reassuring her about the trial. It might have been slightly more to him, but it wasn't to her. As hard as it was, I had to keep remembering that there was nothing to worry about. I trusted Bella.

After a few more minutes of watching her nervously fidget with her engagement ring while she spoke with him, she finally returned to my side, grabbing my hand tightly as she sat down next to me.

"What did he have to say, love?"

She sighed. "I was nervous about how he kept trying to manipulate Alice's words. I'm worried hes going to do that to me. Dimitri was assuring me that even if he did, he would straighten it all out in his redirect."

Her hand reached up to rub the bridge of her nose. I smiled a little knowing she had picked that up from me.

"I'm just so nervous that I'm going to say something bad up there." She threw her head back, her eyes closed tightly. "God, I hate this, Edward! I'll be so glad when all of this is over!"

I rubbed her back comfortingly as I leaned into her ear. "I know, my love. It will all be over soon. You're going to be fine. You have nothing to hide. Just tell the truth about what happened. That's all you can really do."

She nodded, her hands trembling even more so in mine.

I reached up to swipe away a single tear that escaped the corner of her eye with the pad of the thumb.

"If you get anxious, sweetheart, just look at me. I am sitting right here for you. I'm not going anywhere. If it gets to be too much, just focus on me. I'll be there to help you get through it."

She nodded and leaned to rest her head on my shoulder.

She looked up, looking around with a furrowed brow. "Where's Emmett? I thought he was going to be here today for this?"

I looked around with a frown. I pulled my phone out only to see that there was no reception in the building. I shook my head before putting it away and holding her to my side again.

"I don't know, but I'm sure he'll be here soon."

A few moments later, we all rose at the order of the Baliff to begin the rituals of the new day for the trial began. A couple of minutes later, the judge addressed Dimitri and he stood, smiling over his shoulder at Bella before responding.

"Thank you, your honor. The defense calls Doctor Isabella Swan to the stand."

Bella slowly stood, clasping her hands in front of her as she slowly walked toward her place at the stand. Her nerves were highly visible in the small shake in her hand as she held it up to take her oath of truth before sitting awkwardly in the leather chair behind the wooden partition of the witness stand.

Dimitri rose to walk toward her, leading her through the opening questions. She explained the events of the day in sequential order and the things she had done to keep her patients safe. Her voice cracked several times, and when she reached the points that were more traumatic for her, she would fidget with her engagement ring and look up at me taking deep breaths. Eventually, she would push her way through and continue on with amazing poise for what she was trying to relay.

It was surprising how many tiny details she held in her mind of that day, but I guess the mind processes situations of that sort in two ways. Either the mind blurs the events into a clouded mess of memory, or it burns itself so deeply into the mind that the details stay crystal clear. In Bella's case, the details were definitely sharply etched in her mind.

Dimitri walked her through the SWAT infiltration and the moments that led up to her shooting the gun that took out Trager. I noticed Varner shifting uncomfortably in his seat. I smiled. Dimitri was one smart son of a bitch. He saw what Varner was up to and was doing his best to cut off his argument at the knees.

Eventually, Dimitri ended his questioning and the judge turned the floor over to Varner. Bella tensed as Varner stepped up to stand in front of her with a disarming smile.

"Dr. Swan, can you please tell the court how long you've been employed by Northwestern Hospital?"

Bella shifted slightly, "Um, I'm a first year intern. I did my clinicals there during med school and started my internship in August."

"So, technically you're still a student."

"Yes, but it's not unusual to be treated by students in a teaching hospital such as Northwestern. We are always paired with one or more senior physicians who make sure we covered all of our bases and double-check our diagnosis. We have, however, already passed our boards, so we are considered doctors, but we do have a supervisory period of our internship and residency before we can practice on our own."

"Tell me, Dr. Swan, were you a good student? Are you considered a good intern?"

Bella shifted again, a slow blush creeping up her face. "Uh, yes, sir. I graduated near the top of my class and as to my knowledge I am considered a good intern."

Varner turned toward the jury with a sarcastic grin. "Oh don't be modest, Dr. Swan. You and, what do the hospital staff call you, the…Femme Docs? Yes, you and the Femme docs are considered the best of the best, the elite. I'm assuming that since within your profession, doctors are already known to be quite arrogant when they are worth their salt, that it must have been a great boost to your ego to be considered the best of the best."

Bella frowned at him as he paced in front of the jury, casting knowing looks at his audience as he walked.

"I'm guessing that such acclaim probably tends to make an intern such as yourself feel pretty good, maybe even a little cocky?"

Bella shook her head at him and her brow furrowed more deeply.

"No sir, I know my place. I would never assume…"

Varner cut her off, "But, Dr. Swan, we have several witnesses swear in affidavits that just hours before the gunman entered the room you had a disagreement with colleagues about your judgment calls as you were working triage in the waiting room. Several eyewitnesses share the same description of you declaring openly that your superiors had faith in your personal discretion and abilities and that was why you were chosen to work that job that morning. Is that correct, Dr. Swan?"

Bella looked flustered as her back straightened in her chair. "Yes, but…"

I felt my nails begin to dig painfully into my palms as I watched him try to make my beautiful brave Bella out to be cocky and reckless.

He cut her off again. "In addition to your over confidence in your medical knowledge, you also have a more than minimal knowledge of weaponry, and guns in particular. Isn't this correct?"

Bella stammered, "I…I have a little knowledge about guns. From a young age, my father taught me about proper gun handling and safety. I am pretty accurate with hand guns."

Varner's eyes twinkled as a triumphant grin spread across his face.

"Yes, your father taught you well. You're rather proud of your sharp shooting capabilities, are you not? You were well known among your father's colleagues as an 'Annie Oakley' wasn't it? You even have gone as far as to go range shooting with your fiancé and brother's SWAT team in Minnesota while you were on the run from our gunman nearly a month before the shooting, were you not?"

Bella's eyes grew wide, wondering how he knew all of this information and what it has to do with anything. "Y…yes, sir. My father was proud of my abilities when I hit my teen years. My brother, fiancé, and the rest of the team went to go support me when I wanted to brush up on my skills when I was worried about Trager."

Varner looked like a predator about to strike as his white teeth glinted toward Bella. "Yes, you did brush up your skills didn't you? When you saw the man of your nightmares step through that door, you arrogantly saw your chance to use your skills to take care of the man once and for all. You had the weaponry, know how, and knew if you had the chance, you could take the law into your own hands.

"OBJECTION!" Dimitri yelled from behind his chair, his face red and his hands balled up similarly to my own. He was just as angry as I was at the direction Varner's questioning had taken.

"Dr. Swan is not on trial. Mr. Varner's assertions are pure speculation, bordering on slander."

"Sustained," the judge calmly responded, glancing toward the jury. "You will disregard Mr. Varner's last comments."

Dimitri slumped back in his seat as Varner grinned back at the other lawyers at his table. He knew as well as we did, even though the judge sustained and told the jury to forget what was said, they were human and tended to hold onto such details even when told not to. It didn't matter that it was officially stricken from the testimony; the seed of doubt had been planted.

"Dr. Swan, you had interactions with the gunman before he entered the premises that day, did you not?"

"Yes, I did," Bella replied shakily, her hands fidgeting on her lap, spinning her engagement ring in an effort to find comfort.

"Actually, at one point you were granted a leave of absence because of the threat Trager posed to you personally, thanks to your connections. If he posed such a danger to you, then why were you practicing on the day in question?"

Bella cleared her throat. "According to official reports, Trager had been on the run. We had been told he had been captured down south and was in federal custody. As far as anybody here knew, the danger was past."

"But he wasn't in custody?"

Bella shifted slightly, "No, his twin brother had taken his place to allow him to get away. He was hiding out in Chicago the whole time."

"The day of the event in question, the farce had been revealed, it was even in the Tribune that morning." Varner said, holding a newspaper and walking slowly in front of the jury so they could read the headline.

"Knowing this information, shouldn't you have been removed from duty?"

Bella frowned, "We hadn't been informed of that. The first any of us knew of that situation was when my fiancé read it in the paper hours after I had left for my day. By the time he read the article, Trager had already taken over the ER."

"While you were there with the hostages, did you ever try to talk the gunman into letting people go?"

She sighed, nodding her head as she gazed at her lap. "Yes, I begged him several times to let everyone go, particularly the more critical cases. We didn't have many, but we did have a few that were on the higher priority list."

"A priority list you set, am I correct?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir, Alice and I were both on triage that morning, in charge of evaluating the patients and labeling them according to how critical their condition was."

"So, you, a first year intern, were basically placed in charge of selecting who was to be relegated to what area, and ultimately who was trapped in that room when the gunman arrived."

Bella's eyes began to swim with tears, and her lip quivered. She had never voiced this directly to me, but I knew she carried that guilt to some degree. I wanted to hop over the banister and sucker punch that asshole for trying to put any of this on Bella. She was the most innocent of us all in this.

"OBJECTION, Your Honor!" Dimitri cried out again. His hand gripped the edge of the table in front of him and it looked as though it could snap under his strength. "This line of questioning has nothing at all to do with the case. Mr. Varner is simply trying his best to diminish the witnesses' nearly perfect reputation in the eyes of the jury."

The judge sighed, his brow furrowing deeply. "I am overruling for now, but Mr. Varner, be forewarned that you are treading a very thin line here. If you cross it, I will not hesitate to end your line of questioning immediately."

Varner nodded as he crossed back to his table, pulling a file from the top and carrying it up to the stand.

"I only want to cover one more topic, Dr. Swan, and then I will be finished with my questions for you today. You mentioned before that your father taught you to wield a firearm from a pretty young age and you were well known for being a particularly skillful marksman."

Bella nodded in response as he continued.

"This," he said holding up the folder in his hand, "is the coroner's report from the autopsy of James Trager."

Rage turned my vision crimson as he opened the file, placing it in front of Bella on the stand. A sob rose from her chest as she looked at the images before her. I could only imagine what she was seeing and what memories it was bringing back to the surface. Her hand flew over her mouth, as her shoulders hunched, the other arm wrapping around her stomach as she bent at the waist.

"This is the damage you inflicted on Trager when you fired the shot at him with his second .50 caliber weapon. Now tell me, Dr. Swan, why such an accurate marksman who could have chosen any part of his body to incapacitate him, chose such a deadly shot to take down the gunman."

The courtroom began to rumble loudly as I jumped up and yelled out that the son of a bitch better shut the fuck up, the same moment Dimitri hopped up screaming, "OBJECTION, OBJECTION, OBJECTION!"

The judge pounded his gavel loudly against the round wooden pedestal it set upon to regain order in his courtroom as Bella sobbed, gasping for air.

"Varner, you are finished with Dr. Swan, and if I ever see you provoke a witness needlessly in this manner in my courtroom ever again, you will find yourself in immediate contempt. I will not allow a witness to be attacked so in my courtroom. Dr. Swan is not on trial for the death of Mr. Trager and her actions on that day are not in question here. The jury is to disregard any and all questioning directed in this manner at Dr. Swan."

He turned to Bella with a look of concern as she continued to sit crumpled in on herself in her chair.

"Dr. Swan, are you okay? Do you need a recess to collect yourself?"

She took another shuddering, gasping breath. She slowly peeked her eyes open, locking her gaze with mine. I mouthed the words 'I Love You' to her. She took another long slow breath, followed by another. With each breath, she seemed to slowly re-inflate her body, her crumpled frame growing taller and taller with each inhalation.

After a few long moments, she broke her gaze with me to look at the judge, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand. Her voice was hoarse as she spoke.

"No, your honor," she took a slow shuddering breath, "I think I can finish this."

He smiled with a gentle nod. "So be it." He turned to Dimitri. "Mr. Belikov, you may redirect if you wish."

Dimitri stood up slowly, "Yes, your honor, we would."

Dimitri cast an angry glare at Varner as he passed. When he reached the witness stand, he held out a box of Kleenex to Bella. She took one cautiously and dabbed at her eyes.

"Dr. Swan, would you please tell me some of the things your father taught you in regards to the proper use of force in a situation where you are forced to utilize a firearm?"

"Objection!" Varner stated calmly from his seat. "This has no bearing on the case."

Dimitri looked at the judge. "Sir, Mr. Varner brought this up in his line of questioning as a way to diminish this witnesses' character. Since he brought it up, I think it's only fair to allow Dr. Swan to qualify his accusations in her own defense."

"I will allow it since it was brought up by the opposition, but, Mr. Belikov, you too must tow that line."

Dimitri nodded with a smile. "Understood, your honor."

The judge nodded at Bella and she took a slow breath before responding.

"My father taught us safety first. After that, we were taught that the best thing to do in a situation where there is minimal risk is to incapacitate the assailant. I was taught to focus on gun hand and knees first and foremost."

"But in the case of Mr. Trager, you did not utilize this technique. Would you like to tell the court why?"

She sighed, "There were several reasons why. First of all, I was not at an optimal angle to ensure I would in fact hit his arm in the proper manner, and a rogue .50 caliber that is capable of piercing armor could injure an innocent if it missed its mark. More than that, though, I was also taught that when in the face of imminent danger with a person who most certainly meant to kill others, it was best to insure that the assailant would not have a chance to injure yourself or others. Thus, you go for a more lethal shot."

Her voice broke and a fresh batch of sobs bubbled up from her chest as she continued bravely. "The whole thing took place over the course of just a few seconds, and yet I made that decision in that time. I will never forgive myself for taking a life, even if he was about to hurt others. I'm a healer, I'm not supposed to hurt people, but I had no choice. I will be haunted for the rest of my life by that day though."

Dimitri nodded solemnly at her as he continued gently.

"Dr. Swan, would you say to the court that the experience the day of November twenty seventh was a traumatizing event for you?"

She swallowed roughly, dabbing at her eyes again as she nodded. Her voice was slightly raspy when she answered verbally in the affirmative.

"What has it taken for you to get to the point where you could practice again or sit bravely before us as you have today to relive the events for us?"

She swallowed and looked over at me. "It took the constant support of my fiancé, my brother, and my friends, and multiple appointments every week with a psychologist. Even then, it took me a long time before I was able to work in the ER. I finally overcame it to help a patient, one that was in that room with us that day, in fact. He's a six-year-old Ostoegenesis Imperfecta patient with brittle bones who had suffered a major trauma. He was asking for me, so after nearly having a debilitating panic attack when I walked in, I finally pushed past it to help him. I've slowly been able to resume working in the ER again since then, but it has taken many, many months."

"Dr. Swan, don't you think that since you suffered so violently from the events of that day, that you should be part of the list of people receiving compensation from the hospital for this day?"

Her head shot up from where she focused on twisting the tissue paper in her hand with wide eyes, as Varner raised an objection to the line of questioning.

Dimitri turned to the judge. "Your honor, every single one of the plaintiffs in this case all sat up here and detailed why felt that they deserved compensation. All but two of those individuals weren't even in the room for the majority of the traumas that Dr. Swan detailed for us today. If they had the opportunity to state why they deserve compensation from the hospital, then Dr. Swan should be allowed to provide reasoning why she feels she does not."

He judge frowned for a moment before nodding. "I'll allow it."

Dimitri turned to Bella with a small smile. "Dr. Swan, please go ahead and answer the question."

"No, not at all," Bella replied without hesitation.

"Why not, Dr. Swan?"

"It wasn't the hospital's fault that this happened. It was Trager's fault and in a way, Trevor Sellers fault, but it was in no way the hospital's fault. It's a public place where people need to be able to come freely to receive care. How could a public facility even begin to ward against something like this event, which was so outside of the norm? Short of turning every public building into some kind of armed police state, I don't see how it's humanly possible. We live in a free society, and unfortunately, there are times that this allows people to make terrible choices that affect many others. This, however, doesn't mean we should try to manipulate restitution from people and places that have no way of controlling these events. I don't blame the hospital for this situation at all, and thus being so, even if I didn't work there, I would never be part of a lawsuit such as this."

Dimitri smiled widely at Bella with a nod before telling the judge he was done.

The judge smiled gently at Bella, gesturing toward the exit to the witness stand as he told her she was free to return to her seat.

Bella held her hands in front of her, twisting her engagement ring incessantly as she walked to her seat, keeping her eyes firmly on mine the entire journey. When she reached me, she smiled at me. I took her hand when she slowly lowered herself next to me, melting into my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, squeezing her closer.

She had been on the stand for nearly forty-five minutes before she returned to my side, and she was thoroughly exhausted. The judge called for a short recess. Dimitri turned to us, telling Bella she did great and if she needed to, she could take the rest of the morning to recuperate. Tanya was slated to go up next, after which there was going to be a lunch break.

Bella and I stepped outside to make our way to the car, both of our phones going crazy the second we were out the doors.

Bella answered, responding to the frantic voice on the other line as she stared at me with large round eyes. She told the other party she'd be there in a moment before closing her phone.

"We have to get to the hospital right now. Rosalie is preeclampitc; she is being taken in for a C-section in forty minutes!"

I hugged her tightly, as she began to cry softly again. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart. They're taking the baby so they will both be safe. They will be fine."

Bella nodded mutely as Jasper appeared at our side. I explained, asking him to inform Dimitri that we might not be back today, before dragging Bella quickly to my Volvo in our rush to the hospital.

_**Author's Note: This was a lot harder than I thought it would be to write! Hopefully it turned out okay and somewhat realistic.I was originally going to have the whole trial in one chapter and the baby in the next, but they had other ideas. I can guarantee next chapter will see the end of the trial and the birth of Emmalie! Hope you enjoy!Now Please leave some delicious reviews!**_


	57. The Eye of the Storm

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the original cast of characters from Twilight, but I am the mastermind of this plotline :)**

_**Thanks as always to Sihaya 9 for her beta work. Also thanks to our own lovely Sassenach Wench for validating these pups for us! Now read on to find out about little Emmalie's entrance into the world and how the rest of the trial plays out. This one is a bit shorter than the last. Hope you enjoy it!**_

_**We only have three chapters left before the epi, bachelor/ette party and other future decisions being made, wedding, and then the reception. Thanks again for everything!**_

**The Eye of the Storm**

**BPOV**

Testifying in the trial was torturous. I don't know if I had ever been through such an emotional rollercoaster as that, with the exception of the actual event itself. That asshole of a lawyer pushed me to the brink so many times, twisting my words and actions, trying to make me look like the bad guy. What the fuck? The asshole holding us all hostage with munitions worthy of military personnel was the bad guy in all of this! All I did was work my ass off to keep everyone healthy and safe and get us through it.

I didn't think anything could have me more stressed out than being on that stand until only a few measly minutes after leaving the courtroom I got the call that Rosalie was suffering from Preeclampsia and was going to be having an emergency C-section. Suddenly, the stress of what I endured faded into the background as concern for my sister-in-law and unborn niece took the forefront.

I asked Jasper to go back in to find Dimitri to tell him the situation and that we wouldn't be back for the afternoon session. I knew Dimitri would understand, and would also have to rework his witness list because I was pretty sure he was planning on starting with the boys once he finished with the rest of the staff.

Edward eyed me warily as he helped me shove my way through the cluster of reporters out front before assisting me into the passenger seat of his Volvo and speeding us toward the hospital.

"So what exactly is going on Bella? What is Preeclumptia anyway?"

I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath at his incorrect terminology. "Preeclampsia is something that only happens to pregnant women and can be very dangerous or even fatal if it goes unchecked. The main symptoms are high blood pressure and protein in the urine. Anyway, the only way to cure it is to deliver the baby. They could have induced, but the impression I got was that her blood pressure is spiking dangerously high and I know Rose is desperate to keep Emma safe. My guess is that the doctor probably suggested it and knowing what all could go wrong if they went the other way, Rose jumped on the idea."

"So this could be dangerous?"

I nodded with a sigh. "Thankfully, she knows her stuff and so do these doctors. She's actually at full term in a few days so it's totally safe to deliver now. If this had happened a few weeks ago, it would have been way worse because Emma would have been premature. She should do well now, though."

Edward sighed, reaching over to take my hand. He pulled it to his mouth, kissing the back gently.

It seemed to take forever to get to the hospital. We parked quickly and rushed to the labor and delivery floor just in time to see them wheeling her gurney out of her room toward the OR. Edward and I ran up to them as the cart cleared the room, hugged them both, and wished them luck before nervously sauntering to the waiting room to hear more.

I fidgeted and paced while Edward did his best to keep me calm. This was a routine operation, and it should solve Rosalie's problems, although there were some cases where the issues of this disorder still haunted women up to six weeks postpartum. I really hoped this wouldn't be the case for Rose.

Edward was the consummate perfect fiancé, constantly comforting me and assuring me that all would be fine.

About twenty minutes after they walked through the doors, Emmett walked back through following a nurse pushing a plastic isolette with a beautiful bundle of pink tucked warmly inside. Emmett yanked his mask down and beamed at the bundle before looking up at us in joy.

I ran down the hall to his side, hugging him closely. I looked down at my angelic little niece wrapped in a soft looking pink blanket with a little pink cap on her head, her tiny fists curled under her chin as she sucked on one contentedly.

"Oh, Emmett! She's so beautiful! Congratulations, Daddy!" I hugged his neck tightly as he buried his face in my neck, squeezing back.

I pulled back gently. "How's Rose?"

He chuckled darkly. "Demanding, nauseas, and relieved. The anesthesia made her gag for the first five minutes because, ironically enough, her blood pressure dropped really bad, making her sick. She cried when Emma made her first sounds and watched intently as they worked to clean her up and I held her close for her to see. Then when they announced they had to go check her out in the nursery, she demanded I go with Emma and not leave her side. The doctor said that she should be okay now, so I did what she said, but I'm slipping into recovery to see her. I'm assuming you'd be willing to stay with her while I go, right sis?"

I beamed up at him. "I'd be honored. Usually only parents are allowed, but I'm hoping our connections will allow me to go in there."

Edward chuckled behind me as he stepped around to hug and congratulate Emmett. "I'll buzz Dad and ask him to call down. He's on lunch for the trial right now, so it should be fine."

Emmett frowned down at me as we began to follow the baby and the nurse toward the nursery. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, squirt. Did it go okay?"

I shrugged with a frown. "It wasn't great, but I think Dimitri pulled through for me in the end." I glanced back at Edward who smiled at me with a small nod.

"I don't want to talk about it now, though," I sighed, shifting my focus back on my perfect little niece. "We can talk about it later."

Emmett nodded and hugged me once more, following the nurse and Emma into the glassed in room.

I stood at the window and watched in awe while the nurses examined and cleaned up my beautiful little niece; Edward stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder. An occasional sigh would escape his mouth and his arms would tighten on my waist.

We weren't there long when Alice and Jasper slid in beside us, along with Andy, Carlisle, and Esme.

Emmett caught sight of them and smiled, lifting Emma out of the bassinet now that she was all clean and fresh, holding her up for them to see her better. He was already so comfortable with her. It brought tears to my eyes to see the love and devotion in his eyes. He skillfully tucked her in the crook of his arm, reaching his hand up to pluck the little cap off her head to reveal a mop of blonde wispy tufts.

Emma apparently didn't care for the cool air on her head and began to fuss nearly immediately. Emmett looked terrified for a second as he tried unsuccessfully to put the tight fitting knit cap back on her head. Finally, he laid her back down, using two hands to slide the cap back on before picking her back up and cuddling her close to him, cooing sweetly down at her face.

We all sighed and made over the beautiful bundle of joy in his arms before the rest of the crew dismissed themselves to return to the trial. Dimitri was frustrated at how the turn of events was going to mess with his witness list, but managed to work things out. Andy and Jasper would be there that afternoon to testify and then Emmett and Edward would be expected to take the stand early the next day. The judge was very understanding and allowed the adjustments.

Right after everyone left, Emmett looked up and nodded for me to come in. I went to the nurses' station, where they allowed me to pass through. Emmett gestured toward me with Emma and I froze for a moment.

"Wait, won't Rose be upset that I got to hold her before she did? I don't want to take that from her."

He chuckled. "I think she'd be more likely to kick your a...," his eyes widened as he looked down at Emma and glanced around at the tiny bundles all around us, "I mean butt, if you didn't. She wants one of us with Emma at all times. Now come take your niece so I can go check on this angel's beautiful mother."

I smiled and carefully took the light baby girl from her burly father's arms, tucking her into the crook of mine. I reached up and brushed a finger along her soft pink cheek as her tiny mouth opened into a perfect little 'o' and her tiny eyes fluttered open. I gasped at the emotions that flowed through me, tears pooling in my eyes, blurring her tiny face in my vision.

"Hi there, Emmalie, I'm your aunt Bella. You're so beautiful. Do you know that? Just like your Mommy. Mommy is going to be so excited to see you. You are what she always wished for and never thought she would get to have. You are going to be the luckiest baby alive, little girl."

My chest felt like it could burst from the love I felt for this tiny little being that belonged to my big brother. My imagination couldn't even begin to grasp how much more that feeling would have to be if it were my own child in my arms.

I looked up toward the window to see Edward standing there, staring in at us. His hand rested against the window and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. His thoughts were right in line with my own.

The nurse came up to me, asking me to put Emma down while she did another checkup. I stood nearby, watching closely as the nurse unwrapped Emma's tiny body and inspected her perfect little limbs. I chuckled when I looked at her feet, realizing she had gotten the Swan big toe just like Emmett and me. My eyes roamed her body finding little attributes that correlated to both her mother and her father. She had Rose's long slender fingers and Emmett's nose and an adorable little birth mark on her hip that kind of looked like two tiny hearts connected at the bottoms.

When the nurse finished up, I picked my niece back up in my arms and settled in a rocking chair near a window so Edward could see her as I tucked her in my arm and caressed her little body parts carefully.

Soon my brother returned, announcing that Rose's pressures seemed to be stabilizing and she was exhausted, sleeping in recovery. As soon as she heard his voice, Emma's eyes opened again and her head turned his direction. I sighed happily. She knew and loved her Daddy already. I passed Emma to him and watched as he settled in the rocking chair with her, happily cooing down to her pretty face.

I walked back out into the hallway, immediately melting into Edward's warm embrace. We watched Emmett glow toward his daughter in silence for a long while before Edward's voice hummed huskily in my ear.

"Watching you hold that little girl was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. I couldn't help but imagine seeing you hold our baby like that someday."

I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest. "I know; I was too. The overwhelming emotions I felt holding her, I couldn't even begin to fathom how much more amazing it will be when it's my own, someday."

I felt him sigh happily, kissing my temple. We tapped on the glass, motioning to Emmett that we would be back in the waiting room.

Between the stress of the day in court and the events of Emma's birth, Edward and I were both exhausted enough to somehow fall asleep leaning against each other in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs. I'm not sure how long we had been there when Emmett shook my shoulder gently to wake me.

We followed him down a hallway to Rose's room, where she looked pale and exhausted. She laid in the hospital bed with the back at a slightly elevated angle, baby Emma tucked happily on her chest. She smiled at us when we walked in, gingerly hugging and congratulating her.

After a few minutes, baby Emma was passed around, quickly being given to Edward who took her nervously, sitting down immediately with a tense posture. I chuckled at him; slipping in next to him and helping him relax a little.

I whispered in his ear. "Now, if you're serious about wanting one of these, I need proof that you're going to be able to handle it. You're not going to break her, baby. Just relax and let instinct take over."

He smiled over at me, settling back in his seat. Emma let out a tiny sigh, shifting into his arms a little more and lifting her tiny fist to her mouth to suckle again. Edward beamed down at her, his eyes twinkling with daydreams of our future.

We only stayed another hour or so before leaving so Rose could get some rest. Emmett was unhappy that he was going to have to leave them the next morning, but understood that he had to go to court. Rose assured him that they would be fine and some of her work friends had promised to visit the next morning anyway, so she wouldn't be alone.

We went home, calling around to see how the rest of the day in court had been. Varner apparently was nearing the end of his rope and pulling out all the dirty stops. Dimitri shot him down left and right though.

I was nervous for Edward and Emmett's time on the stand. I knew as sure as I knew my own first name that Varner was going to skin them alive on the stand for going into a situation where they knew a loved one was involved. He was going to really put them under the magnifying glass and turn up the sun's rays, but I had every faith that Dimitri would pull them through.

After we were both cleaned up and made it into bed, I rolled to my side, caressing Edward's face tenderly. "So….you helped me relieve some stress last night for my turn on the stand this morning. How about you? Can I…um…do something to help you?"

Edward grinned up at me deviously. "Last night was just as much for me as it was for you, baby. You've got to know that!"

I chuckled and nodded minutely.

He took a deep breath, releasing it in a long sigh as he tightened his arms around my shoulders, pulling me down to rest my head on his chest. I listened to his heart beat regularly in his chest as his fingers pulled lightly through my hair.

"Actually, I would be perfectly happy if you just let me hold you just like this. I love having you here with me. We're usually so busy that when we are both awake and in bed we go at it like rabbits because it's our only chance. I think tonight I just want to be close to you."

I chuckled.

He stilled his hand in my hair as I felt him lift his head to look down at me.

I tipped my chin up with a crooked smile. "When exactly did you become the girl in this relationship?"

He rolled his eyes with a growl, resuming dragging his fingers through my hair with one hand while the other trailed lightly up and down my spine.

"One of us has to; you seem to have the libido of a teenage boy lately. What's up with that?"

I knew he was teasing, but I still acted annoyed. "Hey, women hit their sexual peak later in life than men. Typically not until their thirties, but who knows…I'm weird when it comes to everything else, maybe this is an exception."

Edward chuckled, shaking his head, his eyes crinkled teasingly. "Well, Lord help me if it isn't. You are already just about all I can handle. You hit your sexual peak a decade from now and I might just die trying to keep up."

I growled at him, smacking his arm playfully. "Oh you'll keep up alright; I'll make sure of it."

He hugged me closer kissing my temple gently. "I'm sure you will and I look forward to every second."

We fell asleep shortly after, still wrapped up together, enjoying the calm in the eye of the storm.

o~O~o

We woke up early the next morning. Edward took a bit more time than usual to do his best to tame his hair and shave before sliding into a very nice, and I was sure, a very expensive suit. I didn't know designers, but from how nice he looked in it, I knew it was probably something famous like Armani.

I wore another one of those annoying women's suits with the skirts and the jackets. I hated dressing up, but I preferred wearing the light airy dresses and tops Alice always tried to squeeze me into over these uncomfortable, hot things. Edward kept saying I looked hot in them, and boy was he not wrong. It was June and I was stuck wearing these long sleeve jackets, which I did my best to remove every chance I got, but felt it was inappropriate in court.

Besides, I had a sneaking suspicion that his appreciation for them was probably linked to some kind of librarian fantasy or something…in which case we might have to revisit the topic once the trial was over and done with. For now though, I'd just rather not know.

We arrived at the courthouse and this time it was my turn to stew in my seat while Edward and an exhausted looking Emmett met with Dimitri for last minute strategizing before they hit the stand. Emmett would go first, followed closely by Edward.

Emmett's turn wasn't too terribly painful. Dimtiri started by mentioning Emmett's baby daughter who was born yesterday, which delayed his testimony to the jury, who were all smiles for him.

Varner knew better than to attack someone who already had their sympathy. He did make Emmett sweat a bit over knowingly going in after me, and breaking a whole plethora of rules. Emmett explained as coherently as he could, but when a few tears slipped from the corner of his eye when he looked at me, little sighs escaped several ladies of the jury. Varner cast his eyes at them before ending his line of questioning, knowing that if he did to Emmett what he had done to me, he would only be villainizing himself.

Emmett stepped down and came back to sit beside me again, encasing my hand in his, making it completely disappear.

I rested my head against his shoulder briefly, squeezing his arm tightly a second before reaching back to grasp Edward's hand again. I wanted to give him all the comfort I could before he had to leave me.

Dimitri called him to the stand. He leaned down to kiss my temple before stepping up and swearing his oath before taking his seat behind the honey colored banister.

Dimitri began with the basics, covering all the crucial details and bringing the depth of his relationship with me to light up front. He even asked why Edward would make such a risky move as to come in after me. Edward's only reply was, "I couldn't just do nothing. I had to take care of her. I had to help save her."

Dimitri smiled at him with a nod, stepped back to his seat and the judge passed the floor to Varner.

Varner started out easily enough, but he pushed harder and harder the deeper they got into the story and Edward's temper was on the verge of blowing.

"Excuse me, but what does this have to do with the liability of the hospital in this case? My team and I were not tied to the hospital."

"Oh, but Mr. Masen, or should I say Cullen since you are legally planning to change your name to such in just two months from now when you marry Dr. Swan, are you not Dr. Cullen, the chief Attending's nephew whom he raised from the tender age of ten?"

Edward sat back wide eyed as Varner smirked at him.

Varner continued. "Thus, you are deeply connected to both the doctor involved in the hostage situation and the man in charge of operations of the facility, correct?"

Edward whispered a painful 'yes.'

"So then, sir, your actions on that day are connected to the liability of the hospital because you took a personal interest in the situation and put not only yourself, but every person in that room in danger by rushing in when you should have allowed others who were not so personally connected to the case to go in. You got yourself shot in the chest and had to undergo major surgery and a lot of therapy to get back to where you had been before the incident, correct?"

Edward nodded, his adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

I gripped Emmett's hand tighter. Tears were threatening to spill over my cheeks, while I watched Edward practically deflate on stage.

"Was it worth it, Mr. Masen? Was it worth the risk to go in that room that day?"

Suddenly the pain in Edward's eyes faded, he sat up tall in his seat. "ABSOLUTELY!"

My heart swelled at how determined and strong his answer rang out in the room.

Varner flashed a look of surprise at him before it turned into a smirk. He turned theatrically to the jury.

"So you have no regrets for going into that room that day, putting so many innocent lives at risk?"

"No, I do not."

Varner looked pleased when he ended his line of questioning and returned to his seat. Dimitri looked stunned as he stood to redirect, fumbling slightly with his papers.

"Mr. Masen," he addressed Edward, looking as confused as many others in the room were. He had a slight edge of annoyance to his voice. Obviously, Edward had gone off plan. "Would you please explain your last answer to the jury?"

"I'd love to. I would go in there again because nobody there besides the guys and I knew Bella well enough to react appropriately as the events played out. We have spent the last seven years teaching her self-defense in case she was ever in a situation where she was in danger and we weren't there to help. We do live in Chicago after all. I think I probably knew what she was going to do before she did it. Another group of officers might have reacted differently as the events unfolded and ended up getting more people killed. There is no way I would have ever not gone into that room, one way or another, because I love that woman and I would not have been capable of not being there."

Dimitri sighed, feeling a few of the supports of our case crumble under him, as he looked at Edward in saddened shock.

"Mr. Masen, how do your actions that day reflect responsibility on any of the hospital staff that day?"

Edward grunted with a shrug of his shoulders. "It doesn't, at all. If my fiancé had just been someone in the room instead of a doctor there, I still would have gone in. If my dad wasn't on staff there or even a doctor at all, I still would have gone in there. It wouldn't have mattered when it happened or where, nothing would have stopped me from going in with my crew to save her. I would do it a million times, get shot over and over, just to know that she was safe. My actions in no way can be tied to the hospital. My decisions are my own, as is the responsibility for their aftermath. This entire trial has been a ridiculous waste of time and resources."

Dimitri smiled at Edward, thanking him for his time as he settled back in his seat. Edward was dismissed from the stand and came back to sit next to me, immediately taking my hand and kissing the back before squeezing it tightly in his own. A few more witnesses took the stand, but none were grilled like Edward and I had been. Even Carlisle, who had testified the afternoon before had received lenient treatment from Varner.

Once the witnesses were finished, the judge opened the floor for closing remarks. Varner's seemed weak, like a little kid pointing fingers and throwing blame wherever he could to get sympathy. Dimitri, on the other hand, rocked it, stating unequivocally that the hospital was not responsible for the events of the day. The responsibility rather rested on the dead man who chose to walk in and terrorize us that day. He also went on to bring up the fact that most of the plaintiffs were not even in the room during the worst of the events quoting a few of my words from my testimony to cement his reasoning.

Once both lawyers were finished, the judge dismissed the jury for deliberation and we were all set up for a long, simple game of waiting. Lunch was delivered to the jury as they talked and discussed while the rest of us took an hour to eat together since we knew for sure we had at least that much time before a ruling could possibly come in.

While we were all anxious for the verdict, we were also all greatly relieved that the testimony portion of the trial was over. Now all we could do was hope for the best. We sat and joked over our meals at a nearby Italian bistro, oohing and aahing over the pictures of Emma that Emmett proudly passed around the table. He had already hit up a one hour photo place last night and again this morning before the trial so he had lots of pictures to brag over.

Emmett left us once the meal was done to return to his girls. He missed them too much to stay away any longer. He pulled me in to a tight hug before he left.

"I love you, Bella. You've done a great job. Come by and see us after the verdict, and let us know what ended up happening. Your niece misses you, anyway."

I smiled and nodded, patting him on the shoulder as he left.

We returned to the courthouse to await the announcement that the jury had come back with their verdict. It didn't take nearly as long as we all feared, although we weren't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that they only deliberated for just under three hours.

We all entered the courtroom, taking our seats. I sat between Edward and Esme, holding their hands on either side of me as the jury filtered in.

The judge asked the jury if they reached their verdict and the jury foreman stood to announce that they had. He handed a piece of paper to the bailiff who carried it to the judge who opened it, nodded, and then returned to the bailiff to take back to the foreman.

"Foreman of the jury, please rise and state the verdict of the jury to the court."

The foreman, a tall heavyset man with glasses stood, clearing his throat and opening the paper.

"In the case of the people versus Northwestern Community Hospital, we the jury find the hospital not liable for financial restitution for the plaintiffs in this case."

There was a collective sigh of relief from our side of the room. We all smiled at one another, gently squeezing one another's hands in joy.

The judge made a few more remarks before banging his gavel and declaring the case closed. Dimitri turned around to shake hands with all of us standing in the front row, a big smile across his face. As he took Edward's hand, he held it between both of his.

"When you were up there, I was worried about how the jury would react, but you did great. I have to say, if I had been in your shoes, I would have been the same way."

He smiled over at me and I blushed a little, looking up at Edward with a smile and curling back into his side, gripping his waist tightly.

He chuckled, bending down to kiss my forehead. We walked as a group out of the courtroom and through the collection of local reporters. Carlisle and Dimitri stopped to make official comments as the rest of us walked on.

An hour later, we were all gathered in Rosalie's room, talking happily and passing around Emma. For the first time in months, we were finally free from all of the tension of that day. Everyone was healthy, the trial was behind us, and we were all blissfully happy. Only good thing were ahead of us for the foreseeable future and I couldn't wait.

_**What did you guys think? Hopefully it all came off okay. **_


	58. Connecting the 'Future' Dots

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original Twilight Characters. I am, however, responsible for changing their professions and messing with their personalities slightly.**

_**Warning: Massive author notes this chapter, beginning and end. But first off, A bittersweet announcement. You have two more regular chapters after this one and then the epilogue. I have also started a series of oneshots detailing their summer trips to the beach throughout the years that Bella became a part of the crew. **_

_**Thanks as always to my beta Sihaya9! She's the best! Also thanks to our Twilighted Beta Sassenach Wench for validating for us. She just completed her story Geek Love. Go check it out. **_

_**I hope you enjoy it and please take time to review! **_

**Connecting the 'Future' Dots**

**BPOV**

The month following the trial seemed to buzz by in a flurry of work, home, Edward, wedding plans, and Emma bonding. Before I knew it, July was ending along with my internship year. I had the entire month of August in which to get married, have a honeymoon, and return by the first of September to begin my Peds Residency.

The strange tangle of emotions ranging from excitement to anxiety was almost overwhelming. My only solace was Edward and my adorable little niece Emma, who had the most precious smile I had ever seen. A smile from either one of the two of them would melt away every ounce of tension in my body. They were my saving grace during the insanity that had been the last month.

I pretty much cleaned out my locker on the last day of my internship, bringing home everything except one set of scrubs and my spare lab coat. It was sort of symbolic in my mind, I was moving on and up, and I felt a sincere need to show that in a physical sense.

I carried my extremely heavy duffel bag to our apartment building, lugging it through the lobby toward the elevator. George tried to help me when he saw me struggling, but I told him it wasn't necessary. He smiled at me with a wink before the lobby disappeared behind the closing elevator doors.

Once the car reached our floor, I slid the bag behind me, tired of it hanging off my shoulder. I heard the sounds coming from our apartment before I reached the door. When I opened it, I found myself face to face with a distressed looking Edward pacing the floor with Emma, bouncing her manically in an attempt to calm the screaming infant. If it weren't for the fact that he looked so completely freaked out, I probably would have laughed.

He looked at me with desperate eyes as I stepped further into the apartment, closing the door behind me.

"Oh, thank God! Emmett and Rose stopped by two hours ago asking if I could babysit while they ran some errands. She's been crying pretty much ever since they left! I've tried everything, Bella, and nothing is working. I think I broke her!"

I chuckled, running a comforting hand over his hair before taking my screaming niece from his hands. I did a quick diaper check, asking Edward if he had fed her recently. He said he had just fed her half an hour ago and she had only stopped crying long enough to suck down the bottle before she started screaming again immediately.

"Were you able to burp her after she ate?"

Edward shook his head, "I patted her back ever since she finished the bottle and she never did burp. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

I nodded, shifting her over in my arm so that she was face down with her head rested in the crook of my elbow, her face pointing out toward the room. I cradled her next to me, grasping her thigh with my hand that rested underneath her as I gently massaged her back in tiny circles with the other. A few seconds later, her cries quieted. She looked around the room while I paced slowly back and forth in front of the window. Within a minute, she let out a loud burp, her taught tummy relaxing noticeably from the release of pressure.

"Wow, where did you learn that?" Edward asked watching on in amazement.

I shrugged, whispering back to him over my shoulder, "Babysitting. I did a ton of babysitting in Lincoln for my mom's friends from church and I worked in the church nursery from the time I was about eleven or so. I always loved babies."

"I can tell," he sighed as he collapsed on the couch rubbing his temples. "God, that was so horrible. No matter what I did, it wasn't enough. I felt dreadful that I couldn't help her...then you walk in and do your baby voodoo and she's right as rain. Man, I'm going to be a sucky dad!"

I shifted a now unconscious Emma to my shoulder, melted onto the couch next to him, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"No you won't. Nobody's born knowing what to do. You learn as you go. The fact that you felt bad about not being able to help her means you're going to be a great dad. I know you will. The biggest trick is to try not to get all tense. Babies can sense it and it makes them even tenser, so they cry harder, making you more tense...it's a vicious cycle. If you can relax, it usually helps a lot."

He wrapped me in his arm, kissing my temple gently before kissing the soft blonde locks of my exhausted niece. Watching him interact with Emma over the past month made my heart absolutely melt. Every time he caressed her rosy cheeks or snuck tiny kisses on the top of her head made me fall in love with him just a little more, which I had convinced myself was damn near impossible, until it actually happened. Every time we would go somewhere that sold any baby items whatsoever, Uncle Edward just had to go find a toy or something for his extremely spoiled little niece who was too young to even begin to know how lucky she was.

The three of us relaxed on the couch as Edward ran his fingers gently through my hair while running his other hand softly down Emma's back. All the while, I daydreamed of the day when the two of us would share moments like that with our own little baby. My heart ached longingly in my chest for that day. Common sense dictated that I had to wait until after my Residency to start down that path with Edward, but my ovaries, were screaming a different story.

After about an hour and a half of the three of us lazing on the couch, soaking up our precious Emma time, Emmett and Rose returned to claim their little girl. They both beamed down at us after they let themselves in only to find the three of us napping together on the couch. I was sad to see Emma go, but I knew I had to enjoy the times when I could steal them before having to return her to her parents.

Once they were gone, Edward padded back into the living room to find me with a big smile on his face.

"Hey, Bella, guess what? I just got an email from the realtor and she thinks she's found the spot we've been looking for. She was asking if we could meet her in Joliet in an hour. You up for it?"

I smiled with an enthusiastic nod. Edward and I had sat for long stretches of time discussing what we thought we should do about our living arrangements once the training facility was up and running. A big part of him wanted us to keep living in the city and for him to commute to the facility, but the crazy hours he would need to keep there for the training schedule made that difficult. Not that my hours were any better, but it was more or less temporary until I finished my Residency.

In the end, we decided that for the time being we would stay in the city, but we would keep looking for land near the training center just outside of the city where we could build a house to suit our own personal tastes. In the meantime, we would stay in our apartment until the house was complete, and then, once it was, we would keep the apartment in case Alice or I needed it after a particularly grueling shift at the hospital.

Everyone else had already made similar decisions about their living arrangements. Rose and Emmett had already found a house in Joliet near a really great school that they absolutely fell in love with. They would be closing while we were gone on our honeymoon. Rose had also been hired to work at a local hospital and was set to begin in early September.

Alice and Jasper were still looking, having a difficult time finding anything to suit Alice's finicky tastes. We were pretty sure they would end up going the same route as Edward and I in the end and building to suit her particular requirements. I'm sure Alice suspected, but Jasper had already bought an engagement ring for Alice and planned on asking her to marry him once our wedding excitement had passed. We had a sneaking suspicion it would probably happen Labor Day weekend.

Andy and Andrea got engaged the weekend after the trial and ran off to Vegas that same day. They found a house in Joliet right away and were in the process of moving their belongings and subletting their apartments for the remainder of their respective leases.

All that was left now was for Edward and me to find a plot to build our dream house on. Once we knew the layout of the land, we arranged for an architect to work with us on plans for our house and figuring out all of the logistics for plumbing, electrical, and so forth for the property. In the meantime, we had met with him several times to brainstorm, getting the major expectations of the both of us out on the table in some form of intelligible cohesion.

My demands had been pretty simple for the most part. I wanted the laundry room to be on the same floor as the bedrooms, the kitchen to be large enough to cook a big holiday meal for all of our friends and family, and a dining room table big enough to seat them all. I also asked for there to be a lot of natural light and large windows with the ability to be concealed easily by blinds of some sort. I loved the idea of a lot of light, but didn't like the idea of people being able to see in at night as easily as we could see out during the day, even if we were lucky enough to be in a secluded location.

Edward's demands were far more detailed. He had set ideas for a living room, theater room, game room, den, office, and bedrooms situated strategically to give us the most privacy and yet allow us quick and easy access someday when our children inhabited some of the other bedrooms. He had elaborate plans for our bathroom, paying particular attention to us having a shower like the one in our current apartment and a Jacuzzi tub big enough for the both of us. He was determined to spare no expense, demanding the highest quality materials be used in all areas of construction.

When we left, the architect was beaming at all he had to work with. I had a feeling massive dollar signs were floating behind his eyelids as he looked at what we wanted and what his commission off the build would be.

It was a beautiful sunny day, so we chose to take my Viper. I loved riding in that car, especially with the top down. Edward knew where we were headed, so I let him drive out on the condition that I would be the one driving back home again. We smiled at each other occasionally on the drive through the city, the wind blowing our hair in all directions. As usual, Edward drove like a bat out of hell, not that I could blame him when behind the wheel of my bad ass baby, getting us there in just about forty five minutes. It would have probably been less time, but we got caught in a traffic jam at I55 and I80. Thankfully, it only took about fifteen minutes to clear the congestion and get moving again.

Edward pulled smoothly through the turns, finally pulling into a gravel drive that snaked through a thin grove of trees and opened into a large open field. The property was lined on two sides by trees. At the back of the property was a small pond with a narrow dock jutting out toward the middle, a family of ducks swam happily in the smooth water. Beyond the pond lay tall fields of green corn for as far as the eye could see.

My eyes filled with tears when I looked around at the overgrown property around us. With a little work and TLC it could most definitely be classified as my dreamland, the perfect spot to build our dream home.

Edward crossed to my side of the car, opening the door for me and offering me his hand.

I was still in an awed daze taking it all in. I gaped at the space in front of me in reverential awe and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, curling himself into my back to softly kiss my neck.

"So what do you think, love?"

I finally broke my gaze from the scene in front of me to turn my glassy gaze to my soon to be husband's face.

"Oh, Edward! It's perfect! I hope to god it isn't a logistical nightmare when it comes to the utilities and stuff, because I seriously think this came straight out of my childhood fantasies!"

He chuckled, pulled me closer and buried his nose in the crook of my neck. "It's actually mostly set up. The previous owner had already drilled for a well and arranged for electrical to be run when his job got transferred to the West Coast and he was forced to sell. It's just a matter of making a few calls and we'll be well on our way to having this place just for us if you think you want it."

I gazed up at him with a smile. "I only want it if you want it. Are you sure you'd be happy living out here city boy? I have a bit of a hard time imagining you in this place."

He reached his hands up, cupping my cheeks in his slightly rough and sexy grasp. "I will be happy wherever you are. I know you miss living down state, so I was hoping that I could give you a touch of downstate right here."

The tears brimming in my eyes cut loose, trickling over my cheeks as his thumbs brushed them away gently. "Thank you, Edward. I love you so much. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Me?" He raised his eyebrows so high they nearly disappeared into his hairline. "I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. I thank God every day that you love me even a fraction of how much I love you."

We fell into a loving kiss, only breaking apart when the sound of the realtor's tires on the gravel alerted us to her presence. She stumbled through the weeds in her heels, trying to tell us more about the property and show us the highlights. When she was done with her little tour, we told her that we wanted to make an offer. We followed her to her office and filled out the paperwork, signing the offer that very night.

We were both giddy on our drive home, falling into bed the second we hit the apartment door. We made soft, happy love that night, cherishing one another and the life that was waiting for us in just a few short weeks.

o~O~o

The owner responded to our offer less than twenty four hours later with a counter offer. Edward and I sat down and looked it over carefully. He was pressing us pretty hard for more money than the property was really worth. Our guess was between the media coverage of the whole hostage event and then the trial, he had recognized our names and discovered that Edward was more than a little well off.

Part of me wanted to tell Edward to tell the guy to shove off, but a bigger part of me really wanted that land. In the end though, I wasn't willing to have this guy bully us out of a fair deal. We were already offering slightly over full market value to make up the depreciation that had happened to all the area properties after the economy took its nosedive. We were being far more than generous and he was trying to be a greedy prick. With a sad sigh, I told Edward to reject the offer. We would find somewhere else eventually, maybe even somewhere better.

Edward was disappointed too as he called the realtor to let her know our decision. With slightly saddened hearts, we made our way over to Carlisle and Esme's for the big count down to the wedding kick off barbecue. All of our friends were going to be there to kick back and enjoyed a night of relaxation and freedom before the final crazy stretch before our wedding.

I still couldn't believe that we were getting married in just two weeks. It was like a dream come true. Most of the time, I still wasn't completely convinced that I wasn't dreaming in that very moment, that all of the joy and love Edward and I shared wasn't just some massive hallucination of my desperate mind. But, thank heaven, it was all real. I really was about to marry Edward and become Mrs. Edward Cullen.

We parked on the street and walked up to the front door, not even able to ring the doorbell before the door slammed open and Emmett stepped on the front porch, pulling both of us in for a massive hug. He tugged us inside, pushing us toward the den where everyone was gathered. The French doors that connected the den to the small patio out back were wide open, people mingled in and out past the grill emitting mouthwatering aromas.

Esme quickly crossed the room to hug us, already beginning to shower us with last minute details she needed our decisions on. I knew that I had gotten a reprieve while I was in my internship, but now that I had all of this free time, I was about to be inundated with a mountainous heap of wedding details.

I smiled politely at Esme while she talked about seating charts and caterers. I still couldn't believe the effort she was putting in for the relatively small amount of guests who would be attending. It's not as if forty people couldn't amicably find places to sit while nibbling on what was now going to be gourmet barbecue made by Chicago's premier catering firm, along with fancy versions of your typical barbecue sides.

Our small intimate ceremony had somehow morphed into a mini societal event, but I wasn't going to complain. Esme, along with Edward's help, had done nearly all of the work. Besides that, Esme was only going to get one shot at being the mother of the groom, and for all intents and purposes mother of the bride as well; I couldn't stop her from doing it up one hundred percent Esme style.

The night went quickly as we were passed from friend to friend all night long. Tanya was there along with Benjamin and little Kellan, who had been born just a few days after Emma. Even though Tanya had an earlier due date, the poor dear went nearly two weeks beyond it before the doctors decided to induce. Eighteen grueling hours later, an exhausted Tanya gave birth to her little miracle with Benjamin remaining supportively by her side. The first time I met him, I thought he was a decent guy, but the past couple of months showed us all that he was damn near an angel. He fell head over heels for both Tanya and Kellan before he was ever even born. They were still taking things slowly, but there was no doubt in my mind that someday in the not so distant future, the two of them would be taking the plunge themselves.

The night was wonderful and when it eventually came to an end, we were sad to see it go. Once the house was cleared, we stuck around to help straighten up. Esme and Carlisle asked about the property hunting. They were both really sad to see us moving out of the city, but definitely understood. They had even begun looking for places themselves, making reference to the fact that both Carlisle and Esme were going to be retiring in the near future and they had hopes of being relatively close to their grandchildren.

They both commiserated with us about losing our dream property, but reminded us that sometimes things work out in ways we never suspect. We nodded and attempted to stay positive as we helped straighten the last of the mess before making our way back home.

Once inside, I disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed, the weight of evening making me even more exhausted than usual. I was halfway through washing my face when Edward came bursting into the bathroom with a bright smile and twinkling eyes.

"Bella! We got a message from the realtor. I guess the seller about shit a brick when we rejected the counter offer and told her to remove our offer from the table. He came back with another new offer that was slightly lower than our original offer to him. I guess he contacted our realtor personally and asked her to relay his apologies. His realtor had pressed for the higher counter offer in hopes of gaining a bigger commission. He agreed, never suspecting the reasons why. Once he found out, he fired the realtor, called his office, and contacted our lady personally. If we want it, baby, it's ours! We just have to sign the papers and set up for the closing!"

I squealed and ran across the small space separating us, jumping into his arms and wrapping mine around his neck.

"Oh my God, Edward! It's really ours?"

"If you want it, baby. I'll call her right now if you want to make the arrangements."

I frowned at my watch. "Edward, it's nearly midnight. She's probably asleep."

He scoffed, "For the commission she'll be getting off this sale, I bet she'd be willing to hear from us anytime day or night. I'll email her though if you think I shouldn't call."

I sighed, wanting him to call, but knowing it would be very impolite. "We should respect her home life, Edward. Email her and tell her to call us anytime day or night when she gets it."

He beamed at me before kissing my lips excitedly. He gently lowered me to my feet before disappearing through the doorway, the sounds of his bare feet smacking the hardwood floors echoing behind him.

o~O~o

Okay, so in retrospect, putting ourselves in escrow in the middle of the final count down for our wedding might not have been the most intelligent thing we've ever done. However busy we were supposed to be got ten times worse once we began the proceedings of purchasing the property.

We explained our situation and the fact that it either needed pushed through in a week and a half or would have to wait over a month before we could close on the land. The owner, highly motivated to get the property out from under him since he was living somewhere near Portland Oregon, pushed for sooner rather than later. This is how we ended up having to be in Joliet for the closing appointment the morning of our bachelor and bachelorette parties.

The last week and a half had been insane as Alice, Esme, Rose, and Edward tugged me through hours of work. We wrapped Jordan Almonds in little lavender mesh squares, tying them closed with shiny white ribbons and little tags that read our names and the date and put together freaking favor baskets for the guest.

The items included in the baskets were nearly worthy of what they give to Oscar Nominees at the Academy awards. Esme had gone way overboard this time, having special ordered shiny black iPod Nanos with our names and the date and time of our wedding inscribed. Each was loaded with songs we had selected for the ceremony and on the DJ's list for the reception. In addition to that, the baskets held small boxes of Godiva chocolates, wrapped in shiny gold foil, expensive looking scented candles with our engagement picture, names, and the wedding date etched into the frosted glass holders they were encased in, and digital picture frames loaded with photos of us throughout the years we had known one another detailing the progression of our relationship in color pixels.

I had final fittings with Toni, lingerie shopping with the girls, an all day spa excursion where I was buffed, waxed, lasered, and wrapped within an inch of my life. I did have to admit afterward though that my skin had never been so soft and hairfree before. Shaving was one thing, but the smoothness after a wax was phenomenal even if it hurt like a bitch during.

Edward had liked the results as well, showing his appreciation multiple times that night after the redness and stinging had subsided. He was stressed too, but no matter how bogged down he got, you could tell he believed it was all worth it, as did I.

The whirlwind came to a head the Wednesday before the wedding. We had to be in Joliet at 9am for the closing, after which we had to return home where I would be pulled away by the girls for the rest of the day and night and then escorted to the lake house the next morning, once we had all recovered from the events of the night before. Thursday through Saturday would then be completely devoted to setting everything up for the wedding that would commence Saturday evening, just before sunset.

Edward and I were running behind as we tried to find the building for the closing. We made it with three minutes to spare. The closing itself was far less painless than it could have been since we weren't getting a loan, but rather paying in cash directly from Edward's trust fund. Honestly, I hated dipping into his family's money, but he insisted that he had saved it his whole life, and there was nothing more important in his eyes to spend it on than our future.

We spent the next hour signing form after form in the massive stack in front of us. The amount of paperwork for something that seemed so simple as buying land was inconceivable. Thankfully, at five after ten that morning, we signed the last paper and were handed the deed to the land, we shook hands with the seller and the brokers in the room.

As we left, huge smiles were plastered on both of our faces. Deciding to make everyone else wait, we drove to our newly purchased land and walked down to the pond, settling together on the dock and staring out at what was now ours. I couldn't wait until it was all cleaned up and our home was built for us to begin our new lives in.

With a sigh, we finally pulled ourselves up after an hour of enjoying the solitude and headed back to the city. The second we entered the apartment, we were attacked by Alice. I managed to sneak one quick kiss in with Edward before I was pulled through the apartment door and back to the city streets.

Six hours later, I was sitting in a booth in the corner of a noisy club wearing a tiara and banner that stated loudly, in sparkling glitter, that I was the bride. After being tortured with beauty supplies for a couple of hours and nearly melted and poured into a pair of skinny jeans and a tight red halter top that hit a few inches above the waistband of the pants, I was adorned with the objects of humiliation and drug to the premier chickie bar in the city. Surrounded by hot guys in mesh tank tops with muscles that rivaled my boys serving our drinks with seductive smiles, we proceeded to get shit faced. We danced and screamed and generally cut completely loose, which I desperately needed after the week and a half I had just endured. To be honest, my internship was nothing compared to the bridal gauntlet I had just conquered.

Blinking penis necklaces hung from our necks; while Alice forced me to drink White Russians from a huge penis shaped mug with a white straw sticking suggestively out of the hole in the top. Humiliation didn't even begin to express how I was feeling at the beginning of the night, but by this point in the evening, I had ingested enough alcohol, that I was no longer aware of how ridiculous I looked. I slurred at the waitress that I needed another before giggling at a joke Drunk Alice was telling the group. I had to admit that we had fun.

I was starting to get to the point now, though, that I was ready to crawl into bed again and just sleep it off. I had promised earlier in the night that I wouldn't contact Edward, but my resolve was waning quickly. The girls were deep into their story when I sneaked my cell out of my purse under the table and began subversively texting to Edward.

It was only when I got the muttled response of, 'What the fuck does Al is drumblasted penis cup of Russian cum mean?' that I realized that it was more difficult to sneaky text while drunk that I realized. I sent a sorry before excusing myself to the restroom, and hiding in a handcapped stall to call him.

The background noise was so loud I couldn't even hear him say hello when he first answered the ring. I waited until the music got quieter assuming he escaped to the restroom as well.

"Heeeeey, baybeeee, are you having fuuuun?" I slurred into the mouthpiece in a loud whisper as I cupped it with my hand.

He chuckled. "It'd beeee a lot more fucking funnnn if yoooou were here, Bellllll-lah."

Oh shit, he was just as wasted as I was.

"I miss yoooou, Eddiepoo. It was embassaring, and then it was fun, but now, I'm soooo fucking tired. I just wanna go home to our bed and cuddle next to yoou. Why do they make those steeewwwwpid rulesss about sssleping together before a wud, a wid, a wedding?"

"Awe fuck baby, I know. It fucking sucks assss. I'm soooooo damn horny for you right now. I jussst want to fuck yoooou allll night looong, but NOOOOOO, issss aginssst the fuuucking rulsssss."

I moaned before an evil thought came to my mind. "Pssttt...Eddie. Doooo you think you can sssslip out on them? Yooou do, then I willl. We can take cabsss back to the apam, apat, ah fuck, home. You can meet me at home. Wanna meet me at home, Eddie?"

"Hellll to the fuuucking yeah! I'll beee there in fifeen. Yoooou better be naked when I get there, Bellyboo, or I'mma gonna sssspank your pretty lil assss."

I giggled. "Fifeen minis then. See you there."

I hung up the phone and tripped my way out of the stall. I slid out the door and around the corner, staying close to the wall and humming the Mission Impossible theme song as I did what I thought was my best blend in job. Unfortunately I was very wrong. Alice popped up in front of me just before I got to the door, dragging me back by my forearm to the table as I pouted.

"Aaaallliiieee, Edwar was meetin me at our playssss." I giggled as I shifted in my seat. "He promisssed to ssspank me if I wasss'n waitin naked for him." I paused as I took a drink. "Acsually, this is fine."

The girls all stared at me with wide eyes and open mouths before they all broke into hysterical laughter while I pouted at my missed opportunity with Edward. I was about to try to sneak away again when Andrea slid in next to me, blocking my escape route.

"Nice try kid, but I'm the designated driver, so you don't stand a chance of getting past me. Besides, Jasper heard the whole thing in the bathroom. I swear you and Edward are like the stupidest drunks ever for being so smart the rest of the time. He never made it out of the bathroom. So if you go home now, you're just going to be waiting alone."

I sighed, grabbing my phone out. "Busted?"

A few seconds later a 'yep' came back. "Me 2, meaneis :( "

He replied back 'lol, don worry, ill mak up 2 u."

I smiled. "k, luv u, hav fun, but not 2 muhc"

The last thing I heard from him or remember from the night was my screen lighting up with the word 'dittdo'.

o~O~o

I awoke the next morning to bright light streaming through the window at me as timpani drums banged a steady rhythm in my skull. Even the motion of my breathing hurt. I covered my face with my pillow only to be assaulted by the disgusting smell of stale alcohol and old vomit.

I moaned, rolling over to find myself face to face with an equally hurting Alice. She squinted at me through sticky lashes before her eyes popped wide. She jumped up out of bed with her hand over her mouth, sprinting to the bathroom.

I winced at the sounds of her retching into the toilet because not only did it sound disgusting, but the sounds echoed painfully in my ears. I heard her groan and shuffle to the sink before water began to run. A few minutes later she hobbled slowly back through the doorway with her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the morning light streaming in through the window.

It was then that I looked around and realized we were at the apartment Edward and I shared, sleeping in our bed.

"What are we doing back here, Alice? I thought we were going to sleep at your and Jazz's place last night?" I rasped.

Alice scoffed before clenching her eyes closed, covering them with her hand. "That WAS the plan, but then you had your whole drunk dialing Edward escapade and insisted we come back here. You were so sure that Edward was going to be here even though we told you that the guys headed him off. When we got here you ran to the bedroom and started crying, then started puking, then curled up on your bed and passed out. I couldn't even change your clothes so I just gave up and slept here with you to make sure you were okay."

I frowned for a minute before thanking her for taking care of me. I rolled onto my back with a groan, pulling my stinky pillow over my eyes to block the bright rays.

Alice and I stayed in bed for another half an hour or so, moaning and groaning before we finally pulled ourselves out of bed. I took a shower first, while Alice grabbed us both bottles of water and began making calls.

By the time I got out, she had called around to discover that Edward had insisted coming home too, but passed out in the cab, so instead they just hijacked him to her and Jazz's apartment and carried him in. Now that he was awake, not only was he hung over, but he was pissed as hell.

Alice giggled as she sashayed into the bathroom to shower, apparently already past her hangover. Just before the door closed, she called out in a singsong voice.

"By the way, change of plans _Bellyboo_, it seems _Eddiepoo_ is insisting he get to ride up to the lake house in the same car as you since we put the kibosh on you two sneaking off together last night. They'll be here to pick us up in an hour or so."

I chuckled painfully, knowing we will be old and gray before we ever outlive that one. I had just taken 2 Tylenol and guzzled the other half a bottle to get it into my system that much faster before I turned toward the bed, ripping off the nasty linens and replacing them with fresh ones for when we returned from our honeymoon.

I looked around the room with a tiny squeal. The next time I slept in this bedroom, I would officially be Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!

Alice had just finished getting dressed when the door opened and a chorus of loud voices filled the apartment, all far too cheery for the morning after such heavy drinking. I walked into the foyer hissing with my finger to my mouth and my eyes narrowed dangerously at the noise producing brood.

They all froze but quickly broke into loud laughter, parting the crowd to show Edward standing there with his hands over his ears looking to be in equal agony. Rose brought up the rear holding a happy looking Emma.

I pushed past the crowd to hug myself around Edward's waist. He wrapped his arms around me and the rest of the group around us seemed to disappear AS W. I looked up at him with a small smile.

"I missed you last night…Eddiepoo."

He chuckled, shaking his head at me. "I missed you too…Bellyboo. What the hell did they pour into us, Absinthe? I would never normally call you that!"

I laughed, wincing painfully at the lightening strike in my skull it created. "I don't know, but I vote we never ever use it again, unless we're just really in the mood to tease the hell out of each other!"

He nodded slowly, "Agreed." He bent down to kiss my lips gently, sealing the pact.

It was then that we were broken out of our bubble by Emmett's roaring rumble which made us both grab our temples. "I don't know about Bella, but you did that yourself Edward. What did you think would happen when you started shooting 100 proof tequila?"

"Yeah, but I was only drinking White Russians. They aren't THAT strong!"

Emmett guffawed. "Yeah, but you're a lightweight and you probably didn't eat much first and drank too many, too fast."

Alice interrupted. "Plus you switched to Long Island Iced teas about an hour before Edward called."

I turned in surprise. "I did?"

She laughed and nodded emphatically. "Yeah, you said you were tired of drinking Russian cum from your penis cup and wanted something else."

"So there really was a penis cup?" Edward asked, eyeing me warily.

"Yes!" Alice cheered. "We have pictures…here look!" She said ripping her cell from her pocket and pressing the buttons before turning to show him a shot of me sipping eagerly from the white straw emerging from the tip of the cup.

Edward's head dropped as his shoulders vibrated hard with his laughter. I knew it was probably hurting his head, but it must have tickled him enough that he didn't notice so much. He was shaking his head when he looked back up at me.

"I don't know if I should be disgusted or turned on. I think I'm leaning more to the latter, but it's a mixed reaction."

I smiled seductively before tipping up to his ear. "Would it help if I thought about you the whole time I used that cup? Why do you think I drunk dialed you, begging for you to meet me at home?"

A rumble rose from his chest, his arms tightened on my waist but just then the tiny pixie arms pulled me away from him.

"No way you two, we really need to hit the road, and sooner rather than later!"

We both grumbled as everyone herded us through the doorway into the hall and down to the lobby. Once there, we piled into three cars, my Viper among them, although in the condition we were in, Edward and I chose not to drive it, tossing the keys to Emmett. Jasper hopped in with him while Rose took the wheel of the rented Minivan. Edward and I fell into the back seat of it together, and curled up into a ball, watching her strap Emma into her rear facing car seat. At least we would have something to keep us entertained on the drive up.

Once she was settled, Emma looked up at us and smiled brightly, flailing her arms and legs and gurgling loudly. I tucked my face in Edward's shoulder, playing peek-a-boo with her as we started our way north to the beach house. Before I knew it, we were pulling up the driveway.

Esme and Carlisle were already there, directing traffic as rental companies delivered supplies that were being stored in a tent in the back yard to protect it from the elements if the fickly Illinois skies decided to dump unexpected rain on us. The forecast for the whole weekend was day after day of sunshine, but with my luck, they would be wrong this time around.

Everyone shuffled around the house, carrying bags to and fro. I had my duffel bag on my shoulder, getting ready to head to the bedrooms downstairs when Esme stopped me with a wry smile.

"You really think we're sticking the bride to be in the basement this week? I don't think so. You, my dear, are getting the upstairs guest room where Edward is welcome to join you until Friday night, at which time we are insisting he sleep in the basement with the rest of the boys while we girls will get the loft bedrooms to ourselves."

I cocked a wary eyebrow. "So I'm getting a second bachelorette party of sorts the night before?"

She shrugged, "I'd say it's more of one last girl's night sleepover before you're relegated to spousehood. We're locking the alcohol up that night, so nobody is suffering from hangovers the next morning. It should be tame enough."

I laughed, shaking my head. She obviously didn't know my girls very well yet. This was most certainly not going to be tame.

Esme smiled, pulling me into a hug as Edward passed me, taking my duffel from my shoulder and hauling it up to our bedroom on the loft level.

"I'm so happy that you're going to be my new daughter in a few short days. I couldn't have chosen a better wife for my son if I tried."

I beamed at her, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from my eye. She smiled back before turning me toward the staircase and landing a light smack on my bottom. I jumped letting loose a surprised squeak.

"Now get upstairs and help my son unpack. We'll have lunch ready at 12:30."

I rushed up the stairs, throwing open our bedroom door and closing it behind me, securing the lock cautiously.

Edward turned to me with a smile, holding a pile of t-shirts in his hands, about to drop them into an open drawer.

I shook my head, crossing the room and grabbing the pile out of his hand, tossing them haphazardly into the drawer before drawing my arms around his shoulders and kissing his lips eagerly.

He moaned, wrapping me tightly in his arms and lifting me from the floor to carry me to our bed. When he reached it, he turned so his back was to the bed, falling down on it so that I would be on top of him.

We rubbed together, moaning in appreciation frequently while our hands began to acquaint themselves with each other's skin hidden by pesky clothing. Edward was just about to slip my shirt over my head when a loud bang on our door interrupted us.

We both whined plaintively as we rolled to lie side by side.

"Esme said to come let you know lunch is ready. We're all waiting and I'm starving so hurry up!" Emmett yelled through the door.

"Good God, how long were we at it? It was only noon when I came up here!"

Edward chuckled. "Well I guess when we're together we create a time warp or something. We better go though, or Emmett will break down the door and then mom will have all of our asses!"

I giggled, sliding my shirt back down into place and trying to smooth my hair. A few minutes later, we left our room for down to sit at the large table in the dining room, piled high with delicious looking foods. Carlisle said grace and we all dug in, heaping food on our plates and talking excitedly about the next few days.

I looked around the table with a smile. This was my family. Some were related by blood, some soon would be related by marriage, and some would never have an official tie to me, but never the less, they were all my family.

The whole table laughed as the more sober members of the parties from the night before began to regale my soon to be mother-in-law and father-in-law with stories of our drunken escapades and ill-fated plans to sneak out and meet up at home. Esme and Carlisle laughed until tears streamed down their cheeks as Alice and Jasper reenacted our phone conversation for them, squatting against the wall on opposite sides of the room as though they were sitting on toilets, which I had not done at least.

I reached over and grabbed Edward's hand under the table, squeezing gently. He looked over with a smile before placing a soft kiss on my forehead. I sighed happily, melting into his side. I felt nothing but contentment as the realization dawn on me, that soon, we would be bound to one another in every possible way.

_**Next stop…wedding day :)**_

_**I'd love it if you feed my ego with reviews and once again thank you all for your dedication to following this story. I've loved writing it, but your responses make it so much sweeter! You guys are the best!**_


	59. I'll Always Be Right There

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Characters, nor the rights to any songs used in this chapter.**

_**Yeah...it's their wedding day! I was so excited to write this, but I have to say, I think it might have been the hardest to write in the whole dang story!**_

_**I have also taken hours upon hours to construct the playlists for these next two chapters. Matter of fact, the songs were chosen first, and the chapter was written around them...so I really encourage you to check it out! There's a lot more country in this chapter, but I couldn't help it. Country music tends to be very romantic and sappy/sweet. I blamed them all on Jasper's influence…tee,hee. I added the link below.**_

_**http:/www**__** .youtube. com/view_play_list?p=F1CA86F6C9A92819**_

_**Also, please ignore the cheering at the beginning of the Processional Song when Bella walks down the aisle. I fell in love with it, but could only find a live performance, so screaming in a few places cannot be avoided, but the song is perfect! Anyway, hope you enjoy! I held the reception for the next chapter.**_

_**I have also created a new photobucket album just for the FDKK wedding, so go check out the pictures. I even included a picture of my daughter wearing Emmalie's dress when she was a twelve days old. Granted she looks nothing like Emma, but it's still the dress I had in mind.**_

_**http:/photobucket .com/FDKKwedding**_

_**Thanks to Sihaya9 for her beta work and Sassenach Wench for doing her Validation thang!**_

**I'll Always Be Right There**

**BPOV**

The time that followed our arrival at the beach house could be described as nothing short of chaotic. I started believing that Esme had truly lost her mind when landscapers arrived on Friday morning, scouring the beach, removing the tall patches of grass that had rooted in the sandy shore and turning the sand to reveal soft smoothness along the entire length of their private beach area. Then to top it off, she had them haul in fresh white sand, directing them as they smoothed it atop the freshly turned sand that was already there, creating a beautifully crafted circle with a raised heart around where our wedding would take place with a white fluffy aisle connecting the circle to the house.

I didn't even want to know how much Esme and Carlisle had invested in this ceremony. Even Edward was concerned, offering to pay the majority of the costs out of his trust, but they wouldn't hear of it. Both insisted that their only child only got married once and they wanted to do this for us.

Caravans of trucks came and went from the property as a huge gossamer tent was erected on a large section of the newly cleaned up shoreline to the left hand side of the area where the ceremony was going to take place. Once the tent was erected, workmen set about to string long strands of white lights back and forth across the top of the dome and down the sides, only leaving the doorway areas free from trailing strands of white light.

Next a rental company came, setting up tables and chairs, covering them with long white table cloths and white chair covers tied in place with pink bows that matched the sashes of the bridesmaid dresses that Alice and Rose would be wearing. In the center of everything, a large wooden dance floor was laid out, a long table set at one end with two larger ornate chairs placed in the middle, immediately labeling it as the place where Edward and I would sit for the dinner portion of the reception.

Another, different rental company arrived to set up the lattice work arch area under which Edward and I would be married, along with the many chairs that were set up in a semicircular pattern around the arch. I palmed my face nervously when I began to count the number of chairs, noticing that there were far more than was needed for the thirty guests originally on the list to receive invitations.

The scariest part of all though was the fact that I knew this was just the beginning. By the middle of the next afternoon, the tables would be covered in fine china and crystal glassware with beautiful centerpieces on the tables. The arch would be adorned with my requested lavender and purple wisteria, trailing down either side and out across the lattice half wall that stretched out a few feet on either side of the arch.

This was definitely a far cry from the casual reception and ceremony I had outlined for Esme, but at the same time, I understood her desire to make it perfect. It wasn't really my style, but Edward had a major hand in it. I knew that many of these touches were his. I smiled when I thought of him gauging each decision, trying to decide if I would give him too much grief over them. At least he agreed on my wardrobe selections and would be wearing the white linen pants and button down shirt I had suggested.

In all the time that stretched those few days, my favorite was the few hours of free time we managed to wrangle with our friends. Emmett begged Edward and I to keep an eye on Emma while he took Rose out in the water to swim together for a while...as though he really had to twist our arm.

Edward and I rested her on the towel between us, as we both lay on our sides, our heads propped up on our hands. We stared down at her, making silly faces and reaching forward to tickle her tiny belly. She had recently developed the most adorable giggle the week before. We both loved hearing her tinkling laugh.

Part of me wanted to freeze that moment in time and enjoy the freedom of just having fun together. After the stress of the past year, it was a much needed break from the insanity and a touch of the normality we all seemed to desperately miss. I made a vow right then that we would have to make it a tradition to come to the beach house once every summer as a group and not lose touch with those lighter times, even when life starts to get sticky down the road.

Friday evening, we finished up the last of what we could get ready for the wedding without the supplies scheduled to arrive the next day and settled in with delivered pizza and beer. I clung to Edward the entire time, knowing full well that the girls would be forcing me away from his side very soon.

Just as I feared, once the pizza and beer had disappeared, Alice and Rose each claimed a hand, tugging me toward the stairs to the loft. I pulled way to collapse on Edward's lap for one last kiss before I was manhandled into the guest bedroom on the loft level.

Once there, I was pleased to discover we had a single bottle of champagne to indulge in, more chocolate than we could ever begin to consume on our own, the TV turned on and set to the DVD player, and four pair of matching cotton pajamas all waiting for us to change into.

We had a ton of fun as we all gathered around the TV screen and settled back to watch Sixteen Candles, giggling at the eighties fashion and the hilarious antics of the crazy wedding of Molly Ringwald's sister, who was high on muscle relaxers that she had taken to relieve her unexpected menstrual cramps. I still got the biggest kick out of the exchange student, Dong.

Once the movie was over, we settled in for some old fashioned girl talk that lasted late into the night.

o~O~o

I was awoken Saturday morning by a hyper Alice.

"Wake up, Bella! It's your wedding day!" She crooned in my ear as she bounced on the bed next to me.

I looked over at the clock with a sigh seeing it was eleven in the morning. Even though it was a little late, we were having an evening wedding, so we could sleep a little later, which we definitely needed to be able to do after staying up till the wee hours of the morning giggling and sharing stories about our guys. I felt other bodies shift around me as Rose whimpered, covering her face with her pillow. Esme chuckled softly before gracefully rising from her pallet on the floor and disappearing through the door.

"I have something for you to listen to while you wake up," Alice cheered, as she vibrated a silver iPod Nano above my head that was very similar to the wedding favors we had for our guests.

I reached up and grabbed her hand to read the inscription on the silver plated back noting that there was far more text than the wedding favors had inscribed on them.

_To the love of my life on our wedding day,_

_This player contains a playlist of one song an hour as you prepare to be my wife. I love you with all of my heart and I can't wait to make you mine completely._

_Love Always,_

_Edward_

I sighed, the first of many tears of the day welling in my eyes.

Rose groaned before exiting the bed as well, grumbling about not getting many opportunities to sleep in and leaving me alone to enjoy the song on my own. I assumed she went to go claim Emma from the sitter Esme had hired for the night so Rose could fully enjoy the girls night in, and yet still go see her baby at any point she felt the need.

Alice giggled, shaking her head and telling me to get it out of my system now before the make-up artist arrived. Bouncing across the room jovially, she opened the cabinet concealing the stereo. She attached the device and punched a few buttons moments before a quiet bass line filled the room.

I lay back on my pillow, smiling at the light dancing on the ceiling as I listened to the first song Edward had chosen for me to listen to. I really liked Anberlin, and _Inevitable_was one of my favorite tracks from their CD.

I closed my eyes and relaxed as a gentle breeze blew through the open window next to the bed. In the distance I could hear birds singing and the leaves rustling in the wind. I had been worried that our mid-August wedding would be stifling hot, but to my great relief, a cool spell fell on the area Thursday night, leaving us with a very temperate expected high of 78. Right now the air felt more like it was somewhere around 72, which felt absolutely perfect to my skin as the breeze drifted over me.

My smile spread slowly as I listened to the words filling the air. _I wanna be your last first kiss that you'll ever have. I wanna be your last first kiss._

I lay blissfully still, listening to the remainder of the song with visions of my beautiful Edward dancing in my mind. In just a few short hours, he was going to be my husband. I rolled over, burying my face in my pillow and squealing loudly into the soft downy cushion while kicking my feet wildly on the bed.

A second later, Alice and Esme both rushed in, smiling at me as I kicked a few more times before turning over with a bright excited smile. I could practically feel the joy radiating off of my body as they giggled at me.

Esme disappeared back into her suite while Alice tugged me out of bed and began to run water in the Jacuzzi tub in my suite. She poured in measured amounts of three different oils before testing the water and deeming it adequate for me to step into. She left me alone to undress and slide into the relaxing and deliciously fragrant water.

I rested my head on the shell shaped pillow behind my head; classical music began to pipe in through the speaker in the ceiling. I smiled and sighed, sinking deeper into the delicious smelling water.

I sniffed with my eyes closed, trying to detect the scents that added up to perfection. I immediately recognized my freesia body wash, but there was also a hint of Vanilla and possibly Jasmine, or was it Cherry Blossom? I wasn't quite sure, but it was amazing. The aromas seemed to seep through my nose and directly into every muscle of my body, helping them to relax and enjoy.

After a nice long soak, I washed my hair carefully with the professional shampoo and conditioner Alice insisted I use on this very special occasion. Using the hand-held shower head, I rinsed away the residue to avoid making my hair heavy with the oils in the tub.

About forty minutes after I had slid into the fragrant waters, I stepped back out again, drying quickly and sliping into the satin shorts and button down shirt set Alice had gotten me for the day, both having Mrs. Cullen embroidered on them in golden thread, and then covered up in a white silk robe. I wrapped my hair up in my towel like a turban and walking out to find that in my absence, my room had been invaded with strangers wielding different types of beauty implements.

Esme was already seated in one of the arm chairs on the far side of the room getting her hair styled by a flamboyantly gay man who seemed to make her laugh every few seconds. Alice was seated across from her as a make-up artist speedily dusted her face skillfully with powders of varying hues.

Everyone froze mid action when they realized I was in the room, smiling at me dreamily just for a moment and then breaking their gazes and returning to their tasks at hand. I shook my head slowly and maneuvered myself to sit on the end of the bed, waiting to be told what to do next.

Before I knew what was happening, a tiny lady stepped in front of me, yanking my feet down into a large bowl type container that she slid in front of me and began tsking as she lifted a foot observing the shape they were in. I looked down at her apologetically with a shrug. I was a doctor, on my feet all day long in functional shoes, and wasn't really the type of girl to hit the spa on a regular basis for a mani/pedi.

The lady shook her head at me again, stood up and tossed my right hand into a bowl filled with similar liquid while my feet were soaking and moved to set up her supplies. After an hour of her prodding my hands and feet with devices that looked as though they were remnants of Medieval Torture chambers, I was finally set free again.

While the lady worked on my hands, the stylist had come over to take my hair out of the towel and dry it, but let me know he would not be doing the more intricate styling until much later.

Just as they both finished up, the door opened and two servers entered the room bearing trays filled to the brim with cold cut sandwiches, raw vegetables, and fruit for us to nibble on for lunch while we continued to get ready.

The other people took a break, leaving me alone with Esme, Alice, and Rose to eat in a bit of peace. Alice looked at the clock with a smile before bouncing over to hit the next song on the playlist. They all sighed at me when the candlelight version of Cascada's _Everytime We Touch_ filled the air.

I leaned against the headboard, closing my eyes and humming quietly. I already really loved Edward's sweet gesture. It was his way of being with me on this very important day when the rest of our loved ones wouldn't allow it. I hadn't seen him since eight o'clock the previous night and I was really missing him badly, as sad as that was.

The second the song ended, Alice was on her feet looking at her PDA and shouting out our schedule, detailing the rest of our day nearly down the minute. It was now one fifteen in the afternoon. The wedding was to begin in three hours and fifteen minutes. Before that I was to be taken care of by the stylists who would perfect my hair and face for the next hour and fifteen minutes.

After that, I would be assisted into my undergarments and dress and would get my pictures taken with the rest of the bridesmaids. At everyone's insistence, I would not be seeing Edward before the ceremony, but we were going to take every picture we possibly could to reduce the time it would take after the ceremony.

Once our part of the picture taking process was completed, I would be ushered back into my room, where my hair and makeup would be touched up for the ceremony while the boys' pictures were being taken. By that point the guests would be arriving and we would take our places for the ceremony to commence.

I had to admit, I was practically sweating with a torrent of butterflies taking flight in my stomach just at the idea of the day that lay ahead of me. I was so excited to be Edward's wife, but all the stuff that lead up to and surrounded it made me extremely nervous.

Alice went to the door, opening it to let in the parade of people once more. The foot lady attacked Esme's much softer and well cared for extremities with the hair stylist, who actually made me seem nearly butch, began tugging my hair up from my scalp one strand at a time, or at least that was how it felt.

I sat as still as possible as he chatted away, curling and fluffing my hair. One thing I had insisted on was not to have an overly fancy up do, that was not like me at all. I compromised on curls and a half up do, finally pointing to a picture of Rebecca Romijn's wedding photos from when she married Jerry O'Connell. Alice whole heartedly agreed, picking special white and pink lilies to tuck into my hair where it came together at the base of my head before flowing down my back in loose soft curls.

Once my hair was pinned, and plastered in place with hairspray, the stylist took a few pictures of the finished product. Alice started the next song on the track while I examined my reflection, smiling as DJ Sammy's slow version of Heaven streamed lightly through the room. I smiled, looking in the mirror and admiring how the two pink and white lilies and the three tiny white roses stood out against my dark hair beautifully while concealing the pins that held the locks in place away from my face.

Esme had just finished with her mani/pedi. She turned me gently, cupping my cheeks in her hands as she smiled brightly at me.

"You look beautiful already, Bella. Edward is going to pass out when he sees you in your dress with your hair like this. He's so happy with you. Just listen to how much you mean to him. I'm so proud I raised a man who isn't afraid to do romantic things like this for the woman he loves…and trust me, he adores you with everything in his being."

I thanked her, hugging her tightly after releasing her to leave, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the last of the song before slipping back into my seat.

The make-up girl came in next. Once again we had compromised, I wanted natural, yet agreed to let them put it on thickly enough to survive the day. When she was done, I looked exactly as I pictured it, a soft blush on my cheeks, light eye make-up, and a barely there pink lipstick on my lips.

I only got a second before Alice rushed back in to usher me into the next step. She rushed me so quickly I was barely able to take in the sight of her in the strapless white A-line dress with a sheer layer over the top covered in thin pink outlines of roses. A narrow pink sash tied at her waist made her look slightly taller. Her hair was completely swept up off of her neck and pinned in place with many tiny pearl tipped pins. She looked perfect and I smiled knowing Rose would look just as perfect.

She ushered me to stand in front of the mirror, stripping me of my robe and helped me slip into my tiny satin strapless bra and miniscule white lace thong to avoid having any panty lines in my dress. Just as she was finishing adjusting my bra slightly behind me, the door cracked open for Esme to squeeze through and stood in front of me.

Together she and Alice struggled to help me slide into my long, white, off the shoulder dress without damaging my hair or make up. Once it was in place, Alice began snapping pictures while Esme stepped behind me to lace the crisscrossed corset straps that held the back of the dress in place. Once secured, she fluffed the wide gossamer drape of material that connected the two sleeves, dipping far down my back to hit just at the bottom of the open back below where the laces crisscrossed. The fluffy tiered layers of the skirt felt so light on my legs that it almost felt like I wore nothing below my hips.

The second it was secure, Esme and Alice stepped away, clutching their chests with tears in their eyes.

"Oh, Bella! You look so beautiful sweetheart!" Esme cried, picking up her camera to take some images.

"It's perfect, Bella. Truly, you and Antonia created the perfect dress for you. It's soft and feminine and yet it _feels_ like you!" Alice cheered as she circled me.

Alice crossed the room, handing a box from the vanity to Esme who stepped in front of me again, slowly opening the hinged box.

"Bella, this is a family heirloom that once belonged to my Grandmother, and I was hoping that you would want to wear it today. It can be your something old."

There in the box sat a pearl necklace with three stacking strands of beautiful white pearls, connected with a stunning diamond encrusted clasp. It was beautiful.

I was at a loss for words and just nodded to Esme with tears in my eyes that I struggled to keep under control so as to not ruin my makeup before any photos were even taken. She pulled it out of the box, clasping it behind my neck; Alice snapped more pictures steadily. She had wanted the photographer to be in the room for my getting dressed, but I vehemently refused, insisting on privacy while I dressed.

Alice checked the way we needed to travel before coming back to claim me to go downstairs and out on the deck to begin taking the pictures. She carried an iHome with her and sitting in on the deck as I stared out at the display before me. It was amazing how it had all come together in the end.

My requested purple wisteria hung regally from the arch at the edge of the beach and tall lily plants that matched the buds in my hair lined the walkway that connected the house to the archway. The sand still remained perfect, and I knew it would probably stay that way until we marched our way to the front for the ceremony.

I heard a click as I gazed out at the display below me in amazement and looked to my right to see the photographer halfway down the stairs taking pictures of me as I looked out on everything below me.

He smiled at me sheepishly, "Sorry, but that was one of those once in a blue moon artistic shots with the way the wind was blowing your hair and your dress and the look in your eye. I'll go wait for them to let me know where you want to start."

He disappeared and Alice appeared before me again giggling. "Okay, so he made me swear to tell you at this point that even though he normally avoids country music like the plague, Jasper made him listen to a few songs and they were just too perfect not to use. This is one of several."

She hit the button and a slow piano melody began to play. I smiled, if I didn't know Jasper, I might not have recognized it, but for years he had surreptitiously been giving me what he claimed was a much needed education in real music. This was actually one of my favorites, _Me and You_ by Kenny Chesney, especially since I had gotten together with Edward. It really was too perfect for us.

Rosalie came out and joined us, my beautiful niece tucked in her arm dressed in the adorable little yellow dress with the gauzy material covering it with pink flowers and trim embroidered all over. A pink sash wrapped her waist and the sheer material came up to make cute little cap sleeves. I squealed excitedly when I saw her and the photographer began taking shots at a rapid speed as I cooed and interacted with her.

The girls and I spent the next hour taking posed pictures on the balcony, along the water's edge, and in every location we could dream up with the exception of in front of the arch which Esme insisted stay pristine until the ceremony. I wasn't about to argue considering how much money she must have spent on the landscapers and the sand art.

When we finally re-entered the house, the hair stylist clucked at the damage the wind had done to his masterpiece, shoving me into a seat and working to reconfigure the controlled chaos.

Alice trilled from the doorway before sliding into the room with the iPod again, telling me in a singsong voice it was time for the next song and there was only one more after this that I wouldn't hear until right before the ceremony.

I smiled when she connected it and started playing Tim McGraw's _My Best Friend_, another that always made me think of Edward. I sang along with the chorus, smiling to myself as the hairdresser worked furiously behind me.

_You're more than a lover._

_There can never be another,_

_to makeme feel the way you do._

_Ohhh, we just get closer,_

_I fall in love all over_

_every time I look at you._

_I don't know where I'd be_

_without you here with me._

_Life with you makes perfect sense._

_You're my best friend._

The make-up artist came in just as the song ended, to fix my lipstick and add some more powder to my face and a bit more blush to my cheeks. When she left, I found myself alone for the first time since I had exited the bath that morning.

I sighed, getting up to look in the mirror once more. It was still hard to believe that the woman looking back from the glass was me. I had come such a long way from when I first moved to Chicago as a scared sixteen year old. In all of those years there had only been a few constants, and the two most prevalent were Emmett and Edward.

As though he heard my thoughts, it was in the moment that there was a loud knock on the door and my big burly brother bear stepped through with a wide smile on his face, making his dimples seem even deeper than usual.

"Holy Shit, Bells! You look amazing! Edward's going to shit his pants when he sees you!"

I smiled and reached toward him, asking for a hug. He quickly crossed the space between us to wrap me in his big warm arms. He sighed before stepping away slowly, examining me again carefully.

"I can't believe that I'm giving you away today. I wish Mom and Dad could be here to see this and that he could do the job. I know they would be so proud of you sis."

A renegade tear escaped from my right eye and he jerked out of his reverie to look at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to make you cry. Please don't cry, sweetie."

I smiled up at him. "It's okay, Em. I've been thinking about them a lot lately. I miss them too. I'm glad I have you though. I'm so happy that you wanted to give me away since Daddy can't."

He nodded, swiping roughly at his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's an honor, Bella. I'm honored to be your brother and I'm honored to be asked to give you away. You make me so proud every day, you know that?"

He hugged me again before shuffling toward the door claiming that if he stayed any longer he was just going to make me cry again, earning the wrath of the pixie. I giggled and waved, telling him I would meet him down there when it was time.

I heard voices downstairs with the opening and closing of the door. Moments after it closed, I heard an alert coming from my phone that made me smile. I ran to my purse and tugged out my phone, opening it to read the text message from Edward.

**Love you Bella. You're going to be my wife in less than half an hour. I can't wait to see you out there. I love you forever and always! –E**

I wrote back quickly before relaxing into the chair again, wiggling my bare toes in front of me with a smile. It was one more battle that I had won. I absolutely refused to wear shoes when they would just get filled immediately with sand anyway. There has always been little I hated more than the feeling of sand in my shoes. The only way to solve the problem was to go barefoot. The compromised meant I had to allow my toes to be painted a pink to match the bridesmaid dresses, but it was a worthwhile concession.

A gentle knock on the door moments later, led to Elizabeth stepping through the doorway with a wide smile. She stepped across the room to hug me warmly and wish me luck. She pulled something from her purse and offered it to me, asking if I would wear it. A silver chain that appeared to be two small ones fastened together was lain in my hand a single tiny silver heart hanging from one of the clasps. I picked up the heart to read the inscription. _Edward Anthony Masen,_ _June 20, 1981._

I looked up at her questioningly as she smiled and unclasped one side, sliding it onto my wrist. "This part," she said pointing to one half of the chain, "was Edward's baby bracelet. I kept it safe all of these years, even through the worst times. I always kept a piece of my baby with me. Now he belongs to you and I hoped you would wear that today to acknowledge that love I have for him."

I nodded, watching slow tears seep from her eyes. Elizabeth had taken a long time to make peace with some of our decisions surrounding this day. She was being seated as a mother of the groom, but all of the official duties were being placed firmly in Esme and Carlisle's hands. The last name had been the biggest obstacle to overcome though. She had nearly broken a vocal chord with her reaction when she first heard that Edward was legally changing his name to Cullen and officially accepting Carlisle and Esme as his parents. Eventually she calmed down and found a way to live with his decisions, but it wasn't without a lot of tears and frustration on the part of all parties involved.

She gave me one more hug before exiting the room, leaving me alone again.

I walked back to the mirror, checking my make up again when the gentle knock on the door told me that Alice was back. We were at t minus fifteen minutes and counting and she was there to deliver my last song of the pre wedding playlist Edward had created for me.

She started the song and quickly left the room; Lonestar's Amazed began to play. Seconds later my phone rang Edward's ringtone. I answered in little more than a whisper and he replied in an equally low tone. Edward quietly sang along with the song as I listened, dabbing at my eyes with a tissue to keep my makeup as clean as I could, but the emotion was too much. I love him so much it hurt.

"I love you, Bella, so much. I'll see you under the arch in ten minutes, my love, and then I'm never letting you go again."

I sighed, dabbing my eyes again. "I love you too, Edward. See you up there."

The second I hung up the phone, the door opened and the girls swept in, chattering loudly. I was handed my bouquet. I smiled down at my cascading bouquet of pink roses and purple calla lilies. They fit perfectly in my hand and provided just the right amount of color to me as I would walk down the aisle toward my groom.

I exited the room to find my brother standing at the top of the staircase in his white linen trousers and button down shirt as per my orders, holding my smiling niece. He handed her off to Rose as she passed before offering me his arm, escorting me carefully down the staircase.

Emmett and I stood in the living room behind the group lining up to walk out. The butterflies in my stomach had risen to a fever pitch.

Carlisle, who had yet to see me, froze in place before a slow smile filled his face. He crossed the room, scooping me into a gentle hug and telling me how beautiful I looked before crossing back to Esme. The prelude music was wafting in through the French doors that now stood open for the first group to walk out.

The music switched to an acoustic version of _Love You Till The End_ by the Pogues, which Edward and I finally decided was a good song for our friends and family to enter to before the music changed for me. Esme had scoured the greater Chicago area to find an acoustic group with a variety of guitars and a violin in their act with an amazing set of singers to perform during the ceremony. They sounded almost identical to the band.

Jasper escorted Elizabeth down the stairs to her seat, closely followed by Carlisle and Esme, who were dressed in the same casual fashion as the rest of the wedding party. Alice followed next, carrying her small bundle of pink calla lilies with a cream colored pearlescent ribbon. Rose walked out next, carrying Emma in the crook of her arm, showcasing her pretty little dress and the tiny pouch with a drawstring at the bottom that Rose would pull the string on allowing her to drop tiny pink rose petals as they walked up the aisle to wait for Emmett and I.

Once the room was empty, leaving Em and I alone, he turned to me with a big smile. "Ready for this, squirt?"

I beamed up at him, straightening my back. "Ready as I'll ever be, brother bear."

At that moment that the words left my mouth, the song ended. A couple of seconds later, the Spanish guitar began to play the beginning notes of _I'll Always Be Right There_ by Bryan Adams. Emmett and I stepped through the doors to the banister of the deck and looked down to see the crowd of people looking up at us, but all I could see was Edward's dazzling green eyes, boring into me with a wide adoring smile on his face.

Emmett braced my arm tightly as we slowly descended the stairs and the singer began to croon the lyrics with a warm voice.

_I swear to you_ _-_ _I will always be there for you_ _-_ _there's nothin' I won't do_  
_I promise you - all my life Iwill live for you-_  
_We will make it through_

_Forever_ _-_ _we will be_

_Together_ _-_ _you and me._

Emmett and I reached the bottom of the stairs and began walking through the white sand trail toward the arch, under which Edward waited. His eyes were focused on me as he clutched his pants legs tightly in his fist. The audience around us blurred into the background as I made my way toward the man that owned my heart completely. The truth of the words of the song never rang more true to me than in that moment.

_Oh n' when I hold ya_ _-_ _nothin' can compare_  
_With all of my heart_ _- you know I'll always be_ _-_ _right there_

_I believe in US- nothin' else could ever mean so much_  
_-you're the one I trust-our time has come-_  
_We're not two people-now-we are one-_  
_Yeah- you're second to none._

Emmett and I reached the front of the aisle. Edward stepped forward, keeping his eyes locked on me the whole time. He reached out to brush a hand down my cheek before glancing briefly at Emmett. He held his hand out to shake Em's. Emmett shook it firmly before turning to me, a tear running down his cheek. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek gently before taking my hand and placing it in Edward's, patting his shoulder three times and then stepping to his place next to Jasper as one of Edward's groomsmen.

_Forever we will be_  
_Together_ _-a family_  
_The more Iget to know ya_ _- nothin' can compare_  
_With all of my heart- you know I'll always be_ _- right there_

Edward slowly lifted my hand to his lips, kissing the back gently for a second. I leaned forward throwing my hands, bouquet and all, around his neck to hug him closely. I took a long steadying breath of his scent where it was strongest in the crook of his neck as I mumbled. "I love you. Thank you for marrying me."

He chuckled. "It's me who should be thanking you, my love."

_Forever- we will be together-just you and me_  
_The more I get to know ya- the more I really care_  
_With all of my heart- ya know I'll always be..._  
_And ya know I really love ya- nothin' can compare_  
_For all of my life- you know I'll always be-_  
_Right there_

We were still holding onto one another tightly when the song ended and Edward, slowly released me, turning us both to look at the minister before our eyes immediately locked back on one another.

I don't think either of us really heard what the minister was saying most of the time, we gazed at one another. His eyes were so clear and moist that they made my heart hurt. I handed Alice my bouquet at the appropriate time before clasping my hands with Edward's while the minister instructed us to recite our vows to one another. We spoke from the heart, every word meaning so much more than the mere combinations of vowels and consonants could ever convey.

Edward reached up to cup my cheeks in his warm hands, stroking them softly with his thumbs. His eyes bore into my soul as he spoke more earnestly than I had ever heard a person speak before in my entire life.

"My beautiful Bella, I can't begin to express how lucky I feel to have you here with me, joining your life with me, and promising to be mine forever. I can basically separate my life into three parts, my innocent childhood before my father died, limbo where I walked around lost and more or less alone, and then the last seven years when you've been a part of my life, shedding light onto places of my soul I believed to be long dead and gone. From the first time I saw you, I saw how beautiful you were, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. It took me seven long years before our relationship shifted and you filled every void inside of me. You are my sun and my stars, my hopes and my dreams, you are my true north and I am so grateful that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. I promise that I will spend the rest of my days by your side, doing everything I can to keep you happy and safe. From this day until the end of time, I am utterly and completely yours. I love you with all my heart and soul."

I sniffled, wiping at my errant tears. I worried that my voice would be lost in the flood of emotions that Edward's words sent washing over me. After a moment, I took a deep breath and tried to remember the words I had prepared for my own vows to him.

"Edward, my love, my life, and the other half of my soul, I never dreamed in all my days that I would ever find a love so amazing and true as the love you have given to me. You see things in me that I could never see in myself and you always encourage me to be the best I can possibly be. You have turned your world completely on end for me, changing everything that has ever made you comfortable just for me. The only thing I can say about what we have is that it has to be the closest thing to a miracle I have ever seen in this life, and I thank God every day for giving you to me and allowing me to love you so fiercely. I promise to be your partner and walk by your side through the easy times and the hard. No matter what happens, when you look beside you, I will be right there, holding your hand and helping you figuring out where to turn next. I love you so much and I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to show you just how much you mean to me. Thank you for loving me and making me yours forever, because that is exactly what I am…Yours…Until the end of my days."

The ceremony itself is meant as an outward expression of our legal union, but for us it was so much deeper. This was a union of our souls, these were eternal promises to stand by one another no matter how rough the road ahead of us got. We had already been through so much, but life isn't fair and we both knew that there would be more trials in the future and we would face them together, side by side, united against whatever may come.

When directed, we took our rings from Alice and Emmett and repeated the words, the vibrations of our devotion moving deep in our souls from where our skin met. The feeling of sliding that thin piece of metal onto Edward's finger was indescribable. In that moment, the promises we were making to one another was so tangible it forced the tears I had managed to hold mostly at bay, even during our vows, to spew forth with overwhelming strength.

Edward smiled at me through his own tears and wiped mine away. At this point our ceremony took on a rather untraditional turn as the judge we had hired to help with the ceremony stepped forward. His job had more to do with our official name change than the ceremony itself. We had already filed all of the official papers and Edward went to court for authorization a few weeks before, but this was the moment when the judge was going to officially state for all to hear that we would now be joined as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen.

There were several gasps from the unsuspecting members of the crowd as the judge made the proclamation while we smirked at one another, leaning in close, touching foreheads, ready for the ceremony part to be over. After the judge made his declaration, the minister stepped forward, encouraging us to face the crowd and announcing us before telling Edward he could kiss his bride.

The band began to sing Shania Twain's _From This Moment On_as Edward swept me into a dip, kissing me passionately while the crowd around us cheered. When he pulled me back up, we kissed a few more times gently; he held me close to his body. The both of us were smiling so widely that our muscles were beginning to hurt slightly.

The band continued to sing and our wedding party hugged us happily before we slowly migrated toward the guests, hugging each one while they congratulated us both heartily.

Once we had greeted all of the guests and they were ushered toward the reception tent, the photographer ambushed us for endless posed group pictures and pictures of Edward and I as we frequently forgot we were supposed to be posing, instead getting lost in one another's eyes.

We suggested that the last of the pictures be taken while we walked along the beach, hand in hand as I had daydreamed so many months ago when this wedding first began to come to mind. Once he took another dozen or so pictures, we ushered the photographer back to the party. We continued to walk in peace, holding one another's hands and simply savoring the moment.

When we were far enough away we could no longer hear the loud music thumping out from the tent, Edward turned me in his arms to face him, looping his arms around my waist and hugging me closely as he leaned in to rest his forehead against mine.

"So how do you feel Mrs. Cullen?"

I smiled brightly, tipping my chin to claim his lips gently. "I feel amazing, Mr. Cullen. I don't think it's possible to be any happier than I am right at this very moment!"

He nodded before claiming my lips more passionately. We kissed for a long time, savoring one another in the last few remnants of the day; the sun finally disappeared and a smattering of stars filled the night sky. We slowly made our way back to the tent in the moonlight drawn by the smell of the delicious gourmet barbecue awaiting us, as well as the festive music drawing us in to have some fun with our friends and family.

_**Well, what did you guys think? Was it at least somewhat worthy of the build up? Please review!**_

_**Once again, I do not own the rights to the songs in this story listed below:**_

_**Anberlin – Inevitable**_

_**Cascada – Everytime We Touch (candlelight version)**_

_**DJ Sammy – Heaven (the slow version)**_

_**Kenny Chesney – Me and You**_

_**Tim McGraw – My Best Friend**_

_**Lonestar – Amazed**_

_**The Pogues – I'll Love You 'Till The End**_

_**Bryan Adams – Always Be Right There**_

_**Shania Twain – From This Moment On**_


	60. Everything

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the original charactersthatare a creation of Stephenie Meyer's vision, but I do take credit for taking them and changing their lives up quite a bit.**

_**This chapter has its own playlist. Also, not that you guys care, but I love the Canon D dance mix that I used for their entry at the reception. It was what my husband and I used for the entry of our wedding party and ourselves at our wedding reception and I couldn't resist. I just love the energy. We also reacted the same way to the beat as E and B do, my sister in law thought we had totally lost it while we were waiting to be announced! LOL!**_

http:/www. youtube. com/view_play_list?p=C6E257383D1EC9C6

_**Thanks as always to my fantastic beta Sihaya9. I really worked her hard throughout this story. She did great work! Also a big thanks to Sassenach Wench for her ever quick Validating.**_

_**Now on with the reception...**_

**Everything**

**EPOV**

It had been a long day waiting for the evening to come so I could finally marry my girl. Alice insisted we not see each other from the time they pulled her away from me the night before until she walked down the aisle to become my wife the following afternoon.

The hoops everyone jumped through to keep us away from each other were nothing short of ridiculous. One thing got me through the insanity of the day, I convinced Alice to be my information crack dealer. She came to find me on an hourly basis after each time she played the next song on the playlist for Bella, to let me know how she reacted or how she was doing. Just when I thought I couldn't stand it anymore and was going to push through everyone separating us like a linebacker at the Super Bowl, she would come with another update and I would calm down enough to make it another hour.

Just before the time came to go take my place for the ceremony, I sent Alice up with the last song, calling to talk to Bella while she listened. I really wanted one last moment that was truly just the two of us before the ceremony to remind her just how much I loved her and looked forward to spending my days with her.

When the music started, I took my place up front and watched as my parents and Elizabeth were seated, her husband broke his ankle a few days before and wasn't able to come with her, to which I was very disappointed. Not only did I really like the guy, but he really worked to help smooth things over with her over the whole name change thing. He really was a good guy and I had a lot of respect for him.

I smiled as I watched Alice dance up the aisle to stand on the far side...always the exuberant pixie. My smile grew even wider when Rose came forward, carrying my now sleeping niece in the crook of her arm while rose petals fell out of the little pink bag hanging from her wrist. Some day we would probably tease her about how she slept through her first ever flower girl duties.

Soon the first song ended and the song that Bella and I decided on, after listening to what must have been hundreds of songs, started. The band was good, but to be honest, all of my senses faded into the background when she stepped up to the banister with Emmett. I stared at her in awe as my beautiful Bella looked down at me like an angel on high. My heart began pounding in my chest and she made her way toward me, her eyes locked on mine.

The ceremony disappeared in a haze of my awe for her. I still don't know how I managed to get through my vows. Every moment that I held her hands and stared into her face was absolutely perfect. When the minister announced that I could kiss my bride, I grabbed her into my arms, twirling her into a deep dip as I kissed her passionately.

We took some time to greet our guests and allow them all to congratulate us and talk a bit before they were ushered toward the reception tent where they would mingle and begin munching on appetizers and sipping drinks while we took care of getting our pictures taken.

It was a bit tedious, but any excuse to hold Bella in my arms was good enough for me. Once we finished our official poses, we took a walk down the beach, taking a few more artful poses by the water and behind a heart I had drawn in the sand. Once we felt we had everything we wanted, we sent the photographer back and walked on together, taking a moment of solitude.

I loved having her alone and in my arms while we slowly paced up the shore, but as all good things must come to an end, we eventually turned back to face the rest of the night. We knew the party was going to be fun and we needed to spend time with our family, but if I was totally honest, I would have loved to skip this whole tradition and dash off to the airport with her right away. We couldn't disappoint Esme that way though, so we headed back, stealing kisses as often as we could until we finally reached the side of the tent.

Alice had been watching for us and by the time we reached them, she had already gotten everyone lined up and ordered the DJ to start our intro music at the sign. It was pretty silly considering they had been mingling in the tent for the better part of half an hour while we took our walk, but tradition was tradition.

Mom and Dad hugged us when we reached the group. Dad offered his other arm to Elizabeth so she wouldn't have to enter alone and then the dance club version of Pachelbel's Canon D filled the night air as multicolored lights flashed and the DJ announced each section of the group when they entered. Bella and I were excited as we waited, bouncing on the balls of our feet to the beat of the music earning chuckles from the rest of our friends.

The DJ worked his way through the list, leaving only Bella and I waiting outside. I turned to her, giving her one more passionate kiss before pulling her through the doorway and the DJ announced us as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. The guests all cheered and clapped as we laughed and bounced our way to the middle of the room.

Everyone began tapping their glasses, demanding we kiss. I wasn't opposed to any excuse to kiss my wife. She smiled at me wickedly, knowing it was coming before I could act. I tightened my grip on her hand, tugging her toward me, spinning her frame to face me. I reached one hand behind her neck as the other slid to the small of her waist, spinning her into another dip as I kissed the hell out of her.

She giggled, reaching her hands up to tug at my hair.

Through my closed eyelids I saw the bright flash of several cameras catching the moment before I lifted her back to stand next to me, guiding her swiftly toward our seats of honor at the long table at the top of the dance floor.

Instead of separating them at the head table, we let the couples sit together on either side of us. Once everyone was settled and Emma was happily sitting in her little bouncer seat at the end of the table next to Rose, the night was started with toasts. My parents went first, talking about how much they adored Bella and how much of a blessing I was to their lives. They made sure we both knew that we were loved by them very deeply and they were glad to be a part of this day. Once Mom finished up her half of the speech, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

The best man and maid of honor speeches were next; Emmett and Rose stood up from their seats, sharing the microphone as they did a joint speech of their own. Bella nearly sobbed outright when Emmett described how much she meant to him and how much of an honor it has been to have her as his sister. He mentioned their parents and how much they would have loved to have been there and how grateful he was that they had each other when they died. He went on to share funny stories of the early days, when Bella and I would skirt around one another but were always drawn to one another, bringing out the best in each other. He finally ended his portion of the speech with a blessing to us both that led to clapping from the audience.

Rose took the microphone next, telling her own tales of watching us in the time she had known us, joking about how everyone knew we loved each other except the two of us. She told specific stories about how they all hinted at it, and yet we were both oblivious to what the other felt, and I was even oblivious to it myself. Then she mentioned some observations that surprised me. She said that even in those early days before I realized the true depth of my love for Bella, I had a fierce devotion and attraction to her. Anytime she was in the room, I automatically seemed to be drawn toward her. It was like she was the planet I orbited around, destined to live in her gravitational field, and even if I didn't know it, she was always my true north, directing not only my physical but my moral compass in ways I had never realized.

My heart palpitated in my chest at the truth of her words. Nothing in my life ever led me to mend my ways in the past, not my mother's tears, not my father's concern, nor the women I left in my wake as I lived my life selfishly, focused solely on my own self-preservation and gratification. It was only when Bella made mention in her sleep how madly my behavior was did I start to change, because of her, because I couldn't stand for her to think of me that way. Only she could start a change in my so drastic that it led me to be in this place this day. She really was my everything.

I was lost in my own thoughts when the toast ended and everyone raised their glasses to toast together. I shook my head absently to jostle my train of thought, lifting my glass and tapping it lightly against Bella's. Mom had found us a beautiful matching set of dazzling Waterford Crystal wine flutes with hearts embossed on the side with our names engraved in the middle.

I sipped the wine, never taking my eyes off of my miracle beside me. A coordinator stood to announce that the food would be served momentarily just as a waitress stepped to the table sliding a plate in front of each of us. The food smelled amazing and looked even better. Mom had more or less followed Bella's guidelines, sticking to the idea of barbecue, but upping the stakes a little with high quality extremely tender meats and fancier sides than the cole slaw, macaroni salad and mashed potatoes Bella had envisioned. The food was divine though; we all ate enthusiastically and yet as cleanly as possible, each of us at the head table decked out in head to toe white, a dangerous combination with barbecue sauce.

The DJ played classical music while we ate. Frequently throughout the meal, someone would begin tapping their glass, demanding a kiss and soon the remainder of the guests would join in. Bella would blush and look shyly at me, as we would cross the space between us to please the demanding masses. When I would pull away she would sigh wistfully and smile at me, a twinkle growing a little brighter in her eyes each time. We were the first to finish our meal since we had been the first to be served, and sat together chatting as I tugged Bella onto my lap, hugging her to me simply needing her as close as humanly possible.

Once everyone had more or less finished with their meals, we moved on to the other traditional parts of the wedding reception. First we stepped to the cake table where Bella's dream cake sat. She had a pretty casual concept for most of the wedding except for the cake. She found a picture somewhere of this beautiful cake with a fountain under three tiers perched on white columns in the middle with six small satellite cakes all round it. Flowers that matched the ones she carried were used as decoration on the cake while each small cake had a tiny bridesmaid and groomsman while a large cake topper sat regally at the top. It was a bit much for the small wedding we were having, but it was quite beautiful and was Bella's dream.

We cut out of one of the satellite cakes, not wanting to risk tipping the big cake over. Bella had already warned me that she would kill me if I shoved the cake in her face. I promised I wouldn't do it to her if she didn't do it to me, making her go first to be safe.

She reached out and took a reasonably small sized square in her fingers with a large amount of icing on it, lifting it to my mouth. I opened, allowing her to place it in my mouth, but the amount of frosting on the piece left quite a bit on her finger.

I went next. She cautiously took the cake from my hand, her eyes cut up at me in warning, which made me smile. I had to resist letting my body to react as her mouth closed around the tips of my fingers as she removed the small square from my hand.

She smiled at me as she chewed the piece and then looked at her finger with a small frown before a mischievous look filled her eyes. She reached up toward me with her finger, pretending she was going to rub it across my face. I started to lean away when she winked and lifted her finger to my lips. I smirked at her before taking her finger in my mouth, swirling my tongue around her offered finger as I licked it clean of the white butter cream icing.

She sighed, her back straightening a bit as I did so, but continued to smile at me. I could see the cogs turning in her mind as visions of our wedding night danced in her head. She was still deliciously unaware of our honeymoon plans. I couldn't wait to get her alone for the next week.

Our moment of fun was soon interrupted by Alice dragging us to the middle of the dance floor where we were placed as the DJ made the announcement for the single ladies to take the floor for the bouquet toss. There weren't many there since most of our friends and acquaintances were either already married or soon to be. After a few minutes, the floor only held four ladies, Alice, Tanya, Sabrina, and Angela. Bella smiled over her shoulder with a wink before lobbing her 'tossing' bouquet which she had made for this so she wouldn't have to part with the one she, carried insisting we get it preserved as a keepsake.

I laughed as I watched the scuffle for the bundle of flowers. All four girls were very determined as they played a tug of war with the flowers before finally Alice ripped it away from the group, bouncing around and cheering while waving it in the air. The photographer finally got her to stand still long enough to take a photo of her with Bella.

Next a chair was brought out onto the floor where Bella was made to sit. I smiled wickedly at her as she began to shift uncomfortably. She knew what was coming next and she also knew me well enough to know I wouldn't behave. The DJ started the iconic garter song, _The Stripper_ by David Rose as I leaned down, a dangerous smile on my face.

She sucked in a deep breath, rubbed her thighs together slightly. I reached down and took her ankle in my hand, running my hands up her smooth legs, until they disappeared under the skirt. I dipped my head under the skirt as well in search for the garter with my teeth, while my left hand smoothed right past it to brush between her thighs teasingly.

She tensed and whimpered. I chuckled knowing she was probably beet red. I was careful to keep the activities of my left hand which were now exploring gently under the barely there material of her thong as my teeth found purchase on the edge of her garter. I wanted to stay and tease her longer, but knew if I kept it up much longer, Emmett would kill me.

I groaned a little to myself in disappointment as my fingers left the slick treasure I had found between her legs while I worked the satin and lace band down her leg and off of her foot. I stood up triumphantly, waving it above my head like a trophy while the guys whooped and hollered.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Bella's very red face glaring at me with a combination of frustration and arousal. I smirked at her with a wink before turning back to the group of single guys that were gathering before me. I chuckled when Benjamin appeared on the floor holding Tanya's little boy, Kellan.

Once everyone was settled, I aimed the elastic over my shoulder, trying to aim in the direction of Tanya's two guys. I shot it off, and unlike how the ladies all fought for the flowers, the crowd seemed to part allowing the band to fly straight to Benjamin and Kellan.

Benjamin laughed, putting the band on the baby's head like a headband. They posed with me for pictures before disappearing to the back corner of the room to rejoin Tanya who giggled away at the pair of them. I smiled, grateful that she really did seem to have found a decent dude this time.

The DJ made the announcement for the traditional dances to begin and the floor cleared. Bella and I had decided to each pick a song for our first dances. We would play her song first since it was shorter in length and dance to it alone and then would use my song to have the rest of our bridal party dance with us after the first minute or so and then allowing everyone to join us after that.

Bella smiled up at me that twinkle glowing in her eyes, as I wrapped her into my arms as the gentle piano began to play. I smiled down at her; Natasha Beddingfield's _Again_began to play. I looked in her eyes as they began to glisten with unshed tears as the chorus began.

_Never believedthat things happen for a reason,_  
_but how this turned out,removed all my doubts, so believe_  
_that for you I'd do it all over again._  
_( do it all over again )_  
_All I went through led me to you,_  
_so I'd do it all over again ... for you. for you . for you_

I took a deep breath getting exactly what she was saying. We had both been dealt a rough hand in life, losing parents, mourning their loss, finding our way and making mistakes, suffering through the hostage situation and the trial, but in the end, it leading us to one another and she couldn't regret that. Neither could I.

A tear escaped her right eye, so I reached up to wipe it away, kissing the salty trail it left behind as I pulled her body flush with mine, smothering her face in chaste little pecks until I reached her mouth. The kiss we shared on the dance floor was passionate and intimate. We forgot we had an audience, both lost in the moment together.

Soon the song ended and the DJ announced that the next selection was mine and the guests would be asked to join in at a later juncture in the song. I held Bella close, she rested her chin on my chest, looking up at me sweetly when the slow melody for Lifehouse's _Everything_started. It was time for me to send a message to her. I leaned down to kiss her lips gently, the lyrics began. As she listened, the tears began to trickle down again; I bore my soul to her through the words of the song, reiterating what I had told her over and over this past year.

_Find Me Here_  
_Speak To Me_  
_I want to feel you_  
_I need to hear you_  
_You are the light_  
_That's leading me_  
_To the place where I find peace again._

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking._  
_You are the hope, that keeps me trusting._  
_You are the light to my soul._  
_You are my purpose...you're everything._

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_  
_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

At this point the DJ asked the wedding party to join us on the floor. They smiled at us, taking the floor to dance in couples around us. I smiled back before focusing again on Bella, stroking her cheeks gently, willing my lungs to keep breathing through the weight of my emotions.

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest._  
_You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall._  
_You steal my heart, and you take my breath away._  
_Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?_

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_  
_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_  
_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_  
_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

The DJ's voice invited the guests to join us after the chorus.

When the next line started, I lifted her up a little to claim her lips with mine, kissing her passionately as I spun us in a slow circle. Her hands buried in my hair, holding it tightly as she kissed me back with abandon.

_Cause you're all I want, You're all I need_  
_You're everything, everything_  
_You're all I want your all I need_  
_You're everything, everything._  
_You're all I want you're all I need._  
_You're everything, everything_  
_You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything._

_And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_  
_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_  
_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_  
_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

When the quiet ending played, I leaned into her ear. "It's all true. You are everything to me and I wouldn't be half the man I am without you. Thank you."

She smiled up at me, kissing me gently before whispering. "The same with me, Edward. I love you so much."

I felt something tapping my shoulder and turned to see Emmett smiling down at us.

"Excuse me, dude, but it's my turn."

I smiled at my brother in law with a nod, handing my wife into his huge hand. He smiled down at her, kissing her cheek gently and I stepped away. Jasper had a huge influence on the song lists for the day, giving Emmett several suggestions for his and Bella's adjusted version of the father/daughter dance, which we asked the DJ to announce as the Brother Bear/Little Squirt dance, earning quite a few chuckles from the group. I moved to sit at the table that my parents and Elizabeth were sitting at to watch as they danced and chatted to the tune of Heartland's _I Loved Her First._

I smiled as I listened to the song. Emmett disliked country nearly as much as I did, but I had to admit the words more or less seemed to match them really well. Even before their parents died, Emmett had a very strong connection to his little sister. None of us met her until the funeral, but that first year of school almost every other sentence he spoke was about Bella. At first we thought it was his girlfriend back home or something until some of the things he said seemed weird and we finally figured it out. He hated leaving her to start high school without him there and worried like crazy that she was going to get hurt by some guy. He was always sort of like a papa bear as much as a brother bear, even back then.

Then their dance ended, it was my turn to dance with my Mom. Another big stressor with Elizabeth was the fact that I had chosen to have Mom be the official mother of the groom. She was the one who raised me for the better portion of my life. She stuck by me even when it was difficult; when I was a rebellious teen and a college lothario, she never turned me away or turned her back on me. She loved me no matter how bad I fucked up. She was every inch what a mother should be and it was in no small part thanks to her love in guidance that I was here and happy.

I smiled at my mom, reaching a hand out in offer to her. She smiled, placing her hand in mine and letting me lead her out onto the dance floor as the DJ announced the mother/son dance. I had a hard time picking out a song for this dance too until Bella suggested a song I never would have considered because I thought of it as a romantic love song, but as I listened, I realized it was perfect. The DJ opted for this song to bring down the bright dance floor lights and let the illumination of the light strands hanging along the top of the tent to be predominant. I swayed with her on the floor as Celine Dion's _Because You Loved Me_ filled the air.

Mom smiled up at me, with tears in her eyes as she listened to the lyrics. After the first verse and chorus played I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Thank you, Mom. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you and Dad. I would have never been able to pull it together for Bella without the help of the two of you. I can't begin to thank you for everything, for raising me, for putting up with me, and most of all for helping me be a man that is somewhat worthy of her."

She wiped at her eyes before she sighed against me. "I love you, Edward. You are a good man with a good heart. You are lucky to have each other. Just remember that no matter what happens in your lives, you have to stick together and love each other, even when it isn't easy. Marriage is easy when things are good. It's during the hard times that you have to fight to keep your marriage strong. I know you both have the strength and tenacity to make it through anything, so just love one another and no matter what, your father and I will always be here for you."

I hugged her close as the song came to a close, kissing her on the cheek as my Dad stepped up behind us. He hugged me before wrapping Mom in his arms and holding her close.

Once we were done, the serious traditional songs were over and someone decided it was time for the 'fun' traditional songs to break out. It started with the Hokey Pokey, disintegrated into the Macarena, and then broke out into the mother of all hilarious wedding fiascos, The Chicken Dance. Being the groom, I was not allowed to hide as I usually tended to do during this crazy song, but the laugh that ran from Bella as she was swung around the room during the do si do part was all worth it. We laughed as a slightly drunk Emmett got a little overzealous, nearly knocking Bella off her feet when he twirled her around. It was crazy, but it was fun.

As the evening wore on and the drinks flowed more and more freely, someone got the fun idea of dedicating songs to us. My parents chose Alison Krauss _When you Say Nothing At All,_ and Alice and Jasper chose Tim McGraw and Faith Hill's _It's Your Love._Mama D decided to break the monotony of the lovey dovey songs and asked for Smashmouth's _I'm A Believer_ which got us all dancing. I lost count of the rest only taking notice that Bella's boss and her husband chose the Hawaiian version of _Somewhere Over The Rainbow_ by Israel K-something or other too long to pronounce, and Emmett and Rose went 90's Old school with Bryan Adams_Everything I do, I do for you_.

The reception lasted late into the night as I stuck tightly to Bella's side. The guests finally began to disband around one in the morning. Bella and I were still going strong though, staying on the dance floor until the DJ began packing up for the night.

Bella looked up at me through glassy eyes. "I'm not ready for it to be over yet." She sighed deeply as I smiled and lifted her chin to look at me.

"The wedding ceremony might be over, but our marriage is just beginning. Now are you ready to start our honeymoon?"

A bright smile filled her face. "Absolutely. Should we go upstairs?" She winked at me and I smiled down at her, rubbing her arm.

"Only long enough to change our clothes and grab our bags."

She frowned up at me in confusion. "But I didn't think we were leaving until tomorrow. You kept saying we didn't have anywhere we had to be tonight."

I smirked down at her, kissing her nose lightly. "I said there wasn't anywhere we HAD to be, I didn't say we didn't have somewhere to go. Come on, I'm ready to get this show on the road!"

We quickly sprinted up to the guest bedroom. I ducked into the bathroom to change, not wanting to tempt myself to stay at the beach house with Bella's unclothed body. Once she was done, we grabbed the bags Alice had waiting for us on the bed and hugged everyone who was still awake, on our way downstairs to the front door.

Bella was still confused when we climbed into Emmett's jeep for our destination.

"Edward, where are we going? Where are we staying?"

I smiled over at her, bringing her fingers up to my mouth to kiss gently, smiling at the feel of her wedding band under my lips.

"It's a surprise, love. You'll find out soon enough."

We drove in quiet stillness as we made our way north to Waukegan. When we pulled into the small airfield Bella looked even more adorably confused. I laughed, parking the car and leading her through the small airport to the waiting area where our pilot waited, surfing the web on his laptop.

Thirty minutes later we were in the air, the rented Leer Jet taking us toward our European destination. Once we reached cruising height, we were informed it was safe to get settled in. I stood up with a wide smile while Bella began asking where we were going. She squealed when I revealed that we were on an overnight flight to Greece where we would be on a beautiful Greek island in our very own private villa for the next six days.

Her joy was only increased when I introduced her to the luxuries of the plane which included a bedroom in the rear. Her smile morphed into a sexy smirk as she pulled me into the room, slamming the door behind her and pushing me onto the bed. She climbed on top of me, moving her body in ways that made me insane. I groaned before flipping her under me, kissing her with unbridled passion.

"So, Mrs. Cullen, I take it you're not too tired to enter the Mile High club with me this evening?"

She smiled up at me coyly. "No, Mr. Cullen, I am definitely awake enough for that."

We laughed before falling into one another again and again, not getting any rest until after we were tucked safely away in our beautiful honeymoon villa.

_**I decided to leave them here. I hate writing honeymoons...they just get way too boring and predictable after a while. I mean we all know they're going to lay in the sun and screw like bunnies on Viagra, so I figure your imaginations can do them far more justice than I can! I hope you guys enjoyed the last of their wedding day and the end of their story. We have the epilogue next...we jump fifteen years into their future for a glimpse at family life for the Cullen/Swan/Whitlock Clan. Hope you enjoy it.**_

_**Thank you all for your amazing reviews and comments. I'm going to miss this story and I'm really going to miss hearing from you guys. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for helping this story break two thousand reviews on here. I really appreciate it.**_

_**As you well know, I do not own the rights to any of the following songs mentioned in this chapter.**_

_**Robert Miles – Pachelbel's Canon D Club Mix**_

_**Natasha Beddingfield – Again**_

_**Lifehouse – Everything**_

_**Celine Dion – Because You Loved Me**_

_**The infamous Chicken Dance (I really don't know if anyone owns any rights to this insanity)**_

_**Allison Krauss – When You Say Nothing At All**_

_**Tim McGraw and Faith Hill – It's Your Love**_

_**Smashmouth – I'm a Believer**_

_**Israel Kamakawiwo'ole**____**– Somewhere Over the Rainbow**_

_**Bryan Adams – Everything I Do (I do it for you)**_


	61. Epilogue: Fifteen Years Later

**WARNING: THIS STORY IS NO LONGER BEING EDITED FOR CONTENT. FULL DESCRPTION WILL BE INCLUDED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Twilight characters.**

_**I can't believe that this is the end! It has been such a great ride. Thank you to every one of you who read this story from beginning to end, who laughed with me and cried with me and wanted to throw Edward through windows with me, it's been an amazing experience. You have all amazed me with your dedication to reading and your reviews. Between posting on fanfiction and here, this story has gotten well over seven thousand reviews. That just astounds me. When I started this story, I never dreamed so many people would want to read it and add it to their lists and leave reviews. Prior to this story, the most reviews I had ever gotten for a story was 568...so this really just totally blew me away. Thank you all so very, very, very much!**_

_**Thank you so much to Sihaya 9 who has been inundated with over 400,000 words as we made this trek from March until now. She's been very diligent and I am incredibly grateful. Also, a big thanks to Sassenach Wench who helped us get this entire story posted on Twilighted in a few short months.**_

_**(SIGH)**_

_**I don't want to end this a/n because then that means that I'm posting the last chapter of FDKK...but all good things must come to an end. I hope you like the glimpse into their future. By the way, I couldn't resist. No names came to mind for E&B's two youngest, so I used my own kids' names!**_

**Epilogue: Fifteen Years Later**

I grabbed a blanket and hastily slid open the back door leading to the deck to yell out over the pasture at the retreating figures in the distance, my one year old daughter still perched on my hip under the blanket. I shivered as the freezing cold blasted me. I worried Lyssie would get a cold, but that would be far better than the possible alternative.

"Charlie! Masen!" I yelled out toward the four bundled forms walking away from the house toward the back of the property.

I cleared my throat and yelled louder. "Masen Charles Cullen and Charles Aaron Swan, you listen to me right now!"

At the sound of my voice the four boys turned to look my way, shoulders hunched against the biting wind.

"Do not take those boys out on the pond. It looks frozen over, but it hasn't really been all that cold until today. We have no idea how thick the ice really is. It could be dangerous, so no ice trekking, skating, fishing, or any other activity that would put you boys on the ice!"

Charlie nodded and shot me a thumbs up as my son turned his back and kept going. "Mase, I mean it. Anybody goes out on that ice; I am holding the two of you personally responsible!"

He turned and nodded curtly. I could tell he was annoyed, but I didn't care. I rushed back in, sliding the door closed behind me and cuddling Elyssa closer, watching them retreat further from the back of the house. Truth of the matter was, Andy and Andrea's son, Tony, was the oldest, but my son and my nephew ringing in at nine and ten years old respectively were the undisputed leaders of any mischief that would take place at any gathering. Alice and Jasper's middle child, Brandon, would just quietly tag along and try to stay out of trouble if he could, it was just his personality.

I turned around to see Andrea, Alice, and Rose smirking at me as they helped our younger ones play Candyland. My two youngest sons, Riley and Ethan were arguing over whether or not Ethan really had to go back to Mr. Mint's candy cane square when he drew his card. My two youngest boys were six and four, but you could almost swear that they were twins, both looking like miniature Edwards from their perfect bone structure to the same bronze hair and green eyes. The only way to really tell them apart was that Ethan, of course, was a wee bit shorter and preferred wearing green while all I could ever get Riley to wear was red and black. They continued to yell in each other's faces while their three year old baby cousin Brooklyn, Alice and Jasper's youngest, and my nephew Cameron, who was seven and the calmest of the Swan brood, watched on warily.

Finally, growing sick of the yelling, I stepped between them, directing them both to sit down.

"Either the two of you stop yelling, or you can both go sit on the naughty step while Cam and Brookie play without you."

They both shut up right away, plopping in their respective chairs, each with arms crossed and identical pouts on their faces. Most days I swore up and down that the only reason that they didn't get along was because they were just too much alike.

"And for the record, yes, Ethan, you have to go back to the Mr. Mint's square if you draw his card. Sorry, sweetie."

I ruffled his hair as he huffed, moving out from under my hand. I sighed knowing he would come and hug me later, telling me he was sorry for being mean, but for now, he was too angry at the world to accept my affection.

I set Elyssa down in the playpen to go check on the turkey, dressing and the other items cooking in preparation for our Christmas dinner. It was a tradition that every year we would all congregate at our house in Joliet for Christmas festivities since it was bigger and allowed us to spread out.

I heard a yell from the basement, as the guys' team obviously made a good play, which was met in response with the music volume from Hailey's room getting slightly louder to drown out the interruption.

Our eldest girls were all either officially teenagers or getting very close to it. Emma was now a quickly developing, drop dead gorgeous, fifteen year old replica of her mom, much to Emmett's chagrin. It had been just over a year now that the boys started calling and showing up at their front door and Emmett was already a mess over it. I think he probably aged five years' worth of maturity in just the last year alone.

Andy and Andrea were the next to jump on the baby train, getting pregnant right around the time of our wedding. Aleah turned 14 last May. She and Emma were best friends and completely inseparable these days.

Alice and Jasper's first born, Bree, turned 11 two weeks ago. She was an adorable little sprite just like her mom except with Jasper's flaxen locks. She had a really sweet and compassionate heart like her Dad, and truth be told, was the one that had me wrapped around her little finger. Wonder where she got that from?

And last, but definitely not least, our beautiful little Hailey who just turned twelve back in July. Edward and I managed to keep our timeframe for having children, but just barely. I had stopped taking the Depo shot just as I was starting my last year of residency in an attempt to let it get completely out of my system by the time I was finished. In the meantime, we were using condoms to protect it from happening too soon, but by some form of contraceptive malfunction, I found myself pregnant just a couple of months into my residency.

I was terrified while Edward was absolutely ecstatic. I swear he acted like every day was Christmas. He kept saying over and over that the timing was perfect. After the first year and a half of struggling, the training center took off, quickly gaining nationwide attention. Once the attention began to grow, they had more applicants than they had days of the year to squeeze them all in. In the year that followed, the facility had become entirely self-sufficient paying its own bills, payroll, taxes, fees, and managed to pay half of the initial startup cost back to Edward's trust. Professionally, it seemed to be nearly perfect timing.

The last year of residency is exhausting anyway, but adding the constant strain on your energy and body of pregnancy made it a painful uphill battle, but I pushed through. I worked the floor through morning sickness, swollen ankles, aching backs, and Braxton Hicks contractions. As luck would have it, I went into labor at midnight on the day that I had finished my residency. Hailey Renee Cullen, or Hailes, as Emmett dubbed her because he loves to call her Hailes Bells, was born at 8:21 am on July 31st looking like a miniature me with jet black hair, only gaining her Daddy's green eyes and long fingers.

_I grabbed Edward's hand tighter this time as another contraction gripped me, rippling through my entire body. Even my toes felt like they ached from the spasm. I let out a wail when the contraction hit its peak, Edward whispering words of encouragement in my ear the entire time._

"_Bella, you can do this, baby. Just hold on a little bit longer. The doctor is coming and then we can have our beautiful baby girl. She's going to be perfect you know, just like you."_

_I melted against his side, the exhaustion of my eight hours of labor were starting to get to me and I shook my head._

"_I can't, Edward! I just can't! It hurts too much. Why isn't the epidural working? I can feel everything!" I sobbed._

_Just then the doctor came in at the same moment that the next wave of pain gripped me. I bowed forward, screaming; I felt a joint pop slightly in Edward's hand from the pressure I was exerting. He didn't even make a whimper._

_The doctor examined me and looked up with a smile. "This is it, Bella. It's time to push."_

_I cried again. "I can't, doc, really. I can't."_

_He smiled up at me. "You've made it this far, Bella. Now all the baby needs is for you to push her out. If you don't then it could put her in danger. You need to get her out, honey. Okay?"_

_I sobbed, but nodded my head. The nurse helped me sit up, directing Edward to support my back and encourage me to hold my breath and push down like I'm trying to have a bowel movement._

_Edward held me close, whispering that I could do this and he was with me. When the next contraction hit, the doctor told me to push. I took a deep breath and tried not to scream as I pushed hard with my muscles._

_I had hoped it would be like the movies, three pushes and she'd be out, but I was a doctor and already knew the reality would not be nearly as simple as a rule. I was right. Ten minutes of pushing later, I was so exhausted I could barely hold my head up. It just wasn't working. Everyone kept encouraging me, but I just had no energy left to do it. My body hurt so bad it had now completely given up._

_I rested back against the bed, Edward leaned over me, rubbing my forehead with a cool wet cloth. He looked me deeply in my eyes with so much love that I wanted to cry again._

"_Bella, my love, you can do this. I know you can. I believe in you. Come on baby. You can do this for our little girl."_

_I nodded, knowing I couldn't give up. He helped me sit back up and with the next contraction, I pushed with all the strength, love, and hope I had left in my body. Everyone started cheering as they a large portion of the pressure released suddenly and the doctor announced that the head was out and told me not to push._

"_What do you mean don't push? I __**have **__to push, my body is making me!" Now that the head was out it was like my muscles were working without me._

"_Just hold on, we have to help her shoulders get past and then you can push again."_

_Edward looked down between my legs and gasped. "Oh my God, Bella! That's amazing! I can see her face...she's adorable. A bit messy, but adorable..and she has a ton of black hair!"_

_I cried with joy and also with pain as my body protested the delay. A few seconds that felt more like an eternity later, the doctor told me to push again, and within an instant she was out._

_Edward kissed my head thanking me as the doctor cleaned her a little and then set her on my chest. We both cried, watching her squirm on my chest, releasing tiny cries before opening her big eyes and staring up at us._

From the second she released her first cry, Edward was her willing servant. He adored that little girl more than anything. From the beginning, she was a Daddy's girl. They shared a few passions, not the least of which included music, which was why she had a music collection that was the envy of all of her friends.

When the noise level battle between the girl's bands and the football game continued to escalate, I decided I couldn't take it any longer. I walked down the hall, tapping loudly on Hailey's door before opening it. The girls all looked up surprised for a second before turning back to painting their nails and gossiping. Thankfully the older two took the younger two under their wings and included them, instead of ignoring them like some might do.

"Ladies, this is way too loud. I'm going downstairs to ask the guys to keep it down, but I want you to turn this down first. No more noise wars or it goes off for good. Got it?"

"Yeah, Mom," Hailey smiled at me while affixing some kind of jewel thing to her toenails with super glue.

"Dinner will be ready in a couple of hours, so be prepared."

"Okay, Aunt Bella," the others chimed, sending me their smiles that worried me because they seemed a little too angelic.

I opened the basement door, instantly hit with the blaring sound of the game piping through the home theater speakers in Edward's cave. I walked straight to the sound system on the wall, turning the knob to lower the volume earning a group "HEY!" before they turned around to see me glaring at them, my hands on my hips.

"This is way too loud, boys. I already have a house full of children to keep under control, I do not need to have to monitor you four while I'm at it. I made the girls turn down the music. No more noise wars or I'm unplugging the cable!"

Edward smirked up at me while the others looked worried. Edward knew I was more bark than bite, but the others weren't as sure.

"By the way, the boys bundled up and took off for the back of the property. I told them to stay off the pond, but I'm still kind of worried. Don't guess you guys would want to go out and have a snowball fight with them or something to help keep them out of trouble?"

"But the game?" Emmett whined pointing at the TV.

"Can be easily recorded on the TiVO and watched later. Meanwhile, our sons will only stay out of trouble so long without adult supervision when you put Charlie and Mase together."

They all nodded in understanding before standing up and stretching. Emmett pouted at the TV. "But it's not the same when it's not live."

I chuckled, "Think of it this way Em, you can rewind and watch the plays however often you want to if it's recorded when you watch it. I'll even save it for a few days if it's really awesome."

He huffed and pouted but begrudgingly followed the other guys upstairs.

I looked around with a sigh. I really missed Esme and Carlisle this year. Usually they helped me keep the masses under control at family get togethers, but this year they had taken a trip to Europe as an anniversary present to one another. Now that they were retired, they both enjoyed spending long stretches on vacation, having seen the better part of the globe in the past ten years.

They both stayed in the city up until Hailey was born, but once their first real grandbaby graced the earth, they couldn't resist any longer. They both retired and built their own retirement haven not too far away from our home. Our children were completely in love with them…their Nana and Papa.

I walked back upstairs to check the food again, taking some time to change Elyssa's diaper and put her in her pretty Christmas dress for the rest of the evening. I had a smock to put on her during the meal, so hopefully, with a smidgen of luck, it would manage to stay halfway clean until presents and pictures after dinner.

We giggled together as I tickled her tummy and slid tights over her legs. Elyssa was our totally unique baby. She really didn't look like either one of us with blue eyes and blonde hair that fell into two perfect spiral curls in front of both of her ears but nowhere else. There were times where I would see a flash of Mom's smile or Dad's grimace. Occasionally I would hear Elizabeth's giggle or Emmett's belly laugh, but that was where the resemblances ended. She was most definitely her own little person. I finished pulling on her crushed red velvet dress, sliding a headband on her head and tiny black patent leather Mary Janes on her feet. She looked like a perfect little china doll.

I played with her a little more, letting her shut off the light on the way out of the room. I could hear the young ones giggling in the living room as I made my way back toward the rest of our guests.

I was just stepping back in the living room when Edward and Emmett burst through the doors carrying a soaked and shivering Masen. The rest of the guys all rushed in behind them, worried expressions on their faces.

My heart nearly stopped and the world slowed to a crawl. I hurriedly handed Elyssa off to Alice before rushing up to Edward as he laid our son on the floor. I took a quick look at Masen's eyes and noticing his lips beginning to turn cyanotic already from the cold, but thankfully he was breathing, all be it shakily. He shivered on the floor, his teeth chattering loudly.

I immediately began tugging off Masen's wet, heavy outer garments, trying to piece together how much exposure he had to the icy water.

"What happened?"

"Pond," Edward replied nervously.

I growled wanting to know something I hadn't already figured out, "Was he in the water for long?"

"No," Edward whispered while breathing heavily. "Just as we reached the boys I saw him walking out onto the ice. I yelled out for him to come back and he turned to look at me at the same second that the ice gave way. He wasn't very far out, so he went under from surprise, but was only about chest high when he stood up. I helped him out and carried him in right away."

Adrenaline surged in my veins as I began barking out directions. After finishing my residency, I began working three to four days a week at the free clinic, but I didn't run into many emergency cases on any kind of regular basis. Suddenly, I was wishing I was more accustomed to the fast pace world of trauma so I would be more prepared to deal with this, although nothing could probably ever prepare you for your child being injured.

I sent Rose off to start a lukewarm bath while gesturing for Edward to pick up our son, pushing him toward Mase's room where we stripped him down the rest of the way so that all he was left in was his underwear. I wrapped him in a blanket, rubbing his arms and legs vigorously while we waited to hear that the bath was ready. I kept Mase talking to me the whole time.

When Rose said the word, Edward and I rushed him into the bathtub, slowly lowering him into the water as he hissed. Even at the lukewarm temperature, the water was going to be a bit of a shock to his system.

Hailey stood paralyzed in the doorway when I asked the rest of the adults to take the kids in the other room and check the food while Edward and I sat in the bathroom with Masen. We held hands to comfort one another, slowly adding more warm water as he grew accustomed to the temperature.

Once his lips started to pink back up, I sighed in relief. It was then that the anger started bubbling to the surface.

"Masen Charles Cullen, why? Why did you go out on the pond when I told you it could be dangerous? You scared me so much, sweetheart," My voice cracked at the end as I ran a hand through his hair. "Why did you do it?"

"I..I ddon't know, Mmmom," he stuttered, a shiver still remaining in his voice although his body temperature appeared to be stabilizing. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes. "I'm so ssssorry, Mom."

I hugged his shoulders, not caring in the least that he was getting me wet. While Hailey was a Daddy's girl, Masen was all about Mommy from the beginning. He was so sweet and caring, melting my heart every time he pouted at me with those big doe eyes. He ended up with Edward's hair and my eyes. The only one of our children, ironically enough, who ended up with my eye color.

I was the one Masen always confided in and looked to for guidance until about a year ago when Charlie started teasing him for being a Mama's boy. Ever since then, he started pulling away from me and creating more mischief than usual. It hurt my feelings and made me worry, but I tried not to take it personally. No boy wanted to be labeled a Mama's boy. All I could hope was that someday he would learn that talking to me and confiding in me didn't hurt his masculinity.

"Baby, I wish you would stop taking so many risks like this just to show off for Charlie. That's what happened wasn't it? Charlie dared you or teased you and so you did it to impress him?"

My precious son nodded sadly, ducking his head in shame. I sniffled, wiping at my eyes. Edward shifted beside me, leaning over the edge of the tub and putting a hand on our oldest son's shoulder.

"Mase, you've got to learn not to let the peer pressure get to you. Your Mom told you not to go on the ice to be safe, not to be mean. You have a stronger character than this, son. Don't go along with the crowd. Stand apart and be your own man. Make your own decisions, because in the end you are the one who has to live with them, not the person who talks you into doing something."

Masen watched Edward's eyes intently as he talked, soaking up Edward's words of wisdom. Mase loved his dad very much, and he had bonded much more with him in the last couple of years since pulling away from me. I guess both of our eldest children were just reaching that age where they needed to relate to the parent they were most like, because I had noticed Hailey seemed to be coming to me a bit more for things lately as well.

Once we were satisfied that Masen was safe, Edward and I left the room to give him privacy in order to finish bathing and get dressed. He would join us in the dining room for dinner soon.

Once the door closed, I leaned into Edward's chest, sobs racking my body violently. Edward held me close, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Oh my God, Edward! What if you hadn't been there? What if he had made it further out before the ice broke! Oh God, we could have lost our little boy!"

Edward's arms tightened around me as he rubbed circles in my back. "I know, baby. I don't think I have been that scared since that day in the ER. God that was terrifying!"

We held each other in the hallway, drawing comfort from one another. Even after all of these years, nearly a decade and a half of marriage, he was still my rock and my strength.

I leaned back, looking up into his tired green eyes. The years had been very kind to his now 43 year old self. He was still handsome as ever, a few scattered stray grays in his bronze mane and a few smile lines around his eyes and mouth were the only things to give away the fact that any time had passed at all.

If only time had been so kind to me...after five kids, my hips were quite a bit wider than they once were. On the plus side, my boobs grew with each child as well...something Edward was quite happy about. I took to dying my hair a couple of years back when the grays began to stand out in my dark head of hair. Edward still claimed I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, to which I always chuckled and made some sort of remark about love being blind.

I lifted my hand to wipe the stray tear that escaped from Edward's eye. I cupped his cheeks in my hands as I tipped forward to kiss his lips gently. "I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. You are an incredible father and the best husband any woman could ever have. Thank you for keeping us all safe and cared for."

He moved his hands to cover mine, holding them between us before raising them to kiss each knuckle. "Thank you for being a wonderful wife and amazing mother. I don't know what I would ever do without you."

We held one another a few more minutes, before the sound of Masen's door opening brought us back to the present. We hugged him between us, walking toward the living room where everyone sat waiting.

The kids all jumped up, sprinting to hug Mase, followed by his aunts and uncles. Charlie sheepishly walked up to us, apologizing for daring Masen to go out on the pond. It was obvious he had gotten quite the tongue lashing from his parents while we were at Masen's side. We accepted his apology, warning them both once more that there were reasons that parents said the things that they did, and they were lucky things hadn't turned out worse. They both nodded with their heads down, looking properly remorseful.

We all settled down for a nice Christmas dinner. We worked together to clean up while the kids happily played Santa, sorting the gobs of presents into piles for each recipient.

When the work was done, we took a moment to take our traditional Christmas pictures. We always took a group shot of the kids, a group shot of the adults, and each individual family.

Sitting in the living room and laughing happily we watched the kids take turns opening their presents and once they were all opened, the kids disappeared to play with the new bounty as I took Elyssa up to tuck her in for the night.

I quietly sang Christmas songs as I tugged off her pretty dress that stayed mostly clean during supper, slipping her into a soft footy sleeper. I swayed side to side with her in front of her crib, humming Brahm's Lullaby, a tradition I did with each of my babies when it was bedtime. She whined quietly, shifting against my chest, burying her face in my neck before turning away and resting her cheek on my shoulder and then turning back to my neck again. I quietly laid her in the crib, telling her good night and turning on the musical aquarium attached to the crib bars. She fussed lightly when I walked away, closing the door all but a crack to help reduce the noise coming in and yet still provide her with the sense that we were nearby.

I checked on the kids playing in the basement as I passed the doorway before going back to the living room to join the couples. Alice had taken Brookie and tucked her into Ethan's bed while I was busy putting Elyssa down. The older ones would play happily all night in the basement if we let them, so we were finally left with some peace and quiet.

We all sat around joking and talking, sipping hot apple cider and coffee while taking our time opening our presents. We didn't get very many opportunities to sit around as adults and simply talk anymore. Life was too hectic and typically there was always at least one kid running around and interrupting our discussions. Every year we relished these few quiet hours in the dim light of our living room together.

As eleven o'clock quickly approached, everyone began to say goodnight, loading up their cars and forcing their kids to bundle up and ushering them out to their minivans and SUV's. We were officially soccer parents of the highest order now.

Once we waved the last car off, Edward and I went down to usher our kids into their rooms. Hailey had recently outgrown the desire to read with us before bedtime, so we simply hugged and kissed her, wishing her sweet dreams as she closed the door to her room.

We had also started doing separate routines with our boys. Riley and Ethan's tastes were still quite similar, while Masen wanted to read more action based books that riled the young ones up instead of settling them for bed, so Edward and I had concoct a divide and conquer strategy. Every night, Edward would read with Masen while I would take the younger two, occasionally switching just so all the boys could have their daddy at bedtime for stories, but as a rule, we split that way. Once stories were done, we would all congregate in one of the rooms together and say our bedtime prayers, each taking a turn before tucking the young ones into bed with hugs and kisses. Once we had them settled, we would go down and say one last goodnight to Mase, hugging him if he was in the mood before shutting off the light.

It made me sad that soon Mase would outgrow our traditions just like Hailey had, so I treasured our time while we still had it.

Once all the kids were safely tucked away, Edward and I walked around the rooms tidying up a bit before cuddling with cider in front of the fireplace. We made a point at least once a week to take some us time, and every Christmas we made a special effort in memory of the day he asked me to marry him.

I looked up at the mantle above the fireplace to see the silver collage frame full of pictures of the two of us throughout the early years before we realized the feelings we had for one another. The very last place on the frame now held a picture of Edward and I on our wedding day. Edward drew a heart in the sand, writing Mr. and Mrs./Dr. Cullen inside. He splayed a blanket above it for us to sit on, which we curled up on, posing and kissing for the photographer. The picture we chose to fill the space was one of us staring into one another's eyes, the emotions of the day written all over our face.

Of course, there were other wedding pictures taken that day that were displayed throughout our house, but that one was my absolute favorite. I looked at the rest of the frames splayed out across the mantle and across the wall of our children at various ages. Alongside the pictures of our beautiful kids sat the picture of my parents with Em and I at Disney World inside the Mickey Ears frame, as well as Edward's photo of Edward Sr. and Elizabeth when they were young. The angel still stood sentinel between them just as it had in our apartment in the city.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, brushing his fingers lightly over my arm and hand as we relaxed before he lifted my right hand, sliding a ring onto my middle finger, next to the Claddagh I still wore religiously right along with my wedding set. I looked at my new piece of jewelry and smiled when I saw the colorful array of jewels on the band that represented each of our little angels.

Edward turned me to face him, bringing my hand to his lips to kiss lightly. "I'll love you forever, my Bella. You're more than a mom, a wife, a lover, and a best friend to me...you are the part of me that makes me whole. All of this would fall apart without you. No matter what happens, just know I will love you till the end of my days."

I smiled at him, tears blurring my field of vision slightly as I cupped his cheek. "I feel the same way, Edward. I love you more today than the day I married you."

Edward grasped my hips, pulling me closer. His lips claimed mine in a passionate kiss, his hands moving to gently caress the flesh under the edge of my top. I moaned into his mouth, adjusting my legs to straddle his waist, feeling his desire for me even after all of these years and all of the changes my body had gone through after giving birth five separate times.

He moaned as we moved together on the couch and suddenly I remembered where we were and who might walk in if we didn't have a change of scenery. I pulled away with a smirk.

"Mr. Cullen, I think it's time for a change in venue...don't you say?"

He smiled that ridiculously erotic crooked grin at me before standing up, holding me up by my butt as he carried me toward our bedroom. I giggled, wrapping my legs around his waist and we disappeared into our room to remind one another once again that we really were two parts of a whole, meant to be united in every conceivable way.

_**Author's note:**_

_**For clarification sake, here is the breakdown of the kids by parents and ages:**_

**Emmett and Rosalie**

Emmalie Isabella Swan (15)

Charles Aaron Swan (Charlie) (10)

Cameron Mitchell Swan (7)

**Edward and Bella**

Hailey Renee Cullen (12)

Masen Charles Cullen (9)

Riley Christopher Cullen (6)

Ethan Isaiah Cullen (4)

Elyssa Grace Cullen (1)

**Aliceand Jasper**

Brianna Michelle Whitlock (11)

Brandon Michael Whitlock (9)

Brooklyn Jade Whitlock (3)

**Andy and Andrea**

Aleah Grace Markowitz (14)

Anthony Nathaniel Markowitz (11)

_**I debated on whether I should post the summer oneshots at the end of this story, but I've decided not to make you all wait for them since the first eight are already posted on fanfiction. Go check them out…I named the posting Bella's Summer Knights. (I know…I'm a cheesball!)**_

.net/s/5639108/1/Bellas_Summer_Knights

o~O~o

_**Sigining off... A Cullen Wannabe)**_


End file.
